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#still not sure exactly what food it was
jaeyxns · 1 year
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uhm 
well
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sysig · 2 years
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Nobody can tell me what to do! Even me! (Patreon)
#Doodles#Spamton#Can't believe Spamton lives in my brain now. Rude#He doesn't even pay rent he just comes through the door full speed and smacks against the adjacent wall#You might recognize that doodle of him laughing 'cause I thought it was so good that I cut it out to be a standalone#Just like the nervous David from like two years ago! Time...#His little slot chin did turn out really well tho I'm pleased with it#Since I doodled the second I have gotten a burger and fries but it wasn't Exactly what I wanted#I got to live a bit of the Bounce House at School vibe for a little while at an event catered with a food truck :)#I definitely over-ate lol but I didn't get a burger! Even tho the food truck was Americana! The onion rings were delicious#Silly minicomic pulling out the Super Crown lol#It's funny 'cause I don't usually draw Rule 63 (Ladyverse excepted) and I managed to skirt the Bowsette explosion pun(s) intended#But I started thinking about like....Spamette I guess? I have drawn her but like#She's very cursed lol I'm not sure if I'm gonna post her lol#The little devilish grin was fun to draw tho lol I basically never draw expressions like that on myself#And then finally the pathetic little worm#Of all the things from the Sweepstakes that was probably the one (1) that I wouldn't have hated vehemently that was directly Spamton#(I say hate /lh in relation to Spam but like - I still hate him lol)#I even dreamed about getting the worm! Can you believe that!! I never dream stuff like that!#I could hear Dreamself's thoughts like ''Oh hey now that drawing is for real! Cool!'' and then I woke up#So they get it but I don't lol unfair!
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rapha-reads · 2 years
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Cover letter in French : boring, tedious, but easy (it is my native tongue after all).
Cover letter in English : slightly harder, demands more brain cells working on it, but still easily doable (it is my "heart language").
Cover letter in Spanish : ... suddenly I don't remember a word of Spanish. What's a cover letter? Help me, Obi-Juan whoever the fuck you are, you're my only ho.
I speak Spanish. Technically. Officially. On my good days.
*pathetic screech*
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hecksupremechips · 30 days
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Rebecca gales has bpd she told me herself
#rebecca gales#the letter#the letter visual novel#listen im new here im not exactly a knowledgeable cookie here about bpd but the more i learn the more im like. inch resting#cuz for starters its like idk if it all applies to me but i find a lot of it very relatable#but when i think about rebecca i think it definitely applies and makes a lot of sense just like the way she feels emotions#shes got so much complex feelings about the people she loves shes very caring and loving#to the point where they feel its too much to handle alsjks like i love how cute she is with isabella when shes worried#she squishes belles face to check for injuries and she pulls isabella into her lap and pets her hair and sings for her#and always gets her food and worries herself into the ground to make sure isabella takes care of herself#and then with ashton hes definitely her favorite person she sees him like a prince charming and remembers everything about their#relationship like her way of showing love is definitely by remembering things and paying attention to how people feel and what they want#and then zach even though they arent as close she still helped him with his movie and she defends him when his movie gets hate#like in such an angry way he tries to brush it off but shes like NO NOBODY GETS TO TALK TO YOU LIKE THAT#and same when luke is shitty to him and tries to steal his camera rebecca lets that guy have it#and with luke even though she does hate him shes the only character who makes him see the good in himself#and she lets him know that hes fully capable of changing and being a good father and person#shes just so loving but at the same time so easily has a split where she cant stand anyone either#she thinks isabella is obnoxiously immature and is jealous as fuck of her and she is very quick to fight with ash#because he just doesnt show his love for her like she does for him and thats just such a problem like#that feeling that youll always love someone way more than anyone will ever love you and it makes her really upset#and like sometimes her feelings just get bitter so quick and at inappropriate times like when shes mad at isabella while shes fucking#in a literal coma because ashton is in love with her and not rebecca and shes just so like wrapped up in her own feelings there that she#completely disregards the entire situation and ashtons grief because she cant think about anything else she just cant help it#so yeah i think its just the way she feels emotions very strongly and switches between them very quickly that makes me think hm maybe#something is going on here 🤨 and i just love it i love her i love how shes just a character whos just like#got all these complicated feelings but shes still loved and gets to slay penis and simply exist as a complex person
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featherymainffins · 1 month
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Binge-reading Dungeon Meshi because it's the only thing standing between me and suicide ngl.
#it at least gave me the single molecule of mental energy required to force myself to eat at least one slice of bread#because it's like the physical energy is there sure but mentally I'm like 'noooooo I don't want to eat anything i hate food#all food tastes bad and i hate life and i want to eat nothing at all and furthermore i need to lose weight so i should starve myself'#I'm thinking that it might actually make me last until I either convince the crisis center that I'm for fucking real for real#or until my appointment with the school counselor. which idk when would be because i was supposed to go on the#2nd of April but i guess there might be holidays because he called me when i was atva lecture but i couldn't take it#because i had a lecture and he hasn't called since but I'm assuming#that hell call again and that he wants to let me know that the date is impossible#but I want to like wait and see what he says. and if he goes like 'oh actually im on a long vacay now goodbye forever'#or whatever I'll just go '...slay' and ride my ass to the hospital tomorrow.#show up at the crisis centre looking exactly like the patients with chronic pain who report pain 7 while looking unphased#like 'hello i am an active danger to myself I can't get out of bed most days; i need 16 hours of sleep to function for 4 hours#my meds have stopped working I haven't eaten anything but exactly 2 pancakes and a slice of bread in the past 4 days#and i exhibit a strong refusal to change this marked by thoughts present in people affected by eating disorders. no activity#feels fun anymore and they were marked by a strong sense of anxiety a few days ago but now i just feel nothing at all.#at this point I'm not even refusing to do any of my hobbies because im increasingly afraid of failure and its#consequences while being hunted for sport by anxiety from the opposite end telling me that i need to finish 50 masterpieces#immediately or nobody will ever like me again and they'll all see me for the talentless fraud i am. at this point i just don't care.#i don't do anything because i feel sluggish and my body is heavy and I'm so so tired and I'm tired of being awake and I can't think straight#also i think i might be going into a psychotic episode again.'#they're gonna tell me to get the fuck out of their faces anyway but it's worth a try.#like idk i feel like they might kinda listen because yesterday I guess they wouldn't have but today i have stopped caring about cars#and looking both ways. which is like. not a good sign probably. also yesterday i was still somewhat able to talk to people#even though i was in a very irritated and drained out state but today I'm feeling like if anyone even fucking attempts to talk to me#or if i hear any loud fucking sound at all I'm just gonna punch myself in the head until the pain drowns out all the sound
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And speaking of scurvy, I am eternally amused by the thing where some ancient form of healing that was born in a time where people didn't know exactly how the human body works, or what causes it to stop working sometimes, that still somehow worked. Like how so many old folk medicinal plants were listed as a cure for various ailments that - from a modern view - are clearly just symptoms of scurvy, and the plant itself is rich in vitamin C.
I recall reading some story, no recollection of the exact time or place, where the king of a large empire suffered from constant horrible headaches and was incapable of falling asleep unless drugged or blackout drunk. Sick of taking temporary fixes to dull the pain and having to be sedated every night, he called up some old sage healer who was said to know how to fix things nobody else could explain, and the healer heard his symptoms and went
"Hmm. You spend too much time being a king. Your skull is packed so full of kingly thoughts that they don't all fit in there and that's why your head is in pain. You need to spend time not being a king." And prescribed him to schedule three days every month where he must go to a peasant village where nobody knows he's the king, live with a family there under a fake name and identity, work in the rice fields with them, eating the same food and sleeping on the same mats. Absolutely nobody is allowed to address him as the king, speak to him of any royal or political matters, and he himself is not allowed to think any kingly thoughts or think of himself as the king.
And naturally, this worked. Taking a regular scheduled break from a highly stressful office desk job to completely decompress, paired with physical exercise in the form of hard but simple physical labour, plain and simple food and Just Not Thinking About Your Fucking Job All The Time does help chronic stress, which here was worded as "spending too much time being a king clogs your brain."
Sometimes you do have ghosts in your blood, though I'm not entirely sure whether you should do cocaine about it.
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arolesbianism · 4 months
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Y'know I was thinking abt how I like to bully alone dupes in oni when they enter the socializing state alone but then I realized... When they're socializing they go to the printing pod. They're talking with their deadbeat mom that's so cute 🥺
#rat rambles#ok ok calling her a deadbeat mom may be a bit harsh but its not completely untrue imo dhdkhd#anyways I didnt make a lot of progress today in my main oni playthrough but I finally got a couple that Ive been kinda avoiding getting#aka ari and joshua because I like to hate on them for no reason#I also got a nails today so yippee#Im almost good to go with jorge I just need to wait out the timer basically#I've actually already gotten some decent food production going so I might try to commit to this colony instead of dipping like I planned#I will be sending quinn back home tho they deserve to see their friends again#in the meantime I got party phones set up in the newer two colonies so everyone can call eachother now :]#Im still not exactly sure how Im going to fit like 20 more dupes but Ill figure smth out#I should be able to fit like 5 or so dupes in the newest colony and if I play my cards right I could shove the rest into the other new one#but for that Id need to seriously upscale my oxygen production there and while I do have infinite water I do not have infinite space#but I do wanna get to my goal as fast as possible since I do not wanna think abt what would happen if I ran out of certain materials#specifically in the second newest colony were their main food source is waterweed#I should be able to manage for a while and worse comes to worse I can cheat but Id rather not have to#I could theoretically switch to mealwood if that happens but again Id rather not have to#oh also some real poggers news I found a single bristle blossom plant on the newest colony#I still need to go dig it out but that means that Ill be able to start progress on getting a more reliable food source since grup fruit#will only last so long without me taming a sulfur guyser and well Im a wuss who doesnt want my lil guys to die#oni posting
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wikagirl · 8 months
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so at annotopia there was this guy and his wife running a shop selling native american looking jewelry and other stuff like blankets or bags with prints so, considering the rabbit hole about cultural appropriation and horrible treatment of the natives I went down this year, I was hella sussed out at first so I had a lil chat with him after he did a little music show on the stage.
