#or a horrid new memory? something somehow worse than getting r*ped as a toddler?

[nexttothelamp]

...

#fantasy used to be more fun #dont get me wrong i love it as much today as i ever did #a good story i think is the most important thing you can give. most important thing you can do #whether youre telling it living it or just listening #they keep us alive #but nowadays id rather be grounded in reality #i like my life and everything ive built #worked hard through a lot of dying and here i am #but the tragedies keep rolling and i am just. so tired #im the least alone ive ever been and yet here i am #dude sleep is so much more important than i ever realized #im too tired to read text messages and im too tired to keep up with people #i want to. badly #but here i am still #too weak to fight it and without anything more medical professionals can do atm #do i have lymes disease #is it narcolepsy? sleep apnea? #or maybe some cptsd side effect? #or a horrid new memory? something somehow worse than getting r*ped as a toddler? #fuck #boss quit #gpa DID die its real now #and im still here. stuck like this. so sick #not sick enough to die. just sick enough to cry and spiral #yunno gpa charlie passing made me realize something #the universe only let him die once he wanted to live. seems so cruel right? #i think thats the point tho #cant die til you want to live #he wanted to die from around 74-90 #and at 91 he found happiness again. wanted to live. and then he died