#smh smh the great perils of blorbo blogging

[mishapen-dear]

as much as im celebrating the Full Realization that yes, qbbh is recovering rn (he's on such an upswing!!), i am fully expecting there to be a downswing, and im expecting it to hit HARD.

the other day bbh made a very interesting comment- paraphrased: "it's easier when you have no attachments."

in context, he was talking about the bagi-cellbit situation and the hardship of attachments starting to conflict because of gaining so many of them, and trying to figure out what to do about cellbit (especially in regards to the feds and the eggs)

but it just. it Felt a Little Off. like maybe. foreshadowing. because he has so, so many attachments, and they keep causing him pain. how long has it been since he's last seen skeppy. how long has it been since he's seen the eggs. forever. now cellbit... qbbh is full of So Much Love and it keeps hurting him and, while he has recently swung away from hurting himself because his loved ones would be upset by it, what if he just... swung a little too far. and has a brief period of trying to drop those attachments entirely

#im just a sucker for some self destruction okay that's what this whole post is #i DO think there's gonna be a downswing #it'll prob not be this but a girl can dream #it would damage him so so so much #every breath he's taken has been motivated by love for at LEAST six months #and probably before the island too because of qskeppy #i want him to be like a rabid animal. trying to saw off his arm to escape the bear traps #it would last like 20 minutes but it would be awesome #qsmp badboyhalo #at some point i need to figure out a tagging system for when im being Silly about characters and when im seriously analyzing them #but the sillies turn into actual analysis too much and the actual analysis dont hold enough Weight often enough #smh smh the great perils of blorbo blogging #maybe a blorbo tag that doesnt send all posts to the maintag shadow realm too #tumblr search system you will always be beloathed