#so i had the privilege of moderating/interviewing but also had the privilege to hang out and it was a blast | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rxbodybuilding · 4 years

Link

posted by Intimador at WCBB Protein: How it initiates muscle growth I was privy to information spoken at a bodybuilding seminar by a guest poser from a contest I had entered. This person was enormous, alleged to have 27" biceps and admitted that he was "not exactly" a natural bodybuilder. When asked how he achieved such gargantuan proportions, he answered "protein, plenty of protein." It was obvious this individual needed more protein than the average bodybuilder; however, I am convinced that some very top grade pharmaceuticals were responsible for his physique. His arms would hang to their sides and his biceps would not elongate, but instead, they had the appearance of softballs stuck under their skins. Mike Mentzer had stated in his writings not to take his word for something just because he won a few physique contests. He wanted bodybuilders to think and understand the concepts of exercise science and nutrition. Unfortunately, a lot of the competitors were seeking the guest poser's advice about which supplement or exercise is best to increase their size, strength, and definition. After he gave them some friendly information, they would each walk away as though they had found the Holy Grail to a championship physique. I found this analogous to asking a Gorilla as to what makes him so strong or quizzing the Cheetah on how he became the fastest land animal. The former would give me a few grunts, and the latter would have me for a snack. It is obvious that these two noble beasts (and many athletes) could not articulate in any fashion as to how they became either strong or fast; their DNA determined that for them. Many bodybuilders with little or no knowledge of biology, anatomy or nutrition, put themselves out there as experts on both nutrition and training, when the truth behind their results is good genetics (good metabolisms and adaptability to exercise stress). I have engaged many bodybuilders who endorse certain training and nutrition methods but receive no "scientific explanation," and when I pressed further, they would simply say "they have been around the sport for "x" number of years" - end of story. Many of the muscle magazines would have you believe you need to consume a "horn of plenty" filled with protein supplements every day to build muscle. Mike Mentzer has spoken about the fact that bodybuilders require about 25% of their calories from protein, and some nutrition scientists are now purporting we may need between 10% to 35%, depending on our activity and lifestyle. Both of these recommendations are higher than the Food Guide Pyramid's 10-15%. I had the privilege to speak with Donald Layman, Professor of Nutrition Division of Nutritional Sciences, Department of Medicine at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign per telephone interview. He stated that protein foods high in the amino acid leucine (dairy and meats) help maintain muscle mass while promoting fat loss. Protein has a satiating affect and leucine regulates insulin, which helps better control blood glucose (sugar) leading to a more successful weight management program. According to Dr. Layman, eating protein rich foods consumed soon after exercise may speedup muscle recovery. Leucine appears to have an impact on skeletal muscle and is a direct regulator of protein synthesis. Examples of complete protein foods that contain leucine are beef, chicken, fish, dairy, and eggs. These foods are balanced with the other amino acids; therefore, it would be unwise at this point to take a leucine amino acid supplement. Layman recommends a protein range of 1.4 to 2.0 grams per kilogram of bodyweight. This range happens to fall within the safe and adequate guidelines of the Dietary Reference Intakes (DRIs). So a liberal intake for a 200 pound (90 kilogram) bodybuilder of 2.0 grams per kilo would come to about 182 grams of protein. Dr. Layman explains other points worth noting about protein. First, Marathon runners actually may need more protein secondary to depletion of glycogen. During a long race, they burn triglycerides as fuel, but when they turn up the intensity, thus increasing their pace, they begin to use glycogen (stored glucose) in the muscles for fuel. Higher protein intake helps the body develop and stabilize blood glucose by increasing the ability of the liver to make glucose from the amino acids, and also allowing the muscles to re-cycle the glucose carbons from the muscle to the liver to be re-made into blood glucose." Secondly, Dr. Layman asserts that protein certainly does not cause kidney failure in normal functioning kidneys. However, in cases of pre-existing renal failure (i.e. diabetes) individuals may get