#recently she told ne she was upset with me for how i treated my siblings when i was a teenager

[iloveyoubecauseyouarelove]

Hearing my ma go off about betrayed trust like 💀

It's not that deep not everything some does or doesnt do that you Dont like is Not a dig at you

Like my sibling didnt mention they gave 20 dollars to a friend for a game. I dont think it's unreasonable for my ma to have want to know but also it's not unreasonable for my sibling to have just not said. My sibling has hundreds of dollars, im sure 20 seems inconsequential. Should they have lied and said 5 dollars when asked? No, especially not with how hypocritical my ma is about even the "smallest of lies". But should my ma have feelings of betrayal at not being told to begin with? Also no, my ma just likes to think every behavior she doesnt like is an intentional personal attack

Like 1 time i was punished and had to leave my smartphone at home and take a backup phone to school. Keyword: school. I have no reason to be on the phone that has no apps no web right? And my ma doesnt always text me during school. She also told me i dont need to keep the phone On. So i left it off the whole day except for when i check my phone at lunch, around the time she texts me yeah? I dont get any texts so i turn the phone back off until after school. Turns out my ma texted me a Little bit after i turned off the phone. But she starts berating me about not texting her as a way to get back at her for punishing me and taking away my phone. I was just so ??? Damn confused. I explained to her that i turned my phone on at lunch and then turned back off after and she didnt care? And then she was like why did you have the phone off anyways? I told her she said to leave it off. She said she meant the ringer and i didnt know how to do that but also she said i could turn the phone off. She didnt care, she thought she disproved me and i was just trying to make excuses for trying to get back at her. I Might have told her i was going to answer during class and i dont have time during passing cause my classes were so far. She still didnt care. She put it in her mind i was trying to punish her for punishing me and so that's it. I wouldnt be able to change her mind

#rey speaks #my ma is a frustrating woman #i hate living with her #and i cant even defend my siblings because she'll take that as a personal attack and. she gets scary :( #i cant handle being yelled at. like im 1 part desensitized 1 part really bummed #one time i tried to defend my brother who cried at the end of baby driver. he was like in kindergarten #and she was being insensitive and yelling at him because why is he crying at a not sad movie? #i had enough she was being a real bitch for that so i told her she was like my bros teacher who yells for no reason #and that yelling isnt going to make him stop crying it just worsens the pressure #the only good thing about sticking up for my brother? #is that my ma started yelling at Me. how DARE i compare my ma to such a bitch of a woman. she works hard to be a good mom #my ma feels bad about that night (good) but she never brings up what i told her (so she prob forgot) #my ma is extremely emotionally constipated and has severe trust issues :'( #i really hate living with her. but our relationship has gotten better #recently she told ne she was upset with me for how i treated my siblings when i was a teenager #(we butted heads because i was lazy unmotivated and not a good enough sister: because i was a witch mind you. not bitch) #i found it really hard to love my siblings when they didnt respect my personal space and my ma insisted they dont care #like i mean it. i was prepared to never be loved by my siblings if it meant i got the space i wanted and deserved as a person. #im so thankful i have a good relationship with my siblings. but i also would have been okay with that not being the case #there was a short time i hated my ma for how she Expected me to act. and for threatening to cart me off with my stranger perv of a biofathe #oop i derailed this post lmao rip #this is probably the sort of trauma only therapy can fix. or these v_nt posts :')