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raelle-writing · 3 months

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Phee: torn between the past and the future

Phee is a deeply interesting, complex character. We know a lot about him, despite not seeing him on screen for a few episodes and not knowing about his background for a while.

This post got long so I'm putting in a break!

We know that Phee is a boy who falls in love fast and hard.

He's empathetic, and wears his emotions on his sleeves.

He's a caretaker.

We know that despite wanting to know what happened to Non, Phee also can't help trying to think the best of the group he's joined. Even trying to see another point of view when Tan calls Por a liar.

His position as of episode 9 in the story is really interesting... and also heartbreaking, in it's own way.

Phee has one foot in the past, unable to move forward, but his eyes toward the future.

In the past, he'd been in love with Non. Deeply in love. First love, arguably puppy love, but love nevertheless. That relationship ended in heartbreak for them both - Phee feeling as though Non had betrayed him by lying to him and sleeping with someone else (obligatory note that Non was groomed so we shouldn't label it as cheating, I'm just saying from Phee's POV). He was angry and hurt, and he said something awful in that moment that he didn't mean.

Afterwards, Phee is angry. He's hurt. He doesn't know what to do, so he goes to his dad for advice, and his dad tells him that he needs to talk to Non to understand why he'd done it, and move forward. In that moment, Phee doesn't know if he wants to make up with Non or not.

But eventually he takes his dad's advice to at least talk to him, and figure out why he acted the way he did. But by the time Phee is ready to hear from Non, Non is already gone.

Phee is now facing a slew of questions, and a lot of emotions. Where is Non? What happened to him? Did he really run off? Was it the friend group that did something to him? Could I have helped him if I hadn't been so angry? Did my last words make everything worse? Is he still alive? If he's dead, what will I do?

Phee is caught in a situation that many people find themselves in, at some point or another in life. Where a relationship (friendship or more) ends, but you get no closure. He's caught between wishing he knew what happened, feeling guilty, wanting to get Non back so he can talk to him and get answers... while also being basically out of the relationship entirely because he and Non broke up, and never got back together.

Then, Phee meets New, and it's easy to agree to his scheme. For the two of them to switch schools, infiltrate the friend group that was around Non, and see if they can figure out what happened to him. It's easy to say yes to New, because that's what Phee wants more than anything. Answers. He wants to know what happened to Non, but he also wants to know more than that. Why Non did what he did. If they can work it out and get together again. There's so many questions plaguing Phee's mind, and the lack of answers makes it impossible for him to move forward.

But then, at the same time, life moves on. It's been months since Non vanished already (the start of a new school year and it seemed like the old school year was still in session when they finished the movie, so at least a few months). Phee finds himself with a new group of friends. And while he's suspicious of them, he also has fun with them.

Phee isn't the type of person who can wholeheartedly condemn others. He doesn't have Tan's ability to write them all off as assholes.

Time passes, and Phee moves on. He removes the bracelet he once wore, even before he started classes at the new school. Perhaps he did it because he didn't want to give away his connection to Non - but he didn't have to. It was a simple red bracelet. No one in the group would've seen that and connected him to Non. I don't even think Jin would've, though Jin would've noticed it and wondered about it I'm sure. But Phee took it off anyway.

And, later, Phee takes Jin to the spot he once took Non. He takes him to Phee's special place.

While he's there, he's reminded of Non. He talks about Non. But the way he talks about Non is fond and distant. More of a nice memory, than something that's actively haunting him.

And you can tell by the look on Jin's face that Jin can tell. He knows what what Phee is talking about was in the past. Otherwise he wouldn't look so happy (considering we know he has a jealous streak). And Jin definitely wouldn't have seduced Phee if he got the vibe that Phee still liked someone else.

And then, that night, Phee sleeps with Jin. And perhaps Phee was thinking of Non in those moments, but I highly doubt it. Because I don't think the boy who told Non to "get lost and die" over perceived cheating would sleep with someone else while he's still in love with Non. That, and there's the soft look on his face the next morning...

Phee has moved on. His feelings have changed. He wants to find out what happened to Non, but honestly if it wasn't for his connection to New, I'm not sure how much longer Phee would've kept looking. He's young. He's found a new love. That doesn't mean his love for Non never mattered, or doesn't still impact him in different ways. It just means he's healed, and is looking to the future. That's normal for grief and loss. It becomes part of us, but eventually we learn to live with it and continue our lives.

But the past keeps pulling him back, in the form of New, and news about Non. First when New calls him out for sleeping with Jin and asking if he's cheating. Phee's response might be partially a lie and partially the truth. But he's at least lying to himself about why he did it.

I think Phee saying he loves Non is true - he probably does. In a distant way, of someone he lost. He has fond memories of him. He misses Non, too. But I think what he's telling New - and telling himself - about it being "just the same" is the lie. Phee is in denial that he's catching feelings for Jin. He's in denial about the reasons he did it, and he knows that. Because despite sleeping with Jin and flirting with him, he never asks Jin about Non.

Then he gets another reminder in the form of a news article about Non.

Google translate on the right.

That article brings it back - the anger, the grief, the rage. At himself, for what he said to Non. At Non for the lies he told - the reminder of Non sleeping with Keng. At the situation that he found himself in. He's yanked back to the past again, and all the guilt that comes with it.

And in that moment, he shoves Jin away. He lets the guilt and anger win as he draws a firm line. He denies his feelings, denies that he feels anything at all for Jin, and returns to his mission: to find out what happened to Non.

But in that moment, he doesn't realize that he's lost his future. Because he loses Jin. Jin won't speak to him, won't return his calls, gives him the cold shoulder. Won't even smile at him for the next two years.