Well turns out he‘s apparently from one of the Dakotha tribes and came to germany to share their culture and art but now the only events that will have him are fantasy festivals or those western festivals that have the conferderate flag all over the place :/
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squishycheekanon · 25 days
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Price, price and more price🌸🩵
Imagine being John’s pen pal. It’s starts off so innocent, strangers, with you intent on staying that way after a recent nasty break up with a rather nasty man.
You just wanted something to take your mind off of everything while you wallowed away in self pity. Your work had sent you home for a month, said you needed time to heal and get your mind right.
So here you were with nothing to do when one of your friends suggested being a pen pal. And who of all people were to take up your request but John Price.
A simple, name, favourite colour and asking how his day was going was all you wrote. He replied with exactly what you’d asked word for word. Very straightforward and almost strategic and of course asked you the same things.
Then it was age, favourite food and how tall he was. A little description of his face. And again he replied with exactly that. You knew then that you’d have to work hard to get more out of him.
The weeks went by and slowly but surely, John began to become looser. Open up more. Genuinely talk to you. It helped not only you start to heal but also help John heal. He didn’t even know he needed to heal in any way. Maybe the loneliness, the fighting, the pain, the emotionlessness had finally caught up to him.
Work decided you still weren’t ready which was quite honestly bullshit, that’s what you told John anyway. He completely agreed and asked for your manager’s name and social security number. You thought it was a joke, he wholeheartedly wanted to teach the man a lesson.
This week you decide to paint the spare bedroom in your apartment and you told John all about it. You felt almost giddy as you sent letters back and forth deciding paint colours. He loved the domesticity of it all, felt like his little woman was asking what colour to paint a shared home while she waited for him to return. What he wouldn’t give….
He loved the little things like that. Loved when you’d tell him about what you were getting from the grocery store and he’d suggest something he thinks is good. Loved when you’d tell him about a new outfit you bought. He’d tell you how much he’d love to see it and how he bets you look beautiful.
You feel ecstatically nervous when he asked for your phone number. You obviously gave it to him. Impatiently you waited, staring at your phone for it to ring. When it did you jump up, palms sweaty, lump in your throat, heart beating so loud you could heard it in your head…then you pressed answer.
“Hi love.”
“Hi John.”
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no-one-hears-me · 10 months
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sorry guys I'm mentally stable now
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bunnyhugs77 · 3 months
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High Demand
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ꕤ- Pairing: Dealer! Jungkook x Reader
ꕤ- WC: 2.6k
ꕤ- A modern day Romeo and Juliet
Content: college student! reader, grumpy jk, brief texting! au, jk is lowkey whipped, drug use (marijuana), reader is his special customer, vaping, opposites attract, suggestive themes, minor jealousy, idiots in love (but they won't admit it), shot gunning, grinding, fwb?
Other Content: thigh riding, high sex, jk titty appreciation, unprotected sex (no.), hand job, soft dom kook, reader is a little needy, brief switch! koo, hickeys, pet names, spit, biting.
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Shaking your head with a small giggle as you looked at your phone before tossing it aside. You're totally his favourite. You know he's stubborn and he would never admit it but deep down he loves delivering to you the most.
Looking around your sad and dimly lit dorm, all the lights were off and your roommate was gone for the weekend doing god knows what with her weird ass biology major boyfriend who would collect rabbit tails in jars for 'science'.
You were looking at one right now actually, it seems they left one behind, on the coffee table. It was just fermenting in... you actually weren't sure and didn't want to know.
Your eyes felt like they were on fire the longer you looked at the stupid philosophy paper you were writing. The bright light from your laptop was beginning to drill into your head. Your head lolled to the side glancing at the time on your phone.
It was almost 11:30, and time for a break. Abandoning the device on the couch for a quick wake-up shower; by the time you'd gotten changed and returned to the living room, you could expect Jungkook any minute now.
Except, this is Jungkook we're talking about. He's always late.
That's why when you heard the familiar rattling of the rusty fire escape you were startled. It was a little past midnight. Climbing through the window in nothing but your basketball shorts and a white tee.
Pleasantly surprised to see Jungkook scaling the platform with a bag of takeout pinned in between his teeth. The sight of you looking down at him from where he climbed made his eyebrows raise but of course he couldn't say anything.
Not until he was finally close enough for you to grab the bag from his mouth and he stands up. You climb back inside first with him following behind with a pained sigh. "I'm so sick of coming here. Got me climbing walls like its fucking subway surfers." He curses while you place the food down on the table.
Completely ignoring him, practically drooling as you slowly peeled open the bag. "And I thought you said you weren't gonna bring me anything." He snatches the bag.
"I didn't."
You let yourself fall onto the couch, arms crossed and unbelieving. "Oh yeah? So you just coincidentally craved Wendy's and decided to haul it up three flights up a ladder from your mouth when you could've just eaten it in the car?"
"Yeah exactly." He shrugs, obviously lying.
"Give me the bag, Jungkook."
"Fine. But I'm charging you extra for the delivery and the labour of bringing it up here." He hands it to you and you roll your eyes knowing it was nothing more than a bluff.
"It's not my fault you're out of shape," you mumble unwrapping the burger. "Oh yeah? Is this what out of shape looks like to you?" He says it almost offended but challenged.
Choking briefly on your food as he lifts up his shirt, revealing the defined abs that you have such lewd memories of. "Yeah, that's what I thought. You try climbing 3 flights up a ladder and tell me it's easy." You shrug,
"Not my fault you're banned from the campus." He drops himself down beside you, reaching for the bag of fries and taking some for himself. "But it is, if you hadn't called me to drop off a stash for Angelica's dorm party maybe I could still take the stairs."
You drop your half-eaten burger with apologetic eyes, "How was I supposed to know they were doing random security checks in the lobby? At least you didn't get arrested." You pout and he scoffs.
"Bare minimum." He says via grumpy mutter under his breath so you offered up the rest of your food to him as a peace offering. A little sad that he actually took it but you were getting full anyway.
As he finished up the rest of your food you couldn't stop yourself from asking, "So do you still do drops with Angelica?" He nods with his mouth full of the last bite, stuffing the wrappers back in the bag.
"How often does she call you?-- for deliveries I mean." He chuckles, licking his lips, "Jealous?" You take the trash off the coffee table and bring it to the kitchen to toss it in the garbage. "You're delusional."
"I can't help it if I'm in high demand." He manspreads, his arms stretched over the back of the couch. "Just shut up. Do you have my pen?" He reaches for the pocket inside his leather jacket, pulling out the slim box.
Already knowing that you were going to use it now, he began to unbox it while you collected the cash you needed. "40 right?" You say handing him the small spread of bills, "Yeah, but for you, I guess I could make it 30." He shrugs conceitedly.
"Because I'm your favourite." You say and he shakes his head, "No. Because I ate your food." Which he paid for but you didn't dare to say that out loud, you were getting cheap weed.
"So who's your favourite then Jungkook?" He hands you the pen, "Listen. I don't climb up the fire escape when I do deliveries for Angelica, I make her come to me. Is that what you wanted to hear?"
Trying to tug the pen out of his grasp but he holds it firm until you respond, "I guess I can work with that." He smiles softly, letting you take the first hit as his arm wraps around your shoulder.
The two of you passed the pen back and forth, with little giggles here and there and wide eyes on the episode of SpongeBob that was playing.
By now the dark living room is illuminated by nothing more than your roommate's lava lamp and a strip of purple LEDs' taped behind the TV. You could see the smoke as it floated past the few sources of light.
"Open." He directs, taking a particularly long hit, leaning into you and blowing the pungent smoke into your mouth, sucking it in from his lips.
The pen is now forgotten as it rolls between the cracks of the couch. Straddling Jungkook's muscular thigh as he flexed it every now and then, taking hits from his blueberry Ice vape and blowing it to the ceiling, giving you a prime view of his sharp jaw under the soft purple lighting.
The sight made you shake, gyrating your hips almost desperately as you chased the feeling of friction on his denim-clad thigh. "You like that? You feel good fucking yourself on my thigh?" The question was rhetorical, you were too dazed to answer him anyway.
Your heavy-lidded gaze slowly rolls up to his pretty face once you feel his hand move from your hips to gently wrap around your neck, not applying any pressure, just there to let you feel the weight of his hand. "Answer me," He says, and you fall forward "Yess, feels so good." You moan, and Jungkook has danced this dance with you enough to see you were close.
