100 days of mark
+18, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
pairing: mark x fem!reader
synopsis: just before your wedding, karina convinces you to go on a 100 day trip to europe where you meet mark lee.
warnings: unprotected sex; p*ssy eating, doggy, missionary (guys, always. ALWAYS PROTECT!).
a/n: 1) jonas is fictional. 2) do you need a part 2 of this? then pls let me know ✍️🏻
"I'll miss you so much," you murmured, clinging tighter to your fiancé under the blanket. The dimmed light of the room reflected off your face, your cheeks almost crushed against your fiancé's chest. You felt his lips in your hair. "Me too, sweetheart," he replied in almost a whisper.
You and Jonas had been engaged for 6 months. You met at a software development company where you both worked, 2 years ago. He had much more professional experience than you and introduced you to the workflow. Right from the start, he fell for you.
He was taller than you, with a sweet smile, doe-like eyes, and a muscular build. He was always kind to you, mostly taking care of you when you felt misunderstood or rejected by others. With him, you could share your sorrows, whether they were work-related or personal. You knew he was always there for you.
Three months after your first acquaintance, he confessed his love, and after eight months, he proposed. He was quite determined... You knew everything was moving too fast, but you surrendered to him. That's just how it was in your relationship: Jonas knew what was right and guided you through life, and you trusted him completely. With him, you felt like a winner.
Karina, your childhood friend, watched as your life changed rapidly. You were 25 and on the verge of becoming a married woman. She was happy for you, yet at the same time, she was sad that she wouldn't see you as often as in the old days after the wedding. She believed Jonas wouldn't allow it.
Naturally, you found the idea absurd. Jonas wasn't the type to forbid you things or limit you, but maybe Karina wasn't entirely wrong... You feared that after the wedding, you wouldn't be able to experience your old freedom anymore.
So, you came up with the idea to join your old scholarship group from university on a 100-day trip to Europe: London, Vienna, and Brussels. Jonas - and especially his mother - were initially skeptical about this idea, but somehow, you managed to convince him at least.
"Did you remember your ticket? And you have provisions too? Very good... Ah, what about your phone credit, do you have enough?" Jonas pressed, as he checked the necessary documents for your flight.
Karina rolled her eyes as she hurried along beside you and Jonas. You kept nodding and assured Jonas that you were perfectly prepared.
"Take care of yourself, love, and call me as soon as you arrive at the hotel," he reminded you with care. You gave him an affirming smile and a final kiss before heading off with Karina to your plane.
"Finally, you can breathe again. It's okay to still feel sad, but as soon as we're off the plane, you're switching off from all that stress, promise?" By stress, she meant Jonas. You rolled your eyes, "Yeah, whatever."
Karina glanced at your hand and frowned, "And take off that stupid ring," she noted. "Are you crazy? I can't just take off my engagement ring!" you protested. Karina sighed, "You can't fully enjoy the trip if you're constantly reminded of Jonas every time you see your ring. These might be the last 100 days we spend together as friends. Take it off," Karina urged encouragingly.
You felt uneasy about it, but ultimately you followed Karina's advice. After all, these were indeed the last times you would spend unmarried with your best friend, and a little break from thinking about your relationship might do you good.
Day 1 to 33 in London
A trip organized by a scholarship foundation is not quite a real vacation at the end of the day. That means you sometimes get assignments to explore the history of the city and present it to the other participants in the form of a lecture, or to participate in discussion rounds.
Despite this, the trip was a lot of fun for you because it didn't really feel like school. It was much more relaxed, and you weren't obliged to do anything you weren't interested in.
In the first few weeks, solid groups formed. There were a total of 40 participants. You and Karina were initially always assigned to the same people during group activities: Johnny Suh, Mark Lee, Nakamoto Yuta, and Wendy.
Therefore, it was no surprise that you continued to stick together in the following days. Most people were quite likable and easy-going. The evenings were always full of laughter, fun, and joy. You also met a few times just the six of you without the other participants, which helped you get to know each other better.
With Johnny, Mark, and Yuta, it was never boring. These guys always managed to make you laugh. You found it particularly funny when Mark became the center of the jokes. He was such a naive, genuine boy that you always had to laugh at, even when he did nothing special. Just the fact that he would burst into laughter at every little thing Johnny did was hilarious to you.
You even created a group chat, which was also always filled with laughter and silliness.
Mark: dude, I'm serious ㅠㅠㅠㅠ
Wendy: you're in the same room
Wendy: but can't manage
Wendy: to communicate
Wendy: ´_´
You: hahahhaa
Johnny: the thing is
Yuta: I'm telling you
Johnny: we don't want to go
Yuta: I can go
Johnny: -_-
You: hahahhaa
Karina: ahhahahaha
Mark: soooo?!
Wendy: okay okay
Wendy: who wants
Wendy: to accompany Mark?
Wendy: not me
Yuta: ME!
Johnny: nope
You: I can go too:)
Karina: too exhausted
Yuta: yesss, so Mark, y/n, and me??
You: okay:)
Mark: 👍🏻
"Geez, what’s taking him so long?" Mark muttered as you both waited outside for Yuta. It was 11:11 PM, Mark couldn't sleep and wanted to buy something to drink at the hotel's café.
By chance, you couldn't sleep either and didn't mind the idea. Mark sighed as he read the message on his phone, "Yuta canceled." You nodded, "Then it's just the two of us. Come on, before they close the café," you called out and started walking ahead.
You had never been alone with Mark before. It felt odd to be with him without Johnny and Yuta around. You got a cup of cappuccino while Mark ordered a cup of black coffee. "You know that's going to keep you up even longer, right?" you suggested. Mark shrugged, "I can't sleep anyway," he clarified. You both thanked the waiter. "Why not? Are you suffering from insomnia?" you asked. "I'm not sure. Since college, I haven't been able to sleep properly."
Mark looked at you for a long moment, "It's more than just insomnia. Sometimes... sometimes my mind is just too loud. Too many thoughts, too many worries keeping me awake at night." His voice was softer, more reflective.
You took a sip of your cappuccino, letting the warmth spread within you as you studied Mark. The contrast to the Mark you knew was striking. The ever-cheerful and carefree boy in front of you suddenly seemed vulnerable, almost fragile. "I never got the impression that something was weighing on you so heavily," you said gently.
Mark forced a small smile, more sad than joyful. "Well, guess, I'm good at hiding it."
