#once on the beach and once in a Stock Horror Movie White Guy's house

[the-punforgiven]

My brain last night was trying to dream about watching the movie Jaws with my beloved, but I have never actually seen the movie Jaws so the "footage from the movie" my brain conjured up concerned the titular creature "Jaws", a bizarre undersea millipede-like creature with a shark's head (This was a false head to deter predators when it wasn't hunting.)

It had a thick carapace lined with small venomous spikes that held an insanely powerful numbing agent. "Jaws" was roughly the size of a small dog (initially, though was still noticeably longer) and covered in small gnashing teeth alongside nearly the entirety of the creature's underside. When it needed to hunt, "Jaws" would bury itself in the sand of shallow lakes, waiting for a human to step too close. Once they did step too close, the human's leg would be rendendered fully numb by the creature's venom and "Jaws" would latch onto and wrap around the leg, using both its teeth and its apparently sharp legs(?) to gruesomely rip and tear the numbed flesh down to the bone, before quickly leaving the unfortunate human and scuttling the fuck off into the sea to apparently molt into something roughly double its size. By the end of the movie it had grown to the point it was wrapping around and attempting to devour entire cargo ships.

I don't know what the FUCK creature that was, but even I know that sure as shit wasn't Jaws

#also worth noting is that I guess my brain was super super excited about this monster premise #because I only got to watch it hunt like twice #once on the beach and once in a Stock Horror Movie White Guy's house #before my brain got too excited about weird creature and fully abandoned its own premise and became Laios Dungeonmeshi infodumping about it #the cargo ship thing even looked like it was a still shot ripped straight from the anime #truly the dream ever lol #pun's text posts #Pun talks Dreams #''Jaws''

[kat-writes-haikyuu]

Matchup Exchange!

This is a matchup exchange with the lovely @herakosmos​ <3

sexuality: straight

zodiacs: sun;capricorn moon;leo rising;cancer

enneagram: 4w7

mbti: infj

height: 5’2-5’3 (ppl say i look taller than my actual height bc of my long legs)

(idk if this is necessary but) looks: straight waist length black hair+middle parted, dark brown orbs, tanned skin, im japanese&filipino, slightly plump lips, a sharp jawline, button nose, a slightly noticeable dimple on my right cheek and pierced ears w/ a cartilage on my right ear :)

body: curvier waist/bottom but flatter/slimmer on the top <\3

likes: popcorn & thai tea hehe, kpop & anime, reading, going to the beach (i live in hawaii+by a beach so i’ve grown to love the beach lmao) sometimes working out when i feel like it

dislikes: ESCALATORS, ppl who chew loudly and very gruesome stuff (i tend to shake a lot at the sight of it😭) and white sauce pasta

personality: i’d say im very shy and more awkward w/ strangers, but w/ friends im very playful & goofy! even though i hate it, most of my friends have told me i looked like a b*tch at first sight, but once they’ve actually hung out w/ me im very much the opposite. my sense of humor is dry and sarcastic. i tend to bottle up my feelings until i explode, but im working on that. im very caring for the ppl i love and can be quite stubborn when it comes to whos right & whos wrong (i always want to be right😭) im also a creative soul who has a passion for editing and fashion! i tend to work on spontaneous bursts of energies which i HATE bc i do want to get things done but never do at the end. overall i feel like im more of an introvert since i love staying in lmao

some more fun facts abt me is i want to become a fashion stylist in the future and want to become a good one. my love lang is words of affirmation! a guy who could make me blush and flustered is definitely my ideal type and ofc loyal!!

I match you with

Bokuto!

So, I didn’t even have to think about this

This goof ball would absolutely ADORE you! 

For starters, Capricorns and Virgos are really compatible!

He would absolutely love your height! Constantly using you as an armrest and calling you Shorty, Short Stuff, or Tiny

He would think that you cartilage piercing is awesome, and would consider getting one as well!

Bokuto loves seeing you smile and thinks your dimple is ADORABLE!

He cannot stop stop booping your nose! It just a cute little button!

When he learns how you like to workout on occasions, he will insist on taking you to the gym with him everyday...

