#sapphire don't worry about your response to me being stream of consciousness as you can see mine was exactly the same

[all-seeing-ifer]

so it turns out you dunno as much about star trek as i assumed you did (i seen you reblog a few posts about it and thought you were a bigger fan). and tho star trek is like a big ol' franchise, for that osmosis meme, i'm sending you star trek and you can do with that what you will <3

You know what Sapphire I'm going to really try and flex my brain muscles for this one! I'm gonna see if I can do the whole franchise! Welcome to A Complete History of Star Trek, as told by someone who's seen the new films, like three of the old films, and a couple episodes of the original series, and is otherwise getting all of this from their friends and people they follow on tumblr!

We start with the original star trek! It's the one everyone thinks of when they think of star trek, with kirk, spock, bones, and all them lot! It's about the crew of a spaceship in the far future who go around exploring different planets and meeting new alien species. This also appears to be the premise of every other star trek show.

Kirk is the captain of the spaceship. I have it on good authority that despite what fans and the newer installments will try to make you think, he is in fact not an annoying womanising guy but is a very nice young man who respects women (and is maybe bisexual???) good for him!

The crew also includes his second in command, Spock, who is very logical except when him and Kirk are having gay moments. Then there's Bones, who is a doctor and talks a lot about being a doctor. There's Uhura, who seems to be kind of a girlboss and is in charge of... I want to say communications? I think she was part of the first interracial kiss ever shown on tv or something like that, which is pretty cool! good on you star trek! There's also a delightful russian man named Chekov, who was my favourite part of the bits and pieces I've seen, and a guy called Sulu, who is. there. I know nothing about this man.

The show is an episodic monster of the week show, where there's a new alien/threat of some kind in each episode. These threats include alien warriors called klingons, fluffy aliens called tribbles that can multiply infinitely, and a hive mind called the borg. dear god I am really hoping the borg is a star trek thing and not like battlestar galactica. A lot of the episodes are very horny, like the one where spock has to fuck someone or he'll literally die. This is despite it being made in the 60s when being horny wasn't allowed on tv, so good on you again star trek!

They also made some films based on star trek. The first one isn't very good, the second is about a villain called khan and is great! Spock dies in it, but don't worry, he comes back in the next movie! How? Great question, don't ask me. I think kirk's son also dies in one of these movies? Does kirk have a son? Did I fever dream that?

The most important film is the one where they go back in time to the 80s to save the whales. This was my favourite of the ones I saw, but I feel like nerds might hate it. It seems too fun.

After the original series they made star trek the next generation, which is all about patrick stewart as a new ship captain called picard. Much like kirk, he also has a second in command, but his second command is very impulsive and hot headed instead of being logical, so they have kind of the opposite dynamic. At one point, picard and kirk got to meet each other in one of the films.

Picard's crew includes a robot called data, who everyone loves!! Even I love him, and I've never met this man! He's a robot, and apparently he often comes across very autistic and/or aroace, so he's really racking up points with me! Other crew members include geordi laforge, who is besties with data and is blind and wears a visor that is presumably a seeing aid of some kind, and a klingon who's not evil like the other klingons!

After the next generation came voyager! This was the first star trek show with a lady captain, which was very exciting! Her name is Janeway and Voyager is mostly about straightbaiting the audience with her and her boy best friend (and also maybe time travel?)

Voyager was followed by Deep Space Nine, which was different to the previous star treks because it was set on a space station instead of a ship. It had many characters, one of whom was an alien called Odo!

Then they made Enterprise, which was also different to all the previous star treks because it was a prequel (presumably about the original crew of the enterprise) I don't think people liked it.

Speaking of things people don't like, they made a bunch of reboot films in the 2000s and 2010s! From what I remember of them I liked them quite a bit, but this seems to be a pretty unpopular opinion. They are very different from the original series that they're based on and don't characterise Kirk correctly and also benedict cumberbatch is playing a character who was originally played by an indian guy which is pretty weird, but at least they have a banging score courtesy of michael giacchino! What happened to that guy anyway, I feel like he hasn't had a memorable score in years. Come back michael. we miss you.

In the years since the reboots they have also made a few more shows, such as a prequel about a young picard, an animated series called lower decks which is more comedic than the live action shows, and a show called brave new worlds, which is the current series! They had a trans character for a bit but they got killed off, which people were very upset about.

and that's it. that's what star trek is!

#long post #ifer rambles #asks and stuff #sapphire don't worry about your response to me being stream of consciousness as you can see mine was exactly the same