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j4ystar · 1 year

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attention, please! — park jay

➞ jay x f!reader

➞ highschool!au band!au

➞ synopsis : jay asks your best friend what your type is because he wants your attention

➞ fluff fluff fluff

➞ word count : 10k

➞ tw : mention of throwing up, if i missed anything pls lmk

ᓚᘏᗢ aj — this has been in my drafts for the longest time and i kept on restarting it BUT yea pls enjoy

jay thought that this indifference in attitude towards him was just you playing hard to get. until he scrambled his way to your best friends, desperate to find out what your deal was. why you weren’t batting an eye towards him, nor his friends. despite the invitations to the several parties being thrown, as well as the basketball games that he has invited you out to. the answer to all these tactical ways to start talking to you were thrown out the window. something was always seemingly coming up. though half of the time they weren’t even excuses to not go to said event, you were actually busy.

in a way, jay was angry. a bit upset at you, how you were so casual with him. jay was used to girls and boys alike, messaging him, flirting up a storm with him. jay didn’t have a problem with the attention per say. but when you, his nonchalant class president, didn’t bat an eye towards his sudden strikes of flirtation. an arrow shoots through his heart, though it feels more like a challenge when he feels the need to have your attention on him too.

so when jay finds himself walking to sunoo’s workplace, the convenience store down the street from jay’s apartment building. he stands in front of the store, kicking the gravel on the sidewalk. he swears to god that he is doing this for the sake of teasing you. that he just needed your eyes on him because it would take a toll on his pride if you didn’t.

sunoo stares at jay from inside the store. he makes a face, frowning with his brows furrowed as he wonders what the hell this guy is doing. was the store about to get robbed? sunoo uncrossed his arms and stood up, hands leaning onto the edge of the table.

“HEY! ARE YOU ROBBING THE STORE BECAUSE IF YOU ARE… WE HAVE CAMERAS AND I KNOW WHO YOU ARE JAY.”

jay flinches before shaking his head, not realizing the person he was searching for was already staring at him, and even worse, assuming that he was about to steal from the store. the dark haired boy stumbles through the door, the door jingling and sunoo is about to scream, feeling as though his suspicion is about to come true.

“why would you think i’m trying to steal from you?” jay questions him, beelining straight for the cash register at the end of the store while the aisles lay vertically. sunoo sits back down on his chair. squinting at the upperclassmen.

“because you were just standing there staring through the window. it was creepy.”

“i’m actually here looking for you.”

“oh? and what for?”

“what kinda guys does y/n like?”

there is an awkward silence between the two boys. sunoo looks down momentarily before raising his head to look up at jay again.

“who’s asking?”

“me!”

“... why? oh my god, do you like her? that’s actually insane–” sunoo begins laughing hysterically, thinking about the several ways that you would respond. he was betting on an incredibly disgusted face, or something more reactionary.

“no. i don’t like her man– whatever! just don’t say anything alright?” for a moment, sunoo feels bad for him. for one, you had never really talked about liking boys like jay, so realistically he had no chance in the first place. two, jay seemed sincere. but he knew otherwise than to trust someone like jay. he had heard so much talk about the way he had behaved and he knew you’d be absolutely repulsed with the way he acted. but the genuine look on his face seemed like this was something more than wanting to play around with you.

“i don’t know how to help you. the only person y/n has liked is the drummer from that one band that played at the school festival last year… uhhh what was their name? oh! kim jaehyun from class 3-C. they were together for a little bit last year but it didn’t really last long,” sunoo pauses, waiting to see what jay has to say. sunoo knew jay was the furthest thing from a musician, he was a big bulky athlete, and so he continues as he sees jay’s slightly dejected face “yeah.. from the look on your face i can tell you’re disappointed. so why don’t you drop this? there are plenty of girls out there to pester– HEY!”

jay is already leaving the store. his footsteps are heavy as he begins to fish his phone out of his pocket. he doesn’t know why he feels like he has something to prove. he can most definitely pull, he knows that. but he can most definitely pull you too. he did feel this stirring feeling in his stomach. he was treating this as if it were a game. and why was your heart the one that jay park was so eager to capture?

jay is quick to pull up jake’s contact page first. a couple of rings come through until jake groggily asks jay what’s up. jay rarely ever calls, it’s always a matter of texting the group chat whenever he has something to say. it also ends with him being seenzoned by all his friends.

“did you just wake up?” jay asks in disbelief, asking as if he hasn’t slept like a log after school.

“yeah what the hell do you need?” jay can hear jake shuffling around in his bed, followed by yawning.

“we need to start a band.”

—

the following day, jay begins to pick up his pace as he glances at his wrist watch momentarily. he was going to be late to first block yet again. the teacher already had something against jay and his tardiness, he knew coming in late would result in him kneeling outside the classroom with his hands up in the air. if it wasn’t his poor time management it would be his inability to wear his school uniform properly. it always had to be something, whether he accidentally left his name tag at home, or if he didn't button up his polo shirt correctly either.

he stares down the crosswalk lights, watching as students are already running into the school gates and past the security guards as well as the uniform teacher inspector who is stopping students every now and then. jay looks to his right, noticing a familiar head of hair.

you stand beside jay with a pair of headphones on, though you wear a nervous expression on your face as you’re watching the students get stopped by teachers for being late and for breaking the dress code. jay’s eyes flicker onto you and then onto other people. however he can’t help but think how cute you are as you slightly bounce your head to whatever song you are currently listening to. you weren’t wearing your usual uniform, the proper blazer was replaced with a light gray cotton sweater, you were still wearing the school button up and the skirt. you were also missing your name tag.

