#painty yapping
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you stupid motherfucker.
(lmk if the video isnt loading bcuz its not loading on my end! -mod)
#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity invitational#ii paintbrush#paintbrush ii#backgroundy#torch/inner flame#painty yapping#rediscovering fire chronicles#flooding memories chronicles
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guilty pleasure
Pairing: Ryan Howard/fem reader
Warnings: smut, unprotected sex, reader and ryan dont really like each other lmao, strong language, mentions of pee but this isnt a piss kink fic i promise
Word count: 2344
a/n: this happened in a dream and i dont know how to deal w it so i wrote it out and then i found your blog so im sending it to you anonymously ksdhfkdsjfgh ive never read or written the office fanfiction before i dont know why my brain did this
-
Kelly was invited to a frat party by a friend and naturally begged Ryan to come with. He didn’t seem keen on it, bored as usual with any plans Kelly tried to make to draw him back into a committed relationship, until you walked in on Kelly tugging at Ryan’s arm in the kitchen and she shifted her attention to inquire you. Ryan eyed you silently throughout the exchange. You told her that sure, you’d be there, and smiled. Ryan turned and watched as you left and you heard him suddenly exclaim “Ow!” as Kelly punched him.
“Why don’t you leave her alone, you know she doesn’t like you.” Kelly grumbled.
“Yeah, whatever, Kelly, I’ll come to your stupid party.” He replied, clearly not hearing what she’d actually said.
You knew Ryan had a thing for you. He stares without restraint and always makes suggestive comments whenever he catches you when Kelly isn’t trailing his heels. The first time he tried flirting with you was in the presence of Pam, whom you’d immediately hit it off with. You looked at her, eyebrows raised, when he left, and she rolled her eyes.
“Don’t worry about him, he does this to every new girl in the office that hasn’t broken thirty yet.” She said, giving you a warm smile.
Sure, he was kind of cute, but maybe if he wasn’t so god damn pretentious you’d at least try and properly befriend him. But tormenting him with his own lust while keeping him at an arm’s length away was more fun. You didn’t like the way he treated Kelly and you wished she’d wisen up and drop him, but she seemed too far gone in her idolization to be reasoned with. So you didn’t exactly feel bad flirting back and then leaving him high and dry whenever he got particularly irritating. Someone had to have some control over his sexual impulses.
But you’d never been to a non-office party with him before and couldn’t wait to see what he’d do to try and get your attention.
You didn’t expect much in the way of formality from a frat party, so you showed up simply in your favorite jeans and the first clean casual shirt you spotted. You were never a makeup person and didn’t intend on starting now.
By the time you got there, you really had to pee. You cursed yourself for drinking so much highly caffeinated name-brand soda throughout the day and not bothering to use the bathroom before leaving the house.
You weren’t surprised to walk in and immediately find Ryan chatting up some random girls about how he was the youngest VP in Dunder Mifflin history and now how he’s some pseudo deep artist because “it didn’t really suit me.” He pretended he didn’t notice you come in and cleared his throat, suddenly overtaken by “um, uh.” He quickly recovered and continued his yapping, scooting closer to one of the girls to brush her hair out of her face and over her ear.
Unimpressed, you sauntered over and placed your hand on his shoulder. “The real reason he isn’t VP anymore is because he got fired and arrested for committing fraud.” You said to the girls with a smile, kissed his cheek, and walked away to find the bathroom.
Ryan stared at you, mouth agape. You heard the girls laughing despite the loud music and one of them said, “Wait, you got arrested?” incredulously.
You were maybe ten steps away when Ryan finally snapped back to reality and shouted, “Hey!”
You ignored him, shouldering past some sweaty, already drunk frat boys to get further into the house, toward where you assumed a bathroom might be.
He followed and hollered, “Hey, (Y/N), what the fuck!”
You finally stopped and turned on your heel as you heard your name. He seemed surprised and paused, causing you to cross your arms and look at him expectantly.
