#since they all realized my mistake before I did x_x

[ubemango]

not a request but more of a suggestion but i’d love to read about unko jaykay meeting soonbok for the first time 🥺

This hurt me SOOOO bad oh my gosh x_x tw mentions of blood

.

.

.

He gets the call at exactly two AM. He doesn’t think he’s ever heard Yoongi this frazzled before.

“She’s—she’s being cleaned up right now. When you get here just text me. I’ll come pick you up from the lobby. And can you get me something from Starbucks while you’re at it?”

Jeongguk visits a drive-thru and buys a cake pop with coffee, as a treat. It’s too late to find a flower shop so he figures a tiny confection will express the sentiments of congratulations on becoming a dad nicely enough.

Yoongi looks like he’s seen all the ancient horrors of the Earth when Jeongguk meets him. He extends no formal greeting other than: “For me?”

He’s pointing at the iced coffee and brown paper bag. “Vanilla was the only flavour they had left,” Jeongguk says, handing them over. Yoongi quite literally rips open the bag, grabs the cake pop by the stick, and devours it in 0.5 seconds. “Woah. You good?”

Yoongi gives him a hard stare, chugging on his coffee next. “You ever had a wife who’s gone through fourteen hours of labour?”

Jeongguk shivers from the thought. “I don’t wanna know. Let’s go. What floor?”

“Second.”

Yoongi spares him the conversation, guiding Jeongguk through a short elevator ride, gurney-filled hallways, the occasional duo of doctor and nurse walking past. Jeongguk knows they’ve reached the maternity ward when he hears someone wailing in the distance.

“You get used to it,” Yoongi comments when he sees Jeongguk’s half-horrified face. “This shit is scary. Seeing so many pregnant people in the same space. It’s like you’re all in on some volunteer experiment and your compensation for participation is a human being.”

“Is—is she there?” Jeongguk asks. The hallway threshold they cross this time is much quieter. Suddenly he’s reminded that you were in the exact same position that wailing woman is in right now. He’s glad you only told him to come when you’d given birth, otherwise he’d probably be occupying a gurney from fainting at the sights and sounds of literal childbirth. “Your. You know. Human being.”

“Yeah. She had to go get her vitals checked but she’s back now. Should’ve seen them try to wrestle her out of her mom’s arms. Anyway. You ready?”

Jeongguk takes a moment to realize they’ve stopped at a door.

He’s an uncle now, he thinks. You carried a clump of cells through growth, brought her earthside because your body decided it was time. And he’s never been particularly concerned about babies but he feels overwhelmed, thinking about how hard you must’ve worked. He should have begged for a second cake pop.

“Yeah,” he answers finally.

Yoongi opens the door first. The lights are dimmed down, and Jeongguk has to blink the glaring white of the hospital walls away to make sure he isn’t tripping on anything. A nurse cleaning the bloodied weight scale looks up and greets him. Another nurse mops at the foot of the bed. The sight of you half-asleep is what greets his vision next, looking all shades of exhausted. Yoongi looks like sunshine compared to you.

“Hey. You just pushed a whole human out your cooch,” he greets.

“Damn right I did,” you proclaim. “I’d give you a hug but I quite literally cannot lift myself up at the moment.”

You’re cocooned securely in your blankets, like an overgrown baby. Yoongi walks over to kiss your forehead. “Don’t work so hard, babe.”

“I better not, else my stitches will rip right open. Whoosh. More blood.”

“Laughing gas,” Yoongi explains your loose tongue to Jeongguk.

“I smell cake. And coffee,” you complain next.

Yoongi swiftly turns around and shoots his garbage inside a bin near the bed. “No you don’t.”

“I want cake.”

“You can’t have cake. You want me to get you more ice to chew on?”

“Sure. Jeongguk. Look at my baby. Doesn’t she look like an alien?”

Something to the side of your bed catches his eye. A little squirming of pink blankets in a separate cart, and he freezes in his spot. “I—can I look?”

“Duh,” you say through a mouthful of ice Yoongi’s just shoved into your mouth.

Jeongguk tiptoes over carefully. Baby girl Min, 1:57 AM, the label on the glass says. The first word that pops up in his head when he sees her? Tiny.

Her swollen eyes closed, she breathes life into her small chest. You’re right. She kind of does look like an alien. But a cute one, with Yoongi’s nose, your eyebrows. She’s probably the size of his own forearm. He feels like if he breathes too hard she’ll roll right out onto the floor.

So careful is he in his observations that he doesn’t notice Yoongi making his way over to him to ask:

“You wanna carry her?”

Jeongguk locks up. He hasn’t held a baby since his little cousin was born and that was like two decades ago. His dad had made the mistake of asking him if he wanted a snack the second he had little Daesung in his noodle arms and he’d very nearly launched him off to go running for dino cookies. “Can I?”

