#put the vest on for a quick jaunt inside the store

[dontasktheradiodemon]

Costume Shopping (2/8/2021)

Alastor and Sir Pentious @usedhearts, in preparation for a Mardi Gras masquerade ball next Sunday, go get the supplies they need to make proper fancy costumes.

This requires breaking into a mall in the middle of the night.

This does NOT require copious handholding, hand smooching, or heart palpitations when they accidentally brush each other’s bare hands, but somehow they managed to squeeze some of that in anyway.

(Has either of them noticed the other’s crush yet? No.)

Sir Pentious

Telly looked at himself in the mirror, adjusting his bowtie for the hundredth time. That looked fine, didn't it? He thought so. He adjusted Hattie, and brushed off his shoulders. A nice black button up, and an embroidered black vest-- this was appropriate wear for going out shopping, right? He hoped so. He slithered over to sit on his bed. Now, he only had to wait for Alastor to show up. His eyes slowly slid back toward the full length mirror and he got up to slither back over-- just one more adjustment, he had to look perfect!

Alastor

As much as Alastor adored harmlessly startling Sir Pentious, today wasn't the day for it. Today he was going to be an absolute goddamned gentleman and an unparalleled delight, and that started by not arriving in a way designed to make Telly's hood go *floomp.*

So instead a nearby radio crackled to life. "Knock, knock."

Sir Pentious

The hood still floomps! But only a little, and he blinked as he turned from the mirror toward the radio that sat on his bedside table-- why was it there? Mind your own business, that's why. He slithered over and answered softly. "Yes? Alastor? Ah, come in?"

Alastor

“Are you asking me to acknowledge that I can hear you or are you inviting me in?”

Sir Pentious

"Ah, both?" He laughed a little.

Alastor

“A multi-purpose greeting! Very well! Incoming in three, two, one...”

No “boo” this time; he appeared out of the shadows near the bedside table, grinning his usual grin, dressed in his typical dress—except for his hair, which he’d taken the time and effort to meticulously style into finger waves for the first time in quite a while. “Gooood evening!”

Sir Pentious

His eyes are immediately drawn to Alastor's hair-- those finger waves look so good on him, Telly can feel his heart giving a squeeze. Oh, _oh_, he's suddenly struck with how handsome Alastor is, he needs a moment. Once his brain restarts, he cleared his throat, smiling at him.

"Good evening, Alastor!" He slithered closer and pulled him into a hug. Oh, and he smelled nice tonight too! That body wash scent is really coming through. Blelelele. Don't mind him. He pulled back, reluctantly, but kept his hands on Alastor's arms.

"Tonight is going to be fun! I've never gotten this dressed up before, I'm excited to see what all we can find for the theme!"

Alastor

Alastor didn’t even notice the pause, his brain was trying to boot back up too after seeing Telly in a layer less than usual.  By the time it was functional again, he was being hugged. Off to a great start so far!

He beamed, catching Telly’s arms in return. “So am I! It’s been years since I’ve put together a costume! I usually just recycle the ones I already have on hand, haven’t had the inspiration to put in more effort than that.” Careful, Alastor, you’re almost drifting into depressing territory. He offered his arm. “Shall we? There’s a quick jaunt through my wiggly friends’ dimension, but from there on out we should be able to walk the rest of the evening.”

Sir Pentious

He took Alastor's arm very readily, almost too readily. But he ignored that, nearly wiggling with excitement.

"I'll be sure to try and keep my face-eyes closed this time! I think that may help with the effects!" He laid his hand on the arm he was nearly clinging to, turning his smile toward Alastor. "I'm very ready to go!!"

Alastor

“Then let’s!” A quick portal and they were off.

Sir Pentious

Telly squeezed his eyes shut. No looking this time! And he clung to Alastor, nice and tight.

Alastor

Alastor took them to a pricy little steak restaurant downtown, the kind of place that served dangerous enough diners that the waiter wouldn’t *quite* immediately bolt at the sight of the Radio Demon, and that was discreet enough news wouldn’t leak out that the Radio Demon appeared to be hanging out with a new ally. It turned out to be a good choice for more than one: upscale and sophisticated meant dim, moody lighting, which meant a warm orange glow shining off snake scales and a very happily distracted Alastor.

But not so distracted he couldn’t remember what they’d come for. As they ate, he finished his prior description of the ball they’d be attending—along with being influenced by Venice’s more extravagant Mardi Gras traditions, it was also a gay ball, which in Alastor’s experience had always meant greater freedom in the variety of costumes one could choose from and how extravagant they could get. Full-face masks weren’t mandatory, but *were* extremely common in that town’s Mardi Gras celebrations, and Alastor would probably be wearing one himself to avoid terrifying other ball goers. The ball was black tie for anyone who wasn’t in costume, but those in costume were expected to look at *least* that fancy. The galleria they’d be going to should have plenty of stores with clothing that more than met the dress code.

And speaking of the galleria—about halfway through dinner Alastor cheerfully announced, “They should be closing right about now,” and continued on with his unhurried meal.

Sir Pentious

Telly had been a little nervous at first-- he hadn't been to a restaurant like this in some time. He was very glad to have worn at least stylish clothing instead of say a t-shirt or something. He tried to remember his manners, to not rush to get the food into his mouth as quickly as possible, which had become his habit over the past century.

When Alastor made his announcement, his head cocked to the side. "Closing?" He asked, as he took another bite. "Oh! Are we having a special showing after hours?"

Alastor wasn't hurried, so neither was he, even as every bit of him yelled to just eat the entire steak whole.

Alastor

... Had Telly not realized...? *Oh.* Alastor’s grin stretched even wider. “I’ve got a friend at the galleria who’s letting us in.”

Sir Pentious

"Oh! Well, I'm excited to meet any friend of yours, Alastor." He smiled and continued to eat. Soon enough, he was done, and the couple of glasses of wine he'd had with the meal made him feel warm.

Alastor

“Oh, don’t get too excited. They’re not a conversationalist.”

Once Alastor settled up their bill in his usual way—with a smile and a promised favor—he led Telly through an assortment of side streets and alleyways to the nearby glass-roofed mall, and then to a door not on the main road but on a side facing a currently-empty parking structure.

“Lovely architecture, isn’t it,” he said, although he wasn’t looking in the architecture; he was weaving through a line of shrubbery next to the driveway that divided the galleria from the parking structure. “And it’s filled with all sorts of quirky little stores! For a while they had one that sold nothing but macaroons. I don’t know if it’s still there—I rarely get to visit this place, I make people nervous... Ah!”

Alastor bent down. “Allow me to introduce you to my good friend, Brick!” He emerged from the shrubs, waving his find. “He’s a brick.” He winked at Sir Pentious, wound up, and chucked the brick through a glass door.

An alarm went off. Alastor mustered up all the authority and severity of an elderly librarian, held a finger to his lips, and hissed, “*Shhhh!*” The alarm turned off. Alastor stepped inside and started sweeping aside glass with his shoe.

Sir Pentious

He followed along after him, through the streets, and to the galleria. "Oh, macaroons, I haven't had those in--"

Telly paused at the sight of the brick, and then he just....watched as Alastor broke into the building. Oh. OH! _That_ was why Alastor had wanted to wait until they were closed. He let out a rather loud, hissing laugh, his head thrown back.

"Oh! I see now! Breaking and entering!!" He cackled as he slithered closer, leaning down to brush aside any glass in his path. He threw Alastor a smarmy, sly sort of smile. "You didn't mention crime! Oh, how fun!!"

Alastor

What a delightfully devious smirk that was! Alastor beamed and offered Telly a hand as he crossed the threshold, as if he was assisting him in stepping over the glass. Didn’t actually do anything to help, but any excuse to hold hands. “Mention it? And ruin the surprise?! Never!” He looked up and around the dark mall.

Sir Pentious

Telly gladly accepted the hand, and even twinned his fingers with Alastor's-- for support, obviously, his eyes down at the glass. Didn't want any accidentally gouging him, that would ruin their night, and that was the last thing he wanted.

"Where to first?" He asked, beaming at Alastor even as his eyes continued to keep a look out for more stray glass.

Alastor

Alastor’s heart leaped into his throat. He wasn’t going to let go of Telly’s hand for the rest of the night. (He definitely was, it was going to be hard for them to try on clothes if they didn’t let go.)

“*First,* a gift.” He rummaged around in a pocket, fished out a tiny radio, and offered it to Telly. “Keep this with you and turned on if we split up, it’ll scramble any security cameras. Plus, isn’t it cute!” It was, in fact, extremely cute. It was palm-sized and made out of a sparkly clear purple plastic that had fallen straight out of the 1990s. “And *now...* As I recall, there’s one of those trying-too-hard-to-be-quirky novelty stores near the front of the galleria. I’ll bet they’ll have interesting costume accessories up there!” He squeezed Telly’s hand. “Shall we?”

Sir Pentious

His eyes went wide at the sight of the tiny radio. He took it carefully and purred. "Oh, how darling..." He tucked it into one of the pockets on his vest, giving Alastor's hand a squeeze.

"I probably won't need it, I have to get your opinion on everything, after all!" And he also did not want to let go. This hand belonged to him now. "Yes, let's! Lead on!"

Alastor

“Oh no no no! You picked the theme, *I’m* going to have to get *your* opinion on everything!” He briefly leaned his shoulder against Telly’s. “We’ll just have to stick together!”

He raised his free hand and summoned up a floating flame in his palm to serve as a light. “Onward!” And onward they went.

Sir Pentious

And into the first store! What an odd selection. Telly's picking things up and putting them down, inspecting things, and then he spots something that makes his eyes widen. "Oh, look! Masks! We need those, don't we?" He laughed, moving closer, taking Alastor with him by the hand.

"Oh, these are very neat."

Alastor

“We certainly do!” Alastor held his flame closer to examine them. He could have looked for a light switch, but... nah. He left the flame hovering unsupervised in the air a moment as he picked up and examined several masks’ smiles.

Sir Pentious

Telly looked over the masks, his free hand stroking his chin as he pondered over them. Then his eyes fell on one that made him gasp.

"Oh, Alastor, look," He said, taking it from its place. Verdigris and with sea AND snake themed decorations, he held it up to his face. "Isn't this darling?"

Alastor

"Like a seaside statue to an ancient god! Perfect!" He rummaged around the selection a bit more. "They've got some weird stuff here, don't they!"

Sir Pentious

"They do!" He looked around for something to put the mask in. Telly very much did not want to release Alastor's hand, but it was seeming like a necessity if he wanted something to carry the spoils of their thievery. "I'm going to look for a bag to put our things in, I'll be just a moment!" He squeezed Alastor's hand before releasing and turning to slither over to where he saw some cloth sling bags.

Alastor

Aw, did they have to let each other’s hands go? Alastor would have been happy to go with Telly to grab a bag. But protesting would be weird, wouldn’t it? “All right, I’ll be here.” Utterly abandoned, *heartbroken* and *alone*—oooh, this mask was attached to a jaunty hat.

Sir Pentious

Telly picked a bag at random, slinging it around his shoulder to hand across his body, and stuffed his mask inside. He returned to Alastor's side and tilted his head. "Find something good?" He asked, staring a little down at Alastor's hand. Would it be weird if he grabbed it again? Friends held hands all the time, right? Yes, yes they did, he decided, and took Alastor's hand again, twinning their fingers like before.

Alastor

All this handholding! Alastor was going to be spoiled rotten at this rate.

“This one’s got a fancy hat on it.” He turned it slightly. “I don’t much like the mask itself, though. I don’t like those ones with a bottom half shaped like a cowcatcher.” He put the mask back. The search goes on!

Sir Pentious

Telly nodded. "Yes, you probably want one with a smile, correct? Unless you're planning on being VERY incognito, then perhaps a frown." He smirked, gesturing to one that looked just like the tragedy mask from theatre.

Alastor

The studio audience gasped, scandalized, and Alastor put a free hand over his chest. “Me? No! I’d *never*!” He started rummaging through masks again. “... Not *this* time, anyway.”

Sir Pentious

Telly laughed, looking over the masks again. He reached up high, using his tail to stretch himself up further-- a little awkward when he refused to let go of Alastor's hand again, but ce le vie-- to grab a red mask from up high. It was a jester one but perhaps they could alter it to fit the theme. "What about this?" He asked, handing it to Alastor when he settled back down.

Alastor

Oh... jester... He gave the mask a yearning look. He had an array of jester costumes already from Mardi Gras past. How he’d love to add a new one. But...

“No. Not this year, I don’t think.” Hard to fit a jester into a sea serpent theme.

Sir Pentious

He nodded, reaching up to place it back. "Perhaps we should head to another store, if the masks here aren't working? I have mine, but you need something just as suitable!" He turned his head to look around the store and then gasped. "Oh, look, over there! Netting!" He started to drag Alastor over to it.

Alastor

“I can probably dig a suitable mask out of the ones I already have.” As fun as it would be to get a new one. “We don’t have to worry about mine *too* much...”

Netting? What kind of netting? What did they need netting for—? He supposed he was about to find out. He let himself be dragged.

Sir Pentious

Telly excitedly started to pick at the netting. There were different colors and styles of it, but he dug out a spool that looked like a plain sort, and then a blue, one with large holes. "Oh, these look good-- like from a ship!"

Alastor

“... Does it?” He stared at it. He clearly hadn’t spent enough time around ships. “Like for fishing?” That was what nets were used for on ships, right? Did they get used for anything else? He didn’t know.

He leaned against Sir Pentious. “So, do you have a specific idea yet for how you’re going to pull off this ‘sea serpent’ theme of yours, or are we snatching up nautical odds and ends and seeing what we can make out of the mess of it?”

Sir Pentious

"I had a few ideas! I thought we'd be able to find a dress of some kind that could be used as a base and then just...." He gestured with the hand holding the netting, shrugging a bit. "Fancy it up? I suppose?"

Telly chuckled. "And yes, netting on ships were used for fishing, but also for rigging! Lost of ropes on a ship."

Alastor

Eye zoom. “A *dress?*” He realized, belatedly, that his overly-interested reaction might be taken the wrong way, so he hastily clarified: “I’ve always thought you’d look nice in a dress! You know—something that would flatter your figure. You have a... a good... figure, for dresses.” He realized, belatedly, that ensuring his reaction was taken the *right* way might not help him out much either. “I, er, I suppose that’s obvious, compared with the alternative—pants, that is...”

Oh look, a topic change! “Rigging! Yes, of course! Like in pirate films, where they, you know, climb all over the ship’s masts. Swashbuckling as they go.” He pantomimed swinging a sword. Apparently he thinks “to swashbuckle” is a synonym for “to sword fight.”

Sir Pentious

He couldn't help but laugh at that reaction, and the explination after, his smile and eyes just oozing a fondness that made his heart feel fit to burst.

"I didn't think wearing just a suit jacket would make a very good costume! And dresses look much better on me nowadays, it's true! Especially with all this--" He gestured to his tail. "But I don't often have a chance to wear them! Most of my dresses and skirts are too flowy to wear around the airship or while doing work-- plus they'd get dirty and grimy and I spent good money on them."

His face scrunched momentarily, before relaxing back into a smile. "I want to look spectacular! I want to stand out and catch attention! Having a lovely dress would help with that."

Alastor

Whew, good, Alastor got a laugh—and a *very* fond smile, wow. He was probably imagining some of that fondness, wasn’t he? That wasn’t real.

“Oh, you’ve—got more?” It would *definitely* be weird to ask to see Telly in his other dresses. “Well! Shouldn’t be surprised! Suits you!”

Wasn’t that exactly what Sir Pentious deserved? To be *spectacular*. To be the center of everyone’s adoring attention. “Unfortunately, at the ball we’re going to, no one stands out unless they’ve got a twelve-foot-tall flamethrower-wielding Ferris wheel strapped to their back. But we’ve got a whole year to plan for the next one! And we can *certainly* make sure that anyone who does look at you won’t want to look away!”

Sir Pentious

"Yes! A few. A couple in the style of my time, and a few more modern ones-- those ones flow better, but for the Victorian ones, I have a built in bustle!" He laughed. Telly lifted the hand still playing with the netting, and he pulled his glove off with his teeth, using his now bare hand to feel the netting again-- testing the texture. He wanted to be sure it would feel alright and didn't set off any alarm bells in his head. Satisfied, he took the glove from his mouth-- and then the decision whether to stop holding Alastor's hand to put his glove back on, or keep holding his hand. Hand holding won out, and he just stuffed the glove into the pocket on his vest.

"Oh, I know-- I looked up some pictures! Some of those costumes are insanely complicated! We certainly would need more than a week to do something like that, but we are Sir Pentious and Alastor the Radio Demon, I'm sure we can come up with something that's at least eyecatching!" He laughed, shrugging.

Alastor

For a few seconds, Alastor's attention was entirely seized by Sir Pentious's newly-exposed hand. He had an overpowering urge to hold it/rub his face on it/lovingly bite it. And yet he doesn't. Hell will appreciate how truly astounding Alastor's self-control is.

*Sir Pentious and Alastor the Radio Demon,* their names sound so *good* together. "I'm sure we can!" He beamed at Telly. "You know, I'm probably not going to be much help at finding a suitable dress—some people can just look at a gown and *know* how it's going to look on the person it's for, I've never had the talent—so maybe we should divvy up this scavenger hunt? I can find all the nautical odds and ends you could ask for, and you can focus on finding that perfect dress."

As much as he would love to keep holding Sir Pentious's hand all night, it would significantly hamper their odds of finding everything they needed—and he needed to get away from the temptation to put his fangs and/or lips somewhere he shouldn't.

Sir Pentious

"You're correct-- I would know what styles fit better on me! But I don't know this place very well. Never been. Where would one go to find a good, fancy dress?" He handed the netting off to Alastor, unaware just how close that got his bare hand to the deermon's face.

Telly slithered towards the doors of the boutique, glancing out and then up down and all around. "Do you know where the dress shops are? Don't they usually have maps in these places?"

Alastor

Alastor's aware. He leans just a little closer, then straightens up. "It might be a bit obvious, but if it was me, I'd slither around until I found a store with fancy dresses in the window and smash the glass in!" A laugh. "I know they have fine dresses, but I've never had cause to go dress shopping here! I usually go for the fancy foods or the mortal imports. But yes, there should be maps—we probably passed them in the dark. Shall I retrieve one?"