benefit from lower solute loads, such as salts or urea. It is also questionable at what point a "low protein" diet is beneficial, because low protein intake causes kidney atrophy. So the trade off is lower solutes and lower rates of protein turnover (normal repair processes). Finally, Dr. Layman claims that gout is never caused by high protein intakes. Gout is a metabolic disorder, an issue of purines (orotic acid) and is only related to protein in the potential that some red meats are high in purines, but so are some plants. If one has gout, they may gain relief by a diet lower in these types of foods. As a registered dietitian, working with hospital patients, athletes and people wanting to get back in shape, I am typically asked the following questions about protein: Q. How many grams of protein do I require daily? A. In my liberal example, a person engaging in high intensity training or Dr. Layman's long distance running example may need between 1.6 to 2.0 grams per kilogram (2.2 pounds) of body weight, while a couch potato may only require 1.4 grams per kilogram of body weight. Q. Shouldn't protein intake vary per person depending on body size? A. The more you weigh, as a result of training, the more protein you will require. For example, using 2.0 grams per kilogram of bodyweight for an individual weighing 175 pounds (80 kilograms) would require they consume about 160 grams of protein daily. However, after gaining ten pounds of muscle, resulting in a weight of 185 pounds (84 kilograms), that same person would need 168 grams of protein daily. Q. Should I be eating every 2 hours (6 meals a day) with each meal having protein? A. Let me answer the last part of this question first. Each meal should have some protein, because protein helps regulate blood glucose and provides satiety (fullness or satisfaction). I would recommend 3 meals and a snack daily and not to let more than 4-5 hours go by without eating. This will help you have control over your Calorie intake and meet requirements from other food groups. Q. How do I measure protein in grams? A. 1. One ounce of meat, fish, poultry, or lean pork contains 7 grams of Protein. 2. One egg, two tablespoons of natural peanut butter, or ½ cup of dried beans, peas, or lentils each provide 7 grams of protein. 3. ½ cup of cooked vegetables or 1 cup of leafy greens provides 5 grams of protein. 4. 1 cup of milk or yogurt, or 1 ounce of natural cheese typically provides 8 grams of protein. 5. Typically, one serving of grains (either 1 slice of bread, or ½ cup of rice, or ½ cup of pasta, or ½ cup of cereal provides 3 grams of protein-amount of protein varies on brand of cereal). 6. Always read the Nutrition Facts panel on food packaging that tells you the serving size and how many macronutrients are in each serving. If you do not have a calorie booklet that breaks down the food into Carbs, Protein, and Fats, I recommend you purchase one. Make sure that about 70% of your protein comes from meat, fish, eggs (or egg whites), or poultry. The complete protein provided by these foods works with the incomplete protein that comes from other food sources. Thus, your body makes the best of all the protein you consume. If you consume too much protein, and therefore too many Calories beyond your growth and maintenance needs, you will simply get fat. If you follow a restricted carbohydrate diet and replace the majority of carbohydrate foods with protein, the body will convert the protein to glucose for energy. The excess protein will not cause any further muscle growth beyond what has been stimulated from the previous workout. In regards to HIT training, I personally have a moderate amount of protein with some complex carbohydrates before a workout and make sure that I am well hydrated before and after. This way my workouts are productive, and I have gained 8 pounds of muscle in the past two months. My intensity during the workout is related to the fact that my protein intake in combination with carbohydrate and fat stabilizes my blood glucose for a steady supply of energy and allows for intense contractions. I want to point out that going out of one's way to consume large amounts of protein daily is a laborious task because, as described above, they satisfy your appetite for an extended period of time and aid in reducing the intake of too many Calories. Also, it becomes an exercise in futility to consume protein supplements, especially when they are unnecessary. It is simple and less expensive to meet your protein requirements with food. If a lot of the elite bodybuilders were intellectually honest, they would tell you that steroid intake was the impetus behind their muscle gains. As for you "natural" bodybuilders," stimulate growth with Mike Mentzer's HEAVY DUTY high-intensity training first, and then gobble down that chicken breast. by Paul Skinner, MS RD LD