“Why’d you do that? I was totally gonna lay one of those girls tonight!” He said in that classic Ryan Howard exasperated whine.
Raising your brows, you scoffed and sounded a sarcastic, “Uh-huh.” before beginning to turn away again.
“Hey,” he started and you sighed and turned back, “- I know you’re too stuck up and too deep into the feminist movement to sleep with me, but at least you could let me get on with other girls!”
You laughed. “Ryan, your shit doesn’t work on me. I know you only came because I did and you were only talking to those girls to make me jealous.”
“Fine, whatever, I give up.” He responded by throwing up his hands.
“Really? That easy? After all this time?”
“Yeah, if you’re playing hard to get, you’re playing too hard to get because I’m tired of this.” He seemed genuine for the first time in his entire life and you felt a small pang of disappointment in your chest. You enjoyed messing with him, and who knows, maybe one day you’d finally give him what he wanted.
“Alright, hun, good luck with that.” Your tone was sarcastic as you patted the side of his arm. He glared at you and you turned away to continue on your quest for a bathroom. Any bathroom.
The house was much larger than it looked. Or at least it seemed that way with so many people swarming in it, moving freely from room to room, the only rooms with closed doors barely contained the moans of frisky college kids. You hadn’t dared open any of them, not wishing to see something you might regret. You were about to give up and leave when you found Kelly.
“Hey Kelly, where’s the bathroom?” You grabbed her arm to get her attention.
“Whaaaaaa? I can’t hear you man!” She slurred. She was drunk. “The music’s sooooo loud!” She doubled over giggling.
“The bathroom. Where is it?” You said louder.
“Oh it’s ummm…. It’s uhhh…. This is a frat house, man! Just go whenever you want!” Kelly danced as she gave you her unhelpful advice.
You sighed heavily, your bladder not enjoying the movement from being jostled about by wasted party-goers. You continued your way through the house when you spotted Ryan again. He was chatting up the girl whose hair he’d been playing with earlier. Something inside you snapped, you actually became jealous despite yourself, and you marched over.
Grabbing Ryan hard by the arm, you pulled him away roughly as he hollered at you what your problem was.
“Take me to the bathroom.” You demanded.
When he saw the look in your eye, realization dawned on his face and he said, “Look, (Y/N), if this is another one of your games -”
Despite your better judgement, you grabbed his face and kissed him ferociously. “Take me to the bathroom.” You commanded once again.
This time he simply nodded and lead you by the hand through the crowded building.
Upon finding an empty restroom, you whispered to yourself, “Thank God,” and began to enter when you realized Ryan was following closely behind you. You quickly turned and pushed him out, saying, “Wait, I actually have to pee.” and shut the door in his face.
Having finally drained your bladder and washed your hands, you swung open the door to find Ryan still standing directly outside it. You grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him into the room, slamming the door shut and locking it and placing another hard kiss on his lips. He kissed back, almost angrily; your teeth gnashing one another’s. You didn’t know what had gotten into you, you didn’t know why you wanted this so suddenly, but you wanted it now and you wanted it bad. And you could tell he did too.
Pulling away for air, Ryan gasped, “So we’re really doing this, huh?”
“Shut up.” You snapped, untucking his shirt because of course it was tucked in, and grabbing him by the back of the head to pull him in once again. He made you so fucking angry, he was so annoying and manipulative - maybe you just needed to get this frustration out of your system by taking it out with none other than Ryan’s own body. You tugged at his hair, nails digging lightly into his scalp, as his hands ran up your shirt, setting your skin on fire.
His mouth moved to your jaw and he backed you up towards the counter. “Feisty, huh?” He mumbled against your skin, his breath making you shiver.
“God, you are so annoying.” You gasped as he moved to kiss down your neck, biting hard at your flesh.
“I wouldn’t have to be so annoying if you weren’t such a bitch.” He said into your ear.
