#on this blog I guess since it's worldbuilding related and technically art.. maybe more like crafting? I should have a crafts tag lol.. hmm

[doctorinnovatium]

Alias / Name: Adam

Birthday: 8th April

Zodiac sign: Aries

Height: 5'3'' 1/2

Hobbies: Art, video games, reading and writing

Favourite colour: Hmm, does greenish-purple count?

Favorite book: Ooo, I have quite a few. I'm a big fan of the Discworld books (you might have guessed that from my writing style), and I also like the H.P Lovecraft stories. As for a single book, I'll probably choose "The Dream of Perpetual Motion" by Dexter Palmer, which is a rather trippy Steampunk book which borrows alot from Shakespeare's Tempest, a recommended read from me.

Last song: I assume this means last song listened to, but I listen to a lot of music, so I'll pick the last song I've added to a playlist, and that is (I believe) "Dam, Damn" by Pater.

Last film / show: Treasure Planet. I'm actually in the process of doing a marathon of all the Disney movies that I haven't watched in years (read: all of them).

Recent reads: Currently reading "At the Mountains of Madness" by H.P Lovecraft.

Inspiration: I'll assume this means inspiration for my muses or my blog in general. I've been really into the Steampunk subculture ever since I was an early teen, with Steam Powered Giraffe and Paul Shapera being what defined Steampunk for me. I've also been really into the Discworld novels, which both influenced my writing style and my method of worldbuilding, deconstructing concepts like the relation between reality and fantasy and magic viewed from the perspective of sufficiently-advanced science. In this sense, the Doctor could be considered the deconstruction of both the mad scientist and the Lovecraftian seeker of knowledge archetype, mixed with the personality of an eccentric Victorian gentleman with included verbosity.

As for Alice, Steam Powered Giraffe was more of a direct inspiration, especially with the design, and I often listen to their music for Alice-based inspiration. Continuing with the deconstruction of archetypes, I've based Alice's personality and "aesthetic" (if you will) on my own perception of my generation (Gen Z, and maybe a touch of Millennial), self-deprecation and preoccupation with feel-good vibes included.

Story behind url: It's... the name of the Doctor himself. Not much of a story there.

Fun fact(s) about me: I know this fact is already stated on my bio, but I was diagnosed with High-Functioning Autism at an early age, which mainly affects me in the sensory sense (sensitivity to noises and unfamiliar smells and tastes). I've also found that my thought processes could easily be compared to a broken old radio that's tuned into every station at once, so I tend to find myself laughing at random thoughts or references that flicker in my head from time to time, but I'm not sure if that's due to my autism or just from my general mental health. Oh, and I have something of a fixation on skeletons, which my sister suggests might be a remnant from my earlier fixation on pirates.

Tagged by: Technically @spxcemuses​

Tagging: Anyone who likes to talk about themselves.

#the man behind the curtain (mun) #OOC #dash games

[kusunokihimea]

     [ Sooo I’m gonna talk about a thing under the cut that’s honestly been eating at me for like...a good while now, and that’s: RP burnout.

     I’m not really sure when I started feeling so...disconnected? from RP here on Tumblr. Don’t get me wrong: I love my muses, I love my threads, my partners, my friends...something just feels...off. I feel drained whenever I go to tend to my drafts. And it’s not that I don’t like them, or want them, I just feel...uninspired? I guess? Like I want the stories to continue, I just...don’t feel like I can.

     At the beginning of June (and technically for a week or two before) I worked REALLY HARD on my OC x Canon ship week, and wrote MASSIVE drabbles. Seven of them. All in a row. And I LOVED it. Before I was ever into RP, I was into writing fics. It’s how I got into fandom way back in like...idek when. 2006? 2007? I got into Naruto, my first real fandom experience, through Quizilla and the fic writing community. Then I moved to fanfiction.net. Then I started RP in like...2012? 2013? with a few friends. And I loved it! It was a whole new way to write stories and flesh out characters...some of it even inspired an entire worldbuilding project of mine, Nightwalkers. And a few years later, when I started getting really sick, I dropped fic writing completely, and devoted entirely to RP a few months later. I’ve been here ever since.

