#oh shit tme to fucking hffbhff proofread its 1:30 am jesusfhubskdjjksd

[fakeloveaskblog]

Hi, me again. This is a story progressing ask so you can say what happens when Janus and Remus arrive at Remy’s. If someone else put through an ask for it you can use that, this is just so that you can say what happens next if no one else had an ask for this.

Glow Eyes

Tw: talk about abuse, talk about sex but like not at all in a smutty way

The door flung open nearly right into Remy's face. They leant back and looked up to meet Remus' worried look. His jacket had clearly been thrown on, his shoes weren't matching and his hair stood up like a bird’s nest. Janus was out of breathe as he closed the door behind them.

"Remy" Was all Remus gasped out before collapsing on his knees right in front of them. He hugged them like it was the end of the world.

They clambered their arms around him and dug their face into the crook of his neck "Remus"

Janus sat down next to them and both of them quickly reached out to pull him into the hug. He let his hands comfortably stay around Remy's waist as he pressed a kiss to their hair.

He quietly scanned Remy's face for any hints of what had happened. The dark bags under their eyes, the red tear streaks down their cheeks, their mat hair that had nearly grown to their shoulders. And the bruises. He tried to steer his eyes away from the spots of darkly nauseating purples and greens, and yet he couldn't stop staring at them.

"Are you okay?" Janus wanted to hit themself immediately after saying it. What a stupid question. Of course Remy wasnt-

Remy quickly nodded in response. They held onto Remus like a lifeline "I'm all good girl" Their voice was shaky.

"Do you know when Virgil will be back? Is he away at work or?"

"Staying at his uh parent's place. It's like an- 2 hours away? I think? I dunno girl I'm tots stupid sorry"

"You're not stupid!!! AND How can you be okay?!" Remus exclaimed right into their face "You haven't seen your bestie boy kraken bitch in months!!! I've missed you!!! I've got so much to tell you!!! OH!! If Virgin is away we can stay up all night and eat pumpkin meat and worm candy and cuddle and watch movies!! And then I can have a super duper long conversation with your body so it stops being a total dickass and stop making you unable to leave the apartment ‘cause of pain!!” 

They let out a weak chuckle "That sounds great girl. Really let at it. It's what the bitch bod deserves!"

"Now when Virgil is...away" Janus balanced the words on their tongue, unsure of how to continue "Would you like to come over to one of our places? Getting some change of scenery would be good-" It felt so stupid to cloud this all in fancy words. They looked directly into their' loves eyes and bluntly asked "Remy do you want to leave?"

An immediate look of utter terror went across their face mixed in with just the smallest bit of hope glimmering in their eyes. Their dried out lips parsed to speak but only a hasty breathe came out.

It followed up with this sick, nearly lucid, expression. Only worsened by their sunken in cheeks and red eyes.

Janus hesitated and forced a nod “It’s okay darling. We can both stay here for the rest of the day, Right Rem?”

Remus quickly nodded along “Oh yeah!! I got all the time in the world for my beloved beanpole!”

Remy’s expression softened and the terror drained away “That sounds great girlies”

The two of them helped Remy up on their unsteady feet. They leant against their friends as they dragged them over to the couch. They kept mumbling out apologies for being so slow and in return the other two kept loudly reassuring how okay going slow was.

“Let’s get us some water okay” Janus said as the Rems slumped down onto the couch “Water is good-”

“Water has like 3 atoms. At Least!” Remus chimed in.

“Right. True. very true. Facts even”

It was probably a bit naive to think but Janus still hoped that a day’s rest and loads of support from the both of them would shake Remy out of the mindset Virgil had trapped them in just for long enough so they could be convinced to leave.

For now Janus went out into the kitchen and filled three glasses with water. They leant down near a corner and whispered.

“Any watcher nearby? I could use a package of their meds”

It took a few seconds before a package of strong painkillers was spit out into their hand. Some weird substance had gotten stuck on the edge of the package. They were unsure if it was general void goo or snail slime, either way they shook it off.

“Thank you”

When Janus got back to the living room Remus had completed his transformation into an octopus by throwing his arms around Remy as hard as he could and aggressively rubbing the the sides of their faces together. They seemed to enjoy it.

“Should I even ask what you’re doing” Janus asked dryly while sitting down next to them.

“I’m marking Beanie as my territory!! OH! In the real world animals mark their territory by peeing. Beanie do you want me to pee on you” Remus hopefully joked.

“Omgushh girrrlll you finally got my signals like yeeeah totallly would love to”

“I should have just left you two to dehydrate to death” Janus rolled their eyes while handing out the glasses.