But of course, he couldn't let you cum so soon, not yet. His hands flew to your hips and pinned you down on his thigh, restricting your range of motion. "Please," You beg and he wishes he had a little more willpower but he couldn't say no to you, not when you looked so fucked out when he's barely touched you.
"Fuck. Take your shirt off." Leaning back and crossing your arms over the base of the shirt, you pried it off your body desperately. Leaving you in your black lacy bra and it pulled out a guttural groan from Jungkook's chest.
"You little whore." he grits through his clenched teeth, grip tightening on the arm of the couch nearly ripping the fabric.
This position was no longer giving him what he so desperately craved. Shrugging the jacket from off his shoulders and taking off the tank top underneath letting your eyes roam over his built upper body, oh how you wanted to just...
Without thinking your tongue striped up the expanse of his bulky pecs. This was new, but Jungkook was so high out of his mind anything and everything you did felt like he was on cloud 9.
Your mouth dropped down to wrap around his rosy nipples and you could've never anticipated the worked-up reaction you got from him. "Oh shit, shit shit." He gasps, hands gripping your waist tight enough that you're sure there will be bruises by the morning.
Letting your tongue lap around his nipples with pure hunger, an inexplicable flame burning in your core as you were finally the one who got to watch the other be reduced to a moaning mess.
His once soft moans turned a little breathy and high-pitched, His hips bucked causing you to jolt in his lap, he was getting close.
"Didn't think you'd like having your tits played with so much?" You tease him but he didn't find the humour in it. He holds you by the throat once more, this time applying a generous amount of pressure, pushing you off him.
Unbuckling his belt and you knew what that meant. He slides out of his pants, followed by the boxers that were the last barrier between your moistened lips and his throbbing cock. "Let's put that smart mouth of yours to good use, yeah?" He hums, watching as you sink to your knees, hand carefully wrapped around his base, starting with slow pumps.
"Spit on it." Doing as told, you let a wad of spit fall from your pretty, plush lips and coat the shaft of his dick, you worked your palm up his length. Already satisfied with the way his head was thrown back.
"Just like that," Reaching for the vape, he takes a few good hits, the head rush mixed with the pleasure had him seeing stars-- the object falling from his hands immediately the moment he felt the warm heat of your mouth wrap around his sensitive tip.
"Y/n-" He breathes out, almost scared, he was so close, too soon. He's never struggled to hold himself back this badly before. What were you doing to him?
The obscene sounds of you choking as you struggled to take all of him in your mouth, letting your nose touch the soft, trimmed hairs near his base. Focusing on breathing through your nose before you felt a heavy hand on the back of your head, pushing you lower.
You were quite literally slobbering on his dick, gagging with every buck of his hips. "That's it, princess. You're doing so well--Shit. Mouth feels like fucking heaven." His praise rushes to your core and has your left hand trailing down to rub yourself through your lace underwear.
The rough friction being more than enough to get you there, "I'm gonna cum, baby. Where-- Shit!-- Where do you want it?" He gasps, his hips snapping, pushing his length down your throat almost erratically. You don't answer, only hollowing your cheeks to take him deeper, making your desires clear.
Your own fingers quickening their pace, your own sounds travelling through his dick in vibrations and pushing him right over the edge with you, filling your mouth with his warm cum.
Swallowing as if it were second nature. "Stick out your tongue," He says softly. His chest rises and falls rapidly as he tries to regain his composure from his overwhelming climax. Your tongue was out and cleared of any of his cum and it made him crazy.
He remembers the first time he'd brought an order to you over 6 months ago. He thought you were nothing more than a cute little philosophy major, never did he think he'd have you beneath him like he does right now.
Looking up at him, daring to give you an almost angelic gaze while the two of you ruined each other. Tainting each other with your own touches. "Kiss me?" You ask it so cutely, tempting him with the pout on your lips. You weren't being fair.
His body didn't give him a choice before his lips were on yours, his hips grinding into yours. The feeling of his solid dick rolling against your skin making the butterflies go ramped in your stomach.
The way you licked over his bottom lip with your own made Jungkook weak, stumbling on his elbows as he held himself up over you. Soft groans could be heard the deeper the kiss became.
Messy and intimate. Your hand crept up the back of his neck to tug at the dark locks of hair on his head. There was a loud pop and the two of you paused.
With Jungkook between your legs and with you under him, your heads turned slowly towards the coffee table where the jar was, dedicated to the fermenting rabbit tail. "What the fuck is that?" Jungkook slowly sits up, "My roommate's boyfriend's weird biology shit. I dunno, it freaks me out too." You sit up, now remembering what the two of you were in the middle of doing.
"That shit's not gonna blow up or anything right." You gently peck him on the lips but his brain seems preoccupied by the jar, "who knows," you say, kissing right under his ear and that seemed to get him to zone in on you.
Catching his bottom lip under his teeth as your kisses became more eager, suckling on a certain spot on his neck, his head falling back against his will. "Fuck, Y/n-- Don't you dare." You pull off his soft skin with a soft pop, admiring the burgundy bruise left behind.
"Oops." Your apology was ingenuine and bratty, and Jungkook hated brats.
Tearing you out of your final pieces of clothing before manhandling you into his lap. "Sit on it." He demands and you follow without question. Moaning out loud as his dick spread your lips apart like butter.
Sliding down with ease and a stretch of your velvety walls that were currently squeezing Jungkook for everything he's got and he's got nothing left, everything was yours.
"I-Shit! You feel so good, Kook!" He couldn't bother to correct you on the annoying nickname you were incessant on using. "Yeah? You like that- fuck, you feel so good." He curses, bucking his hips up into you as you raise your hips trying to match his thrusts.
He was fucking you so good, so ruthlessly, your head falls onto his shoulder and you needed more than just the couch to hold on to, your teeth sank into the muscular meat of his shoulder and his pace faltered.
"Shit shit shit! Do that again." He groans, picking up an inhumane pace that had you bouncing all over the place until he stilled you in his arms. His grunts and breathy moans came out right beside your ear only pushing you to your orgasm faster.
"J-jungkook-!" You pant, unable to speak, feeling like your insides are being rearranged, "Me too, baby. Cum with me." You finish first, and with a few more unsynchronized snaps of his hips, you were being filled to the brim with his cum.
The room is filled with nothing but the sound of muffled music playing from your neighbour's next door and laboured breaths. Jungkook gently lays you down on the couch beside him, staring into your eyes.
This felt so intimate. You felt his gaze deeper than just behind your eyes, it was as if he was looking into your soul. His eyes were tinted red as he looked at you with an adoring gaze. "You're cute." He says it casually as though he hadn't just fucked you.
Your eyes roll before they close, feeling the sleepiness begin to kick in. "Bet you say that to all your customers." Mumbling the words into his chest while he began to grin a little.
"Nope. Only to my favourite." Your eyes shoot open.
"I knew it."
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piratefalls · 1 year
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there’s been so much going on in the last like two weeks and i am so tired and it’s coming up on final exams at work and that’s going to make me more tired and i am now double tired in advance
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perlelune · 4 months
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Hunger | Coriolanus Snow
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From the moment your husband introduces to President Snow, you're untethered, as if the very floor was ripped from underneath you.
Warnings: NON-CON, District 12! Reader, Covey! Reader, Housewife Kink, Manipulation, Somnophilia, Breeding Kink, Chasing
This is a dark story. Heed warnings before reading under the cut.
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Nervousness wrenches your insides as you peer at the proceedings from afar. Another gala to raise funds in order to quell a budding rebellion in the Districts. The second one this year. 
They always leave you feeling sour. It’s not like the Districts have no reason to start an uprising. The next reaping is fastly approaching and you’d rage too if your family was to go through that again.
You take a tiny sip from your glass of posca, mindful not to overindulge. The diluted, aromatic wine is far stronger than one would imagine. But a slight dash of intoxication is the only way you can see yourself getting through the night. Crowds always made you anxious, but a gathering of Capitol citizens stirs a particular discomfort in you. 
You’re not one of them and you often wonder if they can tell, sense a whiff of District 12 on you. The foul stench of unbelonging. Perhaps in the manner you speak or your stance. You’ve never managed to perfectly mimic the way Capitol ladies carry themselves, born from a lifetime of practicing poise and etiquette. After all, you are an outsider, and always will be.
Regardless of how many galas you attend, fashionable dresses you order to match the quickly changing trends of the Capitol, effort you exert to erase your thick Covey accent…it seems someone can always tell there’s more to you.
It’s in that mocking glint in their eyes, that sneering lilt in their voice.
To them, you’ll never be more than District rabble. 
Which is exactly why you despise these events. But your husband insisted. He’s working hard to impress his boss, the most important man in all of Panem, and you can’t let him down.
You must be the picture of charm. Laugh at every joke, nod your head when a serious topic is being broached, display interest when personal stories are being shared.
You place a hand on your roaring stomach, a frown creasing your brow. You haven’t swallowed a bite the entire day, too anxious about how tonight would go.
Your gaze darts about the room. The tantalizing spread of appetizers in the middle of the room seems to be calling your name. Your mouth waters.
Without a thought, your feet glide across the marble tiles. A little self-conscious, hesitation tingles at your fingertips as they drum by one of the silver platters. Another pang of hunger pierces your insides at the sight of the food. You cave in, picking up a tiny sandwich from a plate. Your eyes close, angels singing in your mouth as delicious aromas trickle on your tongue. 
