Do you think if Phil sleeps on one person enough, he sets his spawn on them?
Etoiles or Fit or Missa- he’s been snoozing on them constantly as of late and he accidentally stumbles into a situation that he just can’t win and, when he respawns-
He immediately almost crushes whoever the universe chose to attach him to. It’s like a soulmate AU almost expect it’s not predestined and is literally Jusr Shenanigans 😭
~ 🐝
This is. perfection JAJAJAJ
That idea is so stupid and silly in the best way possible because imagine the confusion on if it were to happen. LIKE??? WHEEZE
A disoriented & confused Phil with a very startled & also confused other person, entirely bewildered by Phil falling out of the sky from thin air. literally
And then it leads to various shenanigans to cause chaos & be a menace KQJDB especially with Etoiles and Fit, it switches into messing around so fast
Poor Missa would be scared as hell and then probably worry over where tf Phil even came from, which probably ends up in Missa being dragged into shenanigans as well
All in all, 10 out of 10 idea, very much support the silliness behind it
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Yandere Drider Dad
First fic!
WARNINGS: Overprotective behavior, kidnapping, child neglect, child abandonment, spiders/spiderlings, possessiveness, reader gets gagged
Yandere Drider Dad who found you, a human, tangled up in his webs and covered by his kids who were crawling all over you. Half of them thought you were food, and half of them insisted on waiting “Until Dad gets home!”
Yandere Drider Dad who wonders how you even got here and looks up to find a hole in the cave roof. It’s dark outside, tree tops and stars peering back down at him.
Yandere Drider Dad who tells them no, you’re not food, and no, you’re not staying.
Yandere Drider Dad who despite their protests and whines, pulls his kids off of you (hissing at one of them when they accidentally cut you with their talons from trying to cling on to you) and cradles you in his arms for a moment.
…You look…terrible. At first, he thinks it’s from the fall, but you look thin and to him, you feel like glass in his hands. Your hair is matted- why is it matted? He has some knowledge of humans, and he knows that they’re not stupid and that they usually take good care of their young. So why wasn’t this the case with you?
Yandere Drider Dad who jolts when you wake up and start screaming. It startles him and he quickly webs your mouth shut, shushing and chittering at you. He’s not the only Drider on this mountain, and you don’t want to put your younger sib- his kids in danger, do you?
Yandere Drider Dad who after thinking for a moment, patches your cuts and scrapes up with his webs, wraps you in in a cocoon so you can’t run off- to keep you warm, and places you back onto the webs. He tells his spiderlings to keep away from you so you don’t freak out even more and to stay put before leaving the nest.
Yandere Drider Dad who comes across a cabin as the sun starts to rise. He can’t keep you. He can’t. You’re a young human. You already have parents who are probably freaking out and wondering where you are.
Yandere Drider Dad who stands there in silence when he finds an empty cabin, tire tracks and the smell of older humans still somewhat fresh. Did they leave you?
They left you.
Yandere Drider Dad who feels both relieved and angry. He takes back what he thought about humans. They’re all stupid. He searches around, looking for tracks or signs that they at least tried to look for you. There’s nothing. No signs at all. They simply packed up and left. He’s angry that humans would just leave their children for no reason at all.
But also relieved that he can keep you now.
Yandere Drider Dad who won’t leave you and ignore you like your spawnpoints did. He’ll take better care of you. He’s the only option you have left, and he’s not complaining.
Yandere Drider Dad who “adopts” you into his family. You have so many younger siblings to play with now! Sure, they don’t really understand personal space just yet, and they may bite you from time to time, but they love you just as much as your Dad does. They got attached to you the moment you landed in their home.
Yandere Drider Dad who goes out of his way to cook your portion of dinner, even though he and your siblings eat it raw. Don’t eat meat? He’s concerned, but goes out at night to collect some nuts and berries for you. Allergic? Never mind the nuts then. Do expect to be hand-fed if you try to make a fuss.
Yandere Drider Dad who refuses to let you leave the cave. It’s dangerous out there, after all. Other Driders aren’t as kind as he is, and there’s also wild animals- and what if you got hurt- what if someone tried to take you away- like a harpy- those things will snatch up spiderlings- he's already lost one-
What if you ran away?
…Yeah, no. You’re staying in the cave with your siblings.
Why would you run away? Why would you leave them? He cares about you. Your siblings care about you. He doesn’t understand why you keep fussing. Why do you keep screaming and shouting at him and your siblings? He loves you, but please. Stop. It’s hurting your throat and your family’s sensitive ears, and it puts everyone in danger. He keeps your mouth webbed shut unless you’re eating and until you finally stop.
Yandere Drider Dad who wraps you up tightly in a cocoon to keep you nice, warm, and safe. And to make sure you don’t try to run away again. Why would you want to go back? The other humans obviously didn’t care about you. Who needs them? Especially when you have him and your little siblings, all who cuddle up together on the web when it’s time for bed.
With you in the middle.
Right where you belong.
Surrounded by your real family.
-
Do tell me if I missed some warnings + criticism is welcome
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okay I’ve been inspired to rant about soulfire’s spawn now (this is very /lh im having so much fun)
It’s on the top of the mountain which is already painful. add to that the burning sun melting tons of the snow on day one, now it’s just horribly shattered-looking and the respawn is on a pillar, they instantly lose hunger and take damage trying to parkour navigate out. it’s even worse at night.
LOOK AT IT??????
UGLY.
q!tina earlier had to hide in a hole eating maggots to survive and im still so obsessed with this scene, it was like a pivotal character moment
“im eating maggots in the snow oh my god this is disgusting this is like the worst arc I could go through. i’m taking this to my grave I can’t tell anybody, this is embarrassing this is like. you die with this secret. i’d rather admit that I killed federation workers than admit that I ate maggots in the snow all by myself.” 💀
so ofc blue very early on decided to abandon the spawn and instead make their base on a nice cozy little beach, and today they put a bed to respawn and everything! <3
but SIKE the bed doesn’t do anything and they’re cursed to keep spawning on top of the mountain anyways!!! :D
so every time a blue member dies, they gotta make the fun journey of trying to survive navigating out of their hellscape spawnpoint, run down the whole mountain breaking their ankles with every step, and drag their battered starving bodies into the frozen ocean. <333
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I had a dream about using chess pieces in a made up very stupid alternative gamemode of like an asymmetrical wargame. Like shitty warhammer. I can't stop thinking about it. When pieces meet they engage in combat and you roll dice to see who wins, the direction where the enemy pieces they're engaging in is the direction they're facing and you can flank them by attack from a perpendicular direction or from behind. The black pieces get necromancy, the white pieces get nature powers where they can summon plants and shit to slow or debuff enemies. The rooks are buildings. You start with one rook in your territory (first two rows on your side. That is your spawnpoint for pieces. You also get a pool of points to summon a bunch of pieces before the game starts. The king is the commander and you can literally castle him by making him go inside the rook. You can eventually place the other rook in a different spot but you have to announce it and defend the square for three turns until it is built. If an rnemy pieces enters the square then it immediately resets all that shit.
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Barring contradictory information I think I will in fact headcanon that the millennium ring's anime-only teleportation power works exactly like in pokemon where you black out and end up back at your most recently used center. Not a infinite bullshit teleport but an "if in dire straights, return to last host." Set command /spawnpoint at Ryou Bakura
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