#sorry that it's all in lowercase i'm inconsistent and undomesticated

[kaurwreck]

Do you mind talking more about skk intimacy issues?

i've ranted a lot about it in friends' DMs, and i'm only ever able to wax poetic when the urge strikes, which it hasn't since i received this ask. so rather than wait for the urge to strike any longer, i've just copy and pasted one of my many discord rants below. it doesn't really answer your question unless you understand that it only works so long as they never discuss it out loud, which becomes delicate when they're genuinely upset with each other (which is inevitable given how grating they are to the other).

[dated September 5, 2023, for reference]

i don't think submissive chuuya makes any sense given he'd argue with a brick wall if he thought it was pushing back against him but I don't think he'd like to be wholly domineering either. but reading the six enneagram materials helped me figure out where this chokepoint is, and it has to do with his anxieties interacting with his contrarianism. chuuya struggles with leadership, he wants it but he also gets very stressed out and tends to fall apart under too much pressure if he thinks it's all on him. he tends to do best in situations like with what he has with mori; where he feels like he has autonomy and he feels powerful and in control of what's happening to him, but he gets to listen to the orders of someone he perceives as more certain or wiser than him. and i do think dazai like yearns a bit to be rescued, and to be seen, but he can't handle the mortifying ordeal of being known either. so like I think there would need to be a push/pull, where chuuya isn't entirely having to navigate their dynamic but where dazai feels like he's being understood and recognized.

that's what they're doing when they're working in tandem anyhow; they're pulling the other and trusting the other to not let go and leave the tension to the other one alone. I also think it's like somewhat why, although he throws little fits about it, chuuya lets dazai boss him around when they fight. because he's GOING to argue back, he can't not meet confrontation with his own. but there's a sense of relief, too, I think to the way that dazai seems very sure of his strategies. and I think dazai works well with chuuya because he can trust chuuya to think and to adapt and to respond to what's happening in a way that ensures that like dazai's plans won't get him killed, and that assuringly disprove the feeling that he has that no one else in the world could understand his mind. because that chuuya can predict and interact with and vibe with what dazai's thinking without dazai needing to give precise instructions lends itself to the feeling that perhaps chuuya is privy to him after all. (as like, at least part of it. i think that chuuya doesn't need him necessarily eases Dazai into leaning on him in a way that he would have difficulty with if he saw chuuya as someone wholly needy)

dazai needs to be allowed to be coy and mysterious, but also receive the attention he wants but can't ask for. chuuya needs to feel like he's safe and secure but also doesn't want to be on his own or feel as if their safety and pleasure depend on him entirely.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #soukoku #skk #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #sorry that it's all in lowercase i'm inconsistent and undomesticated