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atlas-of-a-human-soul · 4 years

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Wicked, part 5 (DT royal AU)

Summary: A moment of weakness gives way for a reunion, but an unforgivable betrayal takes place on the same night.

Warnings: swearing, angst, fluff, SMUT

Word count: 3700

WICKED - SERIES MASTERLIST

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For ten days, Grayson wished nothing more but to return to the bed he used to share with his wife. He'd stand before the door with a war raging deep inside, his hand hovering above the knob as if even touching the metal would burn him. Longing for the content sigh she'd let out whenever she laid on his chest as his hand ran up and down her back, Grayson would turn around and walk away regardless. After everything he's said, nothing could put them back together. Had she cared at all, she would have asked him to stay that day...she would have come to him by now and offered an olive branch if nothing more. He would have accepted any attempt she made to make amends, but he received nothing but silence.

In fact, Grayson hadn't even seen let alone heard anything that would indicate the princess was roaming the halls. Most days, Grayson would see her in the garden as she'd tend to the flowers his mother once planted, or she'd simply watch the crashing waves – craving home, no doubt. But sometimes, if he was truly lucky, she'd sit in the study with him and read a book. She'd be silent, usually sitting in a corner by the window, but even her presence was enough for Grayson to relax.

Now?

There was no sign of her anywhere.

''You really need to talk to your wife, Grayson.“ Cameron and Ethan walked in with a resolve to make the issue at hand disappear. While it pained him greatly, Ethan agreed to help although he found the situation to be quite promising for his future endeavors.

''I did that and we got nowhere, so I'm not about to go and bow to the princess of a country I frankly owe nothing to. She's the one who's made this into a war instead of a loving marriage and I'm not going to demean myself anymore.“ Grayson spoke without even looking up, his eyes focused on the pile of documents he'd been reading, amending and signing to improve his kingdom. If he couldn't solve his personal issues, he'd make damn sure he solves everyone else's.

''That was true until we heard Lady Mareen express her worries about the princess and her state. Grayson she's barely eating or sleeping. She's not alright and she's refusing to speak to anyone as well.“ Cameron crossed her arms over her chest, watching her brother carefully as he sighs heavily and bows his head.

How can he help her when he's probably the last person she wants to see? To be perfectly honest, Grayson's barely slept as well. He finds it a difficult feat without the sound of her soft breathing.

''And I'm supposed to do what? She hates me, remember?“ Grayson raised an eyebrow, looking for a reason to avoid seeing her. If it's so hard to stay away when he barely sees her, how would he possibly stay away after he's reminded of her beauty? Even worse, how would he stay away when she's unwell? She's always on his mind regardless, but knowing she's ill would tear him apart and he didn't want to feel that...his heartbreak was painful as it is.

''She knows you best out of everyone here at court. If Mareen couldn't get through to her, you can. After all, it started when you decided to fuck up your life.“ Cameron sassed, well equipped to deal with any excuse he provides her with.

''I'll see her later today. I have work to do so go away.“ Shooing them away, Grayson waited until he was alone in the study to finally let out the shaky breath he was holding. He loves Y/N, truly loves her, but he has no strength left to fight for her or with her. Seeing her would send him back to ground zero, but he couldn't ignore the problem.

He waited for the darkness to set in before he pulled himself together and walked back to the door he had stood before every night since he tried ending things with her. Grayson felt oddly nervous, his hands trembling as if it was their first time all over again. Shaking his head, he let a nervous chuckle escape him.

Why should he feel nervous about speaking to his wife? She was his by right and to speak to her is his right as well.

When he opened the door to their bedroom, he found the most unlikely sight – Y/N laid up to her neck in a tub of steamy water. Her hair is piled atop her head in a soft mass of curls. Her eyes are closed, her head resting on the rim of the tub. The water must have been very hot because her face was lightly dampened with sweat. All his muscles froze at the sight of her. She had frowned at him before, raged at him more times than he can count and even then she was magnificent, but now she was innocence personified. Suddenly he knew that this was what he wanted from her, this was all he needed – her presence if not her love. What should it matter if she despised him? She was his and his alone. His heart was pounding as he closed the door behind him.