Bokuto always makes sure the house is stocked up on popcorn 

1. For you guys’ movie nights

 and 

2. For your love of popcorn

You guys don’t really watch horror movies, but he will try to convince you! 

He may not be the biggest fan of reading, but he will definitely read some of your favorites if they’re not to long 

He loves that you feel comfortable around him to be playful and goofy, but that doesn’t mean his disliked when you were shy!

Bokuto wasn’t intimidated by you in the slightest, he didn’t really notice that you looked like a b*tch he’s kind of dense

He would go straight to emo mode after the first time you explode around him

He is so confused as to why you won’t talk to him about it, though he is happy that you are working on it! He just wants you to be happy!

Bokuto needs someone caring to help him when he gets hurt after doing something stupid

He understands you want to always be right! Its just like his want to win!

He admires your creativity and supports you 1000% in becoming a Fashion Stylist, and he thinks you will be the greatest one ever!

He probably would be the reason you can’t get anything done when you have a burst of energy he’s gonna drag into his dumb stuff

He doesn’t mind staying home, but he will try and get you come out more often

He will try his best to use words of affirmation, but he’s not the best with words, but he tries!

He would be extremely loyal to you, and would probably fluster you all the time, whether its on accident or on purpose depends on the situation

Thank you so much for doing this with me! I hope this was okay! Have a wonderful day! <3

[hotvideo]

“Green Eyes” (1978)

A MOVIE-OF-THE-WEEK THAT RAISES AWARENESS FOR ALL THE KIDS SPAWNED FROM AMERICAN HOT SAUCE DURING THE VIETNAM WAR, AND HOW A LOT OF THEM ENDED UP HOMELESS, GLUE-SNIFFING ORPHANS.

BACK IN VIET-FUCKING-NAM, MAN, IF YOUR NUMBER GOT CALLED, IT MEANT YOUR ASS. SOME GUYS TRIED TO BEAT THE DRAFT BY GOING TO COLLEGE OR KNOCKING UP A GIRLFRIEND AND GETTING MARRIED; OTHERS TRIED TO COP SOME RAGTIME ABOUT BEING BORN WITH FLAT FEET OR SHOWED UP TO THEIR ARMY PHYSICAL IN A DRESS, BUT THE CHANCES OF THOSE METHODS WORKING WERE SLIM TO NONE. AS THE WISE OLD NEGRO SAYETH: MAN SAY GO, YOU GO.

I DON’T KNOW IF VIETNAM WAS THE FIRST MODERN WAR BEHOLDEN TO THE LAWLESS SPIRIT OF SEX, DRUGS AND ROCK’N’ROLL, BUT IT WAS CERTAINLY THE FIRST WAR SOLD AS SUCH. FOR THOSE OF US WHO WEREN’T THERE, WE’VE HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO WATCH PLATOON ENOUGH TIMES TO KNOW THAT AMERICAN SOLDIERS IN VIETNAM COULD ONLY PROCESS THE HORRORS THEY WITNESSED DAILY– AND, IN MANY CASES, CONTRIBUTED TO – WITH THE AID OF BOOZE, DOPE, MOTOWN AND SEX WITH PROSTITUTES.  WHAT WE THE PUBLIC HAVEN’T FAMILIARIZED OURSELVES ENOUGH WITH IS STORIES ABOUT THE AFTERMATH OF THAT HEDONISTIC DEATHFEST, AND WHAT WAS LEFT BEHIND AFTER THE LAST U.S. CHOPPER FLED SAIGON. “GREEN EYES”, ALTHOUGH TOLD WITHIN THE FRIENDLY 1:33:1 FRAMEWORK OF TELEVISION, ATTEMPTS TO SHED SOME LIGHT ON THIS PERIOD.

