#so i am NOOOOT pacing myself the way i should be

[blackcoffeeandblankpagess]

A lil recap

Okay first off strategically this race was a mess I did not follow my plan AT ALL 🤦🏼‍♀️ but I actually feel like a learned a lot of valuable things to take with me for my marathon race day and I got in the miles which was goal #1 so I’m fine with it

-I ran from home to the start which is 3ish miles so I knew I’d have a 16 mile day, when I signed up for this race last week I thought I had a 14 miler this weekend so I was like okay cool with my run from home that should be good but then I realized I actually only had a 10 miler so uh whoops but also my training plan is arbitrary and based loosely off of a runner’s world rec so 🤷🏼‍♀️ w/e the main goal was just to not hurt myself

-so I ran to the start which honestly felt good and I think overall this was a less mentally taxing way to run 16 miles as opposed to just making up my own route so I’m glad I did it for that

-my plan... “plan” ....was to run the 3 miles there at 9-10 pace as a suuuper warm up, first 5 at 8:30-9:00, 6-10 at 8-8:30, and last 5k at 7:00-8:00...yeah clearly that went out the window

-the warm up being fast didn’t worry me TOO much because it was largely downhill and my legs were fresh so I was like okok

-but an important lesson I learned is that if you want to start off slow it is, in fact, not the best idea to position yourself towards the front of the A corral 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

-I kept telling myself “check your ego” and “run your own race” especially because I wasn’t even running this to race I was running it to train but...it’s hard not to get swept up when everyone is moving quickly! This is my fatal flaw when it comes to racing though and what destroyed me in my marathon in 2017 so this spring I plan to position myself with people running slower to start. This is why when I run long runs alone I can finish strong but in a race I burn out

-I stopped to use the porta potties twice (those are the 9+ min miles), the first time was an emergency but the second time I was just exhausted, I had to go but I also know I could have made it to the finish before going but also I was like I am wrecked!!!

-honestly though I didn’t feel wrecked aerobically rather my back started KILLING me at mile 6ish like hurting SO badly which has happened to me on a few runs over the past few months but rarely and usually at the very end so it doesn’t matter but DAMN

-also I raced in new shoes which like...I knew was dumb but I was excited and my old ones were so beat up but like 8 miles into the race (?) my feet also started killing me and I was like ahhhhhhggggghghhghggh

-so in a way it’s good that what tripped me up was pain not fitness but also...pain isn’t good!

-okay also fueling...oof. I woke up at 5:50 and ate a bagel with pb and a little bit of banana, I never eat before I run if it’s in the morning but I feel like when I run my marathon it would be smart to and this seemed like a good opportunity to practice (lol don’t try anything new on race day am I right! 🤦🏼‍♀️) I was only planning to have half but this morning I felt hungry so I was like #yolo which was prob dumb because on my run to the start my stomach started killing me just like...stabbing pain so that was less than pleasant

-I was using honey stinger gummies every few miles but after awhile I legitimately just forgot about them and then I dropped one and then I was nauseous so yeah that all went out the window and when I finished my stomach felt wrecked and it still does but I got a sufferfest beer to try because they sponsor a bunch of ultra runners I follow and ...they were free but I only had a few sips before being like OOF no thank you (the beer was good my stomach was not). We went to brunch and I got pancakes and orange juice and I don’t think I’ve had orange juice since I was a child but for whatever reason it sounded amazing and it was fresh squeezes and hit the spot. The pancakes were fluffy af and the restauarant was cute and decorated for the holidays but tbh even now just thinking about food makes me feel like I’m gonna vom my stomach does nooot feel good. On a related note, the concept of brunch or good food after a race is nice in theory but I just feel like based on how my body reacts to long distances I’m better off enjoying good eats later that night or like..any other time

-okay back to running, tbh I literally walked a little around mile 11 because I was just in so much pain and I was like I could keep running and hurting for the next two miles or I could walk for a minute and gather myself and feel better for the last bit (spoiler: I didn’t feel much better). Honestly I did noooot finish strong, I did the opposite of finish strong, the last .2 felt like 100 miles but at the very very very last bit I gave a little kick but oof

-but like I said, very fine with it because main goal was to do a long run which I did

Other things!

