I don't care that you're of lower station
Or primed to sate my dark temptations
Why can't you understand?
Let me explain...
It feels SO good to have time off so I can have the inspiration to draw again. Anyways this song makes me think of Roman and I'm proud of this piece.
If you like it, please reblog it.
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A TV series about the early Roman emperors, except:
It's a comedy.
It starts with Julius Caesar (who keeps correcting the narrator that he's a dictator, not an emperor, as if it makes any difference).
The narrator skips over military campaigns like the Gallic War and Claudius' conquest of Britain in favor of "Haha check out Augustus' shitty poetry" and "Caesar once tried to overthrow the republic with a wardrobe malfunction."
You can tell the narrator gets bored of certain emperors because he keeps going off on tangents about Julius and Augustus after they're supposed to be dead.
The characters get frustrated because they're trying to act out a serious drama but nooo the narrator would rather gossip and it's only 50% in chronological order.
Some of the characters start pointing out things the narrator says that are physically impossible, don't make logical sense, or which their enemies made up.
Tiberius storms out partway through his episode and the rest of the narrative has him played by a sock puppet voiced by Caligula doing a falsetto.
Caligula attempts to sic the Praetorian guards on the narrator for making up filthy lies about him. Like, he's still a huge dick, just not in the way the narrator claims.
Claudius just wants to teach the audience cool facts about the Etruscans but the narrator talks over him.
Nero is actually a Korean boy band singer who keeps trying to explain to people he's a musician, not the emperor, and isn't sure what he's doing in ancient Rome. No one listens.
Galba is played by Rob Halford, the "stately homo of heavy metal."
Galba, Otho and Vitellius have to share an episode, and even then the narrator half-asses it and leaves with 10 minutes of runtime to fill, at which point the characters (including the dead ones) break into the production studio and reveal the narrator is Suetonius.
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This one's for the gays... (queers, bis, pans, trans, etc)
Gonna run this poll for a week... this IS for actual reasons, so please vote... Going on the honor system that queer folks only will vote, but I know there's no way to know for sure, so please be nice.
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watching NHL playoffs and thinking about my boys again and all i can imagine is some complete asshole doing his best to piss Roman off the entire game (and it is working) except, plot twist, Logan has overheard every exchange near his net and he is Pissed Off As Well (which. that's never good if you're trying to play against him).
anyway, aforementioned asshole gets this solid shot on net -- an absolute laser beam in the middle of a messy scrum -- and Logan is so petty and spiteful and determined not to let This Guy score on His Captain that its like he unlocks a new, never-before-seen reflex just so he can make the save. the crowd doesn't know how he did it. his team doesn't know how he did it. LOGAN doesn't even really know how he did it. but DAMN if it isn't the most satisfying thing in the world to watch that smug bastard skulk off the ice with his tail between his legs
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I relate to Suetonius because I, too, am way more interested in the Romans' goofy quirks and sex scandals and drama than in any of their military campaigns.
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GREATEST MOMENT
He deserves his crown, this is years of seeing fanon art and fics finally manifesting for him, he’s been so goddam patient 😭❤️
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