#pls stop staring and get your head out of your ass karen

[peaky-shelby]

Delicate | Frank Castle

Previous Episodes: prologue, episode 1, episode 2

Summary: Alex Walker and Frank Castle have one thing in common and that's how delicate they are. He is back but the girls he remembers is gone, could that possibly be his fault

Episode: Call it what you want

Author's note: want to make this into a big story, if you want more lmk pls

Next episode: episode 4

Nobody's heard from me for months

Alexandra pulled the bandage off her fresh wound, groaning when no one was listening in pain and discomfort. She placed a clean one over her skin and threw the different one on the dumpster, sighing in relief. Then she pulled down her shirt, covering her night life with a simple movement and walked out of her bedroom, snatching her bag from the chair.

When she walked in her living room, she jumped in fear when she unexpectedly saw her friend, sitting on the couch, with his cane in between his legs and his glasses on to hide he, probably bruised, eyes. She held on to her chest breathing loudly and stared at him, a bit annoyed.

“I think half of the problems would be sorted if the men in my life learned to knock on the door for a change!”

“Where were you last night?”

She rolled her eyes and threw her bag on the floor- where her table was supposed to be- and walked over to the counter to put some coffee for herself “Couldn’t your antenna reach me then?”

“You know it couldn’t.”

She shrugged “didn’t really think about it, considering I don’t belong to you anymore”

Matt stood up, turning to her direction. “You never belonged to me.”

“I know that. Do you know that?” she asked, taking a bite from an apple she had left on the basket on the counter. Matt lowered his head, biting on his lip.

“I’m trying to protect you.”

“Second thing that would make my problems go away. Men trying to protect me. Why don’t you all take your protection and shove it up your ass instead-“ she threw the apple on the sink and walked quickly back to where she had left her bag, picked it up and went straight for the door. “By the way I’m changing the locks” she said and shut the door, leaving matt alone in her living room.

Matt sat back on the couch, holding tight on his cane and keeping his head low. His facial expression was stiff and his posture gave away how worried he was. His slipped his hand on his pocket and called an unknown number who had called him just a few hours before.

“I need more time.”

•••

Alexandra was listening to music. Shutting out the world since in the last couple of months she would get triggered by tiny things. Feeling her skin shiver, her hair standing up and her thoughts going red.

She walked down the subway, stood in between the normal people like she was normal as well and walked out when she reached her stop.

After cutting all ties, or at least the ones she could, with Matt Murdock she was forced to search for a new career, something she could be good at. Much like Karen had done a while back. Journalism didn’t really fit with her, writing articles wasn’t one of her talents and it required a lot of patience that she didn’t have. She thought about being a nurse, putting her knowledge to use but she didn’t trust herself to stay calm around blood. The sight of dark red still triggered some of her must troubled emotions. After searching a while, she found herself the perfect fit.

“Oh Lexie! Thank goodness! I have to run, my grandson had a fall in school. His parents can’t go, so I must go, you understand.”

Alexandra left her bag on the chair by the counter, which was filled with flowers and half finished bouquets.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of the rest.”

“Thank you darling.”

Alex would spend her morning hours with greens instead of reds. Planting seeds instead of bullets. The irony of it hadn’t slipped her attention and sometimes she found herself laughing about but she was proud of her profession, proud of what she was doing and the way she had found to sooth herself even at the worst times.

She took one of the pots and started clearing the plants, cutting and sharpening wherever it was needed, her mind taken off the usual troubles. Focused on her craft she completely missed the entrance of a woman in the shop and only when she heard her chuckling, she stopped. She kept her head low even then, annoyed and even a little angry.

“cute.”

Alex left down her scissors and looked up, biting on her tongue. The woman across from her didn’t look much different from what she remembered. Her short curly hair hid her wound very well and eyes remained as cold as she remembered, always searching for justice.

“what do you want here?”

“I know he’s back.”

Alex laughed, moved away from the counter with the pot and left it on the ground. “I’m not his secretary you know.”

“I need to talk to him Alex.”

“get in line.” She whispered picking up another pot and digging in the mud.

Madani walked around the flower shop, crossing her arms and looking at the plants. “one way or another you always get your hands dirty Walker. Whether its blood or mud, some things never change.” Madani sat down, in the chair that was meant for the costumers while Alex kept working on her plants. “do you know where he is?”

“No.”

“Did he join you last night?”

Alex stood still. Glimpses coming back to her from yesterday’s night, her wound stinking under her clean clothes. “Last night I was in my bedroom watching the Notebook. Frank would rather torture over it.”

Madani laughed, leaning closer to the counter “how long you think you can keep this silly play up before you end up like Castle? Running from the law, owing favors left and right. You’re turning into him-“

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Dinah and frankly, I don’t care. I don’t know where Frank is, I don’t know what he’s up to and I got scars to prove that he doesn’t care all that much about me either.”

“Listen to me. I’m not the enemy, I’m not here to hurt him-“ Alex turned away from her and walked at the back of the store where she was met with an unexpected visitor, she held in her gasp as he grabbed her to his chest, putting his hand over her mouth to keep her silent “I need him to meet with Russo.” Continued Dinah. Frank let go Alex slowly, allowing her to face him. She made a fist her hands, forcing herself to remain still so she wouldn’t punch him. In that moment they were so close to each other, looking at each other, with all kinds of excuses. “He’s lying to us, pretending he doesn’t remember so we will pity him.” Frank reached for her arm but Alex shook him off immediately and grabbed one of the empty pots on the floor, walking out without saying anything. “he has a plan” said Dinah when she joined her again.

Alex placed the larger plot on the counter, paying little attention to what the woman was saying. Dinah stood up, she pulled her hair behind her ear, her scar was almost evident when Alex looked at her. A sudden glimpse of that night came back to her and she felt a pain in her chest, she placed her hand there out of instinct. Madani must have noticed considering her next question “You still get nightmares too, don’t you?”

“Nothing like yours.”

“I have a bad feeling Alex. A storm is coming and we are in the center of it. Billy is playing us, how can a person forget all the evil he’s done that easy? Frank needs to see him. Just gave him that message when he comes to you again.” Madani turned to leave, Alex made a step forward.

“He never told you did he? What happened to me.”

Madani looked at her, narrowing her eyes.

“I was in an accident, a long time ago. I got hit in the head, I lost everything. My name, my family, my life. You have no idea what that does to a person. If you’re afraid that he’s lying then you’re a fool. You should be more scared of him telling the truth.” Alex walked closer “because if he is then you’re no longer against a person, you’re against a monster far worse than he ever was before.”

Madani stared at her, crossing her arms to her chest “just tell frank to come and see me.” With that she left and a few minutes after her exit Alex heard frank coming out of the shadows. She didn’t turn to face him or say anything until he did.

“I know you do not want to speak to me so I’ll do the talking and then I’ll go.”

Alex picked up a bunch of roses and white flowers and left them on he counter. She started placing them next to each other carefully, to make it into a bouquet.

“I’m on the trail of a big job. Woman trafficking.” Her hands froze. She held on her breath. He walked around the counter so he would be facing her “They take little girls and train them.” Her eyes shot up, she gripped on the roses, the thorns piercing her skin. “I need your help Alex-“

“I can’t” she said quickly, it came out as a whisper, a complain. He walked back next to her and held her hands, pulling them away from the roses. She avoided his eyes, staring at the ground.

“It could be the same people that held you-“

“Shut up!” she snapped, pulling her hands away “just shut up! I can’t do this; I can’t be around you.” Her pulse started beating faster, her breathing louder “we can never be a team again Frank. I don’t trust myself around you anymore.” He tried reaching for her, she slapped his hand away “you don’t understand, do you? What happened to me after you left! I can’t control myself anymore- you let the beast out, you were the only one that could tame and then you left!”

“And now I’m back and I have evidence that you can use-“

“I don’t care about your fucking evidence! I don’t want it-“ her voice cracked, her eyes started to hurt, tears pushing to be let out in sobs “I don’t want any of it anymore! Because I can’t take it, I thought I could, I wanted to be able to but I can’t” her voice trembled “so please, just leave.”

Frank stood still for a moment, staring at her and then he turned and left. Alex looked at her palms, which were full of thorns and cursed under her sobs.

Frank sat in his car, laying his head back on the seat. He took in a loud breath and watched over the window at the flower shop. He couldn’t understand what happened to her, what had changed but there was definitely something different. There was always madness in her, he always knew that. First time he had seen it was in her bathroom but he could control it too because she let him. They completed each other in that way, her madness made him feel sane and she was always there to help him, eager too.

The night that everybody thought that he had murdered Reyes and Tepper, he stopped her on the street while she was on her way to Karen Page. It was the first time she looked like she had little faith in him, almost like a part of her believed that he was the one that did it.

“You friend is the next target.”

“Stay away from Karen.”

“I’m trying to protect her. They will come for her and they will come for you and anyone who is digging into the story.”

“That’s what happens when you raddle trees with fucking snakes on them Frank. People get attacked.”

“Listen to me- It wasn’t me! You’ve trusted me before, I need you to do it, one last time.”

And she did she led him to Karen’s safe house and he was right. There was an attack on her life a few moments after. While they all stood in her room each trying to convince each other of something, bullets started falling through the windows. Alex jumped on frank to pull him down, who fell on Karen, pushing her on the floor. Alex cuddled herself as the bullets hit the glass, waiting for the storm to pass. Frank watched her as he shielded Karen, terrified that she would go through the same panic attack she did when they first met but she didn’t. when the gun fire was over, she reached for Karen.

“Are you ok?”

“I’m fine.”

Frank moved away from them, sitting down, breathing loudly. Alex gave him a look and he nodded, letting her know he was fine as well.

“We need to move.”

“Go where? Everyone is looking for you Castle!” Karen held her head. “And me apparently”

“maybe that’s a good thing.” Whispered Alex and looked at frank with an intense gaze. Frank didn’t need long to realize what she was saying and neither did Karen who was completely against the idea.

“Are you both insane?”

“don’t tell matt about this.” She got on her knees and got Karen’s gun from the floor. “I’ll see you tomorrow”

“Alex… this is too dangerous.”

“That’s why you’re gonna stay here. Let me and frank take over.”

“its not a good idea.”

“It’s the only one we have.”

Somehow, he and she always found themselves caught up in situations with very few and very bad ideas it didn’t stop them. They drove to a dinner close by and frank could still remember the silence. Similar to the one right now, in his empty car and he had reached his destination before he had even realized where he was driving to.

He got out of the car shutting the door and pulled up his hoodie to hide his face. He stood in front of the familiar building, reading the golden sign “Nelson and Murdock, Attorneys at law”. He put aside his doubts about what he was doing and entered the building.

•••

Matt was sitting on his desk, reading some legal documents, striking his fingers across the dots on the white pages when suddenly he heard steps out of the office, going back and forth and a beating heart, an anxious heart. Then there was a knock, foggy opened the door, his breathing got faster, he started sweating.

“Is he here?” he recognized the voice immediately. Frank Castle. He closed the folders in front of him, listened to the exchange of the two men on the inside room, preparing himself to meet frank. He thought about the last time he had met him, in Alex’s house. They fought that night, broke her table, 9 months ago and from what he knew she still hadn’t gotten a new one.

Frank came in his office, very confident in his movements. He closed the door without saying anything and sat across from him. At some point he reached for the cookies matt had on his desk and got one for himself. Meanwhile matt could feel his eyes on him, staring at him.

“So are you blind or not, because I am confused.” He asked while chewing on the cookie. Matt took in his scent, similar to the one he’d caught in Alex’s house this morning. “How does it work?” frank stretched his hand to get another cookie but matt reached the dish faster and pulled it away from frank and closer to himself. He heard him scoff and lay back on his chair.

“Something in between” he answered coldly “what are you doing here?”

Frank licked the chocolate of his fingers “we only have one thing in common. So, what do you think?”

“Since when do you come to me when you need her?” he tilted “is it ever since you abandoned her-“

Frank leaned forward, hitting his hand on the desk and pointed at matt “you told me not to come up with you!”

“its been 9 months and you couldn’t even send a text”

“Now you wanted me to text her? You must be the most confusing man I’ve ever met in my life!” frank got up and paced around the room “you know I did what I had to do. Don’t blame me if it backfired at you.”

“And what do you want now?”

“I’m close to an organization. Human trafficking. Little girls.” Matt raised his head. Suddenly very interested about what he was saying “I met a girl about a month ago. She sent to kill me.”

“Why?”

“Because I was digging on the wrong people’s garbage. You know how it is, don’t you?”

Matt reached for a pen he had on his desk, holding tight on to it “and did you kill her?”

Frank turned and looked at matt “I almost did. Then I looked in her eyes and all I could see was emptiness, zero purpose. It reminded me of Lexie.” He started moving back to his chair “so I kept her around to ask some questions. She didn’t make a lot of sense…” he sat down “but she said something about an organization.” Matt held tighter on the pen “and then, right in front of my eyes, she died.” He got another cookie throwing it in his mouth and chewing slowly.

Matt threw the pen he was holding on the desk and stood up. He drew a hand over his mouth and chin and then put his hands on his hips.

“You look a little freaked out Red.” He licked his thumb to get rid of the chocolate “it wouldn’t be because you already knew about this, would it?”

Matt bit on his tongue, holding back the things he wanted to say to him. “Did you go to Alex with this?”

“I tried. But she says, she wants no part in this.”

Matt stretched out his hand “and that’s for the best.” Frank laughed “you don’t understand the size of what you are messing with Frank! Listen to me- you don’t want to be part of this! There’s reason I kept Alex away from this and-“

“Have been lying to her ever since you met her when you knew exactly where she was coming from!”

“Believe it or not it was for her safety.”

“I don’t care about you reasons Red” he leaned forward “and I don’t care about your objections!”

“Then why are you here?”

“Because she deserves to know the truth and she deserves to be there when I bring that shit to the ground!” Matt laughed, shaking his head. “You think I am joking around Murdock?”

“I think you are a damn fool if you think its gonna be that easy.” He balanced his hands on the desk “and if you think I’ll have any part in convincing Alex to go with you.” He pointed a him “twice you’ve left her for dead. One time in the docks and the other on the carrousel- maybe she is tired of dying for you, have you thought of that?”

“that’s what you think I am here for? I don’t need you to convince her, I need to understand what the hell happened while I was away because the girl I met today, is nothing like the one I knew.”

