#spooker's living pictures | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

anhed-nia · 6 months

Text

BLOGTOBER 10/8-9/2023: HELL HOUSE LLC, MONSTER INSIDE: AMERICA'S MOST EXTREME HAUNTED HOUSE

*I'm fudging the dates a bit here just so I can combine movies with like-themes. MONSTER INSIDE wasn't actually out until 10/12, but what can I say, October was a beast and this is the least organized Blogtober has ever been!

Also, I'm kind of fudging my genre constraints. Every year I consider logging one honorary horror movie--something that wasn't intended to horrify but that definitely does, like certain romantic comedies whose ideals are so inhuman that any thinking, feeling person should object to them. So one of these reviews is for a documentary, which I don't really think should be considered a horror film, but it's relevant to my Halloweeny interests, so it stays in the picture.

I don't have very much to say about this movie except that it drives me fucking crazy. On so many levels I really kind of hate it; I hate all the characters, I hate the tired old /scary clown/ thing, I find the story totally predictable, and I just object to having to spend THAT MUCH time with douchebags saying douchey things to one another. But what I hate about HELL HOUSE LLC more than anything else is that I find it really scary! I don't want to have to give it the credit. And I don't think it should be neurologically possible for me to be sighing and cussing and rolling my eyes through most of a movie--and then to be suddenly, uncomfortably frightened through some of the actual scenes of horror. I almost wonder if I should even be admitting how much this scared me, but it's worth surfacing movies that affect you against your better judgment and taste, I think.

That said, I'm also a reasonably sensitive viewer. People who are not interested in horror media (and even some who ARE, unfortunately) have this misconception that the genre is for desensitized assholes, and my response to that is always just to ask: If I didn't react to what I saw in horror movies, then why would I watch them? Wouldn't I gravitate toward something else that I DO react to? Obviously not everyone is like me, but the assumption that the average horror fan doesn't experience appropriate feelings of horror is pretty ridiculous. I often think about when I first saw Lucio Fulci's CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD; I was huddled under a blanket watching the infamous guts-barfing scene through my fingers, when my super normie yuppie roommate shouted to me, "WHAT IS THAT NOISE?" I cried out "DON'T COME IN HERE!" and she replied, "ONE OF THESE DAYS YOU'RE GONNA SEE SOMEBODY'S HEAD GET CHOPPED OFF AND YOU'RE JUST GONNA LAUGH!" I have no idea what would make her think that that would happen, or that laughter would be my reaction. Honestly I thought she was a pretty desensitized, disturbing sort of person; she was a 24 year old life insurance salesman who scanned the obituaries for funerals where she'd go prey on the bereaved graveside ("It just makes me feel so good to help people!"). But in general, I think I'm more sensitive than the average person, with a bigger imagination for what life can threaten you with. I won't go in a haunted house attraction, actually. I went in one when I was about 11, and I regretted it almost immediately. I mean, when I go to a party, I'm usually afraid I'm going to have to endure the horror of unwanted hugs, so you can imagine how I'd feel if I go to a place where people are pretending they're going to kill me. I enjoy the idea of haunt attractions, I think it's a cool sort of folk art, but I'd rather hear about it than experience it.

So in the name of all that, I really appreciate documentaries about haunts, which allow me to enjoy this art form from the safety of the other side of a screen. There's a really good one from New Zealand called SPOOKERS, which is about a haunt that occupies an old, storied mental institution--so there are some folks who feel like this use of the location is hurtful and exploitative, while at the same time, the haunt itself is a center of gravity for local misfits who have found themselves and their chosen family by working there. It's complicated and moving, and I strongly recommend it. There is also the pretty-good HAUNTERS: THE ART OF THE SCARE, which examines the history of haunted house attractions, including the emerging trend of "haunts" that are more like torture dungeons that continue to stretch the limits of what a person can even consent to legally. If you're up to date on this topic, you may have guessed that Russ McKamey is one of the main subjects of that movie. He has been made more famous, or maybe infamous is the right word, through a recent documentary called MONSTER INSIDE: AMERICA'S MOST EXTREME HAUNTED HOUSE.

