#ok anyway. fics and fanart or w/e. it all comes back to the root problem of I Have Low Self Esteem GOODBYE!!!!

[cerealmonster15]

truly part of why most things i show or whatever r sketchy doodles i did in one sitting is that it is always a race against the clock when im doing something before The Evil takes over and eats me. i get stressed about if i try to actually make something pretty bc i know i cant lol, and if i take too long [staring nervously at the google docs i keep opening and closing] on a fic it's harder to finish bc i start Thinking about it too much and if it's any good or if it's cringe or What Ever

#a battle against myself truly lol .................. #ive been making slow progress on the kalim/silver and jamil/azul story but. but. #im stuck and afraid lol #the heartslabyul thing i started writing a month ago i am like. at the end ? it's a short little simple thing but #ive frozen in like 'oh this is lame and bad and boring and cringe actually' and cant bring myself to finish #i have a cater/trey thing where i wrote up the idea/concept notes when the idea came to me #bc it's both a ship fic and also a character/relationship study #but then thats one where im extra afraid to write it bc it's likeohhh i want it to be good and handled well and i want my #point to come across and i dont want to fuck it up #grrr grrr grrr the downside of perception is thinking too much of. the perception of others JKLFDSJKFLJS #i want to be FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE #also i just have. personal issues. self love issues LOL but im not getting into that rn. #i also have had nasty allergies all week girl help it's raining pollen and my throats fucked up #i took a covid test today just in case and it was negative #and my partner hasnt gotten sick from kissing me so im more sure its allergies lol but OUGHGHGHGHH feels ick #ok anyway. fics and fanart or w/e. it all comes back to the root problem of I Have Low Self Esteem GOODBYE!!!! #🤧🤧🤧!!!!!!!!!!!