“Sweetie, there’s someone you must meet,” your husband chimes at your back.
Still chewing on a mouthful of meat and bread, you whirl. Your eyes bulge. Startled, you nearly suffocate on your food.
You quickly wipe your mouth as heat rushes to your cheeks.
You’ve seen his face before. The murky screens do not do justice to his dashing looks.
“President Snow. It’s a pleasure. Apologies, I was…”
A smile ghosts over his lips as he drinks you in, his cerulean gaze dragging over your frame. “No apologies,” he answers silkily. “I’m glad you’re enjoying the food. At least someone is.”
He picks up your hand and presses an ephemeral peck on the back of it. You turn to Henry. The shock adorning your husband’s face mirrors yours.
President Snow’s lips curl skywards.
He lets go of your hand and adds, “It’s nice putting a face to your name. Henry is always raving about you.”
You shake your head, eyes bashfully finding the floor. “Oh, I’m sure he isn’t,” you mumble.
The blonde hums as if to disagree. He bends close to your ear.
“He’s always lauding what a wonderful wife you are, dutiful, sweet…”
…Makes me almost jealous.
Your head whips up.
You blink at the whispered words, barely above a breath. Maybe you heard wrong. It’s hard to tell, the way Snow gauges you, that subtle smile still decorating his handsome face.
He asks you trivial questions about how you’re settling in and how you’re enjoying your life in the Capitol. You answer every time, ignoring the chill dancing at the base of your spine.
His scrutiny swells your unease.
So as soon as the conversation veers away from you and towards the topics of lawmaking and taxes, you snatch the opportunity to excuse yourself.
You give an apologetic smile to your husband.
“Henry, maybe I should go. I’m not feeling too hot.”
He scowls at you. “You want us to leave already?” Disappointment bleeds in his tone. A thick layer of shame settles in the pit of your stomach. You’re being a bad wife.
“You can stay, even if I go,” you try to offer.
“There’s still so many people we haven’t talked to…” Henry argues.
You deflate. You suppose it would be uncouth to leave too early.
To your surprise, President Snow’s smooth lilt interjects, “If your wife is unwell, you both should go.”
You gape at him. A strange glint bounces in his cerulean orbs and unease flutters through you once more. 
Henry sighs, grabbing your hand.
“Alright. I’ll go fetch the car.” 
He gives the blond a formal salute before dragging you away.
As the two of you leave, the heat of Snow’s attention prickles along your spine.
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“Did he say something to you?”
Gasping, you turn to your husband. He pointedly looks at you and you shift awkwardly in the passenger seat. 
“What?” you say, taken aback by his sudden question. 
He studies you for a while before his gaze drifts back to the road.
“Snow. He said something to you, didn’t he?”
Your chest clenches. Faking nonchalance, you shrug and reply lightly, “Just a joke but I didn’t understand it.”
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The days soar by, humdrum and uneventful. You file away the strange moment at the gala and return to your everyday life. Henry occupies most of your time but when you’re not catering to him, you tend to the house and read. And during stolen moments…you play and sing. Henry doesn’t know, of course. It’s a life you left behind, or are supposed to at least. 
You’re the wife of a Capitol official, not some District balladeer peddling song for coin.
But you can’t help it. 
Singing reminds you of home. Of endless green meadows and lazy afternoons by the river. Your life from before may have been uncertain but you find yourself missing it at times. Missing the freedom to do and act as you pleased.
An orphan like so many others, the Covey were the only family you ever knew. Then you met Henry. Henry who spoke so sweetly to you and gazed at you with warm brown eyes. And he became your family. He didn’t care that you were from a District or that your manners were lacking. He embraced you.
And now you wish to support him in all that he does. Even if it means tossing away parts of yourself.
The front door cracks open, halting the path of the needle between your fingers. A smile blooms on your lips as you place Henry’s shirt on a nearby table. You can resume fixing the buttons on it later. You rise from the armchair and make your way to him. You help him out of his coat, noting the excitement radiating off his frame.
He’s not usually this ecstatic after a day of work. You tilt your head in puzzlement.
He hugs you before announcing, “We have a guest tomorrow, a very important guest.”
“Oh,” you reply, tamping down your concern. The apartment isn’t exactly ready for guests, much less important ones. The fridge needs to be stocked and the furniture requires thorough dusting.
“Yes, I was mentioning what a wonderful cook you are and he said he hasn’t had a home cooked meal in a while.”
“Who?” you ask, your curiosity peaking.
“President Snow,” Henry replies with a victorious grin.
Dread and confusion collide inside you. Why would President Snow visit you and your husband of all people? While Henry’s been rising in ranks quite fast, you can’t picture the leader of the country making time for people like you.
But you don’t voice these thoughts, instead you inquire, “Are you sure my cooking will be enough for him? His palate is used to those fancy meals at the Capitol.”
He cradles your face and plants a kiss on your forehead.
“Don’t doubt yourself, honey. You’re an amazing cook.”
“I just don’t want to let you down,” you confess, anxiously chewing on your lip.
“You won’t,” he assures. His chestnut gaze dives into yours. “This could be a great opportunity for us. Imagine what being close to Snow could do for our lives. He could promote me. We could even move to a bigger place.”
Your brows knit. “I love our place.”
Henry laughs. “Yes but the day we expand our family, you have to admit it’ll be a little small.”
You peer at your surroundings. Every corner of the little house harbors a beloved memory. You’d hate leaving it behind, but you suppose he’s right. You might outgrow it one day.
Henry frames your chin to draw your focus back to him.
“Just be yourself,” he says. “Your kind, sweet, wonderful self and all will be well.”
Nodding, you give a feeble smile.
“Understood.”
The next day is spent meticulously cleaning every inch of the house. For hours you’re anxious, wondering what to say or do, how to behave. You don’t have the natural wit and charm to impress someone like Coriolanus Snow. You keep worrying you’ll speak out of turn and embarrass Henry. Preparing dinner is the only time your mind is at rest. You stir the vegetables in the stew, smiling as the delectable scent fills your nostrils. It’s simmered for hours to create a rich flavor. It’s only your second time trying this recipe so you’re a bit nervous. Henry adored it but he’s your husband. You don’t know if President Snow’s delicate taste buds will find your meals to his liking.
You’re slightly more confident about your strawberry cake. While you struggled with it at first, the frosting never quite coming out the way you wanted, it’s now turned into one of your specialties.
The doorbell rings and you freeze. You glance up at the clock hanging near the stove. Already? Time has flown and you didn’t notice.
As you approach the door, you smooth out the wrinkles in your apron and straighten your spine. You take a deep breath before opening the door. 
A wobbly smile cants your lips upwards. 
“President Snow, it’s an honor,” you greet cheerfully.
The tall blond crosses the threshold after your husband. You take him in, trying to girdle your apprehension. He casts an imposing figure with his slicked back silver locks and tailored purple suit, the signature white rose pinned to his left breast pocket as always.
An aura of authority seems to follow him wherever he goes. 
“Please, the honor is mine,” Snow says. His sky gaze roams across the living room. His expression is unreadable and you feel a bit self-conscious. It’s likely not as luxurious as what he’s used to. But to your surprise, he looks right at you and says, “What a lovely abode.”
His nose twitches as he hums, “I smell something heavenly, for me perhaps?”
You nod.
“I made beef stew.”
“Wonderful.”
Your cheeks warm at the compliment. 
“Shall we sit?” Henry says, escorting him to the dining room.
You rush to the kitchen and throw your apron on a chair. Inhaling a lungful of nerve, you slip on gloves and grab the pot from the stove. Slowly, you bring out the food. Your skin tingles with the weight of Snow’s eyes on you. 
You ladle out the stew on each plate. When you circle the table to serve Snow, you feel the faintest brush of fingertips over your hip. You flinch.
When you look at him, an almost imperceptible smile hovers on his lips. You blink and it almost seems like it’s gone, as if you dreamt the entire instant. The ladle wavers in your hand.
Did he mean to do that? Once again, you question your own senses, your sanity. It was a fleeting touch, the accidental kind that occurs everyday. But somehow your nerves are agitated with this mere, insignificant second.
Quickly, you round the table and plop down in the chair next to your husband. He squeezes your hand beneath the table, his brown gaze spelling “good job”. Relief sits inside you. You spent all day agonizing over every aspect of tonight so it’s nice to know Henry appreciates your efforts at least.
Everyone starts eating, your husband and Snow engaging in topics you only listen to with half an ear. Instead you focus on your plate, swallowing tiny bites of the stew. 
The flavor is nice and rich, just like you hoped, and pride trickles inside you.
“You’re so silent. Are we boring you?”
Snow’s abrupt statement yanks a sharp gasp from you. Your head snaps up. You realize both he and Henry are staring at you. Your face warms.
“N-No, I just don’t have anything interesting to contribute,” you stammer, your head dipping. 
“My wife has no mind for politics, I’m afraid,” Henry chuckles. 
Your mouth screws shut, your fingers tightening around your spoon. It’s more that your opinions differ vastly and there are things Henry prefers you don’t say aloud.
A crooked smirk blooms on Snow’s lips.
“Ah, a pretty, silent one. I believe you lucked out with this one, Henry.”
