#sorry a little not sorry to be extra ranty on my rant blog rn I’m just in my brain yall

[milo-is-rambling]

I feel like a huge idiot all the time like it’s great and is awful and there’s a layer of smart in me that I can’t seem to actually get to it just simmers there and occasionally a smart thought bubble floats to my mouth or brain and then soon enough it’s all bullshit again

#I have spent too much time in my own brain recently I think #something something my therapist didn’t text me back letting me know if I could do my appointment virtually instead of in person and I don’t #want to bother her again so I’m just like anxious and feel annoying #and my brother (autocorrected to bother for a second lol) is smart and went to school and got a job and shit and my mom is smart and my dad #was the idiot and now he’s dead and I’m alone to be the stupid one 😭😭😭😭 #I feel so bad about myself all the time but like oh my god people around me talking about shit I don’t understand and like I can’t even #try to understand bc it’s like programming related and I end up feeling stupid and left out and like gahhhhh #my mom said I’m wallowing and I have to be like no I’m not but I literally sleep under a wall of mental illness theme canvas pieces ive made #idk I feel like a failure all the time and like I’ll rot in my mothers house for the rest of my life or until she eventually kicks me out #therapist text me baccckkkkkkkkkkkk #sorry a little not sorry to be extra ranty on my rant blog rn I’m just in my brain yall