#saying this extra quiet bc its maudlin but

[icouldhyperfixatehim]

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#saying this extra quiet bc its maudlin but #do you ever get crushed under the weight of an evening thought? #like today i watched a good tv finale. and i'm reading a book thats been adapted many times #i have all these books in my room and lists and lists and lists of shows and films and books and podcasts and art that i want to experience #and i'm just suddenly wheezing under the fear and crushed by the sadness that i don't know if i'm ever gonna make something or tell a story #that matters to somebody the way things have mattered to me #and what do i mean? if that ends up being the case? #... #i did warn that it was maudlin #nevermind me the black bile is upon me tonight #ag seafóid