You growled, grabbing his face to kiss him again, this time biting down on his bottom lip and sucking on it, eliciting a groan from deep in his throat and he smacked and squeezed your ass. You felt wild, feral - you hated it when men called you a bitch. But when Ryan did it, it made you wanna fuck him harder.
He grabbed your thighs and pulled away just enough to say, “Jump,” across your lips. You obliged and he helped you unto the counter; whatever was on it before you clattering to the floor and into the adjacent sink. He tugged your shirt over your head and you began to unbutton his. His mouth and teeth back on your neck and jaw, his hands roughly grabbing at the bare skin of your torso, you fumbled feverishly with his stupid button-up. You caved and tore open the shirt, the buttons popping surprisingly easily from their stitches.
“Hey -” Ryan began to protest, but you quickly cut him off.
“Don’t call me a bitch.”
He shrugged off the shirt and you took the chance to get rid of your bra. Ryan hissed at the sight of your breasts and didn’t hesitate to grab them. Heat pooled in your belly and you ran your nails down his chest, his abs, his hips…. And you began to pull apart his belt. His fingers dug into the soft flesh of your breasts as you impatiently tugged at his jeans.
“Jesus, just fuck me already, Ryan!” You whined, and he finally got the hint to push down his jeans and pull off yours as you braced against the counter to lift your butt. He pulled down your painties along with your jeans and you shimmied your feet out of them, Ryan wasting no time to take off his boxers.
He took his hardened length into his hand and began pumping it in his fist, grabbing your chin to kiss you roughly. You spread your legs, scooting toward the edge of the counter to encourage him to finally start fucking you. He rubbed the head of his dick up and down your slit, spreading your wetness.
“You ready for this?” Ryan questioned.
“Fuck me.” You answered simply.
Ryan didn’t need anymore convincing. He grabbed your hips and thrust hard inside you and you let out a loud whimper. He didn’t bother allowing you to adjust to his size, instead setting a brutal pace that turned you on even more. You hooked your arms under his shoulders and dug your nails into his skin, pulling down his back and back up again and buried your face into his shoulder. He moaned, grabbing your throat and pushing you back, forcing you to watch as he fucked you senseless. He watched as your breasts bounced with his movement and used his other hand to rub your clit.
You were a fucking mess, moaning and whining as he pulled you back forward and trapped your body against his so he could rut into you harder, his fingers hard on your clit.
“Oh fuck!” You cried, nails digging back into his shoulders. The fact that you knew you shouldn’t be doing this, the way he was grabbing you and biting you and kissing you, the rough and painful way he handled you, the fact that you were in a stranger’s house, only turned you on even more. You ground your hips desperately against his and wrapped your legs around his waist and he moaned, his fingers bruising your sides.
Ryan grabbed your face with one hand, forcing you to look at him, and he groaned, “You gonna cum for me, baby?”
You whimpered. “I’m not your baby.” You responded indignantly.
He grabbed your thigh with his other hand, pulled it further up his torso and hooked it over his elbow, spreading you wider and pounding you harder. You cried out, clenching around him, that heat in your belly feeling insatiable.
His fingers came back down on your clit and you held onto his shoulders for dear life.
“God, you feel so fucking good.” He moaned.
The two of you were slick with sweat, the room filled with animalistic noises and the sound of your skin smacking together. The coil in your belly felt just about ready to snap, all you were capable of was repeating varients of, “Oh God, oh fuck, oh shit,” and releasing the most wanton moans and whines. You could feel Ryan was close too, his breathing ragged and his thrusts becoming more erratic.
It wasn’t until Ryan buried his hand into your hair and pulled, hard, that your orgasm shook your body and you screamed. Warmth spread all throughout your body as you came, and you clutched and clawed at Ryan for support. You heard him grumble something like, “So fucking hot,” as he rode out your high.