#growxxl #forum

1 note · View note

ana-anne · 4 years

Text

In writing unique people

Now, as a writer, I am completely aware of how hard it is to create a unique and still fully developed character voice. I don’t know what it is, maybe an innate human inability to be anyone than one’s self, or perhaps it’s just difficult to visualize the inside of another person’s mind. Either way, I sympathize with creators who struggle with this, so I have some tips! Character voices are one thing I have been praised for a lot, so let’s see if I’m actually good at it or if people have just been lying to me.

1. Not everyone is deep or has some big secret. That is a huge misconception, often made in YA fiction. The first thing you’ll have to decide is if your character has depth or not. Have they faced a lot of trauma and have a generally difficult life? They are probably more mature than others, with more self- awareness, a more cautious and calculating attitude, etc. The specific things they had to deal with and their reactions to those things may alter a character’s personality as well. Some people become distrusting and isolated after trauma, while others are very social and charming in order to get their mind off of things haunting them. This is up to you to decide. On the other hand, if a character is privileged or had a generally easy life, they will likely be more “basic” and shallow. Their biggest problems may be relationship issues or rich parents being away for business (trust me, this actually happens). The problems these two types of people face are obviously different, but what a small deal for someone may be a huge deal to someone else.

2. Unique hobbies, interests, and ticks. This is hugely important to make your characters realistic. So take a look at people around you, and yourself! What are some things you like or dislike? What parts of pop culture do you care about? Do you think about politics or not? What little ticks or habits do you have? This doesn’t just apply to contemporary fiction, it is also super useful in fantasy or sci-fi, to help make your characters more relatable in a completely different world. For example, the smell of lemons makes me sick, I hate the feel of wool, I find chocolates gross, I love the rain, I collect weird rubber ducks, sometimes I write random words on my wall, and I love the sound of the acoustic guitar. And as for my ticks, sometimes when I’m anxious I rub the inside of my elbow because it feels like it isn’t creased enough (I know, I’m insane), and I lift up my pinky every time I pick something up out of habit. Little details like this make a world of difference when crafting a character. Our personality isn’t the only thing that makes us up. But beware, too many details and you’ll distract your readers.

3. Reactions, reactions, reactions. This is something I see overlooked so much. Not everyone reacts how you see people in movies do, I’ve never audibly gasped before, I don’t pass out after hearing shocking news, I don’t burst out crying when I’m sad, I don’t get mad when people bump into me on the street. In fact, when something scary does happen, I completely freeze up. If I saw someone about to get hit by a car, I wouldn’t be able to say anything or move at all, because that’s what terror does to me. I rarely see that reaction in stories, which is odd, because it isn’t uncommon. This is obviously dependent on the person, but remember that not everything has to be cliche and simple.

4. Conversations in real life aren’t perfect. People mess up, we mishear things and stutter and respond with basic comments because we aren’t creative enough to come up with another reply. Anxious people worry if we are saying the right thing, if we’re adding to the conversation by telling our own story or being self-absorbed, if we’re being friendly enough. Keep in mind, mental illness can severely get in the way of someone’s social life and, sometimes folks can come off as unsettling or unstable, or awkward and anxious. Don’t be afraid to go outside of the norm for dialogue, everyone feels differently in social situations and I’m tired of writers ignoring the imperfections of human interaction. I wouldn’t exactly recommend making every conversation realistic, because that would be boring, but everything in moderation!

4. Class 👏 affects 👏 personality. While not everyone is changed by their class standing, one is almost always influenced by it. Take a look at people who grew up rich and privileged, some of them are completely self-absorbed and arrogant. Not because they are bad people, but because they had nothing to knock them down or teach them lessons as kids. Where and how we grow up affects everything. People who are less fortunate can sometimes be callous and argumentative, not because they are bad people either, but because they weren’t handed everything as a kid. This also applies to culture, which can completely alter a person’s speech habits, attire, taste in pop culture, and stance in politics. Now, not every black or Asian or Mexican person celebrates their culture. I’m Irish and Spanish and my family and I don’t really participate in their holidays. Same thing goes for queer people, some of them love to learn about the AIDS crisis and Stonewall, while others don’t care. This, again, is your choice.

5. A little psychological fact for ya, people’s relationships and friendships are heavily influenced by their bond (or lack thereof) with their parents. Think, why do you hang around the people you do? Why do you like that specific trait in a partner? Why do you put up with mistreatment? And more importantly, what are your character’s relationships like and why? An example for anyone who might not understand, someone who was severely neglected as a child will likely search for a partner who can take care of them (much like a parent would). And someone who was abused might put up with abuse in a relationship too, because they have been caught up in that sort of cycle.

6. Speaking of parents, what were your character’s guardians like? Were they stable role models, unstable messes, or somewhere in between? How did they raise their child, how did they punish them, how did they treat their education and their friends? Keep in mind, all of this and more can influence a child (aka, your character). Some people with mentally ill parents may suffer or be affected in unique ways. Kids with a narcissistic parent are at risk of becoming acclimating, selfless, and desperate for approval, often becoming the “therapist friend”. People with a depressed parent may become depressed themselves, and more. Do your research on this type of thing, because the results can be very interesting!

7. A good way to put all of this information together is to write them down into thought bubbles, make a concept map of character details and smash them together into a hot mess like the rest of us. Interview the charcter, imagine an entire day in their life, ask yourself how their friends and family see them. Put yourself in their shoes, as a new person. It’s hard, but ultimately your charcter will come out much more developed than before.

3 notes · View notes

coin-river-blog · 5 years

Link

On May 2, the Bitcoin.com podcast series Humans of Bitcoin published an interview with early bitcoin supporter Jason King who became a moderator for Reddit forum r/bitcoin in late 2012. During the interview, King tells podcast host Matt Aaron how the forum r/bitcoin went from a fun area on the web to an environment filled with censorship and manipulation.

