#people try to claim Shipping Bad Things(tm) is self-harm and i'm like man in my case that is the literal exact opposite of the truth

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

things that really suck: when a fucked up fictional dynamic is genuinely upsetting to you in a way that'd normally be much easier to engage with and process if you dead doved it, except the ship in question has been ruined for you by Bad Associations so that is a no-go and you're left to deal with the upsetting shit raw. ugh

#whosebaby talks #personal stuff #people try to claim Shipping Bad Things(tm) is self-harm and i'm like man in my case that is the literal exact opposite of the truth #dead doving triggering fictional stuff i'm trying to process is a near instant release valve to make it less of an emotional minefield #and i feel the lack of that safety valve *keenly* when i need to engage with something in fiction to process it #and would be greatly helped in the long run by doing so; but i'm either not *interested* in shipping it #or it's been ruined for me in a way that i really am not ready to reclaim yet if ever; and would do me more harm than good if i tried #i have to be so *so* much more careful and it is *so* much easier for it to tip over into self-harm without rigorous work and safety nets #especially if the framing of the fucked up dynamic is awful in canon #it is still definitely possible for something i'm dead doving to be Too Much and in need of a time out #or to be a thing i am just squicked/triggered by in such a way that dead doving it would not help #but my threshold for the former is W A Y higher; and it is so much easier for me to identify the latter in comparison #anyway yeah i have feelings about the whole thing and it is a real damn shame when this happens. sighs