#really unfortunate that the sapphic senate is so white but oh well

[lesbianlotties]

Ronancetober Day 6: Superhero/Super powers - Birds of Prey AU

words: 1490

i present to you... BIRDS OF PREY AU ✨💎 starring:

Robin Buckley as Harley Quinn, Nancy Wheeler as Black Canary, Vickie as Renee Montoya, Chrissy as Huntress, Max as Cassandra Cain, Henry Creel as Black Mask, B*lly as Victor Zsasz

unfortunately i couldn't rewrite the entire movie but maybe a miracle will happen and i'll finish this someday? in the meantime, here's this:

“They say, if you want to tell a story right, you gotta start at the beginning,” Robin said. “But who the fuck is they anyway? You don’t have to answer, by the way.”

“I wasn’t going to,” Max rolled her eyes.

“The point is,” Robin continued, holding up a finger as if she were making a very important point. “This is my story, and I’m telling it, so I’ll start where I fucking want.”

They were in Robin’s car, on their way to the Amusement Mile, the abandoned park, where a shady deal was waiting for them. But Max didn’t know that. So, Robin had to act like everything was still okay between them. Like she hadn’t made a deal with Henry Creel, her life in exchange for a diamond stolen by a sneaky little pickpocket by the name of Max Mayfield. Like she hadn’t kidnapped Max, broken her out of jail, handcuffed her to her own hand, robbed a store with her, painted her nails a nice sparkly color, gotten emotionally attached to her, decided to hide her from Henry’s evil schemes until she pooped that ridiculous diamond she ate, escaped her house with her after some asshole set it on fire after Robin was betrayed by a dozen other assholes, which prompted Robin to call Henry Creel to arrange a deal again, give up the sweet kid in exchange for protection, so everyone in Gotham would finally leave her alone. Not complicated at all. 

“Nobody has time to sit there and listen all about my tragic backstory,” Robin laughed as she drove, “my dad selling me for a six-pack of beer, my time in medical school and then working as a psychiatrist in Arkham, becoming besties with a patient, breaking him out of the asylum and starting a life of crime, jumping into a vat of chemicals for my bestie, getting arrested by the Batman, getting in and out of jail several times, and then coming out to my bestie and getting kicked out because apparently, he thought we were dating, and he wants me to call him Joker even though his name is so obviously Steve.”

“That’s… way too much information, Robin,” Max rolled her eyes and tried to act like she didn’t love every little bit of it.

That lasted until they arrived at their destination and Robin effortlessly betrayed her. Robin tied her to a toilet like she was worth nothing, leaving her there with a simple, “I’m sorry kid, I really am.”

But, just when Max was starting to accept the fact that she was about to be opened up for stealing a silly little 30-carat diamond, she heard a noise coming from outside the bathroom. She could be wrong, but it definitely sounded like Robin was getting her ass kicked by that grumpy detective Vickie something. Except for… nope, that was definitely the sound of Vickie screaming for her life after Robin most likely kicked her off the window of the place, proudly claiming revenge for a sandwich or something equally as ridiculous and on-brand for Robin. So, Max was back to contemplating death when someone kicked open the bathroom door. She tried to scream, but there was tape covering her mouth.

“Did she really tape you to a damn toilet?” Nancy asked her. She probably preferred to be called Black Canary these days, but for that same reason, Max insisted on calling her Nancy Wheeler, her kind and cool neighbor that was incapable of staying out of trouble and now, apparently, worked for Henry Creel, the guy currently at the top of the charts in Gotham’s villains. Which wasn’t good news, because, if Nancy was there, it meant Henry’s creepy minion was close by.

“What are you guys doing?” Billy Hargrove asked when he entered the bathroom.

Max almost succeeded at not feeling worried about seeing Robin’s helpless body on a couch after getting shot with a tranquilizing dart.

But she couldn’t focus on that, not when Billy was pushing a knife toward Nancy and yelling, “Cut her open. Rip open her little tummy. Now! Rip it open!”

