#plus ive had horrible burnout

[terrortalesv]

tomis

#regular show #thomas/nikolai #myart #sometimes i forget posting here is an option sowwy 💔 #plus ive had horrible burnout #for a couple months #that’s finally started to get better so. yippee

[a-loving-ghost]

(not so) teeny little chonny jash rant (allister’s theory about the beginning of the dissonance)

after writing my 6 page essay on chonny’s charming chaos compendium vol 1 for my friends to learn about a few days ago ive been thinking about heart and mind’s relationship

so honestly, it feels like that mind fucked up their original relationship somehow after the split, like i think they got along way better

also, personal interpretation here but mind and heart are 2 ends of a spectrum, heart feels things incredibly strongly and mind hardly feels anything at all, and vice versa with heart’s and mind’s rational thinking, which is why soul has somewhat of an “equal” balance between rationality and feeling (as well as seemingly being emotionally unstable and having poorer decision making during the war), but i brought this up mainly because like

maybe the heart was reasonably upset over something, and the mind couldn’t understand why he got so distraught, so he got on heart for acting irrationally or immaturely

and heart, who was already distressed (and people generally make horrible decisions when they’re worked up), felt attacked and betrayed because its like

him and mind were on good terms before this, and now mind is (in heart’s eyes) attacking him for no reason, and i believe that the resulting emotions from this would lead to the juno incident (is it called the juno incident or just ruler of everything??)

and also, going through the album its like, yeah, mind seems kind of egotistical, maybe even power hungry, because he has this mindset that his rationale and logic are the end all be all of things, but i dont know if, because he’s on the opposite end of the spectrum that heart is, that he even understands emotions the way most people would. despite that, he DOES have a perspective. i think heart is holding a grudge due to what i claimed led up to RoE, and because he’s holding on to that feeling of hurt and betrayal, plus the (possible) emotional burnout he experiences, he’s refusing to listen to mind’s perspective

while mind is refusing to listen to heart’s perspective because, well, being rational is the way. heart is emotionally distraught for a lot of the album, which hinders his rationality, making mind believe that heart’s side is less important since he is no longer acting logical

(tldr) so basically the “war” was started by a simple mistake from both parties who couldnt realize that they both were in the wrong! in mind’s eyes, heart reacted in an irrational way, not sharing his ideals of logic > feeling; while in from heart’s perspective, one of the only 2 friends he had suddenly betrayed him because he was simply reacting how he usually did

#allisters yapping #mind chonny jash #heart chonny jash #soul chonny jash #cccc #cccc mind #cccc heart #cccc soul #chonnys charming chaos compendium #im so normal guys but i NEED another cj fan to talk about this with #cj mind #cj soul #cj heart

[daredevilexchange]

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What’s your fannish ID? i can be found under the names spidrenam or @vncntvangogurt across the internet. spidrenam is quite literally just spider-man rearranged (if u remember that rly bad ripoff spider-man cap that floated around tumblr yeah that was my inspo lol) and vncntvangogurt is just shortened vincent van gogh but gogh is gogurt lol

What types of fanworks do you create?  i make digital or traditional art as will as writing fanfics. digital art’s super satisfying when you’re proud of the final piece. i’ve recently started to delve into fic writing once again and actually post finished pieces instead of letting wips pile up. i almost got a creative writing minor in college so it feels nice to use the skills my professor gave me to write fanfic haha

What are your favourite types of fanworks, when you’re not creating? ive only every received art or fics but honestly anything that shows the creator took time and effort along with passion is good for me. its so fun to see how creative other folks can be because honestly sometimes i don’t feel all that creative

What do you like in particular about this fandom?  the fandom is so vast and i love how friendly most of the members seem to be. there’s lots of content to consume, whether you’re into the netflix series or the comics (or even the 2003 movies). plus it’s all interconnected and i just really love how it all ties together. 

Do you like participating in fan events? i love participating in them but oh my god i’m horrible with time management. i thought to myself this time around “oh ill be better this time i got tons of time on my hands cuz of the pandemic and i don’t have a job currently” and then i ended up just… not starting til december and dragging my feet when writing…. lmfao

What about your creating process? ohh good question. i work very sporadically: sometimes ‘ill do something all in one sitting (mostly art) but sometimes i’ll work in chunks scattered throughout weeks (mostly fic writing) which is a pain cuz then i have to go back and make sure everything connects and it doesn’t look like it was written in pieces lol. i have sooo many wips that barely ever get finished…. i enjoy writing or drawing to music but if i’m drawing i can watch something else like a tv show or youtube videos. the best thing to get the creative juices flowing imo is to be inspired by something and strike when the irons hot. forcing yourself to create always ends in burnout in my experience.

