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artekai · 4 years

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As Far as I’m Concerned

Fandom: Persona 4 x Persona 5 Royal

Rating: General Audiences

Pairing: Dojima Ryotaro/Maruki Takuto

Summary: Half the time, Ryotaro doesn’t know what’s going through Takuto’s mind. But, even so, he’ll always be there for his husband, no matter what.

(Dojima comforts Maruki after a nightmare)

// Read on AO3 //

For @personararepairweek day 4: Hurt/Comfort / Future (Though, technically, this could fit the “future” prompt too)

In the dead of night and in a small, quiet town like Inaba, the sounds of muffled crying were all the more noticeable. At first, Ryotaro’s sleep was interrupted only due to the sound itself, but he became more alert as soon as he realized where it was coming from. He stirred in his futon, let out a groan, which made the crying stop instantly, and forced himself to fully wake up.

After rubbing his eyes to wipe the sleepiness off them, he saw a shadow sitting crossed-legged at the edge of the futon. Considering the outline of the figure’s silhouette and the empty space next to Ryotaro, it could only be one person.

“Takuto?” Ryotaro asked, his groggy voice making him sound more inconvenienced than he would’ve liked. “What are you doing up at this hour?”

Takuto sighed, as he lifted one of his arms, presumably to scratch his head or place his hand against his forehead. “Ah, darling, I’m sorry... I woke you up…”

“Doesn’t matter. What’s wrong?”

Takuto hesitated, but, after some careful consideration, he shook his head, still not turning to look at Ryotaro. After a few more beats of silence, he answered.

“Nothing.” He said. “It’s okay, you don’t have to worry about me. I’m fine.”

Ryotaro frowned. “I can hear you’re obviously not fine. Tell me, what’s wrong?”

“Ryou, please, I didn’t mean to upset you. Everything’s alright.” Breathing in deeply, he turned his head towards a wall as if searching for a distraction to try and clear his head. “I just need a glass of water and I’ll be alright.”

Takuto moved to stand up, but Ryotaro caught his arm on time and brought him back onto the futon, pulling him closer with a “c’mere.” He grabbed Takuto’s shoulders and tried to position him so that they could both be comfortable, but every movement was awkward, as Takuto was strangely stiff. He tried to adjust himself, but he seemed to be purposely avoiding having to face Ryotaro, which made everything even more difficult.

It wasn’t long until Ryotaro figured out why he was acting that way. Takuto didn’t want him to look at his face, because, from up close, it was even more obvious that he had been crying; his cheeks were damp with tears and he had a heartbroken glint in his eyes that quickly turned into guilt under Ryotaro’s scrutinizing gaze.

“You’re having nightmares again, aren’t you?”

Takuto’s eyes narrowed, as he looked away from Ryotaro, and nodded almost imperceptibly.

It wasn’t much of a surprise. Every now and then, Takuto had nightmares that varied in intensity, that came and went in waves that couldn’t be predicted. After a couple of years of living together, Ryotaro had come to expect this kind of stuff to happen every once in a while, given Takuto’s turbulent past, so he already knew what to watch out for and how to react.

Although Ryotaro was mostly unaware of the contents of these nightmares, he could clearly see that they caused Takuto a lot of distress. His brain probably had a lot of material to work with, considering everything that Takuto had been through, while also factoring in the supernatural element... Ryotaro couldn’t even begin to imagine the kind of Lovecraftian horrors they featured, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to, to be honest.

That was worrying in and out of itself, but Ryotaro’s concern was only exacerbated by the fact that Takuto kept insisting on dealing with his nightmares by himself, instead of reaching out for help.

Ryotaro let out a long sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Takuto, you know you don’t have to deal with everything on your own. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It’s late and you have to get up early for work tomorrow, so I didn’t want to trouble you…” Takuto dipped his head. “But I guess that, in the end, I still did. I’m so sorry…”

He trailed off, his voice breaking with the last few words. Unable to resist anymore, he leaned in, buried his face into Ryotaro’s chest, and let the other man wrap his arms around his body. He gritted his teeth, his breathing hitching as he struggled to keep himself together, but a pained hiss escaped him despite his best efforts to choke back his tears.

“No need to apologize.” Ryotaro said, stroking Takuto’s back in a soothing motion. “Just… tell me when something’s wrong. I know you think it’s a pain, but it’s not. I love you, Takuto, and I wanna help you however I can. That’s what family is for.”