THE FILM BEGINS IN THE BACKWOODS OF SOME COUNTRY BUNGHOLE, WHERE PAUL WINFIELD (A HERO AIN’T NOTHIN’ BUT A SANDWICH), A CRIPPLED VIETNAM VET, PAYS A VISIT TO THE HOME OF ONE OF HIS BUDDIES FROM THE SERVICE. IT’S A LITTLE SUPRISING WHEN THE PERSON WHO ANSWERS THE DOOR IS WHITE AND DOESN’T CHASE PAUL OFF WITH A 12-GAUGE. YEAH, THE PARENTS OF THIS DEAD SOLDIER MUST BE QUAKERS COS THEY LAY ON REAL THICK WITH THE OLD “OUR SON WAS KILLED FOR NO REASON” BUSINESS. PAUL, JUST BACK FROM HIS TOUR OF HELL, TELLS THE BEREAVED THEY’RE WRONG. DEAD WRONG.

IT’S BEEN SAID THAT THE BOND A SOLDIER MAKES WITH ANOTHER SOLDIER IS DEEPER THAN ANYTHING HE’LL FORGE ANYWHERE ELSE, EXCEPT MAYBE PRISON. PERHAPS THIS REFLECTS THE GENERAL OUTLOOK OF SOLDIERS, WHO, BY AND LARGE, ARE IMPARTIAL TO THE POLITICS OF ANY WAR THEY FIND THEMSELVES FIGHTING. IDEOLOGY IS FOR POLITICIANS; FOR EVERYONE ELSE, SURVIVAL IS THE MAIN MOTIVATION.

PAUL RETURNS HOME TO THE SOUTHSIDE OF SOME POOR AMERICAN CITY AND CAN’T CATCH A BREAK. NOBODY WANTS TO HIRE HIM BECAUSE HE’S A CRIPPLED VETERAN. WHEN PAUL GETS TIRED OF PLAYING PINBALL WITH THE OTHER JOBLESS MOTHERFUCKERS, HE BEGS HIS MAMA TO GIVE UP HER “KNEES MONEY” SO HE CAN RETURN TO SAIGON AND REUNITE WITH THE MOTHER OF HIS CHILD. MAMA HAS A COW, URGING PAUL TO FORGET ABOUT THAT CHAPTER IN HIS LIFE.

“No half-breed child of a Chinese slut is gonna throw out what I done spent my whole life scrubbing toilets for.”

-Mama

BUT PAUL CAN’T GIVE IT UP. THE BABY BOY, HE’S BEEN TOLD, HAS GREEN EYES JUST LIKE HIM, AND IT’S HIS MISSION TO FIND HIM.

PAUL GETS HIS ONE-WAY TICKET BACK TO SAIGON, WHERE SOME GRAINY STOCK FOOTAGE IS INCORPORATED BY THE FILM’S EDITORS BECAUSE “GREEN EYES”, MADE AFTER SAIGON HAD CLOSED OFF TO THE WEST AND BEEN RENAMED HO CHI MINH CITY, WAS MOST LIKELY LENSED ON AMERICA-FRIENDLY SHORES LIKE THE PHILIPPINES.

PAUL TAKES A CAB TO A SECTION OF SAIGON KNOWN AS “SOUL ALLEY”. THIS IS WHERE HE AND OTHER BLACK G.I.’s STAYED DURING R+R STINTS.

A BUNCH OF LITTLE THIRD-WORLD EXTRAS MATERIALIZE, KNOWING PAUL IS AN AMERICAN AND MIGHT HAVE PENCILS AND CHICLETS.

PAUL FINDS THE APARTMENT WHERE HIS BABY MAMA STAYS, BUT NO ONE’S HOME. 

HE CHEERS UP WHEN HE’S GREETED BY HIS BABY MAMA’S COUSIN, FANG. THEY PROCEED TO DO A CONVOLUTED HANDSHAKE SLASH BOOGALOO THAT PAUL NO DOUBT TAUGHT THE LITTLE SLOPE LATE ONE NIGHT WHEN HE WAS HIGH ON REEFER.

FANG INVITES PAUL IN TO SPEAK WITH MAMA-SAN, BUT SHE’S TOO DISTRACTED TRYING TO FISH A BUFFALO NICKEL OUT OF HER TEA TO ANSWER ANY OF PAUL’S LINE OF QUESTIONING.

