#soul has consumed more inedible things than edible | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lions-arch-chronicle · 4 years

Photo

Issue 5

Mild Spoiler Warnings for LWS5

Image ID under the cut

Title: Breaking the Ice Legion: A New Terror Story: In the latest updates from the charr civil war reports have been coming in that negotiations have come to an absolute standstill. There has been a breakdown of all negotiations after the reported capture of Steel Warband member and second in command to Centurion Steelcatcher, Cinder Steeltemper, who has not been seen since and according to intelligence is to be considered MIA. Imperator Bangar Ruinbringer has also not been seen in the recent weeks, unverified sources claim that the former Blood Legion Imperator was last seen forging farther north. Reports also state that a new enemy has been spotted recently, a before unseen form of icebrood. The Jormag corrupted icebrood who have been referring to themselves as the Ice Legion have been rising from the ranks of Dominion all under Ruinbringer’s command. The United Legions, after gaining control of the southern portion of Drizzlewood Coast, will be looking to push beyond Wolf’s Crossing Bridge up into what is being called the Frost Citadel the main stronghold of the Dominion and Ice Legion. While on the surface this appears to be an advantage to the United Legions this could pose greater risks than ever as the farther north the legions push the closer they get to the looming threat that is the elder dragon Jormag. No comment has been made from the Legion Imperators within the United Legions about the risks that this advancement into enemy territory may entail but with an elder dragon involved nothing is certain.

Title: Introducing skritt fashion reviews

Story: Skritt was told by boss editor lady to seek help from others in writing of fashion column. So Skritt has come to paper reading people to ask for you to send us photos of your shiny shiny outfits. The shinier the better! Skritt will then give a full review of the outfit, the shiny pieces of armor that nice photo people are wearing, and the dyes that they have used. Boss Courica has said that even if the dyes are shiny that we can’t drink them, which skritt thinks is unfair. If you would like skritt to review your best shinies submit the outfit in our submission box. Uh, wherever that is, editor lady didn’t tell me where but skritt hopes that people will find them so we can see all the pretty pretty outfits.Editor’s Note: Outfit submissions can be shared via our tumblr page at https://lions-arch-chronicle.tumblr.com/submitWe promise that Kuritata will have very in depth reviews of outfits (we hope).

Title: An Icy Olive Branch from the Icebrood?

Story: Reports have arrived from reporters Truthseeker and Teekay that a group of seemingly peaceful icebrood were spotted in Hoelbrak within the Great Lodge yesterday. The group was surprisingly peaceful similar to their Svanir counterparts that live within Hoelbrak. The icebrood crowd was peaceful and even willing to give quotes to reporters on the scene. Truthseeker was able to get a very short interview with Svana Dragonbane who when questioned about the dragons and their opinions on them said, “Once, I thought the dragons were a blight. But now I see that Jormag is here to protect us. Ice fortifies, ice protects.” The group departed shortly afterwards toward Frostgorge Sound where there have been common sightings of the Claw of Jormag.

Title: An unbiased travel review of Divinity’s Reach from a Charr

Story: Divinity’s Reach is easily the best city in all of Tyria! The city is easily the most gorgeous with the best infrastructure. The locals are the most elegant and beautiful of all the Tyrians.The city is huge with plenty of shopping opportunities. If you don’t want to spend money you can always craft it yourself at the Dwayna Low Road crafting stations. The most beautiful and just Queen Jennah also resides in the city. The Central Plaza is one of the most beautiful places in the city, just second to the Queen’s throne room. The city is also one of the safest, with Shining Blade members posted throughout. All in all, if you are thinking about visiting Divinity’s Reach I highly recommend it! Plenty of luxury to be had! Editor’s Note: Kittyblog was asked if this review was unbiased as she grew up in Divinity’s Reach, despite being a charr. Her statement was that this was her unbiased opinion but in the interest of fairness we would like to point out her very strong conflict of interest despite how confusing it may be for a travel reporter to have said biases.