the green stop light flicks red, and the big red X indicating that pedestrians may not cross is now depicted a white silhouette of someone walking. the rush of other late students walk past jay, who is still staring at you. you walk with the rest of the teenagers, as if you were being swept away with a current of bodies that are rushing to get to school. jay begins walking too, eyes remaining on your walking figure ahead of his.

whilst the others are bolting it through the gates, trying to dodge the inspector. jay doesn’t lose sight of you among the other students. though he watches as you calmly walk past the inspector, attempting to play off the fact you weren’t wearing your name tag. the inspector recognizes you though, knowing you were an honour student, as well as a class president, the inspector flashes you a disappointed look before telling you to stand to the side with the other kids as he writes down your name on the paper attached to the clipboard. jay passes through inspection in a flash. he quickly unclasps his name tag from his blazer, stuffing it into his pant pocket before joining the line where other classmates of his. he joins you in holding your bag above your head, the punishment that the dress code inspector has instructed you to do. finally, you turn your head to meet jay. though your eyes avert up slightly, to look into his eyes.

jay feels his heartbeat quicken and he nearly drops his bag when he feels his knees buckle slightly from underneath him. he wants to say something, but he knows by the way your headphones can’t contain the volume of your music that you can’t hear him.

“your headphones are really loud. that’s bad for your ears.”

you remain stoic faced, furrowing your brows slightly before letting go of the bag above your head with one hand and coming to remove one headphone muff from off your ear to hear what he had said. you look at him with a slight expectancy. jay feels the heat rising to his cheeks as he awkwardly repeats what he said to you.

“i said your headphones are really loud, listening to music that loud is bad for your hearing.” he tells you. you give him a blank stare. “oh… yeah i know.” though that convinces you to remove your headphones fully and you pause your music.

“then why do you do it?” jay asks you. you look at him as if he had asked such a stupid question when you didn’t think of it in that way. “i don’t know.” you answer bluntly. you don’t really know to how answer that. “i think it just blurs out the rest of the world's noises.” you admit to him. jay looks down at you with a glint in his eye, yet he doesn’t know he is subconsciously starting to smile.

“do you not listen to music at a loud volume?”

“i do. but i’m more of a play it out loud type of person. or you know, blast my amp when i play guitar type of guy.” jay doesn’t know what’s coming out of his mouth, he most certainly plays guitar, though not in the way the band sunoo claims you like does. the rest of the school doesn’t know about his little hobby either, they only really know his athlete side.

jay averts his eyes to his shoes before they flick back to you. you have softened, become more calm and less tense around him. “you play?” jay presses his lips into a straight line. again, averting his eyes anywhere but your trained gaze. he nods and you crack a smile. jay thinks that sunoo wasn’t joking when he told him that you were into musicians. but then again, why would sunoo lie?

“cool. me too. i’m guessing you play electric?”

“i play both, but i enjoy the electric more.” you nod attentively, jay wants to keep talking to you but the inspector had begun his scolding towards the students irresponsibility for being both late and for breaking dress code. you hear jay snicker from beside you, wondering what he was laughing at, you crane your head to look at him with a questionable gaze. he nods to the inspectors toupee peeling off the side of his head and you nearly let out a loud snort before controlling yourself and letting out an stifled giggle instead. you and jay stand by each other giggling quietly to yourselves until the inspector finally finishes his lecture and lets you and your classmates leave to head to class.

jays arms ache, and while he thought you were waiting for him, he looks up to already see you far ahead of him, making your way up the school stairs and into the school's main doors.

—

“jay were you serious when you said you wanted to start a band?” jake questions his friend, jay and his friends spend their lunchtime outside on the field in front of the school. his friends and a couple other students play soccer together. jay sits by the benches on the perimeter of the grassy field with a drink in his hand. jay doesn’t really have any other extracurriculars other than soccer and basketball, but both those seasons were over already and spring was coming in hot.

jake takes jay’s silence as a yes and he slumps down beside him on the bench, he fans himself from all the heat his body garnered after running around like an excited dog for the past 15 minutes playing soccer.

“i mean i wouldn’t be opposed to it. you know i can play bass pretty well.” jake tells him. jay nods, knowing fully well he and his friends were able to pull it off. he had thought about it whilst laying in bed the night sunoo told him at the store.

“and sunghoon knows how to play the drums, heeseung could sing.” jake adds on.

“i mean if the others are down… count me in.”

jay spends the afternoon rounding up the members for his band. sunghoon was a bit skeptical at first, he had been trying to balance his figure skating outside of school, his studies and now the band was beginning to get a bit too much for him. however heeseung was just happy to be there. however, as jay began to expand more on why he wanted to start a band, sunghoon was beginning to warm up to the idea.

jay finds himself daydreaming in class already. if he hadn’t paid attention before, he certainly wasn’t paying any attention now. the following days consist of jay begging the music teacher to let them borrow the music room after school to practice, and jay enlists the help of jungwon, yet another honors roll student, to sign them up for the spring school festival. you were friends with jungwon because you were both on the student council. jay would’ve gone to you, but because he was late on signing the band up he feared that you wouldn’t even let them perform.