You pondered over Mark's words, wondering what could be troubling him so deeply. Just as you were about to delve deeper into your thoughts, Mark broke the silence.
"You know what's weird? I read somewhere that if you can't sleep, it means…um… you're awake in someone else's dreams. Well… Maybe someone is constantly dreaming about me, and that's… y’know… why I can't sleep. Imagine it's a total stranger taking me on weird adventures in their dreams," Mark said with a crooked grin.
For a moment, you couldn't believe he had just said that. You stared at him, unsure whether to laugh or shake your head.
"Are you serious?" you couldn't help but ask, trying to suppress your grin. "So you're saying, somewhere out there, someone dreams about you every night, taking you on imaginary adventures, and that's why you can't sleep?"
Mark's smile widened as he realized how absurd his statement must have sounded. "Well, when you put it like that, it sounds pretty crazy, right? But…. who knows, maybe it's true.", his voice cracked.
Both of you burst into liberating laughter. What was going through his head to come up with such nonsense?
You didn't know why, but you liked his quirky ways. It was like a breath of fresh air to talk to someone who could freely express his thoughts without worrying about how they might come across.
The next day, a trip to Regent's Park, one of London's Royal Parks, was on the agenda. You were quite excited to visit this place known for its beautiful gardens, expansive green spaces, and sports facilities. You, Karina, Johnny, and Mark naturally formed a group as usual.
The day was sunny and warm, perfect for an outing. Mark was unusually energetic and seemed to particularly enjoy the sunny day today. He was almost hopping with excitement and made charming comments about everything encountered on his way.
"Yo, see that dog over there? We had one like that at home when I was a kid. They're known to be brave. Kind of crazy, because they don't look brave... Reminds me a bit of myself," Mark said, pointing to a dachshund chasing a squirrel.
"Dude, if you're already identifying with animals, what kind of bird would you be then? A parrot does not sound bad, right?" Johnny teased.
During your walk through Regent's Park, you encountered a particularly lively squirrel that approached you curiously. Mark looked fascinated and began talking to the little creature,
"Hey buddy, what's up? Come here, buddy," as if it would understand him. He didn't notice that he started to dance with his feet unconsciously while his entire focus was on the squirrel.
You watched him from behind and couldn't help but smile when you noticed Mark's unconscious foot movements. You quietly pointed it out to the others – Johnny and Karina – who also couldn't help but giggle as they watched him.
While Mark was still occupied with the squirrel, you carefully stepped closer behind him, directly into his field of vision, and began to mimic his foot movements.
When Mark turned around and saw you directly in front of him, imitating him with a charming smile, he burst into a heartfelt laughter, delighted and surprised by your attention.
However, the sudden closeness and your smile made him momentarily nervous, which he hid behind a smile. Despite the nervousness that arose within him, he wasn't overwhelmed by it; he shook his head laughing and continued on.
During the days in London, your bond with Mark deepened increasingly.
It seemed as if you were magnetically drawn to each other, whether you were participating in a guided tour through London's historic quarters, relaxing in one of its numerous parks, or exploring the local cuisine in small, hidden restaurants.
It had almost become a matter of course that you always sat next to each other; your places were always side by side.
During group meals, you instinctively sought out Mark's proximity. You shared dishes, tasted from each other's plates, and exchanged glances and smiles that was sus to others.
You believed you had found a good male friend who understood you just as well as Karina did, maybe even more. And you had never had a male friend before, so the whole friendship thing with Mark was entirely new to you.
Jonas texted and called you regularly to ask how you were doing and what new things you had seen or learned. He mostly talked about his day-to-day life but also listened to you now and then. You decided not to tell him about Mark, unsure how Jonas would take the news that you got along so well with another man. Besides, it was unclear when you would see Mark again after the 100-day trip was over.
In the evenings, when the group settled into cozy pubs to wind down the day, you and Mark often found yourselves in deep, personal conversations.
The topic unexpectedly turned to fairy tales, perhaps inspired by the historical settings of London you had explored earlier. Mark, with a thoughtful look in his eyes, leaned back and played with the rim of his glass.
"You know," he began, choosing his words carefully, "fairy tales have this incredible way of fascinating us, no matter how old we are. They speak of courage, adventure, and, of course, love. But I…um.. often wonder, like… how much of that is really transferable to our real lives."
You nodded as you absorbed his words. "Fairy tales have always fascinated me. The romance, the heroics, the happy endings... but somehow, they seem too good to be true. Real life is more complicated, unpredictable."
There was a brief pause as both of you took a sip of your drinks, contemplative about what had been said.
Then, with a crooked smile you had come to like about Mark because it always brought a certain lightness, he posed an unexpected question.
"Do you believe in the prince on a white horse?" His voice was gentle, almost cautious, as if he didn't want to stir your innermost feelings.
You paused for a moment, taken aback by the directness of the question.
"I'd like to believe that there's such a thing as a 'prince,' yes. But not in the literal sense. More like someone who's there for you, who understands and accepts you as you are. Someone you can team up with."
Mark's eyes lit up as he heard your words, and it seemed like he had wanted to hear exactly that. But then, almost hesitantly, he asked another question that changed the atmosphere.
"Have you ever thought that there could be such a 'prince' in your life, or might be?" His voice was softer now, almost whispering, as if he was intruding too closely.
This question caught you off guard, and for a moment, you felt as if the ground beneath you was giving way. Your heartbeat quickened, and you felt a knot forming in your stomach. Thoughts swirled through your head—Jonas, your engagement, the expectations, and the uncertain future.
You tried to keep your emotions in check. Your gaze lowered, and you nervously played with the rim of your own glass. The silence between you was oppressive.
Finally, with a voice quieter than intended, you shook your head. "I... I'm not sure." Your words were a whisper, almost lost in the noise of the pub. "I thought I might be certain... but now, I'm not so sure, to be honest."
Mark's expression shifted from curious to contemplative, perhaps even concerned. He leaned in closer, his presence strangely comforting. "It's okay not to know everything," he said softly, finishing the alcohol in his glass in one gulp.
The days in London flew by, and with each passing day, the bond between you two grew stronger, woven from shared experiences, shared laughter, and quiet moments of closeness.
On the evening after another eventful day in London, the group gathered in a cozy cabin, somewhat secluded, to wind down the evening. The atmosphere was lively, with music, laughter, and the sound of glasses clinking. You played various games, from card games to truth or dare, and everyone seemed to enjoy the moment to the fullest.