Sir Pentious

"Oh no, I like your idea better!" He laughed again. "Haha! _Crime._"

He slithered out the doorway of the boutique, still holding Alastor's hand. He turned and absentmindedly lifted it to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it, before letting go. "I will find the dress! You find other nautical bits and baubles, and your costume things of course! Oh, and if you see any pearls, grab them!"

He was a good distance away when he realized what he'd done, and froze. His brain rewound and played the moment again, as he stared wide eyed at nothing, tongue stuck out. Annnd then he started slithering faster down the hall-- maybe Alastor didn't notice? Or hopefully at least didn't mind. _You are an IMBECILE, Pentell Tinely. Truly, a complete moron_ He berated himself as he went ahunting for dress shop.

Alastor

He got so *gleeful* over a bit of burglary. If Alastor didn't know better, he would have expected Mr. Airships And Lasers would be long past such minor, petty evil. But no, he was still as delighted by them as if he was committing his very first misdemeanor. It was so refreshing, so exhilarating—

His mental train derailed, tumbled off a bridge, and crashed in the canyon below. He stared after Sir Pentious as he slithered away, Alastor's hand still suspended midair where it had been left. Had he really—? He *had,* hadn't he? What did he mean by it? Nothing, surely. Just a friendly gesture. But what if... No. no. *But what if...*

He put his untouched hand over his heart; he was sure he'd felt it thud, just once. Probably his imagination. He leaned against the doorframe, raised his hand, and pressed his lips to the glove where Sir Pentious had left his kiss.

Give him a couple of minutes. He'll be fine in a few minutes.

Sir Pentious

Telly is slithering. Oh lord is he slithering. He finds a shop and looks around for something to toss through the window. His eyes landed on a nearby chair and he grabbed it, tossing it with all his might. The crashing of it was offset by the alarm, which he silenced with the little radio Alastor had give him. Now it was time to find a proper dress.

Alastor

The sound of a crash in the dark startled Alastor out of his reverie. Right—they were here on a mission. And like hell was he going to leave one stone unturned or one store undamaged in his quest to make sure Telly had the *exact* costume he wanted. He strode out of the store and set exuberantly to his task, like a knight inspired to new valor by a favor from his lady—if “valor” could cover acts like “smashing every case in a jewelry store and gleefully rummaging through the rubble.” Really, if you thought about it, it was less violent than jousting.

By the time Alastor crossed paths with Sir Pentious on a second floor walkway, he was master of his emotions again—haha just kidding, when he spotted Telly he immediately started playing a love song and had to frantically shut it off.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hclK-UKJNgk

“Telly!” He practically bounded over the walkway, momentarily looking less like a mere dancer and more like a full-blown deer. “There you are! I’ve got a magic trick for you, want to see?”

Sir Pentious

He'd found a couple of good dresses, and taken them all-- along with a few others that had caught his eye. Another bag was around his body now, holding his spoils as he'd been getting ready to smash another shop window. But upon hearing his name his head swiveled and he beamed at Alastor's bounding gait.

"Yes! Of course! Show me!" He set down the chair he'd raised, waiting for the trick.

Alastor

“All righty, here we go!” He summoned up another floating flame to illuminate his impromptu stage, pulled a bright yellow handkerchief out of one pocket that he’d picked up expressly for this purpose—“Now, observe, seemingly a perfectly normal handkerchief”—and stuffed it up one coat sleeve so that only the tip stuck out. And then pulled it out, where it was now tied to a red handkerchief, which was tied to a blue handkerchief, which was tied to a string of pearls, and pearls, and pearls, and pearls, and pearls, and pearls...

Sir Pentious

With each pearl, his eyes seemed to get wider, and his jaw more slack. God, if he could jump up and down in joy he would-- but doing a little bouncing accordian dance would have to do. "Oh!! Look at all of them! And those colors! They'll be perfect!"

He slithered closer and started looking over them, inspecting-- and one would notice that he was now missing both gloves. He rubbed his thumb over the smooth surfaces of the pearls and purred happily.

"These are gorgeous...." He beamed at Alastor, and then rushed forward, pulling him into a hug. "You always know just where to find the best stuff!"

Telly pulled back and pulled out the two dresses, showing them to Alastor. "I found a couple good ones! I like the way they look like waves, and they sparkle!"

Alastor

“Are the colors good? Most of them aren’t the traditional white, I was worried they wouldn’t meet your standards! After all, you deserve only the best!”

He watched, entranced, as Telly ran his naked hands over the pearls. Oh, what Alastor wouldn’t give to get one of Telly’s fingers between his pearly whites... (... Pearly yellows?)

Before he had time to ruminate too much on that frankly alarming fantasy, Telly was pulling him into a hug and Alastor’s brain had to reboot. What were they—Right! Clothes. He inspected Sir Pentious’s finds, holding up one of the skirts by the hem and gently shaking it to see how the fabric rippled. The fluttering hem curled and curved like the crest of a wave. “*Very* nice.”

Sir Pentious

"Natural pearls are much better than the generic white! They have so much more character and charm! I used to have a few broaches and rings with them when I was alive-- they were _exquisite_." He sighed dreamily, before snapping back.

"Yes! Aren't they lovely? I grabbed a couple more of the same to be used to modify either one. I was thinking it could be shorter in the front and longer in the back to go over my tail, but make it so I won't be slithering on material all night." His face scrunched. "It's most uncomfortable when that happens."

He stuffed the dresses back in his back and leaned in eagerly. "What did you find for your costume?"

Alastor

Alastor laughed at the thought of Sir Pentious slithering on his own skirt. “Like tripping over the cuff of your own pants, I suppose.” He lifted one foot to hook a finger demonstratively into the folded-up cuff of his pants leg. The too-long pants had been folded up for so long that the crease had practically fused in place, making it look like the pants came like that unless one took long enough to stare and realize that the pants’ inner seams were visible on the lighter-colored bit folded up.

“Oh! Right. Mine.” Almost sheepishly, he opened a bag he’d slung over one shoulder, took out a hat box, removed a snazzy looking navy blue tricorn, and plopped it on his head. How dashing. “I got a little sidetracked looking for nautical things. But I found this in a home goods store!” He fished a couple of porcelain sea shells painted in faux verdigris out of the bottom of his bag. “I think they’re supposed to be soap dishes.”

Sir Pentious

He was right, it was very dashing, at least Telly thought so. And then the dishes caught his eye and he let out a little 'Ooo'.

"Oh! I know what you could use those for!" He took them from Alastor's hands and held them up, one on each side of Alastor's shoulders. "Pauldrons!" He gave a hissing giggle and then set the shells back into Alastor's hands. With his bare hands. Oh, he's noticed that now.

"Ah, well, since we've found quite a bit for me, would you like me to go with you to find more for yours? I think I saw a high end suit shop down that ways a bit." He gestured over his shoulder.

Alastor

"Now there's a thought! I was going to slap one on the back of Mic, but I like yours better." How were they going to turn a couple of porcelain soap dishes into pauldrons? He had no idea. Maybe Rosie would, Rosie was good at Crafts.

Alastor glanced in the direction Sir Pentious had gestured. "Sure! Not one of those places that has ninety-seven black suits and three gray suits, I hope? Not that your traditional black tie is bad, of course—I just hate to be another identical tux in a room full of 'em!" He offered an elbow to Sir Pentious.

Sir Pentious

"Oh no, I saw some right colorful ones, don't you worry!" Telly laughed, taking Alastor's arm with his bare hand-- and oh just how much more intimate that felt,  he was so used to wearing gloves all the time. Though it certainly wasn't the first time he'd touched Alastor with his bare hands...there was the beach and all. But that was different, they'd both been dressed down. Now, he could feel the texture of Alastor's coat, and he couldn't help the way his thumb rubbed against it-- it was a good texture.

"I think I saw some more _my_ era suits in there too, so that might be double worth checking!"

Alastor

Alastor's entire sensory experience has been narrowed down to the thumb rubbing his arm. Please hold while he tries not to trip over his own feet.

"Oh! The fancy stuff!" His eyes brightened. "Good! I hate those stores that only cater to *modern* fashion trends. Some of us died more than a decade ago, you know!"

Sir Pentious

"Yes! This is usually why I go to a tailor-- they at least will make things in my preferred style!" His thumb keeps that stroking-- he really likes the way Alastor's coat feels-- and stops in front of the shop.

"Here it is!" Annnd he's letting go to pick up another chair and chuck it through the window.

Alastor

"Oh, do you have a regular tailor? What's their name?" He wonders if both of the Sir Pentiouses he currently knows go to the same tailor.

Alastor doesn't even flinch when the chair goes through the window. What poise.

Sir Pentious

He looks a little embarrassed at that question, giving a shake of his head. "Not really, no. I used to see one that also dresses the princes and dukes and such, but since I fell out of favor..."

He sighed and shrugged. "Luckily, I can mend my own clothing fairly well. Enough to keep things together at least."

Alastor

Alastor’s brows go up at this report of a tailor to royalty and nobility... and go back down when Sir Pentious mentions the falling out. “You deserve better than *that!*” Granted, Alastor mended *his* own clothes—but Alastor wasn’t an aspiring dictator. And also didn’t deserve nice things.

Sir Pentious

Telly began to clear a path for himself through the glass, brushing it aside to make sure he didn't slither over any of it. He avoided looking at Alastor, and sighed a bit.

"Perhaps, but tailors also cost money-- most of the time. I can't afford something like that right now." He straightened when he was done and slithered into the store, a smirk appearing his lips. "But _this_ doesn't cost money!" He snatched the nearest suit jacket off a manikin and put it on. It was baby blue and too large, but Telly batted his lashes as he posed. "How does it look?" He is so near to cracking up he's shaking trying to hold back the laughter.

Alastor

A crooked smile stretched across Alastor’s face. “It certainly fits the ‘sea serpent’ theme—because you look like you’re swimming in that jacket!” Studio laughter. He pulled on the first jacket he saw that looked big enough to fit on top of the coat he was already wearing. “What about me?” It’s a garish orange that doesn’t flatter *any* of the shades of red he’s wearing.

Sir Pentious

Telly couldn't help the burst of laughter-- oh that looked _terrible!_

"You look like a traffic light and a traffic cone had a child!" His head threw back and he cackled out, his shoulders shaking. He gulped down some air, ditching the coat he wore to pull on another-- this one purple and sequined.

"What about this, Alastor? Flattering, no?"

Alastor

“An enthralling love story if ever I’ve heard one!” He laughed along with Telly. “I suppose they met at work! While they were both *on the road,* no doubt!”

His laughter petered out as he considered Telly in the coat. “Well, now! The color looks nice on you.” He surveyed it a moment longer; then snorted. “*Sequins,* though. You look like you’re headed to a disco.”

Sir Pentious

Telly laughed, before taking off the jacket and chucking it. He slithered further in and started inspecting the manikins.

"Oh look! That one's a fop!" He said, pointing at one dressed in early 1800s fashion. He tilted his head at it and then burst out laughing. "Oh god, I swear there was a painting back home of my father in this exact outfit! He looked ridiculous!!" Wheeze.

Alastor

“Oh, is *that* the sort of people who shop here.” Alastor sniffed snootily. “Well! Who wants to be associated with *that sort* of people? I wouldn’t want to shop at the same stores as them.” A pause. “But I wouldn’t mind stealing from the same stores at them.” He seized the coat off the mannequin and pulled it on—without removing the traffic cone jacket first. “How do I look—stuffy? I *feel* stuffy.” Probably because he has three coats on.

Sir Pentious

Telly watched Alastor put on the jacket and burst out laughing again-- he was doing that a lot right now!

"Oh yes, very stuffy! Puff out your chest a little more and you'd be a spitting image!" He snorted, and reached to tug the two sides of the coat closer together, doing up one button. "Never knew you were so aristocratic, Alastor! Whyever did you never tell me?" He winked, overexaggerating the motion.

Alastor

He puffed up his chest and turned up his nose, his smile drifting closer to a smarmy smirk. “Oh, there might be a bit of that somewhere in the family tree, but we don’t discuss *that* side of the family, heavens no. We don’t keep company with those sorts. *Aristocrats!*” He scoffed.

Then looked down at the coat. “Really, how do I look in this—1800-ish, do you think? It’s closer to your time, you’d know. That’s when about half of the stage show is taking place.” He looked around for a mirror.

Sir Pentious

"Oh, yes, your musical! Hamilton! Hmm, this would probably be too late for that, it takes place during the Revolution, doesn't it? This is more..." He tapped his chin, considering. "More 1830s, I believe."

Telly glanced around and let out a little 'ah-ha!' as he slithered towards another manikin. "This one is more appropriate! Late 1700s, to early 1800s."

Alastor

“The first act takes place during the revolution. The second act takes place... 1790s to early 1800s, I think.” He shrugged, “Jefferson missed the late 80s and the election of 1800 is covered, that’s all I remember about the second act’s chronology!” He wasn’t a history buff.

“Perfect!” He unbuttoned all his coats and jackets and shucked off three layers at once, pulled on the coat, struck another puffed-chested pose, and asked, “How insufferable do I look? Do I look like the kind of man who would boast about his nation being free over a backing choir of his own slaves? That’s the level of insufferable we’re looking for, here.”

Sir Pentious

Telly tilted his head, his eyes narrowing as he looked at Alastor with a critical air. He stroked his chin and hummed. "Hm, almost....Something's missing though."

He glanced back at the manikin and then at Alastor, back and forth, and then he snapped his fingers. "Ah! I know what it is." He snatched the cravat off the manikin and tied it around Alastor's neck-- and just over his bowtie. He tucked it down in the front of the jacket and then nodded. "There! Can't be insufferable without a cravat!"

Alastor

“I already feel like the kind of person whose foot I’d step on if I saw me at a fancy party.” He rescued his own coat out of the discarded pile on the floor and bounded deeper into the store. “Where are the mirrors in this place? I want to see the full effect—“

He skidded to a stop. “Oh, *hello.* Does this look piratical to you?” He’d passed a long, deep sea green coat with large cuffs a multitude of metal buttons. To Alastor’s eye, it certainly looked like something the seafaring sort would wear, but his knowledge came from movies.

Sir Pentious

He slithered after Alastor as fast as he could, laughing. "Mirrors are probably near the fitting rooms, if they have those--"

Telly stopped short right when Alastor did-- but not soon enough not to knock into him. His arms went around him automatically to make sure he didn't fall as his eyes locked onto the coat.

"Oh...Oh that's beautiful. You'd look so dashing in that, I can see it now!" He reached up to grab the coat, this time being a lot more careful with the garment. "Like a real pirate, right out of the stories!"

Alastor

His arm went around Sir Pentious to keep him stable, so naturally he hardly even thought about the movement.

“Well, forget *this!*” He let go of Telly so he could toss his douchebag aristocrat coat to the ground, carelessly kicked it aside—the theater crew was probably going to supply their costumes anyway—and pulled on the pirate coat. “Oh, now that’s quality fabric! You’re not finding *this* in your run-of-the-mill costume store.”

Sir Pentious

Telly dug into Alastor's bag, getting out the tricorn and playing it on his head. He circled him and did up the buttons and fixed the cravat. He was laser focused on the task at hand, pulling out a couple strings of the pearls from Alastor's bag as well, draping them around his shoulders. He hummed and hawed as he worked, his entire world narrowed down to _this_.

"Oh, yes, stunning-- won't even need those shells for pauldrons with a coat like this..." He looked around, searching. "Gloves, gloves...." He dash-slithered toward another display, snatching gloves in a pale tan leather and then some darker brown ones. He spotted some boots as well, and grabbed two pairs in colors that matched the gloves.

"Here, try these. I want to see which looks better, the dark or light." He offered the spoils to Alastor, eyes wide, nearly vibrating with Purpose.

Alastor

Alastor stood still as Telly decorated him, only slightly turning his head to try to see the adjustments. “Tan with green?” he asked dubiously, eyeing the gloves. “Do you think they’ll match the color scheme we’ve got here?” Says the man whose only conception of color matching is “everything’s a slightly different shade of the same color.”

All the same, he pulled off his clawed black gloves and reached to take the paler gloves first—and brushed Telly’s bare fingers with his own.

Sir Pentious

They'd touched before, hand to hand, but there was something different about it this time. That brief touch, the darkened store, made it feel like a shock to his system. Telly's breath caught momentarily, and he swallowed, averting his eyes. Good lord, he felt as twitter-patted as the first time he touched-- No, no, he wasn't going to think about _him_. That man would not ruin this feeling for him.

"Th-the lighter color of the tan will pop against the green, and will look very good, but the darker brown is subtler and won't draw the eye away from the coat as much." The words spilled out of his mouth, the only thing he could think to say that didn't involve passionate confessions of feelings.

Alastor

There was a blurt of music, that same love song from earlier, only a couple of notes before Alastor violently shut it off. He swore he could still feel playing inside him, rumbling in his rib cage. He couldn’t breathe.

What Alastor wanted to say was “Can I marry you?” What Alastor actually said was “Probably the dark brown. I think the coat should be the focus.” He reached to take the other pair of gloves—careful not to touch Sir Pentious’s fingers as he did. His hands trembled.

Sir Pentious

His hood did a half floop at the sudden burst of music-- but settled down the instant after it shut off. He could swear his heart was hammering loud enough for Alastor to hear, and he tired to still his shaking hands as he offered the other pair.

"Yes, I think it should too-- you'll look very handsome in it-- I mean, you _do_ look handsome in it now, but you'll look even better once we're both in costume! It will go well with mine." He blinked and tilted his head. "I wonder how long it would take to make a fan to go with my outfit..."

Alastor

"Well, once it's all on, I won't look like *me* at all, will I—I'm just the lucky mannequin displaying it. So, as long as the costume itself is handsome." Watch him dodge around having to acknowledge a perception of him as handsome and therefore a being with a visible form that people can have opinions on. He hastily pulled on the gloves. He muttered to himself, "Uh—mirrors," and headed to the back on his original search again, where he finally found a full length mirror.

He summoned up several floating flames to illuminate himself clearly in the mirror. (If Telly cared to catch up and look too, he'd find that Alastor's face in the mirror was concealed under static distortion.)

Adjusting the cravat, he almost absently said, "Don't know much about fan construction, I'm afraid."

