#sometimes writing cyberpunk means exercising the corporate copywriter in me for cynical purposes

[whitherwanderer]

17 // diagnostic (extra credit)

Welcome to SelfMed, your online personal medical evaluation assistant! If this is a medical emergency, please contact local authorities or Trauma Team for immediate help.

How can SelfMed assist you today?

>> diagnosis

Please list up to five major symptoms for a diagnosis using our QuickMatch™ technology.

[1] fever [2] headache [3] mania [4] hallucinations [5] not recognizing faces

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QuickMatch™ Potential Diagnoses*

The symptoms listed are a complete or partial match to the diseases and disorders below:

Click for more information and recommended treatment options.

Schizophrenia [+]

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) [+]

Cyberpsychosis [–]

Cyberpsychosis is a collective term for all psychotic and anxiety-related personality disorders caused by hardware implanted in the body and any and all behavioral mods, including software. Often this begins as changes to the personality, followed by increasingly erratic and even violent behavior. Some medications and substance abuse can worsen these behaviors. Recommended treatment options: - Therapy - Implant deactivation and/or removal - Bethaloperidol While antipsychotics are widely used to slow the onset of cyberpsychosis, therapy has also proven effective for some patients after years of treatment. Those experiencing aggressive cyberpsychotic symptoms such as violent outbursts should be kept away from public spaces and denied access to weapons until they can be incapacitated, restrained, and removed for treatment. If you or someone you know is experiencing symptoms of cyberpsychosis that result in erratic or violent behavior, remove yourself from any potentially dangerous situations and call MaxTac. Do NOT interrupt MaxTac officers during an ongoing violent situation. DO put as many walls between the situation and yourself as is possible to avoid stray projectiles and bodily harm.

*QuickMatch™ diagnoses are a quick-screening technology and should not be used to replace the services of a trained medical professional.

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Is there something else SelfMed can assist with?

>> nethaloperidol

We’re sorry, but we didn’t recognize that prompt.

Is there something else SelfMed can assist with?

>> bethaloperidol

Searching “bethaloperidol” yielded the following articles:

Bethaloperidol [–]

Bethaloperidol is an antipsychotic used to treat a broad range of disorders, ranging from Schizophrenia to hyperactivity. When prescribed by a doctor in combination with therapy, bethaloperidol has been proven effective in helping patients recover. Bethaloperidol can be taken in pill form or through injection. The most widely used brands are Bethal and Novadol. Though black market bethaloperidol is frequently sold, it is not created in a lab environment where product quality is overseen, it is likely a cheaper alternative that will not address symptoms adequately, and/or it has been cut with other drugs that could be a potentially dangerous cocktail. Brand names are always recommended and more effective than their black market counterparts.

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Enter promo code HEALTH10NOW for a limited time offer of 10% your first month of premium service!

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Is there something else SelfMed can assist with?

>> ripperdoc

Searching “ripperdoc” yielded the following articles:

Ripperdocs: the new GP or back alley surgeon? [+]

Top 10 most horrifying ripperdoc patient stories [+]

Confessions of a street doctor: ripper reveals all [+]

Is there something else SelfMed can assist with?

>> nearest ripperdoc

We’re sorry, but we didn’t recognize that prompt.

Is there something else SelfMed can assist with?

>> fuck off

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#ffxivwrite2023 #[ ffxivwrite2023 ] #[ cyberpunk ] #sunday is au day #sometimes writing cyberpunk means exercising the corporate copywriter in me for cynical purposes