Mark, in the midst of one of the games, suddenly became the center of a challenging task that led him to sing spontaneously. His voice, surprisingly soft and emotional, filled the room, and his eyes half-closed as he immersed himself in the song.
In that moment, as you saw him like this - vulnerable, authentic, and completely in his element - you felt your heart beat faster for the first time. It was as if the world around you fell silent for a moment, and all that remained was the melody of his voice. An unfamiliar twinge shot through your stomach.
Without really understanding why, you suddenly felt the urge to leave the room, to escape the loud voices and laughter. You quietly retreated to your room and sat on your bed, gazing out the window into the night sky. The stars twinkled as if they were harboring a secret that was simmering inside you.
Your grasp on your phone, an attempt to cling to the familiar, led you through the gallery of shared moments with Jonas. Yet, as you scrolled through the photos, you felt a strange distance from these memories, as if they were part of another life. The images no longer seemed capable of filling the emerging void that Mark's unexpected performance had left in you.
On the last evening of your stay in London, the group decided to come together once more to drink, play, and fittingly conclude the time you had spent together. The mood was lively and cheerful, a perfect ending to the unforgettable days you had shared.
During the evening, as music played and the group was in high spirits, the idea suddenly came up that everyone should take a turn dancing. Naturally, you were chosen.
At first, you hesitated, as you weren't usually one to take center stage. But the others, led by Karina, cheered you on with shouts and encouraging calls. Even Mark's expression, full of anticipation and an infectious smile, gave you the final push you needed.
Finally, with a deep breath and a tingling feeling of excitement, you stood up. The song "Nobody Knows" by KISS OF LIFE was playing. Thankfully, you could dance the choreography from start to end and were even quite good at it, having danced extensively in your past. You began to dance, initially with hesitation, but with every move, you became more confident. Your movements started to become more sensual and alluring.
Mark, who had been cheerful and boisterous until now, felt as if he had been struck by the sight. Each of your fluid movements enchanted him, making his heart race. A dry feeling spread in his throat as he tried to hide his reaction from the others. The way you moved to the music was mesmerizing, and he found it increasingly difficult to look away from you and your body. He suddenly saw you in a completely different light and was scared of the feelings and desires that had been stirred within him.
As the dance ended, the energy in the room was electrifying. The group stood up, cheering and applauding, impressed by your unexpected performance. Mark, forcing himself back to reality, began to clap slowly, nodding in appreciation while he tried to sort his thoughts and emotions. His heart was still beating faster than usual, evidence of the effect you had on him.
You, now back in your seat, tried to calm your breathing and ignore the rising blush on your cheeks.
Your eyes met Mark's. You noticed that his expression had suddenly changed, and his gaze seemed to penetrate deeply into you. Without knowing why, it sparked an inexplicable warmth within you that you relished. At the same time, you felt proud of yourself for having such an effect on him.
Days 34 to 66 in Vienna
As the group arrived in Vienna, a new chapter of your European adventure began.
The city, with its rich history, magnificent buildings, and cozy coffee houses, provided a perfect backdrop for deepening the bond between you and Mark.
You felt freer in Vienna than ever before. You could be yourself, without restraint, and Mark seemed to appreciate every facet of your personality. It was as if you could unleash your inner child in his presence, without fear of rejection or judgment. Something you hadn't experienced in a long time.
Since meeting Jonas, you had been trying hard to stay on his level, to be mature and not disappoint the image he had built of himself. Vienna unleashed the exact opposite in you. Mark, for his part, just went along with it, his lightness and humor often made you forget there was a world outside your little bubble.
On a rainy evening in Vienna, the group decided to gather in the cozy lobby of their hostel to play games. The atmosphere was warm and inviting, with the gentle pattering of rain on the windows and the dim lighting creating a cozy mood.
Someone suggested playing Twister. The group enthusiastically agreed, and soon the Twister game mat was spread out on the floor, colorful and inviting.
Mark and you were both players in this round, along with a few others from the group.
As the game started, Mark and you quickly found yourselves in precarious positions. Each spin of the wheel added another layer of closeness and intimacy to the game. You felt your cheeks flushing every time you had to bend or stretch, feeling Mark's warm body so close to your own.
Mark's breathing was calm and focused, and despite the humorous and light-hearted atmosphere of the game, there was a certain tension, an electrifying feeling in the air, every time your hands or feet found touchpoints.
In a particularly memorable moment, as Mark tried to place his left hand on green while simultaneously maintaining his balance to avoid falling on you, your eyes met. In that brief, silent exchange, there was an unspoken question, a curiosity, and perhaps even a hint of desire.
Suddenly, Mark stretched out his right leg, positioning you beneath him with his lower part pressing against your abdomen.
The intense impact of his body made your heart pound loudly in your chest as if it were the only sound you could hear over the laughter and cheers of your friends. The warmth of Mark's body, separated only by the thin layer of your clothes, sent a tingling through your entire body that you hadn't known before.
When the game finally ended, amidst general laughter, you felt oddly dizzy, almost as if in a dream. Mark, returning to his usual boisterous self, gave you a broad, irresistible smile that made your heart skip a beat for a moment.
The next day, as the clouds cleared and the sun began to shine over Vienna once again, the group decided on an outdoor game to enjoy the free time.
Dodgeball was the chosen activity. In a nearby park, which offered ample space, two teams were formed. You and Mark naturally ended up on the same team, again.
Mark, proving to be surprisingly agile and skilled, quickly became the central player of your team. With his quick reactions and clever handling of the ball, he managed to eliminate opposing players multiple times.
You noticed how safe you felt when you were near him. Instinctively, you began to position yourself behind him to shield yourself from the incoming balls. Mark quickly seemed to notice this and almost naturally assumed the role of your personal protector. He strategically positioned himself to shield you with his body while still keeping an eye on the game.
Every time a ball flew in your direction, Mark was there to deflect it or catch it skillfully. His protective instinct was impressive, and you couldn't help feeling a bit flattered.
You noticed your teammates and even some opponents chuckling as they saw Mark repeatedly shielding you.
In the shade of the trees, as the group relaxed and talked about the funniest moments of the game, you found a moment to quietly thank Mark.
"Thanks for being my personal bodyguard today," you said with a mischievous smile. Mark returned the smile. "Anytime," he replied, his voice full of unspoken promises.
After the successful day playing dodgeball, the group planned another game for the following day to promote camaraderie and fun among everyone.
This time, they decided on a game of Capture the Flag in a larger park in Vienna, which was perfect for it with its many hiding spots and open areas. The group was divided into two teams again.
