#shes a huge part of our daily lofe our daily routine and this change is. difficult to say the least.

[our-celia]

lily is ready to let go but im not ready to let go and i feel so unbalanced and stressed without her near, and im happy for her that shes setting down the burden of the persona that hurt her but i miss her, i miss her “personality”

#shes like. integrating more and becoming a lot more grounded and unified with me #and i know its a good thing and im not fighting it #but i feel this big hole #shes not in the house anymoee #last time i visited her she was literally packing up boxes like she was getting ready to move out #upsetting. upsetting and scary. #just very bittersweet and i dont feel ready to let go right now #i know she feels happier and much more at peace and i want that too #shes resolved a lot of the issues that have haunted her for years so im glad #but what will i do without her closeby what will i do when im overwhelmed and need her comfort #i feel so disregulated and frazzled #whos supposed to ride the bus now???? *splits a mo willems pigeon introject* #that last one is a joke but fr how am i supposed to manage sensory overload without her. im so stressed #she might be becoming more of an ish rather than fully fusing but even so #other than me (host) she was the one who fronted most last year #shes a huge part of our daily lofe our daily routine and this change is. difficult to say the least.