“Thanks Jannie!” “Thank you SnakeyBakey!” 

The Rems clinked their glasses together. Remus poked his fingers into the water and splashed it onto the other Rem right when they drank. They let out a loud fake gasp and threw a pillow onto his head.

Janus moved their beanie over their eyes and melted into the couch. With their eyes closed they sat there for a long time, simply listening to the Rems squabbling, chatting and gossiping. They let themself daydream that the three of them were sitting in some other apartment, and everything was at peace.

“I thought being on meds could help with how easy you get bruised” Remus suddenly said. He had attempted to lick the bruise near their temple to make it heal faster.

“That’s not how fibro works sweetie”

“Just checking here, but you are still taking your meds” Janus lifted the beanie just enough to look at them “Right? I can’t recall the pain ever being so bad it limited your ability to walk this much”

Remy got this stale grimace on their face, like they had tried to smile but failed halfway through. 

Jan reached out and placed their hand on top of Remy’s “It’s okay. Medicine is expensive. It is very understandable if you haven’t been able to get them regularly”

“Yeah!! Especially while alone!” Remus chimed in.

“Exactly. So it is good that I requested some of your medicine from the watchers”

He took out the meds from his pocket. Before he even had a chance at opening it Remy had reached around his wrist to stop him. They met his eyes.

“Don’t”

“Is anything..wrong?” He asked.

“I- I just-I don’t like really need meds right now. I’m managing fine”

Remus held them a little closer “I dunno Beanie. I think you would be doing equally as fine if someone chainsawed off your toes”

Janus squeezed their hand ever so carefully “If...If it’s anything with Virgil...He’s not here right now. There is literally no possible way for him to know if you have taken medication or not. He will never know”

Remy’s breathing began to fasten. They shook their head. “I- I really don’t need- I can’t-”

“It’s okay. All the meds will do is relieve the pain. There won’t be any signs of you taking it”

“I DON’T NEED IT!” Remy yelled. 

Their limbs twitched without them controlling any of it. Their legs nearly kicked Janus. Remus held onto them even harder, his eyes went a bit glazed as dissociation kicked in.

“I’M FINE! I am managing through the symptoms FINE! I can manage through the pain! THAT’S WHAT I ALWAYS DO! I DON’T NEED THE FUCKING MEDS!”

A second went by. An egregiously slow second. Remy’s breathing was raged as all the anger went away. Their entire body started to shake and their voice sounded like it had been dragged raw as they quickly forced out

“I- I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean- I- I’m sorry- I’m sorry- I’m really sorry- I’m sorry-”

Janus sat aside the meds and reached out for them “Hey it’s okay. You didn’t hurt anyone. Breathe. Breathe. We can talk about the medicine later, it’s okay”

Remy gulped before nodding. They turned to Remus and sent him a big worried look “You alright? I’m sorry babe” They mumbled out.

“...mhm...Dissociated but...alright”

They trailed their hand along his arm to help ground him. It wasn’t the yelling that had affected him, it was how much it reminded Remus of his outbursts about medicine right after leaving Os. It reminded him of how he’d screamed at his sister about how the antipsychotics would only hurt him. Of how he kept fighting back against her suggestions of going to rehab until he started passing out in his own puke. Because Os had drilled it into his head that only the “medicine” that Os gave him could ever help. That he would be hurt by any sort of actual mental health help. That the only one who truly wanted the best for him was Os. That he couldn’t survive on his own with his crippled mind.

Remus leant close to his crush and ever so gracefully buried his face into their hair. The familiar Remy smell hit him. A mix of coffee beans, cigarette smoke, a stinch of newly rained on leaves and something that could either be weed or mold.

“Smell helps with....with grounding” He said as he held them closer. Remy just smiled and closed their eyes to enjoy his touch.

“Poor little me” Janus dramatically said while fanning themself “I’m being all left out from the cuddles.. Oh woe! What a tragedy!”

The Rems snickered before both flopping over onto them so Jan became their personal pillow. They both cuddled up against his chest while he moved his arms around them.

“Have I told....Beanie have I told you ‘bout ‘bout uhhh Snake! Jannie’s snake! Ms. Carl!?” Remus asked, eyes still a bit clouded.

“Nah girl you haven’t. Wanna tell me ‘bout it in a long detailed rant?” Remy replied with a smile even though Janus very much had mentioned Ms. Carl to them.

“Yayaya! Okay so I”

Remus went on a long detailed rant about how he’d gotten Ms. Carl and all about how he got food for her and had helped Jan buy all the things needed to properly take care of her. Remy gasped along. Jan mostly sat back and listened, only flicking in to say how much of a gorgeous long lil good girl Ms. Carl was.