During the game, you often found yourself alongside Jaemin, Mark's cousin, who proved to be a skilled strategic planner.
You worked well together, carefully planning your moves and supporting each other in defending your flag as well as attempting to capture the opposing team's flag.
Your collaboration was purely platonic and focused on the game, but from the outside, it could appear differently, especially in moments when you leaned in close to consult or patted each other on the shoulder to congratulate on a successful play.
Mark, who was on the opposing team, noticed the close cooperation between you and Jaemin. Even though he knew it was just a game, he couldn't shake off an uncomfortable feeling.
Watching you laugh and devise plans together, he felt an unexpected pang of jealousy arise within him. The obvious chemistry and shared laughter with Jaemin caught him off guard and awakened a deep-seated insecurity in him.
Days 67 to 99 in Brussels
Upon arriving in Brussels, you sensed a noticeable change in the group's dynamics. The city provided a perfect backdrop for many adventures. Yet, despite the breathtaking surroundings and numerous new experiences, you increasingly felt uncomfortable with the evident changes in the behaviors of Johnny, Yuta, and especially Mark.
During communal meals or while exploring the city, Johnny and Yuta made insinuations and exchanged meaningful glances that obviously concerned Mark and you. It was as if they were hinting at a subtle connection between you and Mark, one you hardly dared to dream of yourself.
The situation came to a head one evening when the group gathered in one of the cozy Brussels cafes to play "Truth or Dare."
The mood was relaxed, and the game seemed a welcome distraction from the day's exhaustive explorations. When it was Mark's turn, he chose "Truth" after a brief hesitation.
A tense silence fell over the group as Johnny posed the question: "Mark, who in this group do you feel most connected to?" All eyes were on Mark, and you felt your heart skip a beat.
Deep down, despite knowing about your engagement and the inappropriateness of such feelings, you hoped he might mention your name.
Mark was silent for a moment, his gaze sweeping over the faces of those present, and it was obvious he was wrestling with himself. Finally, after a deep breath, he mentioned the name of another female participant, Giselle. His answer came as a surprise and raised a few eyebrows in the group.
Johnny and Yuta couldn't suppress a giggle, as if amused by Mark's attempt to conceal his true feelings.
Their reaction only added to your confusion and discomfort. Deep down, you felt hurt, even though you knew you had no right to.
After all, you were engaged, and any hope for something more between you and Mark was nothing but an illusion.
Despite the sharp disappointment that threatened to overwhelm you, you put on your best smile and continued to participate in the game as if nothing had happened.
It's incredible how much change 50 days have stirred within you. You hardly recognized yourself anymore.
The following days in Brussels were marked by a subtle distance you built up towards Mark.
Although you remained part of the group activities and Mark was always friendly and accommodating, you couldn't help but wonder what was really going on behind his facade.
Was his answer in the game a conscious decision to hide his true feelings, or did it actually reflect his sentiments?
You increasingly spent time with other group members to fill the growing void left by Mark's distant behavior.
Among these was Jaehyun, a likable and charismatic participant who proved to be pleasant company. Your joint outings and conversations offered you some comfort and distracted you from the simmering emotions.
Mark, observing the growing closeness between Jaehyun and you with increasing unease, found himself in a whirlpool of conflicting feelings.
His eyes betrayed a mix of irritation and concern every time he saw you laughing or discussing together. You, unable to ignore Mark's glances, felt a growing restlessness in your heart.
You missed the ease and depth of your earlier interactions and longed to bridge the gap.
Determined to break the silence and bridge the unexplainable distance, you summoned the courage one night to call Mark to your room.
With trembling hands and a heart full of hope, you typed a message to him: "Can you please come to my room? I need to see you."
After sending the message, you lay awake, clutching your phone tightly, staring at the screen, half expecting, half fearing his response or the lack thereof.
Minutes passed like hours, and a part of you started to believe he would ignore your request, that the gap between you had grown too wide.
But then, you heard a soft knock at your door. Your heart skipped a beat, and for a moment, you hardly dared to breathe.
With hesitant steps, you approached the door and opened it to find Mark standing there.
You and Mark sat next to each other in silence on your bed. Despite the tension between you, you felt a deep longing to be even closer to Mark than mere physical proximity allowed.
Your thoughts were running in circles, caught between what was wrong and what you secretly desired.
Mark broke the silence, his voice fragile and hesitant. "You know, sometimes, when I see or think about you, thoughts come to my mind... thoughts that feel wrong."
His words hung heavily in the air, laden with the fear of the consequences of his confession.
Your heart pounded in your chest, your nervousness mixed with an unexplainable excitement.
You turned your head to him, your eyes seeking his, as you quietly asked, "What kind of thoughts?"
Mark's gaze met yours, filled with an intensity that shook you to the core. "Instinctive ones... the kind of thoughts that one should think twice, if not three times, before indulging," he confessed.
You felt the air around you start to vibrate. It was clear to you, what he was trying to say.
With a lowered gaze, barely audible, you whispered, "And what if I... would like it, when you just do?"
Mark was taken aback from your response, his "What?" was a whisper, fearful he might have misunderstood you.
You swallowed hard, your throat felt dry, your eyes fixated on a point at the window behind Mark, "I… I want to experience something new, Mark. Something... special?." you confessed.
Your eyes didn't move away from the point you were fixated on.
Mark searched your face for certainty but was even more confused than in the beginning, he frowned, "I need more words, y/n. What… what do you want to experience? Tell me."
"I… I don't know. Kinda emotional, physical intimacy, I guess. I want someone who accepts me as I am. Someone I don't have to pretend with to be someone, who isn't me. Does it make sense? I... I just want to let go and... feel, without thinking about whether it's right or wrong."
"Do you want it now?"
"What do you mean?" you asked, confused. You were disconnected from reality for a moment, sharing your deepest desires with him, that you totally forgot, that he was actually listening to you.
Mark shifted his position on your bed to face you fully. "I mean… what if I can give you the emotional… and…" he cleared his throat, and even in the evening light, you could see a hint of pink on his cheeks. "…the physical intimacy. Here and now."
"Here and now?" Your eyes widened.
"I can give you all of that if you want it. I mean… I'd like to… very much."
"So you're willing to accept me as I am?"
"Yes."
"Trust me completely?"
"Exactly."
"Not judge me for my weird choices?"
"Of course not."
You pondered for a while.
"If that's the case… then… would you like to… kiss me?"