“your band is going to be opening for the senior class band. i’m sorry i couldn’t get you a full set. most of the spots had be taken up by other performances.” jungwon apologizes. as he was part of the student council that was responsible for the spring festival events, he was able to talk with the other performers to squeeze in jay’s band since they were late on signing up for the festival. it didn’t matter to jay, it’s not like he would be in the band for any longer than a year, it was something on the side, and plus it was to harness the attention of a certain person.

as if jay hadn’t struggled to talk to you enough, it didn’t help that you pretended he doesn’t even exist. does that little bonding moment in being late together not mean anything to you?! obviously it had meant a lot to jay because the moment of laughter together left feelings of swarming butterflies in his stomach every time he thought of it. usually this ended in himself pinching himself, any possible way to get him back to the real world because there was no way he was falling for you when it should be the other way around. he was the woman woo-er. and his plan to get you to finally fall for him was just so that he could look you in your face and say “i told you you’d fall for me” though realistically the amount of effort going into this truly meant he just wanted you to look at him and fall for him period. and to be fair, if you looked at him he would instantly crumble and shrivel from timidness.

jay’s train of thought gets cut off when three girls approach him at his desk. he pauses his song writing and closes his notebook almost immediately before looking up at the girls.

“we heard you signed up for the spring musical festival. we didn’t know you could sing and play guitar. that’s so cool.” gyuri has a way with sweet talk. her long dark hair cascades over her shoulders and her eyes twinkle as she maintains eye contact with jay. just past gyuri and her friends, the classroom door slides open and you and sunoo walk in. sunoo is talking about something whilst following you to your desk while you listen patiently to your friend.

“hello?”

jay gets up abruptly, flocking to your desk which was on the other side of the room near the back door. he stands to the side of your desk and sunoo stops speaking as he watches jay meander wordlessly. you turn towards your friend, wondering why he had stopped talking but sunoo is instead staring at jay with a blank expression on his face.

“my friends and I signed up for the spring festival.” he tells you, rocking from the balls of his feet to his heels. “could you please move, i can’t reach something in my desk.” you ask, jay apologizes, shuffling backwards as his hand comes to the back of his neck and he itches. sunoo sticks his tongue out teasingly towards jay but his sour expression quickly changes to a sweet smile when you rise up from checking the inside storage compartment of your desk.

“it’s really not here sunoo, i think i have to stop by the stationary store when he go home today to get a new one. gosh that is so annoying, i won’t have that much money from my allowance anymore.” you frown. jay’s face contorts to that of concern. “what are you looking for? i can help you find it.” he suggests. giving you a soft smile.

“it’s just my name tag. i think i lost it.” you tell him dismissively. your hand swatting the air as you’re ready to walk off. “and i heard, word gets around if you hadn’t noticed.” you motion to the three girls that are giving jay the stank eye for ignoring them.

—

“hey, you’re coming to get food with us after school right?” heeseung questions. watching as jay places his indoor shoes in his respective cubby. “yeah, but you guys can go on ahead, I have to go to the store quickly.” he tell him. heeseung nods before the end of the day bell rings throughout the halls and kids begin flocking out their classrooms and flooding the halls, eager to get out of the school.

jay walks to the nearest stationary store, walking up to the front counter with long and quick strides.

“hi there, what can i do for you?” an old man asks him, recognizably he was owner of the store that jay had been going to when he ordered his other name tags throughout the years of his schooling.

“i’m looking to order a new name tag.” jay says, searching for his wallet out of his bag.

“of course. what’s the name?” he asks. jay is busy rummaging through his bag to hear the jingle door opening behind him. you recognize jay by his voice but his back is towards you when you emerge through the door.

“it’s [y/f/n].”

“can you write that on this slip of paper. it’ll be done in just a few minutes.” he kindly tells jay. jay nods, taking the paper and writing your name on it. you cheeks grow flushed as you realize the act of kindness jay was doing for you. you can’t decipher the reason for your heart's rapid beating. part of you was thinking you were just hearing things. jay could’ve said another name similar to yours. yet what are the chances this similar named person also lost their nametag and needed a replacement. afraid he would see you, you leave the store in a hurry. grabbing sunoo by the wrist and dragging him far away from the store and beginning the trip to your neighborhood.

jay hears the jingle of the door this time, and he turns around expecting someone to be there yet he finds no one except for the door closing on its own. a chill runs down his spine before he swishes around to proceed with the payment of the name tag. within a few minutes, the name tag is put into a small mesh drawstring bag and handed to him. to which, he stores in his pocket. he thanks the owner before leaving the store and beginning to make his way to the restaurant where his friends were eating.

—

jay has never felt more embarrassed in his life. he has no reason to be embarrassed. but all the eyes on him, for once in his life, he can’t stand the staring. classmates watch the interaction between you two. jay hadn’t expected a hoard of students to enter the classroom at the exact moment he started to converse with you. the pair of eyes he’s always wanted on him are now staring at him and he can feel the slight wobble in his knees.

“jay?” you call his name and it brings him out of a trance.

“everyone’s staring, what are you doing?” you scan over your classmate, wondering if he was feeling sick. but you had a feeling you knew why he had approached you in the first place. jay places the pink mesh drawstring bag on your desk quickly and he looks as if he is about to implode, his ears have become so red that he simultaneously looks like he had a violent allergic reaction to something as well. the both of you can feel the pressure from the several students watching, and the whispering that was so obviously about you and jay caused you both to turn absolutely red.

“you told me you lost your nametag so i got you another one.” he tells you quickly. you don’t really know what to tell him except the pounding beating of your heart can tell it all. jay’s hand rests momentarily on the edge of your desk, though he fears that if he takes his hand off your desk, a sweat imprint of his hand would be left behind and jay becomes queasy at the thought so he retracts his hand quickly and wipes him on his jacket.

you grab the small bag and pull the nametag out. inspecting it before clipping it onto your blazer. jay doesn’t miss the way you smile softly up at him. he can’t help but smile down at you too. you forget for a second that everyone’s eyes are on you.