The title makes it sound like a run of the mill unscripted TV special, but MONSTER INSIDE is an examination of Russ McKamey's questionably legal, escalatingly sadistic haunt--which, as many have pointed out, isn't really a haunted house attraction, but something called an "immersive horror experience". McKamey used to run something more like a proper haunt, but even in its earlier days McKamey Manor was the most outrageous available version of the haunt experience; in HAUNTERS we see patrons begging for their freedom, some of whom are visibly bleeding, a few of whom are forced to eat their own vomit, and one of whom experiences a psychotic break and grabs an axe from one of her tormentors to try to escape. Since that time, it seems that things have only gotten worse, with literal waterboarding as part of its standard operation. MONSTER INSIDE features a set of interviewees who have been through one of McKamey's "tours", and who feel the need to speak out about what they were put through. Each of them experienced a sort of grooming process during which McKamey made them feel as if they had been specially selected from among the tens of thousands of prospective victims on a waiting list; he buddies up to them, pumps them full of ego-inflating talk about how they could be the one to put on "the best show ever" for his ever-present video camera, and gets them to sign a waiver agreeing not to press charges if they incur a whole encyclopedia of mental and physical injuries, including many things that an individual doesn't really have the legal ability to consent to. They are then tortured--there is really no other way to put it--for up to 12 hours on McKamey's property. They are not released until he is satisfied with a humiliated admission of total defeat; even in its earlier incarnations, McKamey Manor has prided itself on having no safe word. And, with some customers so traumatized that they can't remember things like where they are or who was the first United States president, retaining a safe word seems to be out of the question anyway.

One might ask, why would anyone subject themselves to this? MONSTER INSIDE does its best to address this mystery. The question of why anyone likes to be scared is always at the heart of the horror conversation, and common answers range from the catharsis screen scares can provide, to more intellectual motivations for exploring darkness. This line of inquiry may extend to why we enjoy Ouija boards despite (or perhaps because of) the popular warnings about how easily they can be misused, and why we agree to crowd into a darkened bathroom and chant the name of an evil spirit who will supposedly spring out of the mirror with murderous intent. Early in the found footage movie WE'RE ALL GOING TO THE WORLD'S FAIR, the naive young protagonist explains her participation in a cursed internet game reputed to have all sorts of terrifying effects, saying, "I love horror movies, and I thought it might be cool to try actually living in one." This may not be a truly satisfying reason for sacrificing one's connection to reality, but it is an honest one; Those of us who chase scares do it for personal, emotional reasons that may not translate into entirely rational statements. Still, the survivors of McKamey Manor make an effort: One horror fan is trying to launch her acting career, and knows that Russ's streamed footage of her ordeal could make her famous. One is a war veteran whose PTSD pushes him toward extreme sadomasochistic experiences. Many express a desire to prove something to themselves by facing their worst fears, of which McKamey collects a detailed list. And while scrutiny always seems to land on the victim who "must be crazy", one shouldn't forget the $20,000 reward offered to anyone who survives one of these indefinite "tours". No one was ever won this prize, though not for lack of trying; MONSTER INSIDE shows footage from the end of a session with an unyielding customer who McKamey belittles and berates despite his obvious win.

MONSTER INSIDE: AMERICA'S MOST EXTREME HAUNTED HOUSE is a fascinating, and continuously frustrating experience. It's a worthy project just to expose the true effects of McKamey's possibly illegal business, although it is also clear that exposure is what he wants more than anything. Early in the documentary he happily declares, "I probably wouldn't do the haunt if I wasn't able to film it, because I want the world to see what I'm doing." He does not appear to be making a fortune from this business, despite his legions of cultish fans who are happy to stalk and harass people who speak out about his abusive practices; at one time (and perhaps still?) a few cans of dog food were the cost of admission. Watching McKamey's antics are a good reminder that much of what we commonly think of as psychopathic behavior is really rooted in a desperate, insecure need for attention. Especially-men who identify with fantasies of merciless machismo, who insist on having everything their way and who do not take No for an answer, are really revealing a kind of extreme fragility. Despite their fantasies about being the alpha wolf, in their intolerance for anything that isn't exactly to their liking, they demonstrate a morbid lack of hardiness. If you can't take rejection, you're weak. If you can't handle even meaningless insults or negligence from people you don't even respect, you're weak. If you cannot ever be alone, if you need attention so badly that you're willing to hurt and disgust people to get it, after failing to genuinely impress or endear yourself to anyone, you're weak. You're infantile. Darwinism would weed you right the fuck out. You are not an apex predator, you are not the epitome of masculinity, if you are nothing without attention. I've known men like this, unfortunately, and when I see a guy like Russ McKamey in the midst of this power-mad hysteria, I see a wilting orchid who wouldn't last a second outside of his self-created greenhouse, and I wish I could tell him that.

But maybe no one has to. Maybe he already knows. In HAUNTERS, his wife laughs affectionately about McKamey's extraordinary wussiness; she tries to list his various fears, and doesn't seem to know where to start, but the documentary helps us out with footage of someone chasing him up and down the block with a snail. Russ is begging for mercy and appears to be in genuine distress, which is enormously satisfying, all things considered. I wonder if he would take $20,000 to let the reasonably angry survivors of McKamey Manor indulge in a little mollusk-flavored revenge.

