#somg qing is a qing btw

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

A series of university events

Here is the ficlet for the winning option on this poll, Jingyi going through some of the funniest moments/situations I experienced as a university student.

All of these did actually happen, believe it or not, either to me personally, or I was there to witness them.

(The last one was a bit adapted to fit the characters and the theme, but I did argue with my group mates over color accents and other such aspects when we did our project, so there is a grain of truth in there!)

I really hope this is actually funny. Enjoy!

It was 7.15 am when Lan Jingyi stepped into his university building and he didn't know whether he found that ironic, hilarious or eerie.

He had promised himself he would not be cutting it so close to Professor Lan's 8 am class anymore (last time he arrived 53 seconds before the lesson began, as per Ouyang Zizhen's cronometer), but 7.15 was way too early.

It just had to be that day that the Public Transportation Gods decided to smile upon him and have him arrive 45 minutes before Teacher Lan's class. The man was probably still home having his coffee, minding his business, while Jingyi was at school, regretting the extra 30 minutes of sleep he lost.

Jingyi walked up to his class, and was surprised to find one of the cleaning ladies struggling to clean up yesterday's mess. She was equally as surprised to see him, and even checked her watch, panicked.

"Young man, you really scared me, I thought I ran out of time!"

"I'm sorry, didn't mean to do that." A sheepish smile as he chose one of the middle seats. "The commute was surprisingly short today."

He took out his phone to scroll on social media for a bit as began to sip at his coffee, but his eyes inevitably caught onto the cleaning lady's pained expression every time she bent down to pick up discarded papers or small pieces of trash.

Jingyi immediately abandoned his phone, walking up to her to help.

"You really don't need to do that, sweetheart, you're here to learn, not to clean!"

But Jingyi only offered her a reassuring smile, placing all the trash he'd collected into the bin. "You guys work so hard for us, so we have a clean place to study. This is nothing."

And so, Jingyi and the cleaning lady worked together for a few more minutes, rearranging desks, dusting and sweeping. Neither seemed to have realized how quickly time passed, until the door swung open to reveal Jin Ling carrying a massive Starbucks drink in one hand and the keys to his car in the other, a backpack hanging off one of his shoulders.

He looked at Jingyi, then at the cleaning lady, and, as the woman thanked him for the help and left, he couldn't help lowering the rim of his sunglasses with a smirk. "Training for your future workplace?"

Jingyi rolled his eyes. "How are you able to walk around with your head so far up your ass?"

"With great ease in designer shoes." Jin Ling replied, taking the seat in front of Jingyi's. "Now how come you're so early?"

"I'm being responsible."

"Yeah, right, and I'm poor. What other lies are we telling?"

Jingyi half debated throwing his hot coffee in Jin Ling's face but decided against it. There were no coffee shops around close enough for him to go get another and return in time for class.

"You ask about me, but why are you so early?"

"I drove dad to work. His license was suspended for speeding and now he's making me drive him around like a fucking chaffeur!"

"You guys shit money. Why isn't he using an uber or something?"

Jin Ling took a long, tired sip of his drink. "He says it's good driving practice for me. And mom won't drive him because she told him if he gets one more speeding ticket, he's on his own."

Jingyi couldn't help a mischevious grin. "So it looks like you're training for your future workplace too!"

------

Lan Jingyi was hungry. He was pretty sure that his whole class was, it was lunch time after all, and you could hear a stomach growling every few seconds.

Thing is, Jingyi did have food. Plenty of it. Because he knew he would be getting hungry, he had 12h of classes back to back, after all, of course he needed to eat.

The problem was that the professor promised them a 15 minute break halfway through the class... and had yet to deliver on that, droning on about some boring lesson that Jingyi couldn't even be bothered to take notes for. He was too hungry to write, and he could always ask Sizhui to fill him in later.

The professor began drawing something on the board but stopped midway through.

"You guys are not paying any attention to me at all. What's going on?"

"We're so hungry, professor!" A female voice responded, and Jingyi was quick to recognize her as Song Qing, the insanely smart girl two years younger than him that got into university on a gifted kid scholarship.

The professor sighed. "Why didn't you guys say so? I'm hungry too, let's eat up so we focus better! Brains don't work on empty stomachs!"

The class blinked at the man, confused for a few seconds as he took out a pink lunch box from his bag. "What, you think I eat your essays for lunch or something?"

Everyone began pulling out their own food, from sandwiches to cakes, snacks, salads and everything in between.

"You have a cute lunch box." Song Qing commented, barely holding back a giggle.

The professor laughed. "My daughter packed my lunch this morning, okay? She said this is her lucky lunch box, and wanted me to have a good day, so she gave it to me."

The class collectively aww'd at that, before returning to their food. Jingyi greedily bit into his chicken sandwich, hoping to God nobody heard him moan with both delight and relief.

"Jingyi, you really need to stop moaning into your food like that." Zizhen commented as he stabbed a cherry tomato from his to go salad with a fork, "It's weird."