Also read: Crypto Community Monitors Bitfinex Wallets and the Strange 6% BTC Premium

Jason King Recalls Witnessing Heavy Censorship While Moderating R/Bitcoin

There’s been many detailed posts concerning the censorship and propaganda tied to the Reddit forum r/bitcoin. In fact, the forum’s lead moderator Theymos controls r/bitcoin, bitcointalk.org, and the en.bitcoin.it/ (Wiki) page as well. This week, Bitcoin.com’s podcast host and coordinator, Matt Aaron, discussed what it was like to be a moderator for r/bitcoin with the well-known bitcoiner Jason King. According to King, he became a moderator for the forum at the end of 2012 and he believes the manipulation that took place was “actually one of the bigger tragedies in the space.”

Former r/bitcoin mod Jason King.

King recalls that in the early days, the most popular subreddit was one of the coolest places to hang out on the internet. Back then, even if people had different views they wished each other well, King remarked. King said he was privileged to be a part of the Bitcoin Reddit community and even more so when he was given the moderator role. Over time, however, the sentiment starting changing and there was a lot of negativity starting to grow.

“I had this view of it from inside of getting to watch us [r/bitcoin moderators] trying to mod bad content and being overridden by the owner of r/bitcoin,” King revealed to Bitcoin.com podcast host Matt Aaron. “Basically when the block size debate started, anything to do with a larger block in any context — talking about larger block size for r/bitcoin just started getting killed.

And then it became this really crazy thing where if you just talked about wanting bigger blocks in Bitcoin — Then Theymos would just say: ‘Well if you want bigger blocks, that’s an altcoin’ or ‘That’s not Bitcoin so you can’t talk about that here.’

King says during his time as an r/bitcoin moderator “thousands of posts were blocked.”

Theymos, the ‘Bitcoin Media Monopoly,’ and How R/Bitcoin Toxicity Still Exists to This Day

King insisted that the censored posts were not just a small amount of discussion as “thousands of posts got blocked.” The former r/bitcoin moderator also said it was a very “weird time” and most of the people that made r/bitcoin great had left the forum and moved on. After a while, the forum went from not fun to extremely toxic and “a really negative part of the community,” King stressed. The early bitcoin enthusiast further emphasized that the forum is still toxic to this day. After discussing the beginning stages of censorship, the conversation turned to r/bitcoin owner Theymos and his “Bitcoin media monopoly.” During the end of the discussion, King also commented on how Theymos said King’s mod account was considered “compromised” and described how he was eventually removed from the r/bitcoin mod team.

If you want to hear the rest of this interesting discussion with Jason King revealing his unique experience as an r/bitcoin moderator, check out the video below.

youtube

What do you think about the detailed discussion on how r/bitcoin changed into a censorship-ridden environment from the eyes of a former moderator? Let us know what you think about this subject in the comments section below.

Image credits: Shutterstock, Bitcoin.com Podcast, Jason King, Reddit, r/bitcoin, and Pixabay.

Have you seen our Bitcoin Cash (BCH) tips generator? Anyone can create tips in order to give BCH by email or printable tickets. Recipients easily redeem tips by visiting a web page with instructions, and if the funds are not redeemed you get the money back. Check it out today!

Tags in this story

Bigger Blocks, Bitcointalk.org, Block Size, censor, Censorship, Jason King, Lead Moderator, Manipulate, matt aaron, moderating, Moderator, N-Featured, Owner of r/bitcoin, r/bitcoin, scaling debate, subReddit, Theymos

Jamie Redman

Jamie Redman is a financial tech journalist living in Florida. Redman has been an active member of the cryptocurrency community since 2011. He has a passion for Bitcoin, open source code, and decentralized applications. Redman has written thousands of articles for news.Bitcoin.com about the disruptive protocols emerging today.

(function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = 'https://connect.facebook.net/en_US/sdk.js#xfbml=1&version=v3.2'; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); }(document, 'script', 'facebook-jssdk'));

0 notes

i-am-very-very-tired · 6 years

Link

Matt Damon spent October in a haze of denial, his shifting stories coming across as less and less believable as he tried to explain what he knew and when he knew it about Harvey Weinstein. His first version was that he never knew anything about anything with Weinstein. Then he admitted that, oh right, Ben Affleck had told him that Weinstein had harassed Gwyneth Paltrow. Then Matt settled on a defense of “well I never saw Harvey Weinstein rape anyone right in front of me.” To be clear, Matt Damon is not responsible for Harvey Weinstein. But it came across as really sh-tty for Matt to play dumb, like he had been consciously oblivious to everything bad about Weinstein.

Well, Matt Damon is currently promoting Downsizing. He’s being very quiet about it, hoping that he doesn’t get any questions about Weinstein. He sat down for an interview on Popcorn with Peter Travers, and it ended up being a rather in-depth conversation about Weinstein and the unfolding Sex Predator-gate 2017 bulls–t. You can see the interview here. There’s a ton of really f–king problematic sh-t here, quite honestly. Okay, deep breath. Let’s get started.