Do you interact a lot with other fans?  hmm not really. as nice as the fandom seems, i tend to keep my distance. others are welcome to come talk to me ofc but my anxiety keeps me from approaching others. i like sitting on the sideline and watching. its nice to just be a wallflower sometimes.

Is there any particular piece you’d like to showcase for this post?  hmm i guess i’m most proud of the DDE2020 exchange piece i did which is on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26226685 it’s shorter than i wanted it to be but it was the first time i’d written frank and also written UST. fratt really set the ground for some of the other pairings i like across my other fandoms. i just see what they had and i’m like “wow there’s something about that UST that’s just *chefs kiss*”

Do you have other fandoms you’d like to talk about?  currently im very involved in creating fan content for My Hero Academia/Boku no Hero Academia. the only reason i got into it was because of quarantine and i was like eh what the hell i’ll start this anime my friends are always talking about. a lot of the ships i like in that have parallels with the marvel ships i like so its nice. also it helps that it’s about superheroes as well. i can tell that the mangaka (who has drawn marvel fanart it’s super dope) was very inspired by western comics when he created it, especially in the spinoff series Vigilantes (which i really like cuz vigilantes duh) where there’s two background characters who are basically just cyclops and wolverine ha. i enjoyed reading about how the co-creators for the spinoff basically watched marvel movies and shows to get inspiration for the series; that made me super happy. i like that even though this particular fandom is my current fixation that it has lot of similarities with marvel/dde.

Is there anything else you want to tell us about yourself? i sell stickers on etsy and i have a miles morales and a defenders ones up right now (i have it linked in my linktree below)! also i’m really thankful for this exchange event! the admins are always so nice and reach out to me directly it makes me feel special so thanks for that /g [DDE: *blushes* than YOU for participating!] Where can your fanworks be found? as mentioned previously i can be found under two different users but i have a linktree! https://linktr.ee/spidrenam AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spidrenam/pseuds/spidrenam and @vncntvangogurt (DD art tag)

Thank you, @vncntvangogurt !

banner by @context-is-for-kingpins !

[ID on a white background, four black triangles that look like spotlights from above. Each illuminates one of the Defenders silhouetted in white: Jessica, Luke, Danny, Matt. A hand on the left is holding a pen writing the words Content Creator Spotlight. There is a little Punisher skull on the pen. End ID]

#daredevil art #daredevil fic #Daredevil #defenders #marvel #content creator spotlight

[blackuigryphonvr]

Will I ever Evolve this??? #MyPokemonGoLife #MyPokemonGoCareer

#PokemonGo #GOALS #MELTAN My 1 n ONLY MELTAN is STILL NOT EVOLVED! WHY??? Well, PoGo always comes out with SOMETHING ELSE that deprioritizes it! I WOULD'VE been done in February, but then I got tipped off that its cheaper to get the 3rd move BEFORE THE EVOLUTION plus getting Stardust is an issue when u hit Level 40 because I NEVER HAVE ENOUGH!

Then I also had trouble 😐 beating Team Go Rocket Leaders so I needed a Togakiss which I FINALLY GOT EVOLVED LAST MONTH! But I also got hard banned TWICE! 😠

I also DON'T own a Nintendo Switch. Raid systems have also been glitchy this year, even w my new Samsung Galaxy S10e smartphone. Nintendo Switch suddenly became a high demand n low supply item in March due to Quarantine which jacked up the price, if u could even find 1 available to purchase.

Needless to say, I also can't participate in Pokémon Home. I'm VERY disappointed 😞 about that.

Also, i would've had this as a Best Buddy, but all the events kept happening like a never-ending onslaught of awesome, so it just didn't happen yet.

I still need to Evolve my Galarian Yamask because several Raids, like Lugia, were impossible to beat several times.

Either that, or being banned this year nerfed my stats. That's my Legacy Account at Level 40, but I tend to get horrible IVs on nearly ALL raids ,n research task rewards, n eggs 🥚. I usually need to keep catching Legendaries or repeat the research task rewards multiple times.