Sir Pentious

He did care to catch up! And he stood behind Alastor as he inspected himself, his head tilting. That was an odd thing to see in a mirror.

"I thought that only happened in pictures or videos of you?" He asked gesturing to the distortion over his face in the mirror. Telly also took this time to adjust his bowtie and dust off his vest. And roll up his sleeves a touch-- if he was going gloveless, might as well add a little forearm, that looked nice.

"Oh not to worry, I'll figure it out."

Alastor

The distortion vanishes almost as soon as Telly mentions it. "I wanted to see how the costume looks without my face getting in the way, since I'll be wearing a mask in the completed thing."

Sir Pentious

"Ah! Yes that makes sense." He nodded, putting his hands on Alastor's shoulders. He idly brushed them off and adjusted the coat a little.

"I think this is perfect-- might need some alterations, but both our costumes will need those!" He chuckled.

Alastor

"I'll need pants. And shoes for hooves." He stood still as Telly made his adjustments. "But that shouldn't be too hard to find."

Sir Pentious

"A simple pant wouldn't be too hard to whip up for a seamstress or a tailor, but maybe we can find ones that match the coat here?" His hands settled there on Alastor's shoulders, and he stared at him in the mirror.

"You strike quite the figure in this already, it'll look magnificent once it's properly adjusted."

Alastor

“... *Right,* I will have to get it tailored, won’t I.” Can you tell he hasn’t gotten new clothes in a while. “Where did I grab this? Maybe it had matching pants hanging nearby.” He *would* have started walking that way already... except he didn’t want to escape from under Sir Pentious’s hands.

Sir Pentious

"Well, let's go look and see!" He patted his shoulders once, before slithering around and offering his hand. "Come on then."

Alastor

Hand-holding it was. These new gloves were thicker than Alastor’s usual pair. Pity.

There were, indeed, matching pants near the coat. He looked for a pair that he *thought* was in his measurements—he hadn’t needed to remember them in... hm... a while; and then he got a couple more in the sizes up and down from his own, just in case he was wrong, and anyway maybe he could make some use from the matching fabric. He’d rather deal with the spare pairs than find a dressing room while Sir Pentious had to wait around for him.

“Well, I think *that* should do me just fine!” He stuffed all the pants in his bag, then grinned at Telly. “What do you think? Mission accomplished?”

Sir Pentious

The leather of the gloves felt nice in his hand, and his thumb was once again rubbing. The pants were easy enough to find, and when asked, Telly went over a mental checklist.

"I think all you'd need are boots, or shoes now, but I think that's probably a job for a specialist with the hooves and all! So, yes! I think we are! Did you want to come back to the airship and see the other spoils I got?" His eyes were eager-- it was clear he didn't want to part ways with Alastor just yet.

Alastor

“I’ll visit Clove & Fawn sometime this week, I get all my shoes from them.”

Oh, coming back to the airship sounded *wonderful.* They could get started on properly assembling their costumes—which would probably involve less in the way of actual costume assembly and more in the way of friendly banter and attempts to make each other laugh. And this late, if he came over to the airship, it would be entirely unreasonable *not* to expect an invitation to spend the rest of the night...

“Oh, I shouldn’t,” he demurred. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m sorely tempted! But I’m going to have to get an early start tomorrow, going out for shoes, begging Rosie for tailoring help, maybe running some errands for her in payment...” He sighed deeply. “No rest for the wicked, I’m afraid.”

He didn’t have a good track record with spending the night on airships.

Sir Pentious

His face did fall a bit but he tried his best to hide most of it-- stiff upper lip, like his father would always say. He put on a smile, squeezing Alastor's hand. "All right, that's fine! I need to start on that fan, anyway. You can just drop me off then-- Should you take the dresses for my costume or should I keep those? To take to Rosie and all..."

Alastor

Alastor caught that slight shift in Telly’s expression before he covered it up; Alastor glanced away. He hoped that Telly believed Alastor really would have if he could have; his excuse for declining had been a lie, yes, but he certainly hadn’t lied about being tempted.

“You keep them—Rosie’s not going to be able to do much with them without you there to take measurements from! In fact, perhaps I ought to just take you along with me tomorrow so she can get both our measurements at once, don’t you think? Save us from making multiple trips?”

Sir Pentious

His expression brightened again at the proposal for the next meet up. He nodded eagerly, grinning at Alastor. "Oh, yes, I'd love to! It would definitely save time, and we need all the time we can get to get these costumes together! Sounds like a good plan to me!" Was he being too eager? Maybe, but he didn't care. He'd get to see Alastor again, and so soon-- that's all that mattered to him at that moment.

Alastor

“Wonderful!” And he’d made up for declining Telly’s invitation, he hoped. “Then I’ll contact you when I’m up, or you’ll contact me when you are—whichever, we’ll coordinate then.”

Sir Pentious

"Yes, sounds good!" He moved closer, twining his arm through and around Alastor's. "Let's head back then! I want to get started on that fan."

Alastor

Alastor reached across to take Telly’s free hand—he was just offering extra support, making sure Telly was secure for the journey, that was all. “Hold on tight!”

And out they went, leaving behind a royal mess for somebody else to deal with.

#usedhearts #chat log

[lindafrancois]

A Beginner’s Guide to Hiking: Everything You Need For Your First Hike!

Before you step foot in the great outdoors, read this guide!

There’s nothing more embarrassing than a city slicker getting lost in the woods, so let’s make sure you know where you’re going, what to wear, and what to bring.

That way your first hike will be fun, adventurous, and more importantly safe!

Today will cover:

How Do I Find Hiking Trails Near Me? (How to Start Hiking)

What Shoes Do I Wear Hiking? (Proper Footwear)

What Do I Wear While Hiking? (Clothing)

How Much Water Should I Bring on My Hike?

What Gear Should I Bring on My Hike? (Sunscreen, Knives, and First Aid Kits)

What Food Should I Bring Hiking? What Should I Eat on a Day Hike?

7 Hiking Tips for Beginners.

I’m happy you’re excited about hiking and I can’t wait for you to get started!

I took the above picture while hiking through Killarney National Park in Ireland many years ago, and every time I look at it, I couldn’t help but think of Tolkien’s Middle-earth masterpiece, so I apologize (not really) for all of the Lord of the Rings nerdery running throughout this post!

Our community members love hiking too. In fact, one of our recent success stories specifically cited hiking as one of the fun activities she loved to do to help her lose 50 pounds:

By the end of today’s post, my goal is to have you pick a trail, pick a date, and identify a fella or gal to join your fellowship (galship?).

Before we jump in, are you here because you’re learning to hike to lose weight? Did you hear it’s a fun way to exercise and get your body moving?

If so, you’ve come to the right place!

As I mentioned, some clients in our uber-popular 1-on-1 Online Coaching Program used hiking as part of their weight loss training. These folks would rather head outside than jump on a treadmill, and our coaches designed a program so they could do just that!

Here’s how it works: your NF Coach will build a custom workout plan based on your experience level and goals. Training to climb up a literal mountain? Maybe you need to get rid of an old ring? We’ll create a plan to get you to the top!

Alright, let’s get you hiking!

How Do I Find Hiking Trails Near Me? (How to Start Hiking)

When you think of hiking, you might imagine a bunch of road-tested perma-travelers with oversized backpacks, hiking through epic mountains for weeks upon weeks at a time. 

Or maybe, a pair of hobbits setting out on a worldwide adventure to destroy a ring of awe-inspiring power.

If you’re just beginning your journey to a better lifestyle, just thinking about serious hiking can be enough to keep you inside your comfy hobbit hole.

Although hiking can an epic undertaking, it doesn’t need to be!

A hike also be super simple and fun:

A quick jaunt (such a great word, right?) around your local park after work.

Exploring the woods behind your house with your kids on a saturday morning.

A half-day hike with your friends on a fun nature trail.

A full day or overnight hike that also includes camping.

Here’s my definition for hiking: A person (or halfing, or self-aware robot) exploring their surroundings and their feet are on the actual ground. Like, dirt. And grass.

Some might say it needs to be difficult, have a certain elevation change, require a blah blah blah. It literally doesn’t matter.

What matters is that you go outside and do something you wouldn’t have done otherwise.

Here in the Nerd Fitness Rebellion, hikers would fall into the Adventurer class.

If you’re looking for a fun “cardio” activity and want to exercise in a way that’s exciting, hiking is a great way to get your legs, feet, and body used to strenuous activity.

You get to pick your speed and difficulty, you can always find a way the right amount of challenge for you.

HIKING 101: 5 STEPS TO PLAN OUT YOUR ADVENTURE

1) Decide how long you have to hike.  This is a beginner’s guide to hiking, we’re not looking to hike the Appalachian Trail. Instead, we want to start with  trails that can be done in less than a day, that won’t require you to pack a tent, or bring extra change of clothes.  Pick a hike based on how much time you have – do you have the entire Sunday? Or do you just have a few hours on a Tuesday afternoon? It took Frodo and Sam 6 months to get to Mordor, but you probably don’t have that much time.

However, if you DID want to “walk to Mordor,” I got you covered there too. You’re welcome!

2) Decide if you’ll be hiking solo or with a friend/group – I love hiking solo – it’s mobile meditation for me.  However, it’s also more dangerous should anything happen while you’re out on the trail! If you’re heading into the wilderness, I’d recommend buddying up with a friend or your significant other for your hike. It’s the perfect bonding opportunity. This is especially true if they have more hiking experience or they know the area that you’re hiking in.

3) Determine your level – if you are a hiking newbie and horribly out of shape, sending yourself out on an eight hour hike through the unmapped wilderness is incredibly unintelligent. And as your mom has probably told you before, “I thought you were smarter than that.”

Start slow, and pick places around your town that will allow you to stop when necessary and get back to your car or home quickly. No need to be a hero; it’s always better to come back excited and say “wow that was easier than I expected!” than to realize you’re six hours from home and out of steam. Well, being a hero is cool. But not THAT kind of hero.

4) Pick your hiking location – Keep it simple! Go to AllTrails.com, put in your zip code, find your hiking trail!

Or pull up Google Maps and look for big green plots of land. We call those “parks.” Google the park name, learn about it, and decide if that’s where you want to go. Do not over complicate this step. Just get started.

Ask your active, adventurous friends or coworkers if they know any good spots.

The world is FULL of hiking trails and awesomeness – you just need to know where to look.

5) Regardless of where you are going, let somebody else know where are when – if you are out hiking alone, take the time to email or call somebody and let him know that you’ll be hiking and when you expect to be back.

We don’t want to hear about any 127 Hours[1] stories on NF…that would make playing video games way more difficult.

You don’t need to tell them the brand of your underwear (please tell me you’re wearing underwear) or how many almonds you’re bringing, but let them know the important details so if they don’t hear back from you by a certain time they know to alert the proper authorities.

So right now, you should have answers to the following questions:

How much time you can dedicate to hiking.

Who you will be hiking with.

Your level of experience

Using AllTrails.com or GoogleMaps to pick your hiking location.

Who you will tell about your hiking experience.

What Shoes Do I Wear Hiking? (Proper Footwear)

This is simple: stilettos, your favorite mini skirt, a fishnet halter top, and a vest made out of raw meat. You’re welcome!

Wait, don’t do that.

I’m a big fan of being comfortable without breaking the bank. Like, you probably already have most of the clothing you need to go hiking.

WHAT SHOES SHOULD I WEAR TO HIKE IN?

We cover footwear extensively in our healthy feet article, but I’ll cover shoes specifically in the case of hiking here, but we at Nerd Fitness are huge fan of Merrell products – Merrell shoes of various types have treated me well for the past decade.

Just don’t a lack of quality hiking boots keep you from a hike. If you’re concerned, pick an easy paced hike with your current shoes to be safe and ramp up when you can ramp up your gear!

Some people hike the Appalachian Trail in their bare feet (must be part-Hobbit), so whatever you do: don’t let your footwear choice keep you from getting started. Just make sure you break your shoes in and take them on test drives! Don’t take the tags off a new pair of shoes and then go on a multi-day hike – that’s a recipe for blisters and a miserable time.

Okay, let’s look at our feet. 

Now that we’ve done that, let’s look at some shoe options:

LEVEL ONE: Hiking shoes – “hiking shoes” are great if you’re going to be doing simple day hikes or hiking occasionally: they have good grip on the bottom, give you enough support, but aren’t too heavy that they are a hindrance.

Here are my favorite options if you in the market for some new basic walking/hiking shoes:

Merrell Vent Hiking Shoe

Merrell Trail Glove 4 (Men) – I have the blue ones. They rock.

Merrell Trail Glove 4 (women)

Oh, what’s that? “Steve, I don’t have hiking shoes! Is this the end of the world?”

Well, do you have any sort of athletic shoe? Depending on the grip on the bottom, they could be decently okay for you to get started with when it comes to a basic hike. If sneakers are your only option, lace em up, pick a beginner hike, and see how they do. Just be careful on slippery surfaces – your kicks might not give you the grip won’t give you the grip you need to get over them.

LEVEL TWO – Hiking boots – I don’t hike enough or do enough multi-day hikes to justify the cost of hiking boots, but again I would point to Merrell boots if you’re in the market.

“Why boots over shoes, Steve?” 

Although many prefer trail shoes (like yours truly), I can absolutely see the value in a great pair of hiking boots if you’re going on a serious hike, traveling for multiple days, or more. They have more ankle support, thicker tread, thicker shoes, and provide your feet with significantly more protection.

REI has a great article helping you pick between Trail shoes and Trail boots. My advice? Start with what you currently have before deciding whether or not to invest in big boots. Once you build up the habit of hiking and decide you want to make it a bigger part of your life, you can make the investment.

My advice? If you are going to buy boots, go to a professional store, get fitted properly, and then break them in over many weeks before going out on a trail.

WEIRD BUT FUN FOR SIMPLE HIKES: Vibram FiveFingers – I hiked all around the globe, in various situations, wearing my Vibrams for close to 4 years. They made me feel like a ninja monkey, and a hobbit. I got weird looks, but something just felt right about being able to feel the contours of the ground beneath me. I will say, when hiking in Vibrams it can be easier to twist an ankle when stepping on a root or rock, stepping on sharp rocks can hurt, so I found myself watching my feet much more than expected.

These days, I’m much more of a trail shoe kind of guy, but some still swear by Vibrams!

If you’re in the market for buying new boots, this quick video is a good primer:

WHAT SOCKS SHOULD YOU WEAR?

If you’re wearing boots or sneakers, you want to wear socks that aren’t going to give you blisters or make your feet all sweaty and gross.

Depending on how long the hike is, how serious you are about hiking, and your budget, you can look into merino-wool socks.

Like the rest of your outfit, what you wear on your feet will largely be dependent on a few things:

Weather! Are you hiking in the forest and it’s 72 degrees out? Or are you hiking up the side of the mountain in cold conditions?

Shoes! Are you in lightweight hiking shoes, lightweight hiking socks for the win. Hiking in big boots in cold months? Big thick warm socks are almost a requirement.

Budget! Are you shopping for specific socks? Tall or short? Great. If you are brand new to hiking, just wear whatever athletic socks you wear while exercising.

What’s the environment? If you’re hiking through grass, tall plants, etc. I’d go with tall socks (with your pants possibly tucked into them too). You’re not out there to win a fashion show!

Here’s Switchback Travel’s best hiking socks of 2018, and here’s a great article from Art of Manliness on proper feet care after a hike or ruck! 

What Do I Wear While Hiking? (Clothing)

SHOULD I WEAR PANTS OR SHORTS?

Pro tip: Don’t go pantless through the wilderness. I cannot stress this enough.

The real advice when it comes to pants/shorts is heavily dependent upon your environment. If it’s going to be cold, shorts might keep you shivering. If it’s going to be hot, pants might get too uncomfortable.

Jeans? Ehhhhh. Sure. ONLY if it’s going to be a comfortable temperature and you have no other option. Being sweaty and hot while wearing jeans isn’t very fun.

I’m a big fan of my nerd pants – the Columbia Silver Ridge pants. Although they look kind of goofy, they’re incredibly light weight, dry quickly, and can transform from pants to shorts in mere seconds!

Traveling through woods, not sure what you’ll encounter? Wear lightweight pants. I am horribly allergic to poison ivy and who knows what else, so I like to keep as much of my body covered while hiking to make sure I don’t make contact with anything I’m allergic to. [2]

WHAT TYPE OF SHIRT SHOULD I WEAR? 

My favorite options are merino wool long shirts and t-shirts: they’re light, wick away moisture, hide odors, and breathe well – though you will be paying top dollar for them.

If you’re just starting out, pick an old t-shirt and rock that – you can work on optimizing performance once you’ve got a few hikes under your belt.

Shameless plug: the Nerd Fitness t-shirt does hold up quite well to wear and tear over long periods of time – I’ve been rocking my shirt in heavy rotation on lots of hikes for years. It can also withstand gamma rays and makes you invisible.[3]

if you’re on a multi-day hike in various conditions then having lightweight merino wool shirts you can layer and not need to wash would be great. But just going for a hike in the woods in your back yard? Whatever you would wear while running, training, etc. Aka whatever won’t chafe!

SHOULD I BRING A JACKET?

I’ve been wearing this Mountain Hardware jacket on most of my hikes and it has been awesome (10 years and counting) – very lightweight so packing it isn’t a hassle, waterproof so it keeps me dry when it rains, and heavy enough to block the wind to keep me warm when it’s chilly.

Don’t go out of your way to buy a new jacket if you have a decent windbreaker, but if you’re going to be doing a lot of hiking or you’re in the market for a new coat, here’s my advice: go to a local store and try out all of the jackets until you find one you like.

Once you find the perfect jacket, go home and check online (you can sometimes find the same jacket for up to 60% less) – then, ask the local store if they’ll price match or just buy it online.

SHOULD I WEAR A HAT?

You should definitely bring a hat. I’m usually rocking my Nerd Fitness hat or my Red Sox hat (booo Yankees), but while hiking in Australia I wore a hat with a giant floppy brim to keep my ears and face protected from the sun.

The tops of your ears and back of your neck are highly susceptible to getting burned while on the trail, so either get some sunscreen or wear a hat that keeps them covered.

The same is true for keeping pesky things out of your hair, the sun from burning your ears and face, and keep you a bit cooler.