Matt thinks people need to moderate their reactions depending on the abuse: “I think it’s wonderful that women are feeling empowered to tell their stories, and it’s totally necessary … I do believe that there’s a spectrum of behavior, right? And we’re going to have to figure — you know, there’s a difference between, you know, patting someone on the butt and rape or child molestation, right? Both of those behaviors need to be confronted and eradicated without question, but they shouldn’t be conflated, right? You know, we see somebody like Al Franken, right? — I personally would have preferred if they had an Ethics Committee investigation, you know what I mean? It’s like at what point — you know, we’re so energized to kind of get retribution, I think. And we live in this culture of outrage and injury, and, you know, that we’re going to have to correct enough to kind of go, “Wait a minute. None of us came here perfect.”

On Louis CK: “The Louis C.K. thing, I don’t know all the details. I don’t do deep dives on this, but I did see his statement, which kind of, which [was] arresting to me. When he came out and said, “I did this. I did these things. These women are all telling the truth.” And I just remember thinking, “Well, that’s the sign of somebody who — well, we can work with that” … Like, when I’m raising my kids, this constant personal responsibility is as important as anything else they learn before they go off in the world.

The continuum of abuse: “I mean, look, as I said, all of that behavior needs to be confronted, but there is a continuum. And on this end of the continuum where you have rape and child molestation or whatever, you know, that’s prison. Right? And that’s what needs to happen. OK? And then we can talk about rehabilitation and everything else. That’s criminal behavior, and it needs to be dealt with that way. The other stuff is just kind of shameful and gross, and I just think … I don’t know Louis C.K.. I’ve never met him. I’m a fan of his, but I don’t imagine he’s going to do those things again. You know what I mean? I imagine the price that he’s paid at this point is so beyond anything that he — I just think that we have to kind of start delineating between what these behaviors are.

Al Franken & Harvey Weinstein are different: “When you see Al Franken taking a picture putting his hands on that woman’s flak jacket and mugging for the camera, going like that, you know, that is just like a terrible joke, and it’s not funny. It’s wrong, and he shouldn’t have done that … But when you talk about Harvey and what he’s accused of, there are no pictures of that. He knew he was up to no good. There’s no witnesses. There’s no pictures. There’s no braggadocio … So they don’t belong in the same category.

On the rape allegations against Harvey Weinstein: “Nobody who made movies for him knew … Any human being would have put a stop to that, no matter who he was. They would’ve said absolutely no. You know what I mean? … I knew I wouldn’t want him married to anyone close to me. But that was the extent of what we knew, you know? And that wasn’t a surprise to anybody. So when you hear Harvey this, Harvey that — I mean, look at the guy. Of course he’s a womanizer … I mean, I don’t hang out with him…. So the question is, at what point does somebody’s behavior that you have a professional relationship with … away from the profession bother enough that you don’t want to work with them? For me, I’ve always kind of, you know, as long as nobody’s committing a crime — well, that’s your life, and you go live it. I don’t need to be spending time with you, away from my professional life, at least.

What he would do if a friend came to him with a #MeToo story: “It depends on what the accusation is. It depends what’s going on. If it’s a friend of mine, I’m always talking to them. I know the real story if it’s my friend. If it’s a colleague … I don’t know … I guess it depends on the situation and the allegation and how believable I think it is.

On confidentiality agreements: “I also think the day of the confidentiality agreements is over. I think it’s just completely over. Ten years ago, you made a claim against me and I had a big movie coming out, OK? I have $100 million or I have a movie that is personally important to me coming out, and close to the release of that film, you say, “Matt Damon grabbed my butt and stuck his tongue down my throat.” We would then go to mediation and organize a settlement. I’d go, “I don’t want this out there. Peter’s going to go out and talk to the press and run his mouth, and it’s going to be overshadowing the opening of this movie. How much money do you want?” The lawyers would get together, and they do this cost-benefit analysis, and they’d go, “Oh, this is what it’s worth.” And I look at the number and go, “OK, I’ll pay it, but you can never talk about this again. You’re f—— lying about this, but never talk about this again. Now … with social media, these stories get — it’s like they get gasoline poured on them. So the moment a claim is made, if you make that same claim today to me, I would be scorched earth. I’d go, “I don’t care if it costs $10 million to fight this in court with you for 10 years, you are not taking my name from me. You are not taking my name and my reputation from me. I’ve worked too hard for it. And I earned it. You can’t just blow me up like that.” So I think once a claim is made, there will no longer be settlements. That’s just my prediction, I mean, just based on what I’ve seen.

