#reggies-eyeliner's input

[june-again]

JUNE MY BELOVED HOW ARE YOU DOING

OH ELLIE!! MY DEAR!!! i'm doing so well. today was a special day and i do hope you won't mind my rambling.

up here in canada we've been having a dreadfully strange winter, and i've been yearning for rain and spring. after three months of snow and huge temperature fluctuations, finally, today, we got rain. and i hadn't even seen it in the forecast, but my boyfriend and i were leaving the bookstore we had visited (for the sheer enjoyment of the pretty displays and public piano) and he said he thought it was going to rain.

i asked him if he was okay with a detour. he seemed intrigued, and i assured him that it was not going to be a pretty detour, but a detour nonetheless. he agreed and voiced his curiosity. we drove for a few minutes to a park on the outskirts of town—neither of us grew up in this city, and so it was new to him and hard to remember directions to for me. we pulled in and stepped out into the slush of the parking lot.

we had only just made it to the entrance to the path when we noticed the rain had begun. i turned to him, and asked him if he wanted to turn back. he shook his head. we kept on.

my makeup ran, and our coats were soaked, and our feet grew cold. our hands, too—but we held onto each other. as we reached the halfway point of the loop, we slowed to admire the rain and the slush and the naked trees and birdsong and each other. i took my (wet) glasses off, tilted my face back, and let the rain swallow my sensation. after a few moments, my boyfriend kissed me, and we kept on.

i've never been kissed in the rain before. maybe i've been kissed when it's been sprinkling, and i've dreamt about it plenty of times. all i can think is that the little, hopeless, sophomore june, three years ago, would have had weak knees at the experience, no different than i.

i've often thought that my truest self has rain careening over their face. right there, in that moment—i was freezing, damp, uncomfortable, oh-so-alive. and there, not alone for a change, i was admired as myself.

no, it really was not a pretty detour. not unless you find beauty in grey skies, in wet socks, in running mascara and cold lips and aching grip. not unless you find beauty in keeping on when the rain comes.

#june's asks #ellie my beloved #i saw this ask while deep in my feels #i want to know how you're doing today #was there anything lovely for you today? #anything not so lovely? #tell <3 #reggies-eyeliner's input #music be the june of love #writeblr #journaling

[june-again]

I love you endlessly

GIGGLIGN i should be writing a research paper

#june's asks #reggies-eyeliner's input #AGFKHSDKLGKGJF #oops i guess i had a lot of affection to show you #whoops.... haha...

[june-again]

I think definitely the world would be a better place if we got married what do you say

OKAY FIRST OF ALL I LOVE YOU LOTS I think that was hopefully already clear BUT. you are so deserving of love and you're literally a ray of the prettiest most reflectiviest most beautiful ethereal light ever okay like u GLEAM AND GLOW AND LET YOUR POWER SHINE ALL AT ONCE!! DANG!! THAT'S PRETTY COOL LOVE

you also. do not have to be so hard on yourself. there are so many places to be at so many times so SLOW DOWN PLS you're doing the best u can and I!! am so proud of you for doing so!! life is hella rough but you're powering through it like a champ SO PLEASE TAKE TIME TO APPRECIATE YOURSELF BC HOLY SMOKES you've dealt with so much alone and now I am very glad you have people to help you!!! AND DEFINITELY KEEP ASKING FOR HELP THERE'S NOTHING WRONG IN DOING THAT BECAause yOU DESERVE TO BE SUPPORTED,🫶🫶🫶🕺🕺🕺

(warning talks of religion ahead 👍) and okay my life has been SO CRAZY BUT WE'RE GETTIN THRU IT??? UHHH WOWOWOW I joined praise team again after avoiding church for like six months 😭😭🫶🫶 and IT IS. DEFINITELY SO HELPFUL because even though I'm still working on it there is something so easing about knowing God's got your back do u feel me?? IM STILL WORKING A LOT ON FINDING MYSELF AFTER THE IDENTITY CRISIS OF 2021-2022 BUT IM still trying out different things and I've learned that is so totally okay !!