TROUBLED AND RESTLESS, PAUL TAKES A WALK TO CLEAR HIS HEAD. HE FINDS A PARK AND SITS DOWN. ALMOST IMMEDIATELY, PAUL GETS PROPOSITIONED BY A FRIENDLY LADY OF THE NIGHT. HE TELLS HER HE’S TOO BROKE TO FUCK; IF HE NEEDS A TUGJOB LATER, HE’LL DO IT HIMSELF.

WHEN THE CHICK SPLITS, A LITTLE KID COMES OVER AND TRIES TO HUSTLE PAUL, PRETENDING THAT HE’S SEEN PAUL’S CHILD. THEN HE STEALS PAUL’S ARMY JACKET. PAUL CHASES HIM, BUT WITH HIS BAD LEG HE CAN’T CATCH UP.

THE NEXT DAY, PAUL BEGINS CANVASSING THE UNDERBELLY OF SAIGON FOR HIS BABY MAMA. HE STOPS AT AN ORPHANAGE, WHERE HE MEETS THE DIRECTOR, AN ENGLISHWOMAN (RITA TUSHINGHAM, THE KNACK... AND HOW TO GET IT) WHO OFFERS HIM ARMY RATION LEMONADE.

SHE GIVES PAUL THE SKINNY ON ADOPTION IN SAIGON, A SOUL-CRUSHING MASS OF RED TAPE THAT MAKES AMERICA’S SYSTEM LOOK CIVILIZED.

MISS RITA ALSO TELLS PAUL THAT HIS SON WAS MOST LIKELY ABANDONED BECAUSE OF HIS BEING PART BLACK. TO KEEP THE CHILD WOULD HAVE BESET THE MOTHER WITH A FAR MORE TRICKY STANDING IN VIETNAMESE SOCIETY.

AT THIS POINT, PAUL WANTS TO BURY HIS HEAD IN A BOILING POT OF PHO AND PEACE OUT. HE DISTRACTS HIMSELF WITH A COMBAT FLASHBACK, THE CLASSIC DRIVING-DOWN-SOME-COUNTRY-ROAD-AND-HITTING-A-LANDMINE NUMBER.

THREE-QUARTERS OF THE SPECIAL EFFECTS BUDGET DOWN THE TUBES.

PAUL NOTICES THE PALLETS OF CHEAP CLOTHING IN THE MARKETPLACE ARE ALL MARKED WITH THE SAME STENCIL.

PAUL VISITS ONE OF THE ORPHANAGES MISS RITA MENTIONED. HE FINDS AN OVERCROWDED ROOM AND A BUNCH OF UNSUPERVISED KIDS TEARING THE PLACE APART.

WHEN PAUL APPROACHES THE ADULT IN CHARGE, HE FINDS HE’S SPEAKING TO A FUCKING BLIND PERSON. DAMN. SUBTLE.

PAUL WRITES A LETTER TO HIS MAMA, TELLING HER ABOUT THE THINGS HE’S SEEN IN THE ORPHANAGES, AND THE KIND OF POVERTY THAT DOESN’T COMPARE TO ANYTHING HE KNOWS BACK IN AMERICA.

THIS IS THE PART WHEN “GREEN EYES” ESSENTIALLY BECOMES AN ADVERT FOR UNICEF.

PAUL BUYS A BUNCH OF BANANAS AND FEEDS THE LITTLE MONKEYS. HE STARTS SPENDING MORE TIME WITH THEM. IT GIVES HIM A SENSE OF PURPOSE.

THEN HE RUNS INTO THE LITTLE FUCKER WHO STOLE HIS ARMY JACKET. THE KID, CALLED TRUNG, KNOWING HE’S GOT ABOUT TWO SECONDS TO LIVE BEFORE PAUL’S BIG BLACK FISTS COME RAINING DOWN, PROMISES TO HELP PAUL FIND HIS SON.

“Kid, you ain’t worth the skin on my knuckles. Where he at?

TRUNG TAKES PAUL TO A BAR TO MEET A FIXER, ONE OF THOSE GUYS WHO KNOWS PEOPLE AND HOW TO PROCURE THINGS.