[From ABC News]

I’m so f–king tired of all of this, this entitled white male privilege and bullsh-t and assholery. I was done with this as soon as he started defending Louis CK’s character, but he just kept digging and digging. If you go to Matt Damon and tell him that one of his bros groped you, he would be like “well, I don’t know you well enough to believe you, and anyway it’s just a sexual assault, it’s not like you were raped, so you need to shut up. And I hope he sues you for saying that.” That’s basically it. I am so tired of this. I’m so tired of him. He is the problem. Dear commenters: light him up. Scorched earth style.

0 notes

tristan-dupont · 6 years

Text

SECRET SISTER → TRISTIE

TAGGING → Charlie La Bouff (@charlielabouff) & Tristan Dupont

TIMELINE → Sunday, November 19, 2017

SETTING → Somewhere with vegan hot chocolate

SUMMARY → Tristan learns the truth about who Charlie’s father is.

Charlie had spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to bring up the situation. Asking Tristan to help her study— well, that was the start of it all. But she’d made some vegan hot cocoa during their break time and she didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what to do or even how to approach the situation. A soft breath of air fell past her lips, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose before she sprinkled the tiny vegan marshmallows onto both of their cups and moved back into the living room — a smile on her face as she moved toward the younger teen and held out his cup to him. “Hopefully it’s good. And if not — you don’t gotta drink it,” she stated with a smile, moving to sit down once more. She folded her legs under her and shifted on the sofa — leaning back and resting against it and tapping her fingers against her cup. “How’s everything going with you?” she asked, raising her eyebrows and glancing over st him, “And thanks, y’know. For helping me.”

Tristan drummed his fingers on his knee; he hadn't really been sure why Charlie had asked him to help her study, of all people. After all, Dallas was the smart one; he was just the like, moderately intelligent accessory that helped her be brilliant. He didn't think he was any kind of genius on his own, but he never minded spending time with people -- well, nice people, anyway. Everyone in Walt was wonderful compared to being back home with his dad, so he grinned as he blew gently on his hot cocoa, making sure it wouldn't burn his tongue when he took the first sip. "Hey, no need to thank me. I should be thanking you, it's hard to find people that make good vegan cocoa," he laughed. Even though he hadn't tasted it quite yet, he appreciated the effort, and if nothing else, Tristan loved his vegan marshmallows. "I'm doing good, I guess. I don't know, I kind of don't like this time of year very much," he admitted. Holidays were about family and stuff, and though he had amazing siblings, he wasn't quite sure his place during such a festive time. "My birthday's on Christmas and Dallas wanted me to go home with her but I feel kind of bad crashing the party -- you won't tell her, right?" he asked, citing the one future event that was really weighing on his mind.

Charlie cleared her throat and she let out a soft laugh. “I mean, you haven’t even tried it yet, so I’m not sure if it’s good or not. And if it is, you don’t haveta keep drinking it. I can handle it.” She cleared her throat, shifting in the seat next to his and glancing over at him. This was awkward. And it was out of the blue. She knew that he had to have known that something was up. That she’d chosen him for a reason, and not just on a whim. Her eyebrows pressed together at his words. The holidays were her favorite thing of the year; Christmas and Thanksgiving were by far her favorites. But not everyone had the privilege of having a nice family. “Oh,” she stated softly, her fingers tapping against her mug and clearing her throat, lifting it and taking a sip before she wrinkled her face up. Not because of the taste, but because she was pretty sure that her mouth was on fire and she was about to die a slow and painful death. She set it down, shaking her head as she swallowed the scalding liquid. “S’hot. Careful,” she warned, reaching over and taking his cup from him and setting it down. She looked at him, her eyebrows raising and making a mental note to remember his birthday before she shook her head. “I won’t tell her. I promise,” she stated with a nod, giving him a smile before she cleared her throat, “But is that the only reason you don’t wanna go? So you don’t crash the party?”

Tristan tried not to laugh into his mug as he watched Charlie's reaction to the temperature; that was why he had been taking his time, but he knew how tempting hot drinks could be. "Hopefully that didn't just ruin your tastebuds for like the next week, this is the time of year everyone is passing out 'good luck on exam' cookies." He offered her a smile, trying not to feel awkward; their hanging out was definitely out of the blue, but he figured it was Dallas's doing, somehow. Charlie was her roommate; maybe he was supposed to be interviewing her and that was why Dallas had nudged the older girl his way, or maybe she was worried about Dallas? His friend had seemed a little stressed lately, but she was the toughest person he knew; Tristan was sure that whatever was going on, she'd feel better soon. He didn't have much time to waste a beat worrying, though, as Charlie seemed to be asking him questions and following up on things that he'd said. Though he was still a little unclear as to why she was hanging out with him, the good news was that it wasn't boring or hard to talk. "I mean, I kind of don't want to leave Gus and Odette, either. They always take care of me, I'd feel kind of bad leaving to pretend I'm part of a family that never asked to have me around, either." It was something he was used to, but by how tentative Charlie was about it, he realized maybe it was too much to be dumping on her. "It's okay, though! Not a big deal, I don't expect a lot for birthdays or Christmas, as long as I'm not with my dad that's good enough for me. What does your family do?"