“You’re right.” Takuto whispered, not returning the embrace but gladly melting into it. “Keeping my problems to myself never turned out well for me, or for anyone around me.” He sucked in a breath and chuckled wryly. “I’m such a fool...”

“Hey.” Ryotaro softly pushed Takuto away so he could gaze into his eyes. “Things happen. People make mistakes. It’s okay.”

Takuto gave him a half-hearted smile, before falling over Ryotaro’s chest like a rag doll. He rested against Ryotaro, taking in as much of his warmth as possible, as he placed his arms around Takuto once again. Over the course of a few minutes, Takuto began to tremble in soft spasms, as it got harder to hold the pain in, until he let out a pitiful sob that broke Ryotaro’s heart.

“It’s okay.” He muttered. “Everything’s okay now. I’m here if you wanna talk.”

He knew that he probably wouldn’t, because it hurt him to talk about those nightmares of his, but the offer itself meant a lot to Takuto regardless. Ryotaro understood how important it was, too; after all, Takuto was a reserved person who hated burdening others, so he often needed to be reminded that there were people around him who did care about him and who truly wanted to help him.

“Nnh… It’s one of those migraines...”

Ryotaro perked up at Takuto’s voice. That was a problem he could solve.

“Hold on, I’ll go get an aspirin.” He said, letting go of Takuto, shifting on the futon, and turning away from him. “Don’t move.”

“Ah, w-wait!”

Takuto reached out, grabbed Ryotaro’s shoulder, and pushed him down, preventing him from standing up. He pressed his forehead against Ryotaro’s back, his nose prodding against his skin, as his free hand clutched his arm, leaving the other man in an awkward position that he found he didn’t mind at all.

“P-Please. Stay.” Takuto mumbled against Ryotaro’s back. “I need to make sure this is real.”

Ryotaro couldn’t help but smile fondly, even though he knew Takuto couldn’t see him. “It’s okay.” He said. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Ryotaro simply sat there, in silence, listening to the rhythm of Takuto’s soft but broken breathing, which gradually evened out over time. The hand around Ryotaro’s wrist was cold and the grip was tight, but it loosened up over time as Takuto grew more relaxed.

Takuto swallowed audibly in the stillness of the night, before whispering, “... Ryotaro?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you… satisfied with this reality?” Takuto spoke slowly, threading through his words carefully. “The one we’re in right now?”

“Takuto...” Ryotaro let out a sigh, rubbing at his temple. “Look. As far as I’m concerned, this is the reality where we are a family, and I wouldn’t change that for the world.”

The grip around Ryotaro’s wrist tightened again, as Takuto’s voice took on a sharp, pointed tone. “Are you sure?” He asked. “I understand that there’s a lot that I can’t provide, no matter how hard I try, so there’s no need to lie to spare my feelings.”

Ryotaro huffed. He looked over his shoulder with a smile. “Are you calling me a liar?”

Takuto’s eyes widened. “Oh, no, not at all! I just want to know if you’re a hundred percent sure. Our lives might not be perfect, but I want you to be happy… even if it’s not by my side.”

“What?” Ryotaro grimaced, shifting in place to face Takuto head-on. “I am happy with the way things are right now. And, of course, I can’t speak for Nanako, but she seems happy too. You don’t have to do more than you’re already doing.” He reached up with one hand, gently cupping Takuto’s cheek. “I mean it.”

Takuto placed his own hand over Ryotaro’s and melted into his touch, his eyelids sliding shut. He breathed in and out, in and out, enjoying the soothing silence of the night, before he let out a strangled noise. “Thank you for saying that.” He muttered, his voice cracking. “You always know what to say.”

“Come on now. I’m still figuring this out.” Ryotaro said. “You know there’s not much I can do about stuff like this, other than to be here and lend you an ear.”

Takuto’s eyes fluttered open, gazing at him with either a lovestruck or sleepy expression. “Oh, no, Ryou, that’s alright.” He whispered, as he gave Ryotaro’s hand a soft squeeze. “That’s all I could ever ask for.”

Ryotaro couldn’t help but shake his head at that, as he brushed his fingers over Takuto’s forehead, sweeping the hair out of his husband’s face. “Heh, you’re saying cheesy crap again.”

“Well, it might sound cheesy, but it’s true.”

