#so like. all choices available are unbearable so of course he'd want to go with the one where he doesn't have to live on with even more

[sel-jpg]

[ pls don't rb; i am purposefully not putting this in the tag bc i know i currently just cannot do the "rb after rb with big paragraphs of text" kinda discussion. feel absolutely free to send a reply or an ask if u want to comment on this but i just want to put the disclaimer of "this is kind of a figuring out my own thoughts/rambling about a pet peeve kind of post rather than a proper invitation for discussion" on this ]

honestly i am kinda sick of seeing points like "melanie, georgie, basira and martin are robbing jon of his agency by not wanting to do what he wants to do" like. sorry but this is not a dilemma about jon's life alone. it's about all of them, all of the people in their world and people in other universes.

the people robbed of their agency in this dilemma are in fact the people currently suffering in domains and also the people in other universes bc they cannot even take part and argue their point in this discussion. they in fact do not even know it's happening.

yes, lack of agency is a central theme in jon's story and my heart breaks for him because truly no one deserves to go through even a fraction of what he went through but giving him back his agency means giving him control over his own life back, not letting him decide over countless lives in multiple universes (including! basira's , martin's, melanie's and georgie's. like, they are allowed to argue against their own death, right? RIGHT?)

yes jon's been wronged by the others before. yes he's honestly still owed a bit more of an apology by some of them. no that does not mean he gets to decide about this alone.

#also let's not act like jonös motives are completely unselfish and therefore his choice is better #like. on the question of 'can i live with my choices yes/no' he is very much on the no side imo #so like. all choices available are unbearable so of course he'd want to go with the one where he doesn't have to live on with even more #guilt afterwards and can maybe even die feeling like he managed to prevent future suffering in other worlds #and i absolutely do not blame him for that at all #i just think it's wrong to frame it as an altruistic vs selfish thing when imo there's no unselfish choice here #and in the end whether they choose something for selfish or altruistic reasons doesn't really matter to the big picture does it #whoops that was supposed to be *jon's in the first tag #anyways just. hm. much to think about #sel.txt #it's shitty from every angle that they're the ones who have to make this choice at all tbh #damn this post took me long to write almost an hour i think