Charlie couldn’t help but let out a laugh, wrinkling her nose as she realized just how much she burnt her tongue. Way to go. “Well, maybe it’ll be good for me. Too much sugar isn’t good before championships and all of that other shit — stuff,” she quickly corrected, her eyes flicking over at him. She knew he wasn’t a child, but he was still younger than her. And it felt weird cursing in front of him. In front of her brother. God, that was so weird. Charlie listened to him, her green eyes flicking over his face — wondering if there were any kind of similarities between the two of them, half paying attention to whatever he’d been saying. It was a rare moment when’s Charlie’d get lost in her own thoughts and not listen to what someone else had to say. It wasn’t until he’d asked her what her family did where her eyes had flicked back to his. “Oh! Uh — well, Tia helps Auntie Tia with baking and stuff and I help with dinner. I get way too excited about food to wait so normally I end up burning my mouth off,” she gestured to her mouth and then to her hot cocoa, “If you couldn’t tell.” She offered a slight smile before she cleared her throat, wiping her hands off on her pajama pants and she cleared her throat. “There’s actually something I — kinda wanted to talk to you about, actually.”

Tristan drummed his fingers on the table, then realizing the nervous tick, stopped and quietly traced his fingers along the lines of the wood instead. "You can say shit in front of me, you know, my brother is Dawn," he laughed, sure he'd heard his frat lord sibling say all kinds of things worse than that in the past. He listened quietly as she described her own family holidays, thinking it must be nice to be surrounded by so much love and tradition. The only tradition he really remembered was his dad being drunk. "I bet Odette ends up with a family like that someday," he mused, easily imagining his sister in a kitchen baking all the desserts and having a little mini-me following her around tasting things. He'd never been very good at that, with all his self-imposed dietary restrictions. He blinked in confusion when she said there was something she wanted to talk to him about, though, not sure what on earth she'd possibly eant to tell him compared to other people. "Oh, uh, sure, okay. What's up?"

Charlie felt her cheeks heat up, a slight tinge of pink appearing on her cheeks and she shifted, clearing her throat. "Yeah, I'm well aware," she muttered, reaching up and pulling her fingers through her hair, "But I try not to cuss in front of people younger than me. I know, it's weird. I'm weird." And she was nervous. Hella nervous, and she didn't know how to stop herself from being nervous. Her eyebrows rose, letting out a soft laugh and letting her eyes skim over his face. "You could have it too. All four of you could," she reassured with a nod. She inhaled sharply, reaching over and grabbing the hot chocolate that had burned her mouth just a few moments earlier and she took a sip -- her nails tapping on the side of the porcelain and she cleared her throat. Well, here went nothing. "Your -- dad is my dad," she stated softly, her eyes flicking down to the dark liquid in her cup, unable to look him in the eye because she was terrified of how he was gonna react, "Biologically. You're -- you're my half brother."

Tristan resisted the urge to pull out a pad of paper and write that down; it was a strange tidbit and he was sure that Dallas would have fun trying to analyze why Charlie did that with him. Instead, though, he shrugged, saying, "That's all cool, we all have our like, things that we do." Tristan tried not to laugh when she said they could all be happy like her family someday. He hoped so, but he also kind of thought maybe they were too dysfunctional and didn't even know what a real family looked like. At least they'd always had each other, though... and now apparently Charlie. He drew in a sharp intake of breath when he heard her words, and though there was a split second of disbelief, a brief desire to say you're joking to her... It made sense, didn't it? Why she'd been acting weird, why she suddenly cared about hanging out with him? And it wasn't like it didn't make sense for his dad. "Of course he is," Tristan finally laughed nervously, although his mind was still reeling. "That's so like my dad, he loves blonde ladies. At least your mom kept you and didn't drop you off on his porch." Tristan wrung his hands together in his lap -- how did someone treat a person who had just blurted out they were related? Did he hug her? Did he get mad that they had the same dad but she'd apparently had an awesome life instead of growing up miserable? In the end, he swallowed the lump in his throat, his foot tapping up and down on the floor nervously, incessantly. "Um -- how long have you known?"

