#ppppllllaatonic

[thefangirlofhp]

22. friend in deed

It is an inherent part of Cassian’s constitution to look after people; a particular character trait that most people would commend him for but others can often hold it in contempt. Azriel understands how it could make a person feel either ways, as he is often subjected to the polarizing effect of Cassian’s care. Azriel is not often placed in the position where he must provide what he is so often given (even if he refuses it) as he often thinks of himself as being the person who fetches the care, instigates its offering and provides the intel: Cassian is upset.

But who would he give this particular note to, such as today? Morrigan herself is on the brink of throwing herself into the sea with rocks chained to her ankles and Amren is as likely to offer the kind of consolation Cassian needs as a lion would roll over for a deer. Rhys is usually Cassian’s comfort, the male who knows exactly what to say to make things better.

But he’s gone, now.

So, when Azriel walks the hallow corridors of the House of Wind, after another futile day of trying to escape Velaris, and finds Cassian lying motionless on the floor of an open balcony, Azriel figures, what the Hell, he’ll make an effort. The House offers a commendable dinner, but Azriel really only takes the roasted chicken and makes a soup out of it. He does gratefully accept the offered cookies, and covers them with a dishcloth.

“Hey,” Azriel stands over Cassian, who’s covering his eyes with his arm. He nudges his side. “Sit up. Made you something.”

“Thanks,” Cassian grumbles, sitting up and accepting the steaming bowl of soup while Azriel makes himself comfortable next to him on the floor.

“You’re all-right?” Azriel asks, tucking his hands under his arms.   

 Cassian shoots him a look out of the corner of his eyes, and delays the answer by trying the soup. “Yeah.”

Since Azriel’s met him and learned about the emotional complexities people were made of, he’s quickly realized Cassian doesn’t have many layers, so to speak. He’s a straightforward male, who grumbles when he’s upset and shouts when he is angry and punches the stuffing out of training dummies when he’s in the mood.

“This was his favorite,” Azriel nods to the soup. “Remember? When it was cold, and we were all miserable, his mother used to make it for us?”

Cassian’s face softens, and he nods once.

“I miss him,” he confesses and Azriel feels the weight it brings. Rhys’s absence has been a hemophiliac wound that would not heal, an amputation that keeps on bleeding. He was everywhere, and now he is nowhere and there’s no place to run away from that fact.

“Me too,” Azriel admits softly. “I…hate not knowing. I’ve never not known for certain before. It eats me alive, to not know and have no ways of knowing.”

Cassian nods again. Then he scoffs. “To think I miss the fucking Illyrians.”

Azriel hasn’t gone that insane.

“I can’t imagine Amarantha hasn’t found out about us by now,” Azriel shares. “I can’t imagine Kier keeping us a secret, or the Illyrians not having a commander. I…I hope she isn’t taking it out on anyone undeserving.”

Cassian’s brow furrows before panic lights his eyes. “Do you think she’s torturing Rhys, for information about us?”

People have many keys to exploit, weak spots that would fell the toughest walls and crumble any person’s constitution in moments—Azriel should know; most of his work as a torturer is not measured in how gruesome the act itself it, but by knowing where exactly to hit.  

“Whatever she does wouldn’t be enough,” Azriel softly reassures him. “Rhys can take it. Because he knows we are safe, and she can’t find out about us.”

Cassian’s face doesn’t lighten, remains dark and thunderous. “I hope he’s all-right. And that one day I’ll get to kill the bitch.”

“We all have our pound of flesh to take,” Azriel says. “I just hope his knee doesn’t bother him; it’s getting cold.”

Cassian shakily exhales. “Yeah. I hope he gets back, soon.”

“Me too.”

#azriel and cassian #cazriel #ppppllllaatonic #azriel #cazriel fic #hurt/comfort agAIN #ngl kinda wondering where everyone's notes are all month :/ #cassian #rhysand