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#plus i want it finished in like 19 days so wish me luck. i'll be giving y'all unnecessary updates as we go
kanerallels · 3 months
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Absolutely weeping and gnashing my teeth over my own hubris the short fic I was writing is now going to be 5 chapters long hOW DO I GET MYSELF INTO THESE SITUATIONS???
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tiriansjewel · 3 years
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find it here on Spotify!
lyric explanations below the cut! (click images for better quality)
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1. The 1 by Taylor Swift
“But it would've been fun
If you would've been the one”
As we start the playlist, Luke and Alex are taking a wistful look back on their relationship in the 90s now that they’ve moved on to other people.
2. Coming Clean by Green Day
“Seventeen and strung out on confusion
Trapped inside a roll of disillusion
I found out what it takes to be a man
Now mom and dad will never understand”
Back in the 90s, both Luke and Alex are coming to terms with their sexualities.
3. Smells Like Teen Spirit
“With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us”
Sunset Curve were working towards popularity right at the height of the grunge scene, and I would assume that both Luke and Alex heard quite a bit of this song as teenagers.
4. Now or Never by Sunset Curve
“Keep dreaming like we'll live forever
But live it like it's now or never”
How could I not include Sunset Curve’s own song? They like living in the moment, and that includes their love lives.
5. Everlong by the Foo Fighters
“And I wonder
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again
The only thing I'll ever ask of you
You've got to promise not to stop when I say when”
When you go through adolescence, you crave intimacy with other people. This song exemplifies what Luke and Alex want from each other- to be able to feel, and to be able to experience those feelings on a deeper level.
6. Ocean Size by Jane’s Addiction
“Wish I was ocean size
They cannot move you, man
No one tries
No one pulls you
Out from your hole
Like a tooth aching a jawbone”
Jane’s Addiction was another LA rock band of this time period, and these lyrics about wanting to be powerful like the ocean and having to leave your home really remind me of Luke.
7. All Apologies by Nirvana
“What else should I be?
All apologies
What else should I say?
Everyone is gay”
This song is Kurt Cobain ironically apologizing for his cynical attitude, including the line “everyone is gay” to mock homophobes. It reminds me of Alex- he doesn’t want to be “married and buried”; he is rebelling against his parents’ definition of a correct lifestyle.
8. Freaking Out The Neighborhood by Max DeMarco
“And I know it's no fun
When your first son
Gets up to no good
Starts freaking out the neighborhood”
Emily Patterson and Alex’s mom were probably both pretty appalled by their sons effectively joining the counterculture. At this point, both Luke and Alex are starting to express themselves more, comfortable in who they are and what they want.
9. Hangout With You by Diners
“All I want
Is to talk with you now
And I know that you've got time
You are constantly on my mind
Yes I know that you've got time
To hang out with me
Tonight”
Luke has begun to realize that he likes Alex, and in true Luke fashion, can’t stop thinking about it.
10. Affection by Between Friends
“I'm laying on the floor
We're drinking 'cause we're bored
Oh, I'm looking for affection in all the wrong places
And we'll keep falling on each other to fill the empty spaces”
One night, it all comes out- their feelings and desires- and they decide to begin some kind of friends with benefits type of situation. This song feels like it’s from Luke’s perspective to me.
11. gold rush by Taylor Swift
“What must it be like
To grow up that beautiful?
With your hair falling into place like dominos
I see me padding 'cross your wooden floors
With my Eagles t-shirt hanging from the door
At dinner parties
I call you out on your contrarian shit
And the coastal town
We wandered 'round had never
Seen a love as pure as it
And then it fades into the gray of my day old tea
'Cause you know it could never be”
Luke is a magnetic person, attracting everyone, and Alex finds him beautiful. He is in awe of him, but he’s also scared about having feelings he doesn’t know how to handle. This song kind of shows Alex’s internal monologue.
12. Can We Kiss Forever? by Kina
“I tried to reach you, I can't hide
How strong's the feeling when we dive
I crossed the ocean of my mind
My wounds are healing with the salt
All my senses intensified
Whenever you and I, we dive”
This song describes their first kiss, obscured from the world, in my mind. Plus, there’s ocean metaphors. You can’t go wrong with that.
13. 18 by Anarbor
“So if you wanna piss off your parents
Date me to scare them
Show them you're all grown up
If long hair and tattoos are what attract you
Baby, then you're in luck
And I know it's just a phase
You're not in love with me
You wanna piss off your parents, baby
That's alright with me”
Luke knows Alex isn’t in love with him, but they both want to try new things. Bonus points for this song having references to frayed parent-child relationships.
14. Boys Will Be Boys by Miles McKenna
“That graduation day, it never came for you and me
Couple drop-out kids, a shotgun wedding's all we need
Sorry, Mom, Sorry, Dad
Better luck next time
A couple packs a day, pierced nose and tattoos on our legs
No strangers to pretend, we've always been too proud to beg
Sorry, Mom, Sorry, Dad
Better luck next time
Boys will be boys”
This song referencing a “couple of drop out kids” just going with the flow made me think of how Sunset Curve probably never would have finished high school.