“thanks jay. is there any way i could repay you?”

“come watch me and my friends open for the spring festival?”

—

it was one little favorable way of repaying jay. that was the only thing you had to do. just watch him and his friends open the show. it couldn’t be that bad. not bad in a way that they were going to be bad. but bad in a way where you had to stop yourself and watch yourself from catching any feelings.

though jay had been so kind to you lately. you were always a self-guiding hand to yourself though. always quick to stay away from relationships and boys like him more importantly. you knew how others perceived him. while you heard about the way he would treat girls, something about the jay that was being so respectful to you made you assume that he was adapting, either that or he was genuinely a changed person.

it’s not like you didn’t know that his band was performing, you didn’t even know he had a band until sunoo showed you a new advertisement poster for the spring festival that include a new band that you hadn’t heard of. turns out, it was jay’s band.

you were mostly attending the festival because sunoo loved going to them, not to mention your little delusional “crush” on that upperclassmen drummer who played in the school festivals all the time. you weren’t entirely delusional, you knew you had no intention in seeking a relationship with him anyway, it was just a fun way to stay grounded. you had crushes like this all time, little minor infatuation flicks with people you thought were cute.

you were so good at ignoring jay at first. ignoring him was easy, he was barely in class in the beginning of the semester, either that or he was constantly sleeping. you would never know why he started trying to talk to you. it started with asking you about homework that he had missed, to asking you if you were going to parties that you weren’t even invited to, not that you really cared. to asking you if you were going to sports games. admittedly, you knew why girls would fall at his feet, he was attractive.

but you were extremely stubborn, you were guarded, that’s just the way you usually were. people only really came to know you as this high achieving honors student that was conveniently the class president. everyone was tense around you, everyone walked on eggshells around you because obviously as someone who would study constantly you would never have time to go out right?

for the longest time, you learned how to be independent, how to protect yourself from disappointment. even if that meant setting up impenetrable walls. of course the little sunshine sunoo had used a pogo stick to jump over said walls. and now jay park. the little weirdo comparable to the jehovah’s witness people that would come to your door every day. somehow jay had pried his way into your heart. perhaps he had scaled the walls.

after several accounts of rejection to his offers, which you come to soon realize were offers that didn’t make you feel like an outsider to the rest of your classmates which you had ultimately rejected because of your fear. when you had accepted his invitation to watch his band open for the spring festival. it almost didn’t feel like a favour.

—

“you’ve written a song already? i’m surprised you’re so invested in this band thing.” sunghoon scans over the chicken scratch notes scribbled down as jake and jay’s “sheet music”.

“dude… are you in love with someone? these lyrics are about wanting someone’s attention.” heeseung laughs. jay turns to his friends, jungwon sits on the bleachers by the side of the music room with an amused smile. jake lets out a snort. fingers turning his bass guitars tuning keys. “isn’t it obvious. he wants yn’s attention.”

“that’s not what the songs about!” jay defends himself. the familiar feeling of heating resurfacing to his face. “oh yeah? then what’s it about?” heeseung smirks. jake wiggles his eyebrow at his friend as sunghoon lets out a holler. “all this effort just for a girls attention. looks like we have to do this so jay gets a girlfriend.” heeseung lets out a joking sigh.

“i don’t want her to be my girlfriend, i just want her to fall for me.” jay admits aloud. frustrated that his friends just were getting it. his friends halt their laughter as they look at him with doting stares. they all look at one another, sharing the same type of communicating look “… because you fell for her too, right?”

feeling as if he had to sit down after standing up abruptly. jay recalls all his signs of attraction. he doesn’t believe in love at first sight, though he does believe in attraction at first sight. when had jay first laid eyes on you? it must’ve been the grade 10 open house. upon being introduced to their home room classes, jay saw you. no drastic changes since then. you are a little shorter than you were now. sunoo was still your very best friend among those days, he often wondered how you came to know the boy. did it date back to when you guys were still in middle school? elementary even? he wondered how sunoo was the only person allowed in your personal circle after distancing yourself from everyone.

when going out with his girlfriend at the time, jay had spotted you waiting at the bus stop alone at night. you were still in your school uniform but you looked tired, or it could’ve been the poor lighting of the street lamps illuminating sides of the road that casted dark circles upon your eyes. the next day at school, he noticed you weren’t there and had grown concerned that perhaps you hadn’t returned home last night. he overhears sunoo talking to his other friends at the canteen during lunchtime that you had just fallen ill and he is glad nothing had happened to you.

jay and his friends walk into the convenience store that sunoo works at and there you are sitting behind the counter with sunoo. he notices you’re preoccupied with your homework, though he can’t help but notice the way you twirl your pencil in one hand whilst tilting your head to the side, as if looking at it from another angle would help you understand it better. he thinks it’s cute.

if he was already feeling his stomach twist and turn before talking to you in any instances in the past, then seeing you now would definitely have his stomach folding in on itself. he wants to hit himself for not being the smooth talking jerk he was when trying to talk to other girls.

you were no better. sunoo is busy retagging items to be put on the shelves. you are sitting behind the cash register counter with your face hot and red, leaning back on an office chair with your arms crossed over your body.

“when i walked into the stationary store i overheard him ordering the name tag for me.” you tell sunoo, your hands come to your face. hiding the blush bleeding onto your cheeks. “dense much.” your friend says, your brows furrow at the blonde headed boy, neck nearly snapping as you stare daggers into the side of his head.

“how am i dense?”

