#shinjuku nakamura i trash talk alot about your legacy but you did more for me than my closest ever had. ur empire was everything to me

[schwarzeneggr]

this is how i learned to draw kisses. worse than a "learn to draw manga" book written by a white guy. this guy is going to eat the other guys face. despite everything it still is the yaoi that made me smile when i was facing unrelentless childhood violence and trauma and it still makes me smile unironically. Im not even mocking it. pointing the obvious flaws with all the love in my heart still intact

#i dont feel like scrolling thru my plethora of luzeni to try and find a kiss #maybe i never learned. did i even ever draw lup and zeni kissing #i dont even know. these drawings are a manic blur #shinjuku nakamura i trash talk alot about your legacy but you did more for me than my closest ever had. ur empire was everything to me #to this day 10+ years later here i am watching ur shit so yhat i dont kill myself tonight #youv popularized terrible clichés and probably set back lgbt advancement by years with ur half bishonen half fucked up gay creatures but #i recognize the good among the trash #its been years and i still watch ur stuff at snail pace bc i have to stop coz its so embarassing #some things never change and for good #this is home this is safety this is cover from the bad thoughts and the tears #10y and it still is #more formative than anything my father ever told me ever #i still get the yearning that i could do this #i could become a yaoi mangaka when i see ur stuff. i still remember the stories i wrote #i still remember the entire yaoi oppening i made in my mind #i cannot for the life of me find the music now but i remember #which is crazy because there is very little i remember about my childhood #except little moments where i interacted with my favouritr manga #and the horrors. lol