WHAT KIND OF BACKPACK SHOULD I BRING?

Digging into the ins and outs of backpacks is far beyond the scope of this article. I’d recommend you check out my friend Chase’s Bag Review Youtube channel – guaranteed to be the most fun you’ll ever have learning about bags.

So what would I recommend for a beginner on a hike? The bag you currently have! If you’re going on a short hike, you can start with simply whatever bag you have. The lighter and comfier it is, the better.

Multi-day hikes where you’re living out of your bag, packing up, and building a tent each day – this is beyond the scope of this article. I have rocked a Kelty Coyote bag that I’ve lived out of for months at a time, and have also used on multi-day hikes.

If you have the means and the time, and you’re planning to go on certain hikes, go to an outdoor specialty store, speak with a professional, and get fitted for your body type and type of hike you’re doing!

THE MORAL OF THE STORY: VERSATILITY

If your weather forecast is “75 and sunny,” and you’re hiking for the afternoon through a gradually sloping wooded forest, you can severely limit what you’re bringing with you.

If it’s questionable or looks like things might change during the day, versatility is your best bet – a jacket, pants that can become shorts, a long sleeve shirt that you can take off or roll the sleeves up, etc.

Don’t go out and buy all new stuff until you’re sure hiking is an activity you want to invest in.  Borrow from friends, make do with what you have

Just get started.

BY NOW YOU SHOULD HAVE A ROUGH IDEA OF WHAT YOU WILL BE WEARING! 

In your head you should be saying, “Steve how can you read my mind?!

I just decided:

I’d hike in my current gym sneakers.

I have a pair of gardening pants and tall socks I can wear.

I have a floppy hat.

My new Nerd Fitness t-shirt.

I feel like I’m good to go!

Perfect.

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BONUS: How to level up your life and be the hero of your own story

How Much Water Should I Bring On My Hike?

If there’s ONE thing you should not leave home without, it’s a water container so you can stay hydrated.

“How much water should I be drinking on my hike, Steve?”

Great question. I knew you were smart from the moment you started reading this article.

You should be drinking 1 liter of water every two hours as a rough guideline. Increase this amount if you are hiking in very warm/desert climates.

FAVORITE WATER CONTAINERS:

I’m partial to stainless steel bottles or aluminum bottles over Nalgene or reused plastic bottles, but make do with what you have.  Make sure you bring enough water with you to keep you hydrated through your adventure.

Going on longer hikes? Get yourself a hydration backpack (which can double as your hiking pack!) to transplant water more conveniently.

Not only that, but make sure you have been consuming water before you go hiking so that you’re not starting at a hydration deficit.

Hangovers + early morning hikes – water = bad news bears.

What Gear Should I Bring on My Hike? (Sunscreen, Knives, and First Aid Kits)

If you’re just getting started, I’m going to guess you won’t be climbing to the top of a mountain in Alaska, but rather going on an introductory hike that will help build your confidence and get you rolling.

Here’s what I’d recommend you bring with you on your adventure:

Sunscreen – If it’s sunny outside and you’re hiking through the woods or up a mountain with a cool breeze in your face, you probably won’t be able to tell that your ears and face are getting absolutely torched.  Get yourself some waterproof sweatproof sunscreen (SPF 30 minimum) to cover up those ears, cheeks, and back of your neck.

Bug spray – especially if it’s “that time of the year” in your area where bugs are out in full force.  Nothing worse than coming home to arms and legs covered in bug bites.

First aid kit – Having some first aid stuff with you is a good idea: band-aids and moleskin for blisters and cuts, Neosporin or some type of disinfectant for cuts/scrapes, and maybe a bandage or two just in case. Outdoor stores sell travel first aid kits (as does Amazon), but I’d advise you to make your own (you should have these things in your medicine cabinet anyway – and then you’ll know exactly where everything is!).

Pocket knife – Not essential if you’re in a park, but a good thing to have with you out in the woods so you’re prepared for anything. Like McGyver.

Sunglasses – No need to go blind while out on the trail.  You probably already have sunglasses floating around your house: I’d recommend bringing the $5 ones rather than $250 Ray-Bans.

Cellphone – a phone can help bail you out in case of an emergency, and if you have a smartphone it can multitask as your compass, distance tracker, mapper, and so on. Even if you have a cellphone, bringing a compass or GPS system isn’t a bad idea (unless it’s bright and sunny and you’re good at orienting yourself).

If you’re going on a longer hike, bringing a lightweight phone charger that you can use to charge your phone up quickly is usually pretty easy.

What Food Should I Bring Hiking? What Should I Eat on a Day Hike?

FOOD!

You know, the stuff that keeps us alive.

The answer to this will vary greatly depending on how long you plan on hiking for, the time of day, your love of snacking, so the advice here is going to largely mirror the advice we give in our nutritional posts!

Although by no means a complete list of snacks, this is usually what I like to pack in my bag before a hike:

Nuts – Almonds or walnuts. Great for snacking on, loaded w/ healthy fat and protein. Nut butters are a good healthy fat option too – my favorite is trader Joe’s raw unsalted almond butter. Ingredient: almonds! They are high in calorie content however, so if you are trying to lose weight, don’t do a 10-minute walk and eat 4000 calories worth of nuts. We in the business like to call that “counterproductive.”

Fruit – I throw two or three apples in my bag; apples and nuts mean I’ve pretty much got all of the fat, protein, and carbs I need for my day. Things like bananas, raisins, and other fruit are good options as well – pick based on your personal preference and tastes. Fruit (especially dried fruit) can have lots of sugar and calories, so don’t kid yourself into eating 5000 calories worth of dried fruit and call it healthy!

Beef jerky! Make your own or go with some high-quality store-bought stuff.  Lots of protein, easy to pack, and keeps well. Mmmmmm.

What about trail mix or granola bars? You’d probably think granola bars and trail mix are synonymous with hiking, but I’m actually not a fan of either unless they’re homemade – these products are usually loaded with salt/sugar and processed grains and are pretty damn unhealthy.

If you’re gonna go with trail mix, make your own with dried fruit and raw unsalted nuts. If you DON’T have other options, tossing a few granola bars in the bag isn’t the end of the world.

More food advice here:

Primal Trail Food

A book (optional) – I LOVE READING (more than I love lowercase letters), so I always travel with my Kindle. Although hiking with friends can be fun, I also get a huge thrill out of hiking out to a remote location overlooking a valley or sitting on the edge of a river with a book so that I can spend a few hours getting lost in a story.

If it’s a multi-day hike and you’re avoiding technology, then bringing a dead tree book is worth the extra weight in your bag!

A camera (optional) – Although I have a camera that I travel with, most of the pictures I’ve been taking recently have been done with my iPhone using apps like Camera+ or ProHDR (which I freaking love). Both apps are worth the price.

You don’t need to be a great photographer, just need to capture the moment to look back on fondly as a crotchety old grandpa. Obviously, if you’re a serious photographer, you’ve already planned to pack your DSLR so I won’t get into that.

Seven Hiking Tips for Beginners

KNOW THE LOCAL WILDLIFE! Do a quick search of your hike to know what sorts of critters you’ll encounter on the trail. If you are hiking in bear country or snake country, these are things it’s very important to know. Whether it’s carrying a can of bear mace or knowing what to look for, this can help you prevent serious problems. Also, watch out for wild ostriches.

CLEAN UP, CHECK FOR TICKS – if you’re in a heavily wooded area and carving through the wilderness, check yourself for ticks and make sure you take a shower with hot water and soap immediately when you get home in case you came in contact with any poisonous plants or things like that. I can’t tell you how many times I woke up with a swollen face as a kid because of my hike through poison ivy the day before.

AIM FOR THE HIGH GROUND – I love hiking to tall things: the top of a mountain, the high point in a town, the roof of a building.  It gives you a great halfway point to stop, eat some lunch or dinner, and enjoy the view; plus, you already know exactly how far you need to go on your way down. One piece of advice on going DOWN a steep mountain or a lot of steps: Shorten your stride, and take care to land on the balls of your feet with a bent knee if possible – if you’re landing on your heels for thousands of steps, it can wreak havoc on your knees and joints as there’s no shock absorption. I remember how sore my knees were the day after hiking down Colca Canyon in Peru with my buddy Cash because I didn’t make an effort to soften my steps and take care of my body.

URBAN HIKING – “But Steve I live in a city, I can’t go hiking!” Why the hell not? Load up your backpack, map out a route on Google maps, maybe even find a tall building – avoid the elevator, climb the steps. Or walk until you find a park, sit on a bench and read a book. Sure, it’s not the same as hiking the Rockies, but it will still get your heart pumping and feet moving! Like The Goonies teaches us, adventure can be found in your own backyard with the right attitude!

KEEP TRACK OF IT – If you have an iPhone or Android, download a hiking or running app to keep track of how far you go and how much hiking you do. Although I haven’t been tracking my hikes abroad (I leave my phone in Airplane mode while traveling), I’ve heard great things about RunKeeper and EasyTrails. If you have more apps or suggestions on how to keep track of your hikes, let me know in the comments and I’ll add them here. I personally use a cheap Fitbit Flex 2, which tracks my steps and elevation. Good enough!

GEOCACHING – Great fun can be had while geocaching.  Simply go to the website, track your location, and then decide on which cache you’re going to track down. Think of it as a real-life version of Indiana Jones or Uncharted, minus the Nazis and undead warriors. We geocached around Sydney for a Nerd Fitness meetup, and it was delightful!

GIVE A HOOT, DON’T POLLUTE – Pack it in, pack it out. If you bring anything with you, it better be coming back with you. Don’t leave trash in the woods, and pick up any extra trash you see out there. The wilderness thanks you for your service, citizen!

Not all those who wander are lost (sTART hIKING tODAY)

This article is just a primer, meant to whet your appetite and make you excited to go hiking and exploring the wonderful world around us. 

Here are a few other resources on hiking if you want more information.  Feel free to let me know about more in the comments:

Tips for Primal/Paleo Hiking

Hiking Emergencies on Art of Manliness

American Hiking Society

I challenge you to plan a hike for this upcoming weekend. YES, even if you’re in the opposite hemisphere and it’s really cold out!

Get some great snacks, strap on your shoes, grab a friend, and go explore.

I’d love to hear from you about the place you’re going hiking this weekend.

Leave a comment below and let me know:

Where you’re going.

When you’re going.

And what you’re most excited about!

Promise that you won’t hike pants-less.

Any tips you have for your fellow hikers.

-Steve

PS: Still unsure if you’ll be ready for your big hike? I’ll again remind you of our 1-on-1 Online Coaching Program. We have clients who successfully used the program to train for hiking up large mountains, and we’d love to see if we can help you too!

PPS: Today’s Rebel Hero: Saint, whose success story has inspired hundreds of thousands of people. 8 years since publishing that success story, Saint is now happily married, a father of two, and just built a new swing set for his kids!

Notice that little rock climbing wall? I’m sure his 1-year-old daughter and 3-year-old son (both Rebels already!) will be scaling sheer rock faces in no time. He’s a Rebel hero indeed.

###

photo credit: 77krc Mixed Nuts

All other photos from my Photostream

  Footnotes    ( returns to text)

The dude went hiking alone, got trapped under a rock, and had to cut his own arm off to get free and survive

True story: when I was a little kid, I made myself a little bow and arrow (trying to be like Link) and unknowingly feathered my homemade arrows with poison ivy leaves. My face swelled up for 2 weeks

Not really, please don’t taunt bears while wearing this shirt. You are not invisible. And he/she will eat you. #TheMoreYouKnow

A Beginner’s Guide to Hiking: Everything You Need For Your First Hike! published first on https://dietariouspage.tumblr.com/

[jamessoto778]

Guide to arrange hiking adventure

When you think of hiking, you might imagine a bunch of road-tested perma-travelers with oversized backpacks, hiking through epic mountains for weeks upon weeks at a time.

Or maybe, a pair of hobbits setting out on a worldwide adventure to destroy a ring of awe-inspiring power.

If you’re just beginning your journey to a better lifestyle, just thinking about serious hiking can be enough to keep you inside your comfy hobbit hole.

Although hiking can an epic undertaking, it doesn’t need to be! It can also be super simple and fun: • A quick jaunt (such a great word, right?) around your local park after work. • Exploring the woods behind your house with your kids on a saturday morning. • A half-day hike with your friends on a fun nature trail. • A full day or overnight hike that also includes camping. Here’s my definition for hiking: A person (or self-aware robot) exploring their surroundings and their feet are on actual ground. Like, dirt. And grass.

Some might say it needs to be difficult, have a certain elevation change, require a blah blah blah. It literally doesn’t matter. What matters is that you go outside and do something you wouldn’t have done otherwise.

Here in the Nerd Fitness Rebellion, hikers would fall into the Adventurer class.

If you’re looking for a fun “cardio” activity and want to exercise in a way that’s exciting, hiking is a great way to get your legs, feet, and body used to strenuous activity.

You get to pick your speed and difficulty, you can always find a way the right amount of challenge for you.

keto backpacking food http://www.savvyhiking.com/tips-to-choosing-keto-hiking-food-for-a-multi-day-hike

1) Decide how long you have to hike.  This is a beginner’s guide to hiking, we’re not looking to hike the Appalachian Trail. Instead, we want to start with  trails that can be done in less than a day, that won’t require you to pack a tent, or bring extra change of clothes.  Pick a hike based on how much time you have – do you have the entire Sunday? Or do you just have a few hours on a Tuesday afternoon? It took Frodo and Sam 6 months to get to Mordor, but you probably don’t have that much time.

However, if you DID want to “walk to Mordor,” I got you covered there too. You’re welcome!

2) Decide if you’ll be hiking solo or with a friend/group – I love hiking solo – it’s mobile meditation for me.  However, it’s also more dangerous should anything happen while you’re out on the trail! If you’re heading into the wilderness, I’d recommend buddying up with a friend or your significant other for your hike. It’s the perfect bonding opportunity. This is especially true if they have more hiking experience or they know the area that you’re hiking in.

3) Determine your level – if you are a hiking newbie and horribly out of shape, sending yourself out on an eight hour hike through the unmapped wilderness is incredibly unintelligent. And as your mom has probably told you before, “I thought you were smarter than that.” Start slow, and pick places around your town that will allow you to stop when necessary and get back to your car or home quickly. No need to be a hero; it’s always better to come back excited and say “wow that was easier than I expected!” than to realize you’re six hours from home and out of steam. Well, being a hero is cool. But not THAT kind of hero.

4) Pick your hiking location – Keep it simple! Go to AllTrails.com, put in your zip code, find your hiking trail!

Or pull up Google Maps and look for big green plots of land. We call those “parks.” Google the park name, learn about it, and decide if that’s where you want to go. Do not over complicate this step. Just get started.

best cold weather hiking pants http://www.savvyhiking.com/best-cold-weather-hiking-pants-gearing-up-for-a-winter-wonderland-hike

Ask your active, adventurous friends or coworkers if they know any good spots.

The world is FULL of hiking trails and awesomeness – you just need to know where to look.

5) Regardless of where you are going, let somebody else know where are when – if you are out hiking alone, take the time to email or call somebody and let him know that you’ll be hiking and when you expect to be back.

We don’t want to hear about any 127 Hours[1] stories on NF…that would make playing video games way more difficult.

You don’t need to tell them the brand of your underwear (please tell me you’re wearing underwear) or how many almonds you’re bringing, but let them know the important details so if they don’t hear back from you by a certain time they know to alert the proper authorities.

So right now, you should have answers to the following questions: • How much time you can dedicate to hiking. • Who you will be hiking with. • Your level of experience • Using AllTrails.com or GoogleMaps to pick your hiking location. • Who you will tell about your hiking experience. This is simple: stilettos, your favorite mini skirt, a fishnet halter top, and a vest made out of raw meat. You’re welcome! In all seriousness, I’m a big fan of being comfortable without breaking the bank. Like, you probably already have most of the clothing you need to go hiking.

WHAT SHOES SHOULD I WEAR TO HIKE IN?

We cover footwear extensively in our healthy feet article, but I’ll cover shoes specifically in the case of hiking here, but we at Nerd Fitness are huge fan of Merrell products – Merrell shoes of various types have treated me well for the past decade.

hiking shoes for wide feet http://www.savvyhiking.com/finding-the-best-hiking-shoes-for-wide-feet-women

Just don’t a lack of quality hiking boots keep you from a hike. If you’re concerned, pick an easy paced hike with your current shoes to be safe and ramp up when you can ramp up your gear!

Some people hike the Appalachian Trail in their bare feet (must be part-Hobbit), so whatever you do: don’t let your footwear choice keep you from getting started. Just make sure you break your shoes in and take them on test drives! Don’t take the tags off a new pair of shoes and then go on a multi-day hike – that’s a recipe for blisters and a miserable time.

Okay, let’s look at our feet. Now that we’ve done that, let’s look at some shoe options: LEVEL ONE: Hiking shoes – “hiking shoes” are great if you’re going to be doing simple day hikes or hiking occasionally: they have good grip on the bottom, give you enough support, but aren’t too heavy that they are a hindrance.

Here are my favorite options if you in the market for some new hiking shoes: • Merrell Vent Hiking Shoe • Merrell Trail Glove 4 (Men) – I have the blue ones. They rock. • Merrell Trail Glove 4 (women)Oh what’s that? “Steve I don’t have hiking shoes! Is this the end of the world?” Well, do you have any sort of athletic shoe? Depending on the grip on the bottom, they could be decently okay for you to get started with when it comes to a basic hike.If sneakers are your only option, lace em up, pick a beginner hike, and see how they do. Just be careful on slippery surfaces – your kicks might not give you the grip won’t give you the grip you need to get over them.

LEVEL TWO – Hiking boots – I don’t hike enough or do enough multi-day hikes to justify the cost of hiking boots, but again I would point to Merrell boots if you’re in the market.

“Why boots over shoes, Steve?”

Although many prefer trail shoes (like yours truly), I can absolutely see the value in a great pair of hiking boots if you’re going on a serious hike, traveling for multiple days, or more. They have more ankle support, thicker tread, thicker shoes, and provide your feet with significantly more protection.

best hiking socks to prevent blisters http://www.savvyhiking.com/beginners-guide-to-picking-the-best-hiking-socks-to-prevent-blisters

REI has a great article helping you pick between Trail shoes and Trail boots. My advice? Start with what you currently have before deciding whether or not to invest in big boots. Once you build up the habit of hiking and decide you want to make it a bigger part of your life, you can make the investment.