Title: The Boasting Hall, Quail on Quail

Story: I know you’ve heard it before but Ascalonian Quail are the best birds in all of Tyria! They are the superior bird due to many things. The first being their beautiful head ornament! It is perfect! You wish you had such a beautiful headpiece! They also lay the cutest little eggs! They are perfect for an egg salad or scrambled eggs OR even hatching more quail! Obviously hatching them and making more is the superior choice of those but all are great! Some quail can even lay an egg a day! Imagine the quail army you could have in a short amount of time! It’d be an army superior to any other animals in Tyria i’m sure! Quail also travel in small flocks and when spooked they majestically burst forward with power and speed to take to the skies(for a moment.) You would be blessed to see such a beautiful display of feathers and power! The Quail’s call is also amazing! Just listen to the male as he calls to his flock! It’s glorious and powerful! Also have you ever seen a small baby quail? It’s amazing! So small and fluffy and perfect for cuddling and carrying with you anywhere you go! If you haven’t seen a baby quail I highly suggest you change that right this moment! Adopt your own Ascalonian Quail today! They are the superior bird of Tyria and deserve all the love and attention we can give them! Editor’s Note: This may hopefully be the last opinion article we do on the birds of Tyria. If anyone at all no matter what the subject is would like to also participate in some non bird related opinions that they would like to share we would absolutely love to hear them. But we also won’t say no to more bird related content if that’s what our readers would like to see. Just please, maybe just a little less bird content.

Title: A true omnivore: I ate like the Commander for a day

Story: What’s the secret to finding the best food Tyria has to offer? According to the famous Pact Commander… try it all. Including, no offense to the honorable Commander, some items I would not strictly classify as edible. To be fair, I did ask for out of the way recommendations, and I certainly got them! Some stops on our tour were fairly respectable, the Meatoberfest in Diessa Plateau, for example, was utterly delightful, but things quickly went in a questionable direction. We tried some Orrian sea urchin, and I have to admit it was enjoyable, if a tad bit salty. Next was coffee with bloodstone, which packed a punch so powerful that I was afraid my soul may have left my body. I think my skeleton may still be suffering the aftershocks and I would recommend avoiding all foods laced with bloodstone dust. After that was enchanted clam bait, inedibly slimy and unappetizing seeing as I am not a clam. Then I was handed something that came from a can and claimed to be flank steak. It tasted more like the faint memory of meat bestowed upon insulation foam. I politely declined when the Commander suggested we consume a clay based Grawl paint to, “Imbue ourselves with its essence.” And suggested we try something more conventional. I was pleased that our next stop was Rata Sum… until I was offered a bag of cat food. With all due respect… I hope the Commander sticks to fighting the elder dragons.

#Lions Arch Chronicle #LAC #GW2 #Guild Wars 2 #Jormag Meetup #guild wars 2 fashion

35 notes · View notes

okayideas · 7 years

Text

Chef’s Notes for the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons 1st Edition Monster Manual, A-D

Aerial servant: Taste and texture may be mildly inferior to wild air elemental, but even discriminating palates disagree, and aerial servant is a much less expensive meat.

Anhkheg: Requires extensive expert preparation, or Cure Disease cast by a 6th level or higher cleric, to be safely consumed. A dish that demonstrates a chef's prowess or a host's wealth, but not a particularly desirable one.

Ant, Giant: At best, a bitter substitute for lobster. To be avoided.

Ape: Resembles pork or wild boar. Do be aware that ape meat is considered taboo by many Lawful and even Neutral holy orders.

Axe Beak: Excessively gamey when wild. If farm-raised on a diet of fish and small rodents, quite tender, similar to a very large carnivorous pheasant.

Baboon: Generally indiscernable from ape once cooked.

Badger: Stringy. Not worth consideration as meat, particularly considering likely druidical objections.

Baluchitherium: A whole baluchitherium carcass is not worth the cost of transporting, but if a hunter knowledgable in butchery happens to kill one, the belly and shoulder joints are not unlike cow.

Barracuda: Would not be a culinarily desirable fish even if it were cheap, but the spell component market prices it out of consideration.

Basilisk: It is possible to prepare it to be safe for consumption, but there is no reliable way to distinguish correctly from incorrectly prepared basilisk. Serve with a scroll of Stone to Flesh per diner, and ensure a designated non-diner capable of reading magic is present. The taste and texture can be likened to coffee-infused chicken.

Bear: Highly seasonal in most climates, fatty in late fall and tough in early spring. Best prepared very rare, as the primary fans of this meat are barbarians.

Beaver, Giant: Almost indistinguishable from rabbit. Not worth hunting or farming for its meat, but worth serving if the meat happens to already be available.

Beetle, Giant: Too acidic to be useful as food. Neutralizing the acid just leads to a goopy mess. May be of some value in potion crafting.