#horror #found footage #supernatural #documentary #haunt #haunted house #immersive horror #russ mckamey #mckamey manor #hell house llc #spookers #haunters: the art of the scare #monster inside: america's most extreme haunted house #blogtober 2023

10 notes · View notes

overthinkingtaleblr · 1 year

Text

I actually decided to look into like. Home plans and layouts for no reason so uh. When thinking specifically about home plans for the early PIE people, I decided I really liked the aesthetic of the small 1950s suburban neighborhood map they used a couple times and looked into 1950 style house layouts. With the homes in mind it also makes it a little bit easier to figure out their home dynamics and stuff.

This is the floor plan I picked out for the Ghost family— Peewee, Senior, and Johnny— and recreated it on a floor planning website so I could add furniture and use it as a reference if I decide I want to draw something in their house. I might do this with everyone’s house, but it took awhile to even get what I have, so... The garage in the recreated floor plan is probably be like. Wallless, still.

Anyways down the line let’s go— House 1: Katrina and Johnny Roast (I made them siblings), House 2: Johnny Toast, House 3: Ronnie Boast

A big reason why I’m doing this is bc it makes it easier to figure out what their family dynamics and home lives were like bc that’s stuff I like to think about.. I think Kat and Roast have very busy parents and a very busy household with probably a few non-immediate family members living there as well. Either giving Kat the attic room to give em vibing room and fun framing, or Roast the attic room so he can be like that moody older brother with his own space. Boast might have a sibling they share a room with, but other than that I think he spends more time outside so it doesn’t really matter what his space looks like cuz he’s too busy eating grass.. and Toast..

Okay so idk what to do with Toast a lot of the time. I have a whole lot of stuff to explain how he got to the states despite being generally somewhere in the royal family, but I can’t decide if I want to split him from his siblings or have them all live in the same place… So he gets a house with a basement that could have another bedroom in it. That’s me tapping out and saying anything works, but admittedly I prefer thinking about the Toast siblings being basically raised separately up to like High School and that’s part of why they’re all so distant from each other.

I also hc that Chakalata lived in the area (if not where the Ghost family lived, the Casket family) before he was banished so. Spooker’s childhood home and Chakalata’s old restaurant floor plans. I wanted Spooker’s house to have a lot of space bc I think that his sister and Poppy were living in the house around the time, too... I think I might hc Ghost to be a little younger than Spooker tbh. The house is still around but the restaurant got set on fire and deleted from existence, so. The third picture is the Olive Garden Chakalata picked up after getting out of whatever pocket dimension he was sent to since i doubt he was able to bring the first one back.

And finally, the houses Gregory lived in with his dad and CBF (CBF’s is the mansion and was the best I could find for the moment).

In the future when I have access to Gmod I might make some tweaks but. For the most part this is what I have.

