#so the kitten might be an impulse decision because i spent a lot of saturday crying

[faraway-there]

putting off sleep like a boss because i had a migraine earlier today and napped longer than i should have so i'm wide awake now but it's too hot and humid to do anything so i'm just procrastinating.

i still have to go to work today, so sleep would be kind of nice so i'm not dragging during my shift. not to mention i have a union meeting afterward that i take notes for that i'd also like to not be dragging through.

and this whole weekend... past week... past week and a half? has been kind of a drag on the family front that has us all bummed, and as such i put in an application to adopt a new kitten because, why not? i need a new distraction, and apparently books and rp isn't cutting it completely, so a new kitten it is. hopefully. they have to approve the application, but if they do she comes home next saturday.

am i pretending like my hoa doesn't have a rule about only two cats? of course i am. i own my condo, so i figure they're unlikely to just drop in and investigate. my oldest cat is turning 12 today, and he's really starting to slow down; because he's overweight, i know he's not going to live as long as my last cat did (i had to put her down at 19), so i know that to offset the giant hole in my other cat's heart i need to start pairing him now so the transition will be smooth. this is about the same age my first cat was when i got the now-12-year old cat.

but also, i've been wanting a kitten for like the past four years, and i feel like with the family drama going on i deserve this.

#personal #do you ever just feel worn down when things go wrong for people you love? #especially a very bad kind of wrong that can't be undone? #because we're a little in mourning #thankful for some things but just sad and feeling guilty about other things #and it all sounds vague but i swear it's not tragic bad just plain old bad and unfair #so the kitten might be an impulse decision because i spent a lot of saturday crying #but also it's kitten season at the shelter right now #and i just need a new good thing in my life #adulting is the worst kind of business out there guys #trying to keep it all together when i just want to burrow under my covers with my cats is hard #but i still have to go to work and do all the things #make money for those upcoming student loans #plan programs for kids for fall #shake my sillies out during storytime #and try not to throttle a coworker because i'm at the end of my rope with them #deep breaths don't always work #and i never have enough chocolate to compensate