Your teeth grind as your brows twitch. Pretty and silent. You don’t know why the words chafe you, cutting into you as deep as a knife. 
You rise from your chair and grab your near empty plate. 
“I should go clean the kitchen,” you announce with a terse smile.
You don’t look back as you walk away, berating yourself with every step.
This isn’t how one should behave in front of him. But you also don’t think you can spend another second in his presence.
You rub the sponge over the top of the stove, satisfaction trickling inside you as the grease and sauce stains are wiped away. You bask in the calm, concentrated on your task. 
A warm breath tickles the shell of your ear.
“You seemed peeved before.”
Sucking a sharp breath, you whirl on your heels. Your hand spreads over your chest as your vision is filled with the towering frame of President Snow. His stance is relaxed as he peers at you curiously.
“You scared me…President.”
He ignores your reaction, continuing his statement from before, “When we were discussing the next reaping.”
You shake your head. “I wasn’t peeved.”
“Your face, it did that thing.” Your forehead creases. He inches closer. The scent of roses, thick and heady, coats your senses. Your head starts spinning. “Like now. It bothered you.”
Panic flutters through you. This is a man who could have you hanged or jailed for saying the wrong thing. But something about his expression tells you he won’t relent, that he'll only take the truth and nothing else.
So your heart spills out of you.
“In an ideal world, we wouldn’t need the Hunger Games. They are…” You trail off, remembering yourself, who you’re speaking to. You bite down your feelings and go quiet.
But Snow bends over you, crowding your space as your back hits the edge of the stove.
“What? Barbaric? Cruel?” He chuckles and goosebumps rise on your flesh. “But we do need them, dove. Every single year. So the districts never forget their place, and most importantly ours.”
Your lip quakes. Snow’s gaze follows the motion, his lips slanting lopsidedly.
“Such a sweet soul,” he whispers.
He suddenly backs away from you. Air rushes back to your lungs.
“It’s late. I should take my leave. Thank you for a most…enlightening dinner.”
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You resume your life and, for a while, everything is normal. Henry doesn’t talk about that night again and neither do you, the both of you bonded by that silent agreement. Maybe he saw Snow talking to you in the kitchen, maybe he didn’t. You’ll never know as he keeps his thoughts to himself, throwing himself into his work and acting like his usual self. 
And if there’s a bit more distance between the two of you in the marital bed, you try not to let it bother you. With time, the strangeness will fade and you and Henry will be back on track, trying for a child and enjoying marital bliss.
Though one evening, things are anything but normal. In fact, the world all but ends.
Your husband peruses the notice letter for rent once more. The blood seems to leave his face.
He runs his fingers through his dark curls.
“I don’t understand.”
Hands resting on his shoulders, your heart skips a beat as you read the neat printed letters.
Rent in your building has doubled overnight. If you and your husband do not pay up by next week, you will be evicted. Houseless.
Hell, you might even be sent back to your district. Your heart plummets to your feet. Your knees buckle underneath you. Henry catches you before you fall, leading you to the sofa as panicked breaths rush through your lungs.
He hunkers in front of you and holds your hands.
“I promise you I’ll find a way. Take out a loan or-”
“A loan we won’t be able to pay back?”
His jaw clenches. “Just let me handle it, okay?”
Though doubts creep inside you, you nod.
The days race along, tension growing each day as the deadline is approaching. Only three days. In just three days, you and your husband will be evicted unless a miracle happens.
And you conclude from the dark circles under Henry’s eyes and the way he barely answers when you speak to him, that he’s as clueless as you are.
There is no solution. Once again, the Capitol and its arbitrary rules strike.
So you come to a decision.
A decision that leads you in front of the biggest mansion in the entire Capitol. President Coriolanus Snow’s house. You suck in a wide lungful, quelling a shudder at the sight of the blue-clad peacekeepers lining the walls.
You stride towards the massive entrance gates. White roses twine around the wrought iron, their thorns seeming as sharp as knives. 
You gather your nerves and lift a tremulous hand towards the intercom.
Before you can even state your matter, a disembodied, feminine voice rises from the device.
“Do you have an appointment?” the woman asks stiffly.
Hasty words pour out of you. “No, but I just need a minute-”
“President Snow doesn’t accept any visitors,” she responds harshly.
Your heart sinks. Of course he doesn’t. It was naive of you to cling to the illusory hope he’d see you anyway. Just for one dinner he likely forgot about. He’s the president. There are crucial matters that perpetually call for his attention. A myriad of things bigger and more important than a single Capitol citizen’s rent issues.
Still, you elect to try again, remembering the imminent deadline.
“Please,” you beg. “It’s very important.”
A distorted sigh ripples from the intercom.
“If you do not leave the premises, we will be compelled to remove you from the property, miss.”
One of the peacekeepers posted at the gates looks straight at you, his hand tightening over the rear of his machine gun. A wave of ice spreads through your veins.
You swallow and step back, accepting your defeat. Burning with shame, you start walking away from the mansion.
But you’re hardly a feet away, as the same voice from before erupts again, much softer this time. 
“My apologies, miss. I didn’t realize you were a close friend of President Snow.”
Your jaw hangs slack as you turn.
A woman with long dark hair appears through the open gates.
“Please, follow me,” she says as she approaches you. “The president will see you right away.”
Still steeped in utter shock, you acquiesce. You trail behind her. You can’t help but allow your eyes to wander as the woman escorts you through a dizzying series of hallways. While the front of the mansion is impressive with its lavish gardens and striking architecture, the inside is just as grandiose. You feel small as your gaze rests on all the sculptures and paintings decorating every corner of the house. Everywhere you look, there is something beautiful and eye-catching. The entire house is like a museum, meant to be admired rather than lived in.
Eventually the woman halts in front of a mahogany door. She tugs on the brass handles and stands to the side, making room for you to walk in. You mumble ‘thank you’ under your breath as you stumble inside the office.
President Snow’s blue eyes crinkle when they rest on you.
“Hello, dove. Why don’t you have a seat?” he offers, pointing at the chair before his desk. 
Licking your lips, you do as he says. Despite the softness of the plush upholstery you sit on, your nerves flare up. You had an entire speech ready, one you practiced on the way here. 
But now that you’re here, his intense focus pinned on you, you’re at a loss. 
Shaky words trickle out of your mouth.
“President Snow. I know you must be so busy…”
“Nonsense,” he interrupts, leaning back in his leather chair. “I always find time for my friends.”
You swallow the lump in your throat.
“T-That’s a relief to hear,” you stammer.
A maid brings a kettle and biscuits on a silver platter. 
“Tea?” Snow asks as he picks up the kettle.
“No, thank you.”
As Snow pours himself a cup, you ponder your next words. You don’t want to seem greedy but you can’t think of an elegant way to state your purpose.
So you settle for the truth.
“I came because…my husband and I are in a bit of trouble.”
Snow scrutinizes you for a while. Your stomach tightens. 
He then gives a sluggish nod, bending forwards as his fingers lace together.
“Do tell me everything, dove.”
You do exactly that. Snow is silent as your trembling voice fills his office. No word leaves his mouth while he listens. You don’t skip out a single detail, making a point to emphasize what consequences could befall upon you and your husband should you fail to meet the deadline. 
When you’re done, he sips from his tea cup and hums, “How unfortunate.”
“Can’t it be undone? I mean, couldn’t you…”
He chuckles along the porcelain rim of his cup. “I’m not responsible for every law and charter. I approve them, of course, but there are committees, councils. Each law serves the betterment of Panem as a whole. I can’t undo what has been done. I mean, how would this look to the rest of the Capitol? Like I have a different set of rules for my friends? I have to look impartial.” Heaving out a deep sigh, he sets his cup down.  “Apologies, dove, my hands are tied.”
The world seems to collapse around you. Your stomach sinks.
You surmise it was too big an ask, even for the President of Panem. You can’t expect special treatment. It was silly of you to even come hoping for anything resembling that.
You were foolish. Now you must collect the pathetic remnants of your dignity and take your leave.
Gulping down the tears pressing at the back of your eyes, you nod. 
“I’m sorry I asked,” you croak, already beginning to rise from your chair.
His deep lilt pauses your motion.
“But I suppose…there could be a solution. An alternative.”
Your brow furrows as you drop back on the chair.
“An alternative?”
“I could cover the difference.”
Your mouth nearly hits the floor. Snow using his own funds to help? It could be the very miracle you and your husband waited for. You would have to pay him back over time, of course. But for now, it would allow you and Henry to keep the apartment.
It’s a godsend.
“You would do that for us?” you mutter, shock stealing your air.
His reply is nonchalant. “Yes. I’d simply file it under my own personal investments.” Slanting his head sideways, he studies you. “I’d just ask for a small favor in exchange.”
“A favor?”
You wonder what kind of favor you could do for someone like Coriolanus Snow, the man who has everything and more. Gaping at him, you wait for him to elaborate.
He leans forward, crossing his arms over his desk.
“It’s not much but it would mean the world to me. The house needs some upkeep. Just a few light chores here and there. No cleaning, of course; I have an entire staff in charge of that. But the garden needs tending.” His inflection softens as he takes you in. “A home cooked meal every now and then would be nice, and I might sometimes ask you to join me for tea and conversation…” Mirth sways in his cerulean orbs. “As dreadful as that may sound.”
You move your head in assent.