#taleblr headcanons #taleblr #taleblr pie

2 notes · View notes

ghostpeblewrite · 3 years

Text

Paradoxical - Chapter 11

~~~~~~

Toast doesn’t remember getting into bed, but he wakes up and finds himself there. He lays awake for a bit, unsure of what woke him. Could’ve just been his own mind. It feels so foggy and heavy.

He’s made aware of what woke him when it sounds again. A small shuffle out in the hallway. Weird…

By the looks of it, it’s late at night, so neither Spooker or Colon should be awake. He sighs, forcing himself to get out of bed. He tries his best to ignore how empty the bed feels, forcing himself to not think about… It.

He grabs a flashlight from his bedside table, not aware enough to grab a weapon too. He shuffles to the door, opening it lazily. He doesn’t wanna be doing this, but he feels he has to. He shuffles down the hallway quietly.

He gets to the end, where it opens up into the living room, before things start happening. To his left he hears something hit the ground, causing him to jump. He swings the flashlight beam that way, seeing a picture frame on the ground. He shuffles over to it quietly, bending over to pick it up before hearing a creak behind him. He turns around, swinging his flashlight beam over the room. He doesn’t see anything.

He’s a bit on edge, but pushes on. It’s… It’s probably just some stray or something… Yeah…

He moves towards where he heard the creak, only to feel something brush his back. He spins around.

There’s nothing there. He relaxes a bit. Probably just… imagining things.

A figure shifts at the edge of his light. Toast moves it onto the figure, only for the figure to dart out of view. He tenses.

There’s definitely something in the house with him. He starts backing down the hallway, only to run into something. Something that reaches around with a pale, scarred arm to snatch his flashlight. Toast tries to grab it back but it’s too late. It’s flicked off, and thrown somewhere.

Toast tries to lunge forward and grab the figure, but they back out of range. They scamper away, towards the room with the control panel in it. Toast scrambles after them.

He has no idea who it is, but he can’t let them turn the barrier off.

When he gets in the room, however, something hits him in the side of the face. He falls to the ground, pain exploding through his jaw. He sees the next moments through blurry vision, so at first he doesn’t even believe it.

In an instant, a new figure appears. A very familiar figure.

The new figure delivers a hard blow to the first one’s face, causing him to fall to the floor, limp. Then, the second figure rushes to Toast. As they get closer, they get clearer, dimly illuminated by the control panel.

Toast can make out the smile first, cut on one side by a scar. Light stubble. The scar across the nose bridge comes next.

Then the eyes. So warm, and full of love, yet also frustration. The dark, furrowed brows, the shaggy reddish brown hair-

“Ghost,” Toast says softly, barely letting himself believe it.

“Sorry I took so long,” he says quietly, then does something Toast was not expecting. He places his hands on either side of Toast’s face, pulling him into a gentle kiss.

Toast can feel so many things. Other than Ghost’s warm hands on his face. Mostly, his heart trying to beat out of his chest.

He pulls away too soon, beginning to talk way too fast for Toast, who is still processing what just happened.

“This is the last time, I swear to god,” Ghost says quickly, “If I have to go through this one more time I’m gonna lose it. I can’t do this again. This is the last time.”

“Wh- Sir-” Toast says, grabbing his hands, sitting up straighter. “Slow down- Did you just kiss me-?”

Ghost stares a moment before laughing, his face breaking into that wonderful, if rare, smile again. Toast wishes it weren’t so dark, so he could see it better.

“Right- Yes, I did, but I don’t have time to explain all that right now-” Ghost says.

“Sir!” Toast says, feeling a smile on his own face. “You… Kissed me!”

Ghost chuckles, though it sounds a bit strained, leaning in and planting a soft kiss on Toast’s nose, “Alright, Johnny, alright.” He stands, holding a hand out for Toast, who takes it with a stupid smile on his face.

“I need you to do something for me, okay? And then I promise I’ll explain,” Ghost says.

“I thought you were dead… And then you kissed me-” Toast says, sort of in a daze.

“Oh- Okay, Johnny,” Ghost grabs his arms, “Hey, listen to me, I need you to wake up Spooker and Colon, okay? Bring them to the living room.”

Toast nods, the smile not leaving. Ghost nods back, letting go of him. Toast heads off to where Spooker and Colon sleep.

Ghost looks down at the limp body on the floor. He hates what he has to do, but he knows by now what he has to do. He’s tired of restarting when he messes up. He’s doing it right this time, even if it kills him.

Soon enough, Toast has the other two in the living room, half awake. Toast’s still buzzing from what happened, but he’s a bit more in the moment.

Ghost rushes in, adjusting his gloves a bit, “Alright, team, listen up-”

“GHOST??!!” Spooker yells, jumping to his feet. Ghost’s eyes widen, and then he lets out a grunt as Spooker barrels into him, hugging him a bit too tight.

“Heyyyyyy, Spooks,” Ghost says, patting Spooker’s back a bit. Toast is shocked by that, usually Ghost would’ve shoved him off by now.

“You were gone for so long!!” Spooker says, pulling away, “We were worried!!”

“Yeah, what was with that?” Colon asks.

Seeing as the conversation has derailed so much, Toast expects Ghost to yell, but not for the first time that night he’s surprised.

“I uhm… It's a long story, you guys,” Ghost says, “One I don’t have time to tell.” He glances at the clock quietly.

“But you will later, right?” Spooker says.

“Yeah, of course,” Ghost says, reaching out to ruffle Spooker’s hair using that as a chance to shove him away a bit. “Sit back down.”

Spooker sits.

“Right, so, in about,” he glances at the clock, “A few minutes, the opposing side will attack. We have very little chance of surviving this, but as a team we can get through this, alright?”

“But- Sir, who even are they?” Toast pipes up.

Ghost eyes him, “You already know two- Gavin and Jimmy.”

“But- Jimmy’s dead,” Colon says.

Ghost cracks a small smile. He suddenly pulls a gun from his pocket- Isn’t that the gun Toast keeps in his bedside table??- pointing it at the hallway behind him, not even looking. “No he isn’t.”

There, at the edge of the hallway, is Jimmy, posed like he was about to lunge at Ghost. Ghost looks back at him. He takes a second to just… look at him, before nodding his head at the door. Jimmy stares at him. Ghost motions for him to move towards the door with the gun, and Jimmy starts moving slowly.

“Sir-!” Toast protests, “We can’t just let him go-!”

“We have to,” Ghost says through gritted teeth, watching Jimmy scamper out the front door. He pockets the gun again, staring at the door. He takes a deep breath.

“Right,” he turns back to them. “Now-”

“Wait, but I snapped his neck,” Colon says. “How was he alive???”

“He’s very bendy,” Ghost says simply, “Now, we need a gameplan. Toast??” He looks at Toast before he’s even moved.

“Oh- Uhm, I was thinking of one, yes,” Toast nods.

“What is it?” Ghost asks.

“I mean, we could surprise them, sir. They probably don’t know you’re… Alive, so if we could draw them out and then surprise attack them, that… Could work?” He shrugs.

Ghost smiles, grabbing his arm to pull him closer, pulling him into another quick kiss. “That’s exactly what you needed to say, Johnny!”

Toast stares at him, red faced. Yet another time he was not expecting that.

“Hey-!” Spooker jumps up again, “You can’t do that!”

Ghost looks at him, “And why is that, Spooker?” He sounds like he knows exactly what’s going to happen.

“Because Toast is married!!” Spooker cries, “To- To a child slave!!”

“Yeah!!” Colon says, standing as well.

Toast stares at them for a moment before Ghost nudges him in the ribs.

“I- Y- What-?” Toast sputters. “Child slave??”

“Yeah! We saw the marriage papers!” Spooker says, “‘Gregory Casket’, he was a missing child!!”

“Oh- You saw that and didn’t think to come ask me-??” Toast sighs, “Guys, no. Gregory Casket is Ghost’s legal name.”

“Wait-” Spooker looks between the two, “But- Ghost isn’t wearing a ring-!”

Before he’s even finished the sentence Ghost has started taking his glove off, holding his hand up. There’s a silver wedding band on his ring finger.

Spooker stares.

“So- What, you two just got married and didn’t tell us???” Colon asks.

“Tax benefits,” Ghost says quickly, glancing at the clock as he puts his glove back on. Toast nods, smiling a little.

“Right, now that that’s out of the way- Spooker, why don’t you come into the kitchen with me?” Ghost starts backing towards the kitchen.

“Okay!” Spooker smiles, following.

Toast watches the two go, unable to wipe the smile from his face. Ghost is… something, that’s for sure.

“Right, Spooker,” Ghost turns to them once they’re in the kitchen, out of earshot of the other two. “I have a super secret mission for you, okay?”

Spooker gasps, “Really?!”

“Yes, really!” Ghost nods. “I need you to come up with a super secret backup plan, in case Toast and I need help, okay?”

Spooker nods, “Okay!! Can I tell Colon though?”

“Yes, you can tell Colon,” Ghost says, “Just… remember what ghosts are weak to.”

Spooker looks away from him to think. Ghost nods, heading out of the kitchen.

Another thing checked off. Nearly halfway.

Ghost feels so tired. He’s been through this so many times, and he’s so tired of watching the people he loves die. He’s doing it right this time, no matter how much he hates it.

He’s learned his lesson.