“she’s going through a hard time-“

“A hard time?” he scoffed and stood up, waving his hand “did you know she goes out alone fighting gangs by herself- she killed two people in front of me the other night. So don’t fuck with me-“

“I’m trying to fix it!”

“she’s not a broken toy Murdock! What the fuck are you fixing? What the fuck is going on-“

Foggy opened the door, interrupting them. Frank gave him a quick glance and then turned his back on him “we have to go to court. We are late.”

Matt picked his suit from his chair and put it on, he picked up his bag with all the documents and he left without answering any of his questions. He walked down the stairs quickly with foggy on his side and when he reached the outside world, he let out a heavy breath, relaxing his tie and leaning forward, holding on to the nearest wall.

“What’s wrong?” asked foggy, the worry on his voice was evident.

“Nothing-“ her heartbeat, slow and weak, echoed in his ears. Along side, the sound of blood gushing out her open wound. The feeling of uselessness he felt. Foggy put a hand on his shoulder.

“You want water?”

“No, I’m fine. Everything’s fine!” he stood straight again and sneak his arms around foggy’s, letting him lead him to his car.

•••

The one place she hated most in the world were hospitals. There was no other place that killed hope quicker than this. Alex kept her eyes on the floor while walking, she didn’t want to see anybody’s face. She snuck herself in one of closets the nurses kept their robes and grabbed one of them, putting it on and pulling her hair up on a pun. When she came out, she looked to her right and a doctor who had his glasses hanging from the pocket on his chest was coming towards her. She walked quickly in his direction, making sure to note the name he had written on his ID card and then bumping on to him and snatching his glasses while apologizing for the accident. The doctor waved her off and she moved along. She put on the glasses and made a turn, when she saw a nurse going in the room she wanted to go.

She caught up to her, pulling her arm. The woman turned around and Alex read her name on her ID card “Lily, Dr. Ford asked for you?” she said confidently.

“What the hell does he want? I’m doing a routine check up!”

“Something about a patient. Yesterday’s incident.”

Lily sighs and hands her the folder with the patience’s information. “Finish this for me. Hey, boys-“ lily looked at the security guards standing in front of the door “she’s taking over for today.”

The guards nodded and opened the door, letting her walk in the room. Too easy, she thought to herself while walking inside. The door shut closed behind her, she jumped at the sound, her eyes closing out of instinct. When she opened them again the room was dark, silent. She could see ghosts standing by the corners, memories in shadows and the silence allowed for the noises in her head to get louder. Whispers, screams, her name.

She shook her head and focused on what she was holding, a folder. She walked closer to the patient laying on the bed, unmoved. She got to the window, opened the curtains, the patient whined when the light got up to him and she turned to look at him.

Billy Russo, tilted his head enough to be able to see her, for the first time she saw his scars, she gasped, the folder dropping from her hands.

She saw it with her own eyes and now it was replaying in her head, frank pushing against the mirror, dragging his face along the shattered glass, his screams, his cries and Frank relentless, pushing harder. She moved back to the window, holding on the railings they’d put there for protection and tried to catch her breath, remove the sigh from her mind.

“Who are you?” asked Billy, his voice weak but loud enough.

So Madani was right he didn’t remember anything. Goddamn she knew that feeling all too well. She took in a deep breath and moved away from the window closer to him, she kept her gaze on the floor, avoiding his face.

“We met a long time ago.”

“I can’t remember.” He mumbled.

She raised her hand, held on the bed. “that’s alright.” She answered, finally lifting her eyes to look at his scar and every part of her wanted to throw up but she held back “I was there when you got these.”

“The scars?” Billy moved a little on his bed, tried to sit better “you know who did it?”

“I do.” She whispered.

“Was it you?”

“no.” she sat on the edge of the bed “but some nights I wish it was.” She abruptly grabbed his throat, her grip staying tight around his neck. He started struggling, kicking and punching the air but he was nowhere near as strong as he used to. ��you killed me that night- if you can’t remember anything else remember that and when you are struggling with shadows and faces and colors you can’t even recognize, remember that If you dare to walk out this hospital, ill come for you and cut your face in half!” she let his face drop back and left the room. Not looking back.

#currently reading #frank castle oneshot #frank castle x reader #frank castle #frank castle imagine #matt murdock x reader #matt murderdock #matt murdock #daredevil x oc #daredevil #daredevil one shot #marvel cinematic universe #marvel characters #marvel fic

[xaphrin]

Damian was fighting to keep his eyes on the road and his heart in his chest. Next to him sat Raven, looking so damn pretty it hurt to breathe, and he found himself wanting to stare at her the whole ride to the animal shelter. He glanced at her from the corner of his eye and saw a lock of hair had fallen from her bun, brushing against the curve of her cheek. His fingers itched to brush it away, but… right. They weren’t those kinds of friends. 

For the hundredth time that night, he silently promised himself he was doing to keep his heart intact. He might have been head-over-heels in love with her, but that didn’t mean she loved him back, and he wasn’t willing to risk his own feelings just yet. Damian cleared his throat and shifted in his seat, his hands gripping the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles turned white. 

“So.” He needed to talk, if only to fill the silence that was growing between them. Otherwise the rest of this night was going to be painfully awkward.

Raven turned and looked at him, her lips pulling down into a frown. “What?”

“How’s your senior thesis coming along?” School seemed a safe topic, so he’d stick with that. “What was it on again? Emily Dickinson?”

Raven’s face fell and she turned to look at him, obviously insulted. “Do you think every female literature student does their senior thesis on Emily Dickinson?” 

“I don’t know. I’m not a literature student.” Damian tried to sound nonchalant, as if he didn’t really care, but mentally he was kicking himself. Honestly, he couldn’t remember what she said she was working on, because every time she started talking about it, her eyes lit up and she got this excited almost dreamy expression on her face, and Damian got lost in her. She was easy to get lost in. He bit the inside of his cheek and looked over at her, forcing his expression to remain neutral. “You’re applying to grad school, right?” 

“Yeah, actually.” She looked surprised that he remembered, and fidgeting with the strap on her purse, as if suddenly nervous. “I submitted my application last week. But, I have a few more weeks before I find out if I got into the program.” 

“You know you’ll get in.” Damian stared up at a red light, refusing to look at her. If he did, he knew he’d forget everything he was supposed to say to her. How in the world could she break him like this? “I don’t know why you’re so worried. You’re the smartest, most inspired student in the whole program.”

“Was that… a compliment, Damian Wayne?” Her voice was teasing, almost playful, and it made his stomach twist. Raven shifted and stared out the windshield, a small smile playing on her lips. “We’ve been fighting each other for the better part of four years, and you actually complimented me. Well, shit. I guess I owe Conner ten bucks.” 

At the sound of Conner’s name, Damian frowned. He remembered Conner’s soft touches and soft, lopsided smiles at Raven, and Damian shifted in his seat. Maybe there was more to their relationship. “Are you two… together?”

Raven snorted. “With Conner? No.” She glanced back at him, her dark eyes searching his face. “I mean sure, he’s fun and cute, and he almost out-bid you at the auction-”

Damian gave her a flat stare. Of course she was going to bring that up.

“-but no.” She paused, as if suddenly realizing that was a very personal question. Her eyebrows knitted together and she stared at him. “Why do you ask?”

He shrugged, hoping he looked unaffected by her or her suspicion. “No reason. I just noticed you were a bit more chummy with him over the last few parties.” Jealousy, thick and viscous spilled into his chest, and Damian forced himself to breathe just to ignore it. “I thought maybe you two had hooked up or something.”

“Oh, god no.” Raven shook her head, color leaving her face as she forced out a bark of laughter. “Trust me. I made the mistake of dating a frat boy once. Never again will I wander down that road.” 

Damian jerked and looked over at her, surprised. “What? Who did you date?” 

“Gar. For all of six weeks during freshman year.” She lifted an eyebrow. “Do you not remember? You teased us relentlessly. I think half the reason we broke up was to get you to shut up and leave up alone.”

Memories flooded his thoughts, and Damian felt heat crawl up his neck. Ah, no. He remembered. It was definitely not one of his finer moments, but it had been before he understood what his feelings really were towards Raven. He remembered being angry and jealous, and he didn’t want to see them together, he just didn’t understand why. It wasn’t until months later that he realized he liked Raven. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Yeah… I’m sorry about that.”

Raven seemed surprised by his apology, but she chose not to tease him about it. Instead, she shrugged and glanced away. “It’s fine. It never would have worked out between us anyway. That relationship was doomed from the start. Gar is still getting his life together, and I can’t wait for that. I don’t want to wait for that.” She paused as if realizing something, and looked back at Damian. “Why did you join the frat in the first place? I mean, you’re a legacy student, rich as all get out, and could have rented a swank apartment just off campus. You don’t need to join a fraternity.” 

Damian shrugged. “Father belonged to the same one when he was in college, and he thought it would be good for business connections and my… social skills.” He rolled his eyes. 

Raven laughed. “Social skills. Ah. So you’ve always had this stick up your ass? Good to know it’s not a recent development.” 

Damian glanced over at her and tried to glare, but her smile melted whatever annoyance filled him. He blinked and looked away, turning down a side street towards the animal shelter. He swallowed and felt the confession bubble up before he could stop it. “I’m going to grad school too.” 

Raven hummed, but the sound was playful. “Are you telling me I have at least three more years of you? Three more years of you harping on my reading choices?” 

“At least.” He smirked. “I’ll make sure to bother you whenever I get the chance.” 

“Are you going to stay in the frat house?”

“Probably not. I’m getting a little too old for that. The freshmen parties keep me up way too late.” 

“Careful, Dami. Otherwise I’m going to start thinking you’re an old man.” 

He gave her a flat stare, but tried not to crow at the playful nickname she offered. “What about you? Are you staying with Karen and Donna?”

“No.” Raven shook her head. “Karen is taking an internship in San Francisco, and Donna is going to Europe to work with her family’s company.” A pensive, sad expression filled her face. “If I get accepted, I’ll have to find somewhere to live before I start.”

The offer fell out of his mouth before he could stop it. “You could stay with me.” 

Oh god. No. Panic filled his chest and tried to think of a way to make it a joke, but nothing came to mind. Instead he sat there and watched as several expressions of confusion colored Raven’s face. 

Raven snorted. “As what? Your maid?”

“No.” Why did his mouth insist on talking? He couldn’t stop talking, and he needed to right now. “I mean… as roommates. I have the money and the space is easy to find. You need somewhere to stay. You’re clean and quiet, and you’d stay out of my business.” Damian finally breathed. Safe. “You’d be the perfect roommate. Like having a cat you never see.” 

She rolled her eyes. “Gee, when you put it like that, how can I refuse? Be still my beating heart.” 

He shrugged. “The offer stands. If you can’t find a place before fall, let me know.” 

Raven laughed. “You know. I’ll do it. I’ll be your roommate just to annoy you.” She smirked and looked over at him, finally tucking that stray lock of hair behind her ear. “Put flavored creamer in my coffee every morning.”

“How many times do I have to say that you don’t sully good coffee with cheap creamer?” He seethed and pulled into the parking lot, shoving the car into park. “It’s a waste of good coffee.” 

She laughed again and unbuckled her seatbelt. “I’ll make sure I have every single flavor in the fridge. Even down to the disgusting seasonal flavors. Pumpkin Spice. Egg Nog. Mint Chocolate.” 

“That’s it.” Damian flung open his car door and stepped out, glaring at her over the roof of his car. “The offer has been officially revoked. You are no longer allowed to be my roommate.” 

Raven laughed and followed him into the animal shelter, her steps uneven. Damian glanced down at her and realized her clothes didn’t fit quite right. Which meant she was probably wearing Donna’s shoes as well as Donna’s dress. His heart did something weird in his chest, and he realized that Raven had dressed up for him. Something like excitement and pride mixed together, and he found himself wanting to kiss her. Of course, he always wanted to kiss her, but right now… he was ready to throw caution to the wind and make out with her right on the animal shelter steps. 

“Kittens.” 

Her voice was soft and strained, as if she was trying to contain her excitement, and it pulled Damian deeper into his internal struggle to not fall in love with her any more. He glanced up to see Raven taking a shy step forward, looking through the window at the kitten and cat room. They lounged on trees and in beds, watching her with a curious expression. For a moment, he stood there and let this memory burn in his head. Raven’s eyes were wide and bright, and a soft smile played on her lips. She looked… cute. Too cute. His heart twisted even more in his chest and he guided her to the front door. 

He smirked and held open the door for her. “You can pet them, you know.”

Raven glanced up at him, and Damian was pretty sure his insides were now permanently mush. She looked so eager, and he wanted to get her whatever she wanted just to keep that expression on her face. 

“It’s gonna take me a bit to get the paperwork completed for the donation.” He was trying not to look completely and utterly enamored with her, but knew he was probably failing. “Go play with the cats.” 

Her eyes widened for a moment, before her face fell back into a stern expression, poking him in the chest. “This stays between us.”

“That you turn into a small child at the sight of a kitten?” He forced a sarcastic smile. “You think I’m not going to take a picture of you and put it all over the internet.” He wasn’t, but she didn’t know that. “I can see the headline now: Resident Hardass, Raven Roth, Actually has a Soft Side.”

Before he could blink, Raven reached into his pants pocket and yanked out his cell phone, holding it up in front of his face. “I’ll keep this until we leave. Consider it collateral.” Sticking out her tongue at him, she shoved his phone into her bra and out of his reach, before turning around and heading to play with the cats.

“Your girlfriend is cute.” 

Damian turned and looked at the office worker who had come out to meet him, and he didn’t bother correcting the assumption. Raven was cute, and he desperately wanted her as his girlfriend.

He finished up with the donation, writing out the check and posing for a few promotional photos with workers from the animal shelter. But his thoughts were thirty feet away, with Raven as she moved around the room, playing with cats. Damian stood there for a few minutes and watched her, all spread out on the floor, cats and kittens crawling over her and making her light up and smile so damned bright. Damian stared at her, his heart so heavy and so full that breathing hurt. He didn’t understand how he could protect his heart anymore. 

He was irrevocably in love with her, and it was only going to hurt him to keep denying it. 

Raven looked up and saw him standing there. She picked up a kitten that had been crawling up her back, and set it on the floor before stepping out of the room to meet him. She was covered in cat fur, and that somehow only made her cuter. He was so damn gone for her. 