My advice? If you are going to buy boots, go to a professional store, get fitted properly, and then break them in over many weeks before going out on a trail.

WEIRD BUT FUN FOR SIMPLE HIKES: Vibram FiveFingers – I hiked all around the globe, in various situations, wearing my Vibrams for close to 4 years. They made me feel like a ninja monkey, and a hobbit. I got weird looks, but something just felt right about being able to feel the contours of the ground beneath me. I will say, when hiking in Vibrams it can be easier to twist an ankle when stepping on a root or rock, stepping on sharp rocks can hurt, so I found myself watching my feet much more than expected.

These days, I’m much more of a trail shoe kind of guy, but some still swear by Vibrams!

[hotfitnesstopics]

“It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.” JRR Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings. I’m going to make a bet with you. By the end of today’s article, I bet I can convince you to say the following, “Damn Steve! Now I want to go hiking. FINE.” After all, Hiking is one of the greatest things you can do for your health, both mental and physical: It’s amazing way to get off your ass and explore your local surroundings. It requires next to nothing to get started. It’s a great bonding activity with friends, family, and significant others It’s a great date idea for the right person! You already have everything you need to get started. It’s free. As in, zero dollars. It’s a great reminder that this world in which we live is pretty amazing. Our community members love hiking too. In fact, one of our recent success stories specifically cited hiking as one of the fun activities she loved to do to help her lose 50 pounds. Today I’m going to teach you how to hike with a little help from our furry-footed friends. By the end of today’s post, my goal is convince you to have picked a trail, picked a date, and identified a fella or gal to join your fellowship (galship?). I took the above picture while hiking through Killarney National Park in Ireland many years ago, and every time I look at it, I couldn’t help but think of Tolkien’s middle-earth masterpiece, so I apologize (not really) for all of the Lord of the Rings nerdery running throughout this post! Let’s get you hiking. Hiking 101: How to Get Started With Hiking When you think of hiking, you might imagine a bunch of road-tested perma-travelers with oversized backpacks, hiking through epic mountains for weeks upon weeks at a time.  Or maybe, a pair of hobbits setting out on a worldwide adventure to destroy a ring of awe-inspiring power. If you’re just beginning your journey to a better lifestyle, just thinking about serious hiking can be enough to keep you inside your comfy hobbit hole. Although hiking can an epic undertaking, it doesn’t need to be! It can also be super simple and fun: A quick jaunt (such a great word, right?) around your local park after work. Exploring the woods behind your house with your kids on a saturday morning. A half-day hike with your friends on a fun nature trail. A full day or overnight hike that also includes camping. Here’s my definition for hiking: A person (or self-aware robot) exploring their surroundings and their feet are on actual ground. Like, dirt. And grass. Some might say it needs to be difficult, have a certain elevation change, require a blah blah blah. It literally doesn’t matter. What matters is that you go outside and do something you wouldn’t have done otherwise. Here in the Nerd Fitness Rebellion, hikers would fall into the Adventurer class. If you’re looking for a fun “cardio” activity and want to exercise in a way that’s exciting, hiking is a great way to get your legs, feet, and body used to strenuous activity. You get to pick your speed and difficulty, you can always find a way the right amount of challenge for you. HIKING101: 5 STEPS TO PLAN OUT YOUR ADVENTURE 1) Decide how long you have to hike.  This is a beginner’s guide to hiking, we’re not looking to hike the Appalachian Trail. Instead, we want to start with  trails that can be done in less than a day, that won’t require you to pack a tent, or bring extra change of clothes.  Pick a hike based on how much time you have – do you have the entire Sunday? Or do you just have a few hours on a Tuesday afternoon? It took Frodo and Sam 6 months to get to Mordor, but you probably don’t have that much time. However, if you DID want to “walk to Mordor,” I got you covered there too. You’re welcome! 2) Decide if you’ll be hiking solo or with a friend/group – I love hiking solo – it’s mobile meditation for me.  However, it’s also more dangerous should anything happen while you’re out on the trail! If you’re heading into the wilderness, I’d recommend buddying up with a friend or your significant other for your hike. It’s the perfect bonding opportunity. This is especially true if they have more hiking experience or they know the area that you’re hiking in. 3) Determine your level – if you are a hiking newbie and horribly out of shape, sending yourself out on an eight hour hike through the unmapped wilderness is incredibly unintelligent. And as your mom has probably told you before, “I thought you were smarter than that.” Start slow, and pick places around your town that will allow you to stop when necessary and get back to your car or home quickly. No need to be a hero; it’s always better to come back excited and say “wow that was easier than I expected!” than to realize you’re six hours from home and out of steam. Well, being a hero is cool. But not THAT kind of hero. 4) Pick your hiking location – Keep it simple! Go to AllTrails.com, put in your zip code, find your hiking trail! Or pull up Google Maps and look for big green plots of land. We call those “parks.” Google the park name, learn about it, and decide if that’s where you want to go. Do not over complicate this step. Just get started. Ask your active, adventurous friends or coworkers if they know any good spots. The world is FULL of hiking trails and awesomeness – you just need to know where to look. 5) Regardless of where you are going, let somebody else know where are when – if you are out hiking alone, take the time to email or call somebody and let him know that you’ll be hiking and when you expect to be back. We don’t want to hear about any 127 Hours[1] stories on NF…that would make playing video games way more difficult. You don’t need to tell them the brand of your underwear (please tell me you’re wearing underwear) or how many almonds you’re bringing, but let them know the important details so if they don’t hear back from you by a certain time they know to alert the proper authorities. So right now, you should have answers to the following questions: How much time you can dedicate to hiking. Who you will be hiking with. Your level of experience Using AllTrails.com or GoogleMaps to pick your hiking location. Who you will tell about your hiking experience. HIking Footwear: What to Wear on your Feet Hiking! This is simple: stilettos, your favorite mini skirt, a fishnet halter top, and a vest made out of raw meat. You’re welcome! In all seriousness, I’m a big fan of being comfortable without breaking the bank. Like, you probably already have most of the clothing you need to go hiking. WHAT SHOES SHOULD I WEAR TO HIKE IN? We cover footwear extensively in our healthy feet article, but I’ll cover shoes specifically in the case of hiking here, but we at Nerd Fitness are huge fan of Merrell products – Merrell shoes of various types have treated me well for the past decade. Just don’t a lack of quality hiking boots keep you from a hike. If you’re concerned, pick an easy paced hike with your current shoes to be safe and ramp up when you can ramp up your gear! Some people hike the Appalachian Trail in their bare feet (must be part-Hobbit), so whatever you do: don’t let your footwear choice keep you from getting started. Just make sure you break your shoes in and take them on test drives! Don’t take the tags off a new pair of shoes and then go on a multi-day hike – that’s a recipe for blisters and a miserable time. Okay, let’s look at our feet.  Now that we’ve done that, let’s look at some shoe options: LEVEL ONE: Hiking shoes – “hiking shoes” are great if you’re going to be doing simple day hikes or hiking occasionally: they have good grip on the bottom, give you enough support, but aren’t too heavy that they are a hindrance. Here are my favorite options if you in the market for some new hiking shoes: Merrell Vent Hiking Shoe Merrell Trail Glove 4 (Men) – I have the blue ones. They rock. Merrell Trail Glove 4 (women)Oh what’s that? “Steve I don’t have hiking shoes! Is this the end of the world?” Well, do you have any sort of athletic shoe? Depending on the grip on the bottom, they could be decently okay for you to get started with when it comes to a basic hike.If sneakers are your only option, lace em up, pick a beginner hike, and see how they do. Just be careful on slippery surfaces – your kicks might not give you the grip won’t give you the grip you need to get over them. LEVEL TWO – Hiking boots – I don’t hike enough or do enough multi-day hikes to justify the cost of hiking boots, but again I would point to Merrell boots if you’re in the market. “Why boots over shoes, Steve?”  Although many prefer trail shoes (like yours truly), I can absolutely see the value in a great pair of hiking boots if you’re going on a serious hike, traveling for multiple days, or more. They have more ankle support, thicker tread, thicker shoes, and provide your feet with significantly more protection. REI has a great article helping you pick between Trail shoes and Trail boots. My advice? Start with what you currently have before deciding whether or not to invest in big boots. Once you build up the habit of hiking and decide you want to make it a bigger part of your life, you can make the investment. My advice? If you are going to buy boots, go to a professional store, get fitted properly, and then break them in over many weeks before going out on a trail. WEIRD BUT FUN FOR SIMPLE HIKES: Vibram FiveFingers – I hiked all around the globe, in various situations, wearing my Vibrams for close to 4 years. They made me feel like a ninja monkey, and a hobbit. I got weird looks, but something just felt right about being able to feel the contours of the ground beneath me. I will say, when hiking in Vibrams it can be easier to twist an ankle when stepping on a root or rock, stepping on sharp rocks can hurt, so I found myself watching my feet much more than expected. These days, I’m much more of a trail shoe kind of guy, but some still swear by Vibrams! If you’re in the market for buying new boots, this quick video is a good primer: WHAT SOCKS SHOULD YOU WEAR? If you’re wearing boots or sneakers, you want to wear socks that aren’t going to give you blisters or make your feet all sweaty and gross. Depending on how long the hike is, how serious you are about hiking, and your budget, you can look into merino-wool socks. Like the rest of your outfit, what you wear on your feet will largely be dependent on a few things: Weather! Are you hiking in the a forest and it’s 72 degrees out? Or are you hiking up the side of the mountain in cold conditions? Shoes! Are you in lightweight hiking shoes, lightweight hiking socks for the win. Hiking in big boots in cold months? Big thick warm socks are almost a requirement. Budget! Are you shopping for specific socks? Tall or short? Great. If you are brand new to hiking, just wear whatever athletic socks you wear while exercising. What’s the environment? If you’re hiking through grass, tall plants, etc. I’d go with tall socks (with your pants possibly tucked into them too). You’re not out there to win a fashion show! Here’s Switchback Travel’s best hiking socks of 2018, and here’s a great article from Art of Manliness on proper feet care after a hike or ruck!  What to Wear While Hiking: Clothing SHOULD YOU WEAR PANTS OR SHORTS? Pro tip: Don’t go pantsless through the wilderness. I cannot stress this enough. The real advice when it comes to pants/shorts is heavily dependent upon your environment. If it’s going to be cold, shorts might keep you shivering. If it’s going to be hot, pants might get too uncomfortable. Jeans? Ehhhhh. Sure. ONLY if its going to be a comfortable temperature and you have no other option. Being sweaty and hot while wearing jeans isn’t very fun. I’m a big fan of my nerd pants – the Columbia Silver Ridge pants. Although they look kind of goofy, they’re incredibly light weight, dry quickly, and can transform from pants to shorts in mere seconds! Traveling through woods, not sure what you’ll encounter? Wear lightweight pants. I am horribly allergic to poison ivy and who knows what else, so I like to keep as much of my body covered while hiking to make sure I don’t make contact with anything I’m allergic to. [2] WHAT TYPE OF SHIRT SHOULD YOU WEAR?  My favorite options are merino wool long shirts and t-shirts: they’re light, wick away moisture, hide odors, and breathe well – though you will be paying top dollar for them. If you’re just starting out, pick an old t-shirt and rock that – you can work on optimizing performance once you’ve got a few hikes under your belt. Shameless plug: the Nerd Fitness t-shirt does hold up quite well to wear and tear over long periods of time – I’ve been rocking my shirt in heavy rotation on lots of hikes for years. It can also withstand gamma rays and makes you invisible.[3] if you’re on a multi-day hike in various conditions then having lightweight merino wool shirts you can layer and not need to wash would be great. But just going for a hike in the woods in your back yard? Whatever you would wear while running, training, etc. Aka whatever won’t chafe! SHOULD YOU BRING A JACKET? I’ve been wearing this Mountain Hardware jacket on most of my hikes and it has been awesome (10 years and counting) – very lightweight so packing it isn’t a hassle, waterproof so it keeps me dry when it rains, and heavy enough to block the wind to keep me warm when it’s chilly. Don’t go out of your way to buy a new jacket if you have a decent wind breaker, but if you’re going to be doing a lot of hiking or you’re in the market for a new coat, here’s my advice: go to a local store and try out all of the jackets until you find one you like. Once you find the perfect jacket, go home and check online (you can sometimes find the same jacket for up to 60% less) – then, ask the local store if they’ll price match or just buy it online. SHOULD YOU WEAR A HAT? You should definitely bring a hat. I’m usually rocking my Nerd Fitness hat or my Red Sox hat (booo Yankees), but while hiking in Australia I wore a hat with a giant floppy brim to keep my ears and face protected from the sun. The tops of your ears and back of your neck are highly susceptible to getting burned while on the trail, so either get some sunscreen or wear a hat that keeps them covered. The same is true for keeping pesky things out of your hair, the sun from burning your ears and face, and keep you a bit cooler. WHAT KIND OF BACKPACK SHOULD YOU BRING? Digging into the ins and outs of backpacks is far beyond the scope of this article. I’d recommend you check out my friend Chase’s Bag Review Youtube channel – guaranteed to be the most fun you’ll ever have learning about bags. So what would I recommend for a beginner on a hike? The bag you currently have! If you’re going on a short hike, you can start with simply whatever bag you have. The lighter and more comfy it is, the better. Multi-day hikes where you’re living out of your bag, packing up and building a tent each day – this is beyond the scope of this article. I have rocked a Kelty Coyote bag that I’ve lived out of for months at a time, and have also used on multi-day hikes. If you have the means and the time, and you’re planning to go on certain hikes, go to a outdoor speciality store, speak with a professional, and get fitted for your body type and type of hike you’re doing! THE MORAL OF THE STORY: VERSATILITY If your weather forecast is “75 and sunny,” and you’re hiking for the afternoon through a gradually sloping wooded forest, you can severely limit what you’re bringing with you. If it’s questionable or looks like things might change during the day, versatility is your best bet – a jacket, pants that can become shorts, a long sleeve shirt that you can take off or roll the sleeves up, etc. Don’t go out and buy all new stuff until you’re sure hiking is an activity you want to invest in.  Borrow from friends, make do with what you have Just get started. BY NOW YOU SHOULD HAVE A ROUGH IDEA OF WHAT YOU WILL BE WEARING!  In your head you should be saying, “Steve how can you read my mind?! I just decided: I’d hike in my current gym sneakers. I have a pair of gardening pants and tall socks I can wear. I have a floppy hat. My new Nerd Fitness t-shirt. I feel like I’m good to go! Perfect. Get Your FREE Nerd Fitness Resource Kit 15 Fitness traps you should avoid Comprehensive beginner's guide to Paleo diet BONUS: How to level up your life and be the hero of your own story I identify as a: Woman Man How Much Water Should You Bring On Your Hike? If there’s ONE thing you should not leave home without, it’s a water container so you can stay hydrated. “How much water should I be drinking on my hike, Steve?” Great question. I knew you were smart from the moment you started reading this article. You should be drinking 1 liter of water every two hours as a rough guideline. Increase this amount if you are hiking in very warm/desert climates. FAVORITE WATER CONTAINERS: I’m partial to stainless steel bottles or aluminum bottles over Nalgene or reused plastic bottles, but make do with what you have.  Make sure you bring enough water with you to keep you hydrated through your adventure. Going on longer hikes? Get yourself a hydration backpack (which can double as your hiking pack!) to transplant water more conveniently. Not only that, but make sure you have been consuming water before you go hiking so that you’re not starting at a hydration deficit. Hangovers + early morning hikes – water = bad news bears. Important Gear to Bring On Your Hike. If you’re just getting started, I’m going to guess you won’t be climbing to the top of a mountain in Alaska, but rather going on an introductory hike that will help build your confidence and get you rolling. Here’s what I’d recommend you bring with you on your adventure: Sunscreen – If it’s sunny outside and you’re hiking through the woods or up a mountain with a cool breeze in your face, you probably won’t be able to tell that your ears and face are getting absolutely torched.  Get yourself some waterproof sweatproof sunscreen (SPF 30 minimum) to cover up those ears, cheeks, and back of your neck. Bug spray – especially if it’s “that time of the year” in your area where bugs are out in full force.  Nothing worse than coming home to arms and legs covered in bug bites. First aid kit – Having some first aid stuff with you is a good idea: band-aids and moleskin for blisters and cuts, Neosporin or some type of disinfectant for cuts/scrapes, and maybe a bandage or two just in case. Outdoor stores sell travel first aid kits (as does Amazon), but I’d advise you to make your own (you should have these things in your medicine cabinet anyways – and then you’ll know exactly where everything is!). Pocket knife – Not essential if you’re in a park, but a good thing to have with you out in the woods so you’re prepared for anything. Like McGyver. Sunglasses – No need to go blind while out on the trail.  You probably already have sunglasses floating around your house: I’d recommend bringing the $5 ones rather than $250 Ray-Bans. Cellphone – a phone can help bail you out in case of emergency, and if you have a smart phone it can multitask as your compass, distance tracker, mapper, and so on. Even if you have a cellphone, bringing a compass or GPS system isn’t a bad idea (unless it’s bright and sunny and you’re good at orienting yourself). If you’re going on a longer hike, bringing a lightweight phone charger that you can use to charge your phone up quickly is usually pretty easy. Great Hiking Snacks and FOod! FOOD! You know, the stuff that keeps us alive. The answer to this will vary greatly depending on how long you plan on hiking for, the time of day, your love of snacking, so the advice here is going to largely mirror the advice we give in our nutritional posts! Although by no means a complete list of snacks, this is usually what I like to pack in my bag before a hike: Nuts – Almonds or walnuts. Great for snacking on, loaded w/ healthy fat and protein. Nut butters are a good healthy fat option too – my favorite is trader Joe’s raw unsalted almond butter. Ingredient: almonds! They are high in calorie content however, so if you are trying to lose weight, don’t do a 10 minute walk and eat 4000 calories worth of nuts. We in the business like to call that “counterproductive.” Fruit – I throw two or three apples in my bag; apples and nuts mean I’ve pretty much got all of the fat, protein, and carbs I need for my day. Things like bananas, raisins, and other fruit are good options as well – pick based on your personal preference and tastes. Fruit (especially dried fruit) can have lots of sugar and calories, so don’t kid yourself into eating 5000 calories worth of dried fruit and call it healthy! Beef jerky! Make your own or go with some high quality store bought stuff.  Lots of protein, easy to pack, and keeps well. Mmmmmm. What about trail mix or granola bars? You’d probably think granola bars and trail mix are synonymous with hiking, but I’m actually not a fan of either unless they’re homemade – these products are usually loaded with salt/sugar and processed grains and are pretty damn unhealthy. If you’re gonna go with trail mix, make your own with dried fruit and raw unsalted nuts. If you DON’T have other options, tossing a few granola bars in the bag isn’t the end of the world. More food advice here: Primal Trail Food A book (optional) – I LOVE READING (more than I love lowercase letters), so I always travel with my Kindle. Although hiking with friends can be fun, I also get a huge thrill out of hiking out to a remote location overlooking a valley or sitting on the edge of a river with a book so that I can spend a few hours getting lost in a story. If it’s a multi-day hike and you’re avoiding technology, then bringing a dead tree book is worth the extra weight in your bag! A camera (optional) – Although I have a camera that I travel with, most of the pictures I’ve been taking recently have been done with my iPhone using apps like Camera+ or ProHDR (which I freaking love). Both apps are worth the price. You don’t need to be a great photographer, just need to capture the moment to look back on fondly as a crotchety old grandpa. Obviously if you’re a serious photographer, you’ve already planned to pack your DSLR so I won’t get into that. Tips and Tricks **KNOW THE LOCAL WILDLIFE!** Do a quick search of your hike to know what sorts of critters you’ll encounter on the trail. If you are hiking in bear country or snake country, these are things it’s very important to know. Whether it’s carrying a can of bear mace or knowing what to look for, this can help you prevent serious problems. Also watch out for wild ostriches. **CLEAN UP, CHECK FOR TICKS** – if you’re in a heavily wooded area and carving through the wilderness, check yourself for ticks and make sure you take a shower with hot water and soap immediately when you get home in case you came in contact with any poisonous plants or things like that. I can’t tell you how many times I woke up with a swollen face as a kid because of my hike through poison ivy the day before. Aim for the high ground – I love hiking to tall things: the top of a mountain, the high point in a town, the roof of a building.  It gives you a great halfway point to stop, eat some lunch or dinner, and enjoy the view; plus, you already know exactly how far you need to go on your way down. One piece of advice on going DOWN a steep mountain or a lot of steps: Shorten your stride, and take care to land on the balls of your feet with a bent knee if possible – if you’re landing on your heels for thousands of steps, it can wreak havoc on your knees and joints as there’s no shock absorption. I remember how sore my knees were the day after hiking down Colca Canyon in Peru with my buddy Cash because I didn’t make an effort to soften my steps and take care of my body. Urban Hiking – “But Steve I live in a city, I can’t go hiking!” Why the hell not? Load up your backpack, map out a route on Google maps, maybe even find a tall building – avoid the elevator, climb the steps. Or walk until you find a park, sit on a bench and read a book. Sure, it’s not the same as hiking the Rockies, but it will still get your heart pumping and feet moving! Like The Goonies teaches us, adventure can be found in your own backyard with the right attitude! Keep track of it – If you have an iPhone or Android, download a hiking or running app to keep track of how far you go and how much hiking you do. Although I haven’t been tracking my hikes abroad (I leave my phone in Airplane mode while traveling), I’ve heard great things about RunKeeper and EasyTrails. If you have more apps or suggestions on how to keep track of your hikes, let me know in the comments and I’ll add them here. I personally use a cheap Fitbit Flex 2, which tracks my steps and elevation. Good enough! Geocaching – Great fun can be had while geocaching.  Simply go to the website, track your location, and then decide on which cache you’re going to track down. Think of it like a real life version of Indiana Jones or Uncharted, minus the Nazis and undead warriors. We geocached around Sydney for a Nerd Fitness meetup, and it was delightful! Give a hoot, don’t pollute – Pack it in, pack it out. If you bring anything with you, it better be coming back with you. Don’t leave trash in the woods, and pick up any extra trash you see out there. The wilderness thanks you for your service, citizen! Not all those who wander are lost This article is just a primer, meant to whet your appetite and make you excited to go hiking and exploring the wonderful world around us.  Here are a few other resources on hiking if you want more information.  Feel free to let me know about more in the comments: Tips for Primal/Paleo Hiking Hiking Emergencies on Art of Manliness American Hiking Society I challenge you to plan a hike for this upcoming weekend. YES, even if you’re in the opposite hemisphere and it’s really cold out! Get some great snacks, strap on your shoes, grab a friend, and go explore. I’d love to hear from you about the place you’re going hiking this weekend. Leave a comment below and let me know: Where you’re going. When you’re going. And what you’re most excited about! Promise that you won’t hike pants-less. Any tips you have for your fellow hikers. Leave a comment before July 6th, 2018 at 11:59PM, we’ll pick two winners at random and send them their own free NF Shirt! -Steve PS: We’re celebrating “Outsiders Month” here at Nerd Fitness, so if you have pictures of yourself rocking your Nerd Fitness Gear outdoors doing something epic, send a photo to [email protected] so I can feature you! PPS: Today’s Rebel Hero: Saint, whose success story has inspired hundreds of thousands of people. 8 years since publishing that success story, Saint is now happily married, a father of two, and just built a new swing set for his kids! Notice that little rock climbing wall? I’m sure his 1 year old daughter and 3 year old son (both Rebels already!) will be scaling sheer rock faces in no time. He’s a Rebel hero indeed. ### photo credit: 77krc Mixed Nuts All other photos from my Photostream   Footnotes    ( returns to text) The dude went hiking alone, got trapped under a rock, and had to cut his own arm off to get free and survive True story: when I was a little kid, I made myself a little bow and arrow (trying to be like Link) and unknowingly feathered my homemade arrows with poison ivy leaves. My face swelled up for 2 weeks Not really, please don’t taunt bears while wearing this shirt. You are not invisible. And he/she will eat you. #TheMoreYouKnow from Blog – Nerd Fitness https://ift.tt/2iAbhV0 via IFTTT