~~~

O.O

#cw cursing #tw swearing #hehehehehehhehee im evil #im so evil #hahahahahhahahahahahahahah #HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH #paradoxical story

9 notes · View notes

birdlord · 4 years

Text

Everything I Watched in 2018

I neglected to write this list up this time last year, so I’m catching up! 2019 is soon to come. Every Movie I Watched in 2018

The number in parentheses is year of release, asterisks denote a re-watch, and titles in bold are my favourite first watches of the year.

01 So I Married an Axe Murderer (93)* possibly the most early/mid-90s film ever made. Centre parted hair, slam poetry, pre-tech boom San Francisco, Steven Wright cameo?!

02 The Florida Project (17) first theatre movie of the year came early!

03 The Long Goodbye (75)

04 Call Me by Your Name (17) I and some friends made an effort to see movies we thought might be oscar-nominated this year, so there’s a few of those coming up.

05 LA Story (91)* a forever rewatch

06 Personal Shopper (17) Feels like there’s a thin veil between K Stew and the characters she chooses.

07 I, Tonya (17)

08 Comfort and Joy (84) 80s Glasgow!

09 Faces, Places (17) made me want to pick up a camera again

10 A Futile and Stupid Gesture (18)

11 Creed (15) not for me.

12 Black Panther (18)* I found this lost a lot of its lustre the second time around.

13 Ghost (90)

14 Youngblood (86) Rob Lowe and Patrick Swayze hockey movie filmed in 80s Toronto? Sign me up!

15 The Living Daylights (87)* basically sometimes I want to see a Bond film, and really any of them will do.

16 Brigsby Bear (17)

17 The Ice Storm (97)

18 Disclosure (94) strong competition for Most 90s Movie, this time set in a Seattle CD-ROM company. One of those movies I remember staring at the cover of, in the movie rental place.