“I think I can do that. But w-why me?”
He gives a long exhale, resting his jaw in his hand.
“Honestly dove? You’d be the one doing me a favor. All day, I’m surrounded by vultures.” Snow rolls his eyes skyward. “Sycophants who placate me with false smiles and honeyed lies.” His tone warms when his gaze falls back on you. “I simply wish to return home to someone genuine, someone who would never lie to me. And you wouldn’t, would you?”
“W-What?”
“Lie to me.”
Your skin heats under his scrutiny. 
Trying not to squirm, you sputter, “Never, sir.”
“Music to my ears,” the young president croons.
It’s not sounding like more work than what you do at home. You can already hear Henry’s discontent echoing in your head. You won’t have as much time for him. That too will be yet another adjustment.
But what other option is there? Even the family of four above yours had to move, unable to keep up with the sudden rent increase. You and Henry could be next.
“I…W-When do I start?”
The corners of Snow’s lips tug upwards.
“How does tomorrow sound?”
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“You’re going to work for him?”
Henry’s displeasure ripples through you. You twine your hands and cast him an apologetic look. He despises that you went behind his back; you know that. But Henry ran himself ragged trying to come up with a solution. You didn’t want him to carry the burden on his own. That is not what a marriage is.
“He needs a housekeeper, of sorts. And he paid this month’s rent and the next upfront.”
Henry’s brows crumple. “Still, that’s…” Shoulders sagging, he crashes onto the sofa. The built-up exhaustion of the last few days seems to return all at once. You know he hasn’t slept a wink this whole week. Heart squeezing, you join his side and cradle his hand in your lap. Henry’s voice is dripping with shame and regret. “The entire reason I moved us here is so you never have to want for anything, so you wouldn’t have to work or suffer another day in this life.” His head dips. “I failed you.”
You cup his face, plunging your eyes into his.
“You didn’t fail me. And I won’t suffer. Sometimes life throws you lemons and you just have to squeeze those suckers dry.”
A hollow chuckle slips through his lips.
You run your thumbs over his growing beard.
"Listen, I know this wasn’t in our plans, but it’s just for now. In time, we’ll figure something out but I have to do this.” You lean your forehead against his. “For us.”
“Okay,” he belatedly concedes. He pulls your hands to his chest, kissing your knuckles.
“Just come home when you’re done.”
“I will,” you promise. 
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The first day slogs forth without a hitch. A car picks you up in the morning and drops you off at President Snow’s estate. The dark-haired woman from before welcomes you, introduces you to the staff and walks you through your duties. You learn her name is Ariadne. 
You spend most of the day busy in the garden and library. Snow’s garden of roses might be one of the hidden treasures of Panem. Taking care of it is a pleasure and you even give yourself some minutes to bask in the sun’s warmth. 
The library shelves need dusting and you tend to this task as well, humming familiar tunes to yourself while working. It is no harm if no one is around to hear you sing. 
You don’t get bored as there’s always a task requiring your attention in the massive house. 
When stars begin to dust the darkening sky, you rush to the kitchen. You get started on dinner. Staff members give you space to work and you’re grateful. You don’t like being ogled while you cook. You marvel at the gold, high-end appliances as you knead your dough. The kitchen is pristine, like everything else in the house. You settle for something simple, hearty and warm. There is no point in pretending you’re some fancy chef when you’re not. If it’s what Snow desired, he’d have hired one. There’s a plethora of them in the Capitol for him to choose from after all. And they’d all line up outside his house in a heartbeat if he requested it.
You stand nervous, hands folded in your lap as the meal you prepared is brought out onto silver plates. You spent hours on it. Hopefully he likes it.
“This smells like heaven,” Snow purrs.
He then points at the chair next to his on the long table.
“Have a seat.”
Your eyes bulge. Not only are you stunned by his request, as there are so many other chairs on the gigantic dinner table, but you were hoping to return home to Henry once dinner was served.
 “Oh, I thought…”
He smiles at you. “I hate dining alone.”
You consider arguing. But as you remember all that you owe him, your mouth squeezes shut. You give a meek nod and drag your feet to the chair.
“Of course.”
You pick up your knife and fork…one of the knives and forks. You choose at random, unsure what purpose each of the cutlery items serves.
A smile waltzes upon Snow’s lips as he watches you. Shame pools in your gut. You feel like you’re making a fool of yourself.
He takes a bite of food and hums low in his throat, his eyes closing.
“Your cooking never fails to amaze, dove,” he lauds. Blue eyes search your face. “Are you hiding other talents from me?”
Your eyes lock onto your napkin, following the swirl of the flower patterns sewn in the corners. “I don’t think so,” you mumble.
Dinner continues in silence, only occasionally shattered by Snow’s sounds of delight and words of praise. Your own bites are small. While you’re glad it turned out the way you wanted, you’d rather save your appetite for home.
When a maid brings tea after the meal, Snow raises a dismissive hand.
“We’ll have tea and cakes in the study,” he announces.
Your face scrunches. “But it’s getting late. I should-”
“I must insist,” he interrupts. He rises from his seat and offers you his outstretched hand. 
His smile broadens.
“You would rob me of your company so swiftly, dove? How cruel of you.”
Reluctantly, you accept the hand he gives you. He helps you out of your chair and motions at you to follow him.
The both of you end up in his study, sitting by the fire. Tea is placed on the small table between you. Coriolanus takes a slow sip while you fiddle with your hands.
His cerulean gaze locks with yours.
“That song you were humming earlier.”
Your chest seizes.
The loud thudding of your heart fills your ears. You swallow thickly. 
“A song?”
“Yes,” he says absently, adding another spoonful of sugar to his cup. He gives a small stir before bringing it to his lips again. “I heard it as I walked by the library.”
You try not to let your panic show, cloaking yourself in false nonchalance. You thought you were discreet, quiet almost.
“Ah, that. It’s nothing,” you elude.
“No, it was lovely. You have the voice of an angel.” 
The compliment leaves you speechless.
But his next words tie your stomach in knots.
“I want to hear it again.”
“I don’t really…perform for audiences.”
“You mean since you left the Covey?”
Mouth agape, you stare at him. How did he find out? You don’t remember ever bringing it up. In fact, you wouldn’t. You expend great effort to hide your past on a daily basis.
Your reaction draws a snort from him. Amusement bounces in his orbs.
“Come on, dove, that accent…It might fool others but not me.”
“I don’t sing anymore,” you state firmly. 
Even if you did, you wouldn’t do it for Coriolanus Snow. Not of your own free will.
He smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. His inflection becomes sharp, all softness evanescing. “Remember when I told you that I hated lies?” His pointed gaze sends chills through your body. “Sing for me, dove.”
Your mouth goes dry as sand. 
You understand his words for what they are. An order from your president. A strange order…but an order nonetheless.
You don’t get to refuse. You’re to sing for him, whether it pleases you or not.
Like a bird in a cage.
So you do it. Your lips fall open and clear, soft notes rise out of you. A traditional song your mother taught you. It tells the story of a girl who meets a boy with ocean eyes, how she drowns in them but the fall is like rising to heaven. 
As your voice fills his office, Snow’s scorching gaze doesn’t leave you.
When the song is done, he doesn’t applaud or praise you.
Instead, his eyes bear into you for what feels like an eternity. You try not to move, though your heart thunders in your chest. 
“See, was that so hard?” he asks, that cocky smile still adorning his lips. You don’t reply, your throat ablaze. It felt as if you didn’t belong to yourself just then. And it terrifies you. He slides your untouched cup towards you. “Drink your tea before it gets cold. Then, you can go home.”
Without a protest, you lift the cup to your mouth. One measly cup of tea and you’ll get to go home. Then this uncomfortable evening can end. Finally.
But as the liquid trickles inside your mouth, tendrils of darkness lurk in your vision. Your body gets heavier. So heavy you can’t hold the cup anymore, or even yourself. The porcelain dish vanishes from your hands. You sag into your chair.
Progressively, colors dim around you. 
Then sleep drags you down into a rabbit hole of utter oblivion. And all is blackness.
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Softness like you’ve never felt before greets you when you awake. Like being embraced by fluffy clouds. For a while, you linger in the comfortable sensation, humming against the plush blankets. But as your eyes land on the thin slice of sunlight spilling from the window, you unleash an audible gasp. 
You bolt in a sitting position. 
Your eyes widen as you find Ariadne observing you between the velvet curtains at the end of the bed.
Gripping the side of your head, you glance at your surroundings. Clearly, you’re in a room. But how did you wind up here? No matter how hard you try, you can’t summon a single memory from last night.
“Ariadne? What happened?” 
She circles the bed to take a seat next to you. Her gentle tone alleviates your rising panic.
“You fell asleep,” she explains. “Master Snow brought you here so you can get some proper rest.” 
You sigh. It does make sense. Though you can’t stamp out the trickle of embarrassment sitting inside you with that knowledge. You dozed off on the job, on your first day. Hopefully, Snow isn’t too offended. 
“I must have been more tired than I thought,” you mutter, looking down.
“He’s gone now; he had urgent business at the Justice Building. But he insisted you eat a proper meal before you go.” She points at the golden food cart near the bed, every tray brimming with pastries, fruits, meats and cheeses. Way more than you could eat in a single meal.
The kind of decadent abundance the Capitol likes to indulge in. 