-passed by elliot (my running bud) between miles 10 and 11 (that part of the course was an out and back) he didn’t see me but somehow I heard his voice and noticed him wtf?? I’m always amazed by my weird talent to find people I know in races in unexplainable ways like when I ran nyc I found a fellow unc marathon team person at like mile 23 in a field of 50,000 and I recognized her from behind and we weren’t even good friends...like...what!

-I felt really strong on the hilly sections and passed a good bit of people and feel like I’ve got good mountain legs for when that becomes relevant some day

-Jared ran his first 5k (race)! I’m proud of him. Yesterday at the expo he bought winter running tights and I was like ooooo I’m turning you into a runner boy 😈

There’s probably like 400 more things to say but I’m tired so if you read all of this you’re a rockstar !

#personalposts #runs #myfood #berk #berkeley half #NOLA marathon #race recap

[riotatthemovies]

The Elf (2017)

I love Christmas themed horror films and well... THIS FUCKING SUCKED! 

And you know me I LOVE shitty movies. The more home made and flawed the better someone. But fuck this movie. 

Made during the height of the Elf on a Shelf meme craze. Made by producer director Justin Price. He is one of the b studio goons that make a handful of crap zero budget movies a year just so they can plaster them all over the internet and wal mart with a cool cover to make you think you are buying something real.  You the kind that make a shit bad cgi sci fi with a has been action actor and then the next week make a Christmas movie.Unlike  the do it  yourself super indi backyard horror guys that actually give a damn about a idea no matter how shitty it is. Instead this guy makes a shitty Christmas movie with a bad cgi killer in it and actors even more plastic then the killer plastic doll.

The plot  is a couple inherit a toy shop that carried a curse (but who cares as most of the movie takes place at their oddly large house) and invite family over for Christmas.  Well the guy who gained the house has no family and he may be going crazy too. However his girlfriend who just comes off as an extreme bitch is inviting her family. Everyone hates the boyfriend cause he seems to be losing his mind. But they all seem like assholes anyway so who cares. Luckily after a very long time of people just mumbling to each other like as if every actor was paid in drugs to make this movie eventually a tiny killer elf comes and kills them all.. nuff said.

There is one good scene where carolers get massacred by the elf using either magic at warp speed. Its soooo stupid but so much more fun than the rest of the bumbling paced movie that it feels like someone else made it.

Fuck this movie. Everyone in this movie is terrible. They look like real actors all probably have agents and try to make a living off being extras. But each one of them does not give a fuck. The sound is off so many lines mumble away as the next person is so loud.. usually the annoying girlfriend is the loudest. Man is she annoying. There is a twist at the end involving her that you will noooot give a fuck about cause you don’t give a fuck about her to begin with. She has some paining looking lip injections and those plastic surgery eye brows that look like she is always surprised, yet her eyes are half baked it is like she is surprised but unimpressed at the exact same fucking time. She is constantly complaining about her boyfriend who is starting to lose it but you just don’t care and wish the elf would get her first. Granted the mumbling boyfriend whos way of acting that he is in a cloud of confusion is to move slowly and mumble so much I am sure he is just drunk and not actually acting. Seriously people in this movie just fucking move! I don’t mean they have to run away from the killer elf, that would help to, but just stop standing around and wobbling there low voice grumbling about life like a bunch of junkie valley girls at the mall.  The loser and going nuts boyfriend is given shit by his girlfriend and family he should just tell them to fuck off. He wouldn’t know if his girlfriend was shocked of not by his words cause her eyes brows always look like that anyways so who cares.

Seriously people over 30 talking like mallrats makes me insane. Maaaybe if this was funny and they were supposed to be like that it would make sense.. but its not. 

Now lets talk about the elf. The elf does some weird shit for no reason.... and taaakesss forrrrever to actually do anything. When the elf puts himself in a christmas box just to cut out of it and giggle for no reason is super confusing and feels a hell of a lot like padding oh and warning that specific scene is more suspenseful then most of the movie.. yeah its that bad. But you do kind of route for the elf to just kill the annoying people which is saying something. Even if classic little killer issue occurs where the elves gives someone a small stab to the leg makes that makes them forget how to walk so he can slash the hell out of them until they either die or just miraculously remember how to walk again and run away incase they are needed to pad out another scene. (does my writing sound angry?... I don’t know)

 The Elf is also flashed between cgi walking Elf to a toy elf attacking people. The toy looks scarier then the cgi and in fact looks like the toymaker and the computer graphic designer never communicated cause they definitely made two very different looking Elves.