19 Saturday Night Fever (77)*

20 Barry Lyndon (75) God, the look, the costumes, the performances! This killed me dead.

21 Fried Green Tomatoes (91)* Another forever rewatch!

22 Howard’s End (92)* rewatch prompted by watching the new series version.

23 Sense & Sensibility (95)* keep those costume dramas coming...

24 The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (01)*

25 The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (02)*

26 Breakfast at Tiffany’s (61)*

27 Paterson (16)

28 Three Kings (99)*

29 The Talented Mr Ripley (99)* 99 was a good film year...I’ll go to this version of Italy anytime.

30 The Equalizer (14)

31 Paddington (14)

32 Paul (11) the initial charm doesn’t carry the movie through til the end.

33 The Virgin Suicides (99)*

34 Friday the 13th (80)

35 Sea of Love (89)

36 Won’t You Be My Neighbor? (18) a great opportunity to shed some tears in a movie theatre.

37 Star Wars: The Last Jedi (17)*

38 Wild (14)

39 Housekeeping (87) love me a Bill Forsyth, as you can see.

40 Predator (87)* if it bleeds, etc

41 Close Encounters of the Third Kind (77)*

42 Fever Pitch (05) the US remake...

43 Fever Pitch (97) ...the UK original

44 Bridget Jones’ Baby (16)

45 Stand by Me (86)*

46 Three Identical Strangers (18)

47 Mission Impossible: Fallout (18)

48 Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol (11)*

49 Election (99)*

50 The Killing Ground (17) utter brutality in the Aussie bushland

51 Eyes Wide Shut (99) never saw this at the time, and thought Nicole Kidman’s perspective was more important within the film but GUESS WHAT, IT ISN’T

52 Repulsion (65)

53 Crazy Rich Asians (18)

54 Halloween (78)* the start of Spooker Season

55 A Star is Born (18)

56 The Hunger (83)

57 Annihilation (17)

58 Scream (99)*

59 Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (98) this was...terrible

60 Halloween (18)

61 Deep Red (75) one of the better Argentos, imo, but no Tenebrae

62 Dead Ringers (88)

63 Rocky Horror Picture Show (75)*

64 Silence of the Lambs (91)*

65 Nosferatu (22)

66 The Italian Job (69)

67 Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (01)*

68 Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets (02)*69 Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (04)*

70 Gangs of New York (02)* Wow, I hated this! If I never see sweaty Leonardo DiCaprio again, it’ll be too soon.

71 Shirkers (18)

72 Terminator 2 (91)*

73 Little Women (94)*

74 The Ballad of Buster Scruggs (18)

75 Life Itself (18) this movie has left my mind ENTIRELY, wow did it even happen?

76 National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (89)*

77 Home Alone (90)*

78 Gremlins (84)* turns out I’d forgotten more of this than I remembered??

79 The Shop Around the Corner (40)

80 You’ve Got Mail (98)*

81 Mr Smith Goes to Washington (39)

82 Widows (18)

83 Roma (18) I did see this in theatre, so the surround-sound experience was in full effect.

84 Ghost Stories (17)

85 200 Cigarettes (99)

DOCUMENTARY:FICTION - 3:82

THEATRE:HOME - 11:74

I had no idea I’d watched so many movies from 1999 this year! It was certainly not done on purpose, but that year had some great movies. Spooker Season was a particularly strong one this year, too, with ten horror/spooky movies over the course of October. It’s always interesting to me to see how many comfort viewings vs more challenging fare that I manage to watch in a given year (probably correlated to how many times I was sick and/or had a rough work day).

Every TV Series I Watched in 2019

01 The Crown S2 - the difficulties of royal marriage are a strong theme in this season, but there’s also some great sister-sister material between Elizabeth and Margaret.

02 Lady Dynamite S2 - too weird to live, I guess?

03 High Maintenance S2 - this is the second HBO season, and the first one that really tries to grapple with high-level world events, in this case Trump’s election, spoken about as if it was a natural disaster.

04 Queer Eye S1, S2 - I’d never seen the original series, so this was my first exposure to the concept. It aims for pathos, but you have to accept a pretty rosy world to get into it. Easier to enjoy before any of the boys had book deals/got Milkshake Duck’d.