“he obviously likes you. how far has he gone for other girls? sure, paid meals are one thing but being as thoughtful as ordering a name tag so you don’t have to go through the hassle? he’s making your life easier for you.” it surprised you with how much sunoo knew about this type of stuff, to your best knowledge, sunoo had never been in a relationship. you gawk slightly at his thought process.

“so, do you like him back?”

–

you quickened your pace, hoping to make it on time to the music room to see if jay was still there practicing. you hold two apple juices in your hands before. curses for whoever made the school so incredibly long because why were you running a whole 3km race just to get to the room you wanted.

by the time your hand reaches out for the door frame of the music room, the door slides open and jay walks out, almost body checking you with his guitar bag barely missing your face. you don’t know why your breathing so heavily, it was just a very fast paced walk from across the school. jay wisps around to apologize to the random person he almost hit. though his mouth contorts open, nothing comes out when he sees you standing there a bit frazzled.

“sorry, almost hit you there.” jay apologizes, not stopping himself from smiling as he looks at you. his eyes glaze over you.

“i was looking for you.” you completely ignore what he says, not really caring if he had smacked you with his guitar or not. your words has his mind racing and his stomach doing teeny flips.

“are you alright?” now it’s your turn to simply melt at his words. you want to scold yourself and tell yourself to get it together. your knees turn wobbly and for a moment you lose your balance but you catch yourself, jay’s arm juts forward at your flinching and this small gesture has you looking between his arm and his face. god, his handsome face. it was so punchable and some days you wanted to do just that.

“i’m fine, i’m just here to say thank you, again.” when jay looks at you, he doesn’t see the uptight class president that presents herself to everybody. he’s grateful for your thankfulness, but he doesn’t want a thank you. he wants you. but for now, he’ll just have to keep it in, at least until the festival. he retracts his hand but before he does you shove the apple juice drink into his hand. the mere feeling of your fingers brushing against his even for just the split second leaves tingles that don’t subside until he watches you turn your back on him and begin speed walking away.

“you’re falling for me, aren’t you?” your steps falter, wondering if he had really just said that. jay doesn’t believe it himself. you don’t really know how to respond but jay begins walking to come up beside you with a cheeky smile.

“you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” your eyes fail to meet his, you’re scared you might actually fall, quite literally, this time.

“i wouldn’t be opposed to it, no.” jay cracks open the apple juice drink and begins drinking from it.

“how’d you know i liked this drink?”

“i didn’t know, it’s just my favourite drink.” wrong, sunoo told you what drink jay comes in to buy the most. you weren’t necessarily lying when you told him it was your favourite drink either.

“oh my gosh, we’re meant to be.” jays cheeks hurt from smiling, he knows he’s going to go home and lay in his bed all night thinking about this. “yeah right. just because we like the same drink?”

“meant to be.” he says in a sing-song way. this makes you laugh. jay likes it when you laugh. he likes it when he makes you laugh. not really a sight he sees often, but he’s glad he’s one of the people that can evoke such a happy emotion from you.

when you two reach the front gates of the school, you expect to part ways with jay, considering he would always walk the opposite way from you. but when he stands there wondering why you were just staring at him, he tilts his head slightly.

“you think i’m letting you walk home alone?”

“go home jay.” you smile softly. jay shakes his head, he chews on his bottom lip and your eyes don’t leave them. “you can walk me to that lamppost over there.” you point towards an old lamppost two blocks away and jay takes that over nothing. the walk there is painstakingly slow. though within those two blocks you two talk, and laugh, make banter. jay almost doesn’t want to make it to the lamppost because he knows he’ll have to leave you. you’re thinking the same thing. you weren’t that paranoid about walking alone in the night but having jay there, someone to talk to, helped you feel at ease. jay liked being with you, he liked when he was around you. and not in the way where his hands would feel sweaty.

“how about that lamppost instead?”

and this continued until you got home. you stood a fair distance away from your house. the chilling night air was nipping at jay’s face now, but that was alright.

“ok it 's really time for you to go home now.” you tell him. his smile drops and he frowns exaggeratingly.

“thank you, again.” you finish. you look so good to him. whether it be in any type of lighting it doesn’t matter. jay catches himself as he feels himself leaning forward, though he plays it off as if he was just rocking back and forth on his feet. you don’t seem to notice though.

“you probably owe me another apple drink tomorrow.” he tells you. you can’t tell if he’s joking or not but you’re ready to come to school prepared with a bulk case of the drink if he really wants it.

“get home safe, alright?”

jay watches you exit into your house and then he begins his traverse back home. thinking about everything that had just happened. now that he had begun to realize his feelings for you, the feelings were beginning to hit him like a ton of bricks. he couldn’t stop his heart from racing. his mind was constantly flooded with memories of you tonight.

–

a suspectedly good night was spoiled with a mere text from someone you had least expected.

3 notifications from kimjaehyun

kimjaehyun

hey yn

we havent talked in a while…

are you dating park jay?

the member of the band you had a tiny little crush on had texted you. not that you really had a crush on him anymore. something happened between the two of you last year after the spring festival. just a small situationship that didn’t work out. for upperclassmen, kim jaehyun was immature. everyone said that teenage boys were stupid but you hadn’t realiize, this stupid.

you scrambled to turn off your read receipts to see if jaehyun had really said what he said. not even a hello? or a hi?

y/f/n

no… why do you ask?

you bite at your nails awaiting his response. shutting off your phone you feel as if you were still a younger version of yourself throwing your phone across the room in fear of what his response was. after a few minutes you hear the ping of your phone. followed by another few more pings. wondering if he was just texting you a bunch, you climbed off your bed and sat on the rug opening your phone to see.