Now, Max was mostly sure that Nancy would’ve died before listening to that piece of shit, but before her theory was put to the test, someone shot a fucking arrow through Billy’s neck. Nancy had cut most of the tape holding Max to the toilet and she passed her the knife. Max had to work fast, she couldn’t miss what was going on outside the bathroom. Actually, even more important than that, she had to save her own life.

One second, there were four women in that room, all of them exchanging distrustful looks between them. Robin was lying on the couch, smiling and feeling only approximately ten percent of her body. Nancy was standing tall in front of the bathroom, protecting the kid she went there to save. Vickie was holding a gun, but she didn’t have the police badge anymore, and she was still a little breathless after climbing up the window Robin kicked her out of. And there was a complete stranger in the doorway. And then, a second later, they were all holding up their hands, helpless in front of an angry teenager waving a gun at them.

“I don’t know what the fuck is going on,” Max yelled at them and stopped to kick the lifeless body of Billy Hargrove, “But I know that this shit-stick just tried to gut me. So you,” she pointed her gun at Robin, “you owe me an apology, I thought you were different, I thought you were my friend. And you guys,” she recklessly pointed her gun from Nancy to Vickie and then back to Nancy, “you guys owe me an explanation. Nancy, why the hell are you working for Creel? Vickie, are you fucking suspended from the police? And you,” Max waved her gun at the stranger, “who the fuck are you?”

“They call me…” the stranger said with a clearly intentionally deep and mysterious voice, while taking off the hood of her oh-so-dark and badass cloak. But before she could say Huntress she got interrupted.

“Chrissy Cunningham,” Vickie said with awe.

“From the Cunnigham massacre!” Nancy added.

“That’s some childhood trauma right there,” Robin said with a grimace. “Wait. The shiny rock that this dummy kid swallowed… that diamond belonged to your filthy rich mafia family! I mean, before they were all brutally murdered. All, except you, apparently? Are you a ghost, by any chance? You sure look the part, I mean, don’t get me wrong, it suits you, but-”

“Robin,” Nancy interrupted her with a knowing look. For a second, all eyes were on them. Robin didn’t shut up that easily for just anybody, and Nancy didn’t speak so softly for just anybody either. Oh, there was some history there. But they had bigger problems, like Vickie quickly pointed out.

“Guys, we have bigger problems,” Vickie said, moving to the window and prompting the others to look too. “Henry Creel found us, and he bought himself an army.”

“We’re dead,” Chrissy laughed, earning odd looks from everyone for a second, but then they got distracted again.

“Oh, this is amazing!” Robin exclaimed, jumping on the couch now that her body was over the effects of the tranquilizing dart. “Oh, come on! Don’t look at me like that! Don’t you watch movies? Do you know what this means? It means we’re going to have to work together!” The skepticism was more than obvious on everyone’s faces, but Robin had an argument that immediately convinced all of them, “For the kid.”

So, there was Robin Buckley, a notorious insane criminal wanted dead by most people in Gotham, but that had a surprisingly big heart, big enough to risk it all for a kid she just met, trusting a complete stranger, a police officer, and a woman that she may or may not be in love with. There was Nancy Wheeler, who tried to be a singer and ended up working for a villain, while possibly hiding superpowers she inherited from her mother as well as complicated feelings for a certain insane criminal with blonde hair and an infectious and sweet smile. There was Vickie, freshly suspended from the police force, obsessed with bringing Henry Creel to justice above everything else including her reputation and well-being, but not over Max’s life. There was Huntress- Chrissy Cunningham, the sole survivor of an old massacre that just wanted to kill Billy Hargrove for his involvement in it, and now found herself unable to leave behind this group of strangers and that kid that needed help like she’d needed all those years ago. And, finally, there was Max Mayfield, Gotham’s best pickpocket, who had more or less innocently stolen an infamous 30-carat diamond, not suspecting that she was about to be the reason Gotham earned a new team of heroes… and Robin’s chaos on the side.

#really unfortunate that the sapphic senate is so white but oh well #I HAD SO MUCH FUN WITH THIS!!! #ronancetober #ronance #stranger things #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #vickie #chrissy cunningham #max mayfield #st #birds of prey #bop #stranger things fanfiction #ronance fanfiction #my fic