05 Love S3 - still watching for Bertie, I love her.

06 Collateral - thorny British political police procedural, ultimately pretty forgettable, barring Carey Mulligan’s performance.

07 Alias Grace - the Atwood adaptation that people *weren’t* talking about. It’s great, though!

08 Atlanta S2: Robbin Season - Atlanta got weirder, more idiosyncratic, and even better in its second season. 09 Barry S1 - Barry got a lot of plaudits this year, and while I really liked the cast, and the plot was engrossing, something didn’t stick for me, and ultimately I didn’t watch the second season.

10 Howard’s End - it is a truth universally acknowledged that most books are better adapted as a miniseries than a single movie. Not that I hate the ‘92 movie, but this gets deeper into the class relations than it ever could. Plus: TIBBY!!

11 Killing Eve S1 - the series that hackneyed “smart, stylish and sexy” critic descriptions were made for.

12 Detroiters S2 - pouring one out for my fave pals, who never got a chance to make another season of this little darling (though there were a couple of episodes in this season that didn’t do it for me).

13 Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat - perhaps the only adaptation of a cookbook that I’ve ever seen, and certainly one of the best food shows ever.

14 Big Mouth S2 - More of the same, so if you could hack it in the first season, then keep it up!

15 Bodyguard - another in the sexy/dark/procedural vein, with bonus Scotsman from Game of Thrones.

16 Utopia/Dreamland S1-S3 - an Australian comedy series about a government infrastructure department, which has apparently spawned real such departments in the country, even though it doesn’t come off all that well. The first title is the Aussie one, it’s known as Dreamland everywhere else.

17 Baroness Von Sketch S3 - Canadian series that I actually watch are rare as hen’s teeth, so I was delighted to find a woman-centric sketch show that has kept me laughing. Plus, sometimes I see my neighbourhood? That’s fun!

4 notes · View notes

ghostxtoast-is-lyf · 7 years

Note

Random idea: Spooker lost his favorite beanie and asks Colon to help him find it. Possibly gay things happen?

TW: Cursing at the beginning?? A little at the end too I guess not muchGenre: Fluff Word Count: 600+Summary: Spooker lost his favorite beanie and they’re gay and shit

All was normal in the gay ass residence of paranormal investigators Spooker and Colon. The birds were singing, Colon was playing XBOX, and they finally payed the bills. “cOLON” Spookers scream shook the house. Okay, so maybe it was peaceful for like a second but it was rare they got any quiet at all considering they lived next to the weirdest people ever.

There was the old man who lived next door and called everyone Sithers while reciting Shakespeare, the couple across the hall who had really fucking loud sex, and that house with just a fucking duck in it who quacked at ungodly hours. But them? They were always calm, so it surprised Colon when he heard his best friend scream.

“Spooker?” Colon called back, quieter as to not disturb the neighbors. “wHERE IS MY BEANIE” The younger yelled stomping down the stairs, his combat boots making a loud echoing. Once he reached the bottom he froze in front of Colon and leaned over, gazing suspiciously at his partner. Colon looked over at the wooden table next to him, picking up a dark gray beanie and waving it in Spookers face.

“It’s right here” he said, handing it to Spooker and going back to watching TV. “But I want my favorite one!” the younger protested crossing his arms. Colon paused the show and sighed, turning his head to face Spooker. “Where’d you last see it?” He asked his partner. “Uhm bedroom?” He said unsure, attempting to remember. “Alright, let’s go check” Colon said standing and taking Spookers hand.

Spooker smiled slightly and followed Colon as the walked up the stairs. The elder pushed the light pink door open with his foot and walked in, Spooker trailing behind him. They both froze once they entered. The floor was covered in clothes, cords, and pictures of animals, Colon was sure he could drown in the place. “No wonder you can’t find it” the male commented, eyes scanning the mess.

Spooker scoffed, “like yours is any better!”. “Touché” Colon replied before walking further into the room, picking up some clothing items and throwing them into the closet ((where they hid for so many years ;;;))) end my life)). Colon stopped suddenly to scan the room, causing Spooker who had been following him to trip and fall on top of the black haired male.

“AH” Spooker and Colon both yelled as the toppled to the ground. Spooker opened his eyes that had been shut tight from the fall, only to realize he was practically on top of Colon. “My bad!” He said immediately, rolling off of Colon. Colon however, had still not gotten over the shock and was tightly gripping Spookers arm causing him to roll over along with Spooker.