"Mareen?" Y/N said languidly. Receiving no answer, her eyes flew open. She saw the pensive look on Grayson's face and knew his thoughts. In spite of herself, her heart began beating quickly.

"Is there something I can help you with?" she managed to whisper. It crossed his mind she was actually speaking to him despite the claims she was hardly speaking to anyone. It only made his heart wilder, less restrained in its need to feel her hand over it.

He ignored her words as he advanced, his dark eyes grown darker. He bent over her, took her defiant chin in his hand. She tried to pull away but he held her fast. He kissed her, roughly at first but then his grip and kiss became gentle, deep – a proper lover’s kiss.

Y/N felt herself drifting. The pleasure of the hot water, his hand on her cheek, his kiss, it weakened her. He pulled away from her and looked deep into her eyes, the gold warm and glowing fire behind them setting his own light ablaze. All thoughts of hatred were gone from them. There was only the nearness of their bodies. Their hunger for each other overcame any hostility or even thoughts of who loved whom.

Grayson knelt by the tub, his hand moving to the back of Y/N's neck. He kissed her again, ran his mouth along the curve of her neck. She was moist and warm and the rising steam was like his growing passion. He was ready, but he wanted to prolong his pleasure, drag it out to the height of near-pain. Her ears were sweet and smelled of the rose-scented soap she used that he missed so terribly.

Suddenly he wanted to see her - all of her. Grayson put his hands under Y/N's arms and lifted her in one swift move. She gasped at the unexpected movement, at the coolness of the air after the heat the water provided. A soft, warm towel hung within arm's reach, which Grayson wrapped her in – slowly, allowing his eyes to fall to her belly long enough to see she’s not showing yet, but might soon – long enough for him to press a quick kiss to it.

Y/N couldn’t speak. Somewhere, buried in her mind, was the knowledge that words would break the spell. He touched her tenderly - no harsh demands, no bruising. He sat on a bench before the fire and stood her between his legs as if she were a child.

Had someone spoken of such a scene months ago, Y/N would have denied that it could happen, that Grayson was an insensitive brute, a savage with no manners and no ability to love or care for anyone but himself. She felt no embarrassment by her nudity while he remained fully clothed, only wonder at the magic of the moment. Grayson dried her carefully. He was a bit clumsy, too rough at times, too gentle at others.

"Turn," he commanded and she obeyed without a word as he dried her back. He tossed the towel to the floor and Y/N held her breath. But he didn’t speak. Scaring her into a small gasp, he ran his fingers down the deep indentation of her spine. She could feel the chills his touch brought. His one finger said more than a hundred caresses.

"You are beautiful," he whispered throatily as he placed his palms on the curve of her hips. "So very beautiful."

She did not breathe, even when she felt his lips on the side of her neck. His hands moved so torturously slow to her stomach, across her ribs and up to her breasts, which waited for him, begged for him. She released the breath she held in anticipation and leaned back against him, her head resting against his shoulder, his mouth still on her neck. He ran his hands over her, touching her skin, exploring her body.

“Is that all I am to you? Just a beautiful body?” She whispered, afraid her words might end the gentle intimacy he bestowed upon her in a time of dire need.

She had barely slept without him – the bed felt alien without his warm embrace and the sound of his heartbeat as she slept on his chest. She could hardly eat with morning sickness deciding to spread to the entire day and no one could quite bring the food he used to surprise her with every morning and night – the food they brought smelled bad and tasted bland. She never felt so alone, not since her mother died and then Andrea too. She missed him more than anything and she didn’t know how to step on her pride and try to tell him so.

“You’re my weakness…the one thing I lack power against. Whether it’s loving you when you’re near and driving me absolutely mad or feeding your memory after you were gone. It’s just not in me to do nothing and let you slip away.” Pressing a kiss to her shoulder, Grayson leaned on it just enough to feel that in some way she wouldn’t let him fall. “Even if you hate me, my fierce, incredibly stubborn wife, I will love you until the last beat of my heart is drowned out and air can’t fill my lungs anymore.”

But she didn’t hate him, not at all. She loves every bit of him and not just the polished, pressed parts that the world sees and makes assumptions about, but the ragged, tattered parts of him that he hides because he thinks no one would understand. She loves all the pieces that make up who he is. And she’s not even sure she knows what real love is, but she believes it must be something like that.