“Alright!” Remus exclaimed “You’re all looking like you’ve been dropped down into a torture chamber for 8 months without any food! So it’s dinner time!! Thirsting for empanadas anyone?”

“Babe you don’t have to. I’m sure there’s like tots some cereal in the fridge”

“nuh-uh-uh! Empanadas always cheer me up! So you are getting them!! If you want to!!”

The two others nodded eventually which made Remus shine up into a big grin.

“Great! Then I’ll just run down to the closest store and get what I need! I’ll be back faster than it takes a pig without a head to die!”

He quickly got up and gave them both a short hug before bolting out the door. It took only a second before Remy had flopped down even harder onto their friend. 

“only us now” 

Janus played with the tips of their hair “Nice and calm”

“I’m sorry. I’m feeling all gross and like uhghghg gross touching you ‘cause I’m all ghghghghg. Like I’ve barely been taking care of myself”

“Darling, I don’t mind. I am literally friends with Remus..Willingly!”

They chuckled “Truuue. Ugh girl I honestly can’t even like remember the last shower I took”

“I can help you” Janus blurted out without really thinking.

He went red immediately after. Remy stared at him before bursting out into scratchy giggles.

“Oh my gosh Janny!! You don’t gotta be so smooth! Girl!!”

“I meant I could help you over to the room!! Remus is probably going to get distracted by a squirrel or sidewalk liquid so you got plenty of time to shower”

“Aw you gonna carry me over? Like a pretty lil knight?” Remy teased “You been going to the gym or somethang- Oh girl!! You would look so good in like a tank top some gum shorts, maybe some legwarmers!!”

“I may not have gone to the gym, but I have gone over to Logie’s place so I suppose I can try”

Remy kept letting out happy lil giggles as Janus sat up and tried to find the way to lift them that would case them least pain. They ended up being lifted bridal style.

One of the lights had broken so there was only a soft shine in the bathroom. There was mold growing in the corner and Virgil had taken down the fire alarm so he could smoke while bathing. 

Janus sat them down on the edge of the bathtub before turning on the tap in the bath. The two of them awkwardly stared at each other for a little while before Jan turned around. They were blushing so hard the red went down to their neck.

“Girl I’m just sitting here” Remy commented while eyeing the apparent blushing “Whatcha got lil Jannnnnnnnie so nervous?”

When he turned back they sent him the most shit eating grin he’d ever seen. He tried to casually lean against the wall “I was simply looking at this horrendous collection of mold you have. Nearly stomach turning”

They shrugged “You get used to it” They did their best to hide how much their hands were shaking from the simply effort of pulling off their dress.

There were bruises around the wrists, along their right arm, their collarbones. Bruises like fingermarks across their ribs. Jagged scrapes went across their knees along with deeply purple marks. And Janus had to pretend like the injuries weren’t the only thing they could see. Like they weren’t feeling sick to their stomach.

Remy leant down to try and drag off their socks and Janus stumbled forward without even really meaning to “Do you want me to help? I recall you needing help with uh socks before”

He got a big eyed look in response “You remember that?”

“Of course”

Their mouth was just slightly agape “You remember having to help me with my freaking socks and yet you haven’t like triple blocked my number?”

"Do you want help with it?"

They kept staring at him with wide eyes as they shrugged. He leant down on one knee in front of them and gently slipped off the socks. When he glanced up at them they were still looking at him with tender awe.

"You wanna join me?" Remy asked.

"What? In hell?"

They snickered "Not yet you silly bitch. I meant join me in the bath. Only if you like feel comfy. No like- you don’t Need to. I just thought like you do so much for me, you also tots deserve a nice warm like bath"

Janus managed to not change heir expression aside from a twitch in their eyelid. Their voice was it’s normal silky tone as they said

"Well if you also feel comfortable with it I see no reason not to"

Their thoughts were going a bit like "AAAAH FUCK OH SHIT FUCK AH OKAY FUCK WOWOWOW AHHHHH"

Jan got up and turned away from them. He unbuttoned his shirt and laid it neatly by the sink. From the corner of his eye he could see the rest of his crush’s clothes having been thrown away. A splash came from the water as Remy got in. He didn’t dare to turn around.

He reminded himself that something like this didn’t have to be romantic!!! or sexual!!! He’d showered with Patty before when they’d had to hurry to a party!! And they were just friends!!! Remy meant nothing with this!! Nothing was going to happen!!! He was just being a lovestruck idiot!!! A fucking dumbass!!

