#selene call d the vet and told them we were bringing him in for an emergency visit and i was just sitting on the floor numb

[healingheartdogs]

All of my planning and worrying didn't matter because he went on his own last night at home and it was traumatic as fuck for me and Selene both.

#dont read the tags if you dont want any details #he didnt seem that bad yesterday #he was swollen but he was still up and moving around on his own #he even took all his meds and ate a full bowl of food without any trouble #we called the vet to ask them to call us back to discuss options yesterday around 4 #vet called us back around 7 to discuss new meds to keep him comfortable while we got home euth set up for him #and we agreed ro go in today to pick them up for him and then got off the phone #and like five minutes later Banana suddenly started panting hard #so me and Selene sat on the floor with him trying to figure out what was wrong #and he started having a seizure which we're used to so we were keeping him company waiting for it to pass like normal #only it didnt #he suddenly died in my arms instead while I cried and screamed and tried to get him to start breathing again #selene call d the vet and told them we were bringing him in for an emergency visit and i was just sitting on the floor numb #cuz i knew the vet was too far away to be any help and even if they werent it wouldn't matter #he was already gone #he was gone so fast and I wasnt ready #it was so fucking horrible #im never going to be able to get the way he looked before he collapsed out of my head #my poor old man #that was not how it was supposed to go im so sorry