#so after some time of cuddling Matt feels Jake's heartbeat going up

[mahalshairyballs]

You know, thinking about Matt being able to hear heartbeats thing, it's not always properly used imo

People have already talked about how heartbeats aren't really reliable to detect if someone is lying or not. Matt here is like a living lie detector with this, and we know how unreliable lie detectors are. Maybe Matt uses a more holistic approach to detect lies and doesn't just use heartbeats. Combining heartbeats with sensing if someone is sweating, hearing the minute changes in their voice, how they're moving etc., could be a way more reliable way to know if someone is lying. I'm pretty sure that's what Matt does, it's just not usually shown that way.

Heartbeats however, and those other clues too, could help Matt detect what other people are feeling pretty reliably. For most, not necessarily all, emotions Matt could've learned to read the physical signs they give off that he's able to detect. Obviously that means he's able to know if someone is stressed or relaxed, or having an anxiety episode.

I wonder how often this ability of his is used in Daredevil fics

#daredevil #matt murdock #daredevil/moon knight #matt murduck x marc spector #like Matt will pretty much guess they have DID by just all the small differences between them #well Steven underestimated Matt's abilities and thought Matt wouldn't recognize their body as Steven #then Matt *knows whose body it is by their scent* #Matt : why do you speak with tgat accent ? and why is your heartbeak so different ? and why are you moving so unlike yourself ? #well Matt doesn't totally gets it rifht but he'd know pretty fast something is going on #none of them can impersonate the other with him either #he knows #I was just thinking about Jake/Matt cuddling after sex #and Jake's mostly good with touches now but there's still work left to be done #so after some time of cuddling Matt feels Jake's heartbeat going up #he senses his growing anxiety #so Matt could never say 'I didn't know you were uncomfortable' he'd always know #Matt Murdock/Jake Lockley

[peaceserenity24-blog]

June 20th

So today was really shitty, and still kind of being shitty. I worked like 11 hours today, unnecessarily I might add. Frustrating as all can be about why I was there 3 extra hours then I needed to be. Started with walking into, yet again another day where Kadin neglected to set us up for success in the morning. It is so frustrating to continue to have this happen. And I’m just at a lost for what else I can do. The only other step I’m at is to literally baby sit him. And I don’t want to do that for him, nor do I have the time to be doing that. He’s been at this for over a year now, I need him to be a leader and an example for our new catering coordinator. That HAS to be a thing. I chewed him out a bit over the things because he came in with an attitude this morning and continued to be a problem as the morning persisted. Matt and Natalie talked to him, and Matt’s taken his side on it all. Fine, he needs an advocate, but they all need to see it from where Em and I are coming with all of this. Kadin’s head has been a chopping block for months, and we keep sticking our necks our for him and vouching for his good work. While we may not praise his every move, he has to already know that we care for him or else he wouldn’t be here still. We would have cut him a long time ago.  He keeps bringing up pay and how much work he puts in, that literally everyone else around him does. He questions how much I leave him out dry, which is straight up horse shit. I’m put in the position I am when it comes to deliveries and not being in the store, because of the grave he’s dug himself. I would be more then happy to send him out on deliveries, but I can’t. So he has to step up to the plate in the store. Period.  I have been so kind, generous and offering for months, my patience is at the end of its rope. I’m tired of being chewed out all the time and not getting any praise either. Yet here I still am, slaving away day after day, for what seems like nothing... I’ll get to that in a bit. He has a girlfriend to go home to, a much better lifestyle then when he first started, and flexible schedule, with VERY lenient people supervising him. I just am at my wit’s end. I feel driven there, and not getting a lifeline from anyone. Em wants me to tell her about issues, and all that looks like is tattling to “mom or dad” and then I look like even worse of a bad guy. I can’t work in that kind of situation, I just can’t. I need the folks around to respect me, and have the authority to deal with issues when they arise and how I see fit. If I need help, I’ll ask for it. And I’ve asked for help, but do it with me, not take me out of the picture. Because it just comes across as ganging up on the person. We had these problems before when Liv was around, I’d go to Liv with the problem and then Kadin wouldn’t want to speak with me for like a week. I just don’t know. And it’s irritating.

So I get home, tired, exhausted, I vent to Hunter about my day and he listens. Very appreciative that he did, he turns around and he’s wearing one of my shirts. Honestly, put the first smile on my face all day. And we’re planning to go out with Bryan and Jake later. I go eat, shower, take a bath to try and relax/destress. It helps a little bit, I go and lay down. Wake up and Jake wants to cancel, ugh. Bryan still is down for going but I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I go see what Hunter wants, and he’s passed out. He’s tired. I ask him and he shrugs, for once I wish people would make decisions for me. I always feel like I have to be the adult in the room and decide. I opt to rain check and try again next week. Ask Hunter if he wants to cuddle a bit and he says no, rejects me. I don’t know why he doesn’t want to, he hasn’t wanted to since we messed around last... does he think I’m a predator and using cuddling to do that? I don’t want him to think that. I’ve only been doing that every once in a blue moon now, and trying to be very concious of it. I just want to hold him, know that I’m coming home with purpose and working and taking all these beatings at work for a reason. To do things with him, to celebrate with him, and to enjoy life with him. I don’t have anyone else to do that with. It’s really sad, I cried for a solid 15 mins in bed after he told me he didn’t want to. My two other friends I have in town are too busy to do things, and I feel so lonely. I feel like no one wants to be around me some days. I just want to be wanted. Is that so much to ask? I put myself out there as much as a I can, but I’m so reluctant these days because when I do I feel more of myself then usual chip away and get hurt. Every rejection or upset in the planned hurts more then it used to. And it makes me not want to try. Why do I have to try and be the one to plan and reach out to people to do things? WHY CAN’T SOMEONE ELSE COME TO ME?? Is that such a big thing to ask? Hunter asked to go on a walk with June on Sunday and it made me really happy he wanted to go do that. It kind of felt awkward on that 3 hrs with just us and the dog, I felt we had nothing to talk about that much. We had long pauses in talking while we walked, and I tried to let them be, but sometimes for me the awkwardness was too much. And it makes me feel like I have nothing to talk with him about. I feel like he keeps me at such an arms length it’s hard to find those good things to talk about. I don’t want to take him for granted. I don’t want to assume I have a right to do things with him. But it’d just be nice to have things reciprocated more, ya know? Or more thanks for things, or just initiative in general for when things come up. I want to put the ball in his court when it comes to most things involving “us” but it’s hard when he just puts the ball down and goes and does other things, and forgets about the ball, whether purposefully or unintentionally. I just want to have purpose in my life again, I’d enjoy someone I’m working my ass off for so we can have a better life together. It really made me feel whole and gave my life meaning in a way. I don’t want to be fisically supporting him, but I want to go on adventures with him, do fun things, do things we don’t usually do, and celebrate our lives. And I feel we can do that without being romantic per se. It would be some work, but it would be worth it. At the end of the day, yes I would like my Tiger back in my life, in my arms , in a heartbeat, but I feel I’m in limbo and can’t tell on action, moment, or day from another. I don’t want to try to read his mind, but I feel lost as to where and what is going on. Maybe I need to cut back more on the things I do for him. I feel like that’ll kill me inside a bit. My giver nature/nurturing takes over too much, and I always want to provide when it’s in my power, and that goes for any friend across the board. If I can be of help, I always try and go out of my way for it.

That felt alot better, I still kind of want to talk out some things with Hunter, cause I’m still upset. Idk it’s just a mix mess of things, and if I don’t have a distraction then all I do is focus on it.

Till tomorrow

#june 20th #26 mins 18 secs