Soon enough, he buried himself deep inside you and came, biting into neck and sucking hard, sure to leave a nice bruise. He pulled back and grabbed your face to kiss you, softer this time.
The two of you stayed pressed against each other for a few moments, trying to catch your breath, before Ryan pulled out of you and you released your iron-clad grip on him.
“Did we just hatefuck?” Ryan asked.
“Yeah. Yeah, I think so.” You breathed.
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“I love you means blah blah blah yip yap yap now get back to work” -painty
wow test bulb real, I'm not really familiar with waitress but i thought this song fit them! also jell pens :3!
#testbulb#ii testbulb#ii testtube#ii lightbulb#inanimate insanity#lb#tt#ii lb#ii tt#i was able to scan this with my dads scanner! u like yes?#anyway I'm super hyped for this ep wow#1/11/18#myartstuffs#traditional art#im kinda proud of this actually#ii#hope this stuff is legible lol#if not its just the lyrics to the song#hope its ok i linked to an animatic its just so good
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Look, Paintbrush, I'm going to need you to tell Backgroundy something. Tell him an anon told you to ask "Hey Water boy, how'd you die?" and you have no idea what it means. You can probably guess some things from that but act like you can't. The situation is delicate and you have a larger stake in this than you know. And if we don't address this someone could get hurt or do something that they regret. Again.
Hey, Backgroundy?
Hm?
An anon told me to ask you how you di-
-iiiiiii...??
..Paintbrush?
...sorry.. I just feel kinda..
....
Apologies, Paintbrush, but this is not your issue to handle.
...
Ohh, you recognize me, don't you? ...Shit.
#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity invitational#ii paintbrush#paintbrush ii#backgroundy#torch/inner flame#painty yapping#rediscovering fire chronicles#flooding memories chronicles
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y'know recently I finished reading a fanfic about paintbrush getting cut in the throat like 10 million times and dying leading to lightbulb getting depressed and uhm 'doing things' to herself leading test tube and fan to be sad an-
That's... wow. I did get a small cut on my throat but nothing fatal like.. that. Where do you all find this gruesome fanfics-?
#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity invitational#ii paintbrush#paintbrush ii#painty yapping#flooding memories chronicles
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SOMEONE ASKED ME ABOUT YOU! i will find you. i will know where you reside at all times
run
-animatic (of @animaticaskblog)
Wha-
Wait, what?! You're actually a real person? And you're gonna find me?! I- uh.. oh fuck-
#my friend runs that ask blog go check it out guys!!#this is just the first part of our devious plan.... 😈😈#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity invitational#ii paintbrush#paintbrush ii#painty yapping#misc asks#rough sketch duo
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*oh hey its animatic. hes here now!*
HAHAHA HI PAINTBRUSH I HAVE ARRIVed!!!
Oh- uh.. hi, Ani-
i heard what they told you.
i hear everything.
Oh, uh, well- I.. I really don't know what to tell you, Animatic. I appreciate you as a friend, I really do. But how can I be so sure that you won't kill me nonchalantly like you have with the majority of your contestants at one point or another?
whats wrong with that?
*they seem. genuinely confused*
...Most objects don't exactly... enjoy being killed.
what??
It's morally wrong to kill people, Animatic.
what is “moral” and why is it wrong?
Welp, I uh.. didn't plan on having to explain this. Ever. But I guess you could consider it like... the principle of right and wrong? Feeling a sort of guilt when you do something that harms others, I guess?
i have never experienced anything close to that in my life
Animatic, I actually have a question for you. Would you kill me without hesitation?
no! youre my best friend why would i!
Why are you so fine with killing other people but not me? Maybe you aren't as close to them as you are to me, but their lives hold no less value than mine.
whats wrong with the. it??
Well-.. okay, look, what if I was one of your contestants? In the second challenge, where the goal was to survive, would you have spared me?
no absolutely not but only in that situation! its challenge time!
Hm. Okay. I think I get it now.