Mark chuckled, "i’m dying to, actually."
He slid his hand to the back of your neck, before leaning in, while you looked down at his lips.
Your eyes closed right before the small gap between you two closed. Mark sighed as though he had just sunk into a hot bath after a long day.
You dropped your hands to his thigh, feeling the solid muscle below his denim. Marks free hand came to rest on your hip, his fingers dripping under your shirt to graze your bare skin.
The contact made you shiver slightly before he slid one of your hands up his thigh. You couldn’t help but smile into the kiss as you felt him shiver too.
You fell back onto your bed, pulling Mark with you. Your mouths opened simultaneously.
Mark groaned as his tongue slipped into your mouth. His grip on your hip thightened while his other hand pushed up into her hair.
He pulled gently your hair, making you moan as your kiss broke.
Mark used this opportunity to kiss your buttom lip, then your cheek, down your jaw and setlling into your neck, where he left opened mouthed kisses, allowing his hand to glide further up under your shirt until his fingers were resting underneath your bra.
„Mark“, you whispered and he mumbled into your neck, the vibrations pulling a soft moan from you.
„Do you... want to have sex with me?“
Mark pulled away from your neck and pulled his hand out from under your shirt, both of his hands were now cupping your face.
He gently pecked your nose, revelling in the little giggle you made before leaning his forehead against yours.
„You remember, when you had danced in Vienna? Then I knew, I wanted to have sex with you, but was too afraid, since I thought, you would reject me."
You remembered that day. Even then, it was clear to you that there was more between you and Mark, but you were too afraid to dig further and admit to yourself that you were attracted to him.
"Jesus, I want to give you everything you need, y/n.“
"What about you? Why don't you tell me what you need?", you said while your voice trembled. You couldn't believe you were in this situation, in Brussels, in a hotel room, with Mark Lee.
You felt inwardly relieved that you had insisted on staying alone in a room from the beginning. Without Karina or another roommate. Otherwise it would be very difficult to have him on your bed right now.
„You. I need you.“ Mark sucked the side of your neck lightly. Your lips lifted at the gesture, though your eyes remained shut. „Do you like this?“ he asked.
„Mmm…“ you hummed.
Mark moved his mouth to the opposite side of your throat. „I want to give you pleasure, y/n. I wish to make you cum today, does it sound good?“, he asked to reassure.
You swallowed at his choice of words. The abrupt change in him surprised you a bit, but at the same time, you were excited about what was about to happen.
You coaxed hum down with a twitch of your fingers, bringing his mouth to yours. The kiss was softer this time.
Your mouths barely parted and lips slowly caressed each other, and only parted for the cruel necessity of verbal communication.
„How can I say no to that?“, you said, stroking his face. „But, please… be gentle. Take your time.“ You shyly remarked.
„Gentle. I got you.“ Mark confirmed. Then, he pulled away.
You made a small noise of protest, but that didn't stop him.
Mark grasped your breasts and groped you tenderly, rolling the flesh within his palms and brushing your erect nipples with his thumbs.
You gasped at his light touches and he could smell sweetness of your cunt as you started to become wet.
With mooth, broad sweeps of his hands, he moved down your belly as he inched lower and lower. He kneeled between your legs, parting them, so he could rub circles into the insides of your thighs.
Above him, your breath quickened.
„May I-„
„Just do as you like.“ You stated.
Mark kept his approach gentle and slow as you wished, lapping at the outer folds, his tongue only incidentally dipping inside your clit.
You groaned and tried to close your knees around his head but he kept them still, forcing them back down on the mattress.
He kissed at the tantalizing mound until your muscles once again unwinded; then he resumed, this time licking into the dripping source of your torment.
When he focused his attention on throbbing bud at the apex of your inner folds, passing the flat of his tongue over it again and again, your hands weaved into his hair and begin to tug it.
He ignored it at first but then he heard a breathless, “Mark,” which made him lift his head immediately.
You gathered his face up in your palms, thumbing away at your juices on his chin.
Your eyes became dark and heady, pupils blown wide and skin hot as fire.
Mark wiped the liquid out and hovered back on you so that you were face to face.
„Mark,“ you moaned into his mouth as he kissed you hungrily while his hands were busy playing with your breasts.
„Do you want to try out a certain position?“ he whispered in your ear before nipping at that turn on spot just below your ear. Earning another moan from you before you nodded your head enthusiastically.
„Can I help choose one?“
„Of course“ Mark assured you as he pulled out his shirt and placed it out on the floor in front of you.
„Can we do this position, where…“ you tried to form a sentence, but were too taken aback from the sensation the situation gave you.
„What position?“ Mark queried as he climbed back onto the bed with you, now both only in your underwears, before kissing your neck tenderly.
„I want to try that…um.. you know which one.“ you were too try to speak it out.
„No, I don’t, tell me baby,“ Marks begged as he kissed you again just under your ear before returning his kisses to your neck as he lied on top of you.
He could guess which position you wanted but just wanted to hear the words roll off your tongue and out your mouth first.
„The… doggy… style one,“ you murmured, making Mark grin as he allowed his hand to snake back up your body.
He gently started to kiss down your neck, over your collar bone then down the valley in-between your breasts bevor kissing over your stomach.
„Do you want to take off my boxers or shall I?“ he asked before he kissed the top of your thigh.
„I want to do it,“ you breathed out as you sit up and him wathching you how your hands slowly slide down the hem of his grey boxer shorts until his hard member appeared.
„Arch your back a bit,“ Mark murmurrd into your ear before you could admire his member any longer.
You did as told and wihtin the next second he had your bra unclasped and thrown on the floor with the rest of your clothes.
„Are you sure you want to try this position?“ he confirmed with you and you nodded as you sit up and allowed him to put you in the position.
Mark got you to kneel in front of him with your back to his, and your legs opened enough for him to enter you.
„Ready?“ Mark asked to make sure, you were prepared.
„Just fucking do it already, Mark.“ you plead unpatiently.
Mark thrusted into you, revelling in the wetness and warmth of your dripping pussy.
After enjoying the sensation for a few moments, Mark beginned to pump in and out of you until you both found a speed that you could enjoy.
Marks cock was definitely enjoying itself as it slided into your wet folds and proded your g-spot every time.
„Oh, Mark, oh… god-“ you moaned out as you started to move back against him, making him groan in response.
„Ah- fuck, you’re doing so well, baby,“ Mark groaned but before you could answer, he thrusted into you with some force making you shout out in pleasure.