Charlie nodded, pushing her glasses up her nose a bit before she shifted. "Yeah, we've all got our little quirks." The blonde watched him hesitantly, watching his reactions and feeling his stomach twist with every moment that passed. She didn't know how he'd react, how anyone would react to someone telling them about a new half sibling or something. She figured it wasn't something that someone dealt with every day. Her eyebrows rose at his soft chuckle, her fingers gripping onto her arms and feeling her stomach drop. "Yeah," she breathed, her eyes flicking down to her legs before she nodded, "I was lucky, I guess." And she felt bad, knowing all the shit that they'd gone though. Maybe she needed to hug him. Or maybe she shouldn't have said anything at all. She shifted, watching listening to his foot tapping against the floor before her eyes flicked back up to his face. "Since -- March," she breathed, shaking her head, "And I was -- gonna talk to y'all about it sooner, but I just -- it's not every day that someone learns that they've got four other siblings."

Tristan nodded, wondering if his dad had known about Charlie and never bothered to tell any of them, not even Gus, who bothered to try to talk to him. They could have known about her all this time, could have made more of an effort to get to know her when she was right there, living in Dallas's cottage... and instead, they'd just had no clue. "Yeah, we're not as cool as your sister or anything," Tristan shrugged, not sure why he felt a little bit bitter at her for hiding it for so long. But March was nearly nine months ago now, and this was a lot to process. "And it's five, actually. But none of us really talk to Dawn, so he's pretty easy to forget." He chewed on the inside of his cheek, trying to stop his scientific brain from asking a million questions like he usually tried to do, but a few slipped out anyway. "Am I the first one you told? Do you like... want to meet Gaston?" None of that seemed like the right thing to say, though, and awkwardly, Tristan tried words that he wasn't quite sure were whole-hearted. "Uh -- welcome to the family?"

Charlie chewed on the inside of her cheek as she tried to figure out how to settle the awkwardness between them. Try to make things better by -- cracking a joke or offering more food, but she figured that this wasn't a time to try to make things unawkward. Because things would be awkward, and would probably be awkward for a while. "Cooler, probably," she stated with a slight smile, before the smile faded from her lips once more and she took a quiet sip from her drink. She wrinkled her nose, nodding her head before she cleared her throat. "Well, six, now," she stated softly, looking over at him and letting her eyes skim along his face, "Lots to keep up with." She watched him carefully, shaking her head and wrinkling her nose at him. "No, Gus found out first. It kinda just came out. I didn't -- I didn't know how to tell any of you guys, because I barely know any of you. And I know keeping it a secret for so long is kind of a dick move, and I'm sorry about that. But I think if I ever met him personally, I'd just punch him in the face. Sounds like he needs it." She licked her lips, letting out a soft laugh and she shrugged. "You don't have to -- see me as family. I know -- I know I grew up differently and I'd like to -- get to know you, all of you, better. But if you don't -- personally, then I won't. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or anything. And if you're mad, I get it. I do. It's a lot to spring on someone." She was rambling. She inhaled sharply, biting on the inside of her cheek as she held in her breath for a couple of seconds before she exhaled once more. "Sorry."

Tristan shook his head instinctively, saying, "I'm not mad at you." At Gus, maybe a little bit, for knowing and keeping it from him. But that wasn't Charlie's fault; she didn't know them, she had no idea whether they were good people or... or how to handle that kind of situation. No one should just automatically know how to handle this kind of situation; it was weird, and confusing, especially for Charlie who had grown up with a mom who loved her so much. For Tristan, it was just another day of his life, a mysterious sibling turning up was no surprise. "No, it's okay. Like I said - I mean, I think of Dawn as family, and I don't even know him. At least you want to try," Tristan told her, offering her a weak smile. This was just how his dad was; it wasn't Charlie's fault, and he shouldn't hold it against her that she had a shitty dad, especially not when said shitty dad was the very same one as him. "I'd like that, the getting to know you better thing. Uh -- but I guess this means you want me to keep it a secret, too? Like Gus did? You don't want me to tell Odette or Louis or anybody until you're ready?"

Charlie let out a relieved sigh and she nodded, her eyes skimming along his face. "Okay," she breathed, licking her lips and pushing her hair behind her ear once more. She inhaled softly, feeling some of the weight from this -- secret lift off of her shoulders. It was strange, and she wished she knew what he was thinking. If maybe he was just being nice and was actually mad at her, or didn't want her to be part of the family. She let out a breathless laugh, shaking her head and wrinkling up her face. Because she couldn't imagine what it was like for a family member to not try or even care. "I do, I really do. I wanna get to know you. All of you, actually." She licked her lips once more, letting her eyes flick along his face as she paused at his question, trying to think of the answer. After a few moments, she nodded, giving him a slight smile. "I hope you don't mind. I just -- I barely know you and the only reason why I feel like I kinda do is because of Dallas. And I wanna get to know you, but there to be no pressure and if everyone knows then I feel like there's pressure," she inhaled once more, having not taken a breath almost that entire time, "I think -- for now, you and I should get to know each other better and then we can just add people on as we go?"

#para #para:charlie #charlie #charlielabouff #para:secretsister

0 notes