THE GUY TURNS OUT TO BE PAUL’S OLD ARMY BUDDY, MIAMI BEACH. THIS CAT FAKED HIS OWN DEATH TO GET OUT OF THE SHIT, MAN. NOW HE’S BLOWING PAUL’S MIND, TALKING ALL KINDS OF TALK ABOUT HOW SAIGON’S A GAS -- YOU CAN GET ANYTHING YOU WANT. PICK YOUR POISON.

MIAMI BEACH SENDS PAUL AND THE KID TO THE COUNTRYSIDE TO RENDEZVOUS WITH THE RICE PADDY CONTINGENT.

ON THE WAY, THEY HAVE TO BRIBE SOME CHECKPOINT GOONS WITH OLD LOTTERY TICKETS TO GET THROUGH.

WHILE TRUNG GOES DOOR TO DOOR, PAUL LAYS BACK IN THE CUT AND REALIZES HE KNOWS THIS VILLAGE INTIMATELY.

ONCE UPON A TIME, HIS PLATOON BURNED IT TO THE GROUND SO THEY COULD BEAT A RIVAL SQUAD ON BODY COUNTS AND WIN A CASE OF BUDWEISER.

MORE OF THE SPECIAL EFFECTS BUDGET IN ACTION.

OBLIGATORY “NOOOOOOO” SHOT.

PAUL’S PRETTY BUMMED OUT WHEN HE RETURNS FROM THE COUNTRYSIDE. MIAMI BEACH DRAGS HIM TO A PARTY AT SOME RICH BROAD’S HOUSE, SELLING IT AS AN IN TO THE EX-PAT BREAD THAT WILL HELP HIM FIND GREEN EYES.

ON THE RIDE OVER, MIAMI’S CHERRY BENZ GETS ATTACKED BY SOME HUNGRY OLVIDADOS.

THE PARTY’S PRETTY HAPPENING. PAUL CAN’T GET OVER THE HORS D’EUVRES SPREAD, ENOUGH FOOD THE TO FEED ALL THE ORPHANS IN SAIGON. OH, THE IRONY! AND... AND LOOK AT THOSE JUGS! JESUS! ILSA, ILSA!

EVEN THE BUDDHISTS ARE SATED.

PAUL ISN’T HAVING ANY OF IT. ACROSS THE LAWN, HE RECOGNIZES MISS RITA FROM THE ADOPTION AGENCY HAVING A SIMILARLY TERRIBLE TIME. THEY CONSPIRE TO STEAL SOME TRAYS OF FINGER FOOD AND FEED THE LITTLE MONKEYS OUTSIDE THE GATE.

THIS PISSES OFF THE PARTY HOST SO MUCH, PAUL AND RITA ARE ASKED TO LEAVE.

THEY WALK THE STREETS UNTIL CURFEW. WHEN THE CLOCK STRIKES TEN, RITA SAYS SHE HAS TO GET BACK TO THE ORPHANAGE AND PUT THE BABIES TO BED. PAUL ASKS IF HE, TOO, CAN HELP PUT RITA’S BABIES TO BED. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT BABIES PAUL IS REFERRING TO, OR IF, IN FACT, HE MEANS RITA’S PRIVATE PARTS.

PAUL SPENDS SOME QUALITY TIME AT RITA’S ORPHANAGE, WHERE HE TEACHES SOME OF THE KIDS HOW TO PLAY BASEBALL. RITA TELLS PAUL THE SAD NARRATIVE OF A STREET KID’S LIFE IN SAIGON, ESSENTIALLY THAT HE LIVES ON GARBAGE UNTIL HE’S FIFTEEN, WHEN HE JOINS THE ARMY TO ESCAPE THE STREETS. FIFTEEN?! THIS GIVES PAUL A NEW PERSPECTIVE ON TRUNG AND HIS ILK.

LATER THAT NIGHT, AFTER THE CHILDREN HAVE BEEN PUT TO BED, PAUL AND RITA SMOKE SOME OPIUM AND RAP INTO THE WEE HOURS ABOUT GREEN EYES AND ALL THE COLORS IN THE SKY, AND HOW LIFE CAN BE SO FLY WHEN YOU’RE HIGH ON THIS MAGIC CARPET RIDE.

“Do you fancy a shag, Othello?”