Beholder: Essentially nothing but scales and mush, and too valuable as a spell component to be found on the meat market.

Black Pudding: Extremely badly named. Avoid.

Blink Dog: Intelligent and lawful; proper burial is advised.

Boar: More variable than farm-raised pig, but can be prepared with essentially the same techniques.

Brain Mole: Resembles rabbit or shrew to most palates. Can only be fully appreciated by those with psionic ability. If a brain mole has had a particularly chaotic or evil host, it should not be served.

Brownie: A chef should assume that any request for a brownie is referring to a baked good and not a demihuman.

Buffalo: Largely indistinguishable from cow, although less fatty.

Bugbear: While the live bugbear's appearance is not particularly similar to either a bug or a bear, its meat is quite similar to a mix of bear and locust and can be prepared accordingly.

Bulette: There is debate as to whether this is more similar to fish or vole. It possibly varies regionally.

Bull: A wild bull is not much different from a farm-raised one, except in terms of the quantity of meat at each cut.

Camel, Wild: Usually too stringy and boney to serve in any formal dining context, although quite edible as a matter of desert survival.

Carrion Crawler: Essentially a stunt dish, served so that diners can show their bravery. Harmless but not good-tasting.

Catoblepas: If you can smell the aroma of a catoblepas cooking, you already require clerical attention. Strenuously avoid.

Cattle, Wild: All manner of wild cattle are essentially interchangeable, of course excluding rare magical and intelligent exceptions.

Centaur: The horse portion can be served as horse meat, assuming no magical means of inspection will be applied to it, but there is little incentive to do such a thing.

Centipede, Giant: A few rare varieties are poisonous, so consult appropriate references for your local region. Otherwise, like fine lobster if it has been eating vegetable matter and like inferior lobster if it has been eating meat.

Cerebral Parasite: Too small to meaningfully prepare, and more valuable as a spell component.

Chimera: Each cut should be prepared separately as a distinct meat. Do consider serving them together as a single meal, solely for the sake of flair.

Cockatrice: Almost indiscernable from the meat of a very young basilisk, and should be served and prepared with the same precautions.

Couatl: Do not serve. Deities who consider the couatl sacred tend to be highly willing to intervene in mortal affairs.

Crab, Giant: Keeps longer than conventional crab, and has some novelty value.

Crayfish, Giant: Most would say that giant crayfish tastes rotten even when fresh, but there is an acquired taste to be had, so trying one may be worth consideration if they are common in your area. Use butter liberally.

Crocodile: Almost indistinguishable from chicken prepared most ways. Best salted and dried, if its specific flavor is desired.

Demon, Demogorgon: There is no documentation regarding the taste of this unique being.

Demon, Juiblex: Portions of Juiblex's flesh should be considered hostile, even if seemingly dead. Flee immediately and contact local good clerics or itinerant adventurers.

Demon, Manes: May technically constitute cannibalism, as the flesh of a manes is created from the soul of a dead human or demihuman. Virtually inedible regardless.

Demon, Orcus: Lore regarding the taste of this unique being is scanty and contradictory. Any opportunity to acquire flesh of Orcus is likely to be a hoax or trap.

Demon, Succubus: The prospect of eating the flesh of a succubus is unusually tempting for some, but it is very harmful, often fatal.

Demon, Vrock: Essentially a pre-rotted mix of human and vulture flesh. There is nothing in its meat worth trying to salvage.

Demon, Hezrou: As demons go, fairly edible. The hindlegs could be served as giant frog without drawing attention.

Demon, Glabrezu: This meat rarely remains in physical existence long enough to cook and serve.

Demon, Nalfeshnee: Combines the most worthless and inedible traits of ape and boar flesh.

Demon, Marilith: The upper portion is never safe to eat. For the lower portion, consider its markings as you would any other snake.

Demon, Balor: Assume that any opportunity to acquire balor flesh is ultimately part of a scheme to capture your soul.

Demon, Yeenoghu: Presumably tastes like gnoll.

Devil, Asmodeus: The flesh of an incarnation of Asmodeus on the material plane is quite tasty and can be prepared like veal, although exorcism by a 9th level or higher cleric is warranted.

Devil, Baalzebul: It is unclear if this unique being even has flesh in any tangible sense.

Devil, Barbed: Similar to locust.

Devil, Bone: Entirely useless from a culinary perspective. Boiling a portion of one for soup stock would only taint the soup with evil.