     But lately...I dunno. I guess it’s just the pendulum swinging back the other way? I’m enjoying writing fics again. I’ve been doing daily drabbles over on @365daysofsasuhina. I haven’t missed a single day, and we’re halfway through the year. Granted, some nights I’m tired or grumpy and don’t feel like doing it, but I do it. I did the OC x Canon ship week. And I’ve been doing both RP-related drabbles and prompted drabbles from friends for months and months. And keep getting new ideas, when in the past...that was gone.

     So what does this mean? I dunno. I love RP. Maybe I just need a break. Maybe I’m spreading myself too thin, cuz gods know I do that literally all the time. There’s so much I wanna do! I have like a dozen sideblogs, all for different projects, and...all are suffering because I just don’t have time to tend to them all. Icons. Art. Drabbles. Other RP blogs. A personal blog.

     I love all my muses. But lately I’ve gotten this feeling that I’m just...trying to do too much. Hyuuchiha has 17 muses. This blog has 12, including some NPCs. I’ve had itchings to do two more, move things around, try to branch out...but at the same time I also wanna just strip the blogs to their bare bones. I’ve thought of making Hyuuchiha purely Sasuke and Hinata, maybe their two kids. Because I don’t have enough time for all those muses, and...most get overlooked anyway. Probably because most are OCs, or underrated canons. Just stinks when you put so much work into building muses...and then have no time for them. And when you DO, it seems no one else does (except those of you who are always around - I see you, I do). But I mean in the grand scheme of things, I get single digit percentage interaction in regards to followers. On both blogs, tbh. And I love the interactions I get, it just...feels like there’s this crowd of people around, with maybe 5 who even seem to notice I’m here. And I wonder if me and my habit of taking on too much is to blame.

     I feel the same way about this blog. I have muses who hardly get touched. And while I’m sure that’s partly my fault for not putting them out there enough...I dunno. It makes me wonder if it’s worth having them around at all.

     ...to be fair, life itself has been REALLY hard on me lately, too. I’ve had friendships go south, family being nasty, my job is dragging out and I’m not getting paid, all while having to work even harder and getting extremely tired. My health, mental and physical, is suffering. I’m barely hanging in there most days, in all honesty. Which I know most folks don’t wanna hear about: we’re here to RP, not talk about our real lives and problems...but that DOES affect how and when and if we can RP. And I’m not one to pretend that RL doesn’t play a role in my hobby(s). I’m human, and so is everyone else.

     I’m getting all sorts of off-track, but...in short: I’m majorly burnt out. In MANY regards, and I’m not sure how to like...salvage the situation. Do I just majorly downsize my blogs and turtle to active followers? Do I take a hiatus? Do I drop RP altogether and go back to ficcing full time for my writing hobby? I dunno. I think this has been a long time coming between life and frustrations here.

     So...just a heads up, that for now, I’m gonna just...take it slow. I need to think about these blogs and how I wanna handle them. Maybe make another sideblog for archiving muses I need to put on a backburner. Cuz I don’t want all that work to go to waste, and granted, 98% of those OCs are ALAS related, and...gods know I’ll never finish that. I haven’t even worked on it in years because...what’s the point? So what’s the point with the muses, too? I want to keep writing, and I’m not dropping threads. It just...might be a while until I get to them. Some muses (and thus their threads) might be dropped, but...not for now. I need to think first. I guess most of this is just me thinking out loud (well not out loud, but...you know what I mean).

     Anyway...change is probably coming either way. Just...not sure how, yet. All I ask is that you be patient with me. This community and the friends I’ve made have been what’s kept me afloat for about four years now. I’m not leaving or letting that go. But something’s gotta give =/ ]

#sylvie speaketh [ ooc ] #long post #sylvie back at it again being a dummy #and just #trying to do inhuman amounts of things and then crashing and burning #is anyone surprised? #probably not lol