“Girl!!” Remy let out a light laugh “That’s some cute ass undies”

“Logan bought them for me”

Remy leant their head back and cackled “Of course he did!! That’s so perfect!!”

A chill went up Janus’ back. For a moment the insecure thoughts they’d managed to work away months ago came flooding back in. As they slipped off their underwear all they could think about was Remy seeing them as ugly, undesirable, annoying.

He turned around to get into the bath and was met with Remy looking directly into his eyes. They’d made themself small by pressing their knees to their chest. but there was this huge smile on their lips and pure- well pure happiness? in their eyes. Janus couldn’t quite pin what exactly the look in their eyes meant. 

He made sure to keep his gaze at their face or higher as he sat down on the other side of the bath. It was small enough that the tips of their toes nearly touched.

“You just wanna get it like over with so we don’t gotta be all stale?” Remy asked.

Janus shrugged which they both took as a yes. For about 10 seconds they both looked the other up and down. Before Remy put on an overly serious expression and held out their hand. He shook it while nodding super seriously.

“Nice cook”

“Nice cook, elegant”

Their eyes met and they both burst out into laughter. All the insecurities seemed to wash away from Jan’s thoughts.

Remy tilted their head a little and smiled “You’re so pretty”

“Well so are you” Janus replied, just a bit flushed.

“No but really girl. I just- I just like adore the way your like body moves with you. Like all your skin and little like stretch marks and the way your thighs y’know. I think I could just watch you move for hours. The way your fat folds moved as you sat down, it was so. You’re so pretty. You’re mesmerizing. Look at me being so awestruck I’m churning out big words!! And you’ve got a fat ass too!!”

Jan put on a fake smug look “Well darling it just comes with being this glamorous”

“Girl!! true!! I got 0 glamour, that’s why I’m flat as fish fuck. Ugh. I feel fucking delirious just from like looking at you. It’s no wonder Loginson is all drooly over you if he gets to like be with you 24/7. It’s like winning the lottery”

They had this wonderfully glittering look in their eyes. Like a school kid giving their crush a flower during recess. Just pure bliss of being with their love.

“Ah yes. And unlike me being with you is like winning a trip to 24 hour long rollercoaster” He replied “That was complimentary, trust me” He took the shampoo on the counter and shook it around a little “Logan says I give great head rubbings. Little does he know it is because I got a bad cause of idiot sickness when I was younger and tried to do my own locs”

“Girl I get a bad cause of the idiot every time my eyes open” 

Remy sprayed water over their hair before leaning forward to let him rub the shampoo in. They leant their forehead against his knee. The movements of his fingers were so calming their eyes nearly closed.

“you know who else has fibro?” Remy yawned out.

“Jesus?”

“Lady gaga. She’s so coooool. I wish I could be like here. Like she can like sing and take photos and dance! And wear heels! And have nice skirts and a fat ass! And I can’t even like make a Caesar salad on my own”

“Darling I can’t make a Caesar salad either. I always get stuck on the bread bits. A primal parts of my brain take over and I have to nibble them all down like a horse on horse ketamine” Janus replied “Anyhow isn’t Ms. Lady of the Gaga on a lot more treatments than you are?”

“How would you know?”

“Deary mine you showed me her documentary. You can not win this debate. Not against a fellow gay who you have ranted about missus Gaga for at least 3 hours too”

“Well shit”

Remy moved their hand into a fist and jokingly slammed it into the water. They kept making rings in the water with their finger before hesitantly running their hand along Janus’ side, right up to his waist. They followed their finger along the creases in his skin, along the rolls in his fat.

“Move your head back dear” 

Janus murmured as he put his fingers under their chin to tilt their head back. He rinsed the shampoo out while they closed their eyes and relaxed their shoulders.

“You have much thicker hair than I imagined” Jan said “I like your new hairstyle, I believe I forgot to say that earlier”

“I wouldn’t call it a new hairstyle babe. Viv cuts my hair, we haven’t really had time to lately”

“It fits you, I think at least”

“......i dunno if long hair looks good on me”

“I think you could come out in a hairstyle directly from a 7 year old girl’s mind in 2004 and you would still look great”

Remy snorted “Oh girl trust me. I’ve been dating an emo for like 10 years. I’ve seen some hairstyles from 2004 and they ain’t pretty”

“But you are”

They looked at him before letting out a snorting laugh and pushing their palm right into his face while looking away.

“Oh wow. I show my true smooth self and I get a palm as a thanks” Janus teased back while putting his hand on top of their wrist.

