#on campus someone wrote 'it's ok to be angry' on a public wall with a sharpie and i love this stranger bc

[louderfade]

what we need mental health services to offer is an anger room. where you can go to just scream and break things. like stock it with 20 bucks worth of cheap plates and let patients smash the shit out of them. howl and pound on the walls until they're relieved/satisfied. maybe THEN when my mind is cleared of negative electricity we can discuss the sources of the suffering. like when i did equine therapy (which is the only therapy that ever helped me) they leave you all alone with the horses for an hour and then at the end you verbally process for five minutes. when you're at peace and thinking clearly. smashing objects is a great way to achieve clarity of thought. i speak from years of experience. just ask the holes in my walls.

#i'm not going back to therapy until they offer a rage room treatment option #the last time i drank liquor i scared some children by sobbing in public and went to the ER only #to walk out before the mental health team arrived i am tired of mental health teams #then there's shit like betterhelp shoving ads in your face and betterhelp might be the most evil thing to come out #of the last decade preying on desperate vulnerable people is so gross it's like when the cops cut holes in the tents of #the homeless like what is actually wrong with you people are you even human or did the modern world kill the #soul-like lifeforce deep inside you what happens in your head when you fall asleep at night i swear too many people #have been gutted of their humanity and are just zombies following orders they are so dangerous they keep us all sick #on campus someone wrote 'it's ok to be angry' on a public wall with a sharpie and i love this stranger bc #it's more than ok. it makes sense. rage is the proper response to the current reality. #rage and substance abuse

[twelvesignsrp]

congratulations lorena, taurus is now jude castillo with the faceclaim alberto rosende

APPLICATION

Character Sign: Taurus

Character name: Jude Castillo Birthday: May 2, 1997 Sexuality: Bisexual Gender: Male Moon Sign: Pisces Faceclaim: Alberto Rosende

Power:

Quick Healing: Jude has suffered a rougher upbringing than most. He’s taken his share of hard hits, and dealt them back out as well. Now, the hard hits seem to fall right off of him when he’s in the mood to be heroic.

What do they study?

Jude managed to get into the school of his dreams on a football scholarship. He never could have afforded it otherwise. He has a keen mind for mathematics, but struggles with every other subject. He aspires to one day teach arithmetic to primary students.

Biography:

Jude is a survivor, but he doesn’t want that to define him. For as long as Jude can remember, his father was an alcoholic. His childhood days consisted of school, football with his mates, walking the three miles home, eating dinner with his Mum, then silently hiding in his room while his father drunkenly raged through the house each night. At first his mother took the brunt of it. Melinda was a stay-home mother. She had no car. She was tidy and quiet and obedient. When Jude turned fourteen however, he had somehow obtained a rude tongue his mother never had. Another thing neither of his parents had was his stature. The boy grew like a tree. Stocky and tall, Jude soon outweighed his father. It did not stop the occasional verbal and physical abuse the angry little man would throw at his loved ones.

Jude soon found himself getting into trouble outside of his home. When his best friend was hooked on cocaine late in secondary school, Jude decided the best way to solve the problem was to snitch on the dealer. In the following week, one drug dealer went to jail, and Jude was confronted by three thugs with cricket bats on his walk home from school. He came out of it with three fractured ribs and a broken wrist. Despite his injuries, Jude continued to play football at school.

Over time, he has learned that everyone is a victim of some kind of predator. He used to be the guy who stood up for the little guy, but that only seemed to get him more trips to the hospital. Though he still has a strong compassion for others, Jude has developed a healthy level of caution from experience. He’s had enough failed relationships to know that not everyone wants to be saved. Maybe one day he’ll meet someone who wants to save him in return.

He may seem unfocused. His interests lie all across the spectrum: sports, video games, gardening, partying, meditation, sculpture, reading, cooking… His practical mind has formulated all these distractions as ways to put up walls over his sensitive nature. Rather than worry, he keeps a level head and practices one of a million different mechanisms to get things done. He’s well-practiced in damage control, and knows how to stay strong in just about any situation. At his new school, he fits the “big guy on campus” stereotype rather well, and would like to keep it that way.

Five interesting facts about your character:

Jude has known he is bisexual since he was sixteen years-old. He has never told anyone. He once took a part-time job when he was fifteen, and was fired two weeks into it. If he has headphones on, he will usually be listening to hip-hip or punk music. Jude has three tattoos: rose thorns and barbed wire wrapping around his left ankle and climbing his leg, a large horned bull skull across his shoulder blades, and the calculus equation for a heart-shaped graph (look here) on the inside of his wrist. Though he likes animals, he not a pets person. His lazy predisposition is much better for tending houseplants than puppies.

Character Quote:

“And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain Don’t carry the world upon your shoulders For well you know that it’s a fool who plays it cool By making his world a little colder” -The Beatles

“It takes a great deal of courage to see the world in all its tainted glory, and still learn to love it.” -Oscar Wilde

If your character had a patronus what would it be? and why?

Ok, I took five different quizzes and got five different answers. Sooo helpful. I’m going to go with the badger, because the badger is strong and protective of its home, fluffy on the outside but all teeth and claws on the inside. Badgers are also very close to the earth, making them more “grounded” and sensible.

WRITING SAMPLE

It had been a surreal kind of week. Of all the things Jude expected to happen at uni, weird occult magic was not one of them. It was strange enough when a voiceless desire had pulled him from a round of beer pong at a party. “I’m gonna take a piss, be right back,” he said. Next thing he knew, his feet had carried him out into the park. He wasn’t alone. Some faces, he recognized, others were complete strangers. None of them knew what they were doing there.

The next morning, Jude had wrote it off as a little too much alcohol and chips before bed. It must have been a crazy dream. Things like that don’t happen in real life.

Then, real life went and proved him wrong again.

The air was brisk and thick with fog that morning. The clouds had fallen to rest on the university grounds for a morning snooze. Jude tied his scarf tight around his neck and laced up his boots.

“I’m off!” He called to his roommate, who was still chewing on his breakfast in a zombified state. “Good luck on that quiz,” Jude added.

“Cheers.” His roommate waved an ineffectual goodbye.

He hoisted his book bag over his shoulder and stepped out into the cold mist. Tiny pinpoints of water lighted on his skin. Sighing, Jude tucked away his glasses into the pocket of his wool jacket. His fingers brushed against the smooth plastic of his phone. Thoughtlessly, he slipped the phone from his pocket and checked the time. Then the world went black.

A head-splitting stab of pain dragged Jude back into consciousness. His cheek rubbed against rough concrete as he pulled himself up, blinking against the foggy daylight. “What the f-” He groaned as he grasped the back of his head. Warm liquid slicked through his fingers and coagulated in his hair. “Aw, what the fuck,” he hissed through clenched teeth. He climbed to his feet, hands brushing aside shattered pieces of terracotta clay and clumps of dirt.

Jude stumbled into the nearest public toilets, grasping his bleeding head. His spare hand grabbed a wad of paper towels and cranked on the hot water in the sink. As he wiped away the blood in his hair, the pit in his stomach opened wider. His fingers searched at the surface of his skin. There was no cut. He could not even find a bump where the pot had struck him. His hands shook as he tossed the bloody towels in the bin. He balled his hands into fists to stop the quivering.

“This doesn’t happen in real life.” His rough voice sounded distant in his own ears. “People don’t just almost die and then walk away like nothing happened.” The pain in his skull had subsided to a dull ringing. He sucked a deep breath into his lungs. “I need to talk to the others. One of them has to know what is happening here.”

#accepted #12signsadmin