Ryotaro smiled, amused at Takuto’s adorable mannerisms and corny lines. “Aaaand you did it again.”

Takuto returned the smile in spite of himself, knowing full well he was guilty as charged. “Hey, if you want me to take your word at face value, I need you to take mine too. That includes all of the cheesy lines too, you know.”

“Okay, that’s fair.” Ryotaro shrugged, still absorbed in his task. Once he had successfully swept Takuto’s unruly bedhead to the side, he put a hand behind his husband’s head, and leaned in to press a kiss against his forehead. “If you’re feeling better, we should go to sleep. We have work tomorrow.”

“Ah, of course, yes!” Takuto said, right before a yawn escaped him, as if on cue. “... Let’s go back to sleep now.”

Takuto scooted away to make room for Ryotaro, since they had both moved towards the latter’s side of the futon, and laid down with a sigh. After rearranging his pillow, Ryotaro settled next to Takuto, who turned towards him and coyly wrapped his arms around his waist, placing his head over Ryotaro’s chest.

“Good night, darling.” He mumbled, eyes already closed. “Sweet dreams.”

Ryotaro smiled. “‘Night.” He said, briefly admiring Takuto’s peaceful expression before closing his eyes as well. “Sleep well, love.”

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artekai · 4 years

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A Pink Alligator in a Forest of Green

Fandom: Persona 4 x Persona 5 Royal

Rating: General Audiences

Characters: Dojima Ryotaro, Maruki Takuto, Dojima Nanako, and Narukami Yu

Pairing: Dojima Ryotaro/Maruki Takuto

Summary: Dojima comes home from work to find Yu and Maruki helping Nanako with her homework. Coincidentally, he also has some pending business with Maruki, so he takes the chance to have a private talk with his work partner.

// Read on AO3 //

For @personararepairweek day 1: Roleswap / Hanahaki AU

In this AU, Maruki is swapped with Adachi, but the main pairing is Dojima x Maruki.

On one of those rare days when Dojima just so happened to go home earlier, he ran across a rather pleasant surprise. At first, he thought it was weird that he wasn’t greeted with an enthusiastic “Welcome home!” as soon as he walked through the door, but he soon realized that the reason why no one had been alerted to his presence was that they were all engulfed in a story that someone was reading out loud.

“... And so no one remembered the pink alligator.”

Dojima instantly recognized the narrator’s voice. It belonged to Maruki, his junior partner, who had left the station a couple hours before him, and who, apparently, was now hanging out in his house while he was away. It didn’t bother him, as Maruki had been there many times before, but it would’ve been nice to get a heads-up in advance.

Dojima took off his shoes and hung back to listen in for a bit.

“Even today, the lake is shining the way it always did.” Maruki put the book down audibly. “The end.”

“Aww…” Nanako cooed. “That’s so sad…”

“It is.” He said. “It’s hard to believe they are asking you to read this at school. It’s way too upsetting for a children’s book.”

That’s when Yu decided to cut in. “It wasn’t all bad. The alligator had a positive impact on the other animals’ lives, even if he didn’t realize it.”

“Well, I’m glad that’s what you took away from it,” Maruki said, “But, after everything he went through, don’t you think that the alligator deserved a happy ending?”

“Uh huh!” Nanako protested. “He was very lonely, and he just wanted friends.”

“No, I agree with you, Nanako.” Yu scrambled to correct himself. “No one deserves to go through that. However, I think that the moral of the story is that all of us can help make the world a better place, even if we don’t realize it yet.”

“Of course, I get where you’re coming from.” Maruki said. “Still, I can only imagine the amount of guilt that the alligator had to deal with after what happened to the bird…”

At that moment, Dojima decided it was time to make his entrance, so he stepped into the living room, announcing himself. “I’m home!”

“Dad!” Nanako said, her face brightening up with a wide grin. “Welcome home!”

They were all sitting around the low table, with the book placed over it, and the TV was turned off. The atmosphere seemed cozy, strangely easy-going, and definitely more homely than whenever Dojima arrived at a silent house only to get a few hours of sleep and be on his way before Yu and Nanako woke up.

“Ah, Dojima-san!” Maruki said. “Good evening. I’m sorry for coming over without first asking for your permission, but Narukami-kun invited me and I couldn’t exactly turn him down.”

“It’s fine.” Dojima waved it off, as he approached the group. “What were you up to?”