So, will I ever finish this? I hope so! I can't beat Giovanni at all anymore on this account, n STILL can't get the Shadow Mewtwo!

It dragged on to evolve Togakiss also! Insane! Then, once I finally evolved it, I didn't even need it for PVP anymore because they changed it! 😩😫😣😖

Anyways, I've also hit a number of burnout periods since Summer. I wish there were more rest periods at times.

This Double Community Day event for November was awesome, but I was so stressed since it was less than a week between them, n needed coins bad for storage that I had insomnia SO BAD! I had to take sleeping pills for 3 days before CDay because I couldn't sleep at all. N my psoriasis flared up. I had to buy castor oil.

#blackunigryphon #pokemon go #pokemon #meltan #my pokemon go career #my pokemon go life #goals

[todokori-kun]

Ack

 that sounds horrible, getting sick is the worst ;-; get as much rest as you can! I really hope you get better soon<3

(omg the pics are GORGEOUS. Like, Wow. Once I’m done writing this message I’m probably going to go back to stare at them for like an hour and silently scream over how awesome everything looks)

Don’t worry about it, I admit that Stoki is pretty much a crack ship ^^;;

And, well, the redemption fic I mentioned helped me fall deeper into Stoki hell, but I shipped it even before that XD I think part of it is just because I think they could have a really interesting dynamic- they’re just so different, complete opposites. Steve would confuse Loki so much tbh

Also, I just think that Steve (or at least, post-CW Steve) might be one of the avengers most willing to at least try to understand Loki. Partly because Steve’s just a nice guy, and then because of his relationship with Bucky- ‘cause Steve-Bucky and Thor-Loki are really, really similar and I think Steve would realize that.

And then like I said, Steve cares a lot about other people. If Thor ever told him about everything that happened between him and Loki Steve probably wouldn’t have too much difficulty in starting to see Loki as a human(?) being instead of some one-dimensional fairy tale villain.

Lastly, I feel like Steve is just the best person to handle Loki’s issues. He may not be able to personally relate to a lot of it (Tony, Bruce, maybe Natasha would be better for that) but he can take a step back and think rationally about the situation, help convince Loki that just because the rest of the world sees him as a monster, doesn’t mean he has to be one.

Hopefully this made sense? lol)

yeah, that’s pretty much how I felt about it too. It was just so freaking frustrating OTL

(And yes that letter destoyed my feelings too)

btw, can I ask what you think about T'challa? He doesn’t seem to have that many fans yet but I think he’s really cool and possibly one of the more sensible people in the CW movie (once he stops being furious at Bucky). Also the trailer for his new movie is epic and I can’t wait to see his sister…

Hisoillu is bizarre (sadistic murdery Clown with no sense of fashion + sadistic murdery needle guy with dead fish eyes) but also makes a lot of sense at the same time? Like, Hisoka got away with joking about killing Killua in front of Illumi, so…yeah. They’ve got something special LOL

omg imagine.

‘Satisfied but when you fantasize at night it’s Illumi’s eyes’

'Helpless but look into Illumi’s eyes and the sky’s the limit’

'History has its Eyes on you but it’s actually Illumi’

Why do I want these memes to be a thing

With the new revelation about who Touka was visiting at the hospital, I’m beginning to have my doubts about how this will end…maybe they might actually both survive for now???

But I’m a bit miserable rn because if one of them has to die I’d rather keep Juuzou too but it seems much more likely for Touka to survive. She’s like the main female lead, plus she has Kaneki’s baby…

R.I.P Naki, the sweetest cinnamon roll who just wanted to see his big bro again ;-;

(Also: Wow, way to go Kaneki, you finally started acting like an actual leader (in a way)! But can I just say, what absolutely perfect timing)

WTH I had no idea Soul Eater’s art style developed that much???!!! That’s actually pretty amazing! (And yeah, I know that SE has some pretty complex characters and interesting stories in it :D it’s just still a lot lighter and has different themes from the mangas I usually enjoy ^^ I might try it out though!)