“Please girl, it’s a gift that I’m still in the same room as you. That’s the true compliment” They shook the shampoo around “If you wanna I can do your hair for you. Just to be nice y’know”

Janus looked them up and down before squinting “Honey are you trying to assassinate my hair? I literally have 4c hair”

It took a moment before they dropped the shampoo right into the water “oh my gosh babe I’m a stupid bitch. I’m sorry”

He let up into a wonderful little smile that made their heart ache “It’s all good”

Remy leaned forward and put their arms around his shoulders. They looked up into his eyes and saw their own reflection “Thank you Janus”

“You know how much I love taking baths, a thanks is really not needed”

“No I mean...It really helped...I feel so ugly....I’m scared my hair getting longer makes me too look fem and you- and no guys I like will be attracted to me no more...and....and” Their voice wavered “..The bruises...”

Janus tilted his head and moved to stroke his thumb against their bruised skin “The bruises doesn’t change anything about you. They’re temporary, and according to Remus bruises look badass as hell. Actually now when I think about it I know several people who would describe bruises as quite enhancing of the features”

“And you’re supposed to be one of those people?”

“No. Though I do think the only ugly part of a bruise is how it appeared. I won’t speculate on how you got yours, but I will always be here to...well listen sounds cliche....I will always be here to kick your enemies down some stairs even if those enemies is your mental health and the stairs is a therapist’s office”

Remy let up into a weak smile “Janus, Will you kiss me?”

A wave of what felt like pure electricity went up through Janus’ entire body as they looked at him. His face instantly flushed into a soft pink and his entire brain got filled with ridiculously mushy fireworks and hearts.

“...You...Remy....Virgil...You’re still dating” Janus babbled out.

“I don’t wanna like force you into anything. We don’t have to. But if you want to kiss...I...I just want to feel a bit of...relief....a break from” They glanced down at their bruised wrists “From all of this”

“I- I do” It came out as a whisper “I do”

Janus cupped their cheeks and sent a warm look. They put their hands on top of his and tilted their head just a bit. He saw as they closed their eyes and parsed their lips. Saw how their shoulders tensed up in excitement. How small laugh lines became visible next to their eyes.

He leant in and kissed them.

It was a short one. A gentle one. Like the stroke of a soft feather against their lips. He had closed his eyes as well.

Janus moved back, still with his eyes closed. He tried to play casual but his entire body was shaking with excitement. His hands inevitable shot up to happy flap. He almost didn’t dare to open his eyes.

When he finally mustered up the courage to look at them he was met with Remy absolutely shining with pure happiness. A spark of electricity went up through their body and shot out into their arms. They reached out and took his hands.

“Your lips were even softer than I’d imagined” They murmured out, though they were so excited it came out much more high pitched than they meant to.

“I love you” Was all Janus could get out in response.

“I love you too!” Remy exclaimed “I swear Janny every time I like spend time with you I fell head over heels in love all over again. It is Wild!”

“I honestly thought I was talented with words but I can’t quite place what happens in my brain when I’m near you. I- You make me very Very Very dumb. And I like it......Do you want to kiss again...?”

“OMG! GIRL! YES!!”

They threw their arms even tighter around him and meet him in a kiss. He could feel how their lips drew into a grin. He moved his hands a bit farther up their back to make them inch closer. 

The two of them moved closed until Janus’ back was against the bathtub wall and Remy was sitting in their lap. Their arms hang off of the edge of the bath. Jan broke away from the kiss to press quick kisses to their cheeks which made them let up into soft giggles.

Remy leant their head against the crook of his neck and let their lips play against his skin. Janus noticed as their muscles seemed to tense up and their movements became more rigid.

A slight shake went up their back before they started to slowly grind their hips against his as they opened their legs more. He froze in place and couldn’t help but notice the way Remy had shut their lips into a tight line. The way their toes had curdled up.

“Dear, you-”

Remy shot their head back to look at him “Sorry. Did I like make you uncomfy?”

“No! Not at all darling. It was just glaringly obvious how...your mood suddenly shifted” He let his hand rest against their cheek “There is nothing we Have to do deary. Just because we reciprocate each other’s feelings or because we’re uhhh naked and in a bath or because we had our first kiss, we don’t have to do anything. I know whenever couple’s kiss for the first time on tv they always seem to have sex immediately afterwards! But!! That just means we would be incredibly counter culture if we didn’t fuck immediately! And that is even more sexy when you think about it!”

They kept their eyes down into the water “I’m sorry for ruining it”

“You didn’t ruin anything! We can continue if you want to.....Do you want to?”