"Have a bite of this and you'll get it." Jingyi offered, and Zizhen shrugged, taking him up on it. The moment flavor filled his mouth, his eyes fluttered closed and a low "mm" escaped him.

"See? It's amazing!"

"Will you guys stop orgasming over food?" Jin Ling intervened. "The rest of us want to eat in peace."

"Food orgasms are the best." Jingyi replied before taking another generous bite of his sandwich.

Jin Ling mumbled something, sinking his spoon in his container of hummus, but Jingyi and Zizhen continued to fawn over their food anyway.

---

When Sizhui returned to his dorm room that day, exhausted after a long day of studying in the library, he had not expected to find his roommate, Jingyi, with a flip flop in one hand and a massive can of big spray in the other, looking nothing short of a hunter.

"Jingyi. What the hell."

"There is a massive cockroach hiding around here." Jingyi answers sternly, eyes searching the floors. "And I am going to kill it."

Sizhui sighed, placed his book bag on his bed and wondered whether to join Jingyi in his hunts or just go to bed and leave him be.

But- "Hah! There you are!" was followed by the comical sound of a flip flop hitting the wooden floors, and Sizhui realized that his friend could do very well without him too.

"So." Jingyi began, placing his weaponry down. "How was today?"

"Exhausting. Did you do any studying?"

"No, I hunted the cockroach."

"Jingyi. The final is in two days."

"I couldn't have focused knowing there was a cockroach."

"Teacher Lan is so going to fail you."

Jingyi sent him a pleading, wet dog look. "And you're just gonna let that happen...? After I saved you from that terrible beast just now?"

"I'm taking Zizhen as my roommate next year."

"As if he doesn't mooch off you too!"

"So you agree. You do mooch off me!"

---

It was once again 6 am on a Monday and Jingyi wanted to die. Well, maybe not die, but definitely sleep. Like the dead.

Still, he had to go to class. Sizhui's didn't start until 12, that lucky bastard, so he had to go through the terrible grogginess of his early morning on his own.

He was just about to get into the shower - bless Sizhui for having picked a room with an en-suite bathroom - when he heard the unmistakable sounds of... well, fucking.

They were doing it in the other room, obviously, but the walls had either thinned out over night or his neighbours just happened to be screamers. Either way, Jingyi's already foul mood was not eased by the litany of moans and begs and curses from the other side of the wall - who fucks at 6 am on a Monday, first of all, and second, who does it so damn loudly too?!

He tried to focus on his own washing up routine, tried arguing to himself that, perhaps, he too would do that if he had someone to do it with, and it was a free country, people could fuck anywhere, any time.

But the moment that he began to hear screaming, all that flew out the window and he knocked loudly into the wall, three consecutive times.

The noise stopped for a while after that, and he was gratefully enjoying the silence, only to hear, loud and clear from the other side: "that's why you get no bitches, man!"

It took all Jingyi had not to go down to their door and start a fight.

God, he hates mornings.

---

"You aren't seriously going to pick golden accents." Jingyi said, incredulous. "That's the most cliche, overdone, boring choice!

Jin Ling rolled his eyes. "It's called timeless, you dumbass. A classic."

"Are we really fighting over decorative accents right now?" Sizhui asked, exasperated. "This whole thing is fictional, guys, it's not real! We aren't actually organizing this art gallery!"

And they were not. For one of their classes, the professor wanted them to come up with an event to organize on the basis of the information he gave them, following a strategy and some pre-defined steps. It was meant to test them on their knowledge, as well as show them what event organizing entails and whether they would be up for a career in the field.

"We have to do it right still!" Jingyi argued. "And I won't have fucking golden accents! I know you Jins have gold for breakfast but this is supposed to be fine art!"

"Your ass has never seen gold filigree and it shows! Gold is elegant, subtle. What colors do you want to use, huh? Magenta?!"

Zizhen sighed. "Calm down, you two. Our gallery theme is Cloud Recesses. There are no golden clouds."

"The sun is yellow!" Jin Ling argued.

Jingyi had to intervene. "It's the Cloud Recesses, not the Sun Recesses!"

"And where the fuck do you think the sun is? Not behind clouds?!"

Sizhui sighed quietly, turning to his other friend as the two kept arguing. "Zizhen, what do you think of light blue?"

"Sounds good. White could work too, but an ashen type, we don't want the contrast to be too obvious."

"I'll write that down. Say, how much did our budget add up to?"

"500k."

"Jin Ling." Sizhui called out, just as he was about to send a book Jingyi's way. "Where do we get 500k from? That's how much the event costs."

"We'll sponsor it. We as in Jin Corp. And add Jiang Corp too, jiujiu wouldn't mind and if he does, I'll threaten him that I'll buy out my stocks."

"Fuckin' capitalist." Jingyi glared, "But if we get such rich sponsorship, we should organize an after party too."

"Oh so I'm a fucking capitalist, but then you go around and spend my money?"

"What good is it for if you don't spend it?"

"You know what? Fair."

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #writing attempts #ljy #lsz #jl #oyzz #somg qing is a qing btw #song lan and xxc adopted her