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borisbubbles · 5 years

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Eurovision 2010s: 75 - 71

75. Valentina Monetta - “Crisalide (Vola)” San Marino 2013

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The middle chapter of one of Eurovision’s most epic saga’s. God, I may be an insane book nerd for looking for ~THE BEST STORY~ every year, but Valentina had one forreal and it was legit a great one. While the first chapter established Valentina as a universally beloved backstage darling, and the third rewarded her previous struggles with a spot in the finale, it’s the second that I hold dear the most: It put Valentina on the mark as an artist who mattered. Like a butterfly emerging from chrysalis, if you will? 🦋

Needless to say, it comes down to Valentina’s song, which is again, one of the better Siegel compositions: “Crisalide” has all I need in my Eurovision anthems: emotional imput, a great beat (made to resemble an irl heartbeat), a eurofriendly message about spreading wings and flying away, topped off with a KILLER KEY CHANGE. Like, this moment:

is one of spine-shivers. What a great entry. My 2013 self was DEVASTATED when she NQd, but my 2019 self is thrilled Valentina got to return and write history as Stan Marino’s first qualifier. 🦋 ALL HAIL THE LEGEND THAT IS VALENTINA MONETTA! 🦋 VOLA! INSIEME A MEEEEEEEEE 🦋

And that concludes San Marino! It’s pretty weird that I’m usually into “STANNING SHIT FOR THE SHITTINESS” movement, because San Marino is a country formed AROUND being deliberately bad. However, intentional humour is very often less funny than unintentional humour and because of this I find it very hard to get into the San Marinese shitfests. They’re capable of greatness though, and hopefully can capitalize on Serhat’s qualification to serve us some delicious campness in the future.

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74. Greta Salóme - “Hear them calling” Iceland 2016

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ANOTHER gut-twisting NQ. 😭 To be fair, I can sort of understand why Greta 2.0 flopped? The act is very similar to Sergey’s, but not as eye-catching, and the lighting is a bit too dark, making it dificult to connect with her.

However, having said that... what a STUPID reason to NQ one of the best songs in 2016 o__O. “Hear them calling” is a great song: It has a truly haunting atmosphere, a visually stunning act and infectuous melody. The only wish I have is that Greta had stuck to the Icelandic version though because that one is even more epic.

Another thing I really like about “Hear them calling” is, well, Greta herself. I think she’s one of the most talented Eurovision songwriters, consistently churning out magical music, but at the same time is held back as a performer by her stagefright. Seeing her overcome it and ~blossom~ into a murder of crows the confident woman she deserves to be makes me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside. BRING HER BACK (as a songwriter lol).

And with Greta’s elimination, HATARI are now the sole Icelandic rep standing. Love has won!

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73. Miki - “La venda” Spain 2019

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LMFAO it truly was a crazy ride with Miki. When “La Venda” was first selected, it was a massive burst of uncoordinated positive energy, in desperate need of taming. A revamp polished off all the raw edges, pre-packaging it for greatness. “So it happens” BorisBubbles thought, taking an indifferent sip of cold coffee from a bone china mug. “Spain are going to break their flop streak :slurp:”

Silly me, I had completely forgotten that, oh hello, this is fucking SPAIN and Spain doesn’t *do* competent whoops. Thank fuck they went all out with “La venda’s” staging because the results were fucking GLORIOUS. From the giant manikin rocking the dollhouse

over the go-pro,

to the technicolour explosions,

"La venda” sent a pyroclastic flow of party energy all over Europe, covering our faces with celebratory soot when we didn’t expect it. This... was fucking AWESOME though, because the eruption of Mount-St.-Nuñez was one of unbridled fun, but it also overloaded the maximum capacity of ownage energy, which short-circuited the jurors.😭 May next year’s jurors grow themselves a stronger tolerance for kickassness.😭 Nevertheless, Miki and his friends capped this decent Grand Final off in great style, turning what was a fun competent reggaeton into an EXPERIENCE.

That leaves RUTH as highest ranked Spanish entry:

“SOY YO? SOY YO??” -“RUTH!” -“AAAAAAA!!!!!”

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72. András Kállay-Saunders - “Running” Hungary 2014

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SHE CALLS PHARRELL, SHE CALLS PHARRELL, BUT NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE.

I will just plunge into this write-up in medias res because “Running” is one of those songs that feels like the “perfect” Eurovision entry on many levels. It’s a great example of a dark, contemporary hit single that would hit the charts on its own.

It also tackles the issue of child abuse with grace and elegance, addressing the topic head-on, but NEVER trivializing it. This PSA is supported by András who makes for a very convincing narrator and a sublime dance act portrayed where the pain and terror is portrayed with harrowing accuracy.

Which brings me to why I’m booting it now, and not like, in the top 20. “Running” suffers from the fact that it is *too effective*. I think that, on an academic level, "Running” is probably one of the ten best entries in this decade. On a practical level however, “Running” is still an entry that gut-punches me into contemplative silence, but... it’s also very serious, distubring and saddening at the same time. It does not have the same level of replayability or likability that the upper tier Eurovision entries do. Ergo, I have to boot it now. bye.

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71. Sofia Nizharadze - “Shine” Georgia 2010

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“Shine” was one of my intensely random faves back in 2010, so there is a lot of nostalgia resonating in dragging it this high. With that caveat out of the way though, I will say the deal is very similar to that of “Running”. Like, “Running”, “Shine” feels like a ‘perfect’ entry on an academic level. Like “Running”, it is kind of lacking on a connection level despite getting everything right. However, unlike “Running” it has a lot of heart seeping through the performance. Yes, Sopho is a notorious “slrrer vf wrds” 😍 which is just the endearment I needed.

You see, “Shine” may be a generic love ballad, pleasant and little else, but I actually think the act is the real showstopper. I could watch Sopho getting flung around for hours and never get bored. LK THE TDS GNA TRN YO ANOW

NNNNNNNNN BT ITS CLLLLLLD.

YR LL N YR WN BT YR NVR UH-LNNNNNNNNNNNN!!

SHYNNN SHYNNN LK D STRZ N D SKYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

100% deserving of being the best scoring Georgian act in Eurovision!!! But not this ranking because “Midnight Gold” is not of this fucking planet. Congratulations Nikangel Kocharov!!

#Eurovision #Eurovision Song Contest #Georgia #Hungary #Spain #Iceland #San Marino #Valentina Monetta #Crisalide (Vola)#Greta Salome #Hear Them Calling #Raddirnar #Miki #La Venda #Andras Kallay-Saunders #Running #Sofia Nizharadze #Shine

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