Remy tried to say no but the word wouldn’t leave their mouth. They couldn’t even shake their head. It felt like someone was strangling them. They could feel the hands around their neck. It was so real. The fingers were digging in. The nails were leaving marks.

They managed to shrug.

“A maybe isn’t a yes” Was all Janus said as he gently moved them back from his lap.

Remy crossed their arms around themselfs and tried to hide most of their face in the water. “I dunno if I want you to look at me right now” They mumbled out.

Janus started to fumble with his thumbs “..Do you wish for me to uhm leave?”

They shrugged again so he grabbed a towel and got up from the bath. He looked away from them while quickly taking on his clothes.

“I don’t know why you suddenly want me to go but I will respect it either way. Don’t...drown ?”

The moment they left the bathroom they could hear bonking followed by maniacal laughter coming from the kitchen. Remus was banging a rolling pin against a lump of dough.

“Oh hey J-anus!” He exclaimed “Finally got done with sealing away demons in the sink eh?”

“The pile of giant laundry taunted me until I helped Remy clean up. That’s all” They swiftly lied back while crossing their arms.

“C’mooonn now. You can’t lie like that to a fellow kinky hair haver. You’ve been bathing. I can see it”

Janus let out a string of muffled words that were completely unhearable.

“It’s oookkkKAy” He said while taking ahold of their hands. He pulled them along in a sort of shimy dance “I’m no teller” He actually winked “Now come here. I need your big soft librarian muscles!”

They fake sighed before going along with kneading out the dough. Remus kept pulling out weirder and weirder shaped vegetables from the shopping bag all while complimenting them on their ‘graceful kneading’.

His grin was way too big as he got to sharpen the kitchen knife. He was just about to stab the first onion when a metallic thud rang through the apartment. Followed by a muffled whimper.

The two of them shared a quick glance before abandoning everything to go over to the bathroom. Remus pressed his ear against the door and held his hand on the doorknob.

“Beanie? You good?”

“Yeah- Yeah all good- Sorry- I’m sorry” They were audibly choking back tears.

Remus opened the door just a little and glimpsed inside. Remy was laying on the floor with a towel hastily tied around their waist. Their knee was red from hitting against the bathtub.

“Sorry. I just- unstable legs. Yknow like- like” They forced a smile “Like jelly or whatever people say! I just got too excited about finally not being a grimy gross thing! Just fell a little! It’s fine! I can- I can walk and like fix it all myself! You can go whenever you want- You know that right? Whenever! I- I-”

Remus hunched down in front of them and leant his forehead against theirs. He wiped away a tear at the edge of their eye. Their shoulders were shaking.

“I’m sorry. You can leave. It’s okay. I’m sorry”

All Remy could think about was the times they’d called out to Virgil for help. His annoyed looks and harsh touches. His nearly constant rolling of the eyes or sighs and when they tried to apologize he would just shrug it off and say it was nothing. Until he let out a muttered insult. And then another. And another. until they wished they’d just rotted away in there so they didn’t have to be an annoying selfish burden of a useless problem who needs attention all the time and who only ever drain the energy of othERS AND OH GOD EVERYONE WAS GOING TO LEAVE THEM. JANUS AND REMUS WAS GOING TO REALIZE HOW HORRIBLE THEY ARE AND THEY HADN’T EVEN BEEN ABLE TO GIVE JANUS PLEASURE SO THEY MUST WANT TO LEAVE AND-

And Remus hugged them while Janus calmly unplugged the bath and picked up their clothes.

“You don’t need to say sorry Beanie. Y’know Ro gets so dramatic during every one of her periods she makes me get her like everything. You have literally seen how much caring I need while balls deep in a psychosis episode. This is nothing. Unless you’ve been affected by an alien and you’re legs are literally turning jello and you’re about to start floating down the drain pipe”

“I’m sorry”

“No! No! Beanie! This is just an opportunity for me to flex my super sexy macho muscles while helping you up!! This is only positive!! Because of this I’m gonna get so strong I’m gonna punch all the zombies when the apocalypse starts! Now c’mon”

Remus put his arm around their shoulders and let them lean against his side as he stood up. They kept looking down into the floor the entire time. Janus followed along as they went out into the living room.

He held his head close against theirs and whispered “I know that guilt. We’re not burdens, I promise. Beside now i get to honk honk”

He stared directly into his eyes as he reached out and pretended to honk their shoulder blade. It managed to get a small smile from them.

“Well! I got a kitchen to burn! Jannie? Could you-”

“Yes of course” They quickly stepped in and let Remy lean against them.

Jan led them into the bedroom and helped them down on the bed. The enby sighed and pulled up a wrinkled dress from one of the piles of unclean laundry on the floor.