Look, dying is really... painful. And objects can be recovered, yes, but that doesn't make it any better. You shouldn't kill objects just because you can. I mean, what if it was you being killed?
it would hurt i think ?
Exactly. And do you think you'd like that very much?
...
I GET IT NOW
Wait seriously-?
HURTING PEOPLE..IS BAD
*animatic has acquired good values and morals! he is now not as murderous!*
Yeah!! I'm so proud of you, dude!
you are?!?!? YAHOO!! I DID I
(as always, animatics dialogue is written by @animaticaskblog !)
#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity invitational#animatic battle#ab animatic#animatic ab#paintbrush ii#ii paintbrush#painty yapping#rough sketch duo
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AHAHSHSHSJSJ
*Pat pat*
Trophy, stooooop.. >:[
M!A totbrush- 2/3
#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity invitational#ii paintbrush#paintbrush ii#trophy ii#ii trophy#painty yapping#magic anon#misc asks
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Hey Painty! How has been hosting art classes in the hotel?
It's been... quite the experience. Every so often, the Cherries and Yinyang wreak havoc upon the art room, which can be stressful to say the least. ...And don't get me started on Box. Just trying to figure out his technique gives me a migraine...
But between teaching my friends how to draw and seeing how excited they are to show me how they improved after each class, I'd say it's worth it!
#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity invitational#ii#paintbrush ii#ii paintbrush#fan ii#ii fan#cherries ii#ii cherries#yinyang ii#ii yinyang#ii nickel#nickel ii#box ii#ii box#painty yapping#misc asks
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PB can u dance?
#(ooc) SORRY THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity invitational#ii paintbrush#paintbrush ii#painty yapping#misc asks
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NO DONT CRY BGY DONT CRY PLEASE I WILL WIPE YOUR TEARS AWAY WHATS WRONG
-fox anon
I-I'm sorry, I just.. I dunno... I don't really want to talk about it.
It's fine. You don't have to tell us.
--
And.. thanks for the tissues.
Also, I already had limbs, but thanks anyway! And whoever called Backgroundy "alpha kitten", I will find you.
M!A body swap-ish thing- 2/3
#(ooc) SORRY THE TISSUES THING WAS FUNNIER IN MY HEAD#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity invitational#ii paintbrush#paintbrush ii#painty yapping#magic anon#backgroundy#flooding memories chronicles
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WOW ARE YOU LIKE. GOING THROUGH MOOD SWINGS!! swings like playground. playground like park. anyways stop doing that it hurts your mental health or whatever! your attitude is seaping into my blog 👿👿👿
-(animatic. from @animaticaskblog again damn)
You know what? I don't even care. It's not even my fault! The askers keep doing this shit to me! If this really is bad for my mental health and I end up wearing a straitjacket in a padded room by the end of this, don't blame me!!
M!A anger 2: electric boogaloo- 4/5
#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity invitational#ii paintbrush#paintbrush ii#painty yapping#magic anon#rough sketch duo#burnt-out brush
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opinions on british “people”
British... "people"? British people are people!
Oh sweet, innocent, Backgroundy... British people don't exist.
..What?
They're just as real as the Easter bunny.. or the tooth fairy... or, y'know, the queen of England.
Wasn't she British?
EXACTLY.
Stop trying to gaslight me into thinking British people aren't real!!
#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity invitational#ii paintbrush#paintbrush ii#backgroundy#painty yapping#misc asks
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Opinion on kitkats? I think your spirit animal is a KitKat bar. By the way, I think you, Lightbulb, Marshmallow, and Fan should help Test tube out with an experiment. Maybe it's her 21st experiment
Yeah, yeah. I know that fanfic. There was a time I had a sleepover with Lightbulb, Test Tube, and Fan and that guy read the whole thing. Out loud.
The fanbase around this show scares me sometimes...