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A Beginner’s Guide to Hiking: Everything You Need For Your First Hike!

Before you step foot in the great outdoors, read this guide!

There’s nothing more embarrassing than a city slicker getting lost in the woods, so let’s make sure you know where you’re going, what to wear, and what to bring.

That way your first hike will be fun, adventurous, and more importantly safe!

Today will cover:

How Do I Find Hiking Trails Near Me? (How to Start Hiking)

What Shoes Do I Wear Hiking? (Proper Footwear)

What Do I Wear While Hiking? (Clothing)

How Much Water Should I Bring on My Hike?

What Gear Should I Bring on My Hike? (Sunscreen, Knives, and First Aid Kits)

What Food Should I Bring Hiking? What Should I Eat on a Day Hike?

7 Hiking Tips for Beginners.

I’m happy you’re excited about hiking and I can’t wait for you to get started!

I took the above picture while hiking through Killarney National Park in Ireland many years ago, and every time I look at it, I couldn’t help but think of Tolkien’s Middle-earth masterpiece, so I apologize (not really) for all of the Lord of the Rings nerdery running throughout this post!

Our community members love hiking too. In fact, one of our recent success stories specifically cited hiking as one of the fun activities she loved to do to help her lose 50 pounds:

By the end of today’s post, my goal is to have you pick a trail, pick a date, and identify a fella or gal to join your fellowship (galship?).

Before we jump in, are you here because you’re learning to hike to lose weight? Did you hear it’s a fun way to exercise and get your body moving?

If so, you’ve come to the right place!

As I mentioned, some clients in our uber-popular 1-on-1 Online Coaching Program used hiking as part of their weight loss training. These folks would rather head outside than jump on a treadmill, and our coaches designed a program so they could do just that!

Here’s how it works: your NF Coach will build a custom workout plan based on your experience level and goals. Training to climb up a literal mountain? Maybe you need to get rid of an old ring? We’ll create a plan to get you to the top!

Alright, let’s get you hiking!

How Do I Find Hiking Trails Near Me? (How to Start Hiking)

When you think of hiking, you might imagine a bunch of road-tested perma-travelers with oversized backpacks, hiking through epic mountains for weeks upon weeks at a time. 

Or maybe, a pair of hobbits setting out on a worldwide adventure to destroy a ring of awe-inspiring power.

If you’re just beginning your journey to a better lifestyle, just thinking about serious hiking can be enough to keep you inside your comfy hobbit hole.

Although hiking can an epic undertaking, it doesn’t need to be!

A hike also be super simple and fun:

A quick jaunt (such a great word, right?) around your local park after work.

Exploring the woods behind your house with your kids on a saturday morning.

A half-day hike with your friends on a fun nature trail.

A full day or overnight hike that also includes camping.

Here’s my definition for hiking: A person (or halfing, or self-aware robot) exploring their surroundings and their feet are on the actual ground. Like, dirt. And grass.

Some might say it needs to be difficult, have a certain elevation change, require a blah blah blah. It literally doesn’t matter.

What matters is that you go outside and do something you wouldn’t have done otherwise.

Here in the Nerd Fitness Rebellion, hikers would fall into the Adventurer class.

If you’re looking for a fun “cardio” activity and want to exercise in a way that’s exciting, hiking is a great way to get your legs, feet, and body used to strenuous activity.

You get to pick your speed and difficulty, you can always find a way the right amount of challenge for you.

HIKING 101: 5 STEPS TO PLAN OUT YOUR ADVENTURE

1) Decide how long you have to hike.  This is a beginner’s guide to hiking, we’re not looking to hike the Appalachian Trail. Instead, we want to start with  trails that can be done in less than a day, that won’t require you to pack a tent, or bring extra change of clothes.  Pick a hike based on how much time you have – do you have the entire Sunday? Or do you just have a few hours on a Tuesday afternoon? It took Frodo and Sam 6 months to get to Mordor, but you probably don’t have that much time.

However, if you DID want to “walk to Mordor,” I got you covered there too. You’re welcome!

2) Decide if you’ll be hiking solo or with a friend/group – I love hiking solo – it’s mobile meditation for me.  However, it’s also more dangerous should anything happen while you’re out on the trail! If you’re heading into the wilderness, I’d recommend buddying up with a friend or your significant other for your hike. It’s the perfect bonding opportunity. This is especially true if they have more hiking experience or they know the area that you’re hiking in.

3) Determine your level – if you are a hiking newbie and horribly out of shape, sending yourself out on an eight hour hike through the unmapped wilderness is incredibly unintelligent. And as your mom has probably told you before, “I thought you were smarter than that.”

Start slow, and pick places around your town that will allow you to stop when necessary and get back to your car or home quickly. No need to be a hero; it’s always better to come back excited and say “wow that was easier than I expected!” than to realize you’re six hours from home and out of steam. Well, being a hero is cool. But not THAT kind of hero.

4) Pick your hiking location – Keep it simple! Go to AllTrails.com, put in your zip code, find your hiking trail!

Or pull up Google Maps and look for big green plots of land. We call those “parks.” Google the park name, learn about it, and decide if that’s where you want to go. Do not over complicate this step. Just get started.

Ask your active, adventurous friends or coworkers if they know any good spots.

The world is FULL of hiking trails and awesomeness – you just need to know where to look.

5) Regardless of where you are going, let somebody else know where are when – if you are out hiking alone, take the time to email or call somebody and let him know that you’ll be hiking and when you expect to be back.

We don’t want to hear about any 127 Hours[1] stories on NF…that would make playing video games way more difficult.

You don’t need to tell them the brand of your underwear (please tell me you’re wearing underwear) or how many almonds you’re bringing, but let them know the important details so if they don’t hear back from you by a certain time they know to alert the proper authorities.

So right now, you should have answers to the following questions:

How much time you can dedicate to hiking.

Who you will be hiking with.

Your level of experience

Using AllTrails.com or GoogleMaps to pick your hiking location.

Who you will tell about your hiking experience.

What Shoes Do I Wear Hiking? (Proper Footwear)

This is simple: stilettos, your favorite mini skirt, a fishnet halter top, and a vest made out of raw meat. You’re welcome!

Wait, don’t do that.

I’m a big fan of being comfortable without breaking the bank. Like, you probably already have most of the clothing you need to go hiking.

WHAT SHOES SHOULD I WEAR TO HIKE IN?

We cover footwear extensively in our healthy feet article, but I’ll cover shoes specifically in the case of hiking here, but we at Nerd Fitness are huge fan of Merrell products – Merrell shoes of various types have treated me well for the past decade.

Just don’t a lack of quality hiking boots keep you from a hike. If you’re concerned, pick an easy paced hike with your current shoes to be safe and ramp up when you can ramp up your gear!

Some people hike the Appalachian Trail in their bare feet (must be part-Hobbit), so whatever you do: don’t let your footwear choice keep you from getting started. Just make sure you break your shoes in and take them on test drives! Don’t take the tags off a new pair of shoes and then go on a multi-day hike – that’s a recipe for blisters and a miserable time.

Okay, let’s look at our feet. 

Now that we’ve done that, let’s look at some shoe options:

LEVEL ONE: Hiking shoes – “hiking shoes” are great if you’re going to be doing simple day hikes or hiking occasionally: they have good grip on the bottom, give you enough support, but aren’t too heavy that they are a hindrance.

Here are my favorite options if you in the market for some new basic walking/hiking shoes:

Merrell Vent Hiking Shoe

Merrell Trail Glove 4 (Men) – I have the blue ones. They rock.

Merrell Trail Glove 4 (women)

Oh, what’s that? “Steve, I don’t have hiking shoes! Is this the end of the world?”

Well, do you have any sort of athletic shoe? Depending on the grip on the bottom, they could be decently okay for you to get started with when it comes to a basic hike. If sneakers are your only option, lace em up, pick a beginner hike, and see how they do. Just be careful on slippery surfaces – your kicks might not give you the grip won’t give you the grip you need to get over them.

LEVEL TWO – Hiking boots – I don’t hike enough or do enough multi-day hikes to justify the cost of hiking boots, but again I would point to Merrell boots if you’re in the market.

“Why boots over shoes, Steve?” 

Although many prefer trail shoes (like yours truly), I can absolutely see the value in a great pair of hiking boots if you’re going on a serious hike, traveling for multiple days, or more. They have more ankle support, thicker tread, thicker shoes, and provide your feet with significantly more protection.

REI has a great article helping you pick between Trail shoes and Trail boots. My advice? Start with what you currently have before deciding whether or not to invest in big boots. Once you build up the habit of hiking and decide you want to make it a bigger part of your life, you can make the investment.

My advice? If you are going to buy boots, go to a professional store, get fitted properly, and then break them in over many weeks before going out on a trail.

WEIRD BUT FUN FOR SIMPLE HIKES: Vibram FiveFingers – I hiked all around the globe, in various situations, wearing my Vibrams for close to 4 years. They made me feel like a ninja monkey, and a hobbit. I got weird looks, but something just felt right about being able to feel the contours of the ground beneath me. I will say, when hiking in Vibrams it can be easier to twist an ankle when stepping on a root or rock, stepping on sharp rocks can hurt, so I found myself watching my feet much more than expected.

These days, I’m much more of a trail shoe kind of guy, but some still swear by Vibrams!

If you’re in the market for buying new boots, this quick video is a good primer:

WHAT SOCKS SHOULD YOU WEAR?

If you’re wearing boots or sneakers, you want to wear socks that aren’t going to give you blisters or make your feet all sweaty and gross.

Depending on how long the hike is, how serious you are about hiking, and your budget, you can look into merino-wool socks.

Like the rest of your outfit, what you wear on your feet will largely be dependent on a few things:

Weather! Are you hiking in the forest and it’s 72 degrees out? Or are you hiking up the side of the mountain in cold conditions?

Shoes! Are you in lightweight hiking shoes, lightweight hiking socks for the win. Hiking in big boots in cold months? Big thick warm socks are almost a requirement.

Budget! Are you shopping for specific socks? Tall or short? Great. If you are brand new to hiking, just wear whatever athletic socks you wear while exercising.

What’s the environment? If you’re hiking through grass, tall plants, etc. I’d go with tall socks (with your pants possibly tucked into them too). You’re not out there to win a fashion show!

Here’s Switchback Travel’s best hiking socks of 2018, and here’s a great article from Art of Manliness on proper feet care after a hike or ruck! 

What Do I Wear While Hiking? (Clothing)

SHOULD I WEAR PANTS OR SHORTS?

Pro tip: Don’t go pantless through the wilderness. I cannot stress this enough.

The real advice when it comes to pants/shorts is heavily dependent upon your environment. If it’s going to be cold, shorts might keep you shivering. If it’s going to be hot, pants might get too uncomfortable.

Jeans? Ehhhhh. Sure. ONLY if it’s going to be a comfortable temperature and you have no other option. Being sweaty and hot while wearing jeans isn’t very fun.

I’m a big fan of my nerd pants – the Columbia Silver Ridge pants. Although they look kind of goofy, they’re incredibly light weight, dry quickly, and can transform from pants to shorts in mere seconds!

Traveling through woods, not sure what you’ll encounter? Wear lightweight pants. I am horribly allergic to poison ivy and who knows what else, so I like to keep as much of my body covered while hiking to make sure I don’t make contact with anything I’m allergic to. [2]

WHAT TYPE OF SHIRT SHOULD I WEAR? 

My favorite options are merino wool long shirts and t-shirts: they’re light, wick away moisture, hide odors, and breathe well – though you will be paying top dollar for them.

If you’re just starting out, pick an old t-shirt and rock that – you can work on optimizing performance once you’ve got a few hikes under your belt.

Shameless plug: the Nerd Fitness t-shirt does hold up quite well to wear and tear over long periods of time – I’ve been rocking my shirt in heavy rotation on lots of hikes for years. It can also withstand gamma rays and makes you invisible.[3]

if you’re on a multi-day hike in various conditions then having lightweight merino wool shirts you can layer and not need to wash would be great. But just going for a hike in the woods in your back yard? Whatever you would wear while running, training, etc. Aka whatever won’t chafe!

SHOULD I BRING A JACKET?