“You’re a mess.” He said, shaking his head with a laugh. “And you desperately need a lint roller.”

Damian went and borrowed one from the front desk clerk, taking time to roll off the back of her dress and her skirt. The whole act felt strangely intimate, but Raven didn’t seem to mind. Instead she was laughing, twisting away when he found a ticklish spot near her side. Forgetting who he was, Damian wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her back to him, running the lint roller over her stomach and letting himself bathe in her joy. She felt like liquid sunshine in his arms, happy and honest, and so unlike the usual studious hardass she was. His world was shifting even more, and Raven was standing in the center like a beacon. 

“Careful, Dami.” Her voice was soft and breathy from laughter, and she smelled of lavender and vanilla. God. He could feel her heat spilling through his clothes and warming him in the best way possible. She turned in his arms and plucked the lint roller from his hand, tilting her face up to meet his own. Her lips shifted to the side, and she poked a finger in his chest. “People might get the wrong idea about us.” 

His mind was filled with one thought: Let them. 

#damirae #demonbirds #college au #LOOK CATS! #I know this is saccharine and too sweet #BUT LET ME HAVE THIS #please #also I'm so sorry #dialogue is not my strong point #so I hope this isn't too bad #thank you for letting me just make terrible decisions

[starkerfortwo]

OKAY im sorry thi sis late to be posted but I’m really busy at the moment. These prompts are for @swankyspankyhankypanky panky i tried reallyhard to come up wih a good story line for you! Happy valentines day! @starker-valentines

So I know this isn't exactly the original prompts, but I'm a bad writer and before I knew I had written this, I'd already done it, so I'm very sorry, hope you enjoy this though!!! Prompt 2

Tones Hey sweets, I'm picking you up at 7, be ready!

Peter Oof, wish I could, but I'm at the library with Ned and MJ studying for midterms. I'm free at nine tho

Tony sighed and switched his car onto automatic.

Tony Really? Okay, I'll pick you up at nine outside the library, where'd you wanna go?

Peter sure and hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm maybe Delmars? Pretty pretty please with sugar on top

Tony How can I say no to you? If you want to then sure, but if that cat bites me one more time

Peter You'll do what? Go all IronMan on a cat's ass? Pshhhh okay, now stop distracting me I rly have to study

Tony But bothering you is so so so so fun. But if you insist. I love yoy

You*

Peter I love yoy too Tony. Yoy, im dead

Peter laughed at his phone and slid it back into his pocket. "Did Tony say something hot?" Peter looked at Ned with a disgusted face "Ned, gross dude. And no he just made a typo" MJ rolled her eyes "You two are gross, but It's kinda cute so I feel you" Peter smiled and picked up a textbook. "So, what's the sweetest thing Tonys done?" Flash asked hooking his arm around Liz's shoulders. "Sweetest? I don't know man, on our first date he serenaded me with a song" "That's not sweet. Come on! What was the thing that you couldn't stop smiling about for weeks afterward?" Ned asked leaning forwards.  "Well, our first time do-" "STOP" Flash shouted covering his ears as Peter chuckled to himself.

Peter Pls save me, they're all asking me about our love life. It's excruciating

Tony Want me to come and blow them away with my awesomeness?

Peter Yes please, I managed to shut them up by talking about our sex life but Ned seems to be plotting his next question.

Tony I'm parking the car

Peter looked up to the door and smiled at the sight of Tony Stark walking in. "I believe people were talking about me" He smiled sitting down on the chair next to Peter. "Hey, Mr. Stark," Ned said flashing him 'Please accept me for an internship' smile. "Relax, Ned, I shouldn't tell you this but you got the Internship" Ned let out a scream and was quickly hushed by the librarian "So, Mr. Stark, what do you think is the sweetest thing you ever did for Peter?" Flash asked returning his hand to Liz. "Hmm, I think It would be the night that Peter called me Tony for the first time"

2 YEARS EARLIER

"Mr. Stark I'm a big boy I don't need you to keep on saving me from fights," Peter said in protest, landing on a rooftop in downtown New York. "You're a baby, and that wasn't a fight, that was an attack that was specifically planned to target you" Peter tensed his face up "You could've taken those guys on so why can't I?" Peter argued ripping off his mask and letting the brown curls fly around his face. "Because I'm more experienced than you and I have an iron suit. Yours is... spandex" Tony pointed out stepping out of his suit and onto the ground as Peter took a step back. "You helped me create this suit so technically It's not my fault that I don't have a stronger suit. And that's not what you said when I fought Captain America" "I've said this before and I'll say this again, if Cap wanted to take you down, he would've" "Yes but he didn't. Can you just accept the fact that I might be more mature than you think? Why won't you let me fight the bad guys? I took on Thanos when we were stuck on Titan!" Tony scrunched his face up "Because Peter, I can't lose you again! I watched you die in my arms and I was waiting for the time that I would go and help save you in any other fucking world that you had gone to, but I didn't! I couldn't save you Kid, I never want to lose you again, you mean to much to me!" Peter stared at Tony. "I'm sorry, I am, you just, you need to let me do this stuff okay? If I'm really in danger, Karen will let you know" Tony didn't say anything just embraced Peter in a hug "Don't die, kid, please don't. I can't lose you too" "I won't Tony"

"That wasn't something sweet that you did, that was just a sweet moment between us" Peter scoffed turning to Tony. "I saved your life! I think that counts as being sweet" Tony argued turning his head. "Okay then, Peter, what was the sweetest thing you did for Tony?" MJ asked, suddenly intrigued in their love lives. "Oh, for sure the time that Tony said 'I love you peter Paker' for the first time"

A year earlier.

"Wassup Tony," Peter said sliding on the hard wooden floor in his pink fluffy socks. "Morning Peter, why are you in such a good mood?" Tony asked pouring himself a cup of coffee "Well if you must know, I have a date" Tony's heart dropped to his ass, figuratively but still, as peter announced he had a date. "Cool cool, who with?" Peter smiled "Quinten Beck, I met him on Tinder and he's hot as hell!" Tony covered up his disappointment with a smile. "I'm happy for you kid, I'm going down to the lab"

three hours later.

"FRIDAY has Peter returned from the date?" Tony asked attaching a string to a door and slamming it shut making a crate fall "No, he never left the tower, he is sobbing on the couch upstairs" Tony paused "He's what?" He asked again unsure if he heard her right "Sobbing upstairs" Tony left the crate and rushed upstairs. "Peter? Peter, what's wrong?" Tony asked trying to console the hyperventilation young adult on his couch. "Beck canceled the date, he told me that I was ugly and too nerdy" Peter sobbed, resting his head in the crook of Tony's neck. "When I find that lil bitch" Tony whispered. "Why am I not good enough? Is there something wrong with me? Why does no one like me?!" Peter shouted sobbing harder. "Oh Peter, you're good enough and everyone is crazy to not see that, you're perfect peter" Tony whispered, "Then why does no one like me?" He cried out "They do" "Who Tony! Who likes me?! I'm just some ugly person" Peter screamed coming up for some air "Me Peter! I like you. No actually. I love you, Peter Parker. I always have and I always will"

"That was sweet, but that wasn't something you did for Tony" Nd pointed out, yawning in his seat whilst Betty rested her head on him. "Yeah I guess it was, I don't know actually, either I'm a shit boyfriend or Tony just doesn't tell me when I'm sweet" Tony laughed and pecked Peter's cheek. "I know what one of the sweetest things peter ever did was."

one month earlier.

"TONY!" Peter screeched from the lab. "BOI IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE RIGHT THIS VERRY FUCKING SECOND I WILL END OUR RELATIONSHIP!" Tony raced down the stairs and into the lab where he was met by Peter standing over an Iron Man suit "Yes my love? Something wrong?" Peter's eyes went soft at the sight of Tony's sleepless eyes and dropped shoulders. "Baby, when was the last time you slept?" Peter asked moving slowly towards Tony. "Like, seventy-two hours ago" Peter sighed and took the white blanket off of his shoulders and wrapped it around Tony's shoulders. "Come on, let's go to bed" Tony sulked and let Peter lift him off of his feet and carry him upstairs. "You know what's not fair" Tony yawned "What?" "The fact that you're younger and smaller than me, yet so much stronger than me" Peter laughed "Blame the radioactive spider for that one" Tony chuckled and felt his body sink into the memory foam mattress "I don't want to sleep" Tony sighed sleepily barely able to keep his eyes open. "Why?" Peter asked wrapping his arms around Tony "Because every time I close my eyes I see you slipping away in my arms. I can't keep reliving that Peter" Tony cried pulling Peter down to his eyesight. "Tony, hey Tony, look at me." Tony brought his eyes up to look at Peter. "I'm not leaving. I'm never leaving. You are my home, I love you and I always will. You're not going to lose me again. We won. He's dead." Tony sobbed quietly "I love you" He whispered falling asleep. "I love you too" Peter whispered back.

"Yeah, I have to admit that was pretty sweet of me to do" Peter laughed resting his head on Tony's lap. "It was, so tell me, what midterm do you all have first?" Tony asked gently caressing Peter's hair. "Peter has Law then Bioengineering. I have Law and physics, MJ has human relations, Liz has technology, and Flash has English Lit" Ned explained yawning gently. "That sucks for all of you." Tony laughed "Hey if we leave now we can still make our reservation" Peter whispered looking up at Tony. "You sure?" Peter nodded and looked up. "I hate to cut this short, but me and Tony-" "Tony and I" "Yes, thank you MJ, have a dinner reservation to attend, so we will be fucking off and I won't see you for the rest of this night" Tony smiled as Peter grabbed his hand and ran out the door. "I love you" Tony whispered "I love you too Tony" Peters's lips met Tonys in a sweet sensual kiss. "Come on, let's go"

Prompt 1

"Good morning handsome" Tony smiled as Peter rubbed his eyes. "Mornin' what time is it?" "The time is currently twelve minutes past nine in the morning" Peter rolled his eyes and slumped his head back on the pillow but evidentially rolling over and burying his face in the crook of Tony's neck. "I'm tired." He whined, feeling Tony's arms wrap around him. "I know, but, guess what" Peter looked up at his boyfriend "You're taking me out of college and whisking me away to a holiday in LA?" Tony smiled and kissed the tip of Peter's nose. "Nope, but I am taking you training today" Peter groaned again "In what universe is training better than a holiday" Peter deadpanned sitting up straight and pulling one of Tonys AC/DC shirts over his head "My universe. Hurry up, Peppers gonna be here in five" Peter whined for the fifth time in the time-space of an hour and sulked his way over to the chest of drawers currently holding all of his things. Since Peter and Tony had started dating, Peter had been slowly moving objects from his room into Tonys. A couple of CD's stacked up on the desk, along with some chemistry books, and some clothes. So far they hadn't been caught. Plus, they only had three months until Peter's twenty-first birthday when they could finally announce that they had been dating.  They just needed to keep it a secret for now. "Hey, I love you" Tony smiled lifting peters head up by his chin and kissing his softly "I love you too. I'm gonna shower though because I smell" Tony laughed "Yeah, you do" They stayed there for a moment, staring at each other and smiling. "Tony! You need to sign off- oh hi Peter" Both men separated quickly trying to cover it up by Tony fakely handing Peter a biology book on cells and reproduction. "Um hi Miss Potts I was just getting a book from To- Mr. Stark" Pepper smiled fondly "That's okay Peter." Peter smiled meekly at Tony and Pepper as he slipped out the bedroom door. "Fuck" He breathed out.

Peter dodged a punch and swung from one corned to the other. "Come on, babe, you can do better than this" Peter panted and landed on the floor next to him "Nope, I'm out" Tony smiled and pulled this small boyfriend up. "Come on, one more round and we can relax." Peter pulled himself together and nodded. "Okay, I can do this," He said dodging a kick and other suits that came flying past him. "One more!" Tony said cheering him on from the sidelines, "Fuck, Tony I can't do this" "There's no such word as can't" Peter smirked t himself "Nope, but there is a word called cannot and I cannot do this" H said turning his back as Tony shit down te simulation. "What's going on? You're usually so much better than this" Tony asked as peter layed his head on his lap. "I don't know, I've been in a funk ever since we lost the Titan battle" Tony frowned. "I'm never letting you go okay? I love you, Peter Parker. I love you so much. And that shit that happened with Thanos was not your fault. You were fifteen kid and were already conquering so much that I couldn't even do at fifteen. Don't beat yourself up because of one mistake" Tony leaned down and kissed peter's lips passionately. "I love you too Tones, and guess what day tomorrow is. Valentine's day" Tony rolled his eyes "Ugh, don't remind me" Peter laughed "Ill remind you in my way" Tony raised an eyebrow "Kinky" "That's not what I meant and you know it"

"Mr. Parker, you have a meeting in five minutes downstairs" FRIDAY chirped from the speakers in the kitchen. "SHIT! FRIDAY can you remind me when to take the cookies out of the oven?" He heard no response but figured that FRIDAY heard him. Peter raced over to his bedroom and pulled on one of Tonys' old AC/DC shirts and a pair of ripped skinny jeans before jogging down to the meeting room. "Good morning Mr. Parker, so nice of you to join us" Tony smiled sarcastically swiveling around in his chair. "Uh sorry, I was baking" He replied Shiley taking a seat next to Tony. "Baking?" Tony whispered moving his chair closer to Peter's "Yep, made some peanut butter cookies" He smiled. "Damn, get you a man that can cook" They both laughed a little before turning their attention to the man presenting as he 'cleared his throat' "Something funny?" The man asked, obviously tired of having to stop his presentation. "Nope, just laughing about the world" The man rolled his eyes at Tony and continued presenting his slideshow on 'Why Peter Parker should not take over SI' which wasn't the name but Peter thought that it might as well be the name since he was droning on about how someone with a manufacturing and technology background would be more suitable. But still, peter being peter he just sat quietly and held Tony's hand underneath the steel table. "Pete, you okay?" Tony asked quietly looking at the boy "Yeah, I'm just focusing on how many ways I could walk out the room right now" Tony laughed "Don't even walk, just jump out the window and let the suit catch you" Peter burst into laughter and fell on the ground wheezing. "What the fuck is so funny Mr. Parker? This is a serious meeting" Peter laughed as he stood up and regained his posture and self-control. "Nothing nothing, just thinking about a vine" He chuckled sitting down in his seat again. "What vine?" Tony asked playing along with the Vine story. "Is that a chicken?" He quoted not even missing a beat. "Kyle Jenner please report to the foyer," Tony said finishing off the stat pf the vine. The man presenting looked unamused and closed down the PowerPoint. "When you two can stop behaving like children we will come back," He said walking with his men out of the room. "Think we broke him?" Peter laughed spinning in his chair. "Nope, but you're gonna break your back is you don't stop spinning on this chair" Peter giggled and continued to spin on his chair until the chair gave way and he fell on Tony "Hi" He grinned dopey "Hi, think you can-" Tony was cut off by the man walking into the room again causing both men to jump and Peter to fall on the floor with an "Ouch" Along with Tony. "Never mind" Tony watched as the guy left and turned his head to look at Peter. "You okay?" He asked helping Peter stand up and regain his balance and confidence "Mhmm, are you okay?" Tony laughed at Peters's kindness. "I'm not the one that just fell off of a chair and hit my head on the floor" Peter smiled and rested his head on Tony's shoulder as Tony helped him into the elevator.

