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[pajnloki]

4 // october recap

new month, new me. Lol. Just kidding :’(

but hello it’s me again!! October was a rough month and one hella exhausting one despite having 2 weeks of fall break. This was my last fall break (im emo) and I didn’t really do anything special  honestly. Was mostly just sleeping and procrastinating, the usual stuff. But I didn’t go through some frustrating moments where I kind of isolated myself from the outside and I was pretty much dead. It wasn’t as bad as it may sound. I was just kind of tired of everything and especially of me and my sensitive ass. And Although I did cancel some plans with friends and pretty much ignored everyone on social media I was still doing pretty okay. It wasn’t like I had a total mental breakdown… it was more like I needed some time offline and those (idk) ¾ days were extremely healing and refreshing. I felt so much better after that and recovered quite fast. – Pretty much my fall break in nutshell.

When school started again It was bad and I was doing worse, rofl. Exams started right after school started and I had no time to even breathe, literally. I had both my main courses in one week and one of it was an oral exam, which basically consists of mental stress and that didn’t really help me at all. However, I managed somehow… like I always do and you don’t even know how happy I am that those damn exams are finally over. I didn’t get all them back yet besides math but I think I did pretty well but I don’t want to sound too confident because I don’t want to raise my expectations too high, yk. Although exams are over, I still have tons of assignments do to because of that damn IB. Trust me guys, I’m not even doing the full IB diploma but I’m already crying so good luck to everyone else, urgh. Because of the stress I had the whole month I didn’t even realize that it was already spooky season and before I could blink it was Halloween already. Halloween was pretty chill and I was just hanging out with my close friends. It was really a beautiful actually although we didn’t do anything too special but just spending time with these people make me (and I can’t stress it enough) feel so happy and loved. Plus I also had a costume lol I went as Miguel from Coco!! <3 #unpocoloco ;)) My October started really roughly and it was simply bad and not enjoyable at all but I thought that it ended quite good and I thought “after rain, sun follows” but just as quick as sun followed, the rain came back and now I’m feeling kind of hopeless. I know I am young like I’m literally a teenager and I know all those problems I have are so ridiculous and every time I think about my past “problems” I just facepalm myself ;; but like I can’t change the fact that these trivial things still bother me a lot and I feel like I’m going to be emo for the rest of the week if I’m not spilling it now ( or in the next text ;)

Bye

#pajnapple4