2 new notifications from kimjaehyun

parkjay sent you a friend request

you click on jaehyun’s texts first. why was he wondering if you were dating jay?

kimjaehyun

oh thats a relief

can we talk after school tomorrow?

–

you wait inside jaehyuns empty classroom alone. wondering where he is. two bottles of the apple juice drink jay likes reside in the opened bag beside your desk. you wonder what jaehyun has to say. especially after the way you two drifted apart and ended things last year.

jaehyun steps into the classroom, wandering eyes searching for you. kim jaehyun has not changed since you last saw him, you rarely see him around considering he is in his last year now and has classes on the uppermost third floor where all the seniors are. his light brown hair lays untouched and shaggy, he was still sporting the mullet he has had since his first year. and he still smiled the same. striking you in your heart.

“what did you need to talk to me about?” you ask, wanting to get to point. you had told jay that you were doing something. you told him you were dropping by the music room to drop something off.

“as you know, my band and i are performing during the spring festival. our set was cut short because of the addition of jays band. i was wondering if you could give us back our set time by.. i don’t know, maybe getting rid of their performance altogether?” he flashes you a grin. how you used to perceive him with such adoration and respect but that had just been thrown out the window.

“your band can’t hog the entire night, jaehyun.” you tell him, irritatedly wanting to get out and leave the classroom already. “it wouldn’t be fair to them either.” jaehyun’s grin falls at your words. his arms cross together as he places them on your desk and gives you a pout. your brow twitches. still the same old, immature, jaehyun.

“don’t give me that face, they’re only doing one song and opening for you. you’re being selfish. if that’s all then we’re done here.” you tell him, grabbing your bag off the floor and getting up from the desk. jaehyun stands up in unison to you.

“wait no don’t go, that’s not all,” jaehyun blurts out. you had already reached the door and was about to step out the classroom. you’re tempted to hear whatever he has to say out.

“i’ve been thinking about you lately.” your back is still facing him. you shake your head and wonder if his words are laced with sincerity. you haven’t thought about jaehyun in a while. he was the one exception to your “no people allowed through” rule. and upon breaking that, he caused an aftermath of chaos and emotions for you. you try to ignore his statement as you leave the classroom, shutting the door in the process and making your way out the school instead. you forget all about the plans of heading to see jay. jaehyun’s request had turned your mood a whole 180.

when you arrive home, you open your phone to see messages from both jay and jaehyun. jaehyun has been thinking about you lately. what the hell does that even mean? why does his relapse in feelings come around the same time the two of you were talking last year. safe to say, sunoo receives a call that night. and he appears at your front door with snacks and face masks.

parkjay

wya?

wheres my apple drink :((

u didn’t stop by

r u ok?

kimjaehyun

i hope i didnt scare u bc of the sudden confession

but i was honest w what i said

you don’t respond to jaehyun after that. only leaving him on delivered. you respond to jay though. mustering up some lame excuse as to why you couldn’t stop by. something about your parents asking you to come home. jay had bought the excuse, following up with a couple of texts asking if it was anything serious. sunoo sleeps over that night as well. the two of you falling asleep in the middle of a drama series, and waking up the following saturday morning forgetting which episode you left off on.

–

jay grows more irritated as the week leading up to the spring festival arrives. advertisement for the spring festival was put up all over the school. announcements were made of the several bands and dance groups performing. a lot of student made stalls were being set up in the front lawn already. jay was being asked by several students everyday about his band. despite only playing one song, groups of girls and boys have already made it known to him that they were attending just for his band and that they were excited.

you pry jay to let you hear the song that they are going to be performing, you even ask jungwon to give you a little sneak peak of it as well. upon hearing that it was an original song written by jay, your fascination grows.

“c’mon let me hear it.” you and jay are walking along the front quad during lunch. jay started inviting you to watch him and his friends play soccer. even inviting sunoo to join them in their games to which he accepted out of competitiveness.

“no no no no. you’re gonna have to wait just like everyone else.” you hand him one of the apple drinks. the drinks have become a staple in your everyday routine except you both alternate giving each other the drinks instead. half of the time it’s sunoo letting you rob the store and take drinks for free because he knows you’re trying to save money.

“plus, i’m kinda nervous to show you.” he says, looking down and staring at the pavement. you scoff. “if you’re nervous in front of me what makes you think that you can perform in front of all these students?” jay wasn’t scared of performing in front of crowds, he has done it before but in a different sense, in basketball he has performed in large gyms in front of a lot of people. he wasn’t nervous in front of people, he was nervous in front of you. and for good reason. you played the guitar, he wanted to impress you.

“hey yn!”

you and jay turn your heads in unison. jaehyun stands a few feet away with a hand in his blazer pocket and one waving at you. jay’s eyes fixed on the unknown guys name tag. he thinks back to the time sunoo told him this was the guy you had eyes on during last years spring festival. jay’s eyes fall back onto you, you grin fell into that of an unknown expression. jaehyun approaches you two and you plaster a fake smile in greeting him.

“jaehyun, hi.” followed with a curt nod, jaehyun doesn’t really look his age. he looks older. he’s about the same height as jay. but he notices the fleeting glint in jaehyun’s eye as he looks at you. he notices the smirk playing on his lips. but he takes the most notice in your disengagement in the conversation with him. almost straying away from jaehyun as he approaches. you move towards jay, but he’s all too familiar with that look you’re now giving him. jaehyun’s playful guise drops as his eyes follow yours, landing on jay.

“you must be jay.”

jaehyun was the so-called ex sunoo mentioned to him the first time he asked about you. jay doesn’t quite know what to say to jaehyun. but from the way he felt as though jaehyun was coming onto you again. jay felt uneasy. he wanted to say something to get you out of the situation, taking into account the disturbed look you had on your face.