Phee tries to talk to Jin, two years later. He hasn't moved on from Jin. Because he's trapped in the same friend group as Jin by his goal: learn more about Non. He can't leave the group to get away from Jin. No space. Which means neither he, nor Jin, are able to heal from what happened. Jin is now trapped in the past, just as much as Phee is.

Phee can't abandon New, can't abandon the mission they set out for, because it means abandoning every question that he still wants answers to. It means abandoning Non, once and for all. But in clinging to the past, he can't move to the future either. He can't choose Jin, but he doesn't want to lose him entirely.

In the present, Phee is still caught between the past and the future. The past being what happened to Non and New's scheme to learn information. And the future, his feelings for Jin that he can't deny anymore, that he can't run from. But that he also can't give in to, because of everything with New.

Phee's character is in stasis. He wants to grow. He wants to move on. If he didn't, he never would've caught feelings for Jin, much less slept with him. But he can't. Because of a sense of duty - to Non, who he failed to help, failed to protect. And now to Non's brother, who can't give up looking for him. And as long as New is looking for Non, Phee has to as well, or it means abandoning the very last piece of Non he has left.

But he's also torn, because while he's working with New on his scheme, he wants to protect Jin, the person he loves now. Perhaps even because he couldn't save Non, so now his redemption will be saving Jin?

This scene could be a plot by Phee to get Jin to open up, using his own tears and guilt in that way, but I do think his concern for Jin is real regardless.

I think Phee's final arc in the show will be having to choose, once and for all, between the past (Non and by extension New) and the future (Jin). I'm not sure what he'll choose yet, because there are still many unknowns and thinks that both Jin and Phee don't know about each other... but I hope that he can learn to choose the future. Because if he chooses the past, he'll never in his life be happy (though if Non is alive there's a possibility he could eventually learn to be happy, but I think the chance of that is low). And I think he deserves that, even if he's made some mistakes.

#dff the series #dead friend forever #dff #phee dff #pheejin #phee phromjinda #phi phromjinda #phijin #dff meta #dff analysis #dff spoilers #idk I just love Phee a lot #Phee is best boy

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recentadultburnout · 4 months

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Dead Friend Forever - DFF (2023)

เพื่อนตาย (the series name in Thai) means best friend, true friend, real friend, faithful friend, but it consists of the words 'friend (เพื่อน)' and 'dead/die (ตาย)'.

Phi พี

Ratthakiat Phromjinda รัฐเกียรติ พรหมจินดา

Phi-meaty, plump, fat (positive meaning) or it might be shortened from something, or maybe a letter P.

Rat- state, country, nation, territory, realm, kingdom, land

Tha-a sound that put in to help link two words(Rat and Kiat) together.

Kiat- prestige, honour, honor, glory, reputation, dignity, fame

Phrom-Brahma

Jinda-precious stone, gem

Jin จิน

Jinnaphat Sukmek จิณณภัทร สุขเมฆ

Jin-This (จิน) spelling has no meaning in Thai. It might just be a simplified spelling of his legal name's first syllable(จิณ).or maybe it means to represent a word from other language. idk

Jin (จิณ)-Well behaved, one who behaved well

na-a sound that put in to help link two words together.

phat-good, prosperous, excellent

Suk-happy, happiness, joy

Mek-cloud

Tee ตี๋

Pariphat Wanit ปริพัฒน์ วาณิชย์

Tee-Chinese boy

Pariphat-Prosperous in every way

Wanit-Commerce, trade, business

White ไวท์

Watcharin Siriphan วัชรินทร์ ศิริพันธ์

White-Not a Thai word

Watcharin-Lord of Diamonds/Thunder (refer to Lord Indra)

Siri-splendor, glory

phan-binding, related, bound

Tan แทน

Siriwat Phatthanon ศิริวัฒน์ พัฒนานนท์

Tan-represent, stand for, substitute, replace, take the place of, substitute for, supplant, supercede, show gratitude to, repay(meaning dependent on the context)

Siriwat-prosperous

Phatthanon-rejoice in prosperity

Fluke ฟลุ้ค

Phakhin Thianthong ภาคิน เทียนทอง

Fluke-Not a Thai word

Phakhin-lucky person

Thianthong-gold candle, name of a plant (Duranta erecta L)

Top ท้อป

Sirawit Wibulsilp สิรวิชญ์ วิบูลย์ศิลป์

Top-Not a Thai word

Sirawit-The greatest philosopher

Wibul-big, spacious, many, full, complete

Silp-art

Por ปอ

Prachaya Suwannarat ปราชญา สุวรรณรัตน์

Por-jute, hemp, dragonfly

Prachaya-wit

Suwan-gold

Na-a sound that put in to help link Suwan and Rat together.

Rat-gem, precious stone. Might be refer to The Three Jewels of Buddhism (just my opinion)

Non นนท์

Thanakorn Prathipsit ธนกร ประทีปสิทธิ์

Non-pleasure, delight, enjoyment, happiness, joy, contentment, satisfaction

Thanakorn-Create wealth/assets

Prathip-lamp, lantern, light, torch

Sit-right, authority, privilege, ownership, possibility

Keng เก่ง

Ratchanon Kijkarun รัชชานนท์ กิจการุณย์

Keng-excellently, expertly, proficiently, skilfully, brilliantly, good at

Ratchanon-rejoice in treasure

Kij-affair, activity, work, business, operation, duty

Karun- kindliness, compassion, pity, mercy, gracefulness, benevolence, kindheartedness, beneficent

If you look closely, you may notice that some words in the names and surnames of each character are repeated.

The meanings of some of them are pretty similar too.

Not that it's weird.

I just feel like it is a little more than usual. But it isn't exactly like they are a set with an intended theme?? It's just that some of the words they use are kind of in the same group in my head????

Index

#name'smeaning #dead friend forever

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