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unhingedera · 3 years

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self para: tá mo chroí istigh ionat

self para of: devin mcgowan

trigger warnings: miscarriage

mentions: natalia marseille-mcgowan

Two weeks have passed now since the McGowan’s lives have turned upside down, and it has been really tough for both women to recover from it, especially Natalia, whom has decided to take a break from her work and just rest. Devin did the same, with someone else temporarily taking her place to look after the gym while she stayed with her through it. It was slowly getting better, and the dancer was little by little going back to her usual self, the married couple back to their regularly scheduled programming. Yet, it has still been in Devin’s mind, that very day, she could still feel the ache in her chest whenever she thinks about their little angel. They didn’t deserve this. Nat didn’t deserve this. She couldn’t ever think of a reason why this would happen to her. Natalia…she is the most wonderful person that Devin has ever met, someone who changed her life, made her believe in soulmates. Natalia McGowan is her soulmate. Things may have been out of order for the two, from how their relationship grew after they got drunkenly hitched months ago, though that happening made Devin realize how she was deeply in love with Natalia, more than just what they were before all that. She would never ever be great at words whenever she talks about it, but the woman is the fire that brings her soul to life, someone who actually encouraged her to go back and do the thing she loves doing the most. However, she wanted to focus on them instead, starting a family with the love of her life.

Which brings us to right at this very moment. It was a Friday afternoon, and Devin decided to finish her work early so she could spend more time with Natalia. Neither didn’t want to go out so they just stayed in their quarters, sitting in the living room while watching some reality dating show on television. It didn’t take her long to realize that the brunette has fallen asleep with her head on her lap, all bundled up in a blanket. The wrestler couldn’t help but feel this warmth spread from her chest just by staring at the other. Nothing can ever beat this feeling...her becoming a champion for the first time, being at the main event, or even stepping into a real wrestling ring for the first time. It was this, meeting Natalia at the most unexpected circumstance. The feeling was something she didn’t really know of before, not even a clue on how to interpret it. Little did she know at the time that her heart has been stolen by the Frenchwoman.

All of this…she couldn’t even find the answer to the question to why the universe has decided to put her on this hardship, why make her suffer and hinder her from the very thing she wanted to share with Devin the most? To start a family with her? It was very hard to understand for the older woman. She wanted to be mad at whatever has caused this, but she couldn’t. But then she would always remember one of the many things her mother has taught her. “Sometimes there are things that happen to us that we do not understand at first, lass. It takes time.”

Speaking of, her phone started buzzing on the table, and she quickly picks it up from the coffee table so it wouldn’t wake up the sleeping dancer in her arms.

“Top of the mornin’ to ya, Devy.”

Her mother’s voice instantly makes Devin smile, especially with the nickname she has given to her. It felt like it has been forever since she’s last heard her voice, with how rough it had been for the couple, sometimes being able to hear her voice is enough.

“Afternoon, Ma. Why the early mornin’ call? S’everything okay there? The farm alright?”

“Mhmm, it’s a grand aul day today, lass. Just thought about callin’ ya. How are ya doin’? Natalia? How’s she doin’?”

The question makes her look down once more at her wife. And before she responds, she leans down to plant a soft kiss one her forehead.

“She’s doin’ fine, ma. We’re both off work and restin’, fell asleep on my lap. Ya want me to wake her up so ya two could chitchat?” She says as she combs her fingers through Natalia’s hair.

“No, no. I wanted to talk to ya, lass. Somethin’ I’ve thought about, figured it would be a great idea.”

Devin only hums in response, waiting for what her mother was about to say. Her tone seemed different now, a bit more serious than her usual one.

“After what happened with Nat, and I’m sure ya two would love to try again—how about…how do I put this lass…how about ya carry the child this time? I don’t understand much about whatever science you and yer wife were mentionin’ over the phone, but I thought…why not ya try it too?”

The idea made her feel things she couldn’t define, it was like a light bulb was switched on in her brain. They did decide at first for Natalia to carry their child because of her wrestling career. But now that the idea was mentioned by her mother…wrestling can always wait. And like what she did say to the other not so long ago…nothing else can ever be more important that her family, her wife. Wrestling can always be something she can come back to.

“That’s not a bad idea at all, ma. Thank you—I—that made me realize a very important thing. And erm…those things ya’ve said before? About family? I…I feel like I understand it now.”

Devin couldn’t help but give her wife another kiss this time, and she just knows how her mother is smiling proudly on the other end of the line.

“I’m sure Natalia would love the idea too. You two are goin’ to be alright, Devin. I know this because I know ya, and I know the woman that ya are. We never give up, yeah?”

“Of course, I would rather give up everythin’ else than her…I really…I love her so fuckin’ much, ma. And I just want to be able to give her the best things in the world, the things she deserve.”

Her mother and her said their goodbyes after that, and then she lays of her back, pulling up her wife in her arms.

“Tá mo chroí istigh ionat, Natalia.”

#miscarriage tw #self para: devin mcgowan

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