Devil, Dispater: The flesh of this unique being would presumably take on a different apparent taste and texture depending on the mind of the diner, and would quite possibly be poisonous or curse-inducing.

Devil, Erinyes: The flesh of an erinyes does not remain on the material plane long enough to cook properly.

Devil, Geryon: There is no culinarily relevant information available about this devil.

Devil, Malebranche: The flesh of a malebranche is literally filled with hatred. Small portions can be used in a psionic salad; roast it with a large amount of salt.

Devil, Ice: Once killed, there is nothing icy about these devils at all. The meat resembles rotten pork and is about as healthy.

Devil, Lemure: Technically cannibalism, as the flesh is in fact a damned soul. Do not confuse with lemur.

Devil, Pit Fiend: Should be cooked for at least half a day to avoid food poisoning. The taste resembles lamb infused with pepper.

Dinosaur: Herbivorous dinosaurs generally resemble chicken or crocodile. Carnivorous ones tend to vary considerably by diet.

Displacer beast: Highly acidic but not quite poisonous. While it is being cooked, the flesh will often appear to be somewhere other than its actual location, and this illusion persists to the table if served piping hot.

Djinni: Cooking or eating a djinn is likely to provoke retribution from others and should not be done.

Dog: Where not taboo, resembles goat or horse. Should be presumed taboo in general.

Doppelganger: Best reserved for spell components rather than dining. Regardless of how you prepare it, the result will always resemble a frustratingly inferior substitute of some other meat.

Dragon, Black: The organs are inedible. Perhaps surprisingly, the flesh is not acidic at all, and even counteracts acid somewhat.

Dragon, Blue: Do not serve with metal utensils, not even +1 or silver ones. Eaten with the hands or wooden utensils, tastes essentially like any other dragon.

Dragon, Brass: Tends to cause drowsiness, so best used as a last course.

Dragon, Tiamat: Severed heads of Tiamat can be cooked and served according to their color, although you are highly unlikely to acquire one.

Dragon, Copper: Despite its alignment, a very neutral-tasting dragon; depending on seasonings it could be easily mistaken for any other type of dragon, or even for dragonne or couatl.

Dragon, Gold: Along with red dragon, generally considered one of the two finest dragon meats. Not to be eaten if divine intervention from Bahamut is common in your region.

Dragon, Green: Poisonous unless cooked so thoroughly as to be tasteless.

Dragon, Bahamut: A scale of Bahamut can infuse a dragonish flavor to a soup stock hundreds, or perhaps even thousands, of times, and might be found in the kitchen of a family wealthy enough to demonstrate that they can afford to use such a valuable object for such a trivial purpose. The actual flesh of Bahamut has never been tasted, to our knowledge.

Dragon, Red: Generally the best dragon for eating; quick-cooking, almost impossible to burn, flavorful, and with a very long shelf life even unsalted. If you learn to cook just one type of magical being, it should be red dragon.

Dragon, Silver: Like gold, likely to provoke Bahamut's wrath. Unlike gold, also occasionally capable of causing paralysis if it is undercooked or if the organ meat contaminates the flesh.

Dragon, White: Takes an extremely long time to cook properly, often as long as three days over an open flame or half a day of deep-frying. Eating undercooked white dragon may cause hypothermia, sometimes fatally.

Dragonne: In regions where dragonnes are common, they can be used as mock dragon in many recipes, resembling the taste of copper or brass dragon.

Dragon Turtle: Like any other turtle, although much more difficult to butcher.

Dryad: Similar to asparagus. Best roasted with oil.

Dwarf: Taboo in most civilizations; should be properly buried. Not particularly distinguishable from human.

#writing saturday #it's a cookbook

2 notes · View notes

dietweekv9x4-blog · 5 years

Text

The Worst Advice You Could Ever Get About 3 Week Diet

The Candida Diet program is a important evil, as lots of my clients will agree. If you are a Candida sufferer, the diet plan is something that "You cannot live with however you can't live without." The diet plan is feared, hated, despised, misunderstood, and often could make the distinction between the good results and failure in the elimination with the yeasty beast! The purpose of this text just isn't to explain what the Candida Eating plan is. This can actually be located on our website while in the "patient only area," or by simply hunting the Candida Diet program on-line. The purpose Here's to explain why it is important!

I will also explain how the diet is normally more healthy than most diet programs that are now being adopted inside the 21st century.