“Course.” Yoongi slots a gentle hand beneath her neck, using the other hand to lift her at the bum. “Gonna sit down, or?”

“I’ll sit.” He’s 100% sure he’ll drop her if he doesn’t. He finds the rocking chair set in the corner of the room, positions himself comfortably for Yoongi to guide his arms around her.

She immediately fidgets in his hold. Oh god. She probably doesn’t like his aura, Jeongguk thinks. Or maybe he’s too cold and she wants her mom’s warmth. Like a little cub stolen from its mama bear. If she started crying he probably would, too.

But: “Oh—oh my god wait you’re smiling,” Jeongguk coos.

Her mouth stretches upwards for a second, and he hears Yoongi say wah, so cute but it’s muffled noise. She makes this moment for Jeongguk alone. And he can’t help but squeeze her closer; she wriggles, pointing her little nose to his chest like she wants to hold him back. He very resolutely decides, right then and there, to pull at his heart and say, This space is for you now, and a cold feeling washes over him like he’s just entered a new world.

“You really do fall in love right away,” he whispers.

You interrupt his reverie with a snort. “You’re so corny. I’m surprised you haven’t cried yet.”

“That’s only because you’d make fun of me if I did.”

“Just don’t drop her,” you mumble.

“Yeah yeah.”

Wait. Speaking of her:

“What’s her name?” Jeongguk asks.

Yoongi strokes gently at her cheek. “Soonbok.”

Almost as if she recognizes it, she flutters her eyes open at her dad’s call. Jeongguk feels his chest burning from how sweet she looks.

“Soonbok,” he repeats, voice cracking. “Welcome home.”

.

.

.

(“See, I told you he’d cry,” you laugh. “Take a picture for me, Yoongi.”)

#bts scenarios #ubemango fic #f: this tiny space #d: this tiny space

[vvardenfellcat]

SHIPPING INFO // Answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog. REPOST. Don’t reblog.

Stolen from uh...lots of people at this point. Took me a while to get to it. @aglitchinemotion finally got my booty in gear tho.

WHAT’S YOUR OTP FOR YOUR MUSE(S)?

I have a few... Though it’s more of ‘hey these two/three/etc would be cute and actually get along and heeeeyyyy that might actually work in canon! I wonder...

Nothing’s canon yet for TES!J’hasi, though Aldaril and Morwaen have a one-sided thing going on atm. Mori, pls...show the poor mer some mercy...

Modern!TES AU J’hasi, Maarzi, and Jeer-Rah are a thing, Al and Morwaen are a thing, Icarus and mead is a thing... All the ships. Welcome to my self-indulgent paradise.

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO RP WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING?

Depends on how well I know you. Unless you’re Paige I doubt it would go further than fade to black after smooches and whatnot. I’ve started writing the Porns™ to try and see if I like doing it/find it worthwhile, and while I enjoy the emotionally-connected ones, the stand of the night type ones aren’t fun to me. Still have to issue copies to Quality Control to determine their Hot Stuff merit.

TL;DR full blown prons are doubtful unless I’m really close friends with the mun first, else varies between No and fade-to-black depending on how well I know the mun.

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?

Under 18 is a Hell No, TES is uh...weird with people living hundreds of years and yet some only 80ish or w/e so I guess it depends on how old they seem? Mer, man. Can’t get a good bead on em agewise. I suppose if there’s like a huge gap like Mr. 800 years old shacking up with someone around 400 that would be weird to me. A hundred years gap wouldn’t be too bad assuming the younger is like...30s? 40s? At least. Mid 20s would be the lowest I’d go with something like that, and even then that’s pushing it. Two hundred gap would be ehh...and anything beyond that is sort of a ‘how is each individual case like’?

Modern AU (aka not TES Modern AU) I guess like 10 ish gap is the most? Not much higher than that because then you get weird things of like ‘oh I was a teenager when you were born’ stuff and that rubs me the wrong way.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?

I mean I’m a bit selective with rping, like...I can’t up and ship with someone if I don’t know them. And yes, that has happened in the past and it made me not want to ship ever again because someone didn’t know/didn’t care that it’s not cool to write my character for me. And horribly OOC too. Yuck.

Honestly we’d have to be mutuals for a while before I’d be okay with shipping. Especially if it was J’hasi because LET ME TELL YOU THAT BOY FEEL TOO GOTDAMN MUCH FOR HIM GOTDAMN HEART. And yeah they have to have chemistry. And while most of my characters are more easygoing with the romance and boinking stuff, J’hasi is one of those that’s hard to get to that point because Trust Issues and whatnot. Anyone’s welcome to try, just know that we’d have to know each other and the muses in question would have to have some chemistry before anything progresses beyond verbal sparring.

