#sometimes one of my irls wld say smth in our server together n she wld occasionally say stuff like

[noxtivagus]

a friend just told me they missed me n my heart just . 🥹🫶🏼

#🌙.rambles #I DONT KNOW WHY I'M #OH NO #while i am soft for a lot of words n phrases n sentiments #this is. the feeling of 'missing' someone is one of the ones that particularly is especially special to me #thinking back earlier on this year.. 2/4 was it? #oh it's been that long n with the way i feel right now i guess i still miss them a bit #maybe not a bit #but they were such a tiny part of my life 🥹 but even so i still miss them #one week was all it took to get attached wtf i guess that's what ppl mean to you when they're there for you in dark times #that was long long ago before the time i started to get more open n all bcs i just reconnected with irls recently then #fuck there are other ppl i associate with the feeling of missing someone but i remember this most keenly right now even if they're #not the person i miss the most #i miss a lot of people huh. thinking of it makes my heart ache a bit but i'm smiling softly w all these precious memories #wish there were more memories but some ppl i've met r long lost in my past #I DIDNT MEAN TO RAMBLE SM BUT I'M REMINISCING NO #that friend back on february tho i remember it was a while since we last talked n #'missed you friend' #i don't know why that touched me so much back then #sometimes one of my irls wld say smth in our server together n she wld occasionally say stuff like #wait is it rlly that weird to see me offline for a long time though 😭 #it's not anything personal usually i'm. actually on invisible just to lurk #i don't have any energy.. :') #thinking of it n recently i haven't talked w anyone for. #no sometimes i just think ohh it's been just a few days yk then reflecting i realize it's been weeks then months then #gradually it gets worse n recently i'm drained enough that. while my thoughts r far from it my actions have become more apathetic #i don't have energy i'm sorry #which is why i need to fix myself or smth n go back to normal #but this is. this feels weird this time around smth has changed permanently. there's this feeling in me that's consistently painful but #hollow n it persists even when i'm happy. but i'm fine i'll overcome it too i'll be back to my normal self