#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity invitational#ii paintbrush#paintbrush ii#painty yapping#misc asks
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Hey, Paintbrush here!
Recently noticed that a few others at Hotel OJ have made some tumblr blogs, so I decided to as well! Welcome to my blog, all :)
I'm Paintbrush (they/them) and I've competed on three seasons of Inanimate Insanity! Season three just ended and I've just been chilling at Hotel OJ for a while. Not doing much else, so I'll probably be answering asks frequently.
Tags of interest:
#painty yapping: Paintbrush answering asks, sometimes used for reblog convos
#misc asks: Asks that don't particularly have anything to do with a plot line
#bristle blather: Asks or convos specifically related to Paintbrush's bristles
#burnt-out brush: Posts where Paintbrush aint doing so hot... also includes the mini arc where Painty ran away and Backgroundy temporarily took over answering
#magic anon: Temporary events that can be applied on the blog
#rough sketch duo: Posts that feature both Paintbrush and Animatic (from Animatic Battle), Animatic usually played by @animaticaskblog
#backgroundy: A character introduced through a magic anon event, Backgroundy is a friendly face on the wall that occasionally shows up on this blog
#flooding memories chronicles: Posts taking a dive into Backgroundy's obscure past!
#rediscovering fire chronicles: Paintbrush has an inner flame now. WHAT!!!
#false contract chronicles: AAAAAA SPRINGYS HERE HES GONNA HIRE US ALL AAAA
#mod kit: Posts from the mod! me!!
hey, mod here! (kit, she/any)
there are a few things id like to mention:
this is my first ask blog. in the history of EVER!! so pls be patient with me
dont plan on including ships on this blog! but i dont mind ship-related asks ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ please just dont be weird or mention proships
like i said, dont be weird in the asks! please no nsfw or fetish-y asks either
dont be an asshole pretty please- i dont mind jokes and sarcasm but if ur only here to be a haterade pls leave 🥺
yall can do magic anons if you want! i actually really like magic anons i think its silly...
i made the paintbrush asset myself! pls dont use it or steal it :')
i may not answer asks immediately so please be patient and dont spam or pressure me into answering! i may ignore and refuse to answer any asks if im uncomfortable as well
keep in mind some of what i say may be personal headcanons or made up on the spot! ill stick to canon as much as possible but if theres an opportunity to add a headcanon, ill likely do so
thanks for reading!
#inanimate insanity invitational#inanimate insanity#ii#ii2#ii3#paintbrush ii#ii paintbrush#paintbrush inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity paintbrush#not an ask#painty yapping#mod kit
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what’s your routine like at the hotel? Do you wake up early or late?
A lot of my friends assume that I'm a night owl, but I actually like going to sleep early so I can wake up early as well! I kind of get headaches when I sleep in, and besides, I like seeing the sun rise in the morning!
After waking up, my first priority is checking on Baxter, seeing if he needs food, water, or his tank cleaned. After that, I go to the bathroom and take about an hour fixing my bristles. Fan tells me that it's unnecessary, but he doesn't see how tangled they get when I wake up! ...Anyways, after that, I brush my teeth and go back to my bed to sketch a little bit and let Baxter roam around. When Fan wakes up, we go downstairs and eat breakfast. Once we finish, I basically just go about whatever I'm doing on that particular day.
In the evening, I eat dinner with the others at the hotel, maybe cleaning the dishes afterwards- depending on the day. Following that, I go back up to my room, take a shower, and place Baxter back in his tank. I always try to go to sleep before Fan gets back because he stays up on his laptop for basically the whole night...
But uhh, not sure if you wanted to go into that much detail, hah.. hopefully I answered your question!
#inanimate insanity#inanimate insanity invitational#paintbrush ii#ii paintbrush#painty yapping#is the art so slay or what#also I just realized how big their eyes are in this particular drawing like. stop staring at me with those big ol eyes smh#misc asks#bristle blather#<- sorta
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