AAEJDRJH how about you dude?? I am still praying for you lots and I care about you sm so if you 💥 EVER need anything let me know okay I love you so much

ANYWAYS MY DUDE MAKE SURE TO DRINK A TON OF WATER AND EAT GOOD FOOD AND GET REST (emphasis on get rest sleep before 1 am bro (affectionate)) you're doing so so SO AMAZING fighting through all of your struggles and I hope you keep on fighting YOU'RE DOING SO GREAT BC LOOK AT U GO!! UR STILL ALIVE!! YELL HEAH!! 🫶🫶🕺🕺🕺🕺

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH OKAY PLEASE GET REST AND REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE WORTH IT YOU ARE SO LOVED MWAHHHDHXA

lenn my darling... look, you've written five paragraphs worrying for me and one vaguely concerned with yourself.... DON'T BE A HYPOCRITE, OKAY?? i love to see you sharing the love you have but i hope it's coming from a place of knowing how loved you ARE. so ??? i appreciate you a ton man

the identity crises... yeees, yesssss, we been there. of course it will never quite end, but that's really what teenage years are all about. like, scientifically. we are figurin it out in adolescence.

however, even on days when you don't know who you are, on days where you can't seem to get yourself to fit into anything you thought you should be able to? your #1 identity, beyond anything else, is someone who is loved. ISNT THAT WILD. THATS WHO YOU ARE. THAT IS WHO YOU WERE MADE TO BE. YOU WERE HASHTAG MADE TO BE LOVED. and so APPRECIATE YOURSELF TOO?? OKAY?? and take lots of deep breaths and smile and gosh i know you're working yourself really hard right now!! school be like that!! but your best is enough ofc and dont ever forget that.

#june's asks #reggies-eyeliner's input #religion tw #christianity tw #i saw u like that one post from like two years ago where hana and i were talking about the meaning of life #and i just rambled on and on because i was figurin it out #i reread it because you put it in my notifs and like... #man it's just so cool to see where i was and where i am now #yk?

[june-again]

are you okay love ??

resting bpm of 113. so idk

#june's asks #reggies-eyeliner's input #might have to go to emergency again if it gets worse #or take more ativan #genuinely not balling #health tw #like i just woke up. i was asleep for five hours and i woke up with this and yeahhhh #i deserve to complain and be distressed on this blog but you don't deserve trying to help so don't get too stressed friend

[june-again]

I love u hhgrbhhrrehehdgr melts on the floor

HEY HMMMMMMMGNNGNFG I LOVE YOU TOO FJDS stores your melted form in a nice pretty mug

#june's asks #reggies-eyeliner's input #ellie my beloved #hey :) if u see this tonight. good job today ! and sleep well #and if u see it tomorrow ! congrats on a new sunrise. do your best today and ily :)))) #kiss u on forehead <3

[june-again]

I love you how are you cherish yourself and remember to breathe ilysm HEHEHE🫶🫶🫶🫶🕺🕺🕺🕺

EEEHHHHHHHHHDSHFDHF MY BELOVEDDDD THANK YOU I AM doing okay ! honestly a lot of shit went down this week that i am not prepared to talk about on tumblr but i'm getting through it all very well and i am very supported by a ton of people around me aajskda

#reggies-eyeliner's input #june's asks #and im balling bc today the roads were sketchy and they cancelled college #online lectures ftw #i have been breathing! i have been taking it one thing at a time #dare i say i have been coping healthily #thank you for this message love </3 #how are you. send me an ask with everything and anything #do u need prayers #do you need encouragement #do you need a hug #do you need a high five #i will do it #i love you #kisses you

[june-again]

JUNE LOVE YOU'RE DOING AMAZING I AM SO PROUD OF YOU KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK!!! U CAN GET THROUGH THIS DAY I BELIEVE IN YOU🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️🫂🫂

HMNNGNMMAMMWM THANK YOU DARLING 😭 guess who DID THE STUFF ANYWAYS and is now playing nfs heat 😍😍💚💚💥💥💥💥

#june's asks #reggies-eyeliner's input #awe #always the sweetest #kiss u on forehead