An hour had passed and the two lovebirds were sat on the couch eating Peters cookies and watching 'Burlesque' on Netflix. "I'm tired." Peter sighed wrapping a blanket around his cold body "If you wanna go to bed by all means go, I just wanna know if Jack and Ali will start dating" Tony smiled ruffling Peters's hair, "They do, now will you please come to bed with me?" Tony gasped "You just spoiled the movie" Peter rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah, come on just cuddle with me" Tony pulled peter towards him on the couch "I don't wanna" "Stop being a child Tony" "I'm not being a child" "Yeah? Then come to bed" "No" "Come to bed, Tony." "No" Tony, come to b-" Once again, they were interrupted by Natasha walking and Peter rolling off the couch. "Sup, what are we watching," She asked grabbing a handful of popcorn and shoveling it into her mouth. "Nothing, I'm gonna go to sleep. Night" Peter gave a 'Bed now' look to Tony who acted like he didn't see it and carried on watching the film. "Child" He muttered under his breath.

Peter sighed as he pulled on a pair of pajamas and slipped under the blue silk sheets of Tony's bed. "It's so cold, FRIDAY turn the heating up" and just like that Peter felt as if he was in Spain, relaxing on a beach and letting off steam. That was until he felt a dip in the bed and muscular arms cover his body and held him tight. "Let's go" Peter turned around. "What do you mean?" He questioned rubbing his eyes "You said you wanted to go to Spain right? Then let's go, let's spend Valentine's day in Spain" Peter smiled and hooked his arms around Tony. "Okay. I'm down for that. when are we going?" "Right now, get some clothes on, we'll buy whatever we need when we get there" Peter squealed and jumped out of the bed grabbing some jeans and sliding himself into them. "You're not getting changed?" He questioned looking at Tony. "I already am" Peter rolled his eyes as Tony flipped away the covers to reveal a fully tailored suit on him. "When did you have the tine to get fully charged? A second ago you were in a tank and sweat pants" "I have my ways. May i just say, you look ravishing" Peter blushed "I'm wearing an oversized shirt and Khakis, how is that ravishing" "Because it's my shirt that you're wearing" Peter rolled his eyes. "You're incredibly predictable Mr. Stark" Tony scoffed "No I'm not, you don't know what I'm going to do now" "Yes I do, you're going to pick me up and run with me in your arms to the helipad" Tony paused fr a minute "No I'm not." "Then what are you gonna do?" "I'm going to pick you up, and run with ou in my arms into the living room" Peter sighed "Wow, big difference" Tony smiled and grabbed Peter before running down the corridor. "Oh my god, Tony! Peter squealed "Put me down! Put me down!" Tony laughed and placed Peters feet on the floor kissing his 'Button nose' as Tony liked to describe it "I hate you" Tony shook his head "No you don't, you love me" "Unfortunately yes, yes I do, and it's a shame because I can never get mad at you" Peter smiled and kissed Tony passionately. "Don't eat each other's fucking faces" Both of them jumped to see the room filled with the avengers and Rhodey. "Uh, we can explain" Peter sighed pulling away from Tony/ "We can? " Tony questioned. "No, I'm out." Rhodey sighed. "I told you they were dating." "You knew?" Tony asked, shocked and in disbelief, thst they're amazing (Terrible ) attempts of covering up their relationship didn't work. "We all knew, you two cant keep a secret for your life." Tony scoffed at Natasha "Yes I can, I kept being Iron Man a secret" Peter scoffed this time. "No you didn't, Rodey and Pepper organized an entire speech on what you should say so you wouldn't reveal that you were IronMan and you still got up on that stage and said 'I am Iron Man' " Tony ignored the comment and looked at the group. "Yes, I and Peter are dating, but as of this moment we are going to Spaun to celebrate our first Valentine's day together" Tony picked Peter up and in a squeal, they were both gone from the eyesight of the other. "Damn, they're cute you've got to admit," Bruce said from the back. "They are, also who said they were eating each other's faces. Because Props to you" Rhodey smiled at Pepper. "All me, the look on their faces were priceless, I wish I had taken a photo" "I have taken a video of the moment and sent it to all of your phones" FRIDAY spoke chirpily, she wasn't a human, but goddamn could she sense when people liked her.

#starkr #starker-valentines #starkerxoxo 2020

[breanime]

Priorities

Requested by @castletrash:  I’m loving all your billy fics! Good Enough tore at my heartstrings. I’m so excited for season 2! If you’re taking requests- would be able to write something angsty where billy keeps missing important dates/anniversaries (maybe for work?) and the reader doesn’t feel important anymore? just give me angst pls thank u I appreciate u and your writing

Sorry it took so long! I hope this is angsty enough for you!

*gif not mine*

You looked across the table and sighed. The restaurant was beautiful, with soft lighting and classical music playing in the background—the perfect kind of place for your anniversary. It had everything to make it the perfect romantic date: candles, music, excellent gourmet food, an intimate setting… Everything.

…except your date.

Billy was almost always late to your dates these days; what with Anvil getting more and more business, and him helping Frank get used to life as a civilian—he was busier than you had ever seen him. But he was always apologetic and tried to make it up to you, so you didn’t take it too hard. But you couldn’t help but be hurt by it. At first it wasn’t a big deal; Billy would show up 10 to 15 minutes late with apologies and while you were upset, you couldn’t stay mad at him for long. Then he graduated to straight up cancelling dates, which you had mixed feelings about. On one hand: it was a huge pain in the ass to have your plans changed and cancelled, but on the other hand: Billy’s way of making it up to you usually involved back spasms and orgasms so… He kind of made it easy to forgive him. Still, it wasn’t all make-up sex and cuddles. Sometimes things got… explosive.

“63 goddamn minutes,” you screamed, throwing another plate. Billy stood still, watching you destroy the dinner you’d slaved to make over an hour ago while he was busy at work. “You made me wait 63 goddamn minutes before you bothered to tell me you’d be late?!” You knocked a platter of food on the ground for emphasis.

Billy, for his part, was letting you have your meltdown; he knew you needed a minute to react; and if you couldn’t fall back on your anger, you’d probably cry. He hated that he made you feel this way. “It couldn’t wait,” he said for the 100th time, “I tried to call you, baby, but my phone broke during the job—”

“The job! That’s all you care about!” You screeched. “You pick Anvil over me every time, Billy! Every time! I’m sick of it,” you could no longer keep the tears at bay, so you spoke through the tears, “You love Anvil more than you love me!”

Billy was in front of you in a second, grabbing your shoulders and staring down at you with wide, dark eyes. They gleamed with emotion as you looked up into them. “Don’t…” His voice broke. “Don’t ever say that again. I love you more than anything, Y/N, more than life itself. I love you so much.” Carefully, he wiped a tear from your cheek. “I know it doesn’t feel like that right now, and that’s my fault, but it’s true, I love you so much, Y/N. Please, don’t… Please don’t say that again.”

You sniffled, and Billy’s heart broke. “But that’s how it feels.”

Billy nodded, still holding your face in his hand. “I know. I’m sorry.” Slowly, he bent down, giving you time to move or push him away if you wanted to. You stayed where you were. “I’ll do better, baby, I promise, just please… I love you.”

“I love you, too,” you whispered, feeling your heart swell as you looked into his perfectly dark eyes. You leaned forward and pressed your lips to his, and you felt him relax against you. He carried you, bridal-style, to the bedroom and spent the next few hours pleasuring you in every way possible, apologizing to you and more than telling you he loved you—he showed you. You two came up with a procedure after that day: if Billy was late or M.I.A, you were to call his office and if he didn’t get back to you in 10 minutes tops, you were to call Frank, and from there, you could usually get in contact with Billy. It worked; and while Billy was still late to your dates, he hadn’t cancelled one in a while, so you were okay with your new system. Billy had even added an addendum to your agreement: if he was more than 20 minutes late, he owed you 20 minutes of the foreplay of your choice, and as much as you enjoyed that, you were glad that he was rarely that late after your last blow out.

But now he was over an hour late. Your phone was on the table, next to a glass of white wine, and had a total of zero texts or calls from Billy. That was…unusual. Billy always texted or called to let you know he would be late or that he was on his way. You were starting to get worried.

Two hours in you called Billy’s phone. No answer. Having played this game before, you dialed his office, swirling your wine in the glass as you waited for the call to be intercepted by Billy’s secretary.

“Billy Russo’s office, how can I—”

“—Hey Gloria,” you said between a sigh, “Is Billy there?”

“Oh, no, Ms. Y/N, he left about four hours ago. He isn’t at the restaurant?” You heard papers shuffling on her end and knew she was looking through itineraries and memos.

“No, and I can’t get him on his cell either…” You put the wine down and signaled the waiter. “You know what, don’t worry about it, Gloria, I’ll give him a little longer to show up. Have a good night.” You hung up, satisfied with your simple plan, and ordered a drink.

Three hours and several drinks later, you were…not a mess, but mess-adjacent. You had called Billy, and Frank, then called Billy again…no answer. You were just a tad bit drunk, so you finally caved, called a cab, and went home to nurse your wounded pride.

Billy had never stood you up for a date before—let alone an anniversary. You were worried sick. Your mind conjured up images of him bloody and broken, of his lifeless body in some grey, gritty alley somewhere. You paced around your apartment, an iron grip on your phone, and tried to think of where Billy could be. You nearly screamed when your phone rang and did when you saw who was calling.

“Billy,” you gasped out, stopping dead in your tracks, “where are you? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he said easily, “me and Frankie made some headway with the Albanians and now we’re on our way to Philly to do some negotiations—”

“Philly?” You repeated, blinking in confusion. “I… what about tonight?”

“Tonight?” There was a pause, and you knew wheels were turning in Billy’s head. “Shit… I forgot. Baby, I’m—”

You didn’t wait to hear the rest. You saw red, and you didn’t even bother hanging up the phone before you threw it at the wall. The resulting crash and scattering of little pieces did nothing to ease the rage. You grabbed your overnight bag—which you kept packed and ready for impromptu stays at Billy’s—and stomped out of your apartment. You were done. You were beyond done, even. A part of you wanted to go to Karen and bawl your eyes out, but another part of you wanted to avoid Billy at all costs, and you knew he would easily find you there. It was the same with Curtis. Your rage had sobered you right up, so you drove around town for a few hours, seeing nothing and shaking. The anger left you just as quickly as it came, and you had to pull over to sob into the steering wheel.

You had never felt so unimportant, so insignificant in your whole life. Billy was everything to you; he was your sun and moon, your happiness, your joy—but you meant nothing to him. Forget competing against the women who were in and out of his life, you couldn’t even compete with his job. You could never match the thrill, the satisfaction Anvil gave Billy—and the more you thought about it, the dumber you felt for even trying. You stared at your hands, still gripping the wheel. They were shaking along with the rest of you. You had been content before Billy had come into your life, but now? Now that you had felt the immense warmth of his love? Now that you had seen him, sleepy-eyed and soft in the morning, reaching out for you? Now that you had been cocooned in the safety of his arms? You wouldn’t go so far as to say Billy had broken you—no man could break you—but he had ruined you for anyone else. You knew your life after him would be grey and cold, and worse still: you knew you deserved better.

You checked into a hotel a little bit after that and cried into the stale pillow until your body was out of tears. You could see every time Billy smiled at you, every time he kissed you, touched you, caressed you. In your mind, you could hear his voice, soft with a slight New York accent, telling you he loved you a million times. It was like you could almost feel his arms around you, and you tried to hold onto those memories, knowing that there would be no more.

Puffy-eyed and exhausted, you made your way to the hotel communication center, where they had several computers and a phone. The first thing you did was call Curtis and leave a voicemail saying you were fine, you just needed some time alone, and not to worry. Then you called your work, requested a few days off, and told them you were “taking a vacation”. Satisfied with the updates you’d given; your next call was to Karen.

“Hey,” you had said, voice weary, “it’s me.”

“Oh my God, Y/N,” Karen sounded out of breath, “where are you? Are you okay? Tell me where you are, and I’ll be there—we were all so worried about you.”

“I’m fine,” you swallowed, “I just… I want to be alone.”

“Tell me where you are,” you heard the sound of clothes rustling and knew Karen was putting on a jacket, “I won’t tell Billy, but just tell me where you are.”

“I’m safe,” you closed your eyes, feeling more tired than you’d ever felt in your whole life, “Listen, I need a favor. I can’t do it myself, but could you tell Billy it’s over?”

“Y/N, he’s a mess, he just wants to talk to you—”

“—Please Karen.” You shook your head, feeling a headache coming on, “I need you to do this for me. Please say you’ll do this for me.”

“I will,” she sounded out of breath, “I’ll do it right now, just tell me where you are—”

“—I’ll be back in a few days,” you cut her off, “thanks, Karen.” You hung up, went back to your room, and grabbed your bag. Karen was a smart woman. She’d track you down by the hotel number and be there within the hour—possibly with Billy. You couldn’t have that. You made yourself a cup of coffee to go before hopping back into your car and driving off.

You had no purpose, no plan, beyond ‘get away from Billy’, and it wasn’t until the sun came up and you crossed state lines that you started to feel sleepy. You considered pulling over and sleeping on the side of the road but weren’t comfortable with that idea. So, you stuck it out until you got to a motel.

You didn’t have the energy to shower or even unpack; you flopped onto the bed, fully dressed, and passed out.