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY’RE CONSIDERED NS.FW?

Once someone goes beyond the belt, that’s the point that I’d say yeah that’s nsfwy-stuffs. Smooches and whatnot are safes, making out, etc, but once someone starts digging around in the other’s pants then yeah that’s a decent marker. I’d likely readmore it once it got beyond smooches for sake of people who don’t want to read two muses fooling around with each other but it wouldn’t get the NSFW tag until aforementioned marker.

WHO ARE OTHER MUSES YOU SHIP YOUR MUSE WITH?

I thought I was asked this before x_x UHHHHMMM usually it’s more of ‘who’s possible’, since I don’t set anything in stone until the characters meet in RP. I may misread a character and then the ship would be weird once I learn my mistake, so I tend to ask lots of questions of the person in question like ‘if x met y and they did z, how would they react?’ I do this with situations outside of shipping too because I LIKE LEARNING ABOUT CHARACTERS MANG.

Private ships are private ships, usually self-indulgent whatever to help me practice writing interpersonal communication and possibly sexytiems so I can learn what sounds natural because it’s a new type of writing for me, same as when I was first learning how to write actiony stuffs and MAJOR DOOM plots and whatever. The pronoun game kills me because 90% of it is gay. Maarzi and her gf Riheh is one of my fave ships because MAARZI IS SUCH A FUCKING TEASE AND THEN RIHEH CATCHES HER OFF-GUARD CONSTANTLY AND I LOVE THEM.

...I just realized I haven’t done any straight NSFW yet aside from that thread with Moj and Sham. I should...probably remedy that. Oops.

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?

I’m fine with your character feeling as they will, it’s your character, that’s how they do. It’s when you try to push it onto my character without asking for permission that I get irritated. Like by all means, a character can make passes at mine, flirt, w/e, that’s totally fine. It’s when someone thinks that because my muse reacts a certain way back that they think it’s canon then, which. No. You ask me.

Sometimes my characters flirt back because that’s just how they are. They might be trying to use your muse’s apparent interest to suit their needs. Muses may not explain their reasoning for acting x way, so it’s better to ask me to see if it’s genuine ‘ay let’s ship’ vs ‘my character is using yours to get out of a situation or for their own selfish gain’. Plus, if I don’t know you, a ship isn’t going to happen. I need to know the mun before I make any commitments.

HOW OFTEN DO YOU LIKE TO SHIP?

I’m with Dust!mod on this one, when it makes sense. I’m not romantically inclined irl, so it’s not like I Need it, it’s just something fun and new to play with, like when you get a new toy. You have lots of other toys, and that’s yet another you have at your disposal. Say that you think that the situation would be more exciting if Mr. Dinosaur came in and interrupted the tea party with some dire news from the front, or maybe he wants to confess that he loves Mr. Sheep and doesn’t want Mr. Sheep to elope with Tonka Truck, or that Tonka Truck was actually using Mr. Sheep for his billions in assets to make war on the Hot Wheels regime. It could be integral to the plot, or just give another facet to it, adding some extra drama to the Shit Going Down. The world is your oyster, friend.

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?

Nnnnnnah. I tried AU stuff with other fandoms, didn’t like, and I don’t need multiple verses of the same TES verse to handle. Not to mention like...why would you multiship when you can have polyamory? Way easier imo. Imagine the cuddlepiles. The only exception I have for this is Modern!TES but that’s more of ‘this is my self-indulgent paradise, I’ll make everyone hold hands if I want to’, and that’s...kinda my personal verse since I haven’t really talked about it much and I don’t think other people would be into it lmao

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?

If it’s friends, lovers, rivals, sworn enemies, whatever relationship a muse has with another, it’s all good in my book. It’s great to have character-developing interactions no matter how it’s brought about, if your friend is concerned about x habit you have, or if you got the hots for some new friend on the block, or if you can’t fucking stand your new co-worker/peer, or someone decided that You Need To Die For X Reason And You Just Won’t Go Quietly.

I don’t hold any over the others in terms of importance, like sometimes I’m more in the mood for rival battles, sometimes I just want nerds to cuddle and read together. It just depends on what mood I’m in for at the moment.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?

Uhhhhhh I can’t think of any atm. I get a stupid grin on my face when me and @brothersofthedominion come up with ideas for our plots involving a giant golden boy and a srs golden girl, but my current favorite ship that I think about a lot is stuck in self-indulgent paradise world.

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?