Death The Kid seems really cool! (does he really have OCD in canon, though? Like, I’ve seen a lot of Soul Eater fans talking like he does but idk if it’s actually a thing? Maybe I sound weird but it just seems insensitive to say characters like DTK and Levi have 'OCD’ and talking about it jokingly when it’s actually incredibly difficult and stressful for people who actully have OCD, so I’m not sure how to feel about those fans)

Yay! Gotta go and try to find that fight scene now…

Join me in my suffering. I loved L so much ;-;

(But hey, don’t be too sad (what’s this? Is Evans actually COMFORTING Queen Luna for once instead of rubbing salt in the wound?!)! There’s always the book Death Note: Another Note (The Los Angeles BB Murder Cases)- it’s a prequel to the Death Note manga/anime with L chasing a murderer known as Beyond Birthday (…no comment on that alias). It also shows how he met Naomi Misora which is awesome if you like Naomi (I did, and kinda screamed when Light kiled her))

Eh, I think I’m one of the few people who doesn’t mind it being set in America because what’s the point of making an American adaptation if it’s going to be set in Japan anyway? I also don’t really have a problem with 'white-washing’ for this same reason (though I am disappointed because being Japanese-American would have added an interesting layer to Light’s character; despite fighting for justice, in canon, LIght’s never actually been victimized or discriminated against. He’s a handsome, intelligent young man who appears to be cisgender and heterosexual (even if it’s never confirmed) and is Japanese, just like everyone else around him. Japanese-American Light, on the other hand, would have really experienced how the 'rotten’ world could hurt people, so his acts as Kira might have more personal emotion in them)…like, it’s possible to cast a white actor as Light without it being white-washing, and since they changed the entire setting I think it’s fine to change other things too. Just, I’m cool with anything as long as they portrayed Light’s character properly…BUT THEY DIDN’T SO

I’m really just disappointed that they botched the characters and all the themes of the original Death Note story so badly. Sure, change the setting, change the circumstances, change the plot, changehe designs, but why did you have to take Death Note’s philosophy away?

But, because I might have been a bit too mean:

I will say that the movie LOOKS really good. The visuals are great. The soundtrack seems decent too. Also, though Ryuk’s motivations/role also weren’t done very well, Ryuk’s actor did an amazing job…and while I’m not happy with how L was portrayed in this movie, I do think that the actor they cast for him could have been a good L if not for the bad writing.

Well…from what I know, Light Turner ends up in a hospital at the end of the movie with his One True Love Mia(Misa) dead, so nah. The Keikaku failed.

(which just proves that Light Turner really is nothing like Light Yagami, because Light Yagami’s keikakus never fail.

Until the end of the Death note manga/anime, that is.)

Yeah, I know about SU’s terrible fandom, so I’m not going to actively participate in writing fanfic, drawing fan art or making HCs/theories with other people…I’m just gonna watch the show with my sister and look at pretty fanart XD

Tysm tho!

(Question: Which character do you think you are? And what kind of gem do you think you’d be?)

Aww, I’m so happy my awkward rambling actually made you feel better??? Like. Come on. You have no idea how much our convos helped me with anxiety and stress, so I have to thank you for that too <333

(And seriously, Queen Luna is amazing.)

For most people, they start going to elementary at seven (in international age) as far as I know, and then go to middle school at around thirteen. Then high school at…um…sixteen? Maybe? I’ve never really gone to school here so I might not be 100% correct but it’s something like that ^^;;

I really wanna try Mystic Messenger but since my phone is an old flip phone…I like my phone but sometimes this can be inconvenient LOL

(I’m totally fine with messaging here, but are you really ok with it? 'Cause if you’re not, we can try to work something else out!)

hi im luna and i wanna die.

HNNNNNNNNGH have i ever told you how much i hate school?  because i freaking hate school from the bottom of my heart i can’t feel my neck anymore from the amount of studying ive been doing that’s depressing.

anyway. heartfelt advice: do not fuck your stomach up in any way, because you will suffer if you do. take it from me, i’ve managed to develop this amazing thing called Gastritis and now i cant eat anything without getting the feeling that im gonna throw it back out which is absolutely wonderful. thankfully, i don’t throw up, but it’s freaking annoying and ive lost waay too much weight already. best part? the whole reason why i have it is apparently purely psychological,  too much stress. i got it in the middle of july. HOW my mom is also being INCREDIBLY helpful by basically telling me to ‘get over it’ like i can just snap my fingers and tell myself ‘oh yeah this is only in my head’ and it’ll all pass over. cause that’s how it works.  so is my sister by always laughing at me

oook moving on.