You politely decline. 
“I can’t…I have to return to my husband. He must be worried sick.”
Ariadne puts a hand on your arm.
“Word has been sent to him that you were simply tending to Master Snow’s needs last night.”
You purse your lips. It’s not ideal but at least he knows you were working. 
“Good,” you reply, nodding.
You yank the blanket off your body, determined to stand up and leave. But as soon as you’re on your feet, you crash back down on the bed, a strange ache awakening in your limbs.
Your forehead creases. You hug your stomach, a vicious cramp creeping there too.
Ariadne’s immediately at your side, placing her hands over your arms.
“Take it easy, miss,” she warns. “You exerted yourself a great deal yesterday.” She beams brightly. “In fact, Master Snow has given you a few days off. He was very satisfied with your work and expects you in three days’ time.”
Your brows rise. “Oh, that’s very generous.”
Her grin expands.
“He is exceedingly pleased with your performance.”
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Over the next few weeks, Snow keeps summoning you sporadically. The days you work for him are pretty much the same. You attend to your daily tasks, you cook for him and then the two of you have tea in his study. He has you sing for him sometimes. You’ve learnt to swallow your feelings and perform according to his whim. You don’t even sing to yourself anymore, the exultation you drew from it all but gone. It was a way to stay connected to your Covey roots, to keep your family close to your heart. Now you can’t do it without his icy gaze invading your thoughts.
You often end up incredibly tired on those days, your body aching and sore for hours afterwards. You never imagined working for Coriolanus Snow would drain you so much. Falling asleep in his house even turns into a regular occurrence, happening almost every time you show up for work.
Naturally, Henry isn’t thrilled with that. Every time you come back home, too tired to wait on him hand and foot like you used to, his displeasure grows.
But he’s also yet to find a way to fix the issue, so the two of you must keep working. You’ve already sold everything that you could, clothes, any belonging of slight value. 
The gap is still too vast. 
And the city won’t allow you to apply for another place to live, claiming the waitlist is already sky-high.
Though you resent it, Coriolanus Snow is your only hope.
“You’re not in charge of dinner tonight,” Ariadne announces one night as you fire the stove.
You turn the burners off, your eyes rounding.
“I’m not?” 
A bright smile blooms on the brunette’s face.
“Master Snow is inviting you to dine with him as his guest, to express gratitude for your outstanding work.”
Your lips part in surprise. In the many weeks you’ve worked for President Snow, this has never happened. You have shared meals, of course, but you’ve never received such a formal invitation.
You suppose it’s all a game to Snow, and he simply changes the rules whenever he feels it.
She astonishes you further when she urges you to follow her to one of the guest bedrooms.
Utter dismay fills you.
A white dress lies atop the bed. The sleeveless evening gown looks more expensive than any dress you’ve ever laid eyes on. The delicate white silk flares at the waist, the gigantic, fluffy layered skirt making your head spin already. You imagine how hard it'd be to move in such a dress. Though you surmise it won’t be too much of a concern as you only need to sit through dinner with it.
“Master Snow expects you to wear this tonight,” Ariadne chimes.
She helps you slip on the dress, a task you undoubtedly would have struggled to complete on your own, the many layers of tulle, silk and lace of the huge skirt alone their own challenge.
Eventually, you’re dressed. 
She escorts you to the dinner room. Curious eyes dart about the halls, noting their unusual emptiness. Not a single footman, maid or Avox in sight. 
You’re alone.
“The house is very quiet,” you point out.
Ariadne beams at you from above her shoulder.
“The entire staff’s been sent home. Master Snow wants to wait on you himself tonight.”
Your stomach knots, a foreboding feeling swelling within you.
Still, you glide forward. It’s a little late to turn back.
When you enter the diner room, Snow’s face lights up. He makes his way to you. As usual, he’s dashing, his platinum blonde locks neatly combed back and his crimson suit highlighting his tall frame.
His gaze twinkles as he drinks you in. 
“You’re a vision, dove.” He lifts your hand and brushes his lips over your knuckles. His eyes slam into yours. Time seems to hang still for a few seconds. “As I know you would be.”
Keeping your hand in his, he escorts you to your seat. He pulls your chair for you and you fumble with your skirt a little before finding a comfortable way to sit. 
“So…no maids today?” you say lightly. 
His lips slant. He removes the lid off one of the pots. The mouthwatering smell instantly reaches you. 
“I thought it’d be nicer to enjoy a quiet, private dinner together, as a way to celebrate.”
Your face contorts into a puzzled expression. 
“Celebrate?”
“Your last day as my housekeeper,” he replies cheerfully.
Your heart misses a beat. Is he firing you?
You attempt to tamp down the quake in your voice. You fail miserably.
“Really?”
He gauges you and his smile grows.
“Yes. In fact, you and your husband will never have to worry about rent anymore. Him  especially. Everything’s settled.”
An audible exhale slips through your mouth. 
“This is…I don’t know what to say.”
“You can say thank you.”
“Thank you, President Snow.”
His laugh resonates in the near empty dining room.
“Please, call me Coriolanus.” He ladles soup onto your plate before bending close. You tense as his warm breath ghosts over your temple. “We’re quite…close now, aren’t we, dove?”
You gulp down the lump in your throat.
“I suppose we are…Coriolanus.”
You wince. Uttering his name feels wrong, forbidden almost.
Satisfaction doesn’t part from his handsome features as he regains his seat. He gestures for you to start eating. You feel a bit self-conscious as he observes you intently. 
Still, you do as he heeds, not needing to be told twice. 
The quicker you eat, the quicker you’ll get to be home and out of the uncomfortable dress. 
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You groan as your lids flutter, a blurry shape rocking back and forth in your vision. Fatigue tugs at your heavy limbs as you stir. Your forehead scrunches. Your body’s hot, like a furnace, like you’re burning from the inside out. Tingles spark somewhere in you and you keen sharply, leaning into the sensation. Feverish whispers surround you, words you don’t comprehend in your daze.
The pull and tear. The pleasure mingling with the pain. You’re in a strange dream, maybe a nightmare.
Deep-chested grunts land in your ears. You awake further. It’s a voice you recognize, from somewhere…but not like this. Never like this. Something’s wong. Your forehead wrinkles. Something’s wrong but you’re so tired. So so tired. Your mind’s like cotton. Your limbs are as rocks.
As your lids sag, something slams into you. Fast, hard and vicious.
Your heart bounces. Your eyes snap open.
Your stomach drops.
A sinister smile you know too well by now welcomes you.
“Hello, dove. Awake, finally,” Snow whispers, his hips snapping into yours. Your breath catches as his cock grazes against your sweet spots. You clench around him and he chuckles darkly. “That angle always does it for you.” Smugness oozes off his hoarse timbre.
You look up at him. Sweat dots his brow, his tousled blonde locks clinging to his forehead. His blue eyes are cloudy with lust. His white shirt is half open, revealing a glimpse of the bare, glistening muscles underneath.
And as your gaze travels lower, horror flares inside you.
You gape with wide eyes as his veiny length disappears inside you. Again and again. The fluffy white shirt is bunched around your waist, your panties torn, exposing your lower body to President Snow’s lewd scrutiny entirely. His large hands dig into your hips, trailing crescent bruises in the shape of his fingernails.
Your shocked gaze finds his.
His smile expands.
“P-President Snow, what are you doing?” 
You know it’s a stupid question…but you have to make sense of this. Because none of this can be real. Maybe it’s a nightmare and you’re still sleeping.
You gasp as he pushes you into the mattress, piledriving into you at an angle that has you seeing stars.
“Taking what’s mine, of course,” he says matter-of-factly, hooking his arm under your thigh.
He lifts you and spreads you even more. His darkened gaze follows the motion of his cock as he pounds into you, an insatiable look twisting his handsome features. 
Reaching between your tangled bodies, he pinches your tender heap of nerves. He rubs against it, teasing it with maddening circles until your legs quake. You come apart beneath him, crying out as your back arches against the soft sheets.
“Please, stop,” you whimper, tears gathering in your eyes.
Snow’s pace quickens. Ragged moans tear from your throat. Your vision flickers.
He bends over you to lick one of your tears, humming in satisfaction at the taste. 
His lips drag against yours as he asks, “Is it truly what you want? Because it’s kind of hard to tell the way your pussy hugs my cock.” His mouth curves upward against your cheek. “Like it does every time.”
A wave of ice spreads through you. 
Every time? Realization hits you, knife-like as it pierces through the veil of denial. 
Every time…
The pieces fall into place as you remember all those times you fell asleep, unable to recall how you ended up in bed. Tired, confused…sore.
A shudder shoots through your frame.
You twist your body as panic seizes you.
Coriolanus growls when you clamber away from him, heading for the edge of the bed. You curse the pesky gown and the way it hinders your movements.
He yanks you back with ease, gripping the back of your head and shoving you down into the mattress.
Lips graze your earshell as he snarls, “Where are you going? We’re not done. We have to make sure you carry the next Snow heir.” In one stroke, he sinks into you from behind. You choke on your breath, the pain snatching your air. With one hand cinched around the back of your neck, he starts rutting into you. Your bruised folds ache at the blunt invasion. Still, your core clings to him in a way that stirs shame in your gut. “Although after all these times…” You hear the smile in his conceited inflection “It’s a given, isn’t it?”