When Y/N was nearly insane with desire and driven to tears by his confessions, he carried her to the bed. In a matter of seconds, his clothes were on the floor and he was beside her. She pulled him to her, sought his mouth. He laughed at her grasping hands, teasing her, but there was no ridicule in his chocolate eyes. There was only the wish for prolonging their pleasure. A sparkle came to her eyes, and she knew she would have the last laugh. Her hands moved downward. When she found what she sought, there was no more laughter in his eyes. They were black with passion as he pushed her down beside him.

It wasn’t long before their pleasure reached its high and they were both released from their sweet torment. Y/N felt drained, her bones weak as Grayson moved partially away, though his leg was still across hers, his arm across her breasts. She sighed deeply just before falling asleep for the first time in ten days.

When Y/N woke just before the morning, her arm slid across the sheet only to meet emptiness. Her eyes opened wide. Grayson was gone and the looming dawn had little to no effect on her desire to get out of the bed. Her first thought was to hurry to his study and continue their love-making this stormy night, but the warm bed and the memory from just a few hours ago kept her where she was. Y/N turned to her side, ran her hand over the indented place beside her, and buried her face in his pillow. It still smelled of Grayson – the same scent she came to know so quickly that it frightened her.

She smiled dreamily. That night had been heaven. She remembered Grayson's eyes, his mouth, his wandering hands - he filled her every vision.

A soft knock on the door sent her heart beating, then calmed abruptly when Mareen opened it.

“You must wake!” Mareen rushed inside, clearly distressed by some unknown complications Y/N couldn’t even comprehend in her state.

“What’s happened?” Y/N whisper shouted, allowing her lady to dress her as quickly as possible. “Where’s Grayson?” She pressed, needing to know if the news are of him and the foretold death she had seen. Shivering, she had to bite her lower lip to stop a strangled cry from escaping her with the thought. She had planned on telling him how much she loves him when they woke tangled in the sheets come morning light. She wanted to forgive him for all the sins those before him committed, the ones she’s been holding him accountable for. She would have laid down her armor and let him in, but if he died without knowing her heart lies with him? That would break her.

“The King arms himself.” Mareen replied and Y/N felt bile rise in her throat. It’s only a matter of seconds before she spills the empty contents of her stomach, the news knotting her insides.

“Why? Why would he arm himself?!” Y/N didn’t bother hiding the panic nor clear emotion she held for the young king. There wasn’t anyone or anything she would hide her feelings before. She loves Grayson Dolan and no one can stop her from feeling that.

“Because Dracovia is lost. The bridge was finished last night and Dracovia was attacked a little before that. It’s said Astros outposts had fought with the Dracovians, but the King is about to join them with the rest of the army. My Queen, I believe your father had been killed in the attack as well.”

Unable to hold it in any longer as nausea clawed at her throat, chunks of partially digested chicken from the soup she ate spewed out of her coughing, choking mouth. Her stomach kept on contracting violently and forcing everything up and out. Her face was white and dripping bile, sweat, and tears. She lurched forward and sunk to her knees. The pungent stench invaded her nostrils and she heaved even though there was nothing left to go.

“Get me a glass of water and a mint.” Y/N demanded as she wiped her mouth and chin with wet wipes. She had to clean herself up and present herself as the proper royal she is meant to be. She is no longer just a princess, a pawn in someone’s game. From this night and forth, she’d be the player, the one making power moves across the board – she’ll be the queen as her mother was before her, and not just any queen – the dragon queen.

Once dressed and seemingly collected, the queen moved swiftly across the marble floors with such grace and elegance that those who witnessed it were left without a breath of their own.

She marched straight into Grayson’s study, aware there’s a war meeting going on without even checking first. It’s what she’d do if she was in control of her army on this night.

“Princess Y/N, I hate that we meet under these circumstances.” One of the knights she recognized quickly as the man who had been her sworn sword since birth – the one she left behind as she set off to marry Grayson, the man she now loved.