“yeah, jaehyun right?” jaehyun nods. “you’re opening for us the night of the festival right? man, i did not expect you guys to start a band at all. i only really thought you played sports.” he says, a hand coming to his hair, combing it back to get it out of his face yet his bangs still topple over his forehead. jay doesn’t really know how to respond to that.

“i guess i just have other talents to show.” he shrugs. jay wonders what you found attractive with this guy. were you into his face? did you like his hair? should jay start growing out his hair for a mullet too? he wouldn’t be opposed to a short mullet. or perhaps it was just because he could play the drums. jay could play the drums too. albeit, not better than sunghoon but he can definitely learn if that’s what you wanted.

“i’m looking forward to the festival jay, i’ll see you two around.”

jaehyun begins walking away and you let out a deep breath. “that was weird.” jay comments. turning to you and checking if you were alright. “me and jaehyun used to date.” you tell him quietly. jay hears you perfectly fine though. he was well aware you had some kind of crush on jaehyun, but dating was something he never really thought of because you were just so closed off. at the thought of someone else being able to swipe you off your feet, jay grew kind of cold and a chill ran through his body. he wonders why you decide to tell him right now.

“i’m sorry i just had to tell you because he talked to me for the first time in a year last friday. and he was being a jerk, and that ruined my mood because i was so excited to go and see you but then no, he had to ruin everything and then i went home and cried into my pillow.” you tuck your hair behind your ear, looking down at your shoes. you don’t know why you’re being so emotional, especially out in the open. jaehyun kind of scares you. and watching jay and jaehyun first meet was like two worlds colliding for you. you feared that jaehyun was going to do something that would hurt jay’s feelings to make it look bad on you despite you not doing anything in that sort of way.

jay’s hands came to either side of your arms and held you straight. you looked up and he almost felt his heart tear slightly when he saw the tears springing from your eyes. “why are you sorry? you didn’t do anything wrong.” he consoles you. his hands are arm against your blazer. you’re not sure what complex you to hug jay first, he doesn’t expect it either. here you are, in the middle of the school quad hugging jay because you didn’t want to show your startled tears to anyone. you also didn’t want jay to know that him telling you that you shouldn’t be sorry for something that wasn’t your fault, affected you this much.

jay’s hands travel to your back while you hug him. unbeknownst to him, it had gone unnoticed that his heart was hammering against his chest. and you, being the neighbor to his heart right now could hear it thumping. “it’s unfortunate he made you upset. i can beat him up for you.” you laughed at his suggestion as you pulled away from him. you felt all warm inside. you played it off as your endorphins fucking up your body but lets be honest, you really knew why you were warm.

“yeah okay sure. you can try.” even in tears with puffy under eyes you still look absolutely stunning to jay.

“what?! i totally could. have you seen me?”

–

the night of the festival, students were sent home early to get ready while others stayed at school to keep working on their stalls. other students volunteered to run games and other fun stands. the stage was set up for the performers and the groups were just going through dress rehearsals and practices. there were many firsts for jay, but this was the first time he would be performing a literal call for attention to a girl that he really likes, that he’s not 100% sure likes him in front of a lot of students so yeah, a lot of firsts for jay!

“you look like you’re about to throw up.” jake tells jay who stares at himself menacingly in the bathroom mirror. sunghoon and heeseung take a few hefty steps away from jay who looks pale. “what are the chances that yn doesn’t even get the point of the song? i think that would be hilarious.” sunghoon asks. fixing his hair in the mirror.

“don’t say that.” jungwon comes walking out of the bathroom stall in some casual clothes. he flattens his shirt out with his palms and slides in between jake and jay in need of the sink. “she’ll understand. i’m pretty sure. as if the lyrics weren’t obvious enough.”

“‘standing at the crosswalk, i can’t move an inch’ i think it’s cute.” jungwon says while reciting the lyrics jay was so shy about showing his friends. jungwon moves away from the sink, grabbing a paper towel to dry his hands. “you think everything is cute, jungwon.” sunghoon says rolling his eyes jokingly. “i don’t think you’re cute.” jungwon says in a matter-of-factly tone. sunghoon mimics him with his tongue sticking out and jungwon does the same in return. the other three boys roll their eyes in response to their childishness.

“are you going to dedicate the song to her like all those cheesy romance movies?” questions heeseung.

“no… should i be?” jay questions, at first he was opposed to it. but if that’s what his friends think he should be doing then maybe he should do it? jake and heeseung shake their heads ‘no’ with distasteful expressions on their faces. “i think you should just leave it up to her interpretation. like how literature teachers make you do it.” jake inputs. jay leans against the wall of the washroom now. staring at himself and then his friends. sunghoon and jungwon continue to joke around with each other.

“there’s a possibility she would just leave and then boom, i’m heartbroken. or she would come find me backstage and happily ever after.”

“why are you thinking so negatively? this isn’t like you man. you always work hard to get what you want. you threw away all those nasty habits of playing around with girls. yn literally changed you and now you’re scared?” jungwon asks, pausing his playful fighting with sunghoon to lecture jay. jungwon was right, jay’s friends nodded in agreement. jay was never one to back down from a challenge, and he rarely ever let things get to his head, not in the way this dilemma did.

“i think i’m just scared of fucking things up with her. i really like her.”