Just as he felt, you were beginning to get close to your release; he stopped moving in you.
Before you could protest, he had you lying on your back on the bed. All that before he plunged his throbbing cock back into you.
„Sorry, darlin', I want to see you climax. I want to see your face when you go over the edge“, he murmured in your ear before nipping at your neck.
You easily adjustee to the new position as you began to meet hum thrust for thrust, as well as rocking against him.
With each thrust, Mark went deeper and deeper into you until you both meet your end.
Mark kept moving in and out of you until you have both come down from your highs.
Once that has happended, he moved so he was laid down next to you on your side. He started to softly draw random patterns on your stomach as you both tried to catch your breaths back.
„Dude, that was…“, he to form the correct words, but there were just so many that he couldn’t think of the perfect ones to say.
„Explosive? Mind Blowing?“ you filled in, making him chuckle as he rolled you on top of him before connecting his lips to yours.
„Gosh, am I fucking glad, that I listened to the boys and agreed to this trip. Where else would I have met you instead?“ Mark mumbleed as he looks at you with lovely eyes.
You forced a smile to his words. Calm and worried at the same time. Calm because you will by no means regret that you have this thing with Mark, and worried because you will probably hurt him if he found out about Jonas.
So for tonight, you decided to enjoy his presence next to you and dive into a worryless sleep. At least, that was an important motto, you got from Mark.
To your surprise, he was also be able to sleep safe and sound next to you, showing no signs of insomnia. Guess, someone out there forgot about taking Mark on an adventure that night - while you had your best, you could ever wish for.
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In defense of bureaucratic competence
Sure, sometimes it really does make sense to do your own research. There's times when you really do need to take personal responsibility for the way things are going. But there's limits. We live in a highly technical world, in which hundreds of esoteric, potentially lethal factors impinge on your life every day.
You can't "do your own research" to figure out whether all that stuff is safe and sound. Sure, you might be able to figure out whether a contractor's assurances about a new steel joist for your ceiling are credible, but after you do that, are you also going to independently audit the software in your car's antilock brakes?
How about the nutritional claims on your food and the sanitary conditions in the industrial kitchen it came out of? If those turn out to be inadequate, are you going to be able to validate the medical advice you get in the ER when you show up at 3AM with cholera? While you're trying to figure out the #HIPAAWaiver they stuck in your hand on the way in?
40 years ago, Ronald Reagan declared war on "the administrative state," and "government bureaucrats" have been the favored bogeyman of the American right ever since. Even if Steve Bannon hasn't managed to get you to froth about the "Deep State," there's a good chance that you've griped about red tape from time to time.
Not without reason, mind you. The fact that the government can make good rules doesn't mean it will. When we redid our kitchen this year, the city inspector added a bunch of arbitrary electrical outlets to the contractor's plans in places where neither we, nor any future owner, will every need them.
But the answer to bad regulation isn't no regulation. During the same kitchen reno, our contractor discovered that at some earlier time, someone had installed our kitchen windows without the accompanying vapor-barriers. In the decades since, the entire structure of our kitchen walls had rotted out. Not only was the entire front of our house one good earthquake away from collapsing – there were two half rotted verticals supporting the whole thing – but replacing the rotted walls added more than $10k to the project.
In other words, the problem isn't too much regulation, it's the wrong regulation. I want our city inspectors to make sure that contractors install vapor barriers, but to not demand superfluous electrical outlets.
Which raises the question: where do regulations come from? How do we get them right?
Regulation is, first and foremost, a truth-seeking exercise. There will never be one obvious answer to any sufficiently technical question. "Should this window have a vapor barrier?" is actually a complex question, needing to account for different window designs, different kinds of barriers, etc.
To make a regulation, regulators ask experts to weigh in. At the federal level, expert agencies like the DoT or the FCC or HHS will hold a "Notice of Inquiry," which is a way to say, "Hey, should we do something about this? If so, what should we do?"
Anyone can weigh in on these: independent technical experts, academics, large companies, lobbyists, industry associations, members of the public, hobbyist groups, and swivel-eyed loons. This produces a record from which the regulator crafts a draft regulation, which is published in something called a "Notice of Proposed Rulemaking."
The NPRM process looks a lot like the NOI process: the regulator publishes the rule, the public weighs in for a couple of rounds of comments, and the regulator then makes the rule (this is the federal process; state regulation and local ordinances vary, but they follow a similar template of collecting info, making a proposal, collecting feedback and finalizing the proposal).
These truth-seeking exercises need good input. Even very competent regulators won't know everything, and even the strongest theoretical foundation needs some evidence from the field. It's one thing to say, "Here's how your antilock braking software should work," but you also need to hear from mechanics who service cars, manufacturers, infosec specialists and drivers.
These people will disagree with each other, for good reasons and for bad ones. Some will be sincere but wrong. Some will want to make sure that their products or services are required – or that their competitors' products and services are prohibited.
It's the regulator's job to sort through these claims. But they don't have to go it alone: in an ideal world, the wrong people will be corrected by other parties in the docket, who will back up their claims with evidence.
So when the FCC proposes a Net Neutrality rule, the monopoly telcos and cable operators will pile in and insist that this is technically impossible, that there is no way to operate a functional ISP if the network management can't discriminate against traffic that is less profitable to the carrier. Now, this unity of perspective might reflect a bedrock truth ("Net Neutrality can't work") or a monopolists' convenient lie ("Net Neutrality is less profitable for us").
In a competitive market, there'd be lots of counterclaims with evidence from rivals: "Of course Net Neutrality is feasible, and here are our server logs to prove it!" But in a monopolized markets, those counterclaims come from micro-scale ISPs, or academics, or activists, or subscribers. These counterclaims are easy to dismiss ("what do you know about supporting 100 million users?"). That's doubly true when the regulator is motivated to give the monopolists what they want – either because they are hoping for a job in the industry after they quit government service, or because they came out of industry and plan to go back to it.
To make things worse, when an industry is heavily concentrated, it's easy for members of the ruling cartel – and their backers in government – to claim that the only people who truly understand the industry are its top insiders. Seen in that light, putting an industry veteran in charge of the industry's regulator isn't corrupt – it's sensible.
All of this leads to regulatory capture – when a regulator starts defending an industry from the public interest, instead of defending the public from the industry. The term "regulatory capture" has a checkered history. It comes out of a bizarre, far-right Chicago School ideology called "Public Choice Theory," whose goal is to eliminate regulation, not fix it.