I gotta know who tf you are first. Ask interactions are good for this, because then it unlocks the possibility of rps, which then once I have a good idea of who you are, then there’s a chance of shipping. Else it’s gonna end up being your muse tryna flirt with mine with little chance of getting anywhere other than flirting back or in J’hasi’s case, likely a big fat |:/

#bc of mentions #aglitchinemotion #brothersofthedominion #therunawayscamps #therunawayscamp #LOTS OF WORDS #this was a good way to wake up tho #i might actually link this in my rules page honestly #ooc #shiprules

[drennalynspast]

[ chemistry of a car crash ]

Thursday, May. 01, 2008

<extremerage>i almost got run over by a car today by just walking across the street.  it pisses me off with the fact that the car was a a large distance, but it -still- sped up despite the fact that i was halfway across the street.  i mean, if i didn't fucking run the last few parts i would have gotten run over by the damn car.  ignorant and cruel bastard that driver was.  who the hell do they think they are -- thinking that others will submit to them.  assholes.  i swear, if i didn't value my life (and was some manic depressed suicidal being) i would have just stood there and let them fucking hit me.  make them teach a fucking lesson not to fuck around like that.  actually...the pissed off and angry part of me right now regrets running from the car.  i should have died or became injured just for the sake of ruining someone else's life. (or better yet, i become uninjured and they end up getting hurt themselves by swerving at the last minute >:D)  i hope they [the driver] becomes miserable emotionally and financially if they ever do fuck up someone while driving like that ever again. sick bastards in this world. </extremerage>

anyways,  uhm... previous past few days i feel like i have been some kind of antisocial hermit.  me being bothered about my face deterred me somewhat from wanting to go out much lol.  i don't know...part of me just wants to be alone, yet aother part of me wanted to go talk with people. 

i went to this easter egg thingy that CRU held.  i was thoroughly disappointed because i got crappy candy, and i didn't win anything..oh well, better luck next time :/

i realized that ever since i dropped org 2, i have been paying attention more towards my social status.  when i was in organic, i never really thought about loneliness and all that shit.  i mean....most of the people i talk to and meet happen to be in my organic class.  i used to see them a lot and study with them...but now...i just don't anymore.  such a void in my life *sigh*

sometimes...i feel like i am detached from society..liike at the KE meeting, i just felt so weird and out of place.  i didn't really want to talk to people, and it felt painful to just 'fake smile'.  perhaps it was my mood that day.  :| 

some of my 'friends' made it in pharmacy school  (the summer).  i am not jealous.  i am happy that they made it.  i mean...i shouldn't be jealous.  they deserved getting in for their hard work.  it somewhat saddens me that i feel like the gap is becoming greater in our friendship (as if there was never a gap in the first place...yeah right >.>).  part of me feels inferior, but i'm not going to dwell on it.  maybe, in a way, this will pressure me to try harder because i don't want to be left behind....  i do understand that people have their own pace in their agenda - not everyone is the same.  i also know that other people were unsuccessful in getting into pharm school for summer/fall - so i am not alone....

i found out one of my 'friends' also happens to work out the same time around i do at night.  she suggested that we work out more together.  luckily we both work out in coincidental times. yeah, it's nice to talk to someone every now and then.

this guy from swosu added me on facebook.  he also added me to his msn.  i haven't met him personally.  i only spoke with him once on msn - a rather lenghty convo.  i kept feeling weird and suscpicious...liike..i have heard of him before.  then it dawned on me that he used to date the former president of kappa epsilon.  what the hell...i never really understood that.  she was wayy older than him and in pharmacy school.  and he..is a freakin' freshman who used to be a music major (at the time they were dating).  i remember reading her status on facebook: [insert her name] is through with pathological liars and people who have no backbone.  i am not really friends with the former ke president.

after i saw some pictures of them to confirm they used to go out, i am not sure what to think of this guy.  i mean...yeah people make mistakes and shit in the past.  maybe we shouldn't judge them based upon that.  of course people can't be expected to like everyone that their friend likes (or hates).  i  am just paraonoid if i ever do manage to actually meet him personally and become 'friends' it will just be weird.  i really have no idea what he did to that girl.  it would be rude of me to randomly intrude her and ask her what happened between them. i really don't know what to think at the moment.  meanwhile, i am loving the block feature on msn. 

based on most of the things i have stated in this entry, i conclude that i am quite a cruel person.  i am willing to harm myself or allow myself to become hurt.  i secretly may wish for foul deeds to happen among people.  though i believe it will only go to that extent.  never (do i recall) have i vocally and pasionatelly detested someone.  i never cuss or scream at them...calling them a faggot and asshole.  i don't think it is in my character to be manipulative and scheming as well - creating scenarios that will potentially harm others.  i just don't have it in me to do such things.... hahha weak minded i am. x_x.

i know that i am not a nice person...i just don't show it much to people. two-faced as they call it. if they knew how i really was...i don't know what they would think.  perhaps it is betrayal - people dislike being lied to? 

oh...i do see improvements in my skin though... hmmm that makes things somewhat better.