“that’s what we thought. if you really like her you wouldn’t give up on her. no chickening out.”

by the time you and sunoo arrived, a lot of students were in the quad. some playing the carnival games that were set up. some were eating the food that students were responsible for serving. music was playing from the stage, but the concerts didn’t start until 8pm, it was only 7:30.

sunoo proceeded to drag you around, though you were just searching around for any sight of a dark haired guitarist. sunoo tried to shake the nerves off you too, knowing full well you were just here because of said guitarist. it ended up working because for the next 30 minutes, you were preoccupied with the large amounts of food sunoo ordered, as well as the games. even after playing for all that time, you and sunoo were not very lucky with anything that include throwing, catching or shooting. leaving you empty handed from the plethora of plushies that the game vendors were offering.

“don’t be upset, sunoo, i’ll ask jay to win me a couple and you can have some.” you tell your friend, he laughs before checking the time on his phone. “jay is gonna be going up soon, we should go to get a good spot for the show.” sunoo tells you. you nod, letting him lead the way. sunoo finds a spot not too crowded with people and he claims the area as yours. while waiting you take your phone out to see if anyone has texted you.

2 new notifications from parkjay

parkjay

hey are you already at school?

when u see this can u come meet me at the right backstage stairs a few mins before the show starts?

your heart flutters and you tell sunoo you’re going to use the washroom really quickly. sunoo tells you to hurry before the crowd gets any bigger because he doesn’t want you getting lost. you tell him you’ll be quick and you fleetingly speed walk your way to the right hand stage stairs where jay said to meet.

you round the front of the stage and find jay sitting on the stairs while looking straight ahead. he looks nervous and he fidgets with his fingers before ultimately deciding to stand up but you say something before he gets a chance to leave.

“did i keep you waiting?” you ask, jay whips his head around and his features soften when he see’s you. he awe’s at your outfit, finding your fashion sense impeccable. something else that he likes about you. jay shakes his head before he steps down a few more flights of stairs and smiles down at you. you meet him at the bottom while he still stands a few steps higher, making him look over you.

“i didn’t see your text until earlier. me and sunoo were preoccupied with the carnival games and we lost track of time. we didn’t even win anything but we lost a bunch of money.” you tell him laughing. your story makes jay chuckle. “talking to you makes my nerves go away.” he tells you honestly. you’re hoping the sun is setting quick enough to hide the red tinge creeping from your neck to your ears.

“don’t be nervous, i know you’re gonna do great.” you tell him. you reach for his hand and he lets you take it with no hesitation. you tug jay down a step lightly, he’s only a bit taller than you now. you feel yourself shaking, hoping it’s not obvious with the way your hand tremors slightly. jay seems to understand as he bends down, your lightly glossed lips meet his cheek, leaving a red-ish tint to his cheek. jay stands up straight after you retract from him and you give him a small shy smile.

“good luck!”

–

the concert begins shortly after you return to your spot where sunoo is busy taking pictures with the beautiful sunset lighting in the background. the concert announcer blaring through the speakers bring an influx of students to the grassy field where the concert is taking place.

you watch as the host of the concert takes a place in the middle of the stage and begins introducing jay’s band. you hear students screaming and cheering left and right before the lights dim down and jay walks out with his members. it really was as if you were at a concert because jay and his friends had fans around the school. girls and boys liked them a lot, so when they appeared it had the audience screaming.

“this is an original song.. dedicated to someone really special to me. so, enjoy everyone.”

the lights change into that of a red and orange colour, though there is a spotlight placed onto each of the members and then the song begins.

you had to admit that jay really was a talented person. from sports to playing guitar, to even his voice. you were a fan of music. and jay looked great on the stage. heeseung and jay’s voice had a lot of screams from the audience and it frightened you a little bit. but sunoo was beginning to piece together the lyrics of the song instead of jumping around with joy like the other students that were watching. he looked towards you, you seemed to be enjoying yourself as well. you were happy and smiling.

you begin to really listen to the lyrics of the song. wanting attention, panic, standing at the crosswalk. you didn’t want to believe that this song was about you. but at this rate, who else was it about. you were the only person the entirety of the school has seen with jay other than his friends for the past two months and it was unavoidable. you would’ve felt terrible if the song was for someone else and you had kissed jay on the cheek prior to the performance. there was no denying it. you had your attention on jay.

sunoo realizes that it had clicked in your head. you can barely hear your thoughts with the volume of the concert and the singing voices of the other boys. you never take your eyes off jay though. he wasn’t looking at you at the time but his eyes scanned over the crowd frantically whilst he strummed his guitar. he was looking for you. when he finally found you, you were already looking at him. he couldn’t decipher the look on your face but you were smiling at him. your smile was contagious, jay couldn’t help but smile as he sang.

as the song came to a close, you left earlier than most of the crowd. sunoo followed you out of the mosh pit of students. jay is the first person off the stage when the song ends. his eyes never left yours until the end and when he sees you bolting towards the right stairwell to the stage he knows he has to meet you there.

when you reach the stairs, jay is already on the last steps and his sweaty palms are back, his heart is ramming against his chest yet again and the butterflies in his stomach are basically a rampaging zoo at this point. you almost pounce on jay when you see him. wanting to hit him, yet kiss in at the meaningful gesture. you bury your face into his chest and he rocks you side to side as he envelops you in a hug.

“you wrote that for me?” you ask, wanting reassurance, that this was real, that his feelings were real, that you were the one. “if it was about someone else i wouldn't be hugging you right now.” jay tells you. you lift your head to look up at him and his hands come to your cheeks. jay pulls you in and pushes his lips to yours. he parts from your lips, foreheads still touching before you two erupt into laughter.

“i really, really, really like you yn.”

“i really, really, really like you too jay.”

DONE WAHAHHAOOOO

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