Your eyes swell with tears. Your lips part in a silent scream. The sick song of flesh against flesh fills the room, mingling with his feral moans. 
Each time your walls tighten around him, bile rises up your throat. 
“What have you done to me?” you sob against the drenched silk sheets.
“Oh, I think you know,” he purrs. His warm breath fans over your scalp. “You can feel it, can’t you? How well your body knows me now, dove.”
His hips stutter, his thrusts getting sloppier. His cock twitches inside you. As warmth trickles alongside your walls, you feel sick again. He remains nestled inside you a while, panting above you and shoving the excess back in as you remain still.
As you feel his digits poke and prod, a chill runs through you. 
You can’t let him touch you again.
You keel over the edge of the bed, heading straight towards the floor. Pain ripples through your knees as they hit the carpet. You’re forced to ignore the crack resounding through your bones, awkwardly getting to your feet and dashing to the wooden swing doors.
Coriolanus’ wicked laugh echoes behind you. 
“Oh, dove, if you wanted to play hide and seek, all you needed to do was to ask,” he taunts.
Terror grips your throat. You ignore it alongside everything else. Alongside the pain, alongside the uncertainty, alongside the fact that you can still feel him inside you. Like you never left the bed. Like you’re still caged in his embrace.
Your legs carry you, barefoot and panicked, as you run through the palatial hallways as fast as the bothersome white dress will allow.
The president’s deep voice bounces against the ornate walls.
“Ready or not, here I come, my darling.”
The blood rushes to your feet. Your head spins and your feet tangle. You trip. Immediately, you gather yourself. You lift the skirt and dive hastily towards the living room. You duck behind a sofa. 
It’s a pathetic place to hide; you know it. But the lavish mansion is nothing but open spaces doused in sunlight. 
There is nowhere to hide.
The clamor of your heart is deafening in your ears as you hear objects crash to the floor a few feet away from you. Hand over your mouth to keep every sound in, you jerk every time the racket grows on the other side of the sofa. 
His frustration coats the air.
“Come out, come out wherever you are, dove,” he calls, his tone icier than before.
You freeze, holding your breath and wishing he doesn’t think to look where you are.
The minutes pass, agonizingly slow. The flimsy hope that he may have left even begins to bloom inside you.
Hot air suddenly breezes over your nape.
“Found you.” 
Your heart leaps to your throat. You go still. Coriolanus hauls you from the floor, half-carrying you and half-lugging you across the living room. You try to bite and claw any part of him you can reach but his hand locks around your throat.
He slams you harshly against a wall. Your head rings, the lines of his face momentarily doubling in your vision. You bite his hand. Cursing under his breath, he bangs your head against the wall again. You go limp.
Through your hazy sight, you note the scarlet trail streaking the back of his hand. You drew blood. Even if you’re lost, you bask in the ephemeral second of victory.
He carries your unmoving form the rest of the way back to his bedroom. You loathe yourself for your stillness. You want to put up a fight. You want to claw. You want to bite. You want to kill him with your bare hands. 
But all you can do is simmer in helplessness as he brings you right back to the very place you tried to escape.
He gently releases you on the bed then climbs over you. Goosebumps erect on your flesh as he caresses the side of your face, a strangely fond gesture considering everything he put you through.
“Please,” you mumble weakly. “You can have anyone you want. I have a husband.”
His face contorts into an expression of pure mockery, as if what you said was beyond ludicrous.
“I don’t want just anyone.” He lifts your chin, scorching blue gaze diving into yours. “I want you.”
“As for your husband…” His voice trails off as he traces your trembling bottom lip with his thumb. A crooked smirk drags his lips skyward. He leans over you to whisper, “Well I did say he’ll never have to worry about rent ever again, didn’t I?”
Your heart sinks. You can’t believe you trusted Coriolanus Snow. A foolish mistake. A dangerous mistake. One you’re now paying dearly. He not only trapped you…he also hurt Henry.
All because of you.
You will never forgive yourself.
“What did you do to him?” you ask, anger and heartbreak making your voice wobble.
A chill-inducing glint dances in his orbs.
“I haven’t done anything.” He cocks his head. “Rebels are criminals of the state and shall be sentenced as such.”
The world collapses around you.
A chasm of despair swallows you whole as quiet tears stream down your face.
As sobs shake your frame, President Snow plants soft kisses on your wet cheeks. You feel him grow hard against your belly as he hums, as if the taste of your hopelessness was ambrosia to him. Heavenly sweet.
He cups your face.
“Do not fret, dove. I’ll make sure you don’t miss a second of his execution.” The emptiness of his blue eyes staggers you, their depths as icy as a frozen lake. “It’s important for all citizens of Panem to learn from watching.”
The expression on his face turns downright diabolical. His knuckles sweep over the apple of your cheek.
“And I want you to learn as you watch the light go out in his eyes, dove, that this was inevitable, that I always win.”
His tone softens as his hands drag over your hips.
“I wonder how many children you’ll give me. Will they all sing as pretty as you?” The hurried rustle of his pants as he frees his cock freezes your blood. He bites his lip, lust already misting his gaze as he prods impatiently at your entrance.
“I suppose we’ll just have to find out,” he croons.
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ambrosiagourmet · 3 months
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Little details from Falin's (final) resurrection that I love:
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when they say that they will need to rebuild her lower body, they seem to mean it pretty literally. There are scalpels and other surgical instruments on the table nearby, and that part is left to the elves to lead due to the difficulty. I wonder what kind of mix of magic and physical skill is needed to repair and recreate a body like that.
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Both Laios and Marcille contribute mana to help bring her back...
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but we don't get to hear exactly what they say. Those words are left for them and them alone.
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During Falin's meal, the little dragon is hungry too...
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so she shares her meal with it.
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Though Falin's dress is whole when we first see it, after she consumes the dragon meal, the bottom of it begins to fray in a way that resembles the veins we see being reconstructed with her body while she eats.
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three just in this set of panels - the bowl is there because she's been sleeping for some time (days?? weeks???) and they have been feeding her.
Marcille chewing on her sleeve while she sleeps.
And the fact that Izutsumi was holding vigil right alongside the rest of them.
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Laios just talking to & then hugging Falin right over Marcille.
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Speaking of the wait - how long was it? They'd almost given up?? They must have waited so long for her to wake up, sleeping right next to her bed the whole time.
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The cuddle pile..... Falin looks so (lovingly) annoyed bless her.
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This absolutely brutally dark joke that literally only could have come from Chilchuck. Holy shit buddy ^^;;
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Somewhat relatedly, Senshi making sure to mention the curry that they used to lure in & kill her. Note Marcille's face in the background.
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Izutsumi having waited there the whole time, but still being shy. Plus how she hides behind Laios. Truly the cat of all cat girls.
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This line from Marcille kind of seems like its her being overly protective of Falin (as she was after the first resurrection), until you realize that...
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It's probably more because she knows there is a big crowd outside and Falin is still in a nightgown.
Other small details in this part:
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Embarrassed Shuro averting his gaze, while Kabru keeps trying to snoop even after Marcille pulls Falin back inside (snoopy Namari too, though she's a little more justified than him)
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Senshi & Chilchuk go off together to make food, while Izutsumi (grumpily) accepts a proper introduction.
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Wherever they got this outfit & cloak for Falin, they also seem to have shared similar ones ones with...
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Laios, Chilchuck, and Yaad. I think its cute that they look like they either bought a bunch of similar cloaks, or were provided them as gifts.
And, of course,
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This smile C:
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imaginealpha · 1 year
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Please think about why you don’t consider BAME British people or immigrants to be ‘really’ British, and why I might have included those food cultures on purpose.
Hey, I didn't mean to imply that they're not British. I am Indian myself, and I always believed that that the food had Indian roots, not European roots. The whole "thin ice" comment was mainly a joke based on my surprise, but I'm sorry if it offended anyone.
#i suppose it's along the same lines as me considering tex mex as having roots in mexican food despite not being exactly mexican ykno?#like yeah i can understand if tikka masala originated in britain then technically it is british#which is why after googling i was like 'ok yeah i guess'#but not being british means it definitely caught me by surprise when i found out it's quite popular there#actually I've been thinking about this and to add on:#define british food to me pls bc i don't actually know what is considered culturally british#if i were to make a dish inspired by indian cuisine i would market it here as indian food not american food#but america is a hodge podge of cultures and very few things are actually considered culturally american in this country#i had thought even in britain tikka masala would be considered indian food of a sort because it is heavily inspired by indian cultural food#just like we have the separation of chinese food indian food mexican food italian food french food etc. here#and even in some places there is separation between cultural international foods and 'american' international foods#like I've been to asian restaurants that label cultural foods on their menu vs for example 'american chinese food'#so to me tikka masala would be 'british indian food' and not solely british food because the indian part is still important there#anyways this became a bit of a ramble but at the end of the day#i understand that there is rampant anti-immigrant sentiment going around that is important to combat#but please don't drop in my inbox acting like i am immediately racist for having a modicum of disbelief#i really did not appreciate waking up to what felt like an attack on a monday morning#im sure you meant well and are probably tired of seeing actual racism in your notes#and as a child of immigrants i appreciate you sticking up for immigrants#esp since you may be one yourself idk#just please keep in mind that people do have different experiences and perspectives that aren't characterized the same as yours#because it did come off a little abrasive
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