Maruki tilted his head towards the table. “We’ve been helping Nanako-chan with her homework.”

“Hmhm.” Nanako nodded. “I had to read this book and get a mark from a grown-up saying that I did it.” She turned towards Maruki. “Can I get a mark now?”

“Of course! You did a great job.” He smiled, but then he looked at Dojima out of the corner of his eye and reconsidered. “Although… Wouldn’t you prefer to get a mark from your father, since he got here just in time?”

Nanako frowned. “But you promised!”

“Well,” Dojima said, plopping down on the couch with a sigh. “I can’t exactly give her a mark if I wasn’t here while you guys were reading.”

“That’s a good point.” Maruki turned back to Nanako. “Fine, I’ll give you one. Where should I sign?”

She handed him the slip of paper where the instructions of assignment were presumably written. He slipped a pen out of his suit pocket, but hesitated, glancing at Nanako. She smiled, encouraging, and he returned the gesture before drawing a smiley face neatly and giving the piece of the paper back.

“Is that alright, Nanako-chan?”

“Yay! I like it!” She said. “Thank you, Maruki-san!”

He chuckled. “Glad I could help!”

Dojima sat back and watched the whole exchange fondly, thinking that Maruki would be a great father to Nanako. He already had an idea to show his appreciation for his partner, but seeing him help Nanako with her homework with so much glee only cemented Dojima’s decision in his mind.

After that, the evening passed by fairly quickly. For once, Dojima managed to kick back a little and enjoy the pleasant chat he had with his daughter, his nephew, and his partner while they had dinner together. They watched some TV, commenting on it occasionally, and then Dojima sent Nanako to bed, tucking her in and everything. It felt kinda weird, given that he was rarely ever home these days and that Chisato used to be the one who tucked Nanako into bed, but he found himself enjoying the closeness. Things around the house had definitely started to feel different since Yu had arrived, and he was beginning to open up little by little. Even if facing her was still a bit painful, he had missed those small moments he spent together with Nanako more than he had initially thought…

By the time Dojima went back downstairs, he realized that Maruki was having a serious conversation with Yu, judging by the tone of his voice. They were now standing near the entrance, as if Maruki was getting ready to leave.

“... It’s for your own good.” He said. “The last thing I want is for you to get hurt.”

“Who’s getting hurt?” Dojima asked.

“Oh, nobody, hopefully.” Maruki knitted his brows. “I was only advising Narukami-kun to stay away from crime scenes. There haven’t been any more murders since spring, but we can never be too safe. Isn’t that right, Dojima-san?”

“Yeah.” Dojima glared at Yu. “If you won’t take it from me, at least take it from Maruki.”

He had warned Yu to stay out of the murder case time and time again, but he didn’t seem to be getting through to him. Of course, Dojima’s warnings always sounded more like an interrogation or a reprimand than like a friendly piece of advice, so maybe he would listen to Maruki, who was the opposite; always approachable and overly youthful.

Maruki placed his hand on his chest, his voice dripping with sympathy. “I understand that you’re worried, but it’s best for everyone if you leave the case to us.”

Yu was quiet, as usual, but there was something unnatural about it. He stared at Maruki a little too intently, a little too distrustfully, as if he wanted to take his words at face value but knew he couldn’t.

However, Maruki didn’t waver, as his concerned frown was still plastered onto his face. “By hanging around crime scenes, not only are you putting yourself in danger, but also on the police’s radar. I don’t think you’re suspicious, but I wouldn’t want to see you or any of your friends getting into unnecessary trouble.” Maruki’s tone then softened. “Will you promise to at least try to stay safe?”

Yu closed his eyes. “I’ll try.”

“Good.” Maruki nodded, before an idea struck him. “Oh, I almost forgot! I also meant to ask you not to overwork yourself with school and part-time jobs. You’ve been taking on a lot of responsibilities, but you should be hanging out with your peers and enjoying yourself. Make the most of your stay in Inaba while you are still here.”

“Come on…” Dojima said. “He’s got a lot of energy at his age, so he should put that to a good use. I’m sure he knows his limits.”

Dojima didn’t get why a hard worker like Maruki seemed to be in a constant quest to promote laziness, but that was his way of showing how much he cared for Yu. Not like the kid would take that advice seriously, given how many activities he had packed into his schedule. He really did take after his mother… and Dojima, to some extent.

