#sldfksl;dfks;dlkf

[hcliix]

i am small, and the world is big.

her mother leaves for graduation and doesn’t come back for three months. a lot can happen in such a small amount of time. a lot did. ( mentions of @shecanonlycopy & @zairc )

helix lounged around her bedroom, surrounded by the ‘doll army’ she’d created over the years. they were her only company at the moment. her mother had gone to see something called a graduation, a concept helix had only heard of. she didn’t really care what it was. what she had cared about was that ada and zaire would be here, they would be home, and she wanted to see them.

“mama, mama, take me with you! i wanna see big brother and big sister!” she’d begged, but she’d been told ‘no’ countless times. she was always told ‘no’ when she wanted to leave the house. it didn’t matter how many temper tantrums she threw.

and so here she was, sitting and waiting, hoping that ada and zaire might visit, that they would come to her instead. but nothing happened. even in the off chance that someone would come, helix wasn’t allowed to let them in. she was to pretend that no one was home, that she didn’t exist. she had to stay where she was.

day turned into night and she became restless. she tried to keep herself occupied by having a tea party with her dolls. when that didn’t work, she decided to draw on the walls. she drew herself, her mother, and her older siblings, all four of them standing together, though she had to stop when she became too sad to continue.

she fell asleep, believing that her mother would be home when she woke up the following morning.

it was morning. her mother hadn’t returned.

nor had she returned by the following morning.

or the morning after that.

helix had never been left alone for this long. her mother had always promised her that she would come home, that nothing bad would happen to her and that they would read a story before going to bed. that promise had been broken three nights in a row now, and helix’s worry was steadily increasing.

she spent the entirety of the third morning contemplating. should she go out and find her mother? should she stay here and wait faithfully, as she always had? the second option sounded so lonely, so uninviting. what she had to do was clear.

after brushing her hair, she grabbed her two favourite dolls ( she’d made them in the likeness of ada and zaire, so she had something to remember them by ) and headed out the door.

helix had always known the isle was a bad place. she may have been sheltered, but there was only so much her mother could hide from her, and so she knew the stories that spread isle-wide. despite this, her mother had always assured her that they were good people. they had always done the right thing, and so they had nothing to worry about. she had no reason to think her mother was lying to her. she’d never let her down before.

it took her a while to find someone. she hadn’t gone far, taking in everything outside the house. it was a view she’d never seen before. she’d been so intrigued by every little thing that she almost missed the group of teenagers entirely. they couldn’t have been that much older than her, perhaps only by a year or two.

“excuse me,” she said in a small voice, approaching. she smiled softly when they turned to her. “i’m... i’m looking for my mama. could you help me, please?”

the group shared a few unsure looks. one of them, a boy with dark hair, looked down at the dolls she was carrying and frowned, whispering to the girl next to him. she whispered to the girl next to her, then she to the boy next to her. the entire group was in on a secret that helix wasn’t aware of.

the last girl to be told had a sour expression as she said, “what’s your mum’s name, kid?”

“emese.”

there was another group look, but this one was full of frowns and raised eyebrows. while before they’d been confused, now they just seemed annoyed. helix didn’t understand what she’d done.

“it’s okay if you can’t help me --” she started, but the first boy pushed his way forward, eyeing her up and down. his scrutinising gaze made her voice falter. she stepped back.

“you’re a beldam, yeah?” the boy asked. “why would we help you?”

helix’s eyes widened. “...huh?”

one of the girls smiled, but it wasn’t any sort of smile helix had ever seen. there was no kindness or warmth in her eyes, just a spark of mischief and cruelty. it chilled helix to the bone.

“c’mon, man, there’s no need to be so stingy. we know where her mother is. right, guys?” she looked around at her comrades before turning to helix. “your ‘mama’ is gone, sweetheart. she escaped with a bunch of the other villains. she’s in auradon now. she left you behind.”

helix clutched her dolls like lifelines. “m-mama would never! she would never leave without telling me! she’s -- she’s my mama!”

“so?” the boy’s voice was so filled with venom that helix flinched. “she’s a beldam, why would she care about kids?”