In Public Choice Theory, the biggest companies in an industry have the strongest interest in capturing the regulator, and they will work harder – and have more resources – than anyone else, be they members of the public, workers, or smaller rivals. This inevitably leads to capture, where the state becomes an arm of the dominant companies, wielded by them to prevent competition:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/06/05/regulatory-capture/
This is regulatory nihilism. It supposes that the only reason you weren't killed by your dinner, or your antilock brakes, or your collapsing roof, is that you just got lucky – and not because we have actual, good, sound regulations that use evidence to protect us from the endless lethal risks we face. These nihilists suppose that making good regulation is either a myth – like ancient Egyptian sorcery – or a lost art – like the secret to embalming Pharaohs.
But it's clearly possible to make good regulations – especially if you don't allow companies to form monopolies or cartels. What's more, failing to make public regulations isn't the same as getting rid of regulation. In the absence of public regulation, we get private regulation, run by companies themselves.
Think of Amazon. For decades, the DoJ and FTC sat idly by while Amazon assembled and fortified its monopoly. Today, Amazon is the de facto e-commerce regulator. The company charges its independent sellers 45-51% in junk fees to sell on the platform, including $31b/year in "advertising" to determine who gets top billing in your searches. Vendors raise their Amazon prices in order to stay profitable in the face of these massive fees, and if they don't raise their prices at every other store and site, Amazon downranks them to oblivion, putting them out of business.
This is the crux of the FTC's case against Amazon: that they are picking winners and setting prices across the entire economy, including at every other retailer:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/25/greedflation/#commissar-bezos
The same is true for Google/Facebook, who decide which news and views you encounter; for Apple/Google, who decide which apps you can use, and so on. The choice is never "government regulation" or "no regulation" – it's always "government regulation" or "corporate regulation." You either live by rules made in public by democratically accountable bureaucrats, or rules made in private by shareholder-accountable executives.
You just can't solve this by "voting with your wallet." Think about the problem of robocalls. Nobody likes these spam calls, and worse, they're a vector for all kinds of fraud. Robocalls are mostly a problem with federation. The phone system is a network-of-networks, and your carrier is interconnected with carriers all over the world, sometimes through intermediaries that make it hard to know which network a call originates on.
Some of these carriers are spam-friendly. They make money by selling access to spammers and scammers. Others don't like spam, but they have lax or inadequate security measures to prevent robocalls. Others will simply be targets of opportunity: so large and well-resourced that they are irresistible to bad actors, who continuously probe their defenses and exploit overlooked flaws, which are quickly patched.
To stem the robocall tide, your phone company will have to block calls from bad actors, put sloppy or lazy carriers on notice to shape up or face blocks, and also tell the difference between good companies and bad ones.
There's no way you can figure this out on your own. How can you know whether your carrier is doing a good job at this? And even if your carrier wants to do this, only the largest, most powerful companies can manage it. Rogue carriers won't give a damn if some tiny micro-phone-company threatens them with a block if they don't shape up.
This is something that a large, powerful government agency is best suited to addressing. And thankfully, we have such an agency. Two years ago, the FCC demanded that phone companies submit plans for "robocall mitigation." Now, it's taking action:
https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2023/10/telcos-filed-blank-robocall-plans-with-fcc-and-got-away-with-it-for-2-years/
Specifically, the FCC has identified carriers – in the US and abroad – with deficient plans. Some of these plans are very deficient. National Cloud Communications of Texas sent the FCC a Windows Printer Test Page. Evernex (Pakistan) sent the FCC its "taxpayer profile inquiry" from a Pakistani state website. Viettel (Vietnam) sent in a slide presentation entitled "Making Smart Cities Vision a Reality." Canada's Humbolt VoIP sent an "indiscernible object." DomainerSuite submitted a blank sheet of paper scrawled with the word "NOTHING."
The FCC has now notified these carriers – and others with less egregious but still deficient submissions – that they have 14 days to fix this or they'll be cut off from the US telephone network.
This is a problem you don't fix with your wallet, but with your ballot. Effective, public-interest-motivated FCC regulators are a political choice. Trump appointed the cartoonishly evil Ajit Pai to run the FCC, and he oversaw a program of neglect and malice. Pai – a former Verizon lawyer – dismantled Net Neutrality after receiving millions of obviously fraudulent comments from stolen identities, lying about it, and then obstructing the NY Attorney General's investigation into the matter:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/08/31/and-drown-it/#starve-the-beast
The Biden administration has a much better FCC – though not as good as it could be, thanks to Biden hanging Gigi Sohn out to dry in the face of a homophobic smear campaign that ultimately led one of the best qualified nominees for FCC commissioner to walk away from the process:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/12/15/useful-idiotsuseful-idiots/#unrequited-love
Notwithstanding the tragic loss of Sohn's leadership in this vital agency, Biden's FCC – and its action on robocalls – illustrates the value of elections won with ballots, not wallets.
Self-regulation without state regulation inevitably devolves into farce. We're a quarter of a century into the commercial internet and the US still doesn't have a modern federal privacy law. The closest we've come is a disclosure rule, where companies can make up any policy they want, provided they describe it to you.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out how to cheat on this regulation. It's so simple, even a Meta lawyer can figure it out – which is why the Meta Quest VR headset has a privacy policy isn't merely awful, but long.
It will take you five hours to read the whole document and discover how badly you're being screwed. Go ahead, "do your own research":
https://foundation.mozilla.org/en/privacynotincluded/articles/annual-creep-o-meter/
The answer to bad regulation is good regulation, and the answer to incompetent regulators is competent ones. As Michael Lewis's Fifth Risk (published after Trump filled the administrative agencies with bootlickers, sociopaths and crooks) documented, these jobs demand competence:
https://memex.craphound.com/2018/11/27/the-fifth-risk-michael-lewis-explains-how-the-deep-state-is-just-nerds-versus-grifters/
For example, Lewis describes how a Washington State nuclear waste facility created as part of the Manhattan Project endangers the Columbia River, the source of 8 million Americans' drinking water. The nuclear waste cleanup is projected to take 100 years and cost 100 billion dollars. With stakes that high, we need competent bureaucrats overseeing the job.
The hacky conservative jokes comparing every government agency to the DMV are not descriptive so much as prescriptive. By slashing funding, imposing miserable working conditions, and demonizing the people who show up for work anyway, neoliberals have chased away many good people, and hamstrung those who stayed.