THE NEXT DAY, TRUNG COMES OVER FOR LUNCH.

HE STUFFS HIS FACE WITH PAPAYA AND ALMOST FORGETS TO TELL PAUL THAT MIAMI BEACH HAS MANAGED TO LOCATE PAUL’S EX OLD LADY, LEI-CHAN.

“The hell you say?! Put that fruit down and talk to me, boy. That damn papaya can wait, but my son, goddamit, my son can’t...”

TRUNG TAKES PAUL TO A HELLISH MARINA WHERE INSIDE EVERY CARDBOARD SHANTY SOMEONE’S EITHER SHOOTING A SNUFF FILM OR PERFORMING A CAT ABORTION.

YES, FRIENDS, BY DONATING JUST FIVE DOLLARS A MONTH, YOU CAN ENSURE THAT A BEAUTIFUL CHILD LIKE THIS ONE RECEIVES THE BASIC FOOD AND NOURISHMENT IT REQUIRES TO SUBSIST IN THE HARSH CONDITIONS OF LIFE IN THE DEVELOPING WORLD.

THEY FINALLY GET TO THE TENT WHERE LEI-CHAN IS BELIEVED TO BE. PAUL TELLS TRUNG TO WAIT OUTSIDE.

IN THE BOOM-BOOM ROOM, PAUL DISCOVERS HIS EX. SHE LOOKS TIRED AND FUCKED-OUT. A BABY’S CRYING IN THE CLOSET. COULD IT BE?

SWING LOW... SWEET CHARIOT... NOPE, IT’S SOMEBODY ELSE’S BABY. A PILOT FOR AIR PHILIPPINES, LEI-CHAN EXPLAINS. THE DUDE WAS SUPPOSED TO SEND FOR THEM THE PREVIOUS WEEK BUT GOT TIED UP IN A MONSOON.

“Green Eyes is dead. I am sorry. He get fever. That was that. And Paul, if you like to feel better, I give you fucky fuck for ole time sake.

PAUL OPTS OUT OF THE FUCKY FUCK AND LEAVES THAT BOOM-BOOM ROOM A CHANGED MAN. PART OF HIM IS DEAD, A MUCH BIGGER PART THAN WAS ALREADY DEAD, BUT, MORE IMPORTANTLY, PART OF HIM IS NOT DEAD.

HE TAKES THE TOY HE WAS PLANNING TO GIVE GREEN EYES, ONE OF THOSE DISTURBING WIND-UP MONKEYS THAT PLAY THE CYMBALS, AND BURIES IT IN THE GROUND, UPSIDE DOWN. SEMPER FI!

PAUL STOPS BY MISS RITA’S TO SAY GOODBYE. HE ASKS IF SHE’S SEEN TRUNG. SHE HASN’T, BUT WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT THE BOY BELIEVED PAUL HAD FOUND HIS SON AND NO LONGER HAD ANY USE FOR TRUNG. ALTHOUGH HE’S WORRIED HE’LL MISS HIS FLIGHT BACK HOME, PAUL DECIDES TO LOOK FOR TRUNG AND SAY GOODBYE. HE HAILS A TAXI AND TAKES IT TO THE MOO-GOO-GUY DISTRICT.

TRUNG APPEARS SITTING ON A BRIDGE, WEARING A BALLOON ON HIS HEAD AND EATING WHAT LOOKS LIKE GRILLED PUPPY INTESTINES ON A STICK. HE ASKS ABOUT GREEN EYES. PAUL TELLS HIM THE TRUTH, THE BABY TRUNG HEARD WAS SOMEBODY ELSE’S.

“I think I have the rest of my day to hear this American story, but I only have three more seconds to finish this fried plantain before it congeals and turn to athlete’s foot.”

“Say, Trung, man, I just missed my plane because of you, man. So what’cha doin’ with the rest of your life? How about we catch a ferry out of this here and go exploring, man. I hear that Malay pussy is outta sight. Like, they know how to take care of a brother. And after that, we’ll set sail for Brazil. Man, the bitches down there ain’t even got hair... down there.”

THE END.

#tv movie #vietnam war #paul winfield #big box vhs