yep, school started and i am suffering. ive already gone through 4 tests and a bunch of oral quizzes. yay. thanks teachers for totally not putting horrible pressure on us from the start.  i stg, one of my most common thoughts these days is ‘see, this is exactly why i have a psychosomatic sickness.’ they’re sending my to a psychologist to see if i can let everything out and maybe get some advice on how to handle things better. i will laugh my ass off if i get diagnosed with a mental disorder. that’d be absolutely hilarious (I am in no way trying to make fun of people with a mental disorder, I’m just saying I honestly wouldn’t even be surprised if they said something like Burnout Syndrome or Depression (im not even joking when I say that I’ve been sleeping pretty much all afternoon + night these days, cry way too often, feel no motivation for anything, feel worthless, no apetite and also occasional suicidal thoughts which is oh so fun (ok but in my defence, the thoughts are really rare, probably caused by the fact that I feel nauseous like 90% of the time, and I would never ever do it, mostly because some people would miss me (I hope). there are moments when I go ‘wouldn’t it be easier to disappear?’ tho))

sorry about that rant

MOVING ON TO HAPPIER THEMES (and proper writing):

Yeah, Norway was truly gorgeous ^^ I don’t think I’ve ever felt more at peace than then. I fell asleep in the car at one point while watching the scenery outside, and it was one of the best sleeps in my life, despite being in the car. I’m glad you enjoyed them ^^ If you want, I can upload random pics like that every once in a whole.

Aaah, that’s pretty good reasoning! It makes a lot more sense now, thanks for explaining! 

Yeah, I kinda see why you’d ship it. Steve is a pretty understanding person and, like you said, would probably understand Loki the best ^^ Recommend me some fics and I might even start shipping it myself ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I LOVE T’CHALLA THANK YOU FOR ASKING YES.  I mean, he angery™, but also freaking cool! Not to mention crazily powerful *^* I’m pretty excited for his movie, cause more badassery from him!

Wow those sound like genuine memes. Seriously why can’t i draw XD

Also HIstory has its eyes on you but it’s actually Illumi will give me nightmares.

GODAMNIT I JUST WANT JUUZOU TO BE HAPPY IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?? (apparently yes)

Yep, since I have all the volumes, I like to flip through them sometimes and I’m blown away every time by the development.  I also cosplayed the main character a while ago, so it holds a high sentimental value to me. But it is a lot lighter than your usual reads, true...

Well, uh, it’s kinda hard to explain? I mean, DTK is obsessed with symmetry and will go to crazy lengths to preserve it, get mad if someone disturbs it, will jeopardise missions if he’s not sure if he left something perfectly symmetrically at home etc, but it’s not so much as a mental illness as it is a consequence of who he is (part of the Grim Reaper)? Like i said, it’s really had to explain.

Did you manage to find the fight scene?

My reaction to Death Note in general:  FUCK YOU LIGHT YAGAMI. oooh, I’ll search that manga up!

Well, I’m not so much upset about the whitewashing, more about the fact that I feel like the japanese general ideology plays a big role in why light decided to start killing bad people? Idk how to explain it... 

Oh, Japanese-American Kira would’ve been a really interesting thing to see!

Yay, at least you found some good things? Well, it’s nice that you managed that ^^

Damnit, so it didn’t go according to Keikaku! It’s all because they didn’t include the potato chip scene.

Uuh, i don’t exactly remember much of SU, but I guess I’m most similar to Pearl? I didn’t really sympathise with any characters that much tbh. As for gem. Uuuuuh *quickly googles gem meanings* ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA.  I like Zircon because of the colour and alexandrite because it changes colour which is incredibly cool!

Your rambling always makes me feel better tbh. It gives me a looong message from a friend I appreciate incredibly much so, yeah, I always smile when I see a message from you (even though my replies are so slooooooooow)

Aaah, I see! That’s pretty interesting ^^ Quite different from our system.

Ah, shame, you would’ve liked the most recent route, there is so so so much suffering.

Yeah, I am 100% fine!! Don’t worry about it! The reason why I suggested something else is because on sites w an instant messaging system, my replies would probably be a lot quicker,

I AM IN LOVE WITH THE AESTETHICS, ESPECIALLY LIZZY, THAT IS GOALS

and the drawings are adorable ^^ Hide tho ;-;

#evans #submission