You woke up to the sounds of birds chirping. You rubbed your eyes, and sighed into the emptiness. Everything came back to you in a rush, and you felt your heart break all over again. You missed Billy—which was ridiculous! He did this to you. Sitting up, you picked up the phone and dialed your own number. You listened to the most recent voicemail, from Karen.

“Tell me where you are,” she was shouting into the receiver, “Call me back and tell me where you are RIGHT NOW, Y/N! Billy is worried sick, and so am I and we—we just need to know you’re okay. Tell me where you are and I’ll come get you, just me.” It sounded like she was crying. “Please Y/N, this isn’t like you, it’s dangerous out there.” She sighed. “Call me.”

The next message was from Frank. “This is my fault. I made Bill miss your anniversary, we were…” He grunted. “Doesn’t matter what we were doing, just know that this is on me.” There was a sound in the background, a harsh crash or something. “Bill’s out of his mind, he won’t eat he, he won’t sleep—” another crash—“just give us a call, Y/N.”

You sniffled as you deleted the message and listened to the next one.

“Hey, Y/N,” it was Curtis, “I know you’re hurt, I know you’re pissed, but we’re all worried about you. Just give us one of us a call, sweetheart, okay?” He sighed, and you could almost see Curtis’ kind, sad face. “Billy’s coming undone. He needs you. Just tell us you’re okay, all right?”

You imagined Billy throwing things, cursing, screaming and yelling, and it didn’t make you feel any better at all. If anything, it made you ache for him more. He hurt you, yes, but the last thing you wanted was for him to suffer. The next voicemail message was short but took your breath away all the same.

“You got 24 hours to call me,” Billy’s voice was cold, “before I come and get you.” There was a pause. “I love you.”

You were crying softly now and played the next message. It was Frank, Frank, Curtis, Karen, your mom, Frank again, and then…

“Please.” You had never heard Billy’s voice like that before. It was shaky and broken and scared. So scared. “Baby, please… I am so, so sorry that I forgot our anniversary. I’m an asshole, I know, I messed everything up. But please, baby, just tell me you’re okay, tell me you’re safe, please, I need to know you’re safe.” He took a breath and you heard him sniffle. “I…” You could hear the tears in his voice, and it made your heart break. “I fucked it all up. I knew I would. I knew I’d do something to…” He inhaled sharply. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Better than war, better than money, better than Anvil, and I should have made you feel like that, because it’s true. You make me so happy, and I…” His voice sounded muffled, like he had his hand over his face. “God, I made you feel unloved and alone and abandoned. I am so, so sorry baby, I love you so much. I’m sorry. I know I don’t deserve you, and that I fucked everything up and that I probably…I probably lost you forever, but please… Call me back—or Frank or Karen or Curtis. Please…

…I love you.”

You put the phone down, stared at the ceiling for a moment, and broke down crying. It was a good cry—the whole body shaking kind of cry, the come to Jesus kind of cry. You were angry, and hurt, and had every right to be—but you loved him. You loved Billy Russo more than you loved yourself, he was everything to you. But there could be no middle ground, you couldn’t keep playing second fiddle to Billy’s work, you couldn’t keep being abandoned by him. The hurt was too much. But this… Running away, hearing Billy beg you to call him—this wasn’t any better.

It couldn’t continue.

You picked the phone back up and dialed without looking at the numbers. You had them memorized.

“Y/N—” Billy began. His voice sounded strained, probably from all the yelling you assumed he’d been doing.

“—I’m in Connecticut,” you said, “I’m fine, I’m safe, I’m gonna stay here for a few days, and I don’t want to see you when I get back.” With that you hung up. The phone rang immediately, but you ignored it. You went down to the lobby, had some breakfast, and then came back to your room for a shower. The phone had a little red light blinking on and off that let you know you had messages, but you walked right passed it.

You thought a lot about Billy and what you would do when you got home while you were in the shower. You had told Karen that you were done with him, but you honestly couldn’t see yourself without him. You loved him. But you had choices to make: forgive him or let him go. Both seemed impossible.

Your phone was ringing when you got out of the shower, and you considered answering it. Instead, you shook your head, grabbed your purse, and headed for the door. You’d seen a diner across the street when you’d gone down to breakfast and decided to treat yourself to a carb-heavy lunch. You flung open the door, renewed after your shower, and froze in your steps.

Billy stood in front of you, cell phone at his ear, staring at you.

His hair was messy, and he was wearing his black combat gear. You guessed he hadn’t changed—or slept—since you both had been in New York. There were bags under his dark eyes, and you could see that he had been crying by the red in them. He put the phone into his pocket as he stared at you. “You said you didn’t want to see me when you got back, so… I came to see you.”

“You—how did you get here so fast?” You asked, hand still on the doorknob.

“Made a few calls, chartered a chopper to bring me here,” he answered. “Can I come in?”

You stepped back, letting Billy come into the room. It seemed much smaller with the two of you standing in it. Billy seemed smaller—deflated somehow—and you swallowed down the urge to hold him.

He glanced around the room, eyes weary, before settling back to you. “You okay?” He asked. “Are—are you hurt? Are you safe?”

You nodded. “I’m fine.” You wanted to ask how he was, but you could tell just by looking at him. He was a mess. “When was the last time you slept?”

“I haven’t slept since you left me.” He gave a one-shouldered shrug. “I trashed my office, broke everything in my apartment, called in all kinds of favors to track you down…”

“Well, here I am,” you plopped onto the bed and sighed, “Billy, I… I don’t even know what to say to you,” you looked up at him and felt tears well up in your eyes, “you promised you’d do better,” your voice broke, “You lied to me.”

Billy dropped to his knees in front of you but didn’t touch you. “I know,” his eyes were shining, “I broke my promise and I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry, you deserve better than this, better from me.”

“I do,” you whimpered. You wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to keep it together.

Billy reached out and put his hands on your knees. His touch warmed you to the core. “I’m so sorry, baby. Frank needed my help, and I thought I had time to help him and make it to dinner, but…” He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. I made a promise to you and I broke it. And if,” he ducked his head down before bringing it back up, eyes swimming in unshed tears, “if you have to leave me, I get it… I fucked up. I fucked up so many times and you were so patient, and I took advantage of that. I don’t deserve you. I never deserved you.” He took a shuddering breath, and you knew he was steadying himself for whatever he had to say next. “I love you so much, Y/N, and I’ll always love you, but… if you tell me that you never want to see me again…” His eyes bore into yours and you could see the sincerity in them. “I’ll honor it.”

The tears fell down your face, hot and warm, and you licked your lips, searching for the words to say. You looked down into the face of the man you loved and felt your heart splinter. You loved Billy, you needed him like you needed air to breath, but he hurt you. He hurt you so bad and you felt like you couldn’t trust him. “I don’t want that,” you said, putting your hands over Billy’s on your knees, “but I can’t just forget and forgive. I can’t trust you. I love you, Billy, I love you so much, but you…” You took a deep breath. “…You put work ahead of me every time and I can’t take it anymore. I can’t live like that anymore.”

“I know,” he nodded, eyes never leaving yours, “I know, sweetheart.”

“I love you,” you whispered.

“I love you, too,” his voice wavered, and you wiped a tear from the edge of his eye.

You took another breath, staring down at Billy. “I don’t want to lose you, but I can’t do this with you anymore, I can’t keep being a footnote in your life.” You leaned forward and placed both hands on either side of Billy’s face. “If I ask you to do something, will you do it?”

“I’d do anything for you,” he said, no hesitation and nothing but honesty in his eyes.

“I need another few days here,” you said, “and I need you to go.” You took a deep breath and continued on. “I want all of your stuff out of my apartment by the time I get back.” Billy’s dark eyes shone with sorrow at your words, but he didn’t interrupt. “I think… I think I’m gonna need some time before I can be with you again, but if you’ll wait—”

“—of course I’ll wait,” Billy promised, nodding.

“—then maybe we can get back to where we were,” you finished, “because I really do love you, Billy.”

“I love you, too,” he said back.

With tears rolling down your cheeks, you pulled him towards you and held him in your arms. He was shaking, and you kissed the side of his face. God, you loved this man. You didn’t know how long the two of you stayed huddled up like that; half of you on the bed and the other half crouched on the floor with Billy, but neither of you were still crying by the time you separated.

You smiled weakly at Billy, running your hands through his thick, dark hair. “I’ll see you in New York,” you said.

He smiled back. “See you in New York.”

You ended up staying in Connecticut for another five days before heading home to New York. Billy was true to his word; he had cleared your apartment of all of his stuff and left a new phone for you by the time you got back. You invited Karen over for brunch the day you got back and had a tearful reunion. You met with Curtis for drinks later that day but didn’t bother to hit up Frank—you knew that he knew you were in town. Plus, you didn’t want to take him away from Billy. You didn’t want Billy to be alone.

You went back to work and re-established your routines without Billy. It was strange and lonely, but you felt a sense of clarity with each day. Going to sleep alone wasn’t fun, especially since you were craving Billy’s warmth, but you needed the time to think. A couple of weeks after your return, you got an envelope in the mail from Billy. It contained an article from the paper saying that Billy had taken a sabbatical from Anvil and handed over the reins to Frank and Curtis. According to the article, Billy was still the CEO of the company, but his hours were cut in half and he would no longer be a part of missions that took place outside of the city. With the article came a handwritten note, and you smiled, recognizing Billy’s handwriting immediately.

Dear Y/N,

I didn’t know if you would see this, so I decided to send it to you myself. I know this won’t fix what I did, or make up for the way I treated you, but I hope it’s a start. I changed my number (putting it on the back of this note). Please give me a call whenever you want. I’ll be waiting.

I’ll always wait for you.

I love you. I miss you.

--Billy Russo

You turned the paper over and saw his number. He probably changed it to avoid some of his old contacts. When you turned it back, your eyes fell to the last line. I love you. I miss you. You brought the paper to your lips and kissed it. Billy wasn’t perfect, but he was yours and you loved him. He was working on himself—and so were you—and that was all you could ask for. You picked up your phone and dialed the number, your fingers moving swiftly with nervous excitement.

Billy picked up on the first ring. “Y/N,” he said, sounding entranced.

“Hi, Billy, I got your letter,” your heart started pounding the second you heard his voice, “Looks like you have some time on your hands.”

“Yeah, yeah, I do,” he said back, “How are you?”

“Fine. Listen, I was wondering…if you had some time next week, maybe we could meet up?”

“I have time now,” Billy’s voice was rushed, “I could be at your place in less than 15 minutes or—” he paused, clearing his throat, “—or I can wait till next week. Of course. Where would you like to meet?”

You put your finger on your chin and pondered his question. Technically, you could wait another week to see Billy, and it could be at a neutral location, but… You didn’t want to wait. You wanted to see him, to hold him. You weren’t necessarily ready to jump all the way back in with Billy, but you’d had enough of being without him. You loved him and were ready to move things forward with him. “Fifteen minutes, huh?” You said, leaning against your kitchen counter with a smirk, “I’m starting the clock now.”

You could almost feel Billy’s smile on the other end od the line. “I’ll make it in ten,” he promised.

You laughed. There was still a lot of work to be done between you and Billy to fix your relationship, but you were willing to do it for as long as Billy was. And he was down for the long run, no matter how hard it could be—and you could tell he was sincere in his dedication.

True to his word—a habit he was determined to keep up with—Billy was at your door in less than 11 minutes. He looked so good, eyes wide and eager, and you felt your love for him well up in your chest like helium in a balloon. You never felt a love as strong as you felt for Billy, and you knew, in that moment, that even though things weren’t always perfect and could be tough, you knew that you wanted to be with Billy for the rest of your life. You took him in your arms then and felt like the jigsaw puzzle that was your life was complete.

From that day on, Billy was never late to any of your dates ever again. Things didn’t pick up exactly where you’d left out, but that ended up being better for the both of you in the long run. You loved Billy, and he loved you, and he spent every day of the rest of your lives making sure you knew that.

You couldn’t have been happier.  

***************************************************************************************

TAGLIST: @floralpeaceofmind @delicatelilyflower @doneobrien @ladyblablabla @banditthewriter @something-tofightfor  @starsfragments @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme @hisgirlwednesdayaddams @fictionwillneverdie @maria-beretta @sadnessxvodka @ymariejp @sunnycolors @moonlightsay @its-all-o-kay @damagelove @keyeluh @itsmylife98 @funerals-with-cake @littlemermaidprobz @teacuplotus @king4thesirens @mrsjaxtellerfan @thebabblingbook @tartelette-aux-fraises @madamrogers @littlemermaidprobz @charlylama @iaintnofurry @k-buggz2001

Thank you for reading, guys! Please let me know how you think about this one. I need validation! 

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo imagine #the punisher #priorities

[sippingchai]

You Should Have Known (Smut)

Request: “smut. smut. smut. love em. (😂) maybe something with needy!Shawn, coming back from tour (like a really long time) and you meet him at his parents house, and the boy just wants to fuck you there, but you say that you can’t bc hey “we’re at your parents house Shawn!” but the lil pervert is so damn needy and he ended up fucking u in his teenage bedroom (a lot of doggy style pls, thanks!)❤” 

“and with the needy!Shawn request : thigh riding please!!! thank you so much!”

Oookay I had to put my own spin on this, mostly because these types of fics have been done before, but I hope you still like it. 

So uh, enjoy the ride.

The anticipation kills you as you make the final turns on the way to Shawn’s parent’s house. Aaliyah wanted to see him when he got back to Toronto and to be honest you weren’t going to argue with her. You figured once you guys were finished with dinner, you and Shawn would head home and catch up. Lots and lots of catch up. 

You think you’d be used to this by now, the extended periods of time away from each other, but you’re not. And while phone calls and FaceTime make things manageable, there was always that one element that was missing. Him. 

The giddiness inside you sparks up as you pull into the driveway. Finally. You take one final look at yourself in the rearview mirror before making your way out of the Jeep. You’re not even halfway up the yard when the front door swings open and you’re greeted by the sight of your boyfriend rushing towards you. Without missing a beat his lips find their way to yours as he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you into him. The familiar feeling of home washes over you as you stand there wrapped in each other. Eventually, you break the kiss and pull away to a dopey smile on his face and he takes in the sight of you.

“God, I missed you,” he breathes out.

“The feeling’s mutual,” you laugh as you lean in again to capture his lips in another kiss before you’re interrupted. 