One of the most inspiring parts of the Biden administration is the large number of extremely competent, extremely principled agency personnel he appointed, and the speed and competence they've brought to their roles, to the great benefit of the American public:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/18/administrative-competence/#i-know-stuff
But leaders can only do so much – they also need staff. 40 years of attacks on US state capacity has left the administrative state in tatters, stretched paper-thin. In an excellent article, Noah Smith describes how a starveling American bureaucracy costs the American public a fortune:
https://www.noahpinion.blog/p/america-needs-a-bigger-better-bureaucracy
Even stripped of people and expertise, the US government still needs to get stuff done, so it outsources to nonprofits and consultancies. These are the source of much of the expense and delay in public projects. Take NYC's Second Avenue subway, a notoriously overbudget and late subway extension – "the most expensive mile of subway ever built." Consultants amounted to 20% of its costs, double what France or Italy would have spent. The MTA used to employ 1,600 project managers. Now it has 124 of them, overseeing $20b worth of projects. They hand that money to consultants, and even if they have the expertise to oversee the consultants' spending, they are stretched too thin to do a good job of it:
https://slate.com/business/2023/02/subway-costs-us-europe-public-transit-funds.html
When a public agency lacks competence, it ends up costing the public more. States with highly expert Departments of Transport order better projects, which need fewer changes, which adds up to massive costs savings and superior roads:
https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=4522676
Other gaps in US regulation are plugged by nonprofits and citizen groups. Environmental rules like NEPA rely on the public to identify and object to environmental risks in public projects, from solar plants to new apartment complexes. NEPA and its state equivalents empower private actors to sue developers to block projects, even if they satisfy all environmental regulations, leading to years of expensive delay.
The answer to this isn't to dismantle environmental regulations – it's to create a robust expert bureaucracy that can enforce them instead of relying on NIMBYs. This is called "ministerial approval" – when skilled government workers oversee environmental compliance. Predictably, NIMBYs hate ministerial approval.
Which is not to say that there aren't problems with trusting public enforcers to ensure that big companies are following the law. Regulatory capture is real, and the more concentrated an industry is, the greater the risk of capture. We are living in a moment of shocking market concentration, thanks to 40 years of under-regulation:
https://www.openmarketsinstitute.org/learn/monopoly-by-the-numbers
Remember that five-hour privacy policy for a Meta VR headset? One answer to these eye-glazing garbage novellas presented as "privacy policies" is to simply ban certain privacy-invading activities. That way, you can skip the policy, knowing that clicking "I agree" won't expose you to undue risk.
This is the approach that Bennett Cyphers and I argue for in our EFF white-paper, "Privacy Without Monopoly":
https://www.eff.org/wp/interoperability-and-privacy
After all, even the companies that claim to be good for privacy aren't actually very good for privacy. Apple blocked Facebook from spying on iPhone owners, then sneakily turned on their own mass surveillance system, and lied about it:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar
But as the European experiment with the GDPR has shown, public administrators can't be trusted to have the final word on privacy, because of regulatory capture. Big Tech companies like Google, Apple and Facebook pretend to be headquartered in corporate crime havens like Ireland and Luxembourg, where the regulators decline to enforce the law:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/15/finnegans-snooze/#dirty-old-town
It's only because of the GPDR has a private right of action – the right of individuals to sue to enforce their rights – that we're finally seeing the beginning of the end of commercial surveillance in Europe:
https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2022/07/americans-deserve-more-current-american-data-privacy-protection-act
It's true that NIMBYs can abuse private rights of action, bringing bad faith cases to slow or halt good projects. But just as the answer to bad regulations is good ones, so too is the answer to bad private rights of action good ones. SLAPP laws have shown us how to balance vexatious litigation with the public interest:
https://www.rcfp.org/resources/anti-slapp-laws/
We must get over our reflexive cynicism towards public administration. In my book The Internet Con, I lay out a set of public policy proposals for dismantling Big Tech and putting users back in charge of their digital lives:
https://www.versobooks.com/products/3035-the-internet-con
The most common objection I've heard since publishing the book is, "Sure, Big Tech has enshittified everything great about the internet, but how can we trust the government to fix it?"
We've been conditioned to think that lawmakers are too old, too calcified and too corrupt, to grasp the technical nuances required to regulate the internet. But just because Congress isn't made up of computer scientists, it doesn't mean that they can't pass good laws relating to computers. Congress isn't full of microbiologists, but we still manage to have safe drinking water (most of the time).
You can't just "do the research" or "vote with your wallet" to fix the internet. Bad laws – like the DMCA, which bans most kinds of reverse engineering – can land you in prison just for reconfiguring your own devices to serve you, rather than the shareholders of the companies that made them. You can't fix that yourself – you need a responsive, good, expert, capable government to fix it.
We can have that kind of government. It'll take some doing, because these questions are intrinsically hard to get right even without monopolies trying to capture their regulators. Even a president as flawed as Biden can be pushed into nominating good administrative personnel and taking decisive, progressive action:
https://doctorow.medium.com/joe-biden-is-headed-to-a-uaw-picket-line-in-detroit-f80bd0b372ab?sk=f3abdfd3f26d2f615ad9d2f1839bcc07
Biden may not be doing enough to suit your taste. I'm certainly furious with aspects of his presidency. The point isn't to lionize Biden – it's to point out that even very flawed leaders can be pushed into producing benefit for the American people. Think of how much more we can get if we don't give up on politics but instead demand even better leaders.
My next novel is The Lost Cause, coming out on November 14. It's about a generation of people who've grown up under good government – a historically unprecedented presidency that has passed the laws and made the policies we'll need to save our species and planet from the climate emergency:
https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865939/the-lost-cause
The action opens after the pendulum has swung back, with a new far-right presidency and an insurgency led by white nationalist militias and their offshore backers – seagoing anarcho-capitalist billionaires.
In the book, these forces figure out how to turn good regulations against the people they were meant to help. They file hundreds of simultaneous environmental challenges to refugee housing projects across the country, blocking the infill building that is providing homes for the people whose homes have been burned up in wildfires, washed away in floods, or rendered uninhabitable by drought.
I don't want to spoil the book here, but it shows how the protagonists pursue a multipronged defense, mixing direct action, civil disobedience, mass protest, court challenges and political pressure to fight back. What they don't do is give up on state capacity. When the state is corrupted by wreckers, they claw back control, rather than giving up on the idea of a competent and benevolent public system.
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/23/getting-stuff-done/#praxis
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