#srs reflecting rn n for the longest time i think i genuinely rlly struggled w social anxiety. still do to an extent but it was sm worse

[noxtivagus]

a night will never not be complete without me rambling abt ffxiv huh

#🌙.rambles #[ ffxiv. ] #i'm so happy i found smth like ffxiv for me n apollo. later in 2023 will be the third year of playing. which is a bit hard to believe #i'm so soft for the drk quests i did enjoy it in english or wtvr but reading those fanmade jpn translations rlly warms my heart even more #n then. uwahh listening to shb osts n other vg stuff rn n masquerade at this specific point just #eulmore ost means a lot to me i rlly love that kind of vibe n then. i have a lot of fond memories in that place. #w sm friends back on twintania n 5.5 days hehe. #i am srs rambling again but i just rlly like talking to myself ok pls don't mind me uhhhh #ffxiv helped keep me grounded yes it rlly helped me through hard times. w the world in it n then. the stories that helped me so much #n the music :<< n the charas mean so much to me n then. i just appreciate the game so much. it means a lot to me #thinking abt it n i've really never been good at friendships. i rlly do want to do better bcs i value them so much but hdfjalkfsjda T_T #i rmb fucking up smth late 2020 n then first half or so of 2021 i only interacted w my family n school ppl i think n. ppl in ffxiv #srs reflecting rn n for the longest time i think i genuinely rlly struggled w social anxiety. still do to an extent but it was sm worse #twintania n my fc then changed my life fr they helped me n i don't think i ever rlly directly thanked them but yh. #n then. those social interactions helped me later that year reconnecting w my longtime irl friends that i barely talked to for those past #years bcs of the pandemic n then earlier 2022 w making new friends that weren't online friends for the first time in so long #n then being more connected w my reality again w all that yes n then making more online friends. not a lot i'm still v shy but <3 #idk i know i rlly say a lot of the same things often n i write a Lot in tags n ramble sm n i genuinelly will be embarrassed if ppl actually #read this but pls i just like talking to myself i don't do it for attention T_T but I SHOULD REALLY FIX THESE STUFF UP #i think i've just been rambling for the past hour . idk i just really love n appreciate a lot of stuff in life n there's no end to what i #cld just write about like this to myself. n i write even more in my notes oh dear #i seriously look forward to so much this year i'm going to put my regrets behind me n just look towards doing the future #the best i can do is just be kind to myself n do what i can n do what i love uwahh #ok genuinely i still do feel rather stressed n anxious n i'm pretty sure i just wrote that earlier but uh my mind is a mess at this hour #i should not be on tumblr past midnight or when i'm sleepy . i've really made a habit of writing so much in tags #school starts like tmrrw now n thankfully my sleep got mostly fixed. i have so much more i want to do but i'll make sure to #take care of my health at least. for the past 2 weeks now i think i usually sleep around midnight (earlier typically) n never later than 3 #I'M HAPPY W THAT sleeping better rlly improved a lot but it's so hard to start making that change when. Yeah but here i am now <3 #that said though i'm gna stop. rambling now i wna be a bit more productive before i sleep but gn in advance ><