#ontop of everything else they do and work and everything. i know they're super fucking busy rn

[cactusdodes]

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#my anxiety is having a flare up #i don't think you really use 'flare ups' in the context of anxiety bc it doesn't work that way really but that's what it feels like for me #lately #like i feel like in general my anxiety has gotten a lot better lately. i still have a slight hum of underlying anxiety but i've been pretty #good at ignoring it and getting over it the last yearish but sometimes it's harder to ignore and gets a lil worse for short periods #esp when it comes to my relationships/interactions with people #bc i have no reason to think that the person i'm seeing 'n' has lost interest in me #but they haven't been texting me as much as they usually do the last few days and my anxiety is picking up and ignoring all the #very logical explanations and very extremely likely reasons #they're moving this weekend and didn't really start packing until last week so i know they're busy with that #ontop of everything else they do and work and everything. i know they're super fucking busy rn #and i was also out of town on a trip and they're def the type of person that was probably thinking they don't want to pester me on my trip #(they wouldn't have been) #and also like. they stopped by my job the night before i left to bring me my contact lenses and they were so smiley and excited to see me #even though it was just for a couple minutes #and they facetimed me right before my friend and i left for our trip just to talk to me for a bit and see my face #and they were again so smiley and really seemed like they liked me #so yeah.. logically i know i'm overthinking it and they're not annoyed with me #i know it's just that they're busy. the few other times they've been a little dry with texting was when they #we're super busy/going through some shit #so like i know that's all it is realistically #but my stupid anxiety and self worth issues always automatically going to 'you annoyed them. you fucked something up. they finally realized #you're not actually cool or hot and hot over you but are too sweet to tell you' #which i know is dumb #it's also not fair to them to assume that #it's not fair to them to think that of them #i just like them so much 🥺 but i do know they like me back #they've told me and they act like it #i just get scared #blake says shit