“Are you guys done yet?” Aaliyah yells out from the door, clearly unamused. 

You pull away embarrassed that the two of you are caught, but Shawn’s more annoyed than anything else. “No, we’re not. Thank you.” He quips back as he lowers his hands to your ass and gives it a squeeze. 

“You guys are gross!” Aaliyah stomps off and Shawn throws his head back in laughter.

You stare at him in shock as you swat his hands away. “Seriously, Shawn! Pretty sure you just scarred her for life.” 

He quirks his brow and gives you a smirk. “She’ll live. Me, not so much.” And before you know it his hands are wandering again. Seriously. 

“Babe, we have plenty of time for that when we get home.” You reassure him as you still his hands. 

He sighs as he rests his forehead against yours and his hands find their way back to your waist. “I know, it’s just…I can’t help it. I missed you so much, y/n.” 

You can hear the need in his voice and it makes your knees go weak. You lean your head up to give him a peck on the lips and tuck your head into his chest as you hug him. “Look, I promise you I’m all yours later, okay? We just have to make it through dinner.” 

You should have known. You have known he wasn’t going to be able to keep his damn hands to himself. Whether it was rubbing circles on your thigh or slipping his hand under your shirt at the small of your back, he was doing everything he can to make you crack. But you weren’t going to crack. 

Aaliyah was in the middle of talking about the hockey game she had just played when you felt his hand creep up your thigh again. Karen and Manny were deeply engaged in the conversation when you turn your head around to look at Shawn. He was biting his lip as his gaze lingered on you, a slight flush starting to form across his cheeks. You silently laugh to yourself about this predicament because of course this would happen in the middle of dinner with his parents and sister at the other end of the table.

You take the hand creeping up your thigh into yours and run your thumb across his knuckles. There’s a curious look in his eyes as he brings his glass of water to his mouth to sip. With a sweet little smile on your face you lean closer to him and whisper quietly enough just for him to hear.

“If you can behave the rest of the night I’ll give you what you want.” He’s in the middle of taking a sip when he starts choking and almost drops the glass. You bite your cheek to stop the smile that wants to form. No one else notices. 

“Honey, are you okay?” Karen asks. She’s concerned and you almost feel bad. Almost. 

“Yeah.” Shawn croaks out. “It just went down the wrong way.” 

And just like that, he backs off for the rest of dinner. You, however, let your hand rest on his thigh, gently caressing it the way he caressed yours. You can feel the muscles clench as he shifts in his seat, sucking a breath in every now and then. 

“You don’t look so good, bud.” Manny says from across the table. You remove your hand from Shawn’s thigh and place your elbows on the table, letting your chin rest on top of your clasped hands.

“I’m actually really tired right now. It’s been a long day.” He speaks up. Liar.

“Why don’t you guys just stay the night? We can do breakfast in the morning before you drive home.” Manny offers. 

“That’s a really good idea.” You speak up, looking at Shawn. “Actually, I’ll help clean up if you wanna just call it a night, babe.” 

He swallows and licks his lips as he mumbles something incoherent. Then, he’s out of his seat and up the stairs so fast that you can’t help but let out a small chuckle. 

You take your time cleaning up after dinner catching up with his parents and sister. When you finally finish up, you wish them all good night and make your way up to his room. You quietly rap on the door but there’s no response, so you make your way in. The sight in front of you makes your breath hitch as you watch Shawn shirtless on his bed, hand down his pants as he touches himself through his boxer briefs. His eyes are shut and his lips are parted as small whimpers escape his mouth. You make sure to lock the door before making your way to the edge of the bed. 

“Mmm you’re starting without me?” You tease as you climb your way from the foot of the bed. His eyes fly open and he removes his hand from his pants and pulls you up to him to crash his lips into yours. 

He sucks harshly on your bottom lip before flipping you onto your back. His lips make their way to your neck and he drags them up to your ear. “I’ve been good. Can I have my reward now?” He’s so desperate and needy for you at this point but you don’t give in. Not yet.

There’s a giggle that comes out of your mouth as you push him off you, his face in your hands. “You don’t think I’m gonna make it that easy, do you?” You don’t give him time to respond as you bring your lips back to his and push him back down on the bed. 

You let your hands wander down his body, letting your finger tips trail down his stomach as you see and feel the muscle tense up and release under them. Your hands get to his jeans and you tug on them.

“Off.”

He lifts his hips up so you can pull the denim off his legs and toss it somewhere behind you. 

You turn back around and bite your lip seeing Shawn in the state that he’s in: back against the headboard, head leaned back, face full of want. You take a minute to admire him. It’s been two months since you’ve seen him and well, he’s filled out more. You realize you’re still fully dressed so you rid yourself of your top and shimmy out of the skirt you’re wearing. You crawl your way up his body to meet his lips again, your tongue making its way into his mouth causing him to moan. He sits up as you kiss him, making you straddle his thigh in the process as his hands grip your hips. 

You start to grind circles on to his thigh, gasping at the delicious sensation of your clit rubbing against him. Your panties are the only thing separating you from him and you soon grow frustrated they’re in the way. You pause briefly to remove them before lowering yourself back down to his thigh.

“God, you’re so wet” he manages to say, still gripping your hips as he stares in awe. You nod in agreement as you slide yourself over his thick thigh, eyes fluttering shut. The only sound in the room is both of your labored breaths and the wet sound of skin on skin as you continue to ride him. He brings his head down to your nipple and takes it into his mouth, causing you to throw your head back in pleasure as his mouth works over your nipple. You thread a hand up through his hair, pulling him closer to you. You can feel yourself getting closer and closer with each stroke of your hips. His hands soon run up and and down your back and you can hear him whispering words of encouragement to you.

“That’s it. That’s it. Get what you need, baby.” His hand soon makes its way down your stomach until his fingers press circles against your clit and you loose it right there. Your lips crash into his as you reach your peak and you do everything you can to not scream.

You collapse next to him as you regain your breath. His eyes are glued to you as his hands run up and down your back. You let your hand slide up his thigh to rub his hardness through his boxer briefs, a gasp escaping his lips as his head falls back.

“You’ve been so good,” you whisper as you lay on your stomach, slightly spreading your knees so there’s space for him. His eyes are closed as you continue stroking him. “What are you waiting for?”

His eyes shoot open again and he bites back a moan seeing you. You lift your hips off the bed, letting your ass raise in the air a bit hoping he would get the hint. He does.

His underwear is gone and he’s stroking himself as he lines up with your entrance. With one hand on your hip, the other guides his cock and rubs it up and down your slit. You know this is him getting back at you as he continues to only slide the head up and down your folds. You look over your shoulder to him as he continues to tease you. “I thought you couldn’t wait for this?” You question him.

He swallows as he looks at you. “I don’t think I’m gonna last long. You got me so fucking worked up.” He confesses.

“All the more reason to fuck me then.” You rasp out.

And with that he slips his cock inside you as both hands grip your hips. Moans slipping from each of you as he fills you up. “Fuck.” He gasps out, trying his hardest to gain his composure. He leans down, bringing his chest over your back as his mouth finds your shoulder and he slowly starts thrusting his hips. Your eyes close shut as he fucks you and your body feels like it’s on fire. It’s been so long since the two you have been intimate and that craving you’ve had is finally being satisfied.

His lips are all over your neck as he pounds into you. Small whimpers spill from your lips as you rock back against him meeting his thrusts.

“Fuck I missed you, y/n.” He whispers in your ear, voice uneven, almost broken. You turn your head and reach behind you to pull his face into a messy and desperate kiss. You missed him, too. 

He shifts his hips as he continues thrusting into you, the new angle hitting you in that spot that makes you unravel slowly. Shawn’s name is a prayer coming out of your lips and the answer was coming soon. 

“Please, please.” There’s desperation in you voice as you push back harder to meet his movement. You know he’s close to by how tight he’s gripping you and he slips his hand down your stomach to find your clit. His fingers work back and forth across it as he slams into you, biting back a strangled groan onto the back of your neck as he spasms and bucks his hips into you. It takes everything in you not to scream as you bury your face into the pillow, letting out a string of muffled curses as you convulse around Shawn. 

Slowly, he pulls out of you and gently eases you around. There’s a smile on his lips as he reaches a hand up to move the sweaty strands of hair covering your face and you lean into his touch. 

“I’m glad you’re home,” you mumble into his hand. He lays down next to you on the bed and pulls you almost on top of him, wrapping his arms around you. Your head is on his chest and you can hear how fast his heart beats. And it sounds like home. 

#Shawn Mendes #Shawn Mendes Imagine #Shawn Mendes Smut #Shawn Mendes Oneshot #Goodboy!Shawn #Shawn Mendes FanFic #Shawn Mendes Fan Fiction #if you need me I'll be at church #b y e

[powertobehandsome]

The Way I See It || Matt and Seth

Part three for you. @blindlyburning​

"Elektra Natchios? She and Matt used to date in college. From what I understand, she really broke his heart or something, but I don't know why it's so important for him to know she's back in town... good riddance to her, basically. He was such a wreck. Like he's Matt, so he was pretty good at not showing it, but I mean, I saw through his shit."

"Naturally. I've... been there with the man who hides the emotions but you're the best friend so you can see through it." He smiled and started to relax.

"What kind of name is Elektra? Like... that alone sounds like a nightmare."

Fun. Seth was trying to... what? Get close with his lawyer while in the middle of this? And now the heartbreaking ex-girlfriend was back. Great.

"Right? She's all gorgeous too. Like supervillain gorgeous. I wish..." Foggy huffed, took another bite of heaven, and continued a minute later. "At least you'll be there. He seems to really like you, and I bet having someone nice around will help him not... slip back into Elektra-land."

"Of course she's gorgeous. The super-villains always are." Seth, for the first time in what felt like months, thought of Summer. She was no Villain. She had done some great things for his self-confidence. But maybe she was a lower case villain. Because recovering from her leaving had taken far longer than he cared to admit.

"Sure, though. Maybe I can read him bedtime stories and cook him a meal for once. Ryan only really works with a grille. He's the ultimate outdoor cook. Me? Not so much. I like ovens and processors and that kind of thing."

Matt didn't get back until almost five thirty. When he walked in, he stopped, sensing the somewhat tense mood of the place. His hand gripped his cane reflexively before he made himself hang it on a hook.

"Somebody die?"

"Mnnnnn. This cop's got shitty handwriting."

Matt frowned, then shook his head. "It's fine."

"Fine? This is embarrassing even to read."

"So don't read it."

"Bite me, Murdock." Foggy groaned and looked up. "How'd it go?"

Matt's smile was secretive for a moment before he spilled. "They dropped all charges."

"What? HELL YES! Officially?"

"Officially." Matt tossed him a manila packet, then turned to Seth. "You and Ryan are free to go anytime."

Foggy was flipping pages. "This is incredible. Yes. Yesssss. I knew the one-two of me with photos and you with your creepy, stubborn, eloquent ass would work."

"Bull."

Foggy flipped him off, too happy to even get into the verbal sparring. "Too bad we can't go after the guys that did this. They shut that down nicely.. but whatever. Freedom for the good guys! Seth, where's your better half at? We gotta tell him the good news!"

"He is on his way back from JFK with our luggage. Since... well, since this all seems to be over..." You'll probably want us out of your house. "If you'd like to discuss your fee, we'll get that to you before I leave here."

He text Ryan the address, who responded with a simple:

>> What are the plans tonight?

And Seth locked his screen without replying. He'd hear soon enough.

"On top of your fee, since you didn't get to charge us for going to trial, I would like to buy you both drinks tonight. I insist. It's the least I can do for all that you've done.”

"You can mail a check if that's easier," Foggy shrugged. "Karen will make the bill up when she comes in tomorrow. Drinks sound --"

"Like a terrible idea for someone with your injuries and on prescription painkillers," Matt interjected. "But if you want to stay a while -- I'm sure flying will be needlessly painful -- maybe we can do drinks in a few days. I mean not that you have to stay, but... the company is nice. And I don’t want to stick you on a plane until you’re actually ready. This isn’t a client thing.. it's a friend thing."

"Oh. No. We'd planned on staying at least a week. And I... was offering to buy drinks. Not to drink them myself. I'm not suicidal." He shrugged at Foggy and then looked back at Matt.

It wasn't his place to bring down the room, and he thought the mention of the man who'd made an appearance, and the message he'd delivered, might do just that, so Seth stuck to happier things. "But you're sure? Will you let me at least buy groceries? Something? You've done so much."

"You can buy groceries," Matt agreed, grinning. "But you've got to let me cook."

"Matt we should go out tonight though, celebrate! If Ryan votes go, it'll be three to one, and you can suck it."

Something seemed off with Seth, Matt thought, and felt a sliver of worry. "Okay... Seth, you okay?"

"Tired," he replied softly, his smile was genuine. "You should have a bagel. I ordered too many. And though your partner and I put a decent dent in what was delivered, there are still more to go around."

He didn't know why he felt uneasy, honestly. Maybe it was just the exhaustion. The pills. The pain that riddled him from armpit to hip. Well. With the lucky addition of his face, too.

"And, while I hope he'll agree, Ryan might try to err on the side of reason. The little shit."

The door opened just then.

"Someone say my name?" Ryan smiled, lugging two duffle bags and a suitcase. 

"Seth invited us out for drinks and you're the swing vote," Foggy explained, and went to help him with the luggage. "Celebration thing, since the charges are all dropped."

Matt got a plain bagel and sat down to tear at pieces of it. He rolled his chair over to be near Seth, feeling a strange need to just be close. "Everything go okay, Ryan?"

"Completely? That's awesome. Yeah. Let's... I would like to go out. If Seth is up for it. We have money. Still no cards, of course. But those... I asked that they be delivered here. Is that okay? They said it would be about three days. But we have clothes and we can finally get out of Matt's hair."

"Actually, he's invited us to stay. Surprising, I know. Since nobody can sleep with your train charging through the living room."

"Bite me."

"I prefer things a bit more kosher."

Ryan was smiling and rolled his eyes, looking at Foggy as he happily reached for a bagel. "I see Seth called Sandy for lunch. The Cohens never take bagels lightly."

Reaching out toward Matt, Ryan alerted him of the returning of his phone, thanked him again for it, and then settled back against the wall. "So, you two know the city. Where are we having dinner?"

Foggy had just gone for another bagel as well, and at the last question, he and Matt asked in unison: "Isn't this dinner?"