I’ve been wearing this Mountain Hardware jacket on most of my hikes and it has been awesome (10 years and counting) – very lightweight so packing it isn’t a hassle, waterproof so it keeps me dry when it rains, and heavy enough to block the wind to keep me warm when it’s chilly.

Don’t go out of your way to buy a new jacket if you have a decent windbreaker, but if you’re going to be doing a lot of hiking or you’re in the market for a new coat, here’s my advice: go to a local store and try out all of the jackets until you find one you like.

Once you find the perfect jacket, go home and check online (you can sometimes find the same jacket for up to 60% less) – then, ask the local store if they’ll price match or just buy it online.

SHOULD I WEAR A HAT?

You should definitely bring a hat. I’m usually rocking my Nerd Fitness hat or my Red Sox hat (booo Yankees), but while hiking in Australia I wore a hat with a giant floppy brim to keep my ears and face protected from the sun.

The tops of your ears and back of your neck are highly susceptible to getting burned while on the trail, so either get some sunscreen or wear a hat that keeps them covered.

The same is true for keeping pesky things out of your hair, the sun from burning your ears and face, and keep you a bit cooler.

WHAT KIND OF BACKPACK SHOULD I BRING?

Digging into the ins and outs of backpacks is far beyond the scope of this article. I’d recommend you check out my friend Chase’s Bag Review Youtube channel – guaranteed to be the most fun you’ll ever have learning about bags.

So what would I recommend for a beginner on a hike? The bag you currently have! If you’re going on a short hike, you can start with simply whatever bag you have. The lighter and comfier it is, the better.

Multi-day hikes where you’re living out of your bag, packing up, and building a tent each day – this is beyond the scope of this article. I have rocked a Kelty Coyote bag that I’ve lived out of for months at a time, and have also used on multi-day hikes.

If you have the means and the time, and you’re planning to go on certain hikes, go to an outdoor specialty store, speak with a professional, and get fitted for your body type and type of hike you’re doing!

THE MORAL OF THE STORY: VERSATILITY

If your weather forecast is “75 and sunny,” and you’re hiking for the afternoon through a gradually sloping wooded forest, you can severely limit what you’re bringing with you.

If it’s questionable or looks like things might change during the day, versatility is your best bet – a jacket, pants that can become shorts, a long sleeve shirt that you can take off or roll the sleeves up, etc.

Don’t go out and buy all new stuff until you’re sure hiking is an activity you want to invest in.  Borrow from friends, make do with what you have

Just get started.

BY NOW YOU SHOULD HAVE A ROUGH IDEA OF WHAT YOU WILL BE WEARING! 

In your head you should be saying, “Steve how can you read my mind?!

I just decided:

I’d hike in my current gym sneakers.

I have a pair of gardening pants and tall socks I can wear.

I have a floppy hat.

My new Nerd Fitness t-shirt.

I feel like I’m good to go!

Perfect.

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How Much Water Should I Bring On My Hike?

If there’s ONE thing you should not leave home without, it’s a water container so you can stay hydrated.

“How much water should I be drinking on my hike, Steve?”

Great question. I knew you were smart from the moment you started reading this article.

You should be drinking 1 liter of water every two hours as a rough guideline. Increase this amount if you are hiking in very warm/desert climates.

FAVORITE WATER CONTAINERS:

I’m partial to stainless steel bottles or aluminum bottles over Nalgene or reused plastic bottles, but make do with what you have.  Make sure you bring enough water with you to keep you hydrated through your adventure.

Going on longer hikes? Get yourself a hydration backpack (which can double as your hiking pack!) to transplant water more conveniently.

Not only that, but make sure you have been consuming water before you go hiking so that you’re not starting at a hydration deficit.

Hangovers + early morning hikes – water = bad news bears.

What Gear Should I Bring on My Hike? (Sunscreen, Knives, and First Aid Kits)

If you’re just getting started, I’m going to guess you won’t be climbing to the top of a mountain in Alaska, but rather going on an introductory hike that will help build your confidence and get you rolling.

Here’s what I’d recommend you bring with you on your adventure:

Sunscreen – If it’s sunny outside and you’re hiking through the woods or up a mountain with a cool breeze in your face, you probably won’t be able to tell that your ears and face are getting absolutely torched.  Get yourself some waterproof sweatproof sunscreen (SPF 30 minimum) to cover up those ears, cheeks, and back of your neck.

Bug spray – especially if it’s “that time of the year” in your area where bugs are out in full force.  Nothing worse than coming home to arms and legs covered in bug bites.

First aid kit – Having some first aid stuff with you is a good idea: band-aids and moleskin for blisters and cuts, Neosporin or some type of disinfectant for cuts/scrapes, and maybe a bandage or two just in case. Outdoor stores sell travel first aid kits (as does Amazon), but I’d advise you to make your own (you should have these things in your medicine cabinet anyway – and then you’ll know exactly where everything is!).

Pocket knife – Not essential if you’re in a park, but a good thing to have with you out in the woods so you’re prepared for anything. Like McGyver.

Sunglasses – No need to go blind while out on the trail.  You probably already have sunglasses floating around your house: I’d recommend bringing the $5 ones rather than $250 Ray-Bans.

Cellphone – a phone can help bail you out in case of an emergency, and if you have a smartphone it can multitask as your compass, distance tracker, mapper, and so on. Even if you have a cellphone, bringing a compass or GPS system isn’t a bad idea (unless it’s bright and sunny and you’re good at orienting yourself).

If you’re going on a longer hike, bringing a lightweight phone charger that you can use to charge your phone up quickly is usually pretty easy.

What Food Should I Bring Hiking? What Should I Eat on a Day Hike?

FOOD!

You know, the stuff that keeps us alive.

The answer to this will vary greatly depending on how long you plan on hiking for, the time of day, your love of snacking, so the advice here is going to largely mirror the advice we give in our nutritional posts!

Although by no means a complete list of snacks, this is usually what I like to pack in my bag before a hike:

Nuts – Almonds or walnuts. Great for snacking on, loaded w/ healthy fat and protein. Nut butters are a good healthy fat option too – my favorite is trader Joe’s raw unsalted almond butter. Ingredient: almonds! They are high in calorie content however, so if you are trying to lose weight, don’t do a 10-minute walk and eat 4000 calories worth of nuts. We in the business like to call that “counterproductive.”

Fruit – I throw two or three apples in my bag; apples and nuts mean I’ve pretty much got all of the fat, protein, and carbs I need for my day. Things like bananas, raisins, and other fruit are good options as well – pick based on your personal preference and tastes. Fruit (especially dried fruit) can have lots of sugar and calories, so don’t kid yourself into eating 5000 calories worth of dried fruit and call it healthy!

Beef jerky! Make your own or go with some high-quality store-bought stuff.  Lots of protein, easy to pack, and keeps well. Mmmmmm.

What about trail mix or granola bars? You’d probably think granola bars and trail mix are synonymous with hiking, but I’m actually not a fan of either unless they’re homemade – these products are usually loaded with salt/sugar and processed grains and are pretty damn unhealthy.

If you’re gonna go with trail mix, make your own with dried fruit and raw unsalted nuts. If you DON’T have other options, tossing a few granola bars in the bag isn’t the end of the world.

More food advice here:

Primal Trail Food

A book (optional) – I LOVE READING (more than I love lowercase letters), so I always travel with my Kindle. Although hiking with friends can be fun, I also get a huge thrill out of hiking out to a remote location overlooking a valley or sitting on the edge of a river with a book so that I can spend a few hours getting lost in a story.

If it’s a multi-day hike and you’re avoiding technology, then bringing a dead tree book is worth the extra weight in your bag!

A camera (optional) – Although I have a camera that I travel with, most of the pictures I’ve been taking recently have been done with my iPhone using apps like Camera+ or ProHDR (which I freaking love). Both apps are worth the price.

You don’t need to be a great photographer, just need to capture the moment to look back on fondly as a crotchety old grandpa. Obviously, if you’re a serious photographer, you’ve already planned to pack your DSLR so I won’t get into that.

Seven Hiking Tips for Beginners

KNOW THE LOCAL WILDLIFE! Do a quick search of your hike to know what sorts of critters you’ll encounter on the trail. If you are hiking in bear country or snake country, these are things it’s very important to know. Whether it’s carrying a can of bear mace or knowing what to look for, this can help you prevent serious problems. Also, watch out for wild ostriches.

CLEAN UP, CHECK FOR TICKS – if you’re in a heavily wooded area and carving through the wilderness, check yourself for ticks and make sure you take a shower with hot water and soap immediately when you get home in case you came in contact with any poisonous plants or things like that. I can’t tell you how many times I woke up with a swollen face as a kid because of my hike through poison ivy the day before.

AIM FOR THE HIGH GROUND – I love hiking to tall things: the top of a mountain, the high point in a town, the roof of a building.  It gives you a great halfway point to stop, eat some lunch or dinner, and enjoy the view; plus, you already know exactly how far you need to go on your way down. One piece of advice on going DOWN a steep mountain or a lot of steps: Shorten your stride, and take care to land on the balls of your feet with a bent knee if possible – if you’re landing on your heels for thousands of steps, it can wreak havoc on your knees and joints as there’s no shock absorption. I remember how sore my knees were the day after hiking down Colca Canyon in Peru with my buddy Cash because I didn’t make an effort to soften my steps and take care of my body.

URBAN HIKING – “But Steve I live in a city, I can’t go hiking!” Why the hell not? Load up your backpack, map out a route on Google maps, maybe even find a tall building – avoid the elevator, climb the steps. Or walk until you find a park, sit on a bench and read a book. Sure, it’s not the same as hiking the Rockies, but it will still get your heart pumping and feet moving! Like The Goonies teaches us, adventure can be found in your own backyard with the right attitude!

KEEP TRACK OF IT – If you have an iPhone or Android, download a hiking or running app to keep track of how far you go and how much hiking you do. Although I haven’t been tracking my hikes abroad (I leave my phone in Airplane mode while traveling), I’ve heard great things about RunKeeper and EasyTrails. If you have more apps or suggestions on how to keep track of your hikes, let me know in the comments and I’ll add them here. I personally use a cheap Fitbit Flex 2, which tracks my steps and elevation. Good enough!

GEOCACHING – Great fun can be had while geocaching.  Simply go to the website, track your location, and then decide on which cache you’re going to track down. Think of it as a real-life version of Indiana Jones or Uncharted, minus the Nazis and undead warriors. We geocached around Sydney for a Nerd Fitness meetup, and it was delightful!

GIVE A HOOT, DON’T POLLUTE – Pack it in, pack it out. If you bring anything with you, it better be coming back with you. Don’t leave trash in the woods, and pick up any extra trash you see out there. The wilderness thanks you for your service, citizen!

Not all those who wander are lost (sTART hIKING tODAY)

This article is just a primer, meant to whet your appetite and make you excited to go hiking and exploring the wonderful world around us. 

Here are a few other resources on hiking if you want more information.  Feel free to let me know about more in the comments:

Tips for Primal/Paleo Hiking

Hiking Emergencies on Art of Manliness

American Hiking Society

I challenge you to plan a hike for this upcoming weekend. YES, even if you’re in the opposite hemisphere and it’s really cold out!

Get some great snacks, strap on your shoes, grab a friend, and go explore.

I’d love to hear from you about the place you’re going hiking this weekend.

Leave a comment below and let me know:

Where you’re going.

When you’re going.

And what you’re most excited about!

Promise that you won’t hike pants-less.

Any tips you have for your fellow hikers.

-Steve

PS: Still unsure if you’ll be ready for your big hike? I’ll again remind you of our 1-on-1 Online Coaching Program. We have clients who successfully used the program to train for hiking up large mountains, and we’d love to see if we can help you too!

PPS: Today’s Rebel Hero: Saint, whose success story has inspired hundreds of thousands of people. 8 years since publishing that success story, Saint is now happily married, a father of two, and just built a new swing set for his kids!

Notice that little rock climbing wall? I’m sure his 1-year-old daughter and 3-year-old son (both Rebels already!) will be scaling sheer rock faces in no time. He’s a Rebel hero indeed.

###

photo credit: 77krc Mixed Nuts

All other photos from my Photostream

  Footnotes    ( returns to text)

The dude went hiking alone, got trapped under a rock, and had to cut his own arm off to get free and survive

True story: when I was a little kid, I made myself a little bow and arrow (trying to be like Link) and unknowingly feathered my homemade arrows with poison ivy leaves. My face swelled up for 2 weeks

Not really, please don’t taunt bears while wearing this shirt. You are not invisible. And he/she will eat you. #TheMoreYouKnow

A Beginner’s Guide to Hiking: Everything You Need For Your First Hike! published first on https://dietariouspage.tumblr.com/

[lindafrancois]

A Beginner’s Guide to Hiking: Everything You Need to Know

“It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.” JRR Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings.

I’m going to make a bet with you.

By the end of today’s article, I bet I can convince you to say the following, “Damn Steve! Now I want to go hiking. FINE.”

After all, Hiking is one of the greatest things you can do for your health, both mental and physical:

It’s amazing way to get off your ass and explore your local surroundings.

It requires next to nothing to get started.

It’s a great bonding activity with friends, family, and significant others

It’s a great date idea for the right person!

You already have everything you need to get started.

It’s free. As in, zero dollars.

It’s a great reminder that this world in which we live is pretty amazing.

Our community members love hiking too. In fact, one of our recent success stories specifically cited hiking as one of the fun activities she loved to do to help her lose 50 pounds.

Today I’m going to teach you how to hike with a little help from our furry-footed friends.

By the end of today’s post, my goal is convince you to have picked a trail, picked a date, and identified a fella or gal to join your fellowship (galship?).

I took the above picture while hiking through Killarney National Park in Ireland many years ago, and every time I look at it, I couldn’t help but think of Tolkien’s middle-earth masterpiece, so I apologize (not really) for all of the Lord of the Rings nerdery running throughout this post!

Let’s get you hiking.

Hiking 101: How to Get Started With Hiking

When you think of hiking, you might imagine a bunch of road-tested perma-travelers with oversized backpacks, hiking through epic mountains for weeks upon weeks at a time. 

Or maybe, a pair of hobbits setting out on a worldwide adventure to destroy a ring of awe-inspiring power.

If you’re just beginning your journey to a better lifestyle, just thinking about serious hiking can be enough to keep you inside your comfy hobbit hole.

Although hiking can an epic undertaking, it doesn’t need to be!

It can also be super simple and fun:

A quick jaunt (such a great word, right?) around your local park after work.

Exploring the woods behind your house with your kids on a saturday morning.

A half-day hike with your friends on a fun nature trail.

A full day or overnight hike that also includes camping.

Here’s my definition for hiking: A person (or self-aware robot) exploring their surroundings and their feet are on actual ground. Like, dirt. And grass.

Some might say it needs to be difficult, have a certain elevation change, require a blah blah blah. It literally doesn’t matter.

What matters is that you go outside and do something you wouldn’t have done otherwise.

Here in the Nerd Fitness Rebellion, hikers would fall into the Adventurer class.

If you’re looking for a fun “cardio” activity and want to exercise in a way that’s exciting, hiking is a great way to get your legs, feet, and body used to strenuous activity.

You get to pick your speed and difficulty, you can always find a way the right amount of challenge for you.

HIKING101: 5 STEPS TO PLAN OUT YOUR ADVENTURE

1) Decide how long you have to hike.  This is a beginner’s guide to hiking, we’re not looking to hike the Appalachian Trail. Instead, we want to start with  trails that can be done in less than a day, that won’t require you to pack a tent, or bring extra change of clothes.  Pick a hike based on how much time you have – do you have the entire Sunday? Or do you just have a few hours on a Tuesday afternoon? It took Frodo and Sam 6 months to get to Mordor, but you probably don’t have that much time.

However, if you DID want to “walk to Mordor,” I got you covered there too. You’re welcome!

2) Decide if you’ll be hiking solo or with a friend/group – I love hiking solo – it’s mobile meditation for me.  However, it’s also more dangerous should anything happen while you’re out on the trail! If you’re heading into the wilderness, I’d recommend buddying up with a friend or your significant other for your hike. It’s the perfect bonding opportunity. This is especially true if they have more hiking experience or they know the area that you’re hiking in.

3) Determine your level – if you are a hiking newbie and horribly out of shape, sending yourself out on an eight hour hike through the unmapped wilderness is incredibly unintelligent. And as your mom has probably told you before, “I thought you were smarter than that.”

Start slow, and pick places around your town that will allow you to stop when necessary and get back to your car or home quickly. No need to be a hero; it’s always better to come back excited and say “wow that was easier than I expected!” than to realize you’re six hours from home and out of steam. Well, being a hero is cool. But not THAT kind of hero.

4) Pick your hiking location – Keep it simple! Go to AllTrails.com, put in your zip code, find your hiking trail!

Or pull up Google Maps and look for big green plots of land. We call those “parks.” Google the park name, learn about it, and decide if that’s where you want to go. Do not over complicate this step. Just get started.

Ask your active, adventurous friends or coworkers if they know any good spots.

The world is FULL of hiking trails and awesomeness – you just need to know where to look.

5) Regardless of where you are going, let somebody else know where are when – if you are out hiking alone, take the time to email or call somebody and let him know that you’ll be hiking and when you expect to be back.

We don’t want to hear about any 127 Hours[1] stories on NF…that would make playing video games way more difficult.

You don’t need to tell them the brand of your underwear (please tell me you’re wearing underwear) or how many almonds you’re bringing, but let them know the important details so if they don’t hear back from you by a certain time they know to alert the proper authorities.

So right now, you should have answers to the following questions:

How much time you can dedicate to hiking.

Who you will be hiking with.

Your level of experience

Using AllTrails.com or GoogleMaps to pick your hiking location.

Who you will tell about your hiking experience.

HIking Footwear: What to Wear on your Feet Hiking!

This is simple: stilettos, your favorite mini skirt, a fishnet halter top, and a vest made out of raw meat. You’re welcome!

In all seriousness, I’m a big fan of being comfortable without breaking the bank. Like, you probably already have most of the clothing you need to go hiking.

WHAT SHOES SHOULD I WEAR TO HIKE IN?

We cover footwear extensively in our healthy feet article, but I’ll cover shoes specifically in the case of hiking here, but we at Nerd Fitness are huge fan of Merrell products – Merrell shoes of various types have treated me well for the past decade.