15. Just Like You by Three Days Grace
“You thought you were there to guide me, you were only in my way
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you
I could be mean
I could be angry
You know I could be just like you.”
Both Luke and Alex have tons of resentment for their parents, obviously.
16. Sunstroke by Less Than Jake
“We've all been living proof
That time won't wait or choose
We know it ticks on without me and you
And I can't have both sides
Letting go or holding tight
I'm burning bright tonight”
This song about being stubborn and time not waiting really reminded me of Luke, plus the foreshadowing of them becoming ghosts and adapting to a whole new world.
17. Saint Bernard by Lincoln
“Saint Calvin told me not to worry about you
But he's got his own things to deal with
There's really just one thing that we have in common
Neither of us will be missed”
This song just made me think about Alex and his Catholic guilt.
18. Bedroom Hymns by Florence and the Machine
“This is a good a place to fall as any
We'll build our altar here
Make me your Maria
I'm already on my knees
You had Jesus on your breath
And I caught Him in mine
Sweating out confessions
The undone and the divine
This is his body, this is his love
Such selfish prayers and I can't get enough, oh”
Part 2 of Alex and his Catholic guilt. Their relationship has become more carnal, and this song maybe gives a little of Alex’s perspective into that time.
19. Church by Fall Out Boy
“And if death is the last appointment
Then we're all just sitting in the waiting room
I am just a human trying to avoid my certain doom
If you were church, yeah
I'd get on my knees”
Here ends the trilogy of songs with religious references. This song is heady and sensual and also includes some nice foreshadowing of their deaths.
20. Bros by Wolf Alice
“Shake your hair, have some fun
Forget our mothers and past lovers, forget everyone
Oh, I'm so lucky, you are my best friend
Oh, there's no one, there's no one who knows me like you do
Are your lights still on?
I'll keep you safe
If you keep me strong”
Here’s another song from Luke’s perspective- talking about forgetting mothers, being best friends, and keeping Alex safe, as long as Alex keeps him strong.
21. Slip Away by Perfume Genius
“Don't look back, I want to break free
If you'll never see 'em coming
You'll never have to hide
Take my hand, take my everything
If we only got a moment
Give it to me now
They'll never break the shape we take
Baby, let all them voices slip away”
Alex struggles with losing his family over his sexuality, and Luke helps him through it.
22. Make Out In My Car by Sufjan Stevens
“I'm not trying to
Go to bed with you
I just wanna make out in my car
And though I'm dying to
Fall in love with you
I just wanna make out in my car”
Another great song about just wanting to exist with someone, about wanting touch and feel and create. They don’t want to fall in love, they just want to be.
23. I Exist I Exist I Exist by Flatsound
“I remember the way you shook
Its a shame that we're not soul mates
Because if i didn't know better
I'd say this feels pretty good
How could i be scared?
When i stretch and feel that you're there
So shut your mouth
Because these words will speak themselves
I can feel them in these blankets
And they're surrounding your figure
Embraced in the quilts
And i cant help but think
You're my missing puzzle piece”
This song is so beautiful- with references to helping a partner through anxiety, and being just like ones mother... a lot of this dynamic in my mind is Luke and Alex reminding each other that they exist, that life is wide and bright, that they’re alive. This gives a window into Luke’s inner feelings as well.
24. Come on, Mess Me Up by Cub Sport
“I found comfort, I fell in love with avoiding problems
But I want this, you know I want this
So come on, mess me up
And you can break me, if you'll still take me
Ruin me, if you'll let me be one of the ones you say you won't forget”
At some point, they become more reckless about their feelings, a little less level headed about their arrangement. Intimacy is an escape.
25. Please Never Fall In Love Again by Ollie MN
“This is what it's like to be lovers
You and me need never be lonely again
Spin with me endlessly or at least until the end
Please never fall in love again”
As usually happens with these arrangements, feelings are caught. Luke and Alex consider making things more serious.
26. Can I Call You Tonight? by Dayglow
“Batteries drain, I get the memo
I think that I might have to let you go
So can I call you tonight?
I'm trying to make up my mind
Just how I feel
Could you tell me what's real?”
The end of their relationship is near, and Alex is unsure. You can decide if this takes place before or after they die.
27. Wicked Game by Chris Isaak
“I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you
And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you
No, I don't wanna fall in love with you”
Eventually these relationships all start to feel like games, don’t they?
28. Perfect by The Smashing Pumpkins
“So far I still know who you are
But now I wonder who I was
Angel, you know it's not the end
We'll always be good friends”
Another song about the end of a relationship, and finding yourself again. There’s a bit of resentment there, but they are learning to be friends again.
29. Miss Missing You by Fall Out Boy
“Maybe I'll burn a little brighter tonight
Let the fire breathe me back to life
Baby you were my picket fence
I miss missing you, now and then”
They’ve gotten over each other and become friends again, but are still nostalgic for the past. Bonus points for references about coming back to life.
30. Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) by Green Day
“For what it's worth
It was worth all the while
It's something unpredictable
But in the end it's right
I hope you had the time of your life”
Ah yes, the song everyone uses to commemorate bittersweet ends- it’s the perfect clincher for this playlist.
I hope you all enjoy listening!
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