Foggy stared at Matt for a minute, then laughed. "You guys didn't hear that. I swear we aren't married. You heard nothing. And there's a pretty good kosher diner down the block, if that'd work?"

Foggy sent Seth a text while talking: 'pls dnt be mad. I dnt want 2 tell him 2nite. Will upset him. Want him to have a good nite. Will tell tmrw. K?'

"I was just joking. Literally any food is more kosher than biting Ryan."

"An no. Bagels do not constitute as dinner. Find a pub. Cheese fries. Hamburgers. Beer and whiskey. Seth can be our designated driver."

"I'm high on pain meds."

"We'll get an uber."

Seth smiled then, nodding. "Would... would it be too much to ask for a little nap before we opt for anything dealing with the outside world? I'll set an alarm. I promise it'll only be an hour or two. Just enough to recharge."

Ryan looked to the other two for confirmation. He didn't care either way. He figured they were all full on bagels for the time being anyway. "You nap. I have freedom. And I want a proper, double decker bus tour through the city."

Seth wasn't even listening, but he nodded all the same. Instead he looked at his phone.

>> It's not my place. He's your best friend. You know what is best for him. But... if we somehow run into her tonight, or your friend Andrew, be prepared to lie your ass off.

>>matt sucks at lying but I passed that class in lawyer school. Thanks Seth. I appreciate you.

Once it was decided to go home for a while first, they went. Foggy went with them to Matt's place, wanting to help with the luggage, and he gave them a friendly goodbye when he headed back out, already trying to decide what to wear and where to take them.

Matt seemed glad to be home. "You guys both napping?" He asked. "Or are you going out to be free right now, Ryan? You should still try to stay wary of your surroundings if you do. Just... a New York thing."

>> I know he does.

"I'm going out. Only taking enough money for the tour. They last about an hour or two. Go down to Brooklyn. Up to Wall Street. They show you were the soup nazi kitchen was from Seinfeld..."

"Dude, you're such a tourist."

"And you're a dick. But you're still my best friend. You guys enjoy your time. I'll text if there's any trouble."

With that and a wave at Seth, Ryan was lightly stepping out the door again.

Seth wrapped an arm around his ribs and moved to go sit on the couch. It didn't matter how comfortable the bed was, or that he'd shared it the night before, he still felt like he didn't have the unspoken right to go in there and sleep whenever he pleases.

"You... don't have to stay, if you have other things to do. But thank you, Matt. For whatever it was you did. You're quite literally a life saver. I owe you a lot."

"Literally just doing my job... and I was thinking that a nap sounds good actually. Would it be weird to share the bed again? It's yours as long as you're here, and if you don't want me there, I understand."

"I would rather you there," he replied, perhaps a bit too candidly. But Seth stood again, and then worked to catch his breath as he walked back to the bedroom.

"I don't understand how it all just went away."

"It's mostly about who wants to be the biggest pain in the ass. The people who hurt you refused to come forward for whatever reason, and with the photos and medical reports on your injuries, it's pretty clear you were a victim. The prosecutors’ office knows that sometimes, police reports aren't... as accurate as they should be." He helped Seth to bed, then helped him undress to whatever level he wanted once they were there. "Basically... a lot of little things came together in our favor, and Foggy and I pushed on all of them as hard as we could."

His underwear was what he'd opted to sleep in, knowing now how warm the covers got in Matt's room, and he silently watched Matt help him get undressed, thankful for the kindness, for the help, for everything his new friend had done. It was too much, and Seth wanted to repay the kindness. Someday, maybe, he would.

Seth's eyelids became almost instantly heavy as he laid down in the bed shaped heaven, and he rolled to the comfortable, non-bruised side, slinking closer to Matt. For some reason, he felt the need to be close, to have some kind of contact, so he moved until his forehead was pressed up against the other man's shoulder. "Fuck. My phone. I was going to set an alarm."

Matt had stripped down to his boxers as well, and he reached back to very, very carefully stroke his fingers somewhere he knew was uninjured. "I'll wake us up in time," he promised. "Get some rest."

Seth dreamed a little, he thought, but by the time Matt woke him, he couldn't remember any of them. Some time in his sleep, he'd managed to scoot closer still, and thanks to the affection he'd received, he had draped an arm (and muttered something in his sleep about telling his hurt ribs to fuck off) over Matt's side.

Ryan returned about three hours later. He went straight for the couch and collapsed, figuring Seth would wake him too when it was time.

When Matt finally did wake him, tired, but happy eyes looked up. "Sorry," he whispered, pulling his arm free. "Thank you for the nap. I feel better."

"I'm glad. Are you sure you're up for going out, though? Do you need another day to rest?"

"I'm fine," he replied quietly, sleepily. "Besides, I'm not the one partying, remember. But Ryan and Foggy deserve a night out to celebrate. And today was a good day."

Seth looked at Matt for a long minute. "Are you okay, though? Today was only legal business? Your bruise from last night is pretty subtle. More so than I would have expected. I'm impressed."

"Strictly legal," he promised, then stretched with a quiet, pleased sounding little moan. "And you're right. They deserve some fun. But if it gets to be too much for you, tell me and we'll call it a night, okay?"

"As you wish," Seth replied a little playfully, and then finally had to make himself pull away with the reminder that this wasn't his boyfriend, and he needed to get his shit together.

When he was finally up and dressed in his own clothes from his bag, Seth went to get Ryan. "I'm gonna take pills. You get up."

Ryan groaned, nodded, and then sat up in a rush. He looked at Seth's mess of curls and smiled sweetly. His dumb brother was too good for this world. "Any word from Foggy on where we're going?"

Matt shook his head and got dressed, then called Foggy, who answered with a ridiculous amount of energy.

"Hey!  So let's take them to Josie's! I know it's a dive and a half but the food doesn't suck and c'mon, Matt, Josie's!"

"Okay," Matt agreed, smiling. Ever since they'd added food options at Josie's bar, Foggy had been addicted -- when they could pay. "Half an hour?"

"You bet your blind ass, Matty-boy!" Foggy hung up.

It felt good to hear him so happy, Matt thought. Foggy needed this sort of thing. "Looks like we're going to Josie's.. Foggy's second favorite place on earth. It's a shitty bar, but surprisingly safe."

"Sounds perfect," Ryan replied, and Seth hummed his agreement. It would be fun, they were both sure of it.

Seth walked over to where the Western Union envelope was placed and thumbed through the bills. He knew if they'd just gone to a bank to pick up the cash from their own accounts, things would have been fine. But at the time, they were being as low key as possible.

By time they were all ready to leave, most of Seth's pain and quiet resolve had dissipated. "Ready? Let's go get you three drunk and happy."

"Two of them, anyway," Matt said, smiling. From there, it wasn't long until Foggy was giving all of them hugs in the doorway to Josie's, although his hug for Seth was more of a delicate pat than anything else.

The bar was sleazy, but the drinks were strong and the food surprisingly good. Matt slowly worked on just one drink and didn't partake in the food, but he seemed very happy to be there with them. He stayed close to Seth all evening -- unless Seth indicated he didn't want him there. Matt told himself that the nearness was in order to help Seth if he needed it, but the truth was that he felt happier and more at ease when they were close enough to touch.

Eventually, Foggy tried to entice the others into a game of pool. Matt had been loving all the warm interactions, but the pool worried him. "Maybe Seth should sit this out... Seth, come be a wallflower with me, tell me how the game goes?"

Playing pool definitely wasn't an option. Not with the leaning and stretching across the table. But he liked the idea of going over and sitting beside Matt anyway.

He leaned, whispering in Matt's ear against the steady buzz of the bar noise. "As if you can't hear each play better than I can see them," he teased, brushing against Matt's shoulder, and lifting his glass of ice water to his lips.

"So, I fly to New York... Foggy is stripes. He sunk one on the break; I'm convinced it was pure luck... the airline sent my luggage to Georgia. I had to wait two days to get it.... Ryan sunk two, but he scratched on the second, so it's Foggy's play... I figure my luck surely can't get much worse, considering my layover in Indiana was four hours, and then another delay because of plane maintenance. So Ryan and I go out for drinks... Foggy and Ryan both missed, but Foggy made one... no. Shit. Three, before missing... Then I got too drunk. Got beat up, then arrested. And you came to the rescue warning me that I fucked with the wrong people and all that... led me here. And I hurt. And I feel like I've been high for days, but I don't regret any of it. I'm happy to be here."

Seth's whispers made Matt shiver in a familiar, sensual way he'd only ever experienced with one person. His lips parted a little as he listened, but it wasn't the words that drew him in so much as the sound of Seth's voice and the little clinks of the ice every time he moved his glass. He liked the smell of his skin, even the traces of blood and drugs, because Matt could practically taste Seth's body healing, and that was a nice thing. Seth was nice. He was awkward and strange sometimes, but who wasn't?  And none of that mattered. He was too nice, too sweet, too good seeming for any of that to matter -- and that was when Matt realized he was definitely forming a crush on Seth... a crush Seth probably didn't mind.

So much for being straight. The realization was a little frightening at first. Matt wasn't sure how to process it or if he was even okay with it -- but did his acceptance really matter? Either way, Seth was here and making Matt feel wanted, and Matt wanted him to feel the same.

"You give an excellent narration," he replied during a pause, his whisper very low and a little gravelly, lips ghosting against Seth's ear. "I can hear them, but can't see the colors or the numbers.. and I like listening to you." He touched his forehead to the side of Seth's head for a brief moment, then turned his attention back towards the game and put his arm around Seth, mindful of his hurts.

"And I'm glad you're here, too. I wish it was under better circumstances... but I'm still glad."

Seth's lips parted to allow a slow, shaky intake of breath to pass through. His stomach twisted in a way that felt much different than nausea as he felt Matt's whispers against his ear. His eyes closed when Matt's head rested against his. Seth smiled.

The arm around his shoulders was welcome, and Seth inched just a little closer, wanting to lean in to rest wholly against Matt, but opted to keep things casual for the time being, just in case Matt was wary about Foggy or Ryan getting too interested too quickly.

Seth continued to narrate the game, including when Foggy sank the eight ball. "Unfortunately it wasn't the pocket he'd called out. So Ryan technically won," Seth said, smiling and taking a moment to look at Matt while the game wasn't actively being played.

"Would you like another drink?"

"No, I'm..." in a heartbeat, Matt's entire demeanor changed. He stiffened and seemed to shut off his warmth and humanity at once, despite not moving, and he turned his head towards the door.

The men who'd attacked the boys had just walked in, looked around, and headed for them.

Matt stood up and grabbed his cane.

Foggy looked up and then over at Ryan in question.

"You friends with these guys?" The leader -- who was the only one that hadn't been there for the attack -- asked Matt.

Foggy quickly moved up to stand next to his partner. "We're their lawyers," he said, and didn't seem half as drunk as he had a few minutes ago.

"If you're here for trouble," Matt started to say, but the leader shushed at him.

"I'm not going to start trouble with a blind man. I'm Hector Ramirez. My parents raised me better than that. No. We have something to say to Cohen and Atwood. Just words."

Matt looked tense, but he nodded. "Okay. Ryan. Seth. You mind coming over here?"

Though he looked like shit, and he was more frightened than he cared to admit, Seth exchanged a glance with Ryan using his one good eye.

Ryan had expected Seth to follow him up, stand right behind his shoulder, as he normally did when they were faced with a potential fight. But this time, Seth stood a little closer to Matt, looking like he was a little more his partner in crime than he was Ryan's.

Meanwhile, Seth had to bite his cheek to keep from running his mouth. He was sober. And these guys could clearly beat the shit out of him.

"I think whatever message you have to deliver was done by your lackeys the last time we met," Ryan said, nodding at Seth. "What is it you want?"

"To offer my apologies," Ramirez said. "What they did was unconscionable. I am sorry. We are trying to make Hell's Kitchen a safer community, and attacking guests is a terrible way to do that. Please. Accept my apologies, my assurances that no further harm will come to you from my people... and my gratitude for the discretion of your lawyers. I will handle discipline privately with these men. We do not assault people here -- and we do not commit gay bashing."

Matt took a small step forward, stunned by what he was hearing, because Ramirez seemed to be telling the truth. "Are you serious?"

"I am. This isn't going to be the beginning of any vendetta. We won't do that here. Your clients are safe. You are safe. We only kill our enemies in Hell's Kitchen, my friend -- and these two men are not enemies."

Foggy wished he was a little more sober, because he had to be hallucinating.

Seth and Ryan looked at each other in surprise. This wasn't at all what they had been expecting. A fight. A warning to stay out of their clubs. A threat that Seth wouldn't be so lucky next time.

But an apology.

Seth was willing to let things go. He wanted to enjoy the rest of their time in New York. He wanted to enjoy the rest of their night.

But Ryan wasn't so easily swayed.

"Yeah? You gonna have your guys pay for the hospital bills? How about the pain pills he has to take because he can't hardly move without them?"

"Ryan, let it go. He said he wanted peace. The whole thing is over. Let's just start up another game."

"No. Because you can't play a game. Because your fucking rib is cracked."

"I know. I know it is. But I just want this to be over." Seth reached out to put a hand on Ryan's shoulder, who jerked free of his touch. "Ryan, please."

Finally Ryan looked at Seth, still fuming. But his gaze shifted to Foggy, and then Matt. Eventually, he nodded. "Fine. But when you next want to call your dad and tell him how great the world is, how nice your time in New York was, don't forget to tell him you were the victim of a hate crime. I'm sure he'll appreciate hearing the story."

Ramirez listened and watched Ryan until he was done. He smiled then and held his arms out to his sides.

"It is not enough? I see. You come from California where everything is fair. Where everyone is paid. It is not enough for you to escape with your lives, to be given an assurance of safety that you clearly don't want."

Matt shifted so as to stay between Ramirez and the Californians, but his heart was already sinking.

"Okay. I take back the apology, Ryan Atwood. One should never give a gift that isn't wanted. But I'll give you one more, a lesson: sometimes, drunken men do stupid things and nobody pays. Sometimes, sober men do things that are laughed at. The world? Not a fair place. Lawyers cannot fix everything for you. They cannot always get you money. Sometimes, all the lawyers can get... is killed.

"You'll go home tonight, Seth Cohen and Ryan Atwood. Because if we see you in New York again... it's a dangerous city.

"You got what you wanted now."