“Sir Mance, you and I both know this was inevitable. Now let’s discuss how we’re planning to take back my throne.” She didn’t waste time, shifting her attention to Grayson who stared at her with mouth open and a clear surprise in his eyes.

“I’m taking an army, but it’s hard to truly do much when we’re only able to access Dracovia over the bridge that hasn’t passed an inspection yet.” Grayson explained, showing the map.

Y/N chuckled, shaking her head before turning around to Sir Mance. “Send out an order to put down the magnetic fields when the army is in reach. I’m sure that will help Astros in finding a way in.” She cocked an eyebrow when Grayson caught her eye, now aware why Dracovia was always an unreachable destination with any form of planes or submarines – they used a magnetic field powerful enough to destroy anything that comes close without permission. He was impressed.

“Have one of the submarines wait for me onshore in half an hour, we’re leaving soon.” Y/N gave out a second order, but this time it wasn’t met with enthusiasm.

“You’re not coming.” Grayson chuckled at the notion, shaking his head as if she was joking. Not only is she with child, but she is a woman with no battle experience and the Queen in case Dracovia’s king was truly dead. Grayson had no intention of risking her life for her pride to be honored.

“I’m likely their Queen now. No one will stop me from taking my rightful place at the throne of Dracovia as the dragon Queen with the old magic still running in my veins.” Y/N spoke through gritted teeth, her rage evident in her shaky hands as she slammed them on the table before him. In a room filled with several seasoned warriors, they’ve all felt fear of her rage – some because they believed she might turn into the dragon from all the stories they heard and some because their queen could kill them for the betrayal they would soon commit.

“You will not be joining us. That’s final.” Grayson ordered, unyielding in his decision and for good reason – or so he told himself.

“Try to stop me.” She smirked, turning her back on him. But she found the obstacles to be great once her path was blocked by two guards and her sworn sword made no attempt to remove them.

“Seize her.” Grayson nearly choked as he spoke the words. The guards didn’t wait, taking the queen by her arms and lifting her as they moved fast and away. Grayson and Ethan followed them closely, listening to her threats, the desperation in her voice growing as they near the tower where all the prisoners are held.

“Let me go, you savages!” She screamed as they placed her inside one of the rooms - a room so clearly made up for her that she wondered just how long had this been planned. Had Grayson planned on having her incarcerated for months? Was he the invader?

“What do you think you’re doing?” She whisper shouted as he entered the room as well, his gaze wandering instead of meeting hers bravely as he used to do.

“My country is in peril and you want me to sit here and what? Knit? Sing songs of the brave soldiers that would be lost in the fight while their queen is nowhere to be found? How should they trust me as their ruler when I am not on the front lines with my troops?!” She screamed, tears falling freely from her wide eyes as she lost control entirely.

“You married a future Queen Grayson, not some commoner! I am my country and right now my country is burning! If you do this…I will never forgive you. I will never love you! Everything you get from me will be taken by force!” She threatened, stepping before him with those doe eyes he loved so much but could hardly look at right now. Not when he had so much to hide from her. Not when he was doing things for her benefit, but in a way she’d never agree to. It just happens the window of opportunity is on this stormy night, the same night she had let him back into her bed…the same night he will likely lose her love for good.

“So be it.” Grayson remarked, trying to walk away as she grabbed onto his elbow and tried to turn him back to meet her guarded eyes.

“You told me you love. You were honest with me, I believe that. So why are you being such a coward now? Tell me the truth about who attacked Dracovia and why you’re really locking me up in the tower. I might not be crowned yet, but I am the Queen of Dracovia. You can’t keep me here.” She didn’t use the royal tone where every word sounded like a command, but the soft one she’d use when they were all alone in their bed, holding each other for dear life. She used the voice of a loving wife, the one he longed to hear for so long.

“Do you want those words to be empty? For my trust in you to go unanswered? Is this what you really want?” She tried again.

“Astros is the invader, that’s the truth.” Ethan quipped, annoyed with his brother and the silence he clings to. But as she got her answer, Y/N’s hand opened and she let her husband go. The betrayal had slashed her, but she had no strength to parry with vengeance. She thought indifference would be better as she wiped her tears away.

“You’re dead to me, Grayson Bailey Dolan. Both of you are dead to me.”

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