The weight of the bed shifted while they put it on. They felt Janus lean his head against their spine. His fingers absentmindedly fibbled with the end of the skirt.

“I didn’t dislike the kiss” Remy mumbled out “I just had to like take a sec....I wasn’t ready for you to like not want to...not want to...get something in...return” 

“Darling mine, a kiss is already enough. I don’t need anything more than being with you. Besides it’s good. We shouldn’t- It wouldn’t- You and Virgil seem to be very- slightly- a bit codependent and I would feel horrible at best and incredibly manipulative at worst if i somehow worsened that. I don’t think it would be healthy for either of us to attempt to date or have any sort of sexual relationship before you and Virgil have departed ways and you’ve met this lovely thing called professional help”

They could feel his lips grace against their skin as he spoke. Their hand searched around behind them until they felt his warmth. They held onto his hand ever so lightly.

“I’m sorry. If you dare say ‘it’s okay’ another fucking time Girl I’m gonna bite something!”

They could literally feel the sly smile Janus got “Oh honey I’m not against some biting. Vampire affection and all that”

“Girl!! Shut up!! Jasus!!”

They rolled their eyes while biting their tongue to keep back a laugh. Janus moved his free arm around their waist and butted his forehead jokingly against their neck.

“There’s that usual Remy tone”

“High pitched and annoying?”

“High pitched, annoying and lovely”

They leant their head back and looked at him “Can’t we just kiss? Ain’t gotta date just ‘cause we kiss”

Janus hesitated before cracking up into a shining grin and kissing them. 

He laid down against the sheets and let Remy cuddle up on top of him. They twirled one of his locs between their fingers while kissing him.

“I’ve never kissed anyone except for Virgil before” Remy murmured out.

“Really? I hope I wasn’t a disappointment then”

“Nah girl. Don’t ya worry. This is like your first non Logie kiss as well right?”

Janus slowly blinked “Not really. I have” He started to count on his fingers.

“GIRL???? You gotta think this long???? Have I been hanging around a player all this time without knowing??????? JANISTER????”

“I think you underestimate how many parties Logan and Patty go to. He likes to bring me with them okay. I’m not against some mingling. Some flirting even! Gasp! I know! How mischievous of them!”

Remy let out a shrill laugh “oh hun I wish like every day could be like this. Just me and my JanJan and my fellow Rem”

Janus nearly held back his words “And Virgil?”

They didn’t respond.

He tried to break the sudden silence “On second thought I think it’s really good you turned me down. I’ve never been with someone with chronic pain before so if you would be fine with it I would like to hear what you and- what you do to prevent pain during intimacy”

Remy squinted at them “......uhhh like...like nothing...???”

“Excuse me?” They waved their hands around “I mean I suppose that feeling pain could be a positive thing during sex even for those with chronic pain! I don’t judge!”

“No! Not like that! I just- Me and Viv haven’t talked about it” They shrugged.

“You haven’t discussed....how not to cause you pain during pleasure acts? Honey I can get the same kind of pains a person would get after a workout the morning after I have done anything. I am unsure if your body is capable to go through that kind of physical activity without triggering some kind of serious pain. Deary I’m so sorry”

“It’s just like a thing that happens in relationships y’know!! Like I just kinda take it and like try to hide my whimpers and stuff to not like ruin the mood so he doesn’t like get annoyed and I try to like hold on so I don’t gotta stop in the middle like very time, and then it’s like over. I’ve never really thought it matters how I enjoy it. It’s just good for when you gotta end a fight or like make him happy or whatever”

Janus held back a grimace “My love, We can leave. Just a reminder. Even if Remus is cooking right now, if you want to leave we Will leave”

“My head hurts whenever I think of him. Everything hurts. Can’t we just go join Remus? I...It hurts”

He pressed a soft kiss to the bruise next to their eye “Of course”

Remus had finished up both the empanada dough and filling. He was putting the filling into the dough and sealing it up all prettily. His movements were slow and his eyes were staring off at the wall.

When he heard their steps, or well Janus steps since they were carrying Remy, he turned and slowly waved at them “dissociating. Dunno why....not in an upset like way so....so don’t like worry”

The smell of Oswald’s axe cologne still lingered around the kitchen from his last visit. As well as the slight smell of ketamine and rohypnol. It wasn’t prominent enough to make Remus notice it but enough to make his subconscious flight response fire up.

Remy sat down on the kitchen floor as Janus asked Remus to show them how to make the empanadas. They took over and let Remus sit down on the floor as well to rest up.

