#one that i'm supposed to be puttin on 24/7 just in case he's lookin

[kindacreepy-kindaugly]

I really wish everythin didn't always havta be about sex

With Mr. V I mean

I know it's the only thing in me he cares about but. He could just ignore the rest. I have other interests n aspects to my personality. It doesn't havta always be about catering to his tastes.

Like the way he has a problem with the way I like to dress cause he thinks it's too childish. Maybe I sometimes just wanna look cute without havin to also be fuckable? I already dress the way he likes around him but that's not good enough.

Major tmi in the tags but I'm gettin really frustrated with this n just kinda need to vent it somewhere

#doll #i know he can't really have that much of a one track mind cause he wouldn't have gotten where he was if he did #maybe the rest is saved for people more important than me but. why's he gotta always make everythin about that #i can't tell if he's genuinely tryin to connect with me the only way he knows how or if it's another way of keepin me at arm's length #but it's really frustrating how he manages to mangle every single thing i like into some kinda k1nk thing that i'm not into at all #sometimes i don't really mind i guess but it still feels so. performative tryin to play along. #like no i wanna be a rabbit cause i just wanna burrow sumwhere safe n cozy n nap n not think about anythin #n cause i wanna be soft n cute in a way that makes people wanna protect me not fuck me or hurt me #it's not cause i want you to put me in a harness n call me your baby bunny when you fuck me #n if i say i don't wanna think that doesn't mean i'm askin to be overwhelmed or treated like i'm dumb #i know i'm dumb!!! it doesn't help!! i don't go into 'svbspace' i dissociate n he's just pretending he can't see that #he's not stupid i know he's not n at this point it's startin to feel insulting how he acts like he can't grasp the difference #i am not that dumb either n he knows that. i see what he's doin i just don't know why. #just let me have likes n interests outside of sex ggghhhhhhhhhhhh #then he wonders why my sex drive is completely fucking dead lately. maybe i'd want it more if it didn't always feel like a performance #one that i'm supposed to be puttin on 24/7 just in case he's lookin #(maybe i'd want it even more if i didn't know it's obligatory no matter how i feel about it but that's not gonna happen) #spdrvent