Just don’t a lack of quality hiking boots keep you from a hike. If you’re concerned, pick an easy paced hike with your current shoes to be safe and ramp up when you can ramp up your gear!

Some people hike the Appalachian Trail in their bare feet (must be part-Hobbit), so whatever you do: don’t let your footwear choice keep you from getting started. Just make sure you break your shoes in and take them on test drives! Don’t take the tags off a new pair of shoes and then go on a multi-day hike – that’s a recipe for blisters and a miserable time.

Okay, let’s look at our feet. 

Now that we’ve done that, let’s look at some shoe options:

LEVEL ONE: Hiking shoes – “hiking shoes” are great if you’re going to be doing simple day hikes or hiking occasionally: they have good grip on the bottom, give you enough support, but aren’t too heavy that they are a hindrance.

Here are my favorite options if you in the market for some new hiking shoes:

Merrell Vent Hiking Shoe

Merrell Trail Glove 4 (Men) – I have the blue ones. They rock.

Merrell Trail Glove 4 (women)Oh what’s that? “Steve I don’t have hiking shoes! Is this the end of the world?” Well, do you have any sort of athletic shoe? Depending on the grip on the bottom, they could be decently okay for you to get started with when it comes to a basic hike.If sneakers are your only option, lace em up, pick a beginner hike, and see how they do. Just be careful on slippery surfaces – your kicks might not give you the grip won’t give you the grip you need to get over them.

LEVEL TWO – Hiking boots – I don’t hike enough or do enough multi-day hikes to justify the cost of hiking boots, but again I would point to Merrell boots if you’re in the market.

“Why boots over shoes, Steve?” 

Although many prefer trail shoes (like yours truly), I can absolutely see the value in a great pair of hiking boots if you’re going on a serious hike, traveling for multiple days, or more. They have more ankle support, thicker tread, thicker shoes, and provide your feet with significantly more protection.

REI has a great article helping you pick between Trail shoes and Trail boots. My advice? Start with what you currently have before deciding whether or not to invest in big boots. Once you build up the habit of hiking and decide you want to make it a bigger part of your life, you can make the investment.

My advice? If you are going to buy boots, go to a professional store, get fitted properly, and then break them in over many weeks before going out on a trail.

WEIRD BUT FUN FOR SIMPLE HIKES: Vibram FiveFingers – I hiked all around the globe, in various situations, wearing my Vibrams for close to 4 years. They made me feel like a ninja monkey, and a hobbit. I got weird looks, but something just felt right about being able to feel the contours of the ground beneath me. I will say, when hiking in Vibrams it can be easier to twist an ankle when stepping on a root or rock, stepping on sharp rocks can hurt, so I found myself watching my feet much more than expected.

These days, I’m much more of a trail shoe kind of guy, but some still swear by Vibrams!

If you’re in the market for buying new boots, this quick video is a good primer:

WHAT SOCKS SHOULD YOU WEAR?

If you’re wearing boots or sneakers, you want to wear socks that aren’t going to give you blisters or make your feet all sweaty and gross.

Depending on how long the hike is, how serious you are about hiking, and your budget, you can look into merino-wool socks.

Like the rest of your outfit, what you wear on your feet will largely be dependent on a few things:

Weather! Are you hiking in the a forest and it’s 72 degrees out? Or are you hiking up the side of the mountain in cold conditions?

Shoes! Are you in lightweight hiking shoes, lightweight hiking socks for the win. Hiking in big boots in cold months? Big thick warm socks are almost a requirement.

Budget! Are you shopping for specific socks? Tall or short? Great. If you are brand new to hiking, just wear whatever athletic socks you wear while exercising.

What’s the environment? If you’re hiking through grass, tall plants, etc. I’d go with tall socks (with your pants possibly tucked into them too). You’re not out there to win a fashion show!

Here’s Switchback Travel’s best hiking socks of 2018, and here’s a great article from Art of Manliness on proper feet care after a hike or ruck! 

What to Wear While Hiking: Clothing

SHOULD YOU WEAR PANTS OR SHORTS?

Pro tip: Don’t go pantsless through the wilderness. I cannot stress this enough.

The real advice when it comes to pants/shorts is heavily dependent upon your environment. If it’s going to be cold, shorts might keep you shivering. If it’s going to be hot, pants might get too uncomfortable.

Jeans? Ehhhhh. Sure. ONLY if its going to be a comfortable temperature and you have no other option. Being sweaty and hot while wearing jeans isn’t very fun.

I’m a big fan of my nerd pants – the Columbia Silver Ridge pants. Although they look kind of goofy, they’re incredibly light weight, dry quickly, and can transform from pants to shorts in mere seconds!

Traveling through woods, not sure what you’ll encounter? Wear lightweight pants. I am horribly allergic to poison ivy and who knows what else, so I like to keep as much of my body covered while hiking to make sure I don’t make contact with anything I’m allergic to. [2]

WHAT TYPE OF SHIRT SHOULD YOU WEAR? 

My favorite options are merino wool long shirts and t-shirts: they’re light, wick away moisture, hide odors, and breathe well – though you will be paying top dollar for them.

If you’re just starting out, pick an old t-shirt and rock that – you can work on optimizing performance once you’ve got a few hikes under your belt.

Shameless plug: the Nerd Fitness t-shirt does hold up quite well to wear and tear over long periods of time – I’ve been rocking my shirt in heavy rotation on lots of hikes for years. It can also withstand gamma rays and makes you invisible.[3]

if you’re on a multi-day hike in various conditions then having lightweight merino wool shirts you can layer and not need to wash would be great. But just going for a hike in the woods in your back yard? Whatever you would wear while running, training, etc. Aka whatever won’t chafe!

SHOULD YOU BRING A JACKET?

I’ve been wearing this Mountain Hardware jacket on most of my hikes and it has been awesome (10 years and counting) – very lightweight so packing it isn’t a hassle, waterproof so it keeps me dry when it rains, and heavy enough to block the wind to keep me warm when it’s chilly.

Don’t go out of your way to buy a new jacket if you have a decent wind breaker, but if you’re going to be doing a lot of hiking or you’re in the market for a new coat, here’s my advice: go to a local store and try out all of the jackets until you find one you like.

Once you find the perfect jacket, go home and check online (you can sometimes find the same jacket for up to 60% less) – then, ask the local store if they’ll price match or just buy it online.

SHOULD YOU WEAR A HAT?

You should definitely bring a hat. I’m usually rocking my Nerd Fitness hat or my Red Sox hat (booo Yankees), but while hiking in Australia I wore a hat with a giant floppy brim to keep my ears and face protected from the sun.

The tops of your ears and back of your neck are highly susceptible to getting burned while on the trail, so either get some sunscreen or wear a hat that keeps them covered.

The same is true for keeping pesky things out of your hair, the sun from burning your ears and face, and keep you a bit cooler.

WHAT KIND OF BACKPACK SHOULD YOU BRING?

Digging into the ins and outs of backpacks is far beyond the scope of this article. I’d recommend you check out my friend Chase’s Bag Review Youtube channel – guaranteed to be the most fun you’ll ever have learning about bags.

So what would I recommend for a beginner on a hike? The bag you currently have! If you’re going on a short hike, you can start with simply whatever bag you have. The lighter and more comfy it is, the better.

Multi-day hikes where you’re living out of your bag, packing up and building a tent each day – this is beyond the scope of this article. I have rocked a Kelty Coyote bag that I’ve lived out of for months at a time, and have also used on multi-day hikes.

If you have the means and the time, and you’re planning to go on certain hikes, go to a outdoor speciality store, speak with a professional, and get fitted for your body type and type of hike you’re doing!

THE MORAL OF THE STORY: VERSATILITY

If your weather forecast is “75 and sunny,” and you’re hiking for the afternoon through a gradually sloping wooded forest, you can severely limit what you’re bringing with you.

If it’s questionable or looks like things might change during the day, versatility is your best bet – a jacket, pants that can become shorts, a long sleeve shirt that you can take off or roll the sleeves up, etc.

Don’t go out and buy all new stuff until you’re sure hiking is an activity you want to invest in.  Borrow from friends, make do with what you have

Just get started.

BY NOW YOU SHOULD HAVE A ROUGH IDEA OF WHAT YOU WILL BE WEARING! 

In your head you should be saying, “Steve how can you read my mind?!

I just decided:

I’d hike in my current gym sneakers.

I have a pair of gardening pants and tall socks I can wear.

I have a floppy hat.

My new Nerd Fitness t-shirt.

I feel like I’m good to go!

Perfect.

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How Much Water Should You Bring On Your Hike?

If there’s ONE thing you should not leave home without, it’s a water container so you can stay hydrated.

“How much water should I be drinking on my hike, Steve?”

Great question. I knew you were smart from the moment you started reading this article.

You should be drinking 1 liter of water every two hours as a rough guideline. Increase this amount if you are hiking in very warm/desert climates.

FAVORITE WATER CONTAINERS:

I’m partial to stainless steel bottles or aluminum bottles over Nalgene or reused plastic bottles, but make do with what you have.  Make sure you bring enough water with you to keep you hydrated through your adventure.

Going on longer hikes? Get yourself a hydration backpack (which can double as your hiking pack!) to transplant water more conveniently.

Not only that, but make sure you have been consuming water before you go hiking so that you’re not starting at a hydration deficit.

Hangovers + early morning hikes – water = bad news bears.

Important Gear to Bring On Your Hike.

If you’re just getting started, I’m going to guess you won’t be climbing to the top of a mountain in Alaska, but rather going on an introductory hike that will help build your confidence and get you rolling.

Here’s what I’d recommend you bring with you on your adventure:

Sunscreen – If it’s sunny outside and you’re hiking through the woods or up a mountain with a cool breeze in your face, you probably won’t be able to tell that your ears and face are getting absolutely torched.  Get yourself some waterproof sweatproof sunscreen (SPF 30 minimum) to cover up those ears, cheeks, and back of your neck.

Bug spray – especially if it’s “that time of the year” in your area where bugs are out in full force.  Nothing worse than coming home to arms and legs covered in bug bites.

First aid kit – Having some first aid stuff with you is a good idea: band-aids and moleskin for blisters and cuts, Neosporin or some type of disinfectant for cuts/scrapes, and maybe a bandage or two just in case. Outdoor stores sell travel first aid kits (as does Amazon), but I’d advise you to make your own (you should have these things in your medicine cabinet anyways – and then you’ll know exactly where everything is!).

Pocket knife – Not essential if you’re in a park, but a good thing to have with you out in the woods so you’re prepared for anything. Like McGyver.

Sunglasses – No need to go blind while out on the trail.  You probably already have sunglasses floating around your house: I’d recommend bringing the $5 ones rather than $250 Ray-Bans.

Cellphone – a phone can help bail you out in case of emergency, and if you have a smart phone it can multitask as your compass, distance tracker, mapper, and so on. Even if you have a cellphone, bringing a compass or GPS system isn’t a bad idea (unless it’s bright and sunny and you’re good at orienting yourself).

If you’re going on a longer hike, bringing a lightweight phone charger that you can use to charge your phone up quickly is usually pretty easy.

Great Hiking Snacks and FOod!

FOOD!

You know, the stuff that keeps us alive.

The answer to this will vary greatly depending on how long you plan on hiking for, the time of day, your love of snacking, so the advice here is going to largely mirror the advice we give in our nutritional posts!

Although by no means a complete list of snacks, this is usually what I like to pack in my bag before a hike:

Nuts – Almonds or walnuts. Great for snacking on, loaded w/ healthy fat and protein.

Nut butters are a good healthy fat option too – my favorite is trader Joe’s raw unsalted almond butter. Ingredient: almonds!

They are high in calorie content however, so if you are trying to lose weight, don’t do a 10 minute walk and eat 4000 calories worth of nuts.

We in the business like to call that “counterproductive.”

Fruit – I throw two or three apples in my bag; apples and nuts mean I’ve pretty much got all of the fat, protein, and carbs I need for my day.

Things like bananas, raisins, and other fruit are good options as well – pick based on your personal preference and tastes.

Fruit (especially dried fruit) can have lots of sugar and calories, so don’t kid yourself into eating 5000 calories worth of dried fruit and call it healthy!

Beef jerky! Make your own or go with some high quality store bought stuff.  Lots of protein, easy to pack, and keeps well. Mmmmmm.

What about trail mix or granola bars? You’d probably think granola bars and trail mix are synonymous with hiking, but I’m actually not a fan of either unless they’re homemade – these products are usually loaded with salt/sugar and processed grains and are pretty damn unhealthy.

If you’re gonna go with trail mix, make your own with dried fruit and raw unsalted nuts. If you DON’T have other options, tossing a few granola bars in the bag isn’t the end of the world.

More food advice here:

Primal Trail Food

A book (optional) – I LOVE READING (more than I love lowercase letters), so I always travel with my Kindle. Although hiking with friends can be fun, I also get a huge thrill out of hiking out to a remote location overlooking a valley or sitting on the edge of a river with a book so that I can spend a few hours getting lost in a story.

If it’s a multi-day hike and you’re avoiding technology, then bringing a dead tree book is worth the extra weight in your bag!

A camera (optional) – Although I have a camera that I travel with, most of the pictures I’ve been taking recently have been done with my iPhone using apps like Camera+ or ProHDR (which I freaking love). Both apps are worth the price.

You don’t need to be a great photographer, just need to capture the moment to look back on fondly as a crotchety old grandpa. Obviously if you’re a serious photographer, you’ve already planned to pack your DSLR so I won’t get into that.

Tips and Tricks

**KNOW THE LOCAL WILDLIFE!** Do a quick search of your hike to know what sorts of critters you’ll encounter on the trail. If you are hiking in bear country or snake country, these are things it’s very important to know. Whether it’s carrying a can of bear mace or knowing what to look for, this can help you prevent serious problems.

Also watch out for wild ostriches.

**CLEAN UP, CHECK FOR TICKS** – if you’re in a heavily wooded area and carving through the wilderness, check yourself for ticks and make sure you take a shower with hot water and soap immediately when you get home in case you came in contact with any poisonous plants or things like that. I can’t tell you how many times I woke up with a swollen face as a kid because of my hike through poison ivy the day before.

Aim for the high ground – I love hiking to tall things: the top of a mountain, the high point in a town, the roof of a building.  It gives you a great halfway point to stop, eat some lunch or dinner, and enjoy the view; plus, you already know exactly how far you need to go on your way down.

One piece of advice on going DOWN a steep mountain or a lot of steps: Shorten your stride, and take care to land on the balls of your feet with a bent knee if possible – if you’re landing on your heels for thousands of steps, it can wreak havoc on your knees and joints as there’s no shock absorption.

I remember how sore my knees were the day after hiking down Colca Canyon in Peru with my buddy Cash because I didn’t make an effort to soften my steps and take care of my body.

Urban Hiking – “But Steve I live in a city, I can’t go hiking!” Why the hell not? Load up your backpack, map out a route on Google maps, maybe even find a tall building – avoid the elevator, climb the steps.

Or walk until you find a park, sit on a bench and read a book. Sure, it’s not the same as hiking the Rockies, but it will still get your heart pumping and feet moving!

Like The Goonies teaches us, adventure can be found in your own backyard with the right attitude!

Keep track of it – If you have an iPhone or Android, download a hiking or running app to keep track of how far you go and how much hiking you do.

Although I haven’t been tracking my hikes abroad (I leave my phone in Airplane mode while traveling), I’ve heard great things about RunKeeper and EasyTrails. If you have more apps or suggestions on how to keep track of your hikes, let me know in the comments and I’ll add them here.

I personally use a cheap Fitbit Flex 2, which tracks my steps and elevation. Good enough!

Geocaching – Great fun can be had while geocaching.  Simply go to the website, track your location, and then decide on which cache you’re going to track down. Think of it like a real life version of Indiana Jones or Uncharted, minus the Nazis and undead warriors. We geocached around Sydney for a Nerd Fitness meetup, and it was delightful!

Give a hoot, don’t pollute – Pack it in, pack it out. If you bring anything with you, it better be coming back with you. Don’t leave trash in the woods, and pick up any extra trash you see out there. The wilderness thanks you for your service, citizen!

Not all those who wander are lost

This article is just a primer, meant to whet your appetite and make you excited to go hiking and exploring the wonderful world around us. 

Here are a few other resources on hiking if you want more information.  Feel free to let me know about more in the comments:

Tips for Primal/Paleo Hiking

Hiking Emergencies on Art of Manliness

American Hiking Society

I challenge you to plan a hike for this upcoming weekend. YES, even if you’re in the opposite hemisphere and it’s really cold out!

Get some great snacks, strap on your shoes, grab a friend, and go explore.

I’d love to hear from you about the place you’re going hiking this weekend.

Leave a comment below and let me know:

Where you’re going.

When you’re going.

And what you’re most excited about!

Promise that you won’t hike pants-less.

Any tips you have for your fellow hikers.

Leave a comment before July 6th, 2018 at 11:59PM, we’ll pick two winners at random and send them their own free NF Shirt!

-Steve

PS: We’re celebrating “Outsiders Month” here at Nerd Fitness, so if you have pictures of yourself rocking your Nerd Fitness Gear outdoors doing something epic, send a photo to [email protected] so I can feature you!

PPS: Today’s Rebel Hero: Saint, whose success story has inspired hundreds of thousands of people. 8 years since publishing that success story, Saint is now happily married, a father of two, and just built a new swing set for his kids!

Notice that little rock climbing wall? I’m sure his 1 year old daughter and 3 year old son (both Rebels already!) will be scaling sheer rock faces in no time. He’s a Rebel hero indeed.

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photo credit: 77krc Mixed Nuts

All other photos from my Photostream

  Footnotes    ( returns to text)

The dude went hiking alone, got trapped under a rock, and had to cut his own arm off to get free and survive

True story: when I was a little kid, I made myself a little bow and arrow (trying to be like Link) and unknowingly feathered my homemade arrows with poison ivy leaves. My face swelled up for 2 weeks

Not really, please don’t taunt bears while wearing this shirt. You are not invisible. And he/she will eat you. #TheMoreYouKnow

A Beginner’s Guide to Hiking: Everything You Need to Know published first on https://dietariouspage.tumblr.com/