Seth’s heart fell to his stomach and effectively made him nauseous. Ryan’s temper had never been a good thing. And while what the men had done was unforgivable, there were certain instances where he should just know when to let things go. It was a lesson he had never learned. And, it seemed, one which was likely to get them killed before they made it out of the city.

“It is a dangerous city, and though you may believe otherwise…”

“Ryan.”

“You don’t own it.”

Seth grabbed Ryan by the arm and pulled him around to face him. “Will you fucking knock it off. I know you were uninjured in the fight that happened the other day. But I already fucking feel like death. I get it, you’re pissed. I’m pissed. But he came looking for peace and now you’ve essentially turned that olive branch into a pistol.”

Ryan pulled his arm free of Seth’s grasp, spared one more glare in the direction of the Ramirez, and then moved back to the pool table, inserting another couple quarters to release the balls for another game.

Seth didn’t apologize for his friend. It was clear, he hoped, that he didn’t stand in the same position, but he knew Ryan was angry for Seth, and so to speak out against him, or to apologize for him would feel like a betrayal Ryan didn’t deserve. So Seth moved back to where he had been sitting beside Matt before the others arrived, knowing in his gut that they would likely be shot while leaving the bar tonight.

“I know you don’t approve but…”

“No, Ryan. No ‘but.’ These men put me in the hospital. And we don’t have a weapon in this fight. Literally. So all you’re doing is waving the fucking red cape at the raging bull and asking me to stand behind it. I wanted a week of tourism and shopping.”

“You don’t expect me to apologize for standing up for you, do you?”

“Is that what you were doing?” Seth looked down at his glass of water, his eyes following a drop of condensation along the outside of the glass as it gathered with the rest of the drops at the wet ring at the base. “Play your game or let’s get out of here.” Seth turned his attention to Matt and Foggy. “I’m sorry. For whatever trouble that just caused the two of you. I’m so sorry.”

Matt had stayed put while Ryan and Seth wandered off. Ramirez was still there, watching, and Matt could feel satisfaction rolling off him. Ramirez would have honored his word, Matt thought -- and now he would honor this one.

"It's too bad," Ramirez murmured and patted Matt on the cheek.

"Don't touch me." Matt slapped his hand away.

"I won't have to." He nodded to his crew and they left. He was the last out the door. As for Matt, he seemed rooted in place, hands tight around his cane.

Everyone else in the bar avoided looking at them.

Foggy took his phone out.

"Don't bother," Matt said. "You know the police won't help. Especially not us."

"Then who will? Matt? We can't exactly get in a gun battle or whatever with an entire gang! In case you didn't notice!" Foggy wasn't sure whether he was more frightened or angry, but decided it didn't matter. "We need help. Maybe the cops..."

"We both know exactly how this will play out." Matt's voice had become a growl. Finally, he moved. He went and got his jacket and pulled it on. For a moment, he stood still, between Ryan and Seth, and then he shook his head without a word. He couldn't disagree with what Ryan had said, no matter how naive it had been. Ryan had an angry passion for justice, it seemed, and Matt could understand that.

Matt headed for the door.

"Matt! Where are you going?"

"Home. Make sure they get back safely, Foggy. Goodnight."

The door shut behind him.

And now, as if the certainty of his own impending death wasn’t enough, as Seth watched Matt exit the bar, he stood, winced, and considered trying to run after him. He was worried. Anxious. He had read plenty, heard plenty of stories about the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. And he had no doubt that Matt was every bit that man and more. And so, as he left in a huff, Seth wondered if he was really going home, or if he was going to make sure they could leave the bar without being attacked.

Speaking of which, Seth didn’t know what to do. Leaving was dangerous. And even though the entire bar had heard Ramirez threaten their lives, he doubted their deaths would even warrant questioning of that man and his gang. Ryan was impossible to reason with right now, and he likely wouldn’t be approachable for the rest of the night. Still, he racked another round and didn’t give Foggy the option to break, but when none of the balls actually made it into a pocket, he stepped back and rested the butt of the stick on the ground, his head hanging low.

Seth looked at Foggy. “You are not obligated to play with him. My friend and brother is a moron. But, this is also his olive branch to you. You’ve done a lot for he and I, and he’s not so good at the ‘sorrys.’”

“I’m not sorry for what I said.”

“You put our new friends in danger. You better fucking be sorry.”

Ryan looked up to meet Foggy’s eyes, and though his pride wouldn’t let him say it, his eyes admitted his remorse.

“I’ll call an uber whenever you two are ready to leave.” Let’s just hope it’s not one of the gang members who answers the call.

"Something tells me we should... finish the game," Foggy said, his voice a little tight. His vision blurred and he reached up to wipe quickly at it, then took his stick back up. He set up a shot and froze in place, ready to take it -- but he couldn't. Instead, he closed his eyes and let his head hang.

"Matt's gonna die, Seth. I know you know... it. He's gonna die. If he... stays home alone." His voice was so quiet that he wasn't sure either of them would hear it. Hell, he wasn't sure he wanted them to. He straightened up after a moment, looking pale, and took his phone out again. "Andrew? Hey. Um. It's Foggy. Look. If you. You can get hold of Elektra. Matt needs her. Right now.... yeah.... no we're in a bar. He left. Josie's. Yeah. No." Foggy sounded on the verge of tears, or maybe like he was going to be sick. "She'll understand. Please tell her." When he hung up, he hurried away to the bathroom where he was promptly sick.

A few minutes later he came out, having rinsed his mouth and washed his face. He still looked pale, but this time he took a shot.

"Lucky thirteen," he said quietly, when the thirteen plopped in.

Seth had heard him. Ryan was too busy taking a deep pull from his glass of whiskey, treating it much more like a shot than the slowly sipped on glass it was supposed to be. Seth had heard him, but he didn’t know what to do. He was less help to Matt in his condition than any of the others, and while his heart was aching and yeah, maybe he should go home… or, back to Matt’s home, he didn’t even know if Matt would be there. He didn’t know what to do.

When the Foggy returned and took the shot, Seth sat up straighter, his stomach twisting with uncertainty, and he waited for some sign, some suggestion on Foggy’s part. Ryan, however, had decided that getting drunk would be the best coping mechanism. He was brooding and silent, and every time he looked at someone, his eyes screamed that he was amping up for a fight. But Seth didn’t want it to come to that.

Ryan lost that game, horribly, and as when Foggy still had two balls left, Seth had put in an order for an uber, and he got the notification that the car was waiting outside just before Foggy sunk the eight ball.

“Right, well, our ride is here, and I think it’ll be better for all parties involved if we get out of the bar and just go somewhere quiet where we can lock the doors.” He wanted to find Matt. He wanted to make sure he was okay. And while Seth had no idea that Foggy had tried to reach out for Elektra, Seth prayed that there had been someone on Matt’s side who could help him in whatever it was he was trying to do.

Ryan swayed as he leaned against the pool stick, but he eventually nodded and -- with several attempts -- stuck it back in its place on the wall. Seth pulled cash from his wallet and closed out their tab, leaving a more than generous tip for the trouble they’d caused. And then he turned back to look at Foggy. “I think we should at least get out of here. Whatever that translates to for you, we’ll go along with. But I can’t… just sit still in here any longer.”

"We should go to Matt's..."

But gunshots drowned out whatever else Foggy was going to say. People screamed and ducked, but the bar seemed untouched.

Several more shots rang out and then a man screamed in agony, a sickening, blood-chilling cry.

Foggy curled up on the floor and prayed.

Bullets sprayed in through the glass.

There was another scream from outside. Shouting. More shots -- then silence.

Seth had ducked, like everybody else, crouched down so he was below a window, but he also crawled through the grime of the bar floor to the door.

Matt.

Was Matt out there? Was he safe? Had one of those cries been him?

Seth was about ready to run out the door — now that there had been silence — adrenaline muting out any pain he had, when he heard his name being called.

“Seth!”

When he looked back over his shoulder, just shy of pushing the door open to try and go out there, to make sure Matt wasn’t the one who had screamed out in pain, his eyes caught sight of Ryan, his face screwed up in agony, clutching at a slowly growing red stain on his lower abdomen. The words to describe what had just happened wouldn’t come to Seth’s mind, he couldn’t fathom them, couldn’t put them in the correct order. But the sight alone, and the knowledge, however incapable he was of putting it to words, of what had just happened to his best friend, to his brother, kept him inside the bar and running back in the direction of the pool tables.

Ryan slid to the floor, clutching the wound. Seth pulled out his phone and immediately called 911. “Yeah. We’re at a bar called Josie’s. There were gunshots outside. My… My brother’s been shot. In the abdomen.” Seth peeked around to look behind Ryan and then shook his head, as if answering a question. “It didn’t go all the way through.” He helped Ryan all the way down to the ground, laying on his back, hoping gravity would work in his favor and keep some of the blood inside Ryan’s body. “You fucking idiot,” he whispered to Ryan while dispatch alerted him that help was on the way. “You mother fucking idiot. You had to go and get yourself shot.”

Foggy crawled over to help with Ryan, too numb and horrified to actually think through any of this. He couldn't handle it, it was all too big, all too terrible, so he had to focus on just one thing. Just Ryan. Just Ryan and his blood.

He couldn't think about Matt. He couldn't even let himself start to wonder.

Just Ryan. Only Ryan.

----

At the hospital, Foggy couldn't leave. He looked like another sibling, too lost and worried to just be a friend or a lawyer. When they were finally allowed in, he sat numbly on one side, holding Ryan's hand, and he silently prayed. Please don't die. Please don't die. Oh my god, no. You're too young. Please don't die. We could be brothers. Please don't. Please don't.

Surgery had lasted too long, though with the touch and go situation, any length of time felt too long. Seth had tried to call Matt, but it had gone to voice mail.

“I know you’re… Fuck. Just let us know you’re alive. Tell me where to find you.”

The surgeon had assured them that Ryan, if he woke, should be through the worst of it. The bullet had hit a bone in Ryan’s hip, and they’d had to screw in a metal plate. He’d lost a lot of blood, but his blood type was O-, common enough. While Foggy sat and held Ryan’s hand, Seth paced. He was hours past the time he was supposed to take another pill, but he’d left them at Matt’s, figuring they would be back in time. The police came to talk to the guys after another hour. Luckily, they weren’t ones they’d dealt with earlier that week.

With as level of a head as he could manage, Seth explained to them the proceedings of what had happened not just that night, but that week. He said he had not seen a shooter, and could not flat out claim that it had been Ramirez, but he did share the threat that had been delivered. Seth left Matt out of it as much as possible, saying that he had left as soon as Ramirez had, and had gone home. He even claimed that he’d spoken with Matt on the phone just before he’d contacted the uber company — was the driver okay?

The cop told him they would be in touch, but to not go anywhere, not to go back home to California just yet, and they would keep him updated.

Seth returned to his seat by Ryan’s side, checking his phone.

He was distracted when Ryan opened his eyes, exhaled miserably, and then peeked down at Seth, who shook his head.

“What? I couldn’t let you continue to be the center of attention with your injuries. You know how much I like for things to be about me.”

“No. Ryan. That’s me. I’m the self-absorbed one. You’re the reckless, fighty, impulsive one. And you’re an idiot. But i’m glad you’re alive.” Seth squeezed Ryan’s hand, spared a hopefully reassuring — though still plenty worried — glance at Foggy, and then went to get the nurse.

Several hours later, a text message arrived from Matt:

>> am alive. Am safe. Can't join you at the hospital tonight. Will try tomorrow. End message.

Foggy was asleep in the chair by that point, completely unwilling to leave Ryan's side. A nurse had been in recently to check on Ryan, but things were generally quiet in the hospital -- until there came a very light tap on the door and it was pushed open by a young person.

He barely looked like he was out of his teens. Soft, dark curls framed a youthful and somewhat effeminate face, and he was dressed plainly, as if to purposefully offset his almost delicate beauty. Gray jeans, a tight gray shirt, and a dark gray denim jacket left him looking more like trash that had been swept off the street in the eighties than anything else.

"Sorry to intrude," he whispered. "Are you guys Andrew Gale's friends? He said you might need... someone to protect you." Although it seemed far too late for that, Montparnasse thought.

Seth read the message over and over again. He considered offering to go to Matt, but he needed to stay at Ryan’s side, and he knew this. But still, he hoped that Matt wasn’t injured and trying to treat himself. He didn’t question how Matt knew they’d gone to the hospital. That part of the message seemed less important. And Seth still didn’t know that Elektra had been contacted. So all he had left to do was worry. Not just about Ryan, but Matt too. As he read the message again, he considered waking Foggy just enough to give him the little bit of reassurance he might receive at knowing that Matt was alive. But Seth figured he would receive his own text message, so letting him sleep would be the kindest thing for now.

As the kid, for that’s the only word that really came to mind when he looked at the young man, entered the room and mentioned Gale’s name, Seth stared at him for a long moment, and then just gave one singular nod of affirmation. “Thanks,” he whispered, his throat full of gravel, and he shifted in his chair, holding his breath as he did, wishing he again had that same surge of adrenaline to down out the sharp jabs once more.

He didn’t know how this kid would protect them, but it seemed like a pointless conversation. Seth turned back to Ryan, leaned his head over the edge of the bed, and tried to sleep.

Both he and Foggy were woke at close to six the next morning.

“I’m sorry, boys, but during shift change in the ICU, when linens get changed and doctors make their rounds, we have to ask families to leave. Just for two hours. Then you’re welcome to come back. And hopefully he’ll be awake when you do.”

Montparnasse had been perched in the windowsill, and when those instructions came, he shook his head.

"Sorry. They can go, but I've got to stay." He reached into a pocket and pulled out a thin little badge wallet, which he offered to the nurse. "I need you not to talk about that," he said, gesturing to the id he'd handed over. "I'm undercover, but I've been tasked with protecting this man."

The nurse frowned but gave the id back. It looked genuine enough. "Alright... but the others have to go."

"Mm. We gotta get some breakfast, and go get your pain meds, huh?" Foggy stood up. He gave Montparnasse a confused look, but decided to believe him. The guy looked familiar -- and Foggy was blissfully unaware of the Uzi tucked under Montparnasse's jacket.

He got up, stretched, and kissed Ryan's forehead lightly before looking at Seth. "Matt's place? Then back here?"

#blindlyburning #one shot #the way i see it #part three #(asldkfj there will be at least ten i imagine)