“but -- but...”

“do you even know what beldams do?” one of the girls at the rear of the group asked.

helix’s eyes flickered between the group’s faces. they were expecting an actual answer. “we help kids! sometimes... sometimes their parents are mean and they don’t want them, so we create a world where everything is nice and fun for them, and they can stay there forever!”

“don’t fuck with us!” another boy said, pushing past his friends. he was much taller than helix, and it showed when he stood right over her, arms folded. “beldams eat souls! they prey on kids who are unhappy, make them feel secure, then screw ‘em over until they die! what kind of sick twisted fuck are you to lie like that!”

helix cowered, expression one of bewilderment. they did what they did so children could be happy. they were good people.

...right?

“oi.” one of the girls tapped the guy on the shoulder. he stepped back from helix’s personal space. “i don’t think she’s lying. i think she’s just fucking stupid.”

the girl turned to helix, a sweet smile on her face. but it was too sweet. “hey, can i see your dolls? they look really cute.”

glad for the change of subject as well as the compliment about her craftsmanship, helix smiled and offered the dolls, one in each hand. the girl took both of them, turning them around as if inspecting them. then, just as it looked as though she was about to give them back, she threw them on the ground and stomped on them.

“fucking demon dolls, how do i know you’re not gonna use them to spy on us, huh?!”

helix screamed, horrified as the dolls’ faces, designed in her siblings’ likeness, became flat and muddy. a particularly harsh stomp on doll-zaire’s neck tore his head clean off, and doll-ada was now missing both her legs. helix fell to the ground and tried to salvage what she could, but a powerful kick to the head had her falling on her side.

the threatening boy continued to kick her despite her already being on the ground. “KILL THE BELDAM, KILL THE BELDAM!”

the other children joined in, pulling her hair and ripping her dress. one spat on her face. her hands clenched and unclenched, as though her dolls would reappear in her hands, safe and unharmed.

“guys... are you sure this is okay? isn’t she hurt enough?” one boy asked. the voice came from helix’s right.

the first boy, the dark haired one, snorted.

“doesn’t matter. after all, she’s a monster.”

for the two to three months she was on her own, helix learned how to survive. she figured out where to find food and how to avoid the other isle residents. she knew not to bring her dolls with her, and so doll-ada and doll-zaire, while repaired, now sat on her bed untouched. she didn’t have time for tea parties or drawing. she had to cook and clean and keep everything safe.

whatever innocence she’d once had was now gone. it had left with her mother, and she doubted it would come back once she returned. if she returned, she always reminded herself.

but emese did return. yet she wasn’t the mother helix remembered.

there were no more bedtime stories and no cheerful conversations. anytime she mentioned ada or zaire, or how they were doing, her mother would either mumble something about attacking ada or go into hysterics. or both. it was often both.

slowly, very slowly, she learned what happened.

her mother had lured thirty or so students, some of whom knew ada and zaire, who were friends with them, and took their souls. there was no longer any talk of how they helped unsatisfied children find homes. it was just taking souls. her mother had taken children just like helix herself and used them to feed her own personal hunger.

and she’d attacked ada while doing it.

she didn’t know the details. her mother didn’t want to talk about it, and anything she did say on the matter was too nonsensical.

helix remembered what one of the teenagers had said to her.

“she’s a beldam, why would she care about kids?”

she’d tried to convince herself that she and ada and zaire were different, that if anyone would be able to stop them, they could. that she would care. but if she’d attacked ada...

that was when she knew she had to leave. she could remain in this worn house, trying to look after both herself and her mother, especially when her mother wasn’t all there anymore. she needed answers and she needed a life outside of her mother’s now nonexistent protection.

as she’d left, all her mother had said was, “why?” why are you going? why are you leaving me?”

helix had turned around in the doorway, eyes sad and heavy.

“because i’m a monster.”

and then she left.

#sldfksl;dfks;dlkf #idk how accurate any of this is in terms of how the beldams lived #so i tried to keep it as vague as possible #but i have many feelings ok #many many #did i even get the other mother's character right jfc @ me #{ i am small and the world is big | isms } #{para}