“…Colon? Bud?” Spooker laughed nervously once he saw Colon staring at him, wide-eyed. “Dude?” Spooker tried again, shutting up once Colon moved forward. Spooker instinctively closed his eyes. ‘Colon’s gonna kiss me oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my … what’ his mind screamed at him. He opened his eyes, surprised by the fact that instead of warm lips he was met with some fabric being shoved in his face.

Spooker removed the silk from his face and looked at Colon confused. Colon smiled and help up the pink beanie Spooker had just shoved off his face. “I found your beanie!” He said happily, standing up and dropping the object on the brunette. “I’m gonna go finish watching modern house wives!” Colon yelled while leaving the room. “bITCH NOT WITHOUT ME YOU AREN’T” Spooker screamed, pulling on his beanie and chasing down Colon.

10 notes · View notes

the-vcr-of-dr-caligari-blog · 7 years

Photo

Cabin Fever (2002) Review: Directed by Eli Roth and featuring Rider Strong and Jordan Ladd, yes the picture I’ve chosen to represent this review is a joke, this movie is an offensive dumpster fire. Offensive because it is 93 minutes too long. I have to make this short and sour because usually a good portion of my reviews is made up of praise and mentions of redeeming and unique qualities. Fine, damn it, here’s a positive sentence: For once in Horror history when the characters become infected they don’t get up and eat each other. I find that to be a unique writing choice. Also what I found interesting is how hateable the characters are in this film. Yes, that’s not new for a multiple-teen-death-count film, but this time it was different. It’s not that they were all tired stereotypes and unintelligent and obnoxious narcissists, two of these characters were just immoral and irredeemable to the core. Those characters being Bert (Played by James DeBello) and Jeff (Played by Joey Kern). You come to hate them for just being horrible human beings. Yes, you probably rooted for Jeff for being smart enough to escape, but his tact was just piss disgusting. As for the other three, they didn’t receive enough character development for you to care if they lived or not, as much as they tried to be decent human beings.

Now let’s talk about the scare factor: Was there a scare factor? There was a gore factor, and we all know that’s all that Eli Roth is really good for, right? We saw The Green Inferno (2013) and we know what the MO is. I’m going to be honest, for the first time in a long time I was actually kind of disgusted by the visuals in a movie. The shaving scene especially, that was a bit of a sensory overload. My favorite part of this movie was actually the fact that canines were attracted to the rotting flesh that the disease brought upon you. Not only are you decaying and too sick to function, but every day dogs are trying to eat you now. That is pretty scary in my opinion. You could also consider rednecks chasing you down while you are half dead to be scary, but that’s nothing unique or interesting.

My problems with this film are as such: Why everything? Why anything? We start off our adventure with a mentally disabled child biting our Bert character, and this is relevant why? Because Dennis the Dope contracts the disease from him later? But nothing comes of Dennis contracting it that way because everyone actually gets infected by the contaminated river lemonade. Speaking of that, why are those kids making lemonade out of river water? Yes, these are country folk but they are not prehistoric tribesmen, they have tap water. That’s clearly a segue to getting all of the county folk infected but that is utterly ridiculous. Why would you use the river water? Why can’t you see a dead body in the water 20 feet ahead? The only conclusion was that these bastard children did it on purpose! They work for the dogs! They must create diseased meat for these demon dogs to obtain their rightful place in a dog dominated world as upper class slaves who helped forge the canine empire! But, no it’s just poor writing. Also, the hamfisted romance between Paul and Karen. Stop doing this, horror directors. You’re not going to build a meaningful relationship that makes us care AND kill everyone off ceremoniously in your hour and a half movie. Now let’s not forget about the best scene in modern cinema: Dennis’s sick karate moves! I can’t actually bash this because it is so relevant to the film and it makes so much sense, so much sense that it makes too much sense and it would be insulting for me to even question it. And lastly, we have the racism comedy between the store clerk and the african american group at the end. Why? Just fucking why? What kind of movie are you trying to make? You put in so much crap, Eli Roth, that just makes no sense. It’s not a comedy and you just brought the whole movie to a dead stop by including an unfunny “racism misunderstanding” joke in your film about rotting sick people. Also don’t think I didn’t see that hospital rabbit man was credited in the credits as “We’ll never tell”. Good, I don’t care. Honestly if you told me, I would die inside for knowing that you thought I’d care. There are many other things wrong with this film but they’re just not worth ranting over.

I’m gonna have to flush this turd at a 2/10 on the spooker scale. Thank you everyone, and remember not to drink any of the shit sold by little kids, they’ll poison you on purpose.

#horror movies #horror #horror movie #horrors #scary movies #movies #movie #film #films #film review #film reviews #movie review #movie reviews

3 notes · View notes