The Candida Diet plan is reduced in carbohydrates, very low in sugar, and usually very low in fermented foods like vinegar, alcoholic beverages, etcetera. Candida feeds on sugars. Sugars make it expand and bolster its adherence towards the intestinal lining. When over a Candida Diet program, the whole quantity of carbohydrates to the day shouldn't exceed a hundred and fifty grams. In the Biamonte Center, we use 3 versions of the Candida Eating plan that variety involving thirty-fifty grams, sixty-90 grams, and a hundred-150 grams of full carbohydrates for your working day. Keeping away from sugar and Liquor are the most important aspects. These substances might cause the speediest and best increase in Candida development. They may be one of the most unsafe. Starches appear next. Starches convert to sugars in The body. Candida can feed on nutritious sugars just the same as it can on junk food. Many of your respective people will observe that sweet fruits will flare their signs and symptoms just as significantly as junk foods! When feeding on starches (carbohydrates), picking out those foods that have a decrease "glycemic index" rating is greatest. The glycemic index is usually a scale that costs how fast a meals converts to sugar in you blood stream. Examples of the glycemic index can easily be observed on the internet. Fermented foods like soy sauce, vinegar, etcetera. may be crucial that you steer clear of, especially if the individual has reactionary signs from the food stuff. These foods normally deliver an allergic reaction from the Candida sufferer's intestinal tract that may upset The great flora along with the intestinal immune response. Foods in the fungus spouse and children like mushrooms, and many others. can be allergens in exactly the same fashion as the fermented foods.

Foods higher in yeast can have a similar influence to fermented foods as well as foods through the fungal relatives. Foods that incorporate yeast usually do not contain Candida. They comprise baker's yeast. This is simply not Candida. These foods can aggravate Candida by producing allergic reactions, but they can not trigger Candida.

The Candida Diet plan, although seemingly restrictive, is actually increased in nutrients as opposed to diet of the normal American. The Candida Diet in fact is similar to "The South Beach Diet plan," "The Zone," and "The Hunter/Gatherer Diet program" (also known as the "Paleolithic Food plan"). You can find races of people who are all slimmer, more robust, and a lot quicker than us. All of them have straight tooth and excellent eyesight. Arthritis, diabetes, hypertension, heart disease, stroke, depression, schizophrenia, and most cancers are complete rarities to them. These men and women are the final eighty four tribes of hunter-gatherers on the planet. They share a secret that is definitely above 2 million years previous. Their key is their diet plan- a diet regime that has modified little from that of the initial human beings 2 million many years ago, and their predecessors, as much as 7 million years in the past. Theirs is definitely the diet program that gentleman advanced on, the diet program that's coded for in our genes. It's got some major variations towards the eating plan of "civilization." You're in for your several massive surprises.

The diet program will likely be referred to as the "Paleolithic Eating plan," referring towards the Paleolithic or Stone Age era. It's also referred to as the "Stone Age Diet," "Cave Male Diet plan," or perhaps the "Hunter/Gatherer Diet regime." Far more intimate souls like to think of it as the diet regime which was eaten during the "Back garden of Eden," and they're correct in thinking so. For many yrs, individuals and their relations have eaten meat, fish, fowl, along with the leaves, roots, and fruits of many vegetation. A single massive impediment to acquiring much more calories from the setting is the fact that several vegetation are inedible. Grains, beans, and potatoes are brimming with energy but are all inedible from the raw condition, since they comprise a lot of toxins. There is absolutely no question about that- be sure to Really don't seek to take in them raw. They will cause you to really sick.

About 10,000 many years back, an enormous breakthrough was built- a breakthrough which was to change the class of record, and our diet regime, eternally. This breakthrough was the invention that cooking these foods created them edible- the heat wrecked more than enough toxins to render them edible. Grains include wheat, corn, barley, rice, sorghum, millet, and oats. Grain primarily based foods also consist of merchandise which include flour, bread, noodles and pasta. The cooking of grains, beans, and potatoes experienced a massive effect on our foodstuff ingestion- Potentially doubling the quantity of calories that we could receive from your plant foods in our ecosystem.

youtube

Grains, beans, and potatoes (GBP) share the following important qualities:

-- They're all harmful when raw. There is not any question about this; It's really a fact that no proficient resource would dispute. They can be particularly hazardous and it is important under no circumstances to consume them raw or undercooked. These toxins include things like enzyme blockers, lectins, as well as other varieties. I will speak about them in detail later as These are extremely important.

0 notes