Him dissociating made Remy dissociate as well. Janus had a slight smile on their lips the entire time as he listened to the two of them groggily telling stories to each other. It was all slow downed and interrupted with both of them giggling and gasping at almost everything.

He only stopped babbling with his bestie when Jan needed to know how long the empanadas should stay in the oven. He proceeded to drag Remy out into the living room.

When Janus came out with a plate overfilled with the finished empanadas the Rems had built a blanket fort around the sofa and had put on some incredibly cheesy movie from the 90′s. Most of the dissociation had disappeared as the touch of the soft blankets were really grounding.

They both dragged Janus into the fort. Remus did a whole monologue about welcoming them into the super secret Frightening Fearful Fort. 

Remy kissed both of their cheeks “Thanks babes for the food!!!”

Jan and Remus kissed them on each of their cheeks at the same time “You’re welcome darling” “You can pay me back in blood, Worm!!” 

Remy used Jan’s tummy as a pillow and let the rest of their body stretch out between his legs. They ate while the movie played. Every now and again they would sneak kisses though Remus just made hand fisted jokes whenever he saw them.

“Awww you lil gross love birbs are sooo cute and disgusting!” Remus awed out while pouting and tilting his head “Now I gotta give 20 dollars to Ro though. She betted you def had a thing going on and I just kept saying we were all just friends”

“We are!” Remy exclaimed back.

“Friends can kiss! I have kissed Patty and we are only platonic friends and steppartners in law!”

Remus started to vibrate “Does that mean you can kiss meeeee? We can send food waste to each others mouths via tongue????”

For some reason Remy and Janus glanced at each other before both shrugging and nodding.

“GaBablaghafucgha” Was the literal noise Remus got out as he for once blushed.

He waved his hands around and tried to hide his red face by pulling his t-shirt over his head.

“Girl we weren’t gonna all sudden kiss you”

“I know!!!” 

Just the thought of it actually happening had sent him into a flustered mess. Just daydreaming about it made him melt. He couldn’t handle this. 

“AHHH! SlEEP! It IS SLEEPING TIME!! Or else the uhhhh night goblins and the Mean non blue ghosts will come and uhhh devour us and rip out our calcium!!! C’mon!! C’mon!!! SleeEEP!” Remus blurted out to distract from his flushed cheeks.

“You are really inviting yourself into Remy’s bed like that. Rude. Unclassy even. No manners” Janus tsked.

“Bitches I’mma cold ass fucker. I need my two babes warming me up!!”

“YAYAYAYA!”

They all left the dishes and blanket fort for tomorrow. Jan and Remy both quietly reassured their friend that he could leave the bed at any time if being so close to them made him uncomfortable.

None of them bothered to change their clothes. They all just piled up into the bed. Janus was dragged into the middle for cuddle reasons. The Rems curdled up on him from both sides. Remy stole another kiss.

“Goodnight babes!” “Goodnight darlings” “Goodnight sleep tight don’t let the cowboys bite!”

It took a little while to fall asleep because they kept mumbling out silly little half finished sentences and jokingly kicking at each other under the blanket, but once they did fall asleep it was the first time in several months that any of them had slept as peaceful as they did.

--

Remy woke up in the early mornings. Their body was already tensed up before their eyes had opened. But as soon as they heard Janus’ calm snoring they calmed down.

He was half laying on top of them with his arms closely spun around them. His cheek was smoshed against the top of their head. He looked so happy even with his eyes closed and drool going down his chin.

They could have probably stayed there enjoying the moment until he woke up if it wasn’t for Remus being gone from the bed. He must have tucked the blankets around them closer before he left.

The door to the living room was slightly open, letting in a streak of dim morning light. They could see Remus sitting on the couch with his back against them. They bit the inside of their cheek while thinking.

Remy looked over to the corner of the room and began to whisper “Watchers? You here? Should I like go join Rem? I mean maybe he just like woke up at a reasonable time?? or maybe he like left ‘cause he was uncomfy and it would be super rude of me to intrude????? Ugh. Why does having friends gotta be so complicated. Girl help!”

〚Hi thanks for reading all this. i just wanted to drop in and say that in the original idea for this mini fic remus wasnt there. it was bc of an ask from Snail that he was added and as you can imagine a lot of scenes changed and were added. if y’all ever wonder how much y’alls asks change things. Also i think some people have been away from the blog for a lil bit bc of exams so i hope this mini fic can sit here as a sort of present for when you come back from winning over those darn exams <3 〛

#mini fic #Thanks for the ask! #glow eyes #sanders sides #oh shit tme to fucking hffbhff proofread its 1:30 am jesusfhubskdjjksd