Oh and there are rules for this killer elf but the drozing sleep inducing dialog from actors that do not want to be there makes me forget what they are completely.

Look how unimpressed they are.

This was over a year ago and its not free to stream (you have better things to do even for fucking free... I do this shit so you don’t have to) ... and this just in... FUCK NO.... They made a sequel. ELVES just came out this year. The trailer makes it look like it may not try to take itself seriously since it knows it is that bad. Also seems to have monsters and people turning into evil elves with the most nauseating computer effect face morphing you have ever seen. Ah Fuck  it I will probably watch it to cause I obviously hate myself at this time of year. 

Wooo sorry for being so fucking negative guys. But this movie made my normal headaches worse. 

I always say this... If your movie is stupid just own it and make it fun. You can play it straight but believing you're stupid idea is serious is not the same thing.

I love Christmas horror movies, Jack Frost, Silent Night Deadly Night 1 to a million, Black X mas (love that remake oh yeah) Elves (the Canadian one from the 80s.) even the recent Christmas Horror story anthology flick. But some of the really recent ones just simply jumping a band wagon with hip instagram model era actors in them or worse smarmy kids. Seriously The Elf from 2017 makes me wanna say bah humbug all over your face!

A sugar plum thumb down in the dirt.

#The Elf #elves #horror #shite #BAD MOVIES #that are just bad #2017 #crappola #even for free it sucked. #I hate people sometimes #farts #christmas #is hell

[blackcoffeeandblankpagess]

Hey Danielle — would you approach marathon training any differently if it was your first? I’m signed up for my first one this year (I’ve run halves beforehan) and have no idea how to get started

okay first of all HELL YEAH that’s so exciting! 

I would definitely approach it differently, both in training and actually executing the race. IMO your main goal should just be to get to the starting line healthy and complete the race. 

Now a lot of us runners are super type A and want to go all out so the idea of just completing the race doesn’t always feel satisfying enough because we want to Be The Best. But as someone who has been hurt 34325235235 times, let me tell ya your main priority should be staying healthy because you can’t be the best if you’re on crutches. 

I would not put pressure on yourself to go too hard with speedwork and things, I’d focus more on getting your weekly long runs in and being consistent. Do a little strength training for your glutes and such to protect against injury because you’re asking your body to do a lot more than it has ever done before.

When I trained for NYC (my first) I also alternated long runs so instead of being like this week I’m doing 14, then 16, then 18, etc. I would do 14, 12, 16, 12, 18, 12. That was partially for my own sanity because when you’re training for your first marathon every long run (pretty much) is setting a new PR for the longest run you’ve done and that can feel scary and intimidating so by staggering my runs like this it felt more manageable. I also would sometimes try to do my 12 milers a little faster while my other long runs were just about getting them done.

Also! If it feels like your long runs are impossible and you find yourself wondering “how tf am I gonna run a whole MARATHON?!” don’t panic! I remember my first 16 miler was SO hard and I was like holy shit what have I gotten myself into???

It will get easier and you will get stronger!

Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, get your miles in but depending on what mileage you are used to you might want to supplement a bit with cross training so you don’t overdo it, and just enjoy the process.

Also, when it comes time to race don’t do anything ridiculous *cough* me *cough* I went out at something like a 7:45 pace in my first marathon because the adrenaline was there and in my halves the adrenaline had carried me all the way to the finish but that is noooot the case with a full marathon (at least for me). It is far better to have energy in the tank for that second half than to be walking it in (but if ya gotta walk ya gotta walk, I walk/ran the last like 10 miles of my first marathon and I walked a little bit in miles 22-23 of my last race, marathons are hard!)

There are 40000 more things I could say but here is just a little bit. Also idk what my exact tag is, I think it is #nycmarathon or something but if you look through it you can find some of my thoughts and lessons learned from my first one!

Good luck !!

#answered