“Dojima-san is right.” Yu said. “I’ll be fine.”

Yu then proceeded to dismiss himself to go to his room. The three of them exchanged their good nights before he went upstairs.

Maruki took that as the cue to take his leave. “I should get going as well.”

He turned around, but Dojima grabbed his wrist before he could make for the door. “Hey, not so fast. I need to have a word with you.”

Maruki glanced at him over his shoulder, his eyes widening. “Is something wrong?”

“No, don’t worry. This won’t take long.”

Maruki hesitantly stepped back, as Dojima made his way towards one of the kitchen cabinets, opened it, and produced an object so quickly that Maruki didn’t get the chance to see what it was until he had planted it over the table. Dojima leaned back to witness Maruki’s reaction when he saw the gift: it was a purple mug, similar to the ones Nanako, Yu, and Dojima himself had.

“Here. This is for you.”

Maruki could only gape, clearly having been caught off-guard, and he stared at the mug in shock. “Dojima-san…!”

“You’re officially part of the family now.” Dojima smiled. “Swing by whenever you want.”

“I can’t…” Maruki shook his head. “I can’t accept this.”

“Why not? You’ve been looking out for Yu and Nanako, and I’m very thankful for that.” He then paused, realizing that Maruki might not be as excited about the compromise as him. “Uh… Do you want me to show my gratitude some other way?”

Maruki broke out of his reverie, putting his hands up and shaking them in denial. “Oh, no, no, it’s okay! I’m not uncomfortable, only surprised! In fact, I’m flattered, because I know this means a lot to you -- a-and it means a lot to me too -- but I never thought you’d consider me deserving of… being part of your family.”

He stepped towards the table, carefully grabbed the mug, and inspected it with a sad smile on his face, holding it with both hands like it was a prized artwork, the only one of its kind. He then placed it back on the table, but he kept staring at it while he ran his finger over the rim, deep in thought.

“I have to confess…” He said, his eyes still on the mug. “What I told Nanako-chan wasn’t entirely accurate.”

Dojima raised a brow. “About what?”

Maruki’s expression was unreadable. “About the pink alligator.” He said. “Unfortunately, he wasn’t fated to live a happy ending, but his sorrow brought joy to all of the other animals, whether they recognized him for it or not. I guess that was the purpose of his existence.” Maruki glanced up at Dojima. “And I have a feeling that that was enough for him.”

But Dojima thought he had heard Nanako mention that the alligator wanted friends… Surely he wouldn’t have been satisfied with his fate. Then again, Dojima didn’t know the whole story, so he didn’t have enough information to draw a conclusion.

He chuckled. “If Nanako heard you talking like that, she would be up in arms about how the alligator deserved better.”

“But he didn’t.” Maruki insisted. “Even if it was accidental, he was still guilty for hurting the bird. Before the incident, he was treated unfairly by the other animals due to a characteristic he couldn’t control... but after the incident, he was the one who caused his own loneliness. He might’ve regretted what he did, and he might’ve wanted to turn back time to save his friend, but that was impossible. He was left alone to deal with his pain on his own.”

For someone who was kind to everyone, Maruki was being surprisingly harsh to a fictional animal, of all things...

Dojima grimaced. “You’re reading way too much into it. It’s just a children’s book.”

“Perhaps.” Maruki sighed, before recovering his usual gentle smile. “Sorry for going off on a tangent like that. Thanks for the mug, Dojima-san.”

Maruki excused himself, muttering a quick “good night”, a “rest well”, and a “see you tomorrow”, and scurried out of the house, almost like he was in a hurry to get somewhere.

With his departure, Dojima was left alone to wonder… had Maruki truly liked the mug? Or was he just being polite? He didn’t seem as excited as Dojima thought he would be… Rather, he seemed melancholic, for some reason. Had Dojima jumped the gun? Did Maruki not see himself as part of this family? Maybe he wasn’t ready for the kind of commitment that the mug implied, not that it implied that anything had to change in practice... And why had he started to ramble about the pink alligator? What part did he play in all of this?

Dojima groaned, placing the mug back into the cabinet. If Maruki were still here, he would’ve told him to turn off his racing thoughts and stop looking for answers to everything, because that would only stress him out. There might’ve been some truth to those words…

Dojima resolved to go to bed early. He couldn’t